Patty O'Green

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- Put the party on hold though as we find ourselves stationed outside the back door of the arena. There waiting stands JOSIE BAKER, flanked by the arena's security team. As Josie stands with her arms folded impatiently, the door opens and the security team stand their ground, surrounding the door, blocking the entrance of LEON RODEZ, who carries the OAOAST Money In The Bank briefcase. JOSIE Hold it right there, Leon. Stopped in his tracks, Leon scowls at the security, who are ready incase he makes any sharp moves. JOSIE Now, are you going to hand that thing over, or are you going to play stupid? Leon, much like the security, stands his ground. JOSIE Alright, fine. Get the case. Giving the order, Josie watches as two of the security guards step forward and ask for the case to be handed over. Leon just stands there. So, the guards resort to brute force and grab the case... and find themselves unable to wrestle it away. Leon continues to stand, barely moved by this attempt to steal what he's stolen. Instead he stares straight at Josie, as the security guards back off. They turn to Josie as well, waiting for her to notice, under Leon's sleeve, the briefcase HANDCUFFED to Leon's wrist!!!! LEON Not so stupid after all, am I? Leon breezes past the guards, Josie too stunned to give them any orders to stop him. She looks dumbfounded for a moment, then snarls, angry at being one-upped. We're taken directly to sofa central where Michael Cole and The Coach sit wearing Orange HeldDOWN~! polo shirts. COLE Welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! ladies and gentlemen! I am Michael Cole joined by Johnathan Coachman to call the action as it happens in The Nation's Capital! And what a sure we have tonight. COACH Word, we've got the debut of Victor Perez, plus the Orange County Cobras will be in action and we'll hear from world champ and new tag team champ Mister Dick. COLE And in our mainevent, Landon Maddix seeks Heartland gold against Denzel Spencer TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT HEARTLAND TITLE LANDON MADDIX VS DENZEL SPENCER TONIGHT "Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park, creating a dark mood over the arena. Boos ring out as Leon Rodez emerges through the entrance way. Dressed in a plain black zip up jacket and jeans, Leon stalks down the aisle, clutching in his arms the Money In The Bank briefcase, still handcuffed to his arm. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... LLLEEEEEEOOOONN RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Not a warm welcome, but the welcome you'd expect for Leon. Coming to a stop in the middle of the aisle, Leon looks down at the briefcase in his hands, then up to the skies as the song suddenly erupts and the lights flash back and forth from purple to white static. "I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" Leon carries on to the ring, briefcase hanging from the cuffs as he climbs up the ring steps. COLE As of last week, we thought we had seen the back of Leon Rodez. He had walked out on the OAOAST, a protest strike against the fact he is no longer in line for an OAOAST World Heavyweight Title shot. And we thought that was a desperate measure. But it turns out, we hadn't seen anything yet. AngleMania IX, we saw the most desperate of desperate measures. Leon Rodez sat in the crowd, biding his time, waiting for the eight competitors in the Money In The Bank Ladder Match to pick each other apart, before running in and STEALING the Money In The Bank briefcase! In a match he wasn't even in, Leon climbed the ladder, grabbed the briefcase and robbed the bank! Huge controversy and controversy which still hasn't been cleared up! COACH Everybody thought he'd given up, thrown in the towel. And he was one step ahead of everyone. Leon demands a microphone and stands in the centre of the ring, holding the briefcase in his other hand and scowling at the fans. "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" Going to speak, Leon is stopped by the chants. COLE This crowd not too happy with the way Leon Rodez stole that briefcase. LEON You people can boo me... you can yell at me... and you can call me every name under the sun. I... don't... care! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" LEON And you can all say what you want about what I did at Anglemania. All the "rules" I broke. You can preach about morality. Right and wrong. And I don't care about that either! Because I've been on the recieving end of the wrongs for far too long now. So, you'll forgive me if I don't feel sorry for Alfdogg. Or for Baron Windels. Or for Tha Puerto Rican. You'll forgive me for not feeling guilty about what I did. Because, people say... two wrongs don't make a right. But I've had more than one wrong done to me lately. A well-timed shot of a fan holding a "CRYBABY LEON" sign is thrown in mid-whine. LEON See, ever since I had the OAOAST World Title stolen from me, I've been frozen out. Josie Baker has been victimising me. Just like she's been victimising Morgan. Picking on the vulnerable. Kicking us while we're down. So, you'll forgive me if you think what I did at Anglemania was... "unfair". Was it "fair" when I was robbed of my title? Was it "fair", when I didn't get my rematch? Was it "fair" when I was forced to qualify for the Lethal Rumble? It wasn't fair. Life isn't fair. But sometimes... sometimes, you get on over on life. Sometimes an opportunity comes along... and you take it. Because you know life isn't going to give you anything. You have to take it. Steal it from under somebody's nose. They'd do the same to you. Fair or not. Leon looks down at the briefcase again. LEON Do you people realise... the damage this briefcase has done? Leon thrusts the briefcase forward into the camera. LEON Do you people realise the anguish this damn briefcase has lead to!? Everything that's gone wrong for me this past year! It's ALL because of this briefcase! It was because of THIS briefcase that Krista... Krista was able to ruin the one, brief moment of happiness I had last year, stealing my World Title the same day that I won it!! It was because of THIS briefcase... that Reject was able to steal the title from under my nose, right when I was about to get my revenge on her!! It's THIS briefcase! So don't TELL me what's fair and what's not fair about this! This briefcase can't ruin my life anymore! It can't hurt me anymore! Because it's MINE! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" LEON And whether you like it, or you don't like it... there's nothing anybody can do about it! Leaving the ring, Leon goes over to the announce table and slams the briefcase down in front of Michael Cole. Flipping it open Leon demands a pen, which Coach timidly hands over, having it ripped out of his hands. Suddenly, Josie Baker appears on the stage, backed up by the security from earlier. COLE Here's someone who might have something to say about that. JOSIE That's where you're wrong, Leon. That isn't your briefcase, it's not your contract and you won nothing on Sunday. So I suggest you stop this, right now. LEON Oh, I've only just begun, Josie! Tired of the games, Josie sends the security down to ringside. Frantically, Leon scrawls his signature on the contract inside, to another chorus of boos. He balls the contract up, throws it in the briefcase and locks it back up, then wards off the security while he slides back into the ring. LEON Mine or not, it's got my name on it. And as for your goons... Leon holds up his hands, showing off the handcuffs tying the briefcase to his arm, jangling them about for effect. LEON ...I'd like to see them get it off me. Unless you feel like sawing my arm off at the bone, I suggest you get used to this. JOSIE Well, I suggest you don't get used to it, Leon. Because you didn't win that briefcase, so you have no right to a title shot, no matter what you've scrawled on that contract. And I can get this issue sorted very easily with OAOAST management, to ensure that that contract isn't worth the paper it's written on, so long as your name is written on it. Leon looks up at Josie from the ring... and if you didn't know better, you'd swear that a smile was forming on his face. Josie seems taken aback that Leon wouldn't be taking her threat seriously. JOSIE You don't believe me? Try me. LEON Try you? No, Josie, you try me! See how that works for you. The way I see it... possession is nine-tenths of the law... and the other tenth? You're going to struggle to get that. You think the OAOAST are going to listen to you on this? Fine. Go to OAOAST management. Go to the courts. Go to wherever. I'm not worried. Not one bit. By the time I cash this contract in, you'll still be pleading your case. Your credibility is shot, Josie. I'll fight you all the way. And do you really want to start that fight, Josie? After all, what was it you said on Sunday... "the OAOAST is unpredictable"... "sometimes you have to shake up the status quo"? Realising her own words are being used against her, Josie begins to get a sinking feeling. LEON That's spin. Manipulation. I can do that too, Josie. Sure, I wasn't in the match and I grabbed the briefcase. But, I shook up the status quo by doing it. No different from you giving someone winning a Women's Title... when they weren't even supposed to be in a Women's Title match. No? Unless you think OAOAST management would see things differently. In which case, go ahead. Go to them. I've got nothing to lose, Josie. What about you? Josie sticks her hands on her hips, shaking her head. She mulls things over as she leaves, while Leon continues to grip the briefcase defiantly in the face of the leaving security personnel. COLE So, let me get this straight. Leon Rodez has the Money In The Bank briefcase... but he didn't win it. Josie Baker wants to take it back, but can't. And if she goes to the OAOAST's management, she's going to have to answer for her own actions, as it regards to the Women's Title situation and Morgan Nerdly. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Leon Rodez may have Josie Baker backed against a wall here. He holds all the power! COACH Yeah, but what's Josie gonna do about it, that's what I wanna know! COLE We may find out, later tonight! COMING UP NEXT VIRGIN ISLAND THUNDER VICTOR PEREZ DEBUTS NEXT COMMERCIAL

Sadly I have amassed a meager life outside the OAOAST! One tht will keep me out for the rest of the day so they show will go up on Saturday unless someone wants to post it in my absence and all that.

I can wait longer than that!

Man, you ain't the only one who needs a break! I think I'll manage about two segments, tho.

oops

Let's see if we can have more participation this week

Enjoy that win, Tony, because it'll be the last time anyone out of San Antonio beats anyone out of LA!

* DING * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER This is your HeldDOWN main event! Sanctioned by the OAOAST, it’s for THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Are you ready? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” BUFFER ¿Todos mi amigos, estás listo? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world… Ladies and gentlemen… LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! “Motherfucker of the Year” by Motley Crue hits and Mr. Dick charges onstage like a wild bull, whereas Baron Windels is calm, cool and collected. BUFFER Introducing the challengers, themselves former tag champions who tonight team for the first time in many years. They both hail from SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS, and weigh-in at a combine 503 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS and the newly crowned OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Mr. Dick enters the ring noticeably agitated, perhaps due to the fact Buffer neglected to mention MALAYSIA, but high-fives BW and holds the title high for all to see. COLE Never thought I’d say this, but it’s great to see Malaysia ringside. In case you don’t know why, be sure to catch the encore presentation of AngleMania IX all this weekend. COACH I was there live and I’m still gonna order the encore presentation. It definitely was the world’s largest orgy of fun. In fact, I bet you had an orgy with those oiled up dudes who brought you to the ring, Cole. COLE I was in heaven the whole night. By which I mean the show! “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne cues and COD get their big intro I’m too lazy to look up/write. BUFFER And their opponents… from the City of Angels, they are THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA… CCHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSS OOOOVVVEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Alix high-fives every hand in sight, including those of our broadcast team. ALIX (to Coach) I voted for you. Well, actually Krista did. I preferred the hockey mom because she reminded me of Krista, the wrestling mom. Krista wasn’t too thrilled with the comparison. COLE (laughing) The election was two years ago. ALIX I know but I just now remembered. Later gators. COACH I’m more disturbed by the fact Alix thinks all brothers look alike. All 4 participants meet mid-ring for pre-match handshakes, though Krista and Mr. Dick are quick to wipe their hands afterward. COLE Obviously there are still bitter feelings between Mr. Dick and Krista. Who can forget their match last year at AngleMania VIII where Mr. Dick became the first person ever to pin Krista in a singles match? As everyone takes their places, TIM CASH joins the guys at Sofa Central. COLE Tim Cash, welcome! CASH Great to be here guys. Thanks for inviting me. COACH You invited yourself, but whatever. Trying to steal the spotlight are you? CASH No, sir. Just the opposite in fact. That’s why I waited till the end to come out. COACH Of the closet? COLE Coach! * DINGDINGDING * Alix strikes a fencing pose and shouts “en garde” as the bell sounds, to which BW responds with a quick arm drag. COACH If Alix had her phone, she’d get a text from Melody that reads “Fail.” CASH Melody’s too nice to do that. Well, at least to a friend. Alix charges ahead, but BW leapfrogs her and drops down on the rebound. Quick to react, Alix performs a CARTWHEEL and merrily claps her hands, then grabs a side headlock. BW shoves her off and drops down again. This time he’s ready when Alix attempts another cartwheel, surprising her with a monkey flip. Alix returns to a vertical base following a side headlock takedown and LICKS BW’S NIPPLE TO ESCAPE! BARON ALIX COLE Who says you can’t learn anything watching TV? We just learned Baron Windels is ticklish! COACH I got a little stiff in the pants. How bout you Tim? CASH It’s been a very entertaining match so far. COACH Do you even like girls? CASH Oh, sure. I like Krista, Alix, Jade, Maya, Melody… They’re all very nice girls. COACH I think we’ve found you a new partner, Cole. Alix and BW bump fists, then lockup. Hip toss plants Alix flat on her back, but she kicks BW away and dropkicks him! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both pop to their feet and tag out to a huge ovation. COACH Here we go. COLE The crowd already buzzing in anticipation of this showdown. Mr. Dick and Krista come eye to eye, nose to nose. Krista none too shy in expressing her desire to be World Champion once again, prompting MD to knee her in the gut. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE You’d think Tim Duncan just kneed Kobe Bryant in the groin the way this crowd reacted. CASH Timmy’s too good a guy to do that. Although what we just saw was a bit of a cheap shot, in my opinion. COACH Pretty much everything is a cheap shot in your book. Anyway, a lot of times you’ll see a guy lose his edge after becoming a fan favorite, not Mr. Dick. He’s still very physical in the ring. Face-first into the buckle goes… NO! Krista puts on the brakes and it’s MD who eats turnbuckle. Again. And again. And again. But MD reverses a whip and squashes Krista in the far corner. COLE Bite My Giant Dick! Krista stumbles out but manages to duck a STIFF KICK, which she answers with THE HEBREW HAMMER! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COD tag and deliver a DOUBLE BACKDROP. Alix then channels her inner Scotty 2 Hotty by doing THE WORM. ALIX W… O… R… * awkward pause * “M!” ALIX Oh right. M. Suddenly MD kips up and gives Alix a FACIAL (discus punch)! KRISTA CASH (sighs) I keep telling Jock he’s got to keep the fist open because a closed one is against the rules. MD tags out and motions for BW to cover Alix, but he’s reluctant to do so. COLE Baron Windels still clearly stunned over what just took place. I mean, talk about impact. COACH Yeah, that had to knock the stupid out of her. CASH Well that wasn’t very nice. COACH There’s no time to be nice in the ring against COD. When you got one down you gotta finish them or they‘ll finish you. MD tags himself back in and put the boots to Alix, then rams her into the buckle and follows up with a series of right jabs. Irish whip leads to a MILITARY PRESS SLAM and the cover, but only after MD thrust his pelvis in Krista’s direction. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY KRISTA! COLE A little extra something behind that blow. You know Krista took exception to Dick’s pelvic action. MD holds Alix up for BW following a tag, but rather than punch or kick her BW executes a snap mare. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BW hooks Alix for a vertical suplex only to be wrapped up in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! NO! BW kicks out, catches Alix in mid-air as she attempts a springboard spear and delivers a FALLAWAY SLAM that sends her outside. Krista goes to her partner’s aid but is cut off by the referee. COACH What did I tell you? You gotta finish the job when you have a member of COD down. Baron Windels almost cost his team tag title gold because he wanted to be a good guy. You’re a bad influence Cash. CASH The only thing bad is your breath. COLE Let’s keep it civil, guys. Out on the arena floor, Malaysia scoops Alix up and DRIVES HER INTO THE RINGPOST! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CASH COLE Unlike her main squeeze, Malaysia not as popular in San Antonio or other OAOAST arenas for that matter. COACH As they say, old habits die hard. BW watches in disbelief as Malaysia casually rolls Alix back in. All MD can do is shrug his shoulders. But again BW can’t take advantage of the situation, forcing MD to tag himself back in. MD delivers an inverted atomic drop, the prelude to the clothesline from hell… but Alix counters with a CRUCIFIX PIN! COACH Isn’t that blaspheme given COD’s lifestyle?!? The count. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Alix frantically crawls between MD’s legs and tags Krista! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Krista and MD trade blows, with Krista initially getting the better of it until MD fights back to a loud ovation. He whips Krista across but gets taken down by a flying head scissors. Krista holds on to the hold to perform THE PUSH UP FACE CRUSHER! COLE Krista taking it to the World Champion. Krista whips MD into the ropes and leapfrogs him. MD stops and turns right into an inverted atomic drop, then gets nailed with a… NO! MD ducks the super kick and with FULL PENETRATION drives Krista into the mat courtesy of a full nelson slam! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY ALIX! Alix gives MD a piece of her mind and gets drilled by a BW flying lariat! COACH It’s on now, fellas. MD sets Krista for THE COCK BLOCK, but she floats over and hits THE CODEBREAKER! COLE KIDology! The cover but no count as the ref is busy trying to breakup Alix/BW. This allows Malaysia to sneak in and whack Krista with her CAT O’NINE TAILS. NO!! Tim Cash slides in and yanks it away. COACH What does that idiot think he’s doing? COLE Trying to keep the playing field leveled, that’s what. Krista spots Cash with the whip and confronts him. Cash denies any ill intent but Krista doesn’t buy it, especially with Malaysia at his side. Mr. Dick then sees the whip in Krista’s possession and kicks her low! COLE Low blow! MD delivers THE COCK BLOCK and covers Krista in compromising fashion as Malaysia takes Cash out with her. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… and your NEEWWW One & Only World tag team champions… BARON WINDELS and the reigning OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MD tosses a tag belt to BW and poses with his 2 titles. COACH New tag champions, Mikey Cole! COLE The Lone Star Gunslingers ride again. Oh my! FADE TO BLACK

Backstage in Josie’s office, which is neatly organized and pristenly decorated we find… MAGGIE NERDLY with Josie Baker. No picture for Josie. Sorry, Josie. MAGGIE What’s up ya’ll, it’s the It Girl on the Scene, Maggie Nerdly, chillin with Josie Baker. JOSIE Hi, Maggie. MAGGIE Josie, everyone who’s anyone checked out AM last Sunday, and they all saw you screw Morgan out the world title. Here’s your- JOSIE Screw? MAGGIE I dunno what other verb to use. You screwed her big time! JOSIE I may have screwed Morgan, I can admit that. But I did it in the best interest of the OAOAST. MAGGIE That’s wack, people were starting to get behind my sis and you took her legs out from under her. JOSIE The OAOAST Galaxy doesn’t know what it wants. It has to be told what to do sometimes. Cheer Krista, boo Reject, chant PRL’s name, they do it because I tell them to and they’re happy with that. Morgan was just an odd occurrence, her popularity happened by accident. But I’ve corrected it. We can’t have someone like your sister representing this company. Yes she’s cute and tiny but she’s moody, she’s depressed, she cuts herself, she mumbles in her interivews. That’s not the mark of a champion. MAGGIE You think Holly is a good rep for the fed? Sailor Mouth Holly? JOSIE Holly is slightly rough around the edges, sure, and she’s not my first choice to be women’s champion. MAGGIE Then who is? JOSIE You really want to know? MAGGIE I asked, didn’t I? JOSIE Then its you. You’re young, hip, good looking all that. And none of the baggage of your sister. I think you’d make an excellent women’s champion, so you’ve got first crack at Holly at the Motor City Spectacular. MAGGIE JOSIE Enjoy the rest of the night, Maggie.

“The World is Mine” by David Guetta hits but the LDCMG are slow to appear. Pushed out by COD we see CMJ in a school girl’s outfit while Reiger sports a pink Hello Kitty tank top and skirt complete with heels. COLE BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring, from OAOVW… TONY DUNCAN and GEORGE ROBINSON! Their opponents represent THE ENTERPRISE… at a total combine weight of 430 pounds… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reiger nearly stumbles due to his high heels, which draws a good laugh from Duncan and Robinson but the ire of the LDCMG. They storm the ring and pummel their opponents. * DINGDINGDING * COACH Duncan and Robinson aren’t laughing now. They’re crying. CMJ hammers Robinson in the corner with Irish uppercuts as Reiger chops Duncan. The LDCMG whip their opponents into each other and then CMJ executes an HARVARDPLEX, with Reiger following up with a SLINGSHOT DOUBLE STOMP! Standing dropkick sends Duncan into the arms of CMJ for an IRISH SUPLEX! COLE Vintage CMJ! SPIKE REIGER COUNTER leads to the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the team of COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COD applaud the former champs who leave the ring in a huff. COLE The LDC Moneygang look great. In the ring that is! COACH Everybody knew what you meant, homo… err, home boy.

Backstage, Tony Brannigan is with the LDC Moneygang. Theodore Moneymaker conspicuous by his absence. BRANNIGAN As you know, new tag team champions were crowned this past Sunday at AngleMania IX. Per stipulation, CMJ and Spencer Reiger must wear dresses for 30 days. But gentlemen, I along with the rest of our viewing audience see you’re dressed to go… not for show. REIGER Tony, you know our word is good as gold. CMJ Solid. REIGER That’s why it pains me to say due to circumstances beyond our control we can’t fulfill our obligations tonight. BRANNIGAN You’ve got to be kidding me! REIGER I wish I was Tony. I wish I was. But unfortunately we became another statistic on our way here. The airline lost our luggage which contained the dresses Lorelei had picked out for us. BRANNIGAN And you couldn’t afford to buy new ones? I find that very hard to believe. REIGER No, we could’ve bought new ones, but our credit cards were in our luggage too. CMJ And we don’t accept charity so asking Teddy for a loan was out of the question. REIGER Yeah, uh… So, sorry I guess. The LDCMG bump into COD as they try to exit. KRISTA Are you guys finished? Because I’m just about to get started. Get started calling bullshit! Luckily we prepared for something like this, so Ally. Alix hands 2 suits bags to the LDCMG, which they open to peak inside. REIGER Oh hell no! KRISTA Before you ask, yes, it does make you look fat. ALIX F-A-T not P-H-A-T. CMJ Ooh, she can spell. ALIX F-U. KRISTA Be nice, baby. They’re just a little moody right now. Maybe you’d like to let loose some steam in a match. REIGER Triple threat match for the tag titles? You’re ON! * phone vibrates * ALIX (opens phone) It’s a text from Melody. * giggles * “LOL” indeed. CMJ KRISTA We never said anything about a title match, only a match. ALIX A match will you can show off your skills while looking like complete tools! KRISTA Now hit the locker room and get dressed. COLE Krista laying down the law.

And fuck the usual opening spiel lets get right down to big bidness! Here I am again, Hey now, hey now, I'm the mother fucker of the year. Here I am again, Hey now, hey now, I'm the mother fucker of the year. Through golden pyro, and with thunderous hometown cheers, Mister Dick strides through the entrance doors with Baron Windels, Malaysia, and Tim Cash at his side. Mister Dick’s body is heavily bandaged, but this doesn’t hold back his joy as he stares at his shimmering gold title. He throws it through the air, and shouts out to the cheering audience. COLE There he is, folks, the man who endured pure hell to become OAOAST world champion. And for his suffering he lives his dream with his first appearance as world champion coming in his hometown of San Antonio. Welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Michael Cole sitting beside The Coach Johnathan Coachman and things are already heating up here tonight. Mister Dick and his crew enter the ring to more warm applause from sold out audience. Mister Dick smiles wryly at the chants of his name, and nods his head in appreciation. MISTER DICK Damn it feels good to be a champion! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK And damn it feel good to be back home! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK Reject, you stupid son of a bitch I gots something to say ya, so listen good, boy, ‘cause I ain’t in no mood to repeat my damn self. COLE What could Mister Dick have on his mind? MISTER DICK Reject, you talked a good word about leaving me layin’ in a pool of my own blood and all that crap, and ya talked a good word about makin me respect ya. And when ya had me handcuffed and ya swung that chair and bashed my brains in, my career flashed before my eyes. When ya struck me with that Eulogy of yers I damn sure thought my title dream was over. But like a stupid son of a bitch, ya stopped the referee’s count and cost yerself the god damn title. Boy, you are as stupid as day old donkey shit! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK I ain’t got no respect for you, I ain’t got no respect for your stable, I ain’t got no respect for your church, your family, or yer friends. I think yer a sorry piece of crap, and I hate yer rotten guts. Boy, if you ever try what you tried at Anglemania on me again, I can promise ya that’ll be the last moves you take, ya lousy coward. And, you listen good, son, ‘cause I ain’t done with ya yet. COLE Oh man, he’s roasting Reject. MISTER DICK If ya take a step to Malaysia, Tim Cash, or Baron, yer gonna have me to answer to, boy. And the last time you had me to answer to, I took yer damn title belt. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK The rest of Deadly Alliance? If you lazy, no good bastards, wanna be led by a real champion, and a real success story…then take yer ass to TNA or WWF ‘cause I ain’t got no time of the day for ya. “MISTER DICK! MISTER DICK! MISTER DICK!” the fans of San Antonio salute their hometown hero. MISTER DICK I gotta show respect to them folks that showed respect to me. Sometimes I ain’t the easiest guy in the world to share a beer with. COACH Oh really? MISTER DICK I might be wound a little tight, and I like to go pickin fights with half the people I see, and I ain’t no easy going laid back hippy type. Sometimes I drink some beer, I get a little angry, and I get a little rowdy. People ain’t to happy with the words comin’ out my mouth. That makes it hard to make friends, but I got two great ones in Tim Cash and Baron Windells. You boys are true gentlemen, and I don’t know what I did to deserve guys like you ridin’ the water with me but I sure am glad you’re here. And Malaysia… MALYASIA MISTER DICK Yer fired. MALAYSIA MISTER DICK Kidding, girl, you know I’m sillier than a prized pig on mary-ja-wana! Girl, I couldn’t have done nothing without ya. That bald headed simple minded bastard, Coach, said if it weren’t for Reject I’d be on some undercard match at Anglemania. He got it almost right, if it weren’t fer you I’d be buried ass deep in the bottom of the card, shinning Leon Rodez boots or brushing Krista’s hair to get a push. This title is as much your’s as it is mine. Mister Dick straps the belt around Malaysia’s waist and then raises her hands to the roaring audience. Baron Windells then takes the microphone. BARON Hey Jock, congrats on winning the strap. Thanks for letting Timmy and I be a part of the magic and the celebration. The world title is something we both dreamed about winning back when we broke into the business. We also said whoever climbed to the top of the ladder first would give the other a title shot. MR. DICK I know where you're going with this BW and I’m mighty sorry about how you were cheated right out of yer money in the bank briefcase. Mighty sorry. So, I’d be more honored than anything to have my first title defense against...Tim Cash! CASH MR. DICK Ah, don't be shy you little devil. If it weren’t fer ya leading the charge my hands would still be in handcuffs and my head would be lying beneath the ring because Reject would have taken it right off. But I didn't forget about ya BW. No, no. Friends take care of friends. Tonight we're gonna give the people what they've begging for... a Lone Star Gunslingers reunion as we go for the gold against COD. Alix, Krista, get yer panties on and get ready fer a fight! COLE Wow! The Lonestar Gunslingers against Chicks Over Dicks for the tag team titles! An all star tag match tonight in San Antonio! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT OAOAST'S SPURS VS LAKERS LONESTAR GUNSLINGERS VS CHICKS OVER DICKS TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

Papacita, indeed. A warm and welcome face errrrr....usename, still glad to see you around and hear that ya read the show. SMH@Tony houndin dudes for work, ain't you got no shame in your game?

Also the hometown of WWE Superstar Shawn Michaels who just got retired by The Undertaker at WWE WrestleMania XXVI this past Sunday. Perfect timing. Was it Alfdogg or I who picked San Antonio as the site for the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! after OAOAST AngleMania IX? I forget. Anyway, I'm gonna see if I can have "Virgin Island Thunder" Victor Perez's debut match happen on this show. What better time than now? Woooooooooah HBK retired? Did in by Taker? That's crazy. Taker still wrestles? That nigga been in the wwf longer than I been alive. Fuck that dude, I don't respect my elders.

Why it just happens to be from the hometown of the NEW world champion Mister Dick~ Should be an April fools show but we have to move it back due to AM. Who else has AM burnout? I do! I do! I do! But I'll have an MD promo+maybe a segment involving Josie.

Here's to nine more of these motherfuckers! The graphics were hella fine, proper respect due KC. Cute opening! Was Mike Adamle that bad? He was on WWE wasn't he? lol@Landon and Queen Esther's entrance. I would've liked to see Faqu on a throne eating grapes, tho. But KC is a man who understands the importance of the entrance game. It must be why he and I get along so well and Tony and I are constantly plotting to kill each other . Very good opening match, I liked the chemistry between Black and the LKOS. Black's really starting to look like a star lately, hopefully we'll see a one on one match with he and Landon. Man that SCSF was wildin' out! Glad Tony took it to the casino floor, I loved that portion of the contest. lol@the merchandise stand on the casino floor, the OAOAST some money whores! Anyway good stuff here, nice to see the Colonel getting his comeuppance. My man Tony killed it with the tag title match. Really entertaining bout, never a dull or slow moment. The ketchup gag was great for lols. Tony managed to use almost every signature COD move. I think the only move not used was Alix's Confessions of a Kristaholic sommersault neckbreaker. Does Teddy have to wear a dress now, or is it just Colin and Reiger? Alf weren't lyin! This match was excellent! He even wrote longer entrances than usual. The involvement of all the supporting cast members of the feud was a great touch. It was awesome to see how far Reject would go to destroy Jock. Just disturbing how he would stop the referee's count to inflict more damage upon Mister Dick. Great and brutal spots here, a perfect compliment to the SCSF. It may not be the longest AM we've ever had, but it sure was a good one!

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time to decide the OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPION! A buzz starts to sound out through the crowd at the announcement by Buffer, fans beginning to stand from their chairs on all sides of the arena. But this buzz is immediately obliterated as Kanye West’s Diamonds Are Forever captures the Vegas air. [i] Diamonds are forever They won't leave in the night I've no fear that they might Desert me Diamonds are forever (forever, forever) Throw your diamonds in the sky if you feel the vibe Diamonds are forever (forever, forever, forever) The Roc is still alive every time I rhyme. Forever ever? Forever ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever? Ever, ever?......[/i] [B]BOOOOOOOOM![/B] Fiery white pyro explodes furiously in front of the twin video towers that display Crystal’s image. Between the smoky haze that fills the Roman style entrance way, Crystal emerges through the opened gates. Her icy blue eyes stare at the booing audience with immense disdain. COLE For the first time in four years Crystal steps into the OAOAST ring and she does it with the promise to retire the Women’s Title should she win it. Morgan is fighting not only for herself but for the entire OAOAST. Wearing black tights with diamonds on the side and a silver tanktop with her name emblazoned across the front, Crystal makes a confident stride down the entrance ramp. The look of disgust for the OAOAST Marks gathered for Anglemania never once leaves her face. BUFFER Hailing from Coquitlam, British Columbia, she weighs in at 150 lbs, the self proclaimed Crown Jewel of the OAOAST, she is a former OAOAST World Champion, she is CRYSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL! Crystal dives into the ring as boos trail her arrival. She steps onto the third turnbuckle and takes another fierce glare at an audience that continues to send hatred into the Vegas sky. COACH The lack of respect shown my BABY GURL~! is disgusting as all hell, Mikey. These suckas need to wise up and show love for the girl that paved the way for all the chicks in the OAOAST. The powerfully bombastic symbols of [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhJ7b4WJ9Ok"]“This Is How I Disappear”[/url] fight their way into the Cesar’s Palace arena The fans murmur with anticipation and glee over the petite danger that’s soon to make a gigantic presence. COLE Its that time! [i][color="#00BFFF"][b]GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now[/b].[/color][/i] Booming bolts of electricity fall onto stage from the overhanging scaffold throwing sparks into the air and sending the roman guards scattering for their lives. The video towers fill with images of flashing electricity as the entrance stage lies carpeted with blue light. The scaffold sends its final bolt of electricity, the most powerful one yet! Ripping her way through the unguarded gates is the lethal champion, earning a large reception from the standing audience. Morgan wears a pinstriped booty shorted romper over her tiny frame. She chews on her blond hair nervously, and watches the crowd with the same frightened look they give her. COLE The Tiny Terror from Edmonton arrives into a second Anglemania! Unlike her first where she was the challenger, Morgan Nerdly arrives a tested challenger. But she faces an OAOAST Legend, and her toughest challenge yet. Crystal the female phenom. Morgan hurriedly moves down the entrance ramp, keeping her eyes on the ground and away from the vile stare of her challenger. BUFFER And the champion….she hails from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada! Prepare for Shock and Awe from MOOORGAAAAAAAN NEEEEEERRDDDDDDDLY! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” [i][color="#00BFFF"][b]Can you hear me cry out to you? Words I thought I'd choke on figure out. I'm really not so with you anymore. I'm just a ghost, So I can't hurt you anymore, So I can't hurt you anymore. And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink? Let me go, fuck! So, you can, well now so, you can I'm so far away from you. Well now so, you can[/b].[/color][/i] Morgan gets into the ring and stands on the first rope, while leaning over the second. She casts a quizzical glance at the audience, almost childlike in its odd innocence. COLE An all Canadian matchup here at Anglemania, sponsored by Little Cesar’s Pizza. [b]DING DING DING[/b] The contest begins with the upstart champion engaging in a lockup with the OAOAST legend. The battle is furious and spirited, as Crystal’s strength fails her, allowing Morgan to shove her into the ropes. The former world champion immediately demands a clean break, which referee Mike Chioda is quick to give her. Morgan backs away from her foe, nervously locking down her gaze upon the Canadian. Crystal buys herself time, stalking across the ring and looking out at the unreceptive Vegas audience. COLE Crystal taking a major gamble here in the gambling city of the world, trusting that her ring rust won’t complicate her title hunt. Crystal draws Morgan towards her with a lockup. But as Morgan approaches her, Crystal swings behind her to trap her inside a waistlock. Crystal attempts to lift the petite Nerdly girl into a German suplex, but the champion holds her ground. Even more frustrating for Crystal is when Morgan wheels behind her to acquire a waislock over her own. The audience cheers this as Crystal groans in annoyance. She soon groans in pain as Morgan takes her down with an amateur style throw. Morgan then swings to her front, attempting to lock Crystal’s head inside her arms. But this task is a failed one; Crystal grabs hold of Morgan’s arm and traps her inside an armbar. COACH That’s my girl! COLE I thought Lindsay Gonzalez was your girl. COACH They’re all my girls. COLE You wish! Morgan calls upon all her strength to begin pushing Crystal onto her back to create a pinning situation… ONE! TWO! Crystal is forced to kickout, a move that costs her her armbar as well. She scrambles to her feet, but soon finds the bare arms of Morgan circling around her head. Morgan wrenches at Crystal’s neck, but can’t hold her down for very long as she’s shoved to the ropes. However when she returns she’s able to catch Crystal off guard with a diving forearm! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” As that attack treated her so well, Morgan makes another run of the ropes. But on her bounce back her luck fails her with Crystal catching her with a DDT! “BOOOOOOOOO! All of Caesar’s Palace jeers with Crystal dusting her hands off in accomplishment. While the fans continue to deride her, Crystal picks Morgan up and shoots her into the ropes. Morgan’s thrown back and sent hurtling through the Vegas sky with a back body drop over the cables. Thankfully for the champion, she’s able to come down on her platform heels. An annoyed challenger rushes her, but gets a taste of one of those platform boots for her troubles. Morgan then slingshots herself over the top rope and connects with a body press onto her fellow Canadian. COLE Morgan’s showing no fear of Crystal. None whatsoever! Crystal comes to her feet, trying to shake the cobwebs lose and blocking out the Nevada sun with her hands. All this preoccupation leaves her to be struck with ferocious kicks from the champion. Crystal is hobbeled by these devastating strikes and Morgan is easily able to ensnare her in an inverted facelock. She lifts Crystal up for a Curtain Call type move, but finds that the challenger is a hard catch to keep. The former world champion slides herself out and quickly captures Morgan inside a rear waistlock. She shoves Morgan into the ropes expecting to gain an easy roll up. But the champion showcases impressive ring presence by latching onto the cables. This causes a very upset Crystal to roll backwards. When she stands she becomes even more nettled by little Morgan nailing her with a dropkick! COLE Beautiful dropkick from a beautiful champion. Morgan whips her hair away from her baby blue eyes and attempts a pinfall.. ONE! TWO! Crystal makes a timely kickout. “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” COACH These idiots lost for thinking a dropkick would put away a former world champion in this day and age. COLE Stranger things have happened, especially in the OAOAST. Morgan brings Crystal towards her feet, merely to snapmare her back to the ground. An elbow almost finds its mark, but Crystal quickly slides out the way. Morgan holds her sore arm close to her stomach as she groans her agony. Unsympathetic to Morgan’s plight, Crystal yanks her upright and attempts an irish whip to the corner. But Morgan expertly reverses the hold, and its Crystal who crashes into the cold steel of the ring posts. Adding further problems for Crystal is Morgan smashing against her face with a body splash! COLE The OAOAST Galaxy watching on as these two beautiful and deadly combatants lock horns for the OAOAST Women’s Title. COACH It’s only a matter of time before MAH GURL~! Crystal kicks it into overdrive and overpowers Morgan. Morgan grabs onto Crystal’s arm and throws her into the opposite corner. After tossing her hair out her eyes, Morgan makes another dash to Crystal. But this time she’s caught by an elbow from the ultra talented challenger. Morgan stumbles backwards, her hands finding her sore jaw. She’s then knocked to the ground courtesy of a running lariat from Crystal. As Morgan huddles up in pain and fear, Crystal stands above her dusting her hands off. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Morgan finds her way back upright with relative quickness. Unfortunately all this does is allow her to be easily trapped inside a front facelock. Crystal then whips her backwards with a vertical suplex and floats over into a pinfall… ONE TWO! Morgan makes a last second kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Frustrated with the kickout, Crystal hastily takes herself to the ropes. She returns wielding an elbow smash, but Morgan succeeds in gobbling her up into a small package. Chioda hits the mat to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Crystal rolls herself out the pin , causing the Nevada fans to strike her with jeers. Ignoring their hatred and cruel words, the former women’s champion slides herself beneath the ropes to the apron. Although slightly nervous, Morgan still follows her to the edge of the ring. She clamps down on her opponent in a front facelock and brings her to her feet to attempt a suplex. But the strength of Crystal wins out and she’s able to suplex Morgan to the outside! Morgan’s tiny body crashes in a broken heap on the blue Anglemania logo canvas, causing the front row fans to shriek in worry. COLE Oh my! COACH Oh yes! My baby is coming home with the gold. Morgan holds her knee and cries and pain, as Crystal leans over the ropes and yells at her to return to the ring. COLE Crystal’s a veteran she knows she can’t win the title by countout. Realizing that Morgan isn’t moving any faster, Crystal departs the ring to fetch her. Grabbing onto a pin stripped booty shorted romper Crystal lifts her up and throws her into the ring. She follows her inside and then drops a knee on the exposed part of Morgan’s stomach. A pinfall then follows…. ONE! TWO! Morgan throws her shoulder off the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!“ COLE Only two, but oh my, what a close two it was. Crystal and Morgan roll upright with Crystal taking shots at Morgan’s bare stomach. But the champion returns fire with painful intent, doubling Crystal over with elbow strikes. This allows Morgan to take Crystal into a standing head scissors. She then proceeds to wow the Anglemania audience with a deadly sitout powerbomb! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Big move from a little girl! Chioda counts the ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! Crystal lifts her shoulder off the mats to keep her title hopes alive. “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” the fans tell the official. Morgan grabs onto Crystal’s short and curled hair and begins yanking her off the canvas. But she’s countered with a jawbreaker! Several kicks strike Morgan’s exposed chest and leave her wobbly and struggling to remain upright. The pressure is kept on the champion as Crystal throws her into the corner. The challenger then shoots in with a running lariat! But Morgan slides out the way, leaving Crystal to crash into the posts. The challenger stumbles backwards and finds herself thrown to the canvas by a running knee from the champion! “YEAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer in delight as Morgan seems a little exhausted from Crystal’s earlier assault. Despite being the one attacked, Crystal is fast to her feet. She attacks Morgan with a bombardment of jabs before hooking her into a front facelock. She then signals for the end, which earns boos from the jam packed venue. But thankfully for them and Morgan, the petite Nerdly is able to stave off defeat with a release Northern Lights suplex! COLE I don’t think Crystal expected this tough a battle here in Vegas. COACH Its only a matter of time before her experience wins out over Morgan’s youth and fear. Coach may yet be proven correct as a running Morgan is upended over the cables by a back body drop from Crystal. “OOOOOOOOOH!” the fans recoil as Morgan is forced into a brutally agonizing landing on the outside mats. Morgan rolls into the guardrail, grabbing onto it in an effort to try and cope with the pain that shoots through her knee. COLE It looks like Morgan’s knee has again taken the brunt of the landing. Morgan tries to slowly climb back into the ring, but she’s struck back down by a right cross from her opponent. Morgan lands on her feet, but is hobbled by her aching knee. This permits Crystal with a chance to attack. And she capitalizes on it by leaping over the ropes and nailing Morgan with a body splash! COLE What a move by Crystal! The front row fans give Crystal a hearty thumbs down as she admires her handiwork. She then plants her black boots into Morgan’s leg, furthering the spread of pain through her leg. COLE That backbody drop took the wind out of Morgan and severely hurt her knee. I think the tide of this match may have changed and its possible Crystal may be retiring with that Women’s Title belt, sorry to say. Crystal gets the audience buzzing in anticipation as she climbs onto the third turnbuckle. She points to Morgan and makes a throat slashing gesture that gains boos from the fans. COLE I think a gesture like that should be an automatic fine. It has no place in the OAOAST. COACH You softer than burger buns, b. Crystal takes so long to execute any type of offensive attack that Morgan, weak knee and all, is able to make a slow rise onto the turnbuckles. This does not help her very much, however. Crystal greets her arrival with an anger driven round of elbows to the back of Morgan’s head. The champion whimpers as her head is violently snapped back and forth and a headache quickly settles in. COLE Crystal is just demolishing poor Morgan atop that turnbuckle. COACH That’s world champ know how, Mikey, shown by my baby girl. Crystal eventually hits Morgan with enough force to send her tumbling away. The injured champion lands stomach first across the top cable, bringing a smile to Crystal’s face. This smile widens as she leaps off the turnbuckle and smashes Morgan’s head with a guillotine leg drop! Morgan falls over to the canvas, wrecked by the pain Crystal has inflicted upon her. COLE A full extension by Crystal just drives that leg into Morgan’s head. Crystal pulls Morgan to the center of the ring and jack knives her for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THR-NO MORGAN KICKSOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE That was close! We were just a second away from seeing a new and possibly final OAOAST Women’s champion. Crystal rakes Morgan off the canvas and proceeds to pepper her with left jabs. But Morgan shows great fighting sprit and comes back with jabs of her own! Crystal then takes a swing with a haymaker but eats a spinning back first before she can connect with the attack. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans sing as Morgan limps to the corner. Fighting through the pain in her knee, the teenage champ begins working her way to the top rope. COACH I’m not sure this is a good idea for Morgan. COLE She’s taking a major risk. Morgan nervously chews on her hair as she settles herself atop the turnbuckles. Finally she flies forward with a body splash! But the former world champion slides out the way and Morgan lands with thudding splat onto the Anglemania logo canvas. “OOOOOOOOOOH!” the fans are none to happy to over Morgan’s catastrophic miss. As Morgan howls in agony, Crystal takes a moment to recollect her thoughts and breath. Leaving behind her suffering opponent to be attended to by Chioda, Crystal begins her own trek to the top rope. She makes another crowd angering throat slash gesture as a crippled Morgan makes her way to her feet. Crystal then flies forward with a body press that shoves Morgan to the ground! COLE A pinfall! ONE! TWO! Morgan pops out the pinall, bringing joy to all of Las Vegas! COLE I thought that might have been it. Crystal was so close to becoming an OAOAST champion once again. Crystal gets to her feet and takes a run to the ropes. Morgan begins standing upright, but this is a poor idea as Crystal shoots her body low to smack Morgan’s weak knee with a shoulder tackle. Crystal then slides on top of Morgan for a crucial pinfalll…. ONE! COACH New champ! TWO! Morgan throws her shoulders off the canvas, earning a great response from the audience. The frustration level grows for Crystal, and she angrily berates the referee for a perceived slow count. This allows Morgan to sneak behind her, hook onto her legs and school girl her to the ground… ONE! TWO! Crystal sldies out the pinfall, and continues her argument with Chioda. This time Morgan isn’t so kind in her offensive attacks. She grabs onto Crystal’s head and then rushes forward to drive her skull into the canvas with a bulldog! She looks painfully at the referee, almost as if she were asking if that was an ok move to execute. Receiving no rebuke, she decides to take a risk and begins a slow climb to the top rope. There she glances fearfully at the world around her. This moment of trepidation proves costly as Crystal pushes the ropes, causing Morgan to impale herself on the top turnbuckle. This leads a gloating Crystal to step up towards Morgan. She gives the champion an insulting slap in the face before throwing her backwards with a deadly belly to belly suplex! COLE Oh my! VINTAGE Crystal! Assuming that she has an easy three count, Crystal rolls Morgan onto her back for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THRE----MORGAN WITH ANOTHER KICKOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as Crystal stares down the referee with an exasperated expression Crystal picks Morgan up and shoots her into a corner. Upon hitting the posts with tremendous force, Morgan staggers out towards the center of the ring. There Crystal grabs her neck and swings her around with a brutal necbreaker! Crystal then hooks both of Morgan’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Morgan kicksout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Crystal pounds the mat in rage. Grumbling to herself over her failed pinfall, she elevates to the top rope. “UP!” she screams at Morgan, and the littlest Nerdly girl does just that. With Morgan fully upright Crystal dives forward with a body press! But Morgan catches Crystal within her arms! With her weakened legs about to give out from under her, Morgan quickly shifts Crystal onto her shoulders. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans are well aware of what’s forthcoming. Morgan throws Crystal to her side and connects with the [b]Shock & Awe[/b] (F-U)! COLE She nailed it! She nailed it! An exhausted Morgan makes a pinfall attempt… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! COLE Yes! Yes! Yes! DING DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner and still OAOAST Women’s Champion….MORGAN NERDLY! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Morgan falls to the canvas, barely able to believe she’s made a successful title defense. For one rare moment in time a smile as bright as any sunrise appears on the relieved champion’s cute face. She giggles to herself, assured that the worst threat she’s ever faced has been vaniqushed. NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] NOW I’M THAT [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] COLE What is this?! Receiving heat that burns as hot as the Vegas sun, [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/4771579f.jpg] [b]HOLLY[/b] and Josie Baker appear on stage. JOSIE Congratulations, Morgan Nerdly! You have once again won at Anglemania, and you’ve successfully retained your Women’s Title. But. COLE But? JOSIE But the OAOAST is all about unpredictability, aren’t we? And what’s more unpredictable than announcing Holly as the number one contender for the OAOAST Women’s Title? COLE Holly now set to meet Morgan perhaps this week on HeldDOWN or at the Motor City Spectacular. JOSIE I’ll tell you what’s more unpredictable than that! Her facing Morgan Nerdly right now for the OAOAST Women’s title! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” JOSIE Holly, I believe you have a title match to get to. HOLLY (Beep)in gladly. As the audience finds their loudest jeers of this contest, a smirking Holly finds her way to ringside. COLE This isn’t right. This isn’t right! Morgan is helped to her feet by the referee, but she can hardly stand. She leans against the ring posts, heavy hearted and bone weary. Holly hasn’t much sympathy for Morgan as she impatiently bounces on her army boots and demands the contest to begin. DING DING DING Holly rushes across the ring and fires off right hands against Morgan’s face. The champion can do little to defend herself, and clumsily topples over to the canvas. Holly sees this as her opportunity to strike gold, and eagerly makes a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Morgan fires her shoulder off the canvas, bringing relief to the hearts of the audience. COLE I can’t get over how unfair this is. Morgan is being screwed, and you know it, Coach. COACH Its unpredictable, baby, that’s what the OAOAST is all about! Furious over Morgan’s kickout, Holly uses her army boots to powerfully batter the younger champion. She targets Morgan’s head, leaving the young girl whimpering in anguish. Holly assumes that Morgan’s championship reign as at an end, and pulls her to her feet to bring upon its demise. She tightens her into a front facelock, grabs onto her left leg, and then swings her around for The Mirage! COLE Wrong hotel, right move as Holly goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! THRE-MORGAN KICKSOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Holly holds up her two fingers, staring at them as she can hardly fathom how Morgan made her narrow escape. COACH You want to talk about something not being right, that’s not right that had to be three! Holly firmly agrees with Coach and expresses her disturbance in the most profane way she can imagine. HOLLY You mother(beep) (beep)sucking (beep) ass bastard! You (beep) better learn how to count to (beep) three you ignorant mother(beep) shithead! COLE Oh my! Holly rips Morgan off the canvas, and captures her inside another front facelock. HOLLY Vegas! Its (beep)ing over! With that announcement, Holly swings Morgan around and connects with a second Mirage! The referee falls into position to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! COLE My god no! Holly leaps to her feet and throws her fist through the air in triumph, as Another Body Murdered cues up over sound system. BUFFER Your winner and new OAOAST Women’s Champion…..HOLLLYYYYYYYY! COLE My god what has happened here tonight?! Holly grabs the belt out the referee’s hand and [i]kicks[/i] him to the ground. She then falls to her knees and raises the title into the air, as Josie applauds with firm satisfaction on the entrance stage. COLE Let’s throw it up to our special guest interviewer Ryan Seacrest. [img=http://www.gossipcheck.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ryan-seacrest.jpg] RYAN SEACREST stands on the entrance stage with a still applauding Josie. RYAN Josie, you look fabulous tonight. JOSIE That means a lot thank you. RYAN What motivated this decision to give Holly and immediate title shot? JOSIE I’m unpredictable, Ryan, just the same way the OAOAST is. Sometimes you have to shake up the status quo. I suppose that’s what I did. RYAN It had nothing to do with your personal grudge with Morgan? JOSIE It had everything to do with my grudge against Morgan. And I do mean everything. RYAN But is it fair? JOSIE Of course not! But life isn’t fair, and Morgan of all people knows that very well. Now, just enjoy the rest of the show, Ryan. You’re our guest, have a good time! RYAN I most certainly will! Michael, its all your’s. COLE Damn I wish I was his lover.

Also threw a promo in here you can put on whenever. Gotta have celeb apperances, 149! COLE Folks, its been a great Anglemania so far but right now lets send it back to special guest interviewer…HEIDI MONTAG! We throw it backstage where Celeberity Guest Interviewer Heidi Montag stands with Vinny Valentine of the Ghetto Groove Monkeys. HEIDI Hello, everybody I’m Heidi Montag and I am currently standing beside Vinny Valentine better known as the Disco Duck. I’d like to ask you how you feel about your match with Biff Atlas? VINNY Pow-pow-pow, go Vinny go-go-go! Backstage with a mama as fine as yourself and I ain’t even thinking of Biff Atlas. See, he’s a square, a chump, and a dweeb all rolled into one. He’s the Ultimate Square, the square all other squares aspire to be like! Vinny on the other hand is one cool hepcat. So what do how I feel about Biff? I feel he better run and hide under Melody’s daisy dukes, because I’m gonna whup his BUTT big time! HEIDI But he is your best friend. VINNY Is? He was my best friend. Vinny Valentine ain’t no friend to squares like that. He can take a hike to squaresville and cram his superhero junk with a sock. I put up with his crazy talk for a whole year. I’m mad as all heck about it, and I’m gonna do something pretty violent about tonight at Anglemania, baby! HEIDI Okay, well back to you! [b]QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK[/b] The sound of ducks quacking does in fact come from actual ducks, as a full flock of the waterfowl walks onto the Anglemania entrance stage. Like perfectly trained animals they line up in a row, patiently awaiting their human equally foul(lol) friend, Vinny Valentine. The groovy tunage of [i]Rock Your Baby[/i] summons out the Disco Duck, and the jeers drown out the quacking of the duck flock. This matters not to Brooklyn native, who’s legs, clad in glittering rainbow sequin pants, jive and dance with the funky beat. He performs a fantastic twirl, before dropping to his knees and pointing his left index finger toward the open sky. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes! Now making his way to the ring he hails from Brooklyn, New York and weighs two hundred twenty pounds! He is the Disco Duck….VINNNNYYYYYYY VAALLLLENTIIIIIINEEEEEE! COLE Vinny Valentine making his second Anglemania appearance and it comes against his one time friend Biff Atlas. A tough challenge for the Disco Duck. COACH Please. From Nutrition guru to superhero Biff Atlas is still a bitch. V-Squared’s name announcement is met with bile from the audience who all but turn their back on the OAOAST superstar. Vinny continues to reside in his own magical world, where he is king as he twirls to show off his outrageous tights. COLE Vinny wants to prove to the OAOAST Galaxy that he was the one that carried Panic! At The Disco to greatness. I don’t know what greatness he’s referring to but there it is. COACH There is none! And that’s Vinny’s point. The team was held back because of Biff. Vinny could’ve been so much more in the tag division and it’s the fault Biff Atlas that he wasn’t. Vinny slides into the squared circle where his latest twirl is met with more rage and disgust from Vegas. Finally getting the hint, Vinny merely resides in the corner to await his one time ally. He needn’t wait for very long however as a solemn faced Biff Atlas, clad in full on superhero outfit, appears on the entrance stage. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Guys like Sandman, Bohemoth, Spencer Reiger, they’re booed out the arena but this idiot, and I can’t stress that word enough, is cheered? What is wrong with these people? Look at what this fool is wearing! My next door neighbor dresses like this. He’s eight! Biff marches to the ring, as stone faced, as he was when he made his first appearance. This battle hardened expression does little to intimidate Valentine who waves the Venice Beach native on. BUFFER And the opponent! From Venice Beach, California... he weighs two hundred and twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFF... AAAAAAATTLLLLLAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!! COLE Biff Atlas has come under the tutelage of Melody Nerdly from what we understand. COACH There’s a recipe for disaster if ever I heard one! That explains this moron’s outfit. It looks like someone threw up on Batman. This idiot. I hate him! [B]DING DING DING[/B] COACH Now look at Vinny, that’s style! That’s style and class, and its perfect for Anglemania! Biff Atlas has no business on this show while boys like The Hellfire Club sit on the sideline. The sparkling and bold Valentine points a finger at Biff and promises him defeat and destruction from the one man Disco Wrecking Ball. Atlas holds firm, refusing to be lured into fright from his one time best friend. “DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD!” The cruel comments catch Vinny’s attention and he turns to the crowd to smear them with insults. This is Biff’s moment to strike, and he does quickly by hammering on Valentine with forearms to the back. COLE Biff getting the jump on Vinny Valentine! COACH A cowardly jump! Rip that mask off and show him what’s good, V-Squared! Already tired of being brutally pummeled, Vinny attempts to make a hasty get away. Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t make it more than a few inches before Biff shoves him violently into the corner posts. Still trying to save himself, Vinny raises his hands and pleads for a stoppage. Biff questions what he should do in the situation and turns to the audience, “BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS!” Problematically for V-Squared that solves Biff’s moral quandary. The would be super hero winds up with a haymaker and takes a swing at Vinny. But The Disco Duck shoots bellow Biff’s attacking him and switches places with Atlas. A wide smile appears on Vinny’s face as he prepares to unleash a torrent of chops on his former partner. But this attack pattern never comes off as Biff grabs Vinny by the neck and throws him back into the corner. There will be no reprieve for Valentine. Not at this moment as Biff begins blasting him with powerful forearms to the chin. “BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS!” Biff takes hold of Vinny’s arm and throws him to the opposite corner. He comes rumbling in after him, and raises his arms to strike Vinny in the chest with a powerful lariat! As the audience cheers the beating, Vinny staggers out the corner. He throws a few punches at an opponent only he can see and then topples over to the canvas. COLE I didn’t think it was possible but Vinny is actually faring worse than he did in his first Anglemania match. COACH No. The difference tonight is he hasn’t been attacked by the Kool-Aid man. Biff grabs onto Vinny’s heavily gelled hair, and uses it to pull the disco fanatic to his feet. Never one to give up on a bad idea, V-Squared again begs for Biff to ease up. No dice. Atlas devastates his foe with a left right combo that backs him back into the corner. Biff stays in the center of the ring and raises the roof. No one ever accused him of being up on pop culture. Regardless of his out of date commentary, Biff makes another dash at his old partner. But Vinny raises his sparkling legs and nails his opponent in the face with both his knees. COACH That’s the way, V-Squared. Bring yourself back into this match. You can’t lose to a fool in a six year old’s Halloween costume. Vinny climbs to the second rope, and blows a kiss to a now repulsed lady in the front row. Ignoring her poor reaction, Vinny flies forward and connects with an elbow to Biff’s head. The superhero falls over to the canvas, landing on his knees and dazed from the strike. This works to Vinny’s advantage as he comes off the ropes and punts Biff in the back of the head. Atlas falls back first onto the mat, leaving him open to an easy pin from V-Squared…. ONE! TWO! Biff pops his shoulder off the canvas. Its an action that puts a dour expression onto Vinny’s face. He picks Biff up and stuffs him inside a front facelock. The Disco Duck calls for a simple DDT, earning jeers from the jam packed Vegas crowd. He brushes them aside and expects to hit his hold. But Biff picks him up and whirls him around before slamming him into the ground with excellent force! COLE What a show of strength from Biff Atlas! COACH Lucky break, Mikey, lucky break. If the crowd hadn’t distracted Vinny, Biff’s brains would be splattered all across this ring. Biff falls atop Vinny for a pinning situation…. ONE! TWO! Valentine performs a kickout, deflating the previously enthused Atlas. He pulls V-Squared off the canvas and tosses him into the ropes. Rebounding, Vinny faces a back elbow from Atlas. He ducks bellow the attack, however, and comes up behind his heroic opponent. This allows him to reach backwards and latch onto Biff’s neck in hopes of hitting a neckbreaker. However, Biff captures hold of Vinny’s arms and brings his opponent down for a clever backslide pin attempt! ONE! TWO! Vinny hurriedly slides himself out the unexpected pinfall, and appears frightened over having been pinned. Both men then roll themselves upright at the same moment. Its Biff who attempts to draw first blood with a swinging lariat. But Valentine ducks the attack, and succeeds in executing his neckbreaker! Pleased with his performance, he bestows upon himself a round of applause. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Vegas loves their retro acts, but there’s no love for Vinny Valentine here in Sin City. Vinny grabs hold of Biff’s thickly muscled legs and bridges backwards to hurl him into the corner. Just as soon as Biff’s chest smacks against the posts, his head is struck by a running elbow from V-Squared. Things worsen for Atlas as Vinny brings him down with an inverted DDT. The Disco Duck then celebrates his respectable performance with some groovy disco dancing! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE See what I mean. COACH These people don’t appreciate authentic acts, only imitators. I bet if the real Elvis came and cut a track these cats would call him flabby, husky voiced, and a cheap dresser. Vinny lays into Biff’s sore head with stomps from his gator skin boots. Strangely, he grows mad at Biff when the boots become scuffed and takes it out on his former best friend with a knee drop to the top of his head. Biff grabs onto his skull in pain, as agony overwhelms him. The misery only grows worse when Vinny, aided by the ropes, kneels onto the top of his head. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer begins a count on the illegal tactic. ONE! TWO! THREE! Vinny breaks the hold…merely to replay the hold for three more seconds! Once he’s forced to make a final break he mounts Biff and tags him with several powerful punches. These closed fists don’t go unnoticed by the 85 year old referee, and an annoyed Vinny is once again forced to break away from his tormenting of Biff. COLE The Disco Duck may have been “quacking”….heh….in his boots earlier in this match but its been all Vinny Valentine since then. Taunting Biff with lyrics from disco songs, Vinny begins scraping him off the canvas by his mask. But Biff heroically fights backs, peppering his foe with right hands. Biff manages to stun Vinny, and for that reason is able to take off to the ropes. When he returns, he flattens the Disco Duck with a powerful lariat! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Although dazed and hurt, Vinny stumbles back to his feet. But this is a monumentally bad mistake as Biff merely runs through him with another lariat! Feeling a surge of adrenaline Atlas turns to the Vegas sky and lets out a mighty roar! COACH I hate it when this idiot starts getting confident. No one gets more excited about executing the most simple of wrestling moves than that clownshoe Biff Atlas. Still seething with heroic fire, Biff attempts a third lariat on the Disco Duck. But Vinny counteracts that attack by kicking out Biff’s leg, dropping his opponent to the ground. VINNY Vegas! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” VINNY I want to put on my my my my boogie shoes just to boogie with YOU! As the Anglemania audience derides him with insults, a delighted Disco Duck takes to the ropes. Once he reaches his one time compadre he nearly takes off his head with a shining wizard! Biff topples backwards, his head ringing out in anguish. COACH Hahahah! Biff got a taste of those Boogie Shoes! I love it! Vinny hooks onto Biff’s left leg for a pinfall effort…. ONE! TWO! Biff brings his shoulder up and evades certain defeat. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Angered by Biff’s pinfall escape, Vinny pounds out the canvas in frustration. When finished with his mini-tantrum. Vinny begins bringing Biff off the mat. But Atlas finds a surge of energy and runs V-Squared all the way to the ring posts! There Biff thrills the capacity crowd as he devastates his adversary with shoulder strikes to Vinny’s thin midsection! “BIFF! BIFF! BIFF!” Unnoticed amidst all the joy and celebration, [b]Mariano[/b] has crawled from [i]beneath[/i] the ring to slip a pair of [i]golden[/i] knuckles onto Vinny’s hand. COLE Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Unaware of what’s transpired, Biff backs away from Vinny to set up grander attacks. That precise moment is when The Disco Duck flashes forward to strike with his gold covered hand. But Biff swiftly ducks the attack and poor Clem Buzzlefoxer is struck down in his stead. COLE That could spell the end for Clem! COACH After 85 years its long over due. Vinny couldn’t possibly care less about the injured official; instead his only focus is on destroying his one time friend. He lunges forward for another attack, but misses completely as Biff twirls him around with a spinning powerslam! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” the fans toss cheers into the open Vegas air. But a pinfall cannot be made without any referee. Realizing that the dear offical has suffered grave malaise, Biff does what any good superhero would do and checks on the injured elder. But this leaves him open to attack, and its [b]Quincy[/b] who strikes now, smashing him in the back with a steel chair! “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans are teeming with fury as Luther and Waldo usher referee Mike Chioda down to ringside. The official reluctantly slides into the ring and makes an even more reluctant scoring of Vinny’s pinfall… ONE! TWO! [b]BIFF MANAGES A KICKOUT![/b] COACH Noooooooo! I don’t believe it! Neither can the Ghetto Groove Monkeys who freak out on the outside, while the fans celebrate with cheers. Vinny shushes them, wisely assuming that Biff’s time in this match has come to a violent close. He begins picking Atlas off the canvas, but suddenly Biff shoots to life and takes Vinny onto his shoulders! Vinny struggles to fight free of Atlas, but can not find the ability to break his bonds. Within moments the Disco Duck’s goose is cooked with a DVD into a Michinoku Driver! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the OAOAST Marks scream, as Biff reaches forward to grab Vinny’s legs for a pinfall... ONE! But the GGMs have Chioda distracted. COLE Damn it! However Buzzlefoxer heroically returns to action and scores the pin himself…. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…. Buffer’s announcement is interrupted by the disturbing sight of the GGMs flooding the ring and laying their tennis shoes to Biff! COLE This isn’t right! Not one bit! Vinny, despondent and enraged over the loss, quickly joins in. He takes grand pleasure in pounding at Biff, as Atlas screams bring a broad smile onto his sweat-drenched face. COLE Someone put a stop to this! That someone is MARV and MEL led by Melody Nerdly, and her bouncing breasts! The two brothers hit the ring and immediately lay waste to Marino and Luther. Quincy eats a Double Kickflip (dropsault) for attempting to attack the highflying duo. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Waldo is next to fall as he’s suplexed straight out the ring onto his partners in crime. But Vinny won’t be so easily disposed of as he wields a chair. Forgoing MARV and MEL, he turns his attention to Melody. The Nerdly girl begs to be spared, but the crazed look in Vinny’s eyes tell her that her fate will not be a kind one. However the chair is ripped out Vinny’s hands by Biff! Outraged, Vinny whirls around, only to be pounded in the head by the chair and sent flying over the ropes! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The CAE thank Biff for saving their sister from sure doom. He sheepishly accepts their gratitude and even more sheepishly accepts his hands being raised in victory by the three Nerdlies.

Backstage Alix and Krista are seen walking down the hallway. Alix is scribbling down something furiously on a notepad. Krista as usual looks disinterested and pretends not to notice. ALIX I’m writing a cross word puzzle for OAOAST Magazine, Krissy! KRISTA OAOAST Magazine? Is that what they call toilet paper these days? ALIX You’re smart, give me some words or I’ll gut you good! What’s one for an activity so heart wrenchingly awful and mentally exhausting it is guaranteed to render your soul working beyond repair. KRISTA Watching HeldDOWN. ALIX The evolutionary clock ticking backwards? KRISTA Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. WALDO (OS) Daaaaaaamn! Craigslist been good to a nigga! LUTHER (OS) We came uuuuuuuuuuuup! Suddenly a roadblock in the form of the Ghetto Groove Monkey’s appears to hinder Alix and Krista’s progression. Normally they might be able to simply slide through the group, but the large stable has a stained, old mattress lying in the middle of the hallway. This highly annoys Krista. KRISTA Uh can we get by? Preferably without initiating conversation and/or eye contact. QUINCY Mmmmm, what have we got here. TONY Hey, Krista, they say if your palm is bigger than your head you have cancer. Krista holds up her palm…and smacks Tony with it. VINNY :lol: Served! MARIANO Ya’ll fools don’t know how to step to fine ass bitches like these. You gotta come correct, see. Ya’ll girls lookin’ so fly if you went to a funereal you’d have niggas in the casket busting nuts. QUINCY (massaging Krista’s arm) I know that’s right! KRISTA I guess I’ll be sawing my arm off tonight. ALIX Krissy, be nice. Special Ed children need extra love! I think its great you guys can walk around without supervision and your chinstraps and drool bibs. VINNY Quincy, left his at home. QUINCY Shut up, shorty punk ass! ALIX Hey, dudes, like, what have you got anyway? It looks like a mattress full of semen and pee stains from gay porn shoots. So I guess you got Christian Wright’s old mattress! MARIANO Hell naw! We got this off Craigslist, bucks fifty used! Sheets, pillows, blankets, all that. Don’t mean to brag but… WALDO Craigslist been good to a nigga! ALIX You bought a used mattress? Like, for all eight of you? Elton John in drag looks at that and says “damn, that’s pretty gay.” VINNY Lemme ask you a question. KRISTA Yes, you should all kill yourself in a ritual mass suicide. VINNY Lemme ask you another question! You don’t think that’s…kind of gross do you? KRISTA What could be gross about sleeping on another man’s dried semen? TONY FUCKING SHIT KRISTA! He only busted ten nuts! ALIX Sorry, dude, there’s a five nut maximum FCC regulation. QUINCY I forgot you the Hollywood hoes. We hip hop, hip hop ain’t hip without the hood, smell me. This hood right here, smell me. ALIX How can you say buying a used mattress that Christian Wright doo-dooed on for Theodore Moneymaker’s enjoyment, for all seventy of you is hood? WALDO We trynna keep it on a hip-hop steezy. But, America, don’t want real. America ain’t ready for the hood the way we bring it. QUINCY I smell you. KRISTA Say it with me you spent your collected life savings on a mattress some old guy came on, farted on, and most likely crapped on. VINNY That’s what I said! How do you know he wasn’t having orgies daily? How do you know he wasn’t a gay male pornstar? How do you know if he ate Mexican and forgot to wear his depends? What if? That’s the mattress you nimrods just spent one fifty on! I went from one idiot partner to five more! MARINO Yo, if yall chicks is Hollywood, send shout outs to our man George Jefferson. LUTHER Cuz we moving on uuuuuuuuppp! KRISTA You know what? Take this twenty dollars buy yourselves some Clorox and some Fabreze, and maybe that’ll keep the flesh eating bacteria from consuming you whole for a few weeks. With that Krista and Alix literally leap over the disgusting mattress and continue about their way

Just something to help you space out the show! COLE Folks, Saturday was our annual Anglemania Fan Mayhem where the OAOAST Galaxy converged on Ceasar’s Palace for the biggest party Vegas has ever seen! Let’s take a look! [size=5][B]OAOAST FAN MAYHEM[/b][/size] A montage of highlights from the event is played including superstars posing for pictures with fans, fans facing off against each other in OAOAST triva, Gilbert Arenas hosting a gun safety seminar, and pop starlet Ke$ha performing. Ned and Molly stand in the PictureZone posing for pictures. What else would they be doing at a PictureZone? MOLLY Its been an enlivening and enriching experience spending time with the fine OAOAST Galaxy. I honestly wish this were an opportunity that presented itself more frequently. Ned, do you share similar sentiments? NED You told me we were going to a titty bar. Jade Rodez-Duncan, sister Maya, and D*LUX are signing autographs at an autograph table. MAYA This would be pretty awesome, if I didn’t have a seven page paper on Merchant of Venice due on Monday morning 8:00 AM, and I’m on word three. Not page three. Word three. JADE Uh, yeah, its great. Everything is really cool. The people are so polite to. I think only four of them tried to grab my ass. TYLER Woah do we get to talk? We never get to talk! This is awesome! SHAYNE Say something intelligent, make us look smart. TYLER I like fans. SHAYNE Nevermind. Melody is at the No Homo station playing No Homo with an excited fan. The OAOAST Mark becomes even more excited when he succeeds in pinning Melody’s character MELODY No one beats me in No Homo! No one! (turns to security guards) Bake him away toys. GUARD What did you just say? MELODY Laughing out loud, yeah a Simpson’s reference….get him out of here!

~OAOAST Anglemania~ OAOAST WORLD TITLE: REJECT Vs MISTER DICK OAOAST TAG TEAM TITLES CHICKS OVER DICKS VS LDC MONEYGANG OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP MORGAN NERDLY VS CRYSTAL OAOAST SIX MAN TITLES CUCARACHA KINGDOM VS NATE BLACK AND THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND NON TITLE AFFAIRS SIN CITY STREET FIGHT THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS VS TEAM HEYROSS EIGHT MAN MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH VINNY VALENTINE VS BIFF ATLAS THIS SUNDAY!

Our scene is a… PARKING LOT. Entering the lot is Mister Dick, clad in a green tank top and jeans. Anger fills his face, and his knuckles are taped. He’s clearly ready for a fight. MISTER DICK Reject! Reject! Wear ya at, boy? You wanna see if I got balls? I’m about to slap them across yerr face, son! Mister Dick looks around furiously, his eyes demanding Reject’s appearance. MISTER DICK Come on! Come out, ya yellow tailed piece a trash! From the opening door of a Mercedes Benz REJECT appears. REJECT Hi, Jock. Glad to you see actually showed up. I guess I’ve got to hand it you, buddy. MISTER DICK I ain’t yer buddy. REJECT You do indeed have balls. But I have friends. MISTER DICK What do you mea- Before Mister Dick can even finish his thought, he’s struck in the back with a kendo stick by Sandman! Mister Dick crumples to the floor, leaving ThunderKid able to plant a nasty kick into his midsection. REJECT You never learn, Jock! This is your fault, you did this to yourself! Your blood is on your own hands, not mine! Elsewhere Arturas has barred the door, preventing any help from coming to Mister Dick. The rest of the Deadly Alliance then pummels The Human Hard On with brutal stomps, rendering him a bloody carcass. REJECT Through the window! Put him through the window! Now! THUNDERKID You're the boss. Smiles appear on Sandman and TK’s face as they bring a dazed and wounded MD to his feet. Without hesitation or thoughts to their conscience, they throw Mister Dick forward and send his head crashing through the Benz’s driver side window! MD’s body goes limp with pain as the pack of dogs hovers around him. Reject leans closest and shouts his bile into MD’s face. REJECT You will respect me! You will respect me! You will respect me! FADE OUT

Backstage we go as Terry Taylor peeks inside the dressing of COD. Through the crack we see Krista pacing uncontrollably while clutching the granny dress put on her earlier, Alix’s attempts to calm her down unsuccessful. * KNOCK, KNOCK * ALIX & KRISTA TAYLOR Guys, it’s me. Can I get a word? KRISTA TAYLOR Krista charges forward and drags Terry in. KRISTA Didn’t your mother always tell you to be a good egg? TAYLOR (strained) Yes. KRISTA Obviously CMJ and Spencer weren’t told because they turned out rotten. First they try to cut our hair. And now tonight they force their grandmother’s wardrobe on us?!? Either they have some twisted GILF fantasy they wish to play out or they’re trying to get us to crack hours before the tag title match at AngleMania. TAYLOR Psychological warfare in other words? Krista gags Terry with the granny dress. KRISTA I’m banking on the former because everybody who’s tried to make us crack has failed. ALIX Except for that one time, but that was eons ago. KRISTA But you know, everybody has a fantasy. ALIX Future Mrs. Krista Isadora Duncan! KRISTA My fantasy used to involve throwing Ned off a moving train, but now that we’re on speaking terms again I don’t want to anymore. So I came up with a new fantasy. ALIX Me, you, Academy Award-winner Charlize Theron, supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio, Maggie Gyllenhaal and pre-milkaholic Lindsay engaged in a wild sunset beach orgy? KRISTA Oh, that does sound nice… but no. I fantasize about CMJ and Spencer Reiger in dresses! And with AngleMania taking place in the gambling capital of the world, it only makes sense to put up a little wager. So why don’t we have the loser wear a dress for 30 days? According to the LDC Moneygang, we don’t stand a chance anyway. They might as well amuse us by accepting the wager. (glances at Terry) It looks like you have something to say. Do you? Terry nods and Krista removes the dress from his mouth. TAYLOR I’m told my colleague Tony Brannigan has tracked the LDC Moneygang down. Let’s go to him right now. We cut to Brannigan with the LDCMG and Theodore Moneymaker backstage where their limo awaits. BRANNIGAN You guys heard what COD had to say. Your response? REIGER You mad COD? All we did was make sure you came looking your best for our date at AngleMania. The LDCMG and Moneymaker laugh. CMJ As far as their challenge goes, you damn right were accept. It adds intrigue to a foregone conclusion. And when our hands are raised in victory, not only will COD have to wear something more their age… they’ll have to step into the kitchen and cook us a nice hot meal. MONEYMAKER How do you guys like your steaks? CMJ Medium rare. REIGER I prefer well done. Just like COD will be done at AngleMania. MONEYMAKER

Whenever the world famous interview stage is around you know Tony Brannigan is near. It's no different this week. The OAOAST Original perched at his usual spot. BRANNIGAN This Sunday night is AngleMania IX live exclusively on pay-per-view. Among the many exciting bouts you'll see that night is a Sin City Street Fight between the Heavenly Rockers and Team Heyross. Not only will it be the first Sin City Street Fight take place in Sin City itself, Las Vegas, it also marks the return of Quentin Benjamin to the ring since his near fatal encounter with a fireball courtesy of Colonel Abdullah Nerdly. At this time I'd like to introduce my guest this week, one-half of Team Heyross... CHARLIE MOSS! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moss acknowledges the crowd as he makes his way to the stage. BRANNIGAN Charlie Moss, big win over Logan Mann earlier this week on OAOAST Syndicated, but I know it'll pale in comparsion to a Team Heyross victory at AngleMania. MOSS To borrow a phrase, the clock is ticking. Quentin and I have been itching to get our hands on the Heavenly Rockers and their chicken manager Colonel Abdullah. Everybody I've talked to the past week has asked if we're ready for the hostile crowd that'll be on hand. My answer's been ask the Heavenly Rockers because they're in for a rude awakening if they expect to be greeted as returning heroes. And if the fans don't give it to them... we will. Quentin's been rehabbing every day for this moment and you can bet it'll be anything but a homecoming for the Heavenly Rockers. "Shine" cues and Moss exits. BRANNIGAN Like the Heavenly Rockers last week, Charlie Moss short and sweet with his remarks. What a war it's gonna be at AngleMania. COMMERCIAL

Master Blaster jams into the arena as Denzel Spencer sets off green and yellow pyrotechnics. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following eight person bout is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes! Introducing first….From Montego Bay, Jamaica... weighing two hundred, twenty five pounds. The OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPION... DDEEEEEENNZZZZZZEEEEEEELLLLLL... SSSSSPPPEEEEEENNCCCEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!! Denzel slides into the ring and showcases his Heartland title to the roaring audience. COLE All eight men in the Money In The Bank contest at Anglemania will be competing in this match, including Alfdogg who qualified at a non-televised event on Wednesday. The Wall by Kansas comes to life as the entry way fills with blue lights and matching smoke. Entrance doors shred apart bringing out the intimidating twosome of ThunderKid, Sandman. They stand tall and proud atop the entrance stage, unaffected by the jeers and taunts that swell around them. ThunderKid wears black bicycle tights with white lightening bolts down the side, and matching black boots and elbow pads. Sandman wears his traditional garb of bandanas, black sweatpants and a white sleeveless Deadly Alliance shirt. BUFFER First from Green Bay, Wisconsin, he is a former United States and tag team champion….THUNDERKIIIIDDDDDDDD! And his partner, a former Heartland Champion, he is from South Of Heaven, THE SAAAAAANDMAAAAAAAAN! “BOOOOOOOOO!” Magnum Opus begins playing, causing the lights to fade into a darkness. The arena stays under this erry blackness until the opening beats of the song kick in. Then a metalliac gold light hangs with forboding presence over the entrance way. It heralds the arrival of Alfdogg, who receives an explosive reception from the capacity crowd. BUFFER And their final partner…from Anderson, Indiana he weighes two hundred thirty seven pounds….he is a three time OAOAST world champion…ALFDOOGGGGGGGGGGG! The gold light cloaks Alf on his way down to ringside, as the former world champion holds his head high in self importance. He then enters the ring, brushing past the disdainful stares of ThunderKid and Sandman to settle in front of the main camera. His arms flare out to his sides, he drops to one knee, and a pyro wall comes to life behind him. COLE Now that’s an entrance! Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long Green and yellow lights fall across the neon entrance stage, while Kanye West’s smash hit “Jesus Walks” comes through the speakers. Wearing black slacks and a navy blazer, a smug Christian Wright emerges from the entrance way. At his side stands the equally confident and snobbish, Lorelei DeCenzo. The two Enterprise members hook arms and travel down the entrance ramp with noses held high as green pyro explodes at the side of the stage. BUFFER And the opponents… Now entering ringside, accompanied by Lorelei DeCenzo, he weighs 8 1/3 bars of gold, from Washington DC, he is THE GOD CHILD….CHRISTIAN WRIIIIGHTTTTT! Wright and Lorlei take up position at ringside, both discussing strategy and mocking the poor Rio Rancho audience. There’s a lot to mock. 3 Doors Down’s ode to the army “Citizen Soldiers” hits, and Baron Windells and Tim Cash storm through the entrance doors with purpose and intent. Behind the duo is Melody Nerdly, clad in daisy duke shorts and flannel top, warming up the audience and stirring their passions. Yes I’m reusing an entrance, leave me alone. BUFFER from Peoria, Illionois, he is Gentleman Tim Cash! And his partner he hails from San Antonio, Texas, he is The Lonestar Gunslinger….BARON WINDELLS! Accompanied by Melody Nerdly, they are…..CITIZEN SOLDIERS! Not at all happy with the selection of his partners, Wright keeps his distance from Cash and Windels, His revulsion continues to worsen when he hears the following song…. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" BOOOOM! A lightening bolt hits the entrance, electrifying the audience as the fan favorite PRL tears out the back. Smoke fills the entry way but just as soon at it forms its shredded apart by the roving figure of The Latin Lion. BUFFER From San Juan, Puerto Rico weighing in at two hundred twenty pounds he comes in as a former OAOAST world champion, a former 24/7 champion, and a former X Division Champion. He is THE GREAT ONE, THE LATIN LION, THA PUERTO RICAN! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Tim Cash, Baron Windells, Christian Wright, PRL Vs TK, Sandman, Alfdogg, and Denzel Spencer COLE A very odd position for Alfdogg to be in, teaming with his former Deadly Alliance teammates. I’m sure he doesn’t appreciate Josie’s selecting of the teams! Folks, we’ll be back with this exciting match! COMMERCIAL Back live on HeldDOWN Baron Windells is steam rolling through Sandman with powerful lariats! Sandman attempts to reach out towards his corner, but a pair of stomps keeps that plan halted. Windells lifts Sandman off the canavs in order to throw him into neutral corner. Sandman hits with such force that his entire body is propelled back towards the center of the ring. This allows Windells to snap him inside a front facelock. The crowd is brought to their feet by the sight of the Brigham Young Cocktail (leaping DDT!) A pinfall is quickly attempted by The Lonestar Gunslinger… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But TK arrives into the ring to break up the pinfall with a kick to BW’s back. Windels and the fans have a few words for TK as the Green Bay native slinks back to his team’s corner. As the fans continue to taunt TK, BW comes to his feet and drops a series of elbows onto his foe’s stomach. COLE Two great all star teams here in Rio Rancho, and a lot of animosity between many of these men. Windels scrapes Sandman off the canvas with the aid of a front facelock. He then drags him across the ring, where Christian Wright is able to apply a tag. “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “SILENCE!” Wright chides the audience for their disdain. Unfortunately for him, his distraction with the audience allows Sandman to begin elbowing him in the stomach. However, Sandman’s flurry of offense doesn’t last long. Wright is able to throw him into the canvas with a lethal snap powerslam. Referee Earl Hebner drops into position to score the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Sandman brings his shoulder off the canvas to the delight of a relived ThunderKid. He’s quickly brought to his feet by The God Child. However, Wright preens and postures allowing Sandman a moment of recovery. This regained strength allows him to rake the eyes of his snooty opponent. With Wright stunned, Sandman is able to make a crucial escape to his corner. There he suceeds in tagging in ThunderKid. The DA member struts across the ring to blast his foe in the chest with hard forearms. But CW is eventually able to block the attack pattern and returns fire with European uppercuts. The blows stagger TK and force him back towards the center of the ring. There he’s trapped inside an arm wringer, and brought down with tremendous force with a single arm DDT. While TK clutches his sore limb, Wright retreats to his corner to apply a tag with Tim Cash. COLE Wrestling’s last real good guy on his way into this affair. Cash takes aim at his opponent with a pair of jabs that weaken TK against the corner. Timmy then does the nice thing and answers BW’s call for a tag. The fans salute the arrival of BW with hearty cheers. He doesn’t disappoint them as he lays into the former US champion with brutal stomps to the stomach. Once done with his attacks, BW scrapes TK away from the corner. He then shoots him into the ropes, in order to flourish forward and connect with a beautiful lariat on TK’s rebound. With sore chest in mind, TK rolls over onto his stomach. But this leaves him open to a knee drop that connects perfectly with his skull. As he whimpers his miserey, BW grabs onto his leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alfdogg of all people breaks up the pinfall! This surprises the audience, who assumed he’d just as soon let TK lose the match. What doesn’t surprise them, however, is that he drags TK across the ring merely to tag himself into the contest. “YEAAAAAAAA!” Despite having his pin broken up, BW offers a respective nod to the OAOAST legend. The two brawlers then get down to business, trading powerful right hands that teeter them both. On the verge of losing the brawling war, Alfdogg stuns BW with an arm drag. BW tries to quickly scurry upright, but Alf holds him down with an armbar. COACH I gotta sit through this junk? Two men who don’t deserve to be in the money in the bank match. COLE Don’t deserve? You’ve clearly gone mad. Both these men are two of the finest competitors in the OAOAST. Windels manages to fight his way upright, no easy task given the treatment Alf’s given him. He begins using his free hand to pound away at Alf, and eventually secures his freedom. With Alf dazed for the moment, BW shoots himself into the ropes. On his return, he misses with a lariat, but delights the crowd by connecting with a bommerang lariat! COLE Myspace Comeback! Alf comes back to his feet, with his hand protecting his sore head. BW makes the mistake of attempting to remove this shield, and pays for it with a flesh rending knife edge chop that puts BW on his back. COLE The best in the business, unquestionably. Alf makes a cover attempt… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Alf drags BW up with the aid of a front facelock. A vertical suplex attempt is easily blocked by Windels, who then executes a shocking suplex of his own! Exhausted from the rough exchange, Windels decides to crawl to his corner and apply the tag with Cash. The good guy of the OAOAST enters the ring to pepper the former world champion with left jabs. Alf throws out a lariat in his defense, but misses entirely. This allows Cash to connect with a side Russian leg sweep to counter. Pleased with his performance, Cash gracefully bows out to PRL! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans chant as PRL takes a moment to SNIFF~! the air! PRL begins unleashing his legendary Rock style punches on Alf, snapping the Indiana native’s head to and fro like a tennis ball. But Alf once again uses a knife edge chop to shut down his opponent’s series of attacks. PRL remains dazed as Alf bounces off the ropes. The 3 time world champion returns to strike down his old rival with a running elbow. A pin attempt is then made…. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “Do better than that, Alf!” TK mocks his partner on the outside. Alf shouts back at his former friend, leading to a heated argument between the two. But the barking comes to a sudden end thanks to a school boy by PRL… ONE! TWO! Alf kicksout! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Alf is to his feet remarkably quickly, and lashes out with a spinning elbow. But PRL counters with a kick to the gut and stuns Alf, literally, with The Cappa Killer! COLE From out of nowhere! PRL falls back into his corner where Christian Wright makes a wise tag. The Wright enters the ring to find Alf back on his feet with alarming speed once more. CW pushes himself off the ropes in an effort to take Alf down. But the former world champion strides forward and catches his rival inside a sleeper hold. However, The God Child quickly counters with another stunner to Alf’s sore jaw! Feeling his oats, Wright rushes to his opponent’s corner and drags Denzel Spencer into the ring. COLE Now what is this? What is Christian Wright thinking? “I quarrel with you, good sir!” Wright shouts to Denzel as he begins smashing his chest with European Uppercuts. The God Child then ends the procession of uppercuts in order to attempt an irish whip. But Denzel reverses the hold and pulls Wright in close for a short arm knee strike! Leaving Wright hunched over and bone weary, Denzel pushes himself to the ropes. But as he comes back Wright returns to life and upends him with the Wright Off (sky high)! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” No pin may be attempted however, thanks to ThunderKid rushing into the ring and kicking Wright in the back of the head. TK turns to Alf and shouts, “That’s how you do it, Alfdo…” But he’s interrupted by a running bulldog from PRL! The Latin Lion pauses to sniff the air once more and the audience erupts with cheers. “PRL! PRL! PRL! PRL!” COLE They love The Latin Lion here in Rio Rancho, and what’s not to love? COACH Everything. COLE Folks, we’ll be back with more of this matchup after this! COMMERCIAL Returning from break we find Sandman with the advantage over Tim Cash, holding down the good guy with a chin lock. Cash’s teammates, aside from Wright, root him on, urging him to hold strong. While on the opposite end of the ring, TK barks for a quick submission. “TIMMY! TIMMY! TIMMY!” the audience sings, providing the strength Cash needs to begin fighting out the hold. COLE So much animosity exists between these two men. I bet Sandman is trying to rip Cash’s head off! COACH I can’t blame him for trying. Thanks to the great support of Rio Rancho, Cash is able to make his way upright. He breaks free of Sandy’s hold, and thanks the capacity crowd for their acts of kindess. Unfortunatley, being a good guy does not pay off at this moment; Sandman brings Cash to the ground with a surprise flapjack. COACH I love it! A pinfall attempt is made by Sandman… ONE! TWO! Cash brings his shoulder off the canvas, easing the hearts of his nervous team. Annoyed with not getting a three count, Sandman makes a begrudging tag to Denzel Spencer. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” Denzel celebrates his more normal arrival into the contest with some carribeian dancing, before getting down to business. He grabs onto Cash’s arm and throws his rival into the corner. He then charges in after him and takes to the skies to hit a devastating body splash! Cash stumbles out the corner, the punishment he’s taken wearing on his face. That look is replaced by one of compelete blankness as Denzel takes him down with an axe kick! COLE Oh my! What a strike! And what a beating Tim Cash has taken in just a few moments at the hands of Denzel Spencer? COACH Nothing but what that sucka ass sucka deserves, Mikey. Just wish it was a cooler cat to deliver it to him. Denzel hooks the legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Cash finds the strength and the will to push himself out the pinfall. As he begins to slowly come to his feet, Denzel takes off into the ropes. He returns with another axe kick. But this time its Cash scoring with an enziguri! The Heartland Champion flips over to the canvas, brought down by the beautiful attack of Cash. His team begs him for a tag, all except CW, who seems uninterested in the proceedings. “Jesus! Can’t you do any better than that?” TK barks at Denzel, earning him a stern stare of admonishment from Alfdogg. Meanwhile both men make a crawl to their corners, the fans rooting them both on in their journey. Their exhausted bodies are allowed to rest for the time being as tags are made to Wright and Alfdogg. “Very well, if I must.” Wright bemoans his fate. However, his luck is far better than he expected as he’s able to overpower Alf with his European uppercuts. An irish whip attempt is reserved, but Wright earns the last laugh with a snap powerslam that gains a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alf makes a timely kickout! “ALF IS GOD! ALF IS GOD! ALF IS GOD!” Wright turns furious eyes onto the audience, “I am The God Child!” Wright makes Alf pay for the audience’s transgressions with a painfull inverted atomic drop. As Alf is hobbled by the attack, Wright measures him up and takes him down with a nasty European uppercut. COACH Man, look at the way Christian Wright is using them things tonight. He’s just lighting boys up! “Your frog splash shalt be your doom!” Wright informs Alf to a chorus of jeers. His loafers carry him up to the top rope where he seeks to bring upon his prediction. Without wasting a second of time he flies forward with the Frog Splash! But Alf has the wits about him to move out the way! Wright crashes stomach first into the rock solid canvas and howls in misery. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The fans delight may be expanded even further as Alf grabs onto Wright’s legs and begins setting up for the Sharpshooter! “SHARPSHOOTER! SHARPSHOOTER! SHARPSHOOTER!” But disappointment is all the audience will find as Wright succeeds in sucking Alfdogg down into a pinfall effort… ONE! TWO! Alf finds his way out the troubling pinfall, and regains hold of Wright’s legs! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” The sharpshooter is fully executed as Wright is turned over onto his stomach. The audience rises to their feet, fully expecting the end of CW’s unbeaten streak. The God Child shrieks in agony, and desperately reaches out for the ring cables. But the closer he gets to salvation the tighter the hold becomes until he can move no further. COLE He’s going to tap, Coach! He has to tap! I just don’t see how he can survive much longer. He doesn’t have to as PRL rescues him with a dropkick to Alf’s back! Alf is forced to let go of CW, much to the fans’ chagrin. To Alf’s chagrin PRL traps him inside a front facelock in set up of the PR Nightmare! But before the finisher can even be executed The PR Menace is sent flying over the top rope by a lariat from ThunderKid! “I just saved your ass.” TK chuckles at Alfdogg. COLE Folks, we will be back with more of this great matchup on HeldDOWN~! COMMERCIAL We return from break with Sandman battering at PRL’s skull with mounted punches. “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” Through with pounding at PRL’s skull, Sandman leaves the wounded superstar behind and makes a tag to ThunderKid. The audience does not receive ThunderKid very well, pestering him with jeers. He pays them little attention as he strikes his thunderbolt boots into PRL’s knee. COACH This has turned into a handicap match since commercial, dudes is straight ethering PRL and for once I feel safe with that fool ass around. TK grabs onto PRL’s leg and snaps it to the side, causing the former world champion a great deal of anguish. TK then grabs onto the leg and twists and torques it, sending screams through PRL’s throat. “Give up!” TK demands. Despite the pain, PRL snaps back, “Go to hell!” “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” the fans sing led on by Tim Cash and Melody. Not wanting to disappoint his Lightening Bolts with a submission loss, PRL begins fiercly fighting out TK’s leg trap. He uses his free foot to kick and wack at TK, doing only little to win his freedom. His efforts are then shut down by TK driving an elbow onto his bad leg. “P-R-L! P-R-L! P-R-L!” COLE Its been a tough several minutes for PRL. COACH And hopefully it gets tougher! Let’s see someone snap his ankle. Alfdogg may do just that as he makes a blind tag with ThunderKid. The two men get into each other’s face and spew hateful diatribes at the other. Thankfully for their team, the referee comes between them and calls for a separation. Free of ThunderKid’s annoyances, Alfdogg is able to wrap PRL up inside a leg lock. COLE Two OAOAST legends going at it, live on HeldDOWN days before Anglemania. Once again a pained PRL must put his free leg to use. He uses it to batter Alf with ferocious kicks to the head. Eventually they do enough to cause Alf to break the leg lock entirely. But PRL isn’t in the clear yet, as Alfdogg begins pulling him to his feet. However, Alf and the fans are taken for a shock when The People’s Champion hits Alf with his second Cappa Killer! COLE Again from out of nowhere! PRL’s team calls for an urgent and much needed tag. However with a wounded leg, movement is a difficult prospect for PRL. Stubborn to the last, PRL fights to his feet but refuses to make the tag with his partners. Instead he goes toe to toe with Alfdogg, trading blows with the OAOAST legend. COACH Selfish, selfish, selfish. That’s all PRL is. He’s just in it for the glory! PRL begins gaining the upperhand with his Rock style punches. He sniffs the electricity in the air once more before throwing a haymaker Alf’s way. But Alf ducks the wild attack and grabs hold of PRL’s waist. From there he bridges backwards and sends PRL crashing to the canvas with a belly to belly overhead suplex. “ALF!” “PRL!” “ALF!” “PRL!” COLE An audience divided here in Rio Rancho. Both men command tremendous respect from the OAOAST Galaxy. Alf dives on top of PRL’s prone body for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! PRL summons up the strength to power out the pinfall. This earns a mini temper tantrum from TK, who blames Alf for failing to secure a crucial pinfall. COLE What did TK expect? You’re dealing with a former world champion. They aren’t easy to keep down. Alf attempts to slap on the sharpshooter to great fanfare from the sold out audience. But PRL will not tolerate being locked into certain defeat and furiously kicks at Alf. With much strength and much luck, he succeeds in kicking Alfdogg back to his corner. There Sandman makes a blind tag that does not endear him to his one time associate. Entering into the ring, Sandman spears Baron Windells off the ring apron! Tim Cash complains about this questionable tactic to the referee. Unfortunately for him his complaints earn him a straight left hand from Sandy. Wizened after these brutal attacks, Wright merely hops off the apron and takes up position at Lorelei’s applauding side. COLE What cowardice. “Discretion is the better part of valor!” Lorelei shouts at the judgmental announcer. Sandman picks PRL up by the bad leg. PRL reaches backwards, expecting to be able to make a tag with somebody. Yet there is no somebody available, as all men have been forced to vacate the premises one way or another. With PRL left by his lonesome Sandman cracks a small smile at his miserable fate. But that smile is quickly erased by an enziguri from The People’s Champ! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans explode as Sandman timbers over to the canvas. COLE But there’s no one there for PRL to tag! Seizing on an opportunistic moment, Wright leaps onto the ring apron. “A hero has arrived!” he shouts to a downpour of boos. PRL stands up, gazes at a man proclaiming to be his savoir and…..GIVES HIM THE FINGER! WRIGHT “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Spurred on by the cheers of the Lightening Bolts, PRL hobbles forward and takes Sandman off his feet with a thunderous lariat! ThunderKid then enters the ring and meets with a similar fate. Although reluctantly, Alfdogg steps into the ring to challenge PRL. But he’s thrown over by a Rock style belly to belly suplex. No sooner than he hits the ground does Denzel take to the air with a cross body block! But he’s taken out the skies by a dropkick from PRL! COLE Where is he getting this strength from? COACH Bad booking. Coach’s spirits are lifted by quite a wide margin when TK accosts PRL with clubbing forearms. He quickly hooks him inside a front facelock and wastes no time in driving him downwards with the Thunderbolt DDT! PRL’s head is snapped against the ground and his body goes almost lifeless from the attack. On Sandman’s orders, TK attempts a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Baron Windells returns to break up the pinfall! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Suddenly PRL’s entire team, minus Christian Wright floods into the ring. A lariat from Tim Cash sends both he and Alfdogg tumbling out the ring! As soon as each man hits the ground they promptly spring to their feet and resume trading blows. This leaves them open to any sort of aerial attack. Its Denzel Spencer who comes through with the high flying theatrics as he wipes out both men with a no hands plancha! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheers die down considerably as Sandman and TK leap out the ring to begin raining down wild punches upon the fun loving Jamacian. COLE They’ve jumped their own teammate! As odd as that may have been its nowhere near as odd as Christian Wright cracking PRL across the skull with a steel chair! PRL topples over to the canvas, all the life ripped from his body. Wright towers over him, offering him a stern lecture on proper teamwork etiquette. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” DING DING DING HAHAHAAH PATTY FUCKED YA’LL OVER! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled this match a no contest! The fans are irate and toss up loud and genuine hatred. The scene is one of utter chaos as a brawl has erupted on the outside between Cash, Alf, Spencer and the Deadly Alliance. In the ring Christian his commandeered a microphone, which only further outrages the audience. WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self- BARON HITS THE BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT~!!!~~!!!! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans sing their glee as Wright is finally silenced. COACH Uncalled for! Windells takes to the top rope where he basks in the outpouring of appreciative cheers from the sold out audience. He claps his hands in triumph and promises to the fans that he will bring home the Money In The Bank briefcase and then the world title. COMMERCIAL