Bruiser Chong

Haven't we been expecting it before every trade deadline the last three or four seasons?

I think I paid $30 to see a concert in 2000 where TDD was the opening act no one had ever heard of.

What a bizarre day. I heard some beeping outside a couple hours ago and then some yelling. Apparently one of my neighbors started a fire and/or created a TON of smoke. So I've been enjoying the lights and sounds of fire trucks and ambulances since then. I was outside for a bit because I'm one of those people and on the way back in, was talking to my neighbor whose mailbox was open. Apparently I didn't bother to look inside the mailbox long enough, because she told me it was actually a bat in there, which makes a LOT more sense than a mouse. Ew.

Nights like this make me wish I still got MLB Extra Innings. I have zero interest in the Tigers and Royals and the ESPN game isn't exactly a competitive outing.

That isn't a very eloquent suicide away message. EDIT: No suicide.

You could always just get real fruit and mix that in. You're mixing as it is and at least this way, the fruit you're eating isn't crap.

I can see the justification of a hair transplant because some guys just do not look good with a shaved head. Most black guys look fine, but for every white guy who looks fine with a shaved head, there are at least two or three who look silly. As for the facial hair one, I think that borders on being too vain. My facial hair grows in patchy at best. And since the hair I do grow is a mix of brown and light blond, a five o'clock shadow is the only thing from the facial hair catalog that doesn't look ridiculous on me. There's a spot under my chin that doesn't seem to grow much hair, so even then, it's not a look I can sport and feel comfortable with for very long. My advice is to let it slide. You might be one of those guys who a beard does nothing for. And even if you aren't, it could be worse. Just be happy you aren't balding.

Speaking of mail, I would like to get my mail today, but there's a fucking MOUSE in the mailbox next to mine. I think I'll wait until it vacates before I take into today's collection of coupons I'll pitch right away and to make sure I again didn't get my stimulus check.

FINALLY, we've got mention of Survivor Series on Primetime. Pretty cool they knew the card almost two months ahead of time. That kind of foresight is certainly an extinct art in wrestling today. And is it a requisite we get an S.D. Jones match every week? I've never seen so much of Special Delivery as I have in the last year of ordering 24/7.

Seems silly to reduce your alleged power hitters to parlor tricks in order to get on base. I despise Jason Marquis, by the way. It's insane this guy's rotation spot isn't in jeopardy. Meanwhile, Rich Hill is exiled to AAA for far less offenses.

I'm not sure exactly how many people belong to this group of alleged friends she's always scorning, but I swear she's been "done" with them five or six times a month as long as I care to remember.

Again, why be logged on to a service which is specifically designed for contact with other people if she feels this way? I can't imagine why no one wants to hang out with her.

Jesus Christ. Yes, he should be punished, but it's stupid this story's going to bring on a "fresh" onslaught of "OMG KILL THE HUMANS, SEE HOW THEY LIKE IT~" declarations. I don't care much for animals, but wouldn't take part in abusing them. But my god, it's incredible how many people would rather have a human being abused or killed before a fucking DOG.

Fucking stupid. What sense does it make to sign a guy that the worst team in baseball had no use for? Despite all the good, this organization is still the drizzling shits when it comes to developing young talent. In the rare instance they draft someone worth a damn, you can bet their development will be seriously compromised in some fashion by the Cubs.

The aforementioned friends have apparently either been forgotten or fallen out of favor: I'm not sure why you'd be signed on to AIM if you were going to ignore your computer. That goes for anyone. And her optimism is surely persuading her friends to contact her.

The Giants are about to lose again, but Zito won't take the loss, since the deficit's on the bullpen's collective head. That's no fun.

I haven't been to Cleveland in a couple of years, but I was there semi-regularly for several years prior. I was always amazed how great the area right around the ballpark formerly known as Jacobs Field and the arena formerly known as Gund was, but how it instantly became a shithole if you ventured much further than that. Cleveland's a pretty impoverished looking city if you hit up most of the areas away from downtown.

It's amazing how putrid they look. That three-run play on what could've been a groundout is the type of play I have grown accustomed to seeing the Cubbies execute on the regular. I think it's worth noting the Cubs are 15 walks away from hitting the halfway mark of the total number of free passes they received in 2006. They won't keep up the torrid pace of drawing walks, but if it's anything close, they shouldn't experience too many offensive droughts this season. This is easily the best Cubs offense I've seen in the 15 seasons I've followed them.

Why do they hate Felix Pie so damn much?

Glad to see the Cubs overcame Lou's fixation on using Chad Fox in critical spots. He shouldn't be on the major league roster, let alone involved in big spots. Sean Gallagher looked great, though, which makes me a bit happier that Brian Roberts deal never went through, since it would've been Gallagher, Cedeno and more going to Baltimore.

Vernon Wells has a broken wrist. Bye, Jays.

Lou can feel free to end this "Reed Johnson is an everyday player" notion any time he wishes. You take out his hot start and then consider Pie's defensive strengths and the two aren't so different as to be warranting the contrast in playing time.

This was one of those days where I didn't realize the Cubs played an afternoon game. Looking at the results, that's a blessing. SEVEN homers? Good thing they sent Hill packing, right?

We didn't have F's. We had E's.

Oh, elementary school. Nothing like the big fish-small pond atmosphere. It did me no favors to go to a mostly white elementary school, which allowed for delusions that I was good at basketball. I got set straight before my first week of middle school was over. I could wax nostalgic about elementary school all day, but here are some notables: - I became obsessed with getting into fights during the second grade. Most of these involved my only enemy at school. I can't even recall why we were at odd, since he didn't pick on me or anything. But we fought at least once a week. My most notable fight came against a different kid on the way home from school. He was picking on someone, perhaps my younger brother. I slammed his head into a phone pole. The bad ass aspect of it is negated by the fact that I had someone hold on to my glasses during all of this. Ironically enough, the kid who held on to them was the one I usually fought with. - I ran for captain of safety patrol at the end of fourth grade. I was pitted against my best friend, who I liked or despised from the third grade up until high school, depending on the hour. I cried like a little girl when they announced over the PA that he had won. - I got ill and shit my pants in class during the first grade. In my defense, it was one of those instances where it came out of nowhere. The best part was waiting for my mom to leave her class at the middle school, come pick me up, and have me FACE the front seat on the drive home. - I got all A's until math in sixth grade. Grades were once a huge deal to me, so when my teacher in the fourth grade threatened me with anything less than A's on my report card because I spilled someone's All Sport on her grade book, I was devastated. - My first crush was the worst-kept secret at my school from 1993 to 1996. Being the shy putz I was, I never made a move, which I guess in those days meant I never tried to sit next to her while we ate our hot lunch. - I vividly recall the afternoon my fifth grade teacher threatened to sue one of my classmates after he'd told her a joke that ended with him smashing his palm into her forehead.