Patty O'Green

(Return) *the lights go out in the arena and all the fans stand up* COLE What the hell is going on here? *A funeral bell strikes in the back ground as a green smoke begins to billow out onto the entrance way* COACH It can't be! I thought they dissapeared! They all dissapeared! *Finally the Ministry of Darkness music begins to play as a figure steps out onto the stage. It is DAMARAMU. Stepping out behind him are Skull Mask and Skull Kid. All three men begin a slow walk to the stage as the fans stand in awe.* COLE We haven't seen The Cult or Ryan Smith in a few weeks! They just mysteriously vanished one week! *Damaramu finally steps into the ring and stops as the light come back up. He still appears to be the same evil Damaramu before he left. Silver hair, pale skin, pupil-less eyes and all.* FANS GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY! DAMA Shut up. I bet you loved your month break without me! *The fans go nuts.* DAMA Yeah I knew you all would. And I bet everyone is wondering where we were? And what happened to Ryan Smith? I mean it seemed we were all set for a match at the Pay Per View! Perhaps a gauntlet match of some sort? Or Ryan was going to find some partners? Well let me tell you all what really happened! *The fans actually shut up wanting to hear where Smith is.* DAMA You see there is a 3rd Skull brother. One that chose to remain wrestling in Mexico. His name is Gigas Skull and he's bigger than Skull Mask. COLE Is that possible? DAMA Anyways just before the Helddown that I dissapeared on I get a phone call from Gigas. Seems he's gotten himself into a lot of trouble with a stable down there known as the 3 Amigo's + 3. These are the 6 toughest and meanest wrestlers in Mexico. He doesn't know who to turn to. So I go to Abe Vigoda to explain what happened and he tells me to just go. So we headed down to Mexico to take on these 3 Amigo's+3. It was actually pretty easy. They all went down without a fight. One problem was we were followed. By Ryan Smith! *The fans cheer* DAMA Yeah well I battled Smith in a Mexican Death match. I defeated the punk in brutal and bloody fashion. I was arrested and tossed in a Mexican prison for a couple of weeks because several old people had heart attacks at the sight of what I did to Smith. Smith is layed up in a hospital somewhere in Tijuana. But now we're back! And back to destroy any other superstar on Helddown that gets in our way! *The fans are speechless* COLE Mexican Death Match? Prison? Tijuana Hospital? 3 Amigos+3? CABOOSE What a brave young man.....*sniff* *Suddenly the fans go wild as the OU Fight Song starts up. Ryan Smith comes streaking to the ring with a chair in hand as Damaramu and The Cult clear out of the ring. Smith is livid as he grabs a microphone.* SMITH Yeah real funny story asshole! Why don't you tell them the truth! You went to Mexico and challenged me to an unsanctioned death match! Well guess what!? YOU DIDN'T GET THE JOB DONE! AND NOW I'M BACK TO! *Dama looks super pissed backing up the ramp* SMITH You and your cult don't scare me! Not after what you did to me! *Smith rips his shirt off revealing scars across his chest, arms, and back* COLE OH MY GOD! SMITH I'll show you fans what a sick bastard this guy really is! I have video of the Death Match! I'll show it on Helddown next week! *The fans cheer getting to see this* SMITH Then you can see what a sick bastard him and his cult really are! And Damaramu........after that.......YOUR DEAD! That's a promise! *Dama keeps backing up the ramp as Smith's music continues to play and the fans all cheer.* FADE TO BLACK (Go to break) (Return from break) COLE Coming up next is the highly anticipated rematch between The Mad Cappa and Drek Stone. At School’s Out, Cappa was able to retain his title by using Drek’s own move against him. CABOOSE The world has been a darker place ever since. COLE Well, last week, Drek put out an open challenge to The Mad Cappa. He vowed revenge on him somehow, but didn’t say when. Cappa immediately went to Mr.Vigoda’s office and demanded this match for tonight. COACH See Boose, that’s what an upstanding champion does. He saw that Drek wanted another title shot, and he made sure to grant it as soon as possible. CABOOSE Is that we he did? Or did he just not want to prolong the inevitable? Cappa’s trying to save his life here by handing over the title nice and quick. Or, like Drek said……he could be wearing a new pair of Nike Concretes. COLE Well, it’s time to get down to the ring for what is sure to be yet another thrilling matchup. Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One *The fans start to loudly jeer as Drek struts out of the entranceway with a confident grin on his face. He slowly saunters down to ringside making the championship-belt gesture around his waist. Once he climbs into the ring, he stands in the center and waits a few seconds, soaking up the disgust of the crowd. Finally, he pounds his chest defiantly as an impressive series of fireworks rise from the four corners.* COLE Could tonight be the night that Drek Stone is finally able to add OAOAST gold to his resume? CABOOSE Fifty dollars says he will. COACH Boose, you actually placed a bet on Drek winning this match tonight? CABOOSE Oh no, I didn’t. Cappa did. *1,2,3! HIT IT!* “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” blasts over the loudspeakers as The Mad Cappa walks out of the entranceway to a roaring reaction from the crowd. With the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title around his waist, he slowly walks down to ringside with a smile on his face. Along the way, he stops to slap hands with some of the fans sitting ringside while the crowd begins to loudly chant “CAPPA! CAPPA!”. After getting in the ring, he raises his arms up to the people and receives an even louder reaction. Finally, he turns his attention to Drek Stone* *DING DING DING* COACH Okay, men. Here we go. Drek Stone and The Mad Cappa - the OAOAST Puerto Rican Championship ON THE LINE! COLE And the bell has sounded! This match is under way! CABOOSE And Drek just hit Cappa with the StoneCutter. He makes the cover. ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!! AND DREK STONE HAS JUST WON THE OAOAST PUERTO RICAN TITLE! COACH Caboose, what the hell are you talking about?! They haven’t even started grappling yet! CABOOSE Well, yeah. But imagine the blind people sitting home right now….they probably already popped the champagne. Just trying to get the celebration started early. Drek and Cappa slowly walk towards one another, their eyes locked in mutual glazes of determination. Only a few feet away from each other, they continue to stare……until they finally lock up in a grapple! Drek uses his momentum to grapple-push Cappa into the nearest corner, but Cappa quickly reverses it and grapple-pushes Drek into that corner. They slowly move away from the turnbuckle, still linked in a strong grapple. Suddenly, Drek pulls his right arm out of the grapple and gives Cappa a vicious punch to the face. Cappa FALLS STRAIGHT DOWN TO THE MAT!! COLE What the hell was that?! COACH Look at that!! Drek is wearing a pair of brass knuckles!! COLE Oh, this is terrible. The referee is calling for the bell. CABOOSE Terrible?! Einstein only wishes he would have thought of attacking Newton with a pair of brass knucks. *DING DING DING* The fans start booing at the decision as Cappa makes a struggle to get back to his feet. Busted open along his forehead, Cappa has a line of blood slowly tricking down his face. Once he’s on his feet, Drek moves back…..and gives him ANOTHER nasty shot to the face with the brass knuckles. CABOOSE Do you see this?! Do you NOW SEE what I tried to warn you about?! Cappa unleashed this brutal side of Drek, and he has nobody to blame but himself! With Cappa down on the mat, Drek slowly walks towards his legs with a proud smirk across his face. At this point, Cappa’s blood has began to spurt out at heavier intervals. Drek stares at the puddle of blood surrounding Cappa’s head, then looks at the fans and arrogantly pounds his chest. Ignoring the loud boos, Drek picks up both of Cappa’s legs and holds them underneath his arms. Suddenly, he begins to turn Cappa over…. COLE Oh god, he can’t be doing this! As if he hasn’t hurt Cappa enough. CABOOSE You didn’t listen to me, Cole. I TOLD YOU! I TOLD ALL OF YOU! Now, watch this! …..AND DREK LOCKS HIM INTO THE WALLS OF CAPPA!! Cappa starts screaming loudly, then tries arching his back in an attempt to relieve the pressure. But Drek, with a determined look on his face, remains unwavering and adds even more pressure to the move. With blood continuing to pour down his face, Cappa begins to claw for the ring ropes, looking for something that could give him some kind of support. Yet, Drek just manages to sit back even further. CAPPA IS IN TREMENDOUS PAIN! Finally, referees and ring agents start running to the ring. COLE Somebody needs to stop this RIGHT NOW!! This was a damn set-up from the beginning!! CABOOSE Amazing observation skills, Cole. What tipped you off?! COACH This is getting real bad! The Mad Cappa is losing a terrible amount of blood! A group of referees and agents surround Drek, and manage to pull him off of the Mad Cappa. They try to push Drek out of the ring to get him out of there, but Drek violently pushes one of the referees down to the ground. He grabs the nearest ring agent by his head and gives him a nasty punch down to the mat. Nearly all of the remaining referees and agents run out of the ring, but Drek grabs one of the referees by his arm. He fiercely pulls the ref towards him, and drops him with a wicked short-arm clothesline! The fans start going crazy with boos and rabid chants of “Drek Stone Sucks! Drek Stone Sucks!” CABOOSE Drek Stone sucks?! Is that what they’re chanting?! How many people could clear out a ring of all these officials?! How many people could do what Drek has done to the Mad Cappa tonight?! Outstretching his arms for the crowd, Drek pompously absorbs all the hatred they’re screaming at him. He slowly around and……THE MAD CAPPA TACKLES HIM DOWN TO THE MAT!! The fans EXPLODE as Cappa starts unleashing a series of rights and lefts on Drek. COLE HERE COMES THE MAD CAPPA!! AND THE FANS ARE LOVING IT!! COACH NEVER count Cappa out!! Never! CABOOSE This is a serious health hazard! Cappa is bleeding!! He could give Drek a disease!! OH GOOD GOD!!! The Mad Cappa picks up Drek by his hair and flings him into the corner. He begins to let loose with a violent series of stomps into Drek’s midsection. Drek almost starts to slump down in the corner, but Cappa won’t allow it. He forces Drek to stand up on his feet and gives him a kick to the midsection. HE REACHES FOR THE BUST-A-CAP…..but Drek pushes him away and slides underneath the bottom rope! He starts to crawl towards the timekeeper, but Cappa makes a quick attempt to follow him. COLE I think it goes without saying that Drek didn’t quite plan this to turn out like this. CABOOSE Which is why the guy ALWAYS has a back-up plan. Look what he just grabbed from the timekeeper! Cappa yanks Drek by his hair, bringing him back to a vertical position. But Drek quickly turns around – AND SMASHES THE MAD CAPPA IN THE FACE WITH THE PUERTO RICAN TITLE!! The Mad Cappa slowly falls to the arena floor as the fans groan and begin to boo once again. At this point, Cappa’s face is an absolute mess. Once again, Drek pounds his chest for the fans. He then starts to fix his hair with his hands, but quickly stops when he sees Cappa making an attempt to get back up. COACH And will you look at this, Boose?! The Mad Cappa REFUSES to stay down! COLE What strength the Mad Cappa has. Throughout this beating, he just will NOT give up. Even throughout the blood loss, The Mad Cappa KEEPS GOING!! CABOOSE The guy’s a moron. He brought this on himself….and now he just WON’T STAY DOWN!! Why does he want to do this to his life? Drek stares at Cappa with a mixed look of amazement and shock. Slowly, a scowl crosses his face as Cappa manages to make it onto his knees. He swiftly pulls Cappa up by his neck, kicks him in the stomach, AND DROPS HIM WITH A STONECUTTER…..ONTO THE PUERTO RICAN TITLE!! The entire crowd gasps in shock, watching Cappa’s neck fold upon impact. The Mad Cappa is OUT COLD!! Drek stares defiantly at a prone Cappa, then lets a calm grin cross his face. Taking deep breaths, he stares out at the fans with his customary, cocky smirk. COLE There! Is he happy?! He did his damage! He targeted Cappa’s neck! He left him a bloody mess outside of the ring. Is Drek Stone done? CABOOSE Well, you tell me. Drek begins to walk around the ring, looking like he’s ready to move to the back. He suddenly pauses and begins walking the other way, back towards Cappa. However, he doesn’t stop to continue the beatdown. He simply steps on Cappa and continues on his way around the ring and towards the back. Throughout the entire walk, Drek looks incredibly pleased with what he has done. Once at the top of the ramp, he holds his arms up, and the arena breaks out in a LOUD chant of “ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!” Finally, he walks through the curtains. Meanwhile, the referee focuses on the Mad Cappa, who is slowly beginning to move his arms. The fans break out in a series of cheers , but the referres and ring attendants quickly run over to Cappa to help him. COLE Well, I hope Drek Stone is happy with what he’s done tonight. CABOOSE It amazes me just how many more times I’m right than everybody else. I told you what would happen if Cappa managed to anger Drek. Well, now, you ALL saw it up-close. You just DON’T want to mess with the Italian temper. COACH Boose, have you ever thought about Cappa’s temper? Have you ever thought about the bloody revenge Cappa is going to want to extract after what happened tonight?! I think the biggest question after tonight is NOT about the attack Drek unleashed on Cappa but……what is Cappa going to have in store for Drek? COLE Ladies and gentlemen, I’m getting the oddest feeling that this feud just might not be over yet. CABOOSE It won’t be over until Drek finally captures the Puerto Rican Title that he RIGHTFULLY deserves. COACH Unless Cappa manages to get his revenge first……there is NO WAY he will let tonight go unpunished. COLE Well, folks, we understand we have a camera on Eddy Kalm backstage! What do you say we take you there? (We go backstage where Eddy Kalm is sitting behind a desk with his feet propped up, trying to get comfortable. The fans cheer as there is a knock at the door.) EDDY Come in! *Rick enters the room and the cheers turn to boos* EDDY Ah Rick, come on in. *Rick sits in a chair with his arms folded and just stares at Eddy.* EDDY Don’t sit down! We’re going to start off the day with some exercises. RICK I’ve already worked out today. EDDY I don’t mean those kinds of exercises. I mean ones to clear your mind. RICK Give me a break. *Rick stands up, but he doesn’t look happy.* EDDY First we will start with breathing exercises. These were Parka’s favorite. Just do like I do. *breathes like he’s giving birth, with bugged out eyes and puffed out cheeks.* *Rick just stares* EDDY Come on now, don’t be a sourpuss. I wouldn’t want to tell Abe you’re being uncooperative. *Rick rolls his eyes and then quickly does the breathing exercise with no real effort.* EDDY I guess that will do for now. Now take a deep breath. *breathes deep*………hold it……..hold it…….suck in the happy…..*lets out the breath*……and blow out the pissed. *Rick reluctantly takes a deep breath* EDDYNow don’t you feel better? RICK Yup…are we done? EDDY No we’re not. Sit down. *Rick plops down with one leg dangling over the arm of the chair* EDDY Now tell me what has been bothering you lately? RICK You. EDDY Ha ha…what has really been bothering you? RICK Abe. EDDY Okay tell me more about that. RICK He’s an idiot with a personal vendetta against me and I don’t like him very much. EDDY You don’t think he’s just trying to help you? RICK Help me what!? EDDY Help you become who you need to be instead of self destructing. RICK You think I’m self destructing? I’m the X-freakin-Champ, no thanks to Abe. He’s just pushing my buttons so that he can have a new play toy! EDDY It seems like you were angry before that though. What else is bothering you? RICKWhat’s bothering me is that everyone has this idea of what I’m supposed to be and they keep telling me about it. Like this girl I had to talk to for work! EDDY I saw that on the monitor. She seemed nice. RICK She’s a psycho! EDDY She cared enough to send you a card in the hospital. Isn’t that your big complaint that no one cared? RICK I don’t know her. She’s not going to make up for everyone else’s lack of compassion. EDDY You seem to have a lot in common with her though. She has very little left and so do you. You have to realize sooner or later that there will always be someone who cares whether you know it or not. RICK Are you finished? I don’t care if she cares because she means nothing to me. The people I cared about didn’t care and that’s what matters. I gave myself to them and they didn’t give back. EDDY How long are you going to let that bother you? RICK I don’t know. Until people start appreciating me for who I am instead of trying to make me into what they want I guess. EDDY Is how you act now really what YOU want? RICK I guess. EDDY It seems to me that as long as you are acting the opposite of what others want you are at least pacified. Is that any way to live? RICK Listen you piece of crap! Don’t start with that stuff as well! EDDYI think that’s enough for today. Obviously there is more under the surface that we haven’t reached yet. RICK Good…I was really getting sick of this. *Rick gets up to leave and turns around to see Abe Vigoda’s smiling face. The fans cheer loudly at the sight of Abe.* ABE How did it go? Wait…don’t answer that. I don’t want to hear you whine! *the fans laugh* ABE I’m here to give you your first hint about your mystery opponent for the Bash. RICK Thank God! ABE This man is a former champion here in the OAOAST. I won’t tell you which belt he held, but he was a champion! RICK That’s it!? How am I supposed to figure it out from that!? ABE You probably won’t, but you still have a few more hints left. Good luck. Oh and before I forget, since that happens sometimes, you have a match tonight. RICK What!? ABE It seems that due to contract disputes with The Shuffle the North American Title hasn't been defended in some time. So tonight I'm ordering Shuffle to step into the ring at least one more time to defend the NA Title in a unification match! We will unify the NA and X Titles tonight! *The fans cheer* RICK A chance at more gold? I'll take it, but don't make this a habit Abe! ABEI'll try, but I tend to pick up bad habits quite often. Like picking the lint out of my belly button! RICK I...didn't need to hear that. ABE I know! Good luck tonight kiddo! *Abe pats Rick on the shoulder before leaving. Rick looks pissed and disgusted as we fade out.* (Back to the arena)

(Cut to the arena) CABOOSE Waah Waah Waah! Stupid hoe! Cry me a river so I can piss in it! What’s next? Tell me exactly what am I supposed to do? Now that I have allowed you TO BEAT ME Do you think that we could play another game? Maybe I could win this time! I kinda like the misery you put me through Darling you can trust me COMPLETELY If you even try to look the other way I think that I could KILL this time… BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOOOOOOOOM!!! The crowd comes ALIVE as Axel's theme music hits the arena speakers! COLEDo you believe it?! It's AXEL! COACH I thought he was gone for good after last week, but here he is! The stage glows red as the arena spotlights focus on the top of the ramp, showing Axel doing his trademark crucifix pose, with his back to the fans. COLE Wait a minute... The fans cheer's die down as a murmur passes over the crowd...turning to absolute disgust as "Axel" turns to face the crowd...revealing himself to be... COLE That's not Axel! COACH That's...that's HOFF! CABOOSE AHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YES!!! I LOVE it! Hoff looks out over the crowd as "The Game" continues to play, a wide, toothy grin on his face. Dressed in his street clothes, the 24/7 Title belt on his shoulder, Hoff saunters down to the ring. COLE What a vile act by Hoff, masquerading as Axel just one week after the Thrillogy threw him from the stage in that casket... COACH Yeah, but as we all know, Axel wasn't inside! I was hoping for an explanation! CABOOSE If I were you, I'd hope for puberty, bitch boy. COACH Hey, I'm a man! I am! Wanna see? CABOOSE God, NO! Let's hear what Hoff has to say...not you. Hoff climbs the ring steps and enters the ring, raising his arms to soak in the boos. The camera pans the arena as Hoff walks to the timekeeper, showing various signs, including a "Welcome Back Northstar" sign in gold glitter, and a "COME BACK PANTHER" sign in big block letters. The camera also passes over two men in Mario Brothers masks, before cutting back to Hoff. He grabs a microphone from the timekeeper and heads to the center of the ring. HOFF Welcome...to my world. The fans let loose a chorus of jeers. COLE Aw, come on, that's Axel's catchphrase! CABOOSE What, is it copyrighted? COLE Yes! CABOOSE Aw, bollocks. It's Hoff's catchphrase now. HOFF You know what....scratch that weak line. Welcome...to the future. Hoff opens his leather jacket to reveal his brand new t-shirt, reading "The Future Is Now". CABOOSE Clever marketing! COACH Ooh, and a cool design too! Can I have one, huh 'Booze, can I can I? CABOOSE Maybe if you're a good boy. Cole eyes his partners warily as Hoff continues. HOFF Let's talk about the Bleeding Souls for a second, shall we? What is with these guys? I mean, this has to be the sorriest lot of losers walking the face of the Earth! I know they were big cheese in Bumwad, Michigan, but let's run down the facts, shall we? There's Axel, who my associates and I took care of last week. There's Gunner Sharps, who was a second-rate Hoff when we were in the Underground, and is pretty much a third-rate Hoff now. And AJ Flaire...I mean, come on. Not only did the man lose his title to an alcoholic -- and admittedly, a pretty talented one -- but his back is jello, and he thinks he can wrestle like this? Well, AJ Flaire better not get near me, because I'll snap him like a Slim Jim, isn't that right, Randy? "Macho Man" Randy Savage ducks out from behind the entranceway. MACHO OOOOOOOOOOOOOH YEAH!!!!!!!!!! Savage quickly disappears again. COLE Um...okay... Hoff laughs in the ring before continuing. HOFF So last week, I was successful in my first title defense. Rest assured, it won't be the last. But right now, I'd like to lay out a challenge to either one of those pissants in the back. AJ, Gunner, I bet you're pretty sore over what we did to your boy last week, so if you've got the balls for it, come on out here and we can settle the score mano a mano, babay~! Hoff tosses his 24/7 Title in the nearby corner and poses at the ready...and out dashes AJ Flaire with a steel chair in hand! The fans pop as Flaire sprints to the ring, but Hoff quickly slides out the opposite side of the ring! COACH Aw come on! Hoff, you wimp! CABOOSE Hey now, Coach... COLE Hoff said he's stand up man to man against AJ or Gunner, but now he's slid out of the ring! This isn't right! Come on, Hoff! AJ stares Hoff down from inside the ring, yelling "come on!" as the fans chant "you suck" in Hoff's general direction. Suddenly, the two men in Mario Brothers masks hop the guardrail. COLE What is this? COACH It's the Mario Brothers! Doo do doo do do, do do do, do do do... CABOOSE Oh, someone shoot me, please... COLE What are these men doing? Before security can move, the Bros. sneak into the ring. Mario positions himself behind AJ Flaire as Luigi calls out to him. AJ turns around... RIGHT INTO A SCHOOL'S OUT FROM MARIO!!! COLE Oh, no. CABOOSE OH YES!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!! I LOVE THIS NIGHT! Hoff smiles a sick grin as "Mario" rips his mask off, revealing himself as Zack Malibu. "Luigi" follows suit, and Calvin Szechstien smiles a huge, dark smile as he shakes his hair free. COLE Dammit, it was a setup! CABOOSE Oh, yes it was Cole, a brilliant one! COACH But...why are the Mario Brothers turning heel... Caboose slaps Coach upside 'da head as Zack and Calvin stomp away at AJ. Hoff, meanwhile, grabs a chair from ringside, sliding it into the ring and following suit. Hoff and Cal high-five as Zack picks AJ up off the mat. Zack holds one arm as Cal grabs the other, holding AJ so he faces the entryway...with his back to Hoff. COLE Oh, please don't tell me they're gonna do this to AJ Flaire... CABOOSE Hoff's gonna do exactly what he said, Cole! He's gonna snap AJ's back! Hoff picks up the chair and taps it on the ground, sizing up AJ's back. Hoff rears back, and... CRACK~ AJ cries out in pain as his body jolts from the impact! Zack and Cal hoist AJ up slightly as Hoff spits on the ground, eyeing up the small of AJ's back again. COLESomebody needs to stop this. This is not right, AJ's back is totally unprotected... CABOOSE That's why it's so great! COLE You're sick, you know that? CABOOSE Hey. If loving this is wrong, I don't want to be-- oh HERE IT COMES! CRACK~ AJ SCREAMS in pain as the chair connects with his lower spine. Hoff hoists the chair in the air, smiling triumphantly and laughing as Zack and Calvin join in the laughter. Hoff pulls the chair down again and rears back...but drops the chair as the fans begin to cheer! COLE Look who it is! COACH The cavalry! Malibu and Szechstien quickly drop AJ Flaire and all three Thrillogy members bail as Crystal, Sly Sommers, and Northstar storm the ring! The good guys slide into the ring as the Thrillogy heads away, laughing as they walk backwards up the entrance ramp! COLE Thank God for those three. CABOOSE Yeah, thanks for crashing the party. Crystal checks on AJ's back as Northstar leans against the ropes, jawing at the heels. Sly Sommers looks in the corner and picks up the 24/7 Title belt, holding it up over his head to the delight of the crowd. COLE Sly could well walk out of here with that belt tonight...oh, wait, what's this now... COACH Is AJ okay? Crystal leans up from AJ and calls to Northstar and Sly, who walk over to where she's hunched over AJ. Together, the three lift Flaire up off the mat and prop him up on their arms. COLE How resilient is AJ Flaire? I mean, he took a vicious assault to that damaged back and he STILL keeps going! COACH AJ's one tough motha, Cole. He can hang. The fans begin to chant "A-J, A-J," but the chant quickly turns to boos as Zack, Calvin, and Hoff raise each other's arms at the top of the ramp before heading to the back. COLE How can they be proud of themselves? How? CABOOSE Michael, look at the ring! These three men are DOMINANT, plain and simple. COLE Well, in any case, thank God that AJ looks to be okay... CABOOSE I wouldn't call walking with the help of three people "okay," Cole. Indeed, AJ is propped up by Crystal and Sly, with Northstar checking on his condition as they walk up the ramp. As the fan favorites head to the locker room, the arena gives them a standing ovation. COACH These fans are giving it up for AJ! And for my girl Crystal! And those other guys. COLE A standing ovation...well, we've gotten word that AJ will receive medical attention immediately, following that brutal assault by the Thrillogy. CABOOSE Bah, he's fine. No question. COLE Well, we'll hear what the DOCTORS have to say-- COACH But, I just don't get it, guys. COLE Get what? COACH What makes two honest plumbers from Brooklyn go bad? CABOOSE ...Ugh. COLE Folks, we've got more hD in three, so stay tuned! ***COMMERCIAL*** VOICE OVER Get your Hoff T-shirt today! A shot of Hoff wearing his new T-shirt. HOFF Be like me, or be a loser! AHAHAHAHA V.O. The Hoff "The Future Is Now" T-shirt, only $19.99 through this offer for a limited time! Get yours today! 1-555-4-OAOAST ***END COMMERCIAL*** (We return from break and are greeted to an upper body shot of that sexy stud muffin, Michael Buffer. Gimme that!) BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, Rey Mistero Jr. and Konnan -- Enhancement Talent! CABOOSE Poor guys -- well, Rey at least; couldn't care less for K-Dawg. COLE They'll be taking on a team who debuted last week by attacking the Global Party Xchange... CABOOSE Who were attacking -- unfairly, I might add -- the OAOAST tag team champions, Black T. I also must issue a humble agology to The Saints, particuarly Logan. Last week I mistakenly called him Joe Logan, but his real name is Logan "Cowabunga" Mann. Again, I apologize to The Saints. I blame it all on you, Michael Cole. You guys make me stupid sometimes. COLE Suuure. CABOOSE You want me to call Zack out? Cole keeps his mouth shut, as we send it back to Buffer. BUFFER Their opponents, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing a combined 470 pounds, the self-proclaimed Greatest Rock 'N' Wrestling Band of All-time, Logan "Cowabunga" Mann and Snyth Esizer -- The Saints! The hit 1980s single "Party All the Time" by Eddie Murphy rocks the arena, as muticolor spotlights follow GPX's new rivals, wearing a lavish robes consisting of Angel Wings and a Halo above their heads, struting towards the ring, fluffing their long locks. They enter the ring and bow on one knee, raising their arms in the air, sending sparklers off from the entranceway and pryo blasting from the ringposts. They remove their wings and halo, revealing sparkingly silver tights with matching suspenders. * DING DING DING * The Saints waste no time in their OAOAST in-ring debut, jumping Rey & K-Dawg. Konnan is quickly disposed outside, leaving Rey along to two hungrey wolves. Logan & Synth have a big grin on their faces as they club Rey Rey in the corner. Rey & Konnan -- Enhancement Talent -- have no chance whatsoever. The Saints place Rey's head under their arms -- PERCUSSION (double team DDT). Konnan reenters and gets nailed with a solo PERCUSSION by the hands of Synth. The covers... 1... 2... 3! * DING DING DING * CABOOSE Old school squash! An impressive one at that. COACH We didn't even have time to provide extensive commentary. Anyhoo, Michael Cole is headed to the ring to interview The Saints. All yours M.C. COLE Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen-- SYNTH Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, OAOAST. Yeah! COLE (CONT'D) I'm here with the team who ambushed the Global -- LOGAN Ambushed? We didn't ambush anybody, okay? What happened last week was months in the making. While me & Synth were rockin' sold out arenas across the world, we saw GPX get handed opportunity after opportunity. Then we get a phone call from a couple of friends, asking us to take care of some business. COLE Are you saying Black T paid you off to get rid of GPX? SYNTH Who said anything about Black T? Yeah, they're the tag champs, but we want those titles as much as anyone. It just so happens GPX are the number one ranked contenders, so beating them puts us... COLE Right at the top. SYNTH Very good. And people say you're stupid. Annoying? Yes. Stupid? Most, but not all the time. LOGAN As I was saying. So Synth & I take care of business. And Michael Cole, we scared off those party punks to the point they didn't even show up tonight. Or so we believe. The Saints spent most of tonight listening to our hit single "Suck Me, Fuck Me, Make It Ooze" off our 3rd CD "Flyin' With the 'Birds." There's three things we love: winning, our hair, and our music. We're gonna take care of GPX for Blac-- uh...we're going beat the hell outta GPX, and capture the gold. Because in the end that's all that matters. SYNTH This is for you, Cole. (Synth hands MC a small note) Open it after we go backstage. Conductor, kick it up a notch! "We're gonna, party all the time, party all the time..." The Saints strut all the way backstage to the sound of boos and chants of "GPX!" Once they no longer seen, Cole opens the note, rolling his eyes. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, The Saints have left the building. CABOOSE Boo! Encore! Encore! COACH Damn! I'm still amazed how they left the building so quickly. I mean, they just went backstage. CABOOSE Thank goodness I get paid good, cold American cash. Man, I love those Indians. You take their land, they take your money in casinos. Smart bastards. We're back after this. (Go to break)

(Return from break) ::Cut to Crystal in the locker room area, in front of a monitor.:: CRYSTAL (staring at the screen before her, remote control in hand): “I just don’t get it.” ::The cameraman zooms into the screen to show what Crystal is talking about. The tape is rewound and plays again, showing last week’s events of Axel disappearance. Crystal pauses the screen on the shattered coffin that is Axel-less and throws the remote down in frustration, rubbing her temples.:: CRYSTAL (talking to no one in particular): “If he wasn’t in the coffin, where the hell was he?” VOICE: “Crystal, don’t kill yourself worrying.” ::Crystal turns around and AJ comes into the camera shot.:: AJ: “You know how Axel is. If he goes down, he’ll go down in fashion. He put of quite a show last though, huh?” CRYSTAL (smirking slightly): “That he did. You’re right. If Axel wasn’t in the coffin, he’s alright I guess.” AJ: “Man, it’s so weird that we would be concerned for Axel, when just two months ago… CRYSTAL: “Things change. A few betrayals here and there, and your allies and friends change.” AJ (realizing his mistake): “Oh man, sorry I brought that up Crys.” CRYSTAL (smiling bitterly): “Yeah, well trust is a bit of a touchy topic for me, I guess. But alas, I don’t have a choice with the Wargames coming up. Trust is all our team has.” AJ (hesitantly): “About our team…how can we trust Sly?” CRYSTAL: “What?” AJ: “Come on Crystal, it IS Sly. I know you’ve been buddy-buddy with him lately, but I still don’t really trust the guy, and neither do a lot of the boys. I mean, look at the stuff he’s done in the past! Even the things he’s pulled on you in the past! He’s a snake in the grass! He’s….” ::AJ’s interrupted when Crystal pushes him against the near wall.:: CRYSTAL: “Shut up AJ! Don’t you dare talk about distrust within this team. We have to trust Sly! Do you really think that after all the crap the Thrillogy has put him through, he would turn his back on us? We have to have each other’s backs, or else we’re done. Wake up AJ! We need everything we can get!” AJ (pushing Crystal off him): “Okay, okay! I get it! Christ almighty…” ::Both are staring at each other when Sly, unaware of the tension, comes in.:: SLY: “Hey guys, what’s up?” CRYSTAL (smiling): “Hey Sly. Listen, I got to go get ready for my match. AJ, think about what I said.” SLY: “Need any backup?” CRYSTAL: “Nah, I should be fine.” ::Fade to black:: (We’re taken from a pitch black screen to a video) (Earlier this week) (We open on a scene outside a rundown building with a sign that reads, “Green Street Homeless Shelter.” Outside Rick Edwards pauses to look at a small piece of paper and then looks at the sign. He gets a look of worry on his face before stepping through the door. Inside Rick sees a blonde woman serving soup to some homeless people and walks over to her.) RICK Are you Leah Blackstone? LEAH Yes I am. Who are…oh wait I know who you are and why you’re here. RICK You do? LEAH I watch OAOAST Programming. I’m not giving into your Boss’ demands! RICK You’re going to lose this case. LEAH Is that a threat? RICK No it’s a promise. You can’t win against us. We have the best lawyers in the world. I’m here today to offer you $100,000 to drop this case. LEAH I don’t want your money! RICK You could fix this place up with this money! You could offer more food and take care of more people! Just drop the damn case. LEAH The people I am suing tried to spread lies about my Father who owns this shelter in order to have us shut down. They wanted to tear down this building and build God knows what! RICK If you don’t back off we will win and your precious shelter will be closed down anyway! LEAH When did you become such an asshole? I remember when… RICK Shut the hell up! I’m sick of people acting like they know me! That’s what you were about to say wasn’t it? You were going to say that I used to be a great man and you were a big fan! Well this is the real me, so get used to it!! LEAH I used to have a crush on you. I used to watch you on TV and think you were hot stuff. I even sent you a get well card when you were in the hospital. Yeah you can call me an obsessed fan, but as you can tell I don’t have a lot in my life. Now I see the real you and I feel ashamed for ever liking you! RICK That card was from you? I didn’t recognize the name so I threw it out. *Leah looks crushed* RICK What are you, some 12 year old girl dreaming about how you were going to marry me someday? LEAH I’m 23. My father is all I have left besides this shelter. I just wanted to reach out to something and you seemed like a genuine person. RICK Ha…haha…hahahahaha!! You’re pathetic! Drop this case or you really won’t have anything left! (Rick shakes his head before walking out the door. Leah bursts into tears as he leaves.)

I'm the posting show.

Well......

Sly's opening segment was nice and saved me two minutes worth of work. What did ya'll think of the show?

No, you were not worked. When I sent you that message, I was considering coming back. Earlier today, I facetiously told Zack I was coming back next week, then he responded by saying that he was bringing me back this week, and I said "Okay!"

The arena lights go out as one red spotlight focuses on the entrance way. Suddenly, two men in black robes appear at the top of the ramp with Axel’s casket. They wheel it down the ramp, and then leave it beside the ring, before leaving via the crowd. CABOOSE Now what the hell is that? This is undue pressure on Hoff! COLE This is scary guys; we’ve never seen Axel like this, ever. He really wants to defeat Hoff, and put him in that casket. COACH Axel is dangerous right now, he’s almost psychotic! No one knows what he is capable of! CUE: ‘Black’ by Sevendust The lights go out as the crowd begins to give its opinion of the newest member of the Thrillogy, Hoff. Hoff walks out to the top of the ramp, and looks around at the crowd with a half smile on his face, and almost a nervous stare at the coffin. COLE Hoff seems to be relishing in the boos of these fans, but as soon as he looked at that coffin, his expression changed to one of almost fear! CABOOSE Hoff isn’t scared Michael Cole, he is putting on a show for these fans, you just watch, Hoff will win this match, and retain his Twenty-Four Seven Championship. COACH Axel is a man on a mission in this one though guys, he said he will stop at nothing to vanquish the Thrillogy one by one, and he is starting with Hoff tonight. Hoff walks down the ramp slowly and walks around the coffin, before sliding into the ring and looking at the coffin again. BUFFER The Following contest, scheduled for one fall is for the OAOAST Twenty-Four Seven Championship! Introducing first, representing the Thrillogy, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in tonight at two hundred seventy-five pounds, he is the reigning and defending OAOAST Twenty-Four Seven Champion, HOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!! CABOOSE It’s mind games Michael Cole, and Hoff has to realise that. Axel is playing mind games with the Twenty-Four Seven Champion, and Hoff has swallowed them hook line and sinker tonight. He has to regroup and realise that through all of this crap, Axel is still the exact same normal guy that he was last week. COLE You’re right Caboose, Hoff has fallen for Axel’s mind games, and Axel has the advantage going into this match up. But then again guys, I think Hoff has the advantage by numbers, because we all know that Zack and Calvin want Axel out of their business, because the Dark One is beginning to prove a thorn in their side as of late. COACH Yeah, it’s no secret that Zack and Calvin want Axel out so they can be one step further to taking over this entire company! Hoff stand in the corner, hands on hips, and belt around his waist, before the referee comes over to him to grab the gold. ‘Black’ fades down, and the crowd start to stir. COLE Axel has been in a completely different persona tonight, perhaps darker than we have ever seen him, and that is no mean feat. Suddenly, the lights go OUT! The crowd pops! COACH I’m scared guys! BOOM! Two small pyro blasts go off on either side of the top of the entrance ramp! The pyro dies down, and it leaves two flaming staffs on either side of the ramp! BOOM! Another pyro blast, and another two flaming staffs, this time further down the ramp! BOOM! Another two staffs burning, further down! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Three more! The entrance ramp is now lined with fire! CABOOSE Now what the hell is this? COLE It’s a message, a message from the dark one! CUE ‘The Game’ by Disturbed The fans POP as Axel’s theme starts up. The lights are still off, and the flames on either side of the entrance ramp are burning brightly. Tell me exactly what am I supposed to do? Now that I have allowed you TO BEAT ME Do you think that we could play another game? Maybe I could win this time! I kinda like the misery you put me through Darling you can trust me COMPLETELY If you even try to look the other way I think that I could KILL this time… BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM~!~! A single, big pyro blast goes off at the top of the ramp, as the fans pop loudly. The fires on either side of the ramp get higher, and AXEL~! Appears at the top of the ramp, as a silhouette, as the lights are still off. One small light shines on The Dark One, as he strikes the crucifix pose at the top of the ramp, before starting to walk down slowly. Axel is in his traditional entrance attire of long black leather coat, and his match attire of red leather pants with Black ‘X’s on each side, and Black singlet top with red trim, with ‘FEEL THE PAIN’ on the back in red writing. COLE The atmosphere is electric! Axel methodically makes his way down the ramp, with fire burning brightly on either side of him. He stops at the bottom of the ramp, in front of the last set of flames. He looks at the coffin, and then at Hoff, before rolling his eyes up into the back of his head. Axel strikes the crucifix pose quickly, and BOOM~! The flames fire up one more time, before going out completely. The lights go up, and Axel takes off his jacket, before laying it on the coffin. He steps up onto the ring apron and steps into the ring. Axel doesn’t take his eyes off the Twenty-Four Seven Champion! COLE More mind games from Axel here. The fire, the crucifix posing, the coffin, its all to get Hoff off his game, and I think it may have worked. CABOOSE Nah, Hoff knows what Axel is doing. I’m sure Zack and Calvin have told him exactly what Axel is capable of, what his game plan will be. Axel walks right up to Hoff, so that the two men are face to face. Referee Craig Burgess tries to show Axel the belt, but his eyes are locked on Hoff, and vice versa. Burgess gives up, and gives the belt to the timekeeper. ‘The Game’ dies down, and the fans wait for someone to make the first move. COACH The fans are ready, the referee is ready, and we are ready for this Twenty-Four Seven Championship slobberknocker! COLE You aren’t JR; you never will be JR, so stop trying. COACH OK. Hoff starts talking trash to Axel, but Axel’s expression doesn’t change. Hoff starts to get frustrated at this, and takes a step back… …before connecting with a hard right to the temple of Axel! Axel fries back straight away with a right of his own! Hoff fires back! Axel fires back! Right hand by Hoff again! Axel returns the favour! Hoff punches, Axel punches, they won’t back down! COLE These men are beating the crap out of each other! Axel connects again with a right hand to Hoff’s temple! Hoff goes for a clothesline, Axel ducks under! Kick to the stomach by Axel, and another right hand! Hoff comes back with a right! Axel! Hoff! Axel! Hoff! Axel goes for a right hand, this time Hoff ducks under! Axel turns around, and into a right hand from Hoff! Axle fires back again! Hoff connects with a kick to the stomach, and then a right hand! Another boot by Hoff, and another right hand! Hoff goes for another clothesline, but he just can’t connect! Axel ducks under, Hoff turns around, and runs into a vicious knife edged chop! Hoff comes back with a chop of his own! Axel with a chop! Hoff with a chop! Kick to the midsection by Axel, and a vicious uppercut that sends Hoff staggering backwards! Axel comes off the ropes and charges at Hoff, Hoff tries to pick him up for a Spinebuster, Axel goes behind, Axel lifts Hoff up for an Axel Slam, Hoff slips off, Axel turns around to face Hoff, boot to the midsection by Hoff, Irish Whip by Hoff, Axel runs to the ropes, axel ducks under a clothesline, runs to the other side, and takes Hoff down with a spear! Axel connects with hard right hands to the face of Hoff! COACH There is genuine hatred here guys! These two will stop at nothing to beat the other down! Hoff shifts his weight and turns Axel over, and starts laying in heavy punches to the temple! Axel pushes Hoff off of him, Hoff gets up straight away, as does Axel, they run at each other, both men go for a clothesline, and both men go down! CABOOSE I guess we could call that a stalemate. Axel and Hoff get up at around the same time, Hoff walks toward Axel, Axel catches him with a boot to the stomach and a front face lock, Axel tries a vertical suplex, Hoff blocks it, Hoff tries a suplex, Axel blocks it, punches to the stomach by Axel, and he lifts, Hoff over for a vertical suplex, but Hoff floats over and lands behind him! Axel turns around, Hoff tries for a Rock Bottom, Axel connects with an elbow to the head, followed by another, and another that sends Hoff staggering backwards. Hoff turns around and right into a vicious uppercut by Axel! Hoff stumbles back to the ropes, Axel runs at Hoff, and hits a Cactus Jack clothesline that sends both men crashing outside the ring! COLE The action has spilled to the outside! Axel grabs Hoff as he gets up in a front face lock, but Hoff charges forward and rams Axel into the barricade! Hoff backs up and runs at Axel, but Axel ducks and sends Hoff flying into the crowd with a back body drop! Axel measures Hoff and Hoff slowly gets up, Axel springboards onto the barricade and flies off for a clothesline, but Hoff buries a right hand into the gut, which stops Axel dead in his tracks! Hoff starts again with the hard right hands, and Axel fires back with a right of his own! The two men trade punches yet again, and then start to brawl through the crowd! COACH You can get up close and personal with the action here on HeldDown! Hoff tries a right hand, Axel blocks, and connects with a hard uppercut, that sends Hoff flying to ground! Axel goes for a cover! One… No! Hoff kicks out! Axel picks Hoff up, and locks in a front face lock. Axel tries to lift Hoff up for a vertical suplex; Hoff blocks and connects with a knee to the gut, and lifts Axel over for a suplex on the concrete! Hoff poses to the crowd to a chorus of boos! COLE Wow, that’s gotta take a lot out of a guy. COACH Hoff is just so cocky now; he is in the most incredible group we have ever seen in this company, and he is the Twenty-Four Seven Champion. He’s on a roll, and he might have the win here! Hoff goes for a cover! ONE… TWO… NO! Axel kicks out! COLE Axel had trouble kicking out of that pinfall attempt! It’s got to wreak havoc on a guy’s back to be suplexed on a concrete floor! CABOOSE Hoff is showing his guts, his determination here tonight. Both these men are showing what brought them to the dance. It’s been very even early, and all this brawling just shows how much these men hate each other. Hoff grabs Axel by the head and leads him through the crowd back to the barricade. Hoff tries to drive Axel’s head into the barricade, but Axel blocks it and elbows Hoff in the temple! Hoff staggers back; Axel goes to meet him, grabs Hoff by the hair and LAUNCHES him over the guardrail! Axel looks at Hoff while he is still down and springboards off the guardrail yet again, this time connecting with a leg drop to the throat of Hoff! COLE What a leg drop! Axel may have broken his tailbone! Cover by Axel on the outside! ONE… COLE Hook of the leg! TWO… NO! Hoff kicks out again! COLE Hoff kicked out! This match continues! CABOOSE Good resiliency by Hoff, he wants to keep his hands on his Championship, and I, for one, think he’s going to do it. Axel picks Hoff up and connects with a knee to the gut, before grabbing his left arm. Axel tries to Irish whip Hoff into the steel steps but Hoff reverses and Axel goes KNEES FIRST~! (© Mick Foley) into the steel, landing after a flip in mid air! Hoff smiles wickedly, and walks over to the now incapacitated Axel. He lifts Axel to his feet and drags him over to the guardrail by the hair, before pressing him up and dropping him down chest first across the guardrail! Hoff takes Axel over to the casket, and smashes his head against its wooden lid! CABOOSE Here we go guys, just sit back and watch a master at work. COLE The signs are looking bleak for Axel! Hoff grabs Axel again and lifts him up in a Gut Buster position. Hoff charges and drives Axel’s back into the steel ring post! Axel shouts in pain, before Hoff rolls him back into the ring. Hoff steps back into the ring, and delivers a straight stomp to Axel’s prone anatomy. Hoff comes off the ropes and delivers an elbow drop to Axel’s chest. Hoff stays down for the cover, but no hook of the leg… ONE… TWOOO… NO! Axel kicks out! Hoff lifts Axel to his feet again, before slyly smiling at him. Hoff grabs Axels left arm and Irish whips him, before reversing the whip himself and catching Axel with a short arm clothesline! Then Hoff starts flexing and posing to the crowd, who shower him with boos! COLE Hoff is in complete control! We’ve got to take our last commercial break ladies and gentlemen; we’ll be back after this! *COMMERCIAL* *BACK FROM COMMERCIAL* We return from a commercial to see Hoff with a sleeper hold on Axel in the centre of the ring, with the crowd starting a small ‘Ax-el’ chant. COACH Welcome back! No more commercial breaks will be taken! We will stay with you until the conclusion of this match! COLE Hoff is still in complete control of this match up! Just look at what happened during the break! *HeldDown logo flashes over screen* We seen Hoff wait for Axel to get up, Axel turns around and runs at Hoff… … Who catches Axel and gives him a vicious Overhead Belly to Belly suplex! COLE Beautiful suplex by Hoff and Axel is in big trouble right here. *HeldDown logo flashes over the screen again and Axel is trying to fight out of the sleeper* Referee Craig Burgess goes over to Axel, who is clearly fading fast, and asks him if he gives up, to which Axel replies with a gasp of ‘NO!’ The referee grabs Axel’s left arm and lifts it up in the air before letting it and… IT DROPS! The referee grabs Axel’s arm again and lifts it up, before letting it go again… IT DROPS! CABOOSE Axel’s done, there’s no way… COLE Axel’s arm only as to drop one more time! The referee grabs Axel’s arm a third and final time, before lifting it into the air. The referee lets go of the arm and… … IT DROPS!! … NO! IT STAYS UP! COACH Yes! Axel’s still alive! CABOOSE Not for long guys, he can’t get out of this… Axel gets a rush of adrenaline! Axel gets to one knee, and Hoff tries to apply more pressure, but Axel gets to one leg! Axel gets to both feet! Hoff tries to lock the sleeper in tighter, but its no use! Axel with an elbow to the gut, and another, and a third, Hoff goes staggering back, Hoff tries a clothesline, Axel ducks under, and hooks Hoff up, flashes half a crucifix pose and drops him down for an Evenflow DDT~! COLE Hoff just got dropped on his head! COACH What a stiff DDT! Both men are down! Axel crawls over and lays one arm over Hoff for the cover! The referee counts, and the crowd chant along with him! CABOOSE No! Not like this! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… THREEEEEEEEEEEEENO!!! Hoff just kicks out! CABOOSE YES! COLE Hoff just kicked out! COACH Axel can’t believe it! Axel slowly makes it to his feet and Hoff starts to do the same. They both turn around to face each other and Axel fires first with a right hand. Hoff fires straight back with one of his own. Axel fires back, Hoff fires back; Axel fires three quick punches in a row and sends Hoff for an Irish whip. Hoff comes off the ropes, and Axel catches him with a SPNEBUSTAH~! COLE Axel showing Hoff how it’s done! CABOOSE Hoff’s version is better. Axel signals for the end, and reaches down to grab Hoff’s left leg! Hoff grabs Axel by the hair and pulls him down for an inside cradle! COLE Inside cradle! Inside cradle! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO! Axel kicks out! Axel and Hoff get up at the same time and run at each other. Axel tries a clothesline, Hoff ducks under, goes behind, and delivers a back suplex to Axel! COLE Beautiful suplex by Hoff! Hoff points to the sky and ascends the turnbuckles! COACH Hoff taking a risk here! CABOOSE He’d better be careful! Hoff goes up to the top turnbuckle and jumps off before connecting with an Elbow Drop! Hoff goes for the cover! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… CABOOSE He’s got him! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENOYESNO!!!! Axel kicks out!! COLE Axel kicked out at the very last second!! Hoff can’t believe it as he asks the referee if he’s sure that was two. Hoff grabs Axel and pulls him to his feet before signalling to the crowd that he was ending the match! CABOOSE That’s it, Axel’s done. Hoff sets up Axel or a Rock Bottom! Axel comes alive! Axel connects with three stiff elbows to the side of Hoff’s head, sending Hoff staggering back! COLE Here we go! Hoff turns around to face Axel, Axel lifts him onto his shoulders and hits a DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! COACH STREWTH~! CABOOSE What, you’re Australian now? COLE Axel’s got him! ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… TWOOOOOOO AND A HALFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF… TWOOOOOOO AND SEVEN EIGHTTHS!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Hoff kicks out AT THE LAST MOMENT! CABOOSE Oh thank god! Axel gets up and strikes the crucifix pose to the crowd before waiting for Hoff to get up! Axel smiles a wicked, evil smile! COLE Axel Slam coming up! COACH Yeah – wait a minute! ZACK AND CAL~! Start to come down to the ring! Axel can’t see either of them! CABOOSE Here comes the cavalry! COLE Oh no! Axel watch out! Axel grabs Hoff and lifts him up for an Axel Slam as Zack and Cal come into the ring! Axel turns around and Hoff slides off the back of Axel and pushes him into… SCHOOL’S OUT~! By Zack Malibu! COLE Dammit! CABOOSE That’ll dim your lights! Axel goes down, holding his chin! Zack and Calvin pull his body up as Hoff gets to his feet! Zack and Calvin set up Axel and double Irish Whip him into off, who delivers an earth-shattering SPINEBUSTER! COACH What impact! Hoff looks down at Axel and shouts ‘That’s how you do it, BITCH!’ before grabbing him again and setting him up for a Powerbomb. COLE Oh no, not this! You’ve done enough! Hoff lifts Axel up for a Powerbomb, swings his legs down off his shoulders, and drives him into the mat with the H-BOMB! Hoff smiles at Axel before covering him, with Zack and Cal standing over the referee, making him count the pinfall. ONE!!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!!! COLE Dammit! *DING DING DING* Cue: ‘Black’ by Sevendust BUFFER Here is your winner and still OAOAST Twenty-Four Seven Champion, HOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFF!!! COACH Look at this, like a pack of dogs! The Thrillogy drag Axel’s lifeless body to its feet, before Hoff shoves Axel into Zack, and Calvin goes up to the top rope. Zack lifts Axel up for the POP Drop, and smashes him down to the mat! Calvin gets to the top rope and comes off with a 450 SPLASH to Axel’s prone anatomy! COLE Axel has taken so much punishment, that’s enough! The Thrillogy look at each other and go to the centre of the ring, before raising their arms as one to the distain of the crowd. They then look at Axel again, and decide they aren’t done. Calvin and Hoff pick Axel back up again as Zack climbs out of the ring. COLE Oh, they can’t do this! Zack opens the casket lid, and Calvin and Hoff throw Axel inside before shutting it down! Hoff stands on the lid and does a muscle pose, with the crowd continuing to boo heavily. Hoff jumps off the casket and The Thrillogy members look at each other again. The look at the casket, and then grab, it before starting to wheel it up the ramp! COACH What the hell are they doing? CABOOSE Easy, getting rid of the competition. The Thrillogy wheel the casket up to the top of the ramp, before looking at the floor below! All three members grab the casket, and heave it up onto their shoulders! COLE This is not right! Don’t worry about a guy’s career; this could end a guy’s life! COACH I agree Michael! Stop this! Please for the love of god stop! CABOOSE They’re the most dominant group of all time, you can’t stop them. Zack, Calvin and Hoff walk over to the side of the ramp, looking at the concrete floor below! They lift the casket high into the air, and then launch it off the entrance ramp! COLE NO! The casket flies off the ramp, and Smashes into a hundred pieces… CABOOSE What? …BUT AXEL ISN’T INSIDE! The crowd pop! The Thrillogy can’t believe it! COLE Where the hell did he go? Suddenly, the top two flaming staffs are set off again, and their fire begins burning! The Thrillogy can’t believe what happening! CABOOSE WO! COACH That’s all the time we have folks! Where the hell did Axel go? COLE I have no idea! What the hell is going on! Axel has disappeared into thin air... CABOOSE And so must we. Good night! *END OF SHOW*

Our show opens for the week as we see Colvid and Sly Sommers come into the building, each carrying their luggage. Out of nowhere, a really nice drop-top Ferrari speeds into the parking lot and drives towards Sly and Colvid. Sly jumps out of the way at the last second, but the Ferrari ends up clipping Colvid, causing him to flip and come down on the cold concrete chest-first. All of a sudden, the doors to the car open, and out come Calvin Szechstein, Candie, and Zack Malibu from the Thrillogy. Calvin unlocks the trunk and lets Hoff out. Szechstein then starts stomping away at Sly as Zack and Hoff pick the battered and broken Colvid up, and place his head and neck on the edge of the trunk. Zack then repeatedly slams the trunk door down on Colvid's neck. They then shove him in the trunk. ZACK I hope you're not claustrophobic. If so, too damn bad! All three male Thrillogy members then grab onto Sly and toss him into the fencing on the wall of the parking lot! Hoff and Calvin then lift him, as Zack directs them to the ring. ZACK Hoff and Calvin...take Sly to the ring. Candie, stay in the car and make sure Colvid doesn't get out. (Looks into camera) Oh, and welcome to HeldDOWN~! OAOAST HeldDOWN~! "Trust me" by Lucy Woodward plays as we SEE THE LOGO~ After the abrupt opening, we see Sly Sommers rolling down the aisle to the ring, bleeding and with his shirt ripped. We then see all three Thrillogy members following him down to the ring. Hoff gets in a cheap shot by running up to Sly and kicking him in the ribs. When they reach the ring, Calvin pulls Sly to his feet and tosses him into the ring. COACH This is uncalled for! Zack Malibu grabs a chair as Calvin and Hoff enter the ring, stomping away at the beaten-down Sommers. Malibu then slides the chair into the ring, and Hoff grabs it. Zack climbs into the ring, as Hoff chokes away at Sly with the chair. Zack has a microphone. MALIBU Tonight is supposed to be a celebration...a celebration on the dawn of a new era. In the past seven days, the Thrillogy has both formed and dominated a entire Pay-Per-View event. What other stables in the history of this business could say they've done that. That's right...NONE! What do I see as we pull into the parking lot? That's right, (bleep)bag pieces of crap. Now... He stops mid-rant, as Crystal comes out in her street clothes and tries to save Sly. She gets in two forearms on Cal to send him flying back, and dropkicks the chair into Hoff's face. All Thrillogy members but Malibu are down. Crystal sets her sights on Zack and charges at him. But right before she gets to him, Calvin Szechstein tackles and holds her down. Zack stomps away at Crystal. Hoff gets up a few seconds later, and holds her down by pushing down on her throat with the edge of the chair. MC We need some help out here! Help soon comes, as Axel, Gunner Sharps, and AJ Flaire come out to the ring together, all armed with chairs. COACH What's this? Axel knocks Hoff out with his chair, as Calvin and Zack bail out of the ring. Cal sneaks his arms in when they aren't looking and pulls Hoff out of the ring. Security comes out to keep everyone seperated, as DOA Abe Vigoda arrives on the big screen, live from his office. ABE Hey, all of you! I cannot have any of this crap on my TV show! Tonight, it finishes before this Thrillogy crap goes too far! Hoff, you're defending the 24/7 Belt, in which you stole from Crystal, against Axel! (crowd applauds) Calvin, I know you have a match tonight in which to keep you occupied. Zack...you better stay in line. CABOOSE Or what? You're gonna cane him, you old fart! Ha ha ha! ABE I also want to inform everyone out there that you're all involved in the main event at our annual June spectacular, the Great Angle Bash, on June 27th. I have a match in mind, and I was going to reveal it to the entire world tonight! But your selfish behavior is forcing me to hold back this big news until next week. All I will tell you is that both sides HAVE to have four members, so Thrillogy; you guys need to consult a fourth member. (Calvin mouths "I got your other member right here!" and sarcastically grabs himself.) ABE Bleeding Souls, Sly, Crystal...first off, come up with a better name than "Bleeding Souls, Sly and Crystal". Second, you guys have to downsize a bit for the match, since I won't allow all of you in this contest. With that being said, if you all don't go back to the locker room in an orderly fashion, you're ALL suspended without pay! The numerous security officials then forcefully assist all eight wrestlers to the locker room. MC What a beginning to this program! This Thrillogy thing's already exploded, and an uprising has begun! CABOOSE Let's look at that word, "uprising"...it means that they're rising from below. Well, this group of misfits BELONGS to be below such amazing athletes and men as the Thrillogy! COACH The one thing I'm wondering after that is what match does Abe Vigoda have concocted for these men that requires eight men and will apparantly bring this war to a fever pitch? MC I'm also wondering if Colvid's even alive after what happened in the parking lot. THAT, my friends, was low. CABOOSE Hey, he was walking around in a parking lot and didn't watch where he was going! The moron deserved what was coming! COACH Whatever...let's move on to what we have to expect for tonight! MC You mean commercials? COACH Ah sweet glorious commercials. Is there anything better then seeing the same beer commercial eight times in one night? I think not! (Go to break) (Return from break) "Turn the mic up!” On television screens worldwide, the black pause in between commercial and program melts into a brightening view of inside OAOAST arena, centered on the ring, filled with trash as fans are still throwing whatever they can at the man in the middle, one Stephen Joseph. “I said turn the damn mic up!” Cole Fans, Stephen Joseph walked out to the ring not minutes before the show was scheduled to go on with a Puerto Rican Title Match! Coach Obviously, Stephen is wasting little time. Perhaps he’ll explain his alliance with Tha Puerto Rican! Caboose Or he’ll announce the return of the Deadly Alliance. ::Whacks Coach upside the head:: Thanks Captain Obvious. Cole Stephen Joseph finally satisfied with the microphone volume. Will we be able to hear him over this crowd? Stephen Joseph Hey, hey hey! I trust you all enjoyed last night’s Pay-Per-View! How about that team of Black T eh? (Crowd: BOO!) I knew they’d sock it to those GPX wannabes. Face it, if one team with glowsticks can’t win the titles no so-called party team will. Do you people forget that Dan Black was one half of the greatest tag team of all-time, the Mystery Weirdness Connection? Or that T-Bod is a LEGEND?! But I’m not out here for them today…no, there’s something much more important on my mind. Mad Cappa, will you please come out to the ring? Cole Popick’s calling out Mad Cappa! Coach Definitely has something to do with TPR Caboose Dork. “Let me Clear My Throat” hits and The Mad Cappa bounces out onto the stage, PR title glistening of fresh polish after last night’s defense. For a moment, the fans forget Stephen Joseph and cheer for Cappa, who walks down carrying an American Flag and slapping fan’s hands down the ramp. He gives the flag to a little kid and launches himself into the ring, posing with the PR Title held high. He turns around and motions for a mic, thrown in from the side. Cappa Yo Popick. What’s up with you and TPR man? I thought you and I were crew! Right people? Crowd Yeah! Stephen Joseph Cappa. Congrats on a good title defense. You’ve worn the belt proudly and defended it like a champ. That’s not empty praise. I called you out to explain last night. Obviously, you didn’t know. No one did. If people did know, this entire plan would’ve been canned. But the cat’s out of the bag now, and no one can stop it. Hell, it had people talking last night. People felt I overstepped my bounds. C’mon people, you know me better than that. I always overstep the boundaries. That’s why you LOVE me. Cappa But why Stephen? Stephen Joseph Cappa, let me ask you a question. What were your feuds and matches like before you met up with TPR? Crap right? Cappa I wouldn’t say that…(head hangs down) Stephen Joseph But they weren’t anything like last night were they, or like at AngleMania? Cappa No. They were openers. Stephen Joseph You see Cappa, you owe TPR for giving you a lift up. That doesn’t take away from the fact that you beat him, you took his title, you stood up. But if TPR had chosen someone else to fight, would you be here today the PR Champion? Would you have had the best match at AngleMania 3, our greatest showcase? If it weren’t for TPR being a complete jerk, would you have gotten the Angle for Best Feud? Cappa, I want you to think about who’s here first in the morning for training. Who’s first in the library watching tapes. Who’s first in the staff meeting with suggestions. It’s Tha Puerto Rican man! And you know it. There’s no one more dedicated here than him. And yet he can’t get a title shot, a real one. Did you hear what Zack said last night after the show? Cappa Yeah, I heard. He said TPR would get a shot on HeldDown. Stephen Joseph On HeldDown? Shit man, who do you think would win that? Zack defends his belt against his friends or girls who cyber him up. He brings in people from the S.W.F (on that, the crowd does boo) and now runs with them. Remember Evenflow, or Edward Robbins. Zack sure tossed him aside didn’t he? I didn’t. I still talk with Edward. He played all of us politically, brought and bought his allies, and now he thinks he controls the title. I do NOT like being upstaged at my own game. I used to control who got the shots! Tony used to control it! Did we let others have shots…YES! Does anyone outside of Zack’s circle get a real shot? Not for a year at least. Cappa, you think you’ll ever get a shot at the World Title? Cappa No. Stephen Joseph Do you deserve one? Cappa Yes. Stephen Joseph Of course you do! You’re a champion right now. How many are there? 4? You’re the fucking man, and I will always have your back for that one “special” reason. You remember what I told you two months ago right? Good. THAT’s why I helped TPR. I will not let the special interests of the champion deny to the fans and to the OAOAST as a whole the best champions it can get. And TPR has torn down the house repeatedly, and he would make one HELL of a champion. Remember, you’re intense. Cappa I still don’t feel good about it. Stephen Joseph I’ve got to do what’s right. Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t deserve a throwaway title shot on HeldDown just because they’ve already planned who gets the next shot! You give the fans what they want, you give the fans the best match you can, you just don’t push your friends. Look, Cappa, I can sympathize with TPR. Like him, I busted my ass. Like him, I was ridiculed and made fun of. You didn’t know this, but we used to have meetings at the Grand Crystal Flamingo where all the big boys would laugh and share shit TPR was saying. We’d fucking laugh at one of our most committed boys! How the fuck do you think I feel knowing that I was one of those? Like him or hate him, he deserves a chance to prove his worth…just like you do. Right now though, you’ve got a title to defense and a legacy to carry. And I’ve got to bring my case week in and week out until TPR gets his deserved shot…no matter how long it takes. Cappa Is that what this is about? Stephen Joseph It’s always been about the legacy. And these people are going to find out more, because people like you, TPR, and myself…and others have been held down far to long. It’s time for people who deserve shit to get … Dan Black (from ramp) Excuse me, but don’t you think me and T-Bod deserve something? How about some opponents? We’re the tag team champions, we’ve beaten GPX twice. That’s through as far as I can care. What about else Stephen…or are you done with us? Stephen Joseph Dan, you’ve far deserved better that you’ve gotten. What do you deserve. We’ll get you some opponents, and we will get you what you deserve. You remember the legacy too. T-Bod I remember Stephen. Remember, YOU didn’t return our messages this week. But we’re wary of trusting you. Cappa So am I Stephen Joseph Then let my actions speak for me. I’ll be back a week, and I’m going to announce on hell of a match at MY PPV in July. And that’s when the chumps out here, and the champ in the back, will learn you don’t screw people who are deserving. Fuck Me? Fuck You! (echo, partially from crowd [fuck you])

We return to the arena with Guns 'N Roses "Welcome to the Jungle" blaring throughout the arena. Standing in the ring is none other than the man who tells it like it is, former wrestler, commentator, Minnesota Governor, and your 44th President of the United States of America, Jesse "The Body" Ventura. JESSE Welcome to the return of The Body Shop. I'm your host Jesse "The Body" Ventura. It's been a long time since I've last appeared on HeldDown, and an even longer time since I've appeared at an OAOAST event since the closure of IZ. Since then a lot of things have gone down. A woman is challenging for the World's title, and my personal favorite OAOAST superstar is now one-half of the tag team champions. Now I may not have gotten along with Dan Black in the past, rest assured, any friend of T-Bod is a friend of mine. Ladies and gents, would you please welcome the OAOAST Tag Team Champions, followed to the ring by the Farmer of Champions, Dan Black, T-Bod -- Black T! "Quiet" hits to the disapproval of the crowd. They believe BT are still lucky to be walking around with the gold after their match against GPX at School's Out: Class Dismissed. T-Bod & Jesse embrace like family members who haven't seen each other in years. Dan Black & Jivin' J.R., two past opponents of Ventura's, casually make eye contact with The Body. They aren't exactly thrilled to see him, but they'll do their best to put the past aside for T-Bod. JESSE T-Bod, congratulations. It's 'bout time you're walking around with some gold. And I must say, you look even better than before. T-BOD Thank you very much, Jesse. Yo, bitches! It feels damn good to finally be reward for all the crap I've put up with throughout my tenure with the OAOAST. Dan & I are very proud to be the keepers of the tag team championship, but we're also upset with the lack of competition. Jesse, as a straightshooter, let me ask you a question. JESSE By all means. Please. T-BOD Have we not beaten the Global Party Xchange twice now? JESSE You have. T-BOD Have we not fulfilled the rematch clause in the contract that all the teams involved in the tag title tournament signed? JESSE You have. T-BOD And yet GPX are still begging D.O.A. Abe and the board of directors to grant them another shot at the titles. Let me tell you punk-ass bitches something. We're the OAOAST tag team champions! Two pretty boy sumbitches aren't going to tell the company how to run itself. We've beat you not one but twice. Everything that was in the contracts have been completed. Bottom line: It's time to move on. And seeing how nobody in the OAOAST has the pecans to step up to the plate and face us, we're gonna take this to a whole other level. Mr. Black? DAN As my partner was saying, being that no so-called team has been willing to challenge us, we're going to start doing things our way, with complete and utter disregard for diplomacy. Our first act: The Farmer of Champions, Jivin' J.R. will boogie throughout mother earth searching for fresh, new tag teams who want an opportunity to wrestle for the world tag team championships. Tony, shall we see who has the "pecans"? T-BOD Let's shall. DAN Very well. At 9:07 p.m., on May 27, 2004, the OAOAST tag team champions Black T issue a challenge to the SWF tag team champions. The announcers and the crowd gasp. Jesse looks like he's going to have a heart attack. J.R. proudly stands behind Dan & T-Bod, holding the championships above their heads. COLE What an announcement! CABOOSE You know it won't happen. COACH Thank God for my Japanese wrestling game import. There I can do all the OAOAST-SWF interpromotional matches I want. DAN You heard right. It's like a tank blasting through their headquaters. The enemy is walking among us. Certain gentlemen seem to be having trouble understanding who they are: them or us, the OAOAST. We're going to make them understand wh-- Before Dan can even finish his comment, him & T-Bod are jumped from behind by THE GLOBAL PARTY XCHANGE! Jesse drops his mic and quickly high-tails it. J.R. has no interest in getting beat up, so he also heads outside. He pounds his hands on the apron, encouraging his boys. COLE Scott Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson are men on a mission. They, too, are upset about their match at SO: CD, and they're going to take it out on the Champions. The 4 men slug it out midring. T-Bod tries to punch JJ, but he ducks and hits an atomic drop, leaving Dan in a statueesque pose due to the pain. Dan goes over-the-top rope thanks to a clothesline by JJ. Scotty is hammering away on T-Bod. He whips T-Bod towards Johnny, who then gives T-Bod a taste of his own medicine -- THE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE (Spinebuster)! The crowd is absouletly loving this. As T-Bod feels the impact of TOOBE, JJ grabs his legs and rolls him over in a BOSTON CRAB. The cheers and chants of "PARTY!" get louder. Scotty double underhooks T-Bod, they're going for THE CHAIN LETTER! But out of nowhere, two men wearing leather jackets and sunglassess appear. They both have long '80s rockstar hair. One is blonde, the other has black hair. The black haired man delivers a clubbing forearm shot to the back of Scotty, sending him down on his knee. The blonde catches JJ in a vernuable position as he still has T-Bod in the Boston Crab, he nails him with a DDT! COLE Who the hell are these guys? CABOOSE I know who they are. COACH You do? CABOOSE Those guys are the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time -- The Saints. The blonde is Joe "Cowabunga" Logan and and black haired one is Synth Esizer. I have all their CDs. Wickedly awesome stuff. Especially their hit single "Suck Me, Fuck Me, Make It Ooze". COLE Cowabunga? A little '80s, is it not? CABOOSE There's a reason for the nickname, Cole. You really wanna know? COLE Yeah. I think we'd all like to know. CABOOSE During a class field trip to a farm, Joe went up to a cow, pulled out its tounge and and rubbed it on his d-- COLE Ugh, that's enough. CABOOSE You wanted to know. What? It brings back memories? COLE No! COACH Well, there was that time I used my cat to -- you know, people call 'em "pussy cats" and whatnot, and-- COLE Shut up! Synth Esizer climbs to the top. Logan executes a sitdown powerbomb as Synth delivers a legdrop from the top. CABOOSE What a beautiful melody. An Electric Melody, if you will. The Saints spit on GPX and strut around, fluffing their hair as Black T laugh from the entranceway. DAN (audio being picked up by a cameraman nearby) Bloody stalkers. That line sends cracks up Black T. COLE (to the director over his headset) What do you want to do? Let's go backstage or to commerical. Just get out of the ring. (Go to break) (Return from break) The cameras cut to a shot of the backstage area, and a round of boos picks up in the crowd as we see Hoff walking down a hallway, drinking a bottle of water, the 24/7 Title perched on his shoulder. COLE And there he is, the new 24/7 Champion, Hoff. A belt he stole -- CABOOSE Now COME ON! Hoff won the 24/7 Title fair and square, within the established rules of that crown. COACH Well Hoff's got one hell of a beating in store tonight at the hands of Axel. COLE That's right. Folks, if you haven't heard, Hoff will defend that title tonight in a huge main event contest against Axel! As Hoff walks down the hall, a smirk on his face, Jackie Gayda approaches him with a mic. JACKIE Hoff... HOFF Hey, cutiemuffin. JACKIE Listen, Hoff-- HOFF DAMN, Jackie, can't a man walk down a hallway in peace anymore? Jackie's face turns beet red. JACKIE I-- I'm sorry, Hoff, I didn't mean to-- Hoff laughs sharply. HOFF Nah, I'm just messing with your head, Barbie doll. Not that there's much to work with... JACKIE ...Hoff, many people have asked what the real reason is you turned your back on the fans? HOFF The REAL reason? JACKIE Well, yeah. Hoff lowers his head and rubs his goatee thoughtfully. HOFF Oh, well, the real reason, uh-huh, right, yes. *looking up* Because I don't NEED the fans! *loud boos from the fans* HOFF All right, sweet cans, feast your ears on this. With the fans, I got nothing. Nada. Zero. Now I've got this sweet gold belt on my arm, and I'm running with the elite. JACKIE So there's no ulterior motive? HOFF Ulterior? That's an awfully big word for a blonde. Jackie fumes. HOFF Ha, I'm just kidding, sweetcheeks. Hoff places his hand on Jackie's rear, and Jackie quickly shoves it off. Hoff laughs. HOFF Listen. Everything I said on Sunday was true. I just want to be recognized as the best. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a date tonight. Hoff walks off, but Jackie chases after him. JACKIE So you're not worried about your big match with Axel? HOFF What? Come ON. Axel's a great wrestler, sure. But a lovesick puppy versus the future of the biz? I don't think that's much of a match, honey. And let's just say, we've got a... "gameplan" tonight. Axel says the pain will begin? He doesn't know the half of it. Hoff walks off, still smirking as Jackie looks on. JACKIE Well, there you go. Back to you, guys. (Back to the arena)

(Return from break) (We go backstage where Rick Edwards is sitting in front of Abe Vigoda’s desk. Rick looks bored as Abe writes on a pad of paper in front of him.) ABE Mr. Edwards. I see that you’ve been celebrating your win last Sunday! RICK Yeah I have. ABE You’re not drunk are you? I have a problem with my wrestlers coming in drunk, especially when they don’t share the wealth. Hehehehehe! *Rick doesn’t look amused by the joke.* ABE What I called you in here for is to tell you that what I said at the PPV applies every week! You are under my rules and you either follow them or you pay the consequences. You my friend are out of control! You drink too much. You purposely try to injure people. You bring your sleazy lawyer friends into my arena and try to pull a fast one on me! RICK What’s your point Abe? ABE I don’t hate you. In fact I used to like you, back when you were a good man. You’ve just lost your way. RICK What do you know about it!? ABE I know that your Father basically imprisoned you, you’ve never met your mother, and your whole life was a lie. I don’t blame you for being upset, but you can’t let this go unchecked, just like I can’t let you go unchecked. RICK You’re not my psychiatrist. In fact I hate psychiatrists! ABE No I’m not, but as of today the OAOAST now has a resident Counselor and you will start seeing him immediately or else you’ll be suspended. You want to throw your weight around here, so now I’m throwing mine! RICK I’m not seeing a shrink! ABE Then you’re not wrestling on my show. You sent AJ Flaire to the hospital at the PPV! I can’t afford to let you run wild over this company. I think this Counselor will do you good! He’s a nice guy! RICK I’ll work my problems out on my own! They’re no one else’s business! ABE Your idea of working out your problems is hurting people and that won’t do! So I’d like you to meet the OAOAST’S new Resident Counselor! *Abe motions to the doorway* *Rick turns around and his eyes bug out as he sees the person in the doorway. The camera turns around to show… *The fans go absolutely crazy* RICK No!!! Forget this!! Anyone but him!!! EDDY KALM Oh come on Rick. I’m just here to help! RICK Why him!? Why not Tony Robbins or someone like that?? ABE He’s good at what he does and if you don’t see him you know what happens. RICK Fine, but I don’t want to be your friend and we are not going to be friends Eddy! EDDY KALM Give me a hug! RICK What!? EDDY KALM Give me a hug. It will make you feel better. *Rick looks sick as Eddy reaches out and gives him a big hug* RICK Let go of me fruit or I’ll beat the hell out of you! EDDY KALM The first thing we are going to do is get rid of that rage. Remember suck in the happy…blow out the pissed! RICK I’m not sucking or blowing anything!!! *Rick starts to leave* ABE Whoa! I’m not through talking to you! RICK Now what!? ABE I haven’t got to the best part! I have your next opponent lined up for you. RICK You what!? ABE I have your next opponent picked out. At the Great Angle Bash you will be taking on…………..a Mystery Opponent!! *Rick stares blankly* RICK I hope to God that’s his name! ABE No it’s not! Because of your actions towards AJ Flaire I am keeping your opponent for GAB a mystery for his own safety! RICK You can’t do that! ABE Yes I can! Just to make it a little fairer I will give you a hint each week about your opponent. If you are smart you’ll figure it out and prepare yourself. RICK What’s with the games Abe? ABE Remember a few weeks back when you tried to blackmail me? Well I told you I do not react well to blackmail! I’m going to watch you closely as long as you are under my jurisdiction because I do not trust you or the company you hang out with! RICK Fine! You just play your games and I’ll find out who I’m facing before the PPV! *Rick gets up to leave and comes face to face with Eddy* EDDY KALM Now about your counseling sessions, we start next week and I expect you to be there. RICK I’ll be there, but don’t expect me to open up to you. My problems are my business and no one else’s! *Rick storms out of the room as we fade out.* (Back to the arena)

(Return from break) We come back from a break, and see Drek Stone sitting solemnly and seriously in a chair backstage. The fans begin to loudly boo and chant “Drek Stone Sucks”, but he doesn’t even bother to acknowledge their reaction. Drek stares into the camera for a few moments, then slowly brushes his hair back depressingly. Afterwards, Drek once again stares into the camera and finally begins to speak. DREK Listen, Cappa, I have one question for you. One simple question. Throughout this entire week, people have been bombarding me with questions about my loss to you at School’s Out. Asking me how I’m feeling…..trying to find out just what went wrong in that title match…..attempting to discover how I let some asshole mincia like you end my amazing undefeated streak. I wasn’t quite sure how to answer these questions and, to be quite honest, they’ve been plaguing me this entire week. But now, it’s time for me to turn the tables and finally get the chance to ask a question. One simple question. Cappa……do you realize that, with what happened last Sunday, your entire life is now finished? Many of the fans in the arena start booing, but yet some of them are staying silent for this interview. DREK Oh no, no, this isn’t one of those empty threats that the inept hacks in the locker room like to run out and scream at the top of their lungs. I’m being completely honest. Cappa, your life is reaching its end. Since Sunday night, I’ve just been playing the same scene in my head over and over. Lifting you up high for a neck-cracking brainbuster, I’m doing an incredibly thorough job of showing my absolute superiority over you to that sold-out crowd. But then……but……..but then……it was all gone. Everything. My undefeated streak, that lump of golden Puerto Rican mass….it vanished. But Cappa, you need to understand something. My empathy disappeared with it too. DREK I tried to make this easy as humanly possible on you. There was never any doubt that the title was going to be going around my waist – there was just that little question of how. Was I going to have to cripple you? Was I going to have to confine you in a wheelchair? Make sure you never walk again? Was I going to have to ruin your life to the point where you beg me to orchestrate one of the most deserving whackings of all time? Or you would just understand your limitations and recognize that giving up the gold painlessly wouldn’t be too humiliating in the long run? Suffice to say, you made your decision. And now, I need to make mine. I need to do what I didn’t necessarily WANT to do in the beginning – but which will be all the more entertaining in the end. DREK So Cappa, take this time to savor the moment. Because, mark my words, you will never be this prominent again. It’s all downhill from here. First, it will be your health. Then, it will be your gold. Finally, you will ask me to end the misery that you have quickly sprialed into. And it will be no one else’s fault but YOURS! YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF, CAPPA! I can NOT be held responsible for what happens in the next few weeks because it is all resulting from WHAT YOU STARTED!! DREK If there’s anybody in that locker room that I like to talk with once in a while, it’s Tha Puerto Rican. That guy is second in talent in the OAOAST only to me, and he has a remarkable personality as well. But, as much as I respect PR……he’s not me. Cappa, he is NOT me. He does NOT go where I need to go and he has NOT been where I have been. Understand that fact. I AM NOT THA PUERTO RICAN!! You WILL NOT DEFEAT ME AGAIN LIKE YOU DEFEATED HIM THOSE FEW TIMES!! You’re in an entirely different game now. You’re no longer feuding with Tha Puerto Rican, or Colombian Heat, or the Cuban Wall. You’re feuding with “Reckless” Drek Stone, and your life is now quickly ending one second at a time. DREK Cappa, I don’t know when we’ll meet. It could be next week. It could be next month. It could be next year. Personally, it doesn’t matter to me. Sooner or later, I’m going to find you. I’m going to hurt you. And I’m going to take that gold away from you. You disrespected me at School’s Out by snatching away the title that BELONGED to me. And now I’m going to do what I need to. But don’t worry, worse comes to worse….. ……. ……I can always help you slip on a nice, untraceable pair of concrete shoes. *Drek sits back as the camera slowly peels away, and cuts to the Mad Cappa standing next to a television with the Puerto Rican title around his shoulder and an uneasy expression on his face. He nods his head slowly, then starts walking down the hall determinedly. Finally, he stops and walks into the office of the current D.O.A. Abe Vigoda. Abe is sitting there hurling darts at the dartboard on the opposite wall. Upon seeing Cappa enter, he immediately drops everything and swivels his chair around to face him.* ABE Why, if it isn’t the Mad Cappa. It’s a pleasure to see you once again. Might I add that you had an excellent title defense this past Sunday. CAPPA Thanks, Abe. That really means a lot to me. ABE So, son, I’m sure you’re in here for something. Not many people come in here to sit and chat. Besides Mr. Coachman, of course. Creepy guy just doesn’t want to leave me alone. So what I can do for you? CAPPAWell, Abe, I wanted to request a title defense for next week. I was hoping that you could put me in a match against Drek Stone for next Thursday. ABE Cappa, that’s actually a great idea. I’d love to see you guys fight it out again. But why so soon? You don’t see many champions barge in here and demand to defend their title. CAPPA I have some business I need to deal with. It’s no big deal. I just want to give him the title rematch that he honestly thinks he deserves. ABE Okay then. The match is set up for next week right here on HeldDown! The Mad Cappa will be defending the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title against Drek Stone. CAPPA That’s what I wanted to hear. Thanks a lot. *Cappa walks out of the office with a smile on his face. Abe swivels back around in his chair and picks the darts back up off the floor. The camera begins to fade out as Abe chucks a dart across the room, completely missing the dartboard.* (Go to the arena) The sound of "Nothing" (as opposed to the sound of nothing) fills the arena, as the entire Thrillogy faction of the 24/7 Champion Hoff, Calvin Szechstein, the lovely Candie, and OAOAST World Champion Zack Malibu come walking through the curtain. COLE Hooray. Look who's here. CABOOSE You twit. Don't you realize they're good for ratings? COACH Yeah, but bad for business. CABOOSE Riiiight. Just because you don't deserve to make as much as some people doesn't mean business is bad. I'm quite content. The supergroup, known for ripping the hearts of every OAOAST fan into pieces due to recent actions such as beating on Crystal and feigning good intentions, enter the ring. Malibu immediately waves on Michael Buffer, drawing him over with the microphone, which the World Champion rudely snatches from him. Malibu goes to speak, but the crowd boos are too much. Malibu pauses, and amidst the boos is a large chant for Malibu's nemesis, the Female Phenom, Crystal. The Thrillogy members sneer at the crowd, with Hoff ordering more than one ringside fan to shut up. The commands only draw more boos, drowning out any attempt Zack makes at talking. Finally, after several moments, he starts anyway. MALIBU You know, when someone takes the time to come out here and speak to you people, you need to shut up and let them say what's on their mind. *Crowd boos* MALIBU Now, I know what everyone is saying. "What do they want now?" First of all, we'll come out here when we damn well please. You people seem to forget, this MY company and MY show. Secondly, I made a promise this past week. A promise that I'd be in attendance tonight not to have a title match, not to have a match at all, but to confront an old friend. *The crowd buzzes, as rumors have been rampant all week as to who this person is.* MALIBU I know, I know, you're all wondering who it is. I've read the sheets. I've been on the message boards. I've seen everyone's name from Caboose to CWM to Anglesault to Some Guy to The Sole Survivor right down to the Mean Street Posse mentioned. Well, the time of waiting is over, because the person I have a bone to pick with is...YOU, Michael Cole! COLE What? CABOOSE HAHA! You're in for it now, pretty boy! The crowd boos, many shocked, that Malibu is eyeing his old confidant. MALIBU Michael Cole, get in this ring, right now. COLE The hell I am. CABOOSE Pussy. COACH Mikey, go up there, dawg. I got ya back! MALIBU Cole, either you come in here right now, or Calvin and Hoff are gonna drag you in here by your fruity frosted hair! Cole shakes his head in disgust, then drops his headset, getting up from Sofa Central and making his way towards the ring. Cole is hesitant, but many fans cheer as he gets up on the apron. Malibu orders him in the ring, and Cole steps in slowly, looking at every member of The Thrillogy with a sense of distrust. MALIBU Michael Cole...do you have something you want to say to me? Zack holds the microphone in Cole's face, looking him dead in the eye. The famed announcer starts to speak... COLE Zack, I... ...but Malibu pulls the mic away! MALIBU No, no, Michael. I asked you, do you have something to say to me? Again, Zack holds the mic to him. COLE What do you want from me, Zack? MALIBU What do I want? Let's see, Michael. I want you to tell me the truth. I want you to come out with it all. Do you think I don't watch the tapes of these shows, Michael? Do you think I don't hear what you have to say? "Zack Malibu is sickening!" "I can't believe what he just did!" "I hope Crystal kicks his ass!" Michael Cole, it seems that you have issues with me, but you're too afraid to take me up on them. COLE I'm a commentator, Zack. MALIBU And you're supposed to be objective! Now you're showing bias? Towards what? Towards that stupid little bitch that I beat this past Sunday? To a guy who's nothing more than a mediocre at best impression of me? Two months ago, you wanted Sly Sommers to burn in hell. Two months ago, it was that lovesick lapdog you call a co-host that did all the Crystal cheerleading. Two months ago, you and I were goofing off in the back, pranking lil' Josh Matthews. Nowadays, all I hear is how you want nothing to do with me, or The Thrillogy. Is that so? COLE I don't like what you've done, no? MALIBU You don't like what I've done? What we've done? You don't like the fact that your boy, Zack The King Mack Malibu, is on top of the world? COLE I don't like what you've become, Zack. MALIBU What I've become? Newsflash, Cole, it's ALWAYS been like this. See, you're just playing the role of the concerned citizen now, but I didn't see you complaining when I used my pull to get you into the hot spots, the VIP rooms, and the big premieres. Now that I'm using my celebrity to get what I want...no, what I DESERVE, you're not down with that? You're just another user, Cole. Just like Crystal tried using me for a title shot. Just like corporate tried to use me to clean up their messes. You make me sick. Malibu shoves Michael Cole down, and the crowd jeers loudly, as Malibu stands above his fallen former friend. MALIBU So, now that we've gotten that out of the way, Michael, I guess there's only one thing to do. The same thing that has been done to Crystal, Sly Sommers, and these good for nothing fans. The Thrillogy is going to show you how we do business. Hoff cracks his knuckles, as The Thrillogy advance on Cole, backing him into the corner. CABOOSE I'm going to enjoy this soooo much. Suddenly, the speakers blare with the sound of music, as Avril Lavigne's "Happy Ending" starts playing. COACH What the... CABOOSE What is this crap? All of a sudden, the crowd has mixed feelings about the figure showing up on the entrance stage....NORTHSTAR! COACH YO~! CABOOSE It's our old GM! I bet he's here to congratulate Zack and The Thrillogy for a job well done once they take care of this ninny. Northstar weilds a mic, and the unsuspecting Thrillogy members drag Michael Cole out of the corner, with Hoff holding him by the back of the neck, as they all look on to see Northstar smiling at the crowd. NORTHSTAR Hello, my butterflies, and helllllllllloooooooo Thrillogy! Did you guys miss lil' ol' me? The Thrillogy don't react, as they're still stunned by this. NORTHSTAR Oh, I know what you're all thinking. Where have I been, what have I been doing, and most importantly, why am I here tonight? All very good questions, and all will be answered in due time. First of all, where have I been? Well, after the debacle with Alix, I laid low. I shut myself in, not because I was depressed, mind you, but because I just installed a home theater. I'll never have to pay $9 for a movie ticket again. Secondly... MALIBU Just get to the point, Goldust. NORTHSTAR Temper, temper, Zachary! Is that any way to treat an old friend. Now, where was I... MALIBU You were interrupting me, that's where you were. What's your deal, Northstar? You're not the GM anymore, and you're not on the active roster. Why are you here and cutting in on my time? NORTHSTAR Ah, throwing out the hardball questions, huh Zacky-poo? Well, I'll tell you. I know I'm not the GM. That's a spot they've given to Abe Lincoln. MALIBU Abe Vigoda. NORTHSTAR Oh, silly me, I get so confused since they're about the same age! Like I was saying, I know I'm not the general manager, nor an active roster member. However, when you stated on OAOAST.com that you were coming here to confront an old friend, I figured that we should allow this night to live up to expectation by having an old friend, namely moi, confront you. Now that I've done that, and caused these people great joy in doing so, allow me to tell you this, Zack Malibu...you are a piece of shit! COACH YO~! CABOOSE What?!? The crowd pops bigtime, as Northstar gleefully nods his head in a yes motion. The Thrillogy do not look pleased, and Zack's jaw drops. NORTHSTAR You see, now I know why you were so adamant about stopping my groundbreaking ideas. Why you didn't want to listen to my advice when I was in charge of this show. You wanted to take all the credit for yourself. Well, Zack, the wrestling world was not built on the back of one man, and this company was not built on the back of one man. In fact, I don't think anyone on the roster, or in this building, owe you ANYTHING! Malibu grits his teeth, irate at his one time foe. NORTHSTAR We all knew your ego was the size of North Dakota, Zack, but c'mon, let's face it, you're really not willing to give anybody ANY credit? What about the blood, sweat and tears of everyone else on this roster. The Seven Sins Series between the GPX and the Minions, who are now apparently drug addicted clubhoppers if my memory serves me correct...but that's besides the point. What about everything Dan Black did for IntenseZone? Granted, it wasn't much compared to MY General Manager abilities, but still. What about Crystal, the girl who would have kicked your ass for that belt on Sunday if it wasn't for a cheapshot, deciding to mix it up with the best in the world. She even kicked MY ass before! MALIBU So have I, and I'm about to do it again. NORTHSTAR Hey, I've been down that road before. Six times in one night, as a matter of fact. Malibu backs off, mouthing obscenties as Northstar reminds him of the Iron Man Match, one of the true OAOAST classics, from just one year ago. NORTHSTAR So, Zack Malibu, Thrillogy, fans of the OAOAST, I am here to announce that the Northstar you know and love...he's not gone, but he's taken certain things down a notch. I know that certain things need to be done around here, and I'm here to announce that I'm back to aid in doing them! (Crowd pops) COACH Northstar is back! CABOOSE I take it back. I'm not happy about this. NORTHSTAR I know, shocking, isn't it? Northstar, on the side of the fans? Well, believe it, Zack. Just like no one thought that you'd ever become what you have, even though I TRIED to tell you people all along, I'm going to fight the good fight. I'm going to stand up for what I believe in. And I'm not going to let you kick Michael Cole's ass. MALIBU Oh yeah? You and what army? The Rainbow Alliance? VOICE No, this one! Northstar drops his mic and turns around. Suddenly, Crystal, Sly Sommers, and The Bleeding Souls step out onto the ramp, with Crystal holding the mic. Instead of talking further, she drops hers too, and the six of them charge the ring, outnumbering The Thrillogy! COACH Oh lordy lord! The fans go wild, as the six fan favorites slide into the ring, causing The Thrillogy to drop Michael Cole and bail out as fast as they can! Cole is helped to his feet by AJ Flaire and Sly Sommers, while Crystal climbs the ropes, pointing and shouting at Zack that they're not through. CABOOSE Northstar, you broke my heart! "Set It Off" by Audioslave kicks up, while the fans applaud the efforts of the faces in saving Michael Cole. Northstar looks at the five fan favorites and winks, then just backs away, not sticking around to pose for the fans. He walks back up the ramp, a smile on his face. COACH Who woulda thunk it, huh 'Booze? Northstar's back, and The Thrillogy just got sent running! Most importantly, my boy Mikey survived. CABOOSE Joy. Bliss. COACH Yo, if you're chillin' on the couch, get up and get yo' snack now. We're back with more after this! CABOOSE I thought I’d finally be rid of that diseased ridden, walking cliche. So much for my happy ending. (Go to break)

(Return from break) SCOTTY Yo, peoples! Your favorite homies from Hotlanta and the 313 respectively coming to ya via Hi-Dif. Mr. Cameraman, please shoot in a wideshot. The last few days have been tough for me & Johnny. All the partying, orgies and booze hasn't been able to heal our pain about losing at School's Out. We was never good in class -- too much daydreaming of Ms. Lowell -- but failing this test was hard, ya hear. JOHNNY What the S-Man is trying to say is... We've come to realized winning the tag titles is the only thing that means the most to us. Don't get us wrong, we're still those wild and crazy boyz, pimpin' up, hoin' down, but we're more focus than eva before about the tag titles. Instead of thinking of Scotty's mother... Scotty gives JJ a stare. JOHNNY Sorry, S-Man, but your mom is H-O-T-T. Hott! Hott! Hott! No wonder they call it HOTlanta. Your mom's like Madonna, the bitch -- and I mean that as a compliment -- finds ways to retain her hotness. PMS gettin' owned! And to think you were sucking on those nice pair of tit-- SCOTTY Tasted like cherry, too. But damn, man, that's my mama, fool. Be -- you know, respectful. JOHNNY Word. I know I wouldn't want you talkin' about how you did my sister. Scotty stiffens up a little. Apparently Johnny doesn't know... SCOTTY Or mom, first female cousin, Ms. Lowell. JOHNNY (chuckling) Damn, boy! You make it sound like you've slept with them. Heh heh. SCOTTY Don't ask. Don't tell. JOHNNY Right on, brother! Gays should be able to fight for our country. U.S.A! U.S.A U.S.A! SCOTTY In closing, we're not going to end our quest for the gold. Nemo didn't quit trying to escape the fish tank, and neither will we. JOHNNY Give up on the tag titles, that is. Not the fish tank because we're not fish nor live in a tank. Just nightclubs. We're comin' for ya Black T. We're comin'! SCOTTY Figure of speech. We're not actually comin'. But we are for the gold! Yat-- you know the rest. JOHNNY GPX over and out! (Take another break) (Return from break) MC Welcome back, folks. Let's go to the ring for the nex... The camera cuts to a crowd shot, where we see Mikey, Nate, and SB87 from the Rave and Assault Squad are seen coming in through. They jump the rail, as Mikey takes the microphone from Michael Buffer and enters the ring, followed by his brother and other partner. COACH This wasn't scheduled for the program... MIKEY Excuse me...will you all just shut up? (boos) I know none of us are even supposed to be here, but we got something we gotta get off of our chests, and I've been elected the spokesman. See, as I'm sure none of you have noticed, we haven't been on this show since last month. There's been a reason. See, we're being held down.... MC Everyone here is...thus the name of the show, you moron! MIKEY In March, back when we were retarded altar boys, we had a Match of the Year candidate in the form of the Anglemania Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match against the Global Party Exchange that got a standing ovation from EVERYONE in that building after the match. I know that the GPX deserved their title shot they got last weekend more than we did because they won the thing, but we should at least be on the TV show, even if it's just against preliminary talent! CABOOSE The guy kind of does have a point... MIKEY Then we realized that we corralate our being banished off of the show to the shift of power in this promotion. We realized that the reason why we're not on TV is because Abe Vigoda has a personal agenda against us. We figured that he doesn't want to give off the image that a few guys who just happen to take pills or shoot up for fun can also be some of the top wrestlers in this company. COACH Using that logic, they should be in rehab, not a wrestling ring. MIKEY I mean, myself and my brother, as egotistical as it sounds, are the best tag team specialists since that name was first given to Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty in 1990! And then you got good ol' SB' back here...he can do stuff in this ring that might not ever be duplicated. His regular arsenal of moves includes stuff that most men can only dream of doing once in their entire lifetime! MC I will give credit where credit is due; SB87 is probably the most spectacular high-flier most of us will see in our lifetimes. MIKEY So Abe, will you please come out here and explain to us why we aren't booked for TV? Seconds later, DOA Abe Vigoda appears in the aisleway. He has a microphone. ABE Wait a second...what's all of this? MIKEY We want to know why YOU haven't put us on TV since the World Tag Team Title Tournament, where you just needed fresh bodies. ABE You want to know why? It's because, out of all the new talent in this promotion recently, the group of guys I've been the most impressed with but haven't showed me nearly enough when it comes to drive and determination to get to the top are you three. You go out, you have lots of nasty sex, you do your drugs, and then you crash when you get to the shows. I don't want that type of crap at our shows. MIKEY Maybe you're just jealous that all the guys you want on top can't do half of what we can? ABE Maybe you're just jealous because those guys can get through the day without popping pills and smoking dope? MIKEY That...that offends me and my associates up here. ABE Face it: you and your brother could have been in the Black T's spot on Sunday, if it weren't for you two showing up, high on crack, for the tournament. And SB87...I even offered you a number one contenders' match, with the winner facing whoever the X Champion was after School's Out. Your reply? Oh, that's right...you didn't at all. You were passed out in some guy's living room, and whoever you were with didn't have a clue you were a wrestler, since they had to ask me what exactly an "X Title" was. MIKEY You can claim all you want, but the fact is that those are all just claims. Sure, we like to use chemicals to enhance our lives, but the only thing stopping us from being on top right now is LACK OF OPPORTUNITIES! ABE Oh...so you think I'm not giving you enough opportunities, eh? Well, I'll tell you what. There was a match that happened on this very program on Christmas night, just seven months ago, that set the wrestling world on fire. It was for the X-Division Title, as Sly Sommers and Saint Andrew KILLED themselves for that belt. The match? Parental Indiscretion. I'll tell you three what: if you can get off of your asses, come to the shows leading up to the Great Angle Bash, and I'll put you three in the second-ever Parental Indiscretion match! MC Did you hear that? Parental Indiscretion II! ABE Here's the way things are going to go: it will be a six-man tag version of the match, in which you have sets of weapons at your disposal on each side of the ring, and the match cannot end in the first ten minutes due to there being no referee in site. I'm going to try and find you three opponents for the match, but due to the nature of this contest, I'm going to need extra help from you three in finding opponents. MIKEY That's fine; we're apparantly good at pissing people off. ABE Good. I'm also adding an extra element of danger that I hope will eventually become its own type of stipulation match. You see, I'm going to put a twelve foot mini-tower behind each ring corner. Connecting the towers at the top, in a square surrounding the ring's circumfrence will be a three-foot wide platform that I have dubbed "The Daredevil's Delight". This platform can be used to make all of your insane dives and moves even that much more insane! COACH My lord! Daredevil's Delight sounds sick! ABE And one added stipulation: whichever team wins this match at Great Angle Bash automatically is entered into the Emperor of Death Tournament, which will take place throughout the first-ever two-day PPV spectacular, entitled "License to Pin...Renewed". That is all; have a pleasant evening. (Abe leaves, as the RAS is in the ring, both shocked and enlightened.) MC Can you believe what we've just heard? Parental Indiscretion II: Daredevil's Delight is coming on June 27th, with six insane acrobats instead of two and a twelve-foot high platform surrounding the ring for the competitors in the match, with the winners getting slots in the Emperor of Death tournament in July! COACH This could be the highspot fans' wet dream! CABOOSE Ex-nay on the inside-ay terms-nay! MC Whatever...we're going SOMEWHERE right now! (Cut backstage, where Crystal's sitting in a hallway and clutching her eye in pain, it being bruised during the big melee earlier. From out-of-camera range, Sly Sommers comes into view.) SLY Hey, how's the eye doin'? CRYSTAL It's been better. SLY Listen, I came here to let you be reassured that, in this whole mess, that I got your back. CRYSTAL Just like all of my other partners who ended up turning on me had my back? SLY I knew you'd say that, combining your past of untrustable partners with my past of being an a-hole. That's understandable, but as much as we can be all tough and say that we're going it alone, the fact is that we can't go it alone against the Thrillogy. They're too damn strong. We can't fight them one-on-three. Even if we could, you know that they've got the stroke around here to handicap us even more and make sure that they win the battle. CRYSTAL You know...you're right. There's no way that one person, no matter how big and bad they might be, can overcome Zack, Hoff, and Calvin. But together, us and Bleeding Souls...I think we can take them. (sticks her fist out to Sly, Sly touches his fist with hers) SLY Yeah, I think we got 'em. (CUT TO BREAK OR NEXT SCENE OR SOMETHING)

(The shot focuses on Triple C) CABOOSE Ass holes at home, you’re in luck, no you’re not finally moving out of your mom’s basement, but you are getting the chance to see footage from the lobby of Williams and Horn. Footage that is exclusive to HeldDOWN. Roll the clip! (This past Monday) (We open on a scene of the Williams and Horn lobby. There seems to be a party going on and Rick Edwards is the guest of honor. Balloons and streamers are strung up along tables of food. Employees walk up and shake hands with Rick, congratulating him on winning the X-Title. Rick stands there with the X-Title over his shoulder and J. Arthur stands beside him talking.) RICK I didn’t know all these people even liked wrestling? J. ARTHUR Hey if they get a bonus for being here they’ll pretend to like anything. *Rick looks at JAE with a sour look* J. ARTHUR I didn’t mean that no one cared! The Boss says that today is your day and that’s all that matters. Did you get your bonus check for winning your match? RICK Yes I did. Tell the Boss I said thanks. J. ARTHUR You’ve proved yourself and now it’s time to start working those odd jobs for us that the Boss talked about. Don’t be nervous, I’ll teach you all you need to know. RICK Whatever passes the time when I’m not wrestling. I just need to stay busy or I’ll crack. J. ARTHUR Are you okay? RICK Oh I’m right as rain as long as I keep busy with something. It’s just that this is all I have left. J. ARTHUR Then here’s to a successful career both in and out of the ring! *Raises his glass* RICK Here here! *Raises his glass* Our good friend Abe wants to see me in his office this Thursday. I can only guess what he wants now. *The same businessman in a suit that showed up at School’s Out walks over to Rick* BUSINESSMAN I’m sorry that our little arrangement did not work out. RICK It’s alright. Now I can say I beat AJ on my own. Abe Vigoda is a thorn in our side, but we’ve proven that he can’t stop us. BUSINESSMAN If you need my help again just call. *Hands Rick a business card* RICK *looking at the card* Christopher Cain? So that’s your name? Cool name. J. ARTHUR Rick it’s time to see the Boss. *Rick and JAE head to the elevator and go up. The camera then switches to The Boss’ office where The Boss sits at his desk, hidden from view behind the chair.* THE BOSS Welcome! Congrats on your win Rick! RICK Thanks. THE BOSS Now that you’ve proven to be all that James says you are we can get you started on some of the other work. J. ARTHUR *whispering to the Boss* Please don’t call me James, you know I hate that. THE BOSS As I was saying, I have someone I want you to talk to. She’s suing one of our clients and we believe that we can remedy this quite easily. Just talk to her and make her see things our way. Her name is Leah Blackstone and she’s quite the pain in our sides. RICK I can take care of it. THE BOSS Good! I hope that you can. *Rick and JAE leave the office with smiles on their faces as we fade out.* (Go to the arena) (A Random Bob Seger song hits and out walks the dirty and smelly Homeless Dan. He has a garbage bag slung over his shoulder which holds all of his worldly possessions and begins walking down to the ring. He gets in the ring, drops his sack of stuff in the corner and grabs a mic) Homeless Dan: Ok Fonzie. I collected my peanut butter sandwhich earlier today and even got some vegetable soup with it due to my guarentee of you going down. Get out here you hack! (just then a loud “Heeeeeeeey” can be heard over the loud speakers followed by “Mondays, Tuesdays, Happy Days! Wednesday, Thursday, Fridays, Happy Days! 7 Days…HAPPY DAYS!” and out rides Fonzie on his hog. The fans pop in unison) Caboose: Fonzie looks better than ever but Homeless Dan seems hungry Coach: Didn’t you hear him? He said he ate earlier, he isn’t hungry now Caboose:…I hate you (Michael Cole stares dreamily at Fonzie as he does his lap around the ring on the hog. Fonzie parks the old cycle and makes his way into the ring, all the while giving the double thumbs up to the crowd which reply with even larger pops. Fonzie grabs a mic) Fonzie: …Heeeeeeeey! (crowd goes BALLISTIC~) You cames out talking junk out heeeeres and now yous wants to fight me? Heeeeeey! Well we don’t needs to wait! (Fonzie throws down the mic and starts unleashing FURIOUS RIGHTS to Homeless Dan’s grizzled face. Homeless Dan staggers back and little bugs flea from his scalp as he’s punched even more. Fonzie finally rears back and hits him with one devastating punch that floors Dan. He then gives the double thumbs up to the crowd who are shaking the foundation with their cheers.) Coach: Hey, wait a minute…who’s that coming out of the crowd?! (Two people slide in the ring and Fonzie gives them the double thumbs up as well) Fonzie: Heeeeeeeey! Caboose: Why that’s… Ron Howard and Scott Baio! (Ron Howard and Scott Baio smile at Fonzie and then point in the direction of Homeless Dan. Fonzie turns around to look at Homeless Dan and while he does Howard and Baio position themselves) Cole: What are those two doing?! (Fonzie turns around puzzled and gets hit with a 3-D!!!! The crowd boos furiously and starts littering the ring with garbage.) Caboose: Hahahaha. That’ll teach Fonzie to always throw those two on the back burner. (Homeless Dan gets up and gives props to his two comrades. With the help of the two he lifts up Fonzie and sets him up for a Cradle DDT) Coach: He calls that the “Hobo-Chili!” (Homeless Dan drops Fonzie with the Hobo-Chili which sends Fonzie into minor convulsions. Scott Baio, Ron Howard, and Homeless Dan stand in the ring celebrating while Bob Seger once again plays over the sound system and paramedics rush into the ring to tend on Fonzie) (Go to break)

I'll post the show this week. Promise.

Man, that's the first time a show's ever been posted before I woke up. I enjoyed Sly's Euro rounds match, that's an interesting format for a wrestling match. Hoff's introductions before the match were pretty funny as well.

Change of plans. Something came up. Send your stuff to someone else.

Hey! Send everything to me again! You know what time I post the show so get it to me before then. (This is Northstar)

(Return from break) ::The scene opens at ringside, where Jackie Gayda stands in the center of the ring with a microphone in her hand:: Jackie: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time is a man who a little over a week ago at The Year of Living Anglelously, defeated Panther in a 2-out-of-3 falls match to end his career in the OAOAST. Then, just last week here on hD~!, he shocked us all when he turned on and attacked Tina in the middle of their wedding. Fans, please welcome...CHRIS...BRYTE!!!!! ::"It's Goin' Down" by the Linkin' Park feat. the X-ecutioners hits the PA system, and the arena slowly fades to black. A deep blue hue covers the arena, white strobe lights begin flashing at the entrance, and a thick smoke pours out from the locker room.:: Watch them flee Watch them flee Wa...Wa...Watch them flee Hip-Hop hits *scratch* *scratch* And you do it like this! ::Suddenly, the locker room curtains swing open and Chris Bryte steps out from the locker room, met by a chorus of boos from the capacity crowd. He's wearing an expensive-looking 3-piece suit, black shades and black dress shoes. He saunters down the ramp with a smile on his face, dodging the cups and bottles being thrown by the ringside fans. At ringside, he climbs up the ring stairs, steps through the ropes and walks out to the center of the ring with his arms extended into the air, soaking up the boos from the crowd. Chants of "Chris Bryte sucks" start up in the crowd as the lights slowly begin to return to normal. The music fades out, and Bryte walks up to Jackie with a smile on his face.:: Jackie: Now, Chris-- Bryte snatches the mic from her, drawing boos from the crowd. He reaches into his jacket pocket, pulls out a second pair of shades and places them on Jackie's face. He then raises the mic to his mouth and says... Bryte: Jackie baby, you're gonna need these, because things around here just got a whole lot BRYTER~! ::Bryte passes the mic back to Jackie as the crowd boos once again, with the chants of "Chris Bryte sucks" growing louder. Jackie removes the shades and tosses them to the mat. She then continues:: Jackie: Chris, last week, fans were shocked by your betrayal of your...well, former fiancee Tina. This, the same woman who helped you break into the business. A woman who has stood by your side for months. A woman who many say is the ONLY reason you still have a career here in the OAOAST after Living Anglelously! You betrayed her, you attacked her, and you absolutely humiliated her in this ring last week. For those of you who missed it last week, we've got some footage for you. Take a look... ::Both Jackie and Bryte turn to the Angletron as the HeldDOWN~! logo scrolls across the screen. The words "LAST WEEK" appear in the upper right hand corner of the screen as footage of the Bryte/Tina wedding begins to play. Tina has already said "I do", and now awaits Bryte's answer. As the fans, announcers, and MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE egg Bryte on, he turns to Tina, places his right hand over his heart, opens his mouth and says... Bryte:...NAH! Cole: "Nah?!" *WHAM* Cole: OH NO!!!!!!! ::Suddenly, Bryte turns and blasts Tina with a spinning back kick to to gut, doubling her over. He follows up with a with a knee lift to the jaw that knocks Tina to the canvas. The crowd is LIVID!!!! Bottles, cups and other items fly into the ring as Bryte knocks over the podium, shoves the Minister out of the ring and grabs the mic. He turns to Tina with a look of disdain in his eyes:: Bryte: YOU BITCH!!! YOU STUPID...DISGUSTING BITCH!!!!! (crowd boos) DID YOU *REALLY* THINK THAT I LOVED YOU?!??! DID YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT I COULD BE IN LOVE WITH A FREAK LIKE YOU?!?!?! ::Tina sits on the mat holding her jaw, in total disbelief at what has just happened. As tears begin to flow down her cheeks, Tina tries to rise, but... *CRACK* ...Bryte sends her right back down with a kick to the temple. A second one to the back causes her to roll over onto her stomach, and by now, officials are beginning to pour out from the locker room:: Cole: This is absolutely disgusting! I cannot believe what Chris Bryte has done! The son of a bitch...in the middle of the wedding... Caboose: And I don't think he's done, Cole! Look! ::With a series of martial arts kicks and strikes, Bryte sends the officials flying from the ring. Meanwhile, a groggy Tina is beginning to pull herself back to her feet. Bryte turns back to her with a sinister smile:: Cole: Oh no! C'mon, Chris! You've done enough! ::When Tina reaches her feet, Bryte rushes up to her and boots her in the midsection, doubling her over again. Suddenly, he scoops her up over his right shoulder and parades her around the ring as the fans look on, booing wildly. More officials enter the ring, trying to talk Bryte down, but to no avail. Bryte turns to the main camera, lifts Tina high into the air, and drops her down in... Cole: THE BRYTE OUT!!!!!!!! MY GOD, HE JUST GAVE THE BRYTE OUT TO TINA!!!!!! ::Bryte springs back to his feet, soaking up the boos from the capacity crowd. Then, to complete the humilation, Bryte reaches down and rips off Tina's wedding gown, leaving her lying on the mat in her bra and panties. He throws what's left of the gown into the crowd, then hops out to the floor as officials attend to Tina. We freeze on an image of Tina crying in the ring as the HeldDOWN~! logo scrolls across the screen once more and we cut back to live action, where the fans in the arena are now chanting "ASSHOLE" at Bryte. It doesn't seem to phase Bryte, however, as he just smiles calmly. Jackie looks pissed:: Jackie: How could you do that?! How could you do that to someone who loved you?! Someone who cared about you! And you're laughing! You find this funny! Chris Bryte, you owe each and every last one of us and, most importantly, you owe Tina an explanation! ::Bryte rolls his eyes and snatches the mic from Jackie.:: Bryte: Jackie, Jackie, Jackie! (chuckles) What is there to explain? My career here in the OAOAST has been the proverbial diary! Just turn through the pages...you'll see the answers if you read closely enough. However...last week, you, * PANTHER* (LOUD pop from the crowd), and EVERYBODY around the world learned a harsh lesson. You know what they say about diaries, right? (chuckles) You may think you know, but in reality, you have NO IDEA! ::The crowd boos as Bryte passes the mic back to Jackie. She looks confused:: Jackie: What's that supposed to mean? Bryte: What it means is that last week, I proved without a shadow of a doubt just who's the REAL brightest mind in the game, and it isn't Panther...IT'S ME! ::There are a few boos scattered about the arena, mostly from longtime Panther fans who recognize Bryte's use of one of Panther's old catchphrases. Bryte continues:: Bryte: Just think back to January 1st--the night that, with the help of Tina, I got my tryout match here in the OAOAST, against none other than the "CHAMP OF CHAMPS" himself! Now Panther, it was no coincidence that you were my opponent that night, because I requested you specifically. And no, it wasn't because Tina put me up to it, which I know there's been speculation about for a while now! My reasons for targeting you go much, much deeper, than that! See Panther, I know you! I know you a lot better than you think, and I've known you for a lot longer than you actually realize. (chuckles) Panther, once upon a time, I actually looked up to you! Yeah...I was one of those loving...caring...ADORING fans that you used to go on and on about in those long-winded promos of yours! Remember that, Panther? Remember?! (smiles) Man! Panther, I used to think that you were to coolest man alive! I idolized you! You were everything I wanted to be, Panther! You had it all...the looks, the brains, the skill, the attitude...the charisma! Panther, in my eyes, you truly were the Personification of Greatness, and even now, as I stand here before you, I can say that there's no reason that you shouldn't be a legend...an ICON in this business! No reason at all! You had all the tools, Panther! ::Now getting worked up, Bryte begins to pace the ring. Jackie nervously backs away from Bryte as he attempts to compose himself. Bryte breathes a couple of deep breaths before turning back to the camera with a slight smile on his face. He continues:: Bryte: Yeah, Panther, you really could've been something special...but unfortunately, it didn't quite work out like that, did it? (crowd boos) You people may not like it, but IT'S THE DAMN TRUTH! And why? Because, Panther, as great and as talented as you were...you had a weakness, and a very big one at that. See Panther, you've always...ALWAYS been a sucker for the ladies! (more boos) It's true! I look back to 2000, 2001 when you were at your peak! You were on the verge of breaking through to superstardom! I just knew it! It was only a matter of time before you made it to the big leagues, Panther! You had proven your greatness to me, and I knew that it'd only be a matter of time before you came in and showed the whole world what I and thousands of others already knew, and that's that you were the best damn wrestler ever to lace up the boots. But then came along came the women! I'm talking about the Chynas...the Diamonds...the Nikkis...and oh yes...THE TINAS! (mild pop from the crowd) THEY RUINED YOU, PANTHER!!! THEY RUINED YOU!!!! You let them get into your head! You let them take your mind off of your craft! You let them get in the way of your career, and you suffered because of it! They made you soft, Panther! They made you completely soft! In a matter of months, you went from being...possibly the next big thing in professional wrestling to being a glorified house wife! To being a stay-at-home babysitter? ::Bryte scornfully shakes his head as the crowd boos once more in the background:: Bryte: Man. Imagine my surprise when I turned on the TV last fall and found out that Panther had made his way to the OAOAST. Not the Panther I knew, though! This wasn't the Champion of Champions I knew and idolized! No! This man was a mere shell of his former self! All of the promise you showed in 2000, Panther...it was gone! The skill, the charisma...GONE! You'd lost your focus...you'd lost your killer instinct. Heh...I never thought I'd see that day that my hero, Panther, would break down and cry on national television, but IT HAPPENED! Panther, you came out on this show and you cried in front of the world! Imagine how embarrassed I was when I saw that! (sighs) It was at that moment, Panther, that I knew that you were no longer fit for this business. You didn't belong in a wrestling ring any longer, Panther, and once I realized that, I knew that I had to take action, to save you and anybody that's ever looked up to you from any further embarrassment! And THAT, my dear Jackie, is why I came to the OAOAST! That is why I've done what I've done! From day one, I set out to drive Panther out of the business once and for all. And Panther...damn, you made it so easy! ::Bryte laughs, drawing more boos from the crowd:: Bryte: I mean, c'mon people! Did you really think that a sexy stud like me would ever be interested in a skank like Tina?! (crowd boos) Please! I knew exactly how to get to you, Panther! I knew that all I had to do was get to Tina, all I needed to do was get to the woman you love, and you'd fold like a book! And you fell for it, Panther! You fell right into my trap, and now, as I stand before you people here tonight, that washed up has been that USED TO BE the Champion of Champions is no more! He's gone, and now, only Chris Bryte remains! I stand before you tonight with all the skill that Panther had in his prime...all the talent, all of the charisma, twice the attitude, but none of the weakness! (crowd boos) Mark my word, fans, Chris Bryte will never go soft! I will do anything and everything I can to live up to the expectations that Panther failed to reach, and with me here in the OAOAST, you people can deny that the future has never been BRYTER! ::The crowd boos once again in the background as Bryte passes the mic back to Jackie. He seems to be getting ready to exit the ring, but-- Jackie: So that's it? You used Tina to get to Panther? You not only end a man's career, but you humiliate this woman, you destroy her mentally and emotionally all because over some unfulfilled boyhood fantasy? ::The "ASSHOLE" chants start up once again, causing Bryte to smile and shake his head. He turns back to Jackie and grabs the mic once again:: Bryte: Jackie, Jackie, Jackie! You make it sound so...so BAD! (crowd boos) Hey, let me tell you people something...do not feel sorry for Tina! Don't! Believe me, I've known her just as long, and you OAOAST fans have NO IDEA just how rotten that bitch truly is! (louder boos) I mean it! Panther's life isn't the only one this woman has destroyed! Hell...I can name dozens of people...DOZENS...hell...my own... ::A commotion in the crowd distracts Bryte, stopping him mid-sentence. He reaches up and slowly removes his shades from his face before turning to the entrance. An evil smirk comes across his face:: Bryte: Well, well, well! Speak of the devil! Cameraman...(pointing to the stage) get a shot of that! Please...get a shot... ::The camera cuts to the entrance, where an *ANGRY* Tina comes into view. There's a look of fury in her eyes as she glares at Bryte from the stage, breathing deep, rapid breaths through clinched teeth:: Bryte: HELLOOOOOOOOO MRS. BRYTE! (laughs) Oh my goodness! Tina, I must admit, I didn't expect this! I didn't expect you to be here! Hell, after the way I embarrassed you here last week, I never thought you'd show your face here in the OAOAST ever again! I mean... ::Tina starts down the ramp, drawing a loud pop from the crowd.:: Bryte: HEY! WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!!!! ::Tina stops 3/4 of the way down the ramp, causing the crowd to boo. She takes another deep breath and clinches her fists as she looks up at Bryte:: Bryte: Calm down! Just calm down, Tina! I see you down there...all angry! You're full of piss and vinegar...you're huffing and puffing so hard that you're gonna end up popping an implant if your not careful... ::Tina starts down the ramp once more, drawing another pop from the crowd. In the ring, Bryte extends his open palm:: Bryte: WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT...TINA! CALM DOWN! ::Tina stops just as she reaches ringside, again, drawing boos from the crowd. She looks up at Bryte once again:: Bryte: Now honey...I know how you feel! I know that you're still hopelessly in love with me! You're probably down here right now to beg, to plead with me! (in a higher, more "feminine" tone) "Take me back, Chris! Please! Take me back! I'll do anything you ask! I'll scrub your floors! I'll clean your toilettes! I'll clip your toenails! I'll...I'll..." (Tina begins to tear up on the floor) OH GO AHEAD AND CRY!!!!!! ::The crowd boos wildly in the background as Tina looks down at the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks. The chants of "ASSHOLE" start up once again, which, again, don't seem to phase Bryte.:: Bryte: Please! You come out here trying to gain sympathy from all of these idiots in the crowd! You'll get none from me, Tina! Absolutely none! You wanna cry, you wanna bitch about how I you loved me, how I broke your heart, you are more than welcome too! You go right ahead, but Tina...and you look at me when I say this, you stupid bitch... ::The crowd boos as a teary-eyed Tina raises her head and looks up at Bryte:: Bryte: ...you may not like it, but you might as well accept it: there is no way...NO WAY that someone like me could EVER love a disgusting freak like you! ::The crowd boos once more in the background as Tina's body begins to tremble on the floor. She clinches her teeth, and balls up her fists, huffing and puffing as she eyes Bryte intensely... Tina: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH~! ...suddenly, she charges the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and DRILLING Bryte with a tremendous spear, driving him to the canvas! Tina suddenly begins tearing into Bryte with a series of rapid-fire rights to the head, as a group of officials suddenly storm the ring:: Cole: TINA HAS JUST EXPLODED ON CHRIS BRYTE! Caboose: Somebody get her outta here! This woman is a sex-crazed freak! Look at her!!! ::The officials manages to pull Tina off of Bryte, but she quickly breaks free from their grasp, going right back at the rookie and ripping away at his clothes. Threat by thread, she rips apart Bryte's 3-piece suit, leaving him lying on the mat in his boxers. Embarrassed, Bryte rolls to the floor and quickly sprints up the ramp, desperately trying to cover up as the fans heckle him. In the ring, Tina tosses the remains of Bryte's suit into the crowd and lets loose another wild scream as the "You gets No Love remix" hits the PA system. Officials try to calm her down as she glares back at the locker room with a look of intensity:: Cole: Fans...Tina has just gotten a measure of revenge on Chris Bryte! Coach: Yeah, and I've got a feeling that this whole issue between them is far from over! Cole: My goodness! ::Tina throws her arms into the air, drawing another pop from the crowd as we fade to a rerun of Hang Time::

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! “Trust me” by Lucy Woodward plays as we SEE THE LOGO~ (The opening video DOES NOT play! Instead we’re treated to clips of Zack’s shocking heel turn that took place last week.) (We go to the arena where the camera pans the crowd, who are waving their hands in the air as if there were no repercussions for their actions. Finally we settle on E’merica’s favorite announce squad TRIPLE C. Oh yeah some, pyro explodes and some stupid shit happens. And a chick shows her boobs. That was cool.) COLE What a night we have in store for you tonight here on HeldDOWN~!, ladies and gentlemen. After last week, we... Michael Cole's hype for this evenings card is quickly cut off by the lights in the arena shutting down, leaving the hyperactive crowd cloaked in darkness. CABOOSE Yep, this is a great way to kick off a show, with a power outage. The ensuing harmony that fills the air shows Caboose and anyone else that thought that to be the case are wrong, as the song "Bring Me To Life" begins to play, drawing major boos for the first time ever. CABOOSE Go ahead, Cole, you were saying... COLE ...after last week, we've all been waiting to hear from this man, and it looks like we're not going to have to wait very long, now does it? Once the chorus hits, so does the PYRO~!, as it explodes across the stage, sending sparkles flying and a heatwave across the rows of fans close in proximity. Through it all walks the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, who comes out to the stage and pauses, almost basking in the fact that he's being soundly booed. Clad in blue jeans and a black button down shirt, Zack Malibu turns to look behind him, and motions for Candie to follow him. She comes out as well, but doesn't look as cocky as her boyfriend does this evening. COACH Man, I thought Zack was my dog, but after last week...hell man, I should kick his ass myself! CABOOSE Go try. Please. I beg of you. Malibu strolls down the aisle, with Candie lagging a bit behind. He turns to her and motions for her to speed it up, but then stops and looks up at the entranceway, waving his hand for someone to come on down. COLE Let me take a wild guess as to who he's calling... CABOOSE It'll be an ambulance, for you, if you don't shut up, Cole. Cole's guess is probably the correct one, as Zack's waving brings out Calvin Szechstein, drawing even more boos from the already unhappy crowd. Zack and Candie stay put in the aisle, waiting for Calvin to catch up to them, before heading down to ringside all together. CABOOSE Look at this Triple Threat of Talent right there! I love it! COACH You hate Zack Malibu, 'boose. CABOOSE No, I hate phony baloney baby kissing fan-suckers. I don't see any of that going on these days, which grants Zack my utmost respect. Malibu gets up on the apron, and sits on the middle rope, lifting up the top one and allowing Candie to enter. She does, but the expression on her face signals that she might want to be somewhere else. Calvin takes advantage of Zack holding open the ropes and enters as well, trading quips with his newfound ally as Malibu finally enters the ring himself. Zack walks over to the corner, and waves Michael Buffer over to the ring apron, ordering him to bring him the microphone. Buffer obliges, and Zack swipes it away without so much as a thank you. COLE This should be good. COACH You were being sarcastic, right Mikey? The music has ended, but the catcalls of the fans have not, as the boos are deafening. Amidst the jeers, a chant starts off small, but then rolls through the crowd, growing and growing before the majority of the people in the building are screaming "ASSHOLE" at the top of their lungs. Zack just shakes his head and laughs, and pulls the microphone to his lips. MALIBU So...let me guess...you people want answers, right? (Crowd cheers) MALIBU You people have had the burning desire to figure out exactly what happened last week, aren't you? It's the question that's on everyone's mind...you all want...hell, I bet you all feel the NEED to know...just WHO moved that forklift, don't you? The crowd boos. CABOOSE What's their problem? I was wondering the same thing! COLE That's the least of my concerns. MALIBU Waitaminute...stop it, just stop the booing. You mean you didn't want to know that? Funny, because...ooooooh, OK, I get it. You're questioning my decisions as of late, right? You want to know why the glory boy, the pride and joy of the OAOAST, did what he did last week, right? You're questioning the character of the World Champion, am I correct? (Crowd cheers). MALIBU Well, quite simply people, it has finally gotten to me. I've surpassed the boiling point. Quite frankly, I think you should look around you, look at each other's face, and start booing each other, because it is each and every one of you that is responsible for what I did to Crystal! (MAJOR heat for that one, as Calvin Szechstein nods his head in the background). MALIBU The truth hurts, doesn't it? I bet you're all saying "No, it's not our fault!", but it is. Let's go back in time, shall we? Let's go back to all the politics, all the games being played behind closed doors that eventually found their way into public view. Let's talk about all the OAOAST Corporate drama, all the locker room heat, all the hatred. Every time Anglesault had a hissy fit, or Stephen Joseph had the revelations where he saw himself as a God, who did they look to? When CWM brought in The Underground to take over and show the world his view of how this company should be run, who did they target first? Who had to save the day? Who had to stop the Hollywood wheelers and dealers from turning HeldDOWN~! into a glorified studio backlot? It was ME, people. You all wanted...hell, forget that, you NEEDED me at those points. You NEEDED me in order to keep this company going, and you STILL need me to keep it going. You thought I was above all the politics and the games, well you were right. That hasn't changed. It's just that now I realize I can take full advantage of the fact that I stayed clear of all that hoopla. Hell, I knew what I was doing all along. Let corporate take each other out. Let the dissension and distrust fill the locker room. I have posed as the go-to guy for TWO YEARS. Two years, all the responsibility fell on my shoulder. Two years of blood, sweat and tears, and for what? Let's face it people, the system used me. The locker room, my "friends", used me, and each and every one of you ungrateful sons of bitches that are sitting in this arena and at home, have USED ME! (By now, the asshole chant has started up again. Malibu takes a breath, and continues.) MALIBU So, now that I'm doing things the way I want to do them, now that I'm not conforming to your views of me, you want to turn on me? Each and every one of you would be doing the same thing. Isn't it convienient that every time I was bloodied and beaten, well, people just let that happen. Malibu's a fighter, they'd say. He can take care of it. Yet as soon as I return to the top of the mountain, everyone wants to be my friend. This is where you come in, Crystal. This is where you come in, Sly Sommers. See, we'll start wtih Sly. Everything he said about me? As a certain Olympic Hero would say, oh it's true. I taught him everything he knows and then some, but instead of doing things the way they should be, he wanted to cash in on my name. He wanted to use me for my notoriety. He didn't want to have to work the indies, driving state to state for $50 payoffs, no. He wanted Zack Malibu to be attatched to his resume. He wanted Zack Malibu's name to get him where he's at, and do you want to know how he got in here? It was because of ME! That's right Sly, the only reason you got in, the only reason you aren't working in a Blockbuster Video recommending "100 Girls" to every friggin' customer that walks through the door is because I let you in here. Damage control, you see. I didn't want you taking my name with you somewhere and using it to propel yourself up the ranks. I didn't want to be responsible for anything you did. I didn't want the association with you, and that is why you're here today. You wanted to air the dirty laundry? Well, let's face facts...I showed you that I'm better than you at the pay per view, and now you're getting the whole truth. I suppose the fact of the matter is that you picked the wrong guy to attempt to screw with, because you can't con a con artist. COLE Well I'll be damned. Mr. "I never play games" has been holding Sly back all along! MALIBU So yeah, Sly Sommers, whom I might add does NOT deserve the responses you've been giving him lately, is nothing more than your typical run of the mill wannabe young lion, trying to make his way in this crazy world. Reality check time, Sly, you're not going to make it, because you can't do it on your own. You still want your name attatched to me now, boy? Ain't gonna happen. And it's not going to be attatched to Totally Endorsed either, because they are history. Done. Poof...they're gone. Calvin will get to that later, but right now, Sommers, you're just one man trying to do something that ten couldn't do...you want to bring me down? Sorry, wrong number. Try again. The fans are livid at these revelations, as this "holier than thou" persona of Zack has rubbed them all the wrong way. MALIBU Now, since Sly is old news anyhow, we move onto the current OAOAST 24/7 Champion, you're friend and mine, Crystal! (HUGE pop for the mention of the Female Phenom's name.) MALIBU Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy. It did'nt have to be this way. You could have just settled for the belt you've already got. You could have settled for being able to hang with the fellas. Hell, you could have settled for being this pervo's (points to Coach) wet dream, but no. You had to get greedy. People want to talk about MY attitude...it's about YOUR ego now, Crystal. Suuuure, as soon as I get the belt you think I'm ready to offer it up to you? What have you done to earn another title shot? What did you do, survive a feud with Damaramadingdong? Ooooh, big whoop. Won the 24/7 Title? Been there, done that. The truth is, much like Sly Sommers, you are just another person who is trying to get by on my name. You sucked up to me, but where were you when I needed you? Where were you when The Underground came here? Where were you when I had B-rate actors and wrestlers getting in the faces of myself and my girl? It all changed after Anglemania though, didn't it? You wanted to be my friend. Honey, let's face it...the one thing you could offer me is the one thing I don't need since I have a beautiful girl already. One that you can't compete with, and... (As Zack goes to put an arm around Candie, she knocks it away, stunning Zack.) CANDIE You know what...I can't do this. MALIBU What did you just say? CANDIE I said I can't do this, Zack. This isn't right. This isn't you. I KNOW it's not you. MALIBU Then you don't know me very well, do you? (The crowd is abuzz now, as Malibu and his girlfriend are eye to eye, arguing over his recent attitude adjustment.) CANDIE Zack, I love you, I honestly do. But I do not love what you've become. I think that title has made you lose track of what you should really be doing. I think it's made you lose track of what people should mean to you. You're not the same person I fell in love with, Zack. MALIBU Wait a sec...are you dumping me? CANDIE No...not at all, I...I just wish that... MALIBU Let me get this straight...you're questioning my decisions? Do you not trust that I'm doing what I feel is best for us? CANDIE No...yeah...Zack look now is... Malibu inches towards Candie, so that he's looking down on her. She backsteps, but he follows. MALIBU You are just as ungrateful as these people then. (HUGE HEAT from the crowd.) CANDIE Zack, listen I... MALIBU No, YOU listen, OK? You want to question what I do? Why, Candie, do you have some input as to how I should direct my career. Why don't you do what you were made for, just stand here and look pretty, OK? *SLAP* The crowd ROARS, as Candie lets Zack have it across the face, leaving a red handprint on his cheek. Malibu turns his head upon impact, snickers...THEN TURNS AND SHOVES CANDIE DOWN! Calvin quickly jumps in the middle of this and holds Zack back, as Candie is shocked, and begins to cry. She quickly gets up, and storms over to Zack, brushing right by Cal. CANDIE That's it, Zack, I've had it. I love you, and I can forgive you for things, but this is the last time. You've got a week to think about what I mean to you, what that belt should mean to you, and what these people mean to you. Because quite frankly, I think I speak for everyone when I say you need to reconsider what you're doing, because after this, there is no going back! MALIBUWas that a threat? Here, let me get the ropes for you...and get the hell out of my ring. Malibu moves over to the ropes and sits down, again holding the ropes for Candie, this time for her exit! Candie wipes the tears away and slowly exits, stopping to look Zack in the eye as she leaves, but he merely smirks back. COLE What a cold hearted bastard. He just kicked Candie to the curb! CABOOSE Cole, for me to say "I'm loving it" would be an understatement. COACH It would also get you sued by McDonald's! Back in the ring, Zack continues... MALIBU Well, now that that's over and done with. (turns to the aisle) Bye bye, Candie, I'll see you at home later on, right? Hehe, anyways, I feel I've gone on for long enough, we've pretty much covered all the...oh wait, I know what we're forgetting! (slaps forehead in sarcastic manner). You people want to wonder exactly why we're standing side by side wtihout killing each other, don't you? (Many fans nod "yes" or shout it out loud, as Zack and Calvin mumble to each other.) MALIBU Let's sum it up as best way we can. What you see here, is a marriage of convienience. Bottom line, we all know everyone's main goal is this belt, and as a former champion I know that sooner or later, Calvin's gonna get that itch for it. Right now, however, we've decided to pool our resources, because after Anglemania we got to thinking. I was determined not to be anyone's stepping stone, and Calvin didn't want to lose focus of his career. So after Anglemania, he called me up, and after cursing me out for beating him, actually came clean and said for as much as he hates me, he respects me. I replied that I felt the same way. That one phone call, that one comment that he made, got my motor running. I figured that the elite should only hang out with the elite. This man, I'll give him credit, has kicked my ass on many a night. We've had our wars, but when you look at us together, there is nothing...not a tag team, not a union, not a corporation, that can hold us back. OAOAST Corporate are falling apart at the seams wondering how they can deal with us. We've got the mainstream appeal, the right connections, the money, hell, forget Lex Luger, because we're the Total Package, baby! Call it a hostile takeover if you want, but I think we can all agree that no matter what fancy title you pin on it, this company isn't going to be the same with us running the show, right Cal? Malibu passes the mic onto his new friend, and former rival. CALVINSee that, folks? Simple, yet effective. I bet you expected some long, drawn out, Days of Our Lives explanation that Zack and I found out we were really brothers and have decided to make up for the sake of our sick mom or something, right? Well if you want a soap opera, you're on the wrong station. All it comes down to are three things: talent, gold, and the almighty dollar. What you're looking at is an elite force, and the genesis has begun. Say goodbye to the Zack Malibu you knew. Say goodbye to Totally Endorsed and the "comical" Calvin Szechstein. Our time has come, our time is now, and... Calvin is interrupted by the sight of a familiar face coming down the aisle. Into the ring slides Colvid, the protege of Calvin Szechstein. CALVIN Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? COLVID Cal, Zack, you guys have no idea how happy this makes me. Have you seen what Sommers has been putting me through? Quite frankly, I think the kid's gone soft, and we need to take care of him ASAP. Whatever you guys want to do is cool with me, I just... CALVIN Colvid? Were you not paying attention? COLVID To you? Sure, boss, then... CALVIN Then you'd know that no more Totally Endorsed...means no more you. COLVID Bu... Colvid can't even finish, as Malibu clocks him from the side with a forearm shot, knocking him down! Both Malibu and Calvin start stomping on the video-obsessed superstar, before Calvin pulls him up to his feet, allowing Zack to crack him with School's Out! As soon as he hits the canvas, Calvin picks up Colvid and tosses him out to the floor, watching him hit with a sickening crash. CALVIN You see people, this is what we mean. Do you actually think that glorified errand boy was going to ride on my coattails any longer? Zack and I are out to trim the fat. Everyone and anyone is expendable, so to anyone listening in the back, I say... Again, Calvin gets cut off, as the fans pop HUGE for Sly Sommers, who runs down the aisle and right into the ring, tackling Calvin down! Before Malibu can even react, the fans pop again, as CRYSTAL rushes the ring, and does the same to him! COLE We've got a melee going on in the ring! Sly pulls Calvin up and has him in the corner, raining closed fists down on his temple, while Crystal pulls Zack up and sends him into the ropes, only to have Zack put on the brakes and duck out of the ring! Sly pulls Calvin out of the corner, but Zack quickly reaches in and pulls his partner down and slides him out, saving him from an assault from Sommers! CABOOSE You know, we finally had a twenty minute promo that was NEEDED, and these two had to ruin it for me! Sly and Crystal just look at each other, questioning what the other one was doing out there, and with this distraction Malibu and Cal go to sneak back in...but they're caught! The two heels duck back out of the ring, as "Set It Off" begins to play over the roar of the crowd. Sommers and Crystal stare down their foes, Calvin eyeing his old boss and Crystal eyeing her former friend, before the cameras cut to a commercial break. (Go to break)

*return from commercial* The cameras pan over the crowd, stopping on several signs, such as "Hack Mali-BOO," "Dama suks balls," "Crystal for PM," and "Chris Bryte's ass sucks," the last one complete with a fake ass made out of cardboard. COLE Folks, welcome back to Held-- Cole is abruptly cut off by the opening strains of Sevendust's "Black" as the lights dim over the arena. CABOOSE Ha! That's the first time I've ever been glad to hear that man's music! COLE That's cold. The fans pop HUGE as Hoff steps onto the stage! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following match has been set for one fall, and it will determine the #1 contendership to the OAOAST Puerto Rican Championship! CABOOSE Which should be Drek Stone's already. COACH Come on 'Booze, you know Hoff deserves a shot! CABOOSE I know that Drek Stone, the most athletic, talented, and charismatic newcomer to come through our doors in ages is having his toes stepped on by Wonder Woman there. BUFFER Currently heading down the aisle, hailing from Minneapolis, Minnesota, he has dedicated his life to cleaning up the moral trash of this organization...ladies and gentlemen, HOFF!!! Hoff slides into the ring, climbing the turnbuckles and saluting the crowd, pointing to one particularly rabid fan with a "HOFF: Take Out The TRASH" sign. COLE Now, see, that's what you're forgetting, Caboose. Hoff's got a new mission, a new purpose here, and it's to take out guys like Drek Stone! CABOOSE What do you mean, "guys like Drek Stone?" ITALIAN-IST! COLE What? COACH Geez, come on, Cole. COLE I-- But Cole is once again interrupted by the arena speakers: Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You'd Be The Chosen One The fans' cheers turn quickly to boos as Drek steps out onto the stage. BUFFER And his opponent, by way of Brooklyn, New York...A man whose style and grace inside the ring are surpassed only by his style outside of it..."Reckless" DREK STOOOOOOONE!!! Drek smiles smugly at the fans as he makes his way down to ringside, strutting along confidently. CABOOSE There's my man. What a guy. What a... oh, listen to these fans. They're so ungrateful. Jealous, even. COLE I don't think Drek Stone has too many fans at ringside, Caboose. COACH Oh, I don't know, Caboose. Drek does have a certain fashionability to him. Drek calmly enters the ring. He turns away from Hoff, not meeting his gaze, and looks out across the fans, thumping his chest arrogantly and smirking as his impressive pyrotechnics sparkle off of the corner posts. Drek turns around... and gets caught with a double-leg takedown from Hoff! The bell rings and Drek's pyros die off as Hoff begins pummeling Drek with a flurry of fists! The referee pulls Hoff off, warning him while Drek scurries to his corner and pulls himself up. COACH Why does that ref keep pulling him off? CABOOSE Because he's DIRTY! CABOOSE Hoff, or the ref? COACH Hoff, obviously. But maybe the ref too...hmmmm.... COLE Guys, Hoff's been jumping guys before the bell. We've seen this angry streak come out in Hoff as of late, and quite frankly, I like it! COACH Me too! CABOOSE Simps. Give me Drek's quiet confidence any day, over the antics of that pink ranger wanna-be. The referee backs Hoff into the opposite corner, then checks on Drek, who shoves him away and checks his hair. The fans jeer loudly at the arrogant gesture as the referee waves the combatants on. COACH Let's get it on! CABOOSE All right, Mills Lane. COACH Huh? No, no, I was looking at the cover of this month's OAOAST HeldDOWN magazine. Look! The cameras cut back to Sofa Central. Coach holds up a copy of this months OAOAST HeldDOWN Magazine, featuring a photo of Crystal on the cover with the caption "24/7: The Female Phenom Lives For The Business." COLE For crying out loud, Coach. COACH Yeah, and the article is great! CABOOSE Yeah, I'm sure you're reading that for the articles. COACH Uh... *OAOAST HeldDOWN Magazine: The Source For All The Latest. Subscribe Today! 1-555-4-OAOAST* COLE Let's get back to the action in the ring. In the ring, Drek and Hoff lock up in a collar-and-elbow tie up. Drek slips into an arm drag, sending Hoff down to the mat. Drek slips the move into an armbar, but Hoff finds his feet. Drek keeps the armbar locked, but Hoff twists, steps back, and catches Drek in a dorp toe hold, sending him down. Hoff slides forward and slaps on a side headlock, to the delight of the fans. Drek struggles to his knees as Hoff wrenches in on the hold, but Drek finds his feet. Grabbing Hoff's arm, Drek slips his head free from the hold, and applies a hammerlock, wrenching Hoff's arm back. Hoff staggers forward slightly and Drek smiles, but Hoff catches him in the face with a back elbow! COACH Ouch! CABOOSE Right in those perfect teeth. COACH He is a handsome man. COLE Coach? COACH I'm just saying. Drek's head snaps back, and Hoff slips his arm free of the hammerlock. Hoff turns around, and catches Drek with a big right hand that sends him stuttering back. Hoff grabs Drek's arm and whips him in the ropes, catching him coming off with a back elbow that stuns Drek. As Drek reels, Hoff grabs his arm again and twists, doubling Drek over. Hoff quickly releases the arm and, before Drek can react, grabs his neck and takes him over with a snapmare! COACH Quick as a cat, Mikey! COLE Absolutley, but I wouldn't necessarily suggest that Hoff tries to match speed with Drek Stone. CABOOSE Or looks, or ability, or personality... Hoff kneels down behind Drek and locks in a rear chinlock, wearing Drek down. Drek, though, fights back to his feet. Drek elbows Hoff in the ribcage, causing the big man to release the hold, and Drek whips Hoff over with a snapmare of his own! Hoff lands in a seated position, and Drek wastes no time running off the ropes and catching Hoff with a diving dropkick! Hoff whips forward, then falls back! CABOOSE What a move! Everything he does is flawless! COLE Is that right? CABOOSE I can only imagine. Drek hops ot his feet and smiles across the fans, who boo. A "Drek Sucks" chant picks up as Stone drops a knee across Hoff's face. COLE He is so cocky in there... CABOOSE He has a right to be! He's DREK STONE! A consumate professional athlete! COLE You really love this guy, don't you. CABOOSE Who doesn't! Coach? COACH ......well, he is pretty amazing... CABOOSE Damn right. Drek picks Hoff up by the hair, giving him a thumb to the eye for good measure. Drek ignores the ref as he whips Hoff into the buckle, charging in after him with a big clothesline. Hoff sinks into the corner as Drek steps back and unloads with a knife-edge chop. FANS WOOOOOOOOOO! CABOOSE You'd think they'd stop doing that. This isn't even the right promotion. COLE What?! CABOOSE Uh...I mean.... The fans, in the midst of their boos, can't help but "woo" along as Drek unloads chop after chop to Hoff's chest, turning it bright red. After the last chop, Drek whips Hoff into the opposite corner, chraging again, but Hoff raises a boot that catches Drek in the face! COLE Nice counter! CABOOSE What? He lifted his foot. That's easy. The fans cheer as Drek staggers back from the impact, and Hoff charges out of the corner, flattening Drek with a clothesline. Drek gets to his feet again, and again Hoff sends him down. Drek gets up a thrid time, and again, Hoff bowls him over with a clothesline that keeps him down. Hoff tenses and flexes his muscles and roars out to the fans, who shout their love back at him! COACH Hoff's an animal! CABOOSE No, he's a hero, remmeber? A big fat hero, and if you ask me, a big fat zero. COACH Oh, nice line, smarty. God, Cole can do better than that. COLE ...No I can't. Hoff picks Drek up and shoves him into the nearby corner, catching him with a big right hook to the body, and a left, and another. Hoff methodically works over Drek's ribs before finally unloading with a big right hook that almost sends Drek sailing over the top rope! Hoff whips Drek out of the corner...but holds on and turns around, switching the momentum and whipping Drek HARD into the same corner! Drek crumples, holding his back in agony! Hoff look down and begins stomping away at Drek! COACH AND COLE STOMP A MUDHOLE! WALK IT DRY! CABOOSE Jesus. COLE Hey, you never had to work with him. Hoff unloads the series of boots to Drek's midsection before pulling him to his feet. Hoff pulls Drek out of the corner and grabs him for a high angle scoop slam, but Drek shifts his weight and slides down over Hoff's shoulder! Drek lands behind Hoff and rolls him up, grabbing a handful of tights! ONE! TWO! THREE-NO! COLE Drek almost stole it there! CABOOSE That's what you get for wearing those tights, hero. COLE He wears those because he's a WRESTLER. CABOOSE Sure. Drek pops up to his feet and catches Hoff with a clothesline of his own. Drek gets up, and stomps away at Hoff, then picks him up again, smiling out toward the crowd. COLE What's Drek thinking here? Drek grabs Hoff by the head, throwing Hoff's arm over his own neck, and lifts him up, taking him over with a vertical suplex. Drek sits up after the move with a huge grin on his face as the fans boo. Drek grabs Hoff again and lifts him up, bringing him down with another veritcal suplex. COLE Oh man, what arrogance by Drek Stone. CABOOSE It's great. COACH We've seen Hoff do this many times to people, and it's worked every time, and I'd imagine it'll work against him just as well. Drek picks Hoff up and hooks him for a third suplex, but Hoff blocks it! The fans pop as Hoff blocks another attempt by Drek, then reverses the hold into a suplex of his own! Hoff rolls to his feet and grabs Drek, taking him up and over with the move again! Hoff pops up, grabs Drek a thrid time, hooks him in for the move, and lifts him up.... Up..... COLE What power! ...and finally DOWN with a third vertical suplex! The fans cheer as Hoff rolls into a lateral press! ONE! TWO! THREENO~! Drek kicks out! COLE Drek showing some nice resiliency! Hoff's used a lot of wear-down moves in this match so far, but Drek keeps going! CABOOSE You have to understand that Drek is a champion, and has been all his life. He's wrestled for eight years, he's held titles...I think he can take a few suplexes. COACH Well Hoff's gonna test him again....~! Hoff pulls Drek up, then grabs him around the waist and snaps him over with a belly to belly suplex! Hoff floats over into another cover! ONE! TWO! NO! Drek kicks out of the pinfall attempt, drawing a look of frustration from Hoff. Hoff gets to his knees, then his feet. Hoff looks down at Drek for a moment, thinking...then grabs Drek's head and tucks it under his arm. COACH Hoff seems a little unsure in there! COLE He's definitely had a lot on his mind lately. Looks like he could be going for a bulldog here... Hoff runs forward, looking to drive Drek's skull to the mat, but Drek slips free and uses Hoff's momentum to push the big man into the ropes. Hoff rebounds off and comes at Drek with a clothesline, but Drek ducks and grabs Hoff, driving him down with a Side Effect! CABOOSE Yes! Now THAT'S an effective counter. COACH A SIDE-effective counter. CABOOSE Oh, cripes. Just stop. Drek floats into a cover! ONE TWO THREENO~! Hoff gets the shoulder up in the nick of time. Unfazed, Drek picks Hoff back up, catching him with a European Uppercut that spins Hoff around. Drek seizes the opportunity and drives Hoff down with a facebuster! Drek rolls Hoff over for the cover, but Hoff again gets out at two. Drek again picks Hoff up, and this tme simply pulls Hoff's legs out from under him. Drek looks down, grabs Hoff's legs...and applies a Texas Cloverleaf! Drek turns Hoff over and cinches in on the hold! COLE Texas Cloverleaf from Drek here! COACH This is a debilitating move, guys, putting all sorts of pressure on the knees and especially the back of Hoff! CABOOSE Yes yes yes YES! Come on Hoff, tap, dammit! TAP! TAAAAP! The referee checks on Hoff, but Hoff shakes his head no! Drek looks back, and rears back on the hold, causing Hoff to scream out in pain! COLE Will Hoff tap out? Can he hold on? We'll find out! *go to break* Fans, don't forget to buy your Chris Bryte novelty asses now! Pay tribute to one of the funniest OAOAST moments in recent memory! Goof on your friends! The Chris Bryte Fake Ass, available only through this offer! Call now at 1-555-4-OAOAST or order online today! *return from break* COLE Folks, welcome back to the #1 contendership match for the Puerto Rican Title! Here's what you missed during the break: "During the Break" rolls by on the screen, showing Hoff reaching the ropes while locked in the Texas Cloverleaf. The referee calls for the break, but Drek simply lets go, grabs Hoff's legs, drags him away from the ropes, and reapplies the hold. COLE Drek Stone is playing dirty pool, guys. CABOOSE Dirty? I think you mean "smart," Cole! Drek does what it takes to win! And that was legal anyway! COLE It doesn't make it right, Caboose. Drek should have broken the hold-- CABOOSE He did! COLE Anyway, Hoff in some trouble here...hey, wait! The fans cheer as an image of The Mad Cappa appears on the Angletron! Cappa is sitting at a monitor in the back, the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title draped over his shoulder, watching the ongoing match intently. COACH Aw yeah, Mad Cappa in the house! COLE You know Mad Cappa's got a lot of interest in this one! He's gonna face the winner for his title at School's Out! CABOOSE I gotta admit, Drek vs. Cappa should be a hell of a match. COLE Will you stop. In the ring, Drek, catching a glance at the video wall, looks up for a second, momentarily distracted, leaning forward...allowing Hoff to power out of the hold! Hoff kicks his legs free as Drek stumbles forward! CABOOSE Oh, he's pissed now. You DON'T break out of a Drek Stone submission hold. No you don't. Drek's smug visage is replaced by a scowl as he storms toward Hoff, who is holding his back in pain. Drek kicks at Hoff's back HARD, sending spazms through the big man's body. Drek begins to tear into Hoff, kicking wildly! Drek leans down and yells "STUNAD!" right in Hoff's face, drawing a round of boos from the crowd. Drek levels one last, HARD kick at Hoff's back before turning to the fans and pounding his chest, drawing a HUGE chorus of jeers! COLE Drek is showing his reckless side here! CABOOSE It's how he got the nickname, Cole. No respect for his opponent's health or safety. Drek picks Hoff up, and grabs him by the head, positioning him for the STONECUTTER!! COLE If Drek hits this it could be over right here! CABOOSE You mean it WILL be over! COACH I hate to agree with Caboose, but-- whoa! Wait a minute! Drek grabs Hoff's tights to lift him for the move, but Hoff uses a free arm to hit Drek in the ribs! Drek drives an eblow into Hoff's back in response, but Hoff hits him again! Drek lifts bothn his hands free to drive a double-axehandle blow to Hoff's spine... But Hoff counters into a bridging Northern Lights suplex! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! NO!!!!! Drek BARELY kicks out of the bridge! COLE Hoff was an eyelash away there! COACH Drek picked the wrong day to have a DDT as a finisher! CABOOSE Picked the...damn, you are SUCH a moron! COACH Maybe, but your boy just got served! CABOOSE I-- argh. Drek actually beats Hoff to his feet after the Northern Lights Suplex, but gets met with a right hand to the gut! Hoff climbs off of his knees, and delivers another right hand to Drek, and another, and sends him into the ropes, catching him...with the SPINEBUSTER~! COACH He said he would! COLE And he did! The cover! ONE! TWO! THREENO!!! COLE Drek barely gets the shoulder up, but he is in trouble here! CABOOSE Oh, come on, Drek, come on... Hoff pops to his feet after the SPINEBUSTER~, and looks down at Drek, before looking out across the fans and finally allowing himself a smile. CABOOSE Oh I don't like this. COACH This could be the end, boys! Hoff picks Drek up, holding the woozy Italian's hair in his hand before screaming out, "H-BOMB!!!" COLE The H-Bomb! God, we haven't seen this for months! COACH Hoff's been using the Rock Bottom but that H-Bomb...oh my! COLE A powerbomb into a spinebuster, I don't know if ANYONE can get up from that! Hoff throws Drek into a standing headscissors, reaches down, and flips him up onto his shoulders...but Drek shifts his weight and slips down over Hoff's shoulder, rolling Hoff up and grabbing a handful of tights!!! COLE Not like this! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!! *ding ding ding* The fans begin to boo like mad as Drek pops to his feet, raising his hands in victory. BUFFER The winner of this bout, DREK STOOOOONE!! CABOOSE YES YES YES! Drek does it again! COLE That was despicable. Drek used the tights to-- CABOOSE Drek outwrestled Hoff, Cole. Pure and simple. Drek rests on the turnbuckle, keeping one arm raised. The referee raises his arm in victory, then rolls out of the ring as Drek stands up and smiles a big grin out over the rabid crowd. CABOOSE What perfect teeth! Well Cole, guess your hero didn't get the job done, and-- AH! Drek, still smiling, turns around... RIGHT INTO A ROCK BOTTOM! The fans ERUPT as Hoff drives Drek to the canvas, popping to his feet and screaming at him! COACH Oh yeah! CABOOSE This is UNCALLED FOR! COLE Hoff getting some small measure of satisfaction after having the match stolen from him! CABOOSE STOLEN?! STOLEN?! Cole, I oughta-- OH NO! He's gonna do it again! COACH Yeah! Hoff picks Drek up by the hair, throws him into position, and drives him down with ANOTHER Rock Bottom! CABOOSE What the hell?! Somebody stop him! Hoff said he was going to punish the wicked, and...oh, no. CABOOSE !!! COLE Oh, my. COACH Again?! Hoff picks Drek up again, and levels a HARD glare into Drek's glazed eyes. Hoff grabs Drek around the neck, lifts him up, and DRIVES him to the mat with a THIRD Rock Bottom! Hoff pops to his feet, glaring down at Drek as the fans chant his name! CABOOSE Listen to these idiots! This is horrible! What kind of superhero is this man? "Black" starts up as Hoff leaves the ring after one last glance at Drek. CABOOSE Well, depsite what the sound guy seems to believe, the winner of this match was DREK STONE, and it'll be him, NOT Hoff, vs. The Mad Cappa at School's Out this month. COLE Yeah, but Hoff made his point. These kinds of actions will not be tolerated. "Black" fades out, and after a minute or so, Drek slowly gets to his feet, raising his hand in victory. CABOOSE There's your winner. God, poor guy... COLE Well Caboose, you're right, at School's Out it will be that man, Drek Stone, against The Mad Cappa for the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title. But we've got more action ahead here, so stay tuned! *fade to commercial*

(RETURN) HeldDOWN~! returns, but rather than live footage of the announce crew, the crowd, or the backstage area that usually greets us, instead, we get a crackling screen, with footage that looks slightly grainy. The words "Via Satellite" then scroll across the bottom of the screen, and in the background you can hear "Make Her Say" by O-Town playing. The screen shows a nightclub, somewhere in this world, and the camera then turns to point the man holding it, Scotty Static of the Globaly Party Exchange. SCOTTY YO, peoples! Scotty Static comin' to ya live and in technicolor, as me and Johnny are at The Hot Box in Hotlanta, GA, doin' a little filmin' for our special "GPX-rated" webcasts. Now me and Johnny are doin' our thang here tonight, but we just saw what happened a little while ago with Black T and Stevie JoJo, and we gots somethin' to say to that. YO, JOHNNY! Static calls out to his partner, who walks through a crowd of very attractive, under-25 women. Jackson grabs the camera from Scotty, giving us an extreme close up of his face, hidden behind the trendiest sunglasses money can buy. JOHNNY Yo, Johnny Jam here, sayin' what's up to all the fans watchin' this right now, and callin' out those two suckas Dan Black and Tony The Body. You guys mighta gotten over on us last week, but even the sun will one day shine on a dog's ass. I have no idea what that really means, but the gist is, you boys are just holding on to what we deserve. We made it to hell and back with The Minions, we lit up that tournament like a bonfire, and you boys had to get all down and dirty? That's all well and good, because you take it to the pay per view, you pick anything you want for our match. Tables, ladders, chairs, straps, hell, bring 'em all. Let's make history, and after we do, you'll BE history! It's time to party up and throw down, boys...the GPX is ready to cross "The T" and we're gonna come and dot your eyes too! Believe it, playas! Jackson hands the camera back to Scotty, who looks into it and adds a "YAHTZEE~!" for no real reason whatsoever, before fiddling with the camera controls (while still looking into it) and then shutting it down, thus cutting out the signal and the screen turns to static. (Break) (Return from break) Cole: We’re back live and Dan Black (cut) Caboose: The MAN! Dan Black Cole: Excuse me Mr. Caboose. The Man Dan Black and his tag team partner T-Bod, the new Tag Team Champions, are in the ring…waiting. Caboose: They can do whatever they want! Cole: Suckup. Caboose: You. Cole: Me. Caboose: Yes. You. Suckup Cue: “Aww Naww’ Caboose: A! Cole: Stephen Joseph making his presence felt, could it have to do with Dan Black and T-Bod? Stephen Joseph, complete with “OAOAST Savior” T-Shirt (with accomplishments on back) walks out from behind the HeldDown Stage with a microphone, a clipboard, and paper on the clipboard. As his song continues and he walks down the rampway, the HeldDown fans boo, Dan Black stands there with a curious look, and T-Bod is applauding. Stephen slides into the ring, his neck now healthy again, and stands up. Stephen Joseph So great to be here on HeldDown today. (loudly) Yeah…Right. Didn’t I warn you LAST YEAR at this time that Zack ONLY wanted the title. That he DIDN’T care what you fans thought, that it was all a show. Well, you were once blind, but now you see don’t you…I WAS RIGHT! I’m Allllways right, and that’s why I’m here today. Still here, with chumps like Caboose just commentating how good my ass looks in these pants, Right Caboose? (Fans Boo) Stephen Joseph But enough of my self-ingratiation, I’m here for a reason tonight. Dan, T-Bod congratulations on your winning the Tag Team Titles. Sure Dan, you nearly ended my life on two legs, but you did what you had to do to prove a point. And while the Tag Team Belt looks good on you, a World Title would look…much…better, in time, of course, because I have another individual who I want to topple Mr. Zack (censored)’ing Malibu. Congratulations Dan and T-Bod…Can we applaud their great accomplishments? (Fans Boo) ::Stephen shakes the hands of T-Bod, then pauses at Dan before shaking his hand as well. Looks like that is behind them:: Dan Black So why bring us out here, just to congratulate us? Stephen Joseph That, and to sign you both to a match at my PPV, School’s Out: Class Dismissed coming up in a few weeks. Against G-P-X. Dan & T-Bod GPX?! (fans cheer) Dan We beat them Popick! What the…who’s friend are you now? Stephen Joseph Dan, you’re too presumptuous. I said you were going to have a Tag Team Title Match against GPX. You have to, its in your contract, and they’re the top contenders. I didn’t say it was all bad. T-Bod We’re…listening. Stephen Joseph Because at School’s Out, Class Dismissed, Black T faces GPX … in any match, with any rules, that Black T wants. Cole: Black T faces GPX Caboose: And Popick puts the odds in the old iZ wrestlers’ favor. Someone should FIRE HIM! Cole: What will Black T choose for their match? Will GPX be even able to survive…What will they think? (fade to commercial)

(Return) COLE: Now it is time for the the return of a man that I am very interested in seeing. I actually saw him backstage before we went on the air and it should be interesting to see how the events of the last month have affected the man we call PK. CABOOSE: I’ll bet he still sucks. COLE: Let’s go to the ring. DA BUFFMAN: *Bell rings* Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, from Jefferson City, Missouri, weighing in at 230 pounds, Tom”CapitALLLLLLLLL” Gor-annnn!!! Goran acknowledges the crowd by raising his arm and extending his index finger. COACH: Wow, Randy Quaid has really let himself go. PK is facing THIS guy? CABOOSE: Apparently Abe had never heard of PK and thought he was some new guy, so he put him against this jobber. COACH: They’re “enhancement talent”, Caboose. CABOOSE: And the guy that made my sub today was a “sandwich artist”, right? CUE: Oh Hell Yeah (Remix) The crowd explodes as a new version of PK’s theme blasts through the sound system and blue strobe lights illuminate the dark arena. A single spotlight shines on Peter Knight as he steps through the curtain. He is wearing his familiar blue singlet and black pants, but his head is almost clean shaven, and a dirty blonde goatee has grown in. He is also wearing black leather gloves with the finger holes cut out. BUFFER: And his opponent, from Fall River, Massachusetts, weighing in at 274 pounds, Peterrrrrrrrr Knight! COLE: You heard right, folks, Knight has bulked up by about 20 pounds since he was gone, and seems to have changed his look a bit. CABOOSE: He’s also still got that shiner on his eye. He hasn’t taken a break from getting his ass kicked, I see. Knight walks up the steps onto the apron and steps through the ropes as the house lights come back up and his music fades. He pulls on the ropes and adjusts his gloves as the ref gives instructions. The crowd starts up a moderate “P-K”! chant as the ref signals for the bell and the two men circle and lockup. Goran backs Knight into the corner and holds him there while the ref starts his count. 1…..2……3……4, and Goran breaks, but he gives Knight a little shove as he does so. They lockup again, and again Goran gets the advantage and backs Knight into the corner. 1…..2…..3…..4, and Goran breaks, and gives Knight a harder shove. COLE: Goran grabbing the advantage early on in this one, but Knight is visibly getting very angry. CABOOSE: See, I told you, Knight learned nothing. They circle and lockup once more, and once again Goran backs Knight into the corner, and waits until the count reaches four before breaking, but this time he does so with a slap to Knight’s face. Knight immediately retaliates by almost taking Goran’s head off with a clothesline. COACH: Let that be a lesson: don’t piss off a guy with a goatee. Knight picks Goran up and sends him off the ropes. Goran ducks a clothesline, but Knight connects with a jumping side kick to the face on the rebound. Knight picks him up and dumps him over the top, following him to the floor. Knight scoops him up and drops him onto the barrier and whips him hard into the ringpost before tossing Goran back in. Once back in the ring, Knight fires off a HARD clothesline, and another, and one more as the crowd gets whipped up into a frenzy. COACH: He’s channeling the Ultimate Warrior! Knight waits until a woozy Goran gets to his feet and then takes him down with a standing dropkick! Knight then mounts Tom, and slugs away as Goran tries to cover up. COLE: We’re seeing moves that I don’t recall PK ever using before. He’s also being VERY aggressive, not letting Goran breathe in there. Knight begins to choke him, and the ref starts his count. 1….2…..3….4…..5, and the ref is forced to get involved and pulls Knight off Goran and gives him a warning. Knight pushes the ref aside and picks Goran up, but Goran reverses a whip and sends Knight into the corner. Goran charges, but Knight sidesteps him and Goran rams his own shoulder into the post. Knight then goes to town on the shoulder, starting with ramming it into the corner once…..twice…..three times, and driving his own left shoulder into it. Knight wrings the arm and spins Goran to the mat, dropping a leg on the shoulder. Goran gets up, his left arm hanging by his side, and takes a swing at Knight with his good arm, but Knight ducks it and delivers a belly to back suplex, driving his head and shoulder into the mat. COLE: Man, we are just speechless here. Knight is quite literally tearing Tom Goran apart! Knight yanks Goran to his feet, goes behind and takes him down with a Russian leg sweep, but he holds onto his arm and locks in a variation of the octopus stretch! COACH: And now a submission move! We are seeing some new weapons in the arsenal. CABOOSE: Ok, maybe he DID learn something. Knight yanks back on the arm and shoulder of Goran while wrapping his legs around his throat. Goran struggles for the ropes for a moment, but realizes the futility of that and taps out. BUFFER: Here is your winner, by submission, Peterrrrrrrrrrr Knight!! The electrified crowd goes bonkers as Knight’s music starts again, but Knight keeps the hold on after the bell. The ref quickly starts his five count and the timekeeper frantically rings the bell as Knight still won’t let go. The ref threatens to reverse his decision and Knight finally lets go. COLE: Well, it sure looks like PK has come back with a purpose tonight. I wouldn’t want to be Goran, or Knight’s next opponent, whoever that may be. Goran rolls on the mat in extreme pain as the ref raises Knight’s hand, but he quickly jerks it back down and looks over his fallen opponent while the ref checks on him. Knight exits the ring and starts up the ramp, but he stops and looks at the highlights of the match on the HeldTron, which includes Goran’s slap that set him off. Knight exhales sharply and turns back towards the ring, sliding in as the ref is trying to help Goran up. The ref tries to get in his way, but Knight roughly shoves him aside and slaps the submission hold back on, as Goran screams in pain. The ref recovers and calls for help to get Knight under control. Various OaOast officials enter the ring and all try to get Knight to stop. CABOOSE: You know, I’m starting to like this guy. COLE: Things have gotten a bit out of hand here. We’ll take a break and get this problem settled. Stay tuned to HeldDown, folks!! (BREAK!)

(Come back) LAST WEEK 9:45 EASTERN TIME Dan and TB snatch a tag belt each, holding them up in celebration, before hugging. Jivin’ JR skips back into the ring, nodding seriously at the new champs. Dan turns to JR, a new look of respect on his face, and shakes his hand. T-Bod, grinning, does the same. FADE TO BLACK.... BLACK T DRESSING ROOM 9:48 P.M. EASTERN TIME The champagne is flowing inside Black T's dressing room as the NEW OAOAST Tag Team Champions celebrate, surround by beautiful women. DAN Life is made up of one guarantee: There are winners and losers. The wealthly, middle class, lower class...nothing. If you flip burgers for a living, you are a loser. If you drive the fastest cars out there, date the finest women Hollywood can offer, and wear custom-made clothes, you, my friend, are a winner. Basically, greed is right. Greed works. Take the touranment to declare new tag team champions for example. Global Party Xchange vs. Dan Black & T-Bod -- Black T. We -- Black T -- were greedy, we wanted more. In the end, it paid off as we now have in our possession the OAOAST tag titles. GPX, you are nothing more but street punks! You see them hanging out at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue or 10th Downing Street, and they're arrested on the spot. Black T on the otherhand are high class all the way. 5 star hotels, the best restuarants world wide, women -- and even guys -- throwing themseleves on you. Are Black T full of themseleves? You bet your ass we are. It's not our fault we're-- T-BOD (Off screen) Gr-rrrreat! DAN (CONT'D) (pointing at T-Bod) This man knows the OAOAST inside-out. His incredible contributions have been terribily disrespected from day one. This gentleman was the only person in the OAOAST who took time out to help me with anything I needed, and had enough convidence in me from the very day I became GM of IZ. Unlike those wannabes upstairs, this man knows what it takes to get to the top of the mountain. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, from Hollywood U.S.A., he's Simply Ravishing, he's T-Bod! T-Bod enters the screen and shakes Dan Black's hand. Dan pours champagne over Tony's head. T-BOD That's right people. It is I, T-Bod. OAOAST Tag Team Championships: Mission Accomplished. Mr. Black, it is without question, an honor and complete pleasure to be working with you. Thus far, winning the tag team titles has been the greatest accomplishment of my career. The key to tag team wrestling is simple: teamwork. Black T is a collective unit. You see, when I became involved in OAOAST affairs the OAOAST was between a rock and a hard place. Nobody, and I mean nobody, had a clue where to take this uncontrolable monster until I became involved. I took over a prison that let the inmates run the asylum. That all changed when I became the warden. Over the course of 2 months I built the OAOAST to massive heights. The first Pay-Per-View held under my leadership -- The Great Angle Bash -- was the most watched event at that time. AngleMania III, the final major event under my watch -- before Anglesault took over and left me and others to run that sham of an administration -- destroyed all OAOAST box office records. Records that still stand till this very day. But I'm not here to toot my own horn; I have seen every person walk through that entrance since day one -- liars, cheats...You name it, I saw it. I've seen guys come in as young up-and-comers, and leave like former WWE Champion Brock Lesnar -- big headed. Guys will bullshit you in front of your face. Once they're outta your view, they'll start bad mouthing you. That pisses Dan and I off. You can tell the guys who are here to earn a living, or just want power. People hate success. Hell, the OAOAST is the personification of an American success story: A little mom and pop business who stood in front of the superstore and told them to kiss our ass! Sunday night my phone rang, I checked my Caller ID and it said "Black, Dan." I pick up the phone and the first thing Dan tells me is, "Ton', I want you as my tag team partner." After being overwhelmed with such an honor, within seconds I respone with "You got it." Just like that the greatest tag team in OAOAST history was born. Think about it. I mean this team has it all. The brains, the money, and the talent. When you're sick, besides the usual drink lots of fluids and eat soup deal, a lot of people will tell you to drink tea. Well, in due time the OAOAST's tag division will come down with a cold, and we'll serve it with an unhealthy dose of...BLACK T~! Because you see, Dan & I are like the American (looks at Dan) -- and British -- armed forces: We can take what we want, when we want, if we want. DAN Since we've won the tag titles moments ago, we've already gotten calls from all over the world. T-Bod's good friend, President George W. Bush called to congratulate us. He also promised to take care of any problems we might have. (So if you own Tony or myself any money, etc., you better pay now or a cruise missle is coming threw your front door. And you don't have to leaves the lights on.) Even the Queen called from Buckingham Palace -- where I let her live, I might add. T-BOD So very generous of you, Mr. Black. Haha! DAN (pauses as T-Bod pours champagne over him; wiping his eyes) Everybody who's anybody has been contacting us. T-BOD(looking to his right) J.R.! The room erupts in cheers, as the "Farmer of Champions," good ol' J.R. enters the picture, jivin' like only he can. J.R. (pouring a carton of milk over himself) Good 'ol J.R. is proud to be the Farmer of Champions. I just came back from ringside, where GPX were crying like one of STONE COLD, STONE COLD, STONE COLD'S wives. Everybody fell for our trap. Lemme tell ya somethin'. Foreshadowing is the greatest weapon of all. The way we duped the entire wrestling world into thinking Dan and I parted ways, reminded me when I was a child, hogtieing those uncontrolable steers down at my daddy's farm in Oklahoma. Dan mentioned me being from Texas when everybody knows yours truely is Boomer Sooner through-and-through, all the way down to MAH fat lil' toes. Foreshadowing at its finest. The tag team divison was a sucking pond. People will claim they saw -- and the footage might indicate I had a role in the outcome -- me cause GPX the match, but to quote the greatest American President of all-time, Richard Nixon -- (doing a horrible Nixon impression and his famous salute) "I'm not a crook." J.R. jives his way to the ladies hanging out in the back, where they proceed to rip off his shirt. DAN Truer words were never spoken. Thank you J.R. As of right now, I'm here putting everyone involved in the OAOAST on notice: Do as we say, or get the hell outta the way. Tony & I have huge goals! Some of you will reek the rewards, others will become footnotes in history. We already hold the tag titles, so heed the warning. In the background, Jivin' J.R. -- only in his underwear -- is rolling on the floor like a pig rolls around in mud, as the lovely ladies pour milk on him. T-BOD Be prepared, ladies. Be prepared. Black T hold up their titles as the camera ZOOMS IN on the OAOAST Tag Team Championships. FADE TO BLACK... (No pun intended) (Break)

(Return from break) (The cameraman arrives at Sharky’s Bar and we see J. Arthur Edwards sitting at a table filled with shot glasses and beer bottles. He is arm wrestling a burly woman and losing. At the bar Rick Edwards sips on a beer and laughs at J.A.E.’s misfortune. The bar suddenly goes quiet as AJ Flaire appears at the doorway.) RICK AJ! So glad you could make it. Take a seat. *AJ hesitates, but finally sits down on the stool next to Rick.* RICK Here have a beer. *Hands him a beer* AJ Cut the crap. You didn’t invite me here to have a beer together. What’s your deal? RICK I invited you here to make you an offer. AJ What could you possibly offer me? RICK I can offer you a way out. AJ A way out of what? RICK A way out of the beating I’m gonna have to give you for that X-Title. We all know that your back is mush and the doctors are telling you not to wrestle. In fact I’ve seen your X-Ray’s. AJ How the hell did you see those!? J. ARTHUR (Now standing behind AJ) I have connections. Don’t forget that I work for the best law firm in the country. My boss can get me just about anything I want. AJ Well your boss isn’t getting you my X-Title. Especially not this way! RICK Listen AJ! You can forfeit the title over to me and save your career, or you can go through with a match with me and become crippled! AJ I’d rather be crippled than give you my title! RICK I’m sorry bud, but that’s the wrong answer! *J. Arthur suddenly breaks a beer bottle over the back of AJ’s head! A woman screams as Rick proceeds to punch AJ in the gut and shove him on top of a pool table. Rick goes to grab him, but AJ grabs a pool ball and smacks him in the head with it! Rick stumbles back against the bar as blood trickles down his forehead.* RICK You son of a bitch! *AJ staggers off the pool table and keeps himself from falling over by grabbing the arm of a nearby drunk. J. Arthur then breaks a pool cue across AJ’s back, causing him to cry out in immense pain. AJ falls to the floor, but Rick picks him back up and hits the Rough Break on AJ! AJ crashes to the ground, hard on his back, and cries out again in pain. Rick and J.A.E. then leave AJ lying on the floor in pain.* RICK You chose your fate bitch! You’re gonna get what’s comin’ to ya! *Rick and J.A.E. leave the bar as the camera zooms in on AJ cringing in pain.* (Take me the arena, cock sucking piece of shit!) *All of the lights go out in the arena as two green headlights shine from the entrance way. “Scarecrow Man” by the Misfits begins to play over the arena’s speakers. The fans stand and boo as Skull Kid makes an appearance on stage.* ANNOUNCER The following bout is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring from Mexico City! Weighing in at 175 pounds...........SKULL KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *The fans continue to boo as Kid stoically makes his way to the ring and climbs in showing absolutely no emotion.* COLE Here we go! Skull Kid vs. Ryan Smith! Smith is once again having problems with Damaramu only this time he’s dealing with not just Dama but Dama’s cult as well! *The OU Fight Song blares through the arena as the fans go wild! Ryan Smith runs out onto the stage pumping his fist to the air as the wild cheers continue!* ANNOUNCER And his opponent! From Norman Oklahoma! Weighing in at 228 pounds.......RYAN SMITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Smith slaps the fans hands as he makes his way to the ring. He stops at the base of the ramp talking a little trash to the emotionless Skull Kid. Finally Smith slides into the ring and pumps his fist to the crowd one more time! The ref gets both men to there corners and....... DING! DING! DING!* COLE And we’re underway! This is the first meeting between Skull Kid and Ryan Smith! *Both men lock up in the middle of the ring. Smith ends up rolling Kid into an arm drag. Kid quickly bounds to his feet and comes back at Smith receiving yet another armdrag. Kid tries to come in one more time and Smith decks him!* COACH Well looks like Smith didn’t want to play any typical cruiserweight games! *Smith pulls Skull Kid up and tosses him into the corner by his hair where Smith starts delivering hard chops to Kid’s bare chest. The fans “whoo” along with each chop. Smith pulls him out of the corner and irish whips him into the opposite corner! Smith comes flying in with a hard stinger splash!* COLE Smith is super angry at the Cult and he’s not holding anything back! CABOOSE He’s throwing Kid around like he’s nothing! *The rage of Ryan Smith continues as he pulls Kid out of the corner and quickly drops to his knees and takes Kid over with a fireman’s carry. Kid comes to a sitting position and Smith jumps up delivering a hard kick to his back! Kid winces in pain and arches his back as Smith hits the opposite ropes.......dropkick to the sitting Kid’s face! The fans cheer in approval as the beating from Smith continues! Smith pulls Kid up by the hair and begins to deliver hard boxer-like rights and lefts to Kid’s face. Kid is backed up to the ropes, Smith with an irish whip.........high back body drop! Smith hits the ropes......legdrop! Pin!* 1!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!! Kid kicks out! *Smith grabs Kid and pulls him to his feet going for a german suplex! Smith lifts him.......Kid flips onto his feet! Kid tries to run in but is met with a clothesline!* COLE This is a pretty one sided affair! COACH We know when Smith is pissed that there is no stopping him! *Smith pulls Kid back up and then delivers the german suplex! Kid looks loopy...Smith sends him flying into the ropes with an irish whip...Kid reverses.......Smith goes for a clothesline.....Kid ducks and stops on a dime! Kid spins around and kicks Smith right between the legs from behind with blinding speed!* COLE Oh my god! I don’t even know if the ref saw that! *Kid grabs Smith around the face from behind and yanks him back bringing him down on his head! Kid gets to his feet over Smith who is starting to come to his feet. Kid is fighting some cobwebs but then he begins to deliver hard kicks to Smith! Smith tries to block the martial arts kicks but he can’t get his arms up in time! Kid rolls Smith out of the ring with his hard kicks.......Kid hits the opposite ropes.........SPRING BOARD MOONSAULT TO THE OUTSIDE!* COLE What a move! Skull Kid is so fast! *The fans cheer at the high risk move they just saw as Kid fights to his feet and pulls Smith up......Kid with a short irish whip into the ring post! The ref begins to admonish Kid for the move but Kid just ignores him putting Smith back into the ring. Kid gives the symbol for the Michinoku Driver.....he picks Smith up........AND DROPS HIM STRAIGHT ON HIS HEAD! Pin!* 1!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SMITH KICKS OUT! *The fans go nuts as Skull Kid looks angry that Smith wasn’t put away so easily. Kid heads to the top rope giving the sign for the 450 legdrop!* COLE Here we go! He nearly takes people’s heads off with this move! *Smith is back to his feet and he run up the ropes.......pop up belly to belly! Both men are down! The fans begin chanting for Smith.......Smith slowly helps himself up on the ropes as Skull Kid starts to get up......Smith hits the ropes......SWINGING SLEEPER DROP! 1!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* DING! DING! DING! COLE Wow! Just like that Smith takes out one of the Cult members! ANNOUNCER Here is your winner........RYAN SMITH!!!!!!!!! *The fans stand and cheer but suddenly the cheers turn to boo’s as Ryan Smith turns right around into a Skull Mask big boot! Damaramu slides into the ring from out of nowhere with a metal pipe! Skull Mask grabs Smith by the back of the head and pulls him up.......Dama winds.........AND SMACKS SMITH RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE WITH THE STEEL PIPE! SMITH’S NOSE IMMEDIATELY GUSHES BLOOD! THE FANS ARE BOOING!* COLE He probably broke his nose! CABOOSE HAHAHAHA! *Dama grabs a microphone as Smith lays flat on his back out cold.* DAMA You see Ryan......you can beat one of us........*points at Skull Kid laying on the ground*....but you can’t beat all of us! *Paramedics rush from the back to help Ryan Smith as the Cult exits the ring. Skull Mask grabs Skull Kid and pulls him along with him as Damaramu walks out in front of them hugging his blood soaked pipe. The fans throw garbage and boo as the sick display continues up the ramp.* COLE This is terrible! Ryan Smith will never be able to beat them all himself! CABOOSE Well then he’s GONE! FADE TO BLACK (Take a break)