King Cucaracha

Because they come off like a fucking idiot. Like you. Heh. When reading a thread that has a lot of people bitching about spelling and such, you just know there's always going to be somebody who comes along with terrible spelling and grammar who can't spell for shit. Way to miss the irony guys. Or should that be 'Way to miss the irony, guys'? Is the comma neccessary?

Orton has always struck me as a good old-school kind of guy. He doesn't have a lot of standout qualities which makes some people mistake that for him being bad at things, where-as he's perfectly good at them. He does the little things really well, although perhaps doesn't do some of the big things as well. The one standout thing he's got going for him I'd say, he's a good bumper. Not a 'Jeff Hardy' good bumper where he does crazy stuff to get over, but someone who sells moves effectively. By the by, I'm not saying I want Orton as World Champion right now. I'm not THAT big of a fan of his. He does tend to need a 'crutch' when he's in the main event, something or someone to play off. I like Finlay, but he gets out-popped by a leprechaun. They had to pull the plug on his face-turn because he wasn't getting a reaction, if I recall. I wouldn't call Umaga 'terrible'. I never used to be a fan but ever since he came back from his run with All Japan he's been really effective and efficient at what he actually does. He probably made Cena look as good as anyone since this 'Superman' run began, he managed to make the feud with Kane watchable. The gimmick is no great shakes, but the guy has made the most of it.

HI-YAH Tag is in. I will try and actually feedback later, I think I've come up with some sort of format to disguise the fact I can't offer much in the way of relevant feedback.

Got over on his own merits? Are we talking about the year where he got to hang out with the most over heel in the company, cleanly beat 90% of the roster, soundly embarrass a number of wrestling legends and beat the piss out of Mick Foley for 3 or 4 months? That year? Yeah, he definitely got over on his own merits. Yeah, pretty much that year I'd say. He got over before Foley came along. Did he get put with Evolution? Yeah and he held his own well enough to get over. Did he get a jump-start because of the Legend Killer gimmick? Yeah, that's the point of gimmicks, genius. What do you class as 'own merits', exactly, because by your standards nobody got over on their own merits everything was booked for them. The hot-shot face turn was terrible booking. His entire feud with Taker was terrible booking. He's barely won a match all year. Up until the face turn he was over, which COINCIDENTALY just happened to be when he was booked correctly. Gee whizz, I wonder why he's not as popular now as he was then, maybe he just plain sucks! Or maybe it's bad booking, turning him face when he's clearly not able to pull the role off?

The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, and out from the curtains and through the smoke come the OAOAST X-Division Champion Tha Puerto Rican, the OAOAST Women's Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and PRL's manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH The X-CHAMP IS HERE! COLE The new X-Division Champion set for tag team action here on HeldDOWN~! and... I don't see a partner. You don't think he'll be teaming with Lindsay do you Coach? COACH He could do worse than the Women's Champion. PR looks at the crowd in disgust, jawing with some fans. He looks at Popick, and the two of them begin their walk down the entrance ramp. Chants of "P.R. SUCKS!" fill the arena as PRL and Popick continue their walk to the ring. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! On the way to the ring, being accompanied by STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK and the OAOAST Women's Champion, MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ! From San Juan, Puerto Rico... he weighs in tonight at two hundred and twenty pounds. He is the new OAOAST X-Division Champion of the WORLD... THA PPUUUEEEERRRRRTTOOOOOOOOOO RRRIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Popick holds the ropes, and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around, soaking in the fans boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still booing loudly and chanting "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands. He then heads to another second turnbuckle, patting his X-Division Title belt before he raises his hands again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises his right arm in the air and "smells the electricity" a'la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, recieving boos. COACH Man, how great is it to see PRL with gold around his waist once again? COLE It certainly makes that darn catchphrase of his less redundant. Although, it seems normal service was resumed earlier tonight when PRL refused to grant Dance Dance Dragon a title-shot now that he's the champion. COACH You heard what he said, Dragon doesn't deserve a rematch so he's not getting one. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes, removes his sunglasses and earring, and chats with Popick while the lights go back on in the arena. "Know Your Role '99" dies down as a deep, slow voiced man yells out, "LIGHTNING CREW!" and the opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts up as the crowd stands up and boos. BUFFER And, his partner... The AngleTron shows a picture of Cuban Wall posing in front of a Cuban flag with CUBAN WALL written to the right side of the screen in big white blocky letters. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH HA HA! Yes, the Champs are ALL Here! Strobe lights appear on the entrance set, while smoke fills the entryway. The crescendo hits, and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing. A few seconds later, Cuban Wall comes out to loud boos. Cuban Wall looks at the crowd and pumps his right fist into the air, with his 24/7 Champion draped over that same shoulder, then proceeds to walk to the ring, his eyes focused soley on it, with a serious expression on his face. In the ring, PRL applauds his partner BUFFER Hailing from Havana, Cuba! He weighs in tonight at two hundred and eight five pounds... the new OAOAST 24/7 Champion... THE CCUUUUUBBAAAAAAAAAAAANN WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wall shadow boxes a little bit, and then enters the ring over the top rope. Wall nods over at PRL as he walks to the hard camera side of the ring and does The Lightning Crew Salute. Wall jaws with a few of the fans as "No Chance In Hell" fades, PRL joining in on the abuse of the fans. COLE Well, we've got the X-Division Champion and the 24/7 Champion, by any accounts a formidable team. But considering both these men are part of the Lightning Crew and are used to working with each other, this looks like bad news for Dance Dance Dragon and his partner. "Time goes by, so slowly Time goes by, so slowly Time goes by, so slowly..." As PRL and Wall stand tall with their titles, not to mention Lindsay in the background, the clock begins to tick down as "Hung Up" by Madonna begins to play. A DDR stage hollogram shines down across the stage as the song kicks up a gear, the strobes go into overdrive, illuminating The Dance Dance Dragon! Dragon and his scantily-clad backing dancers proceed to break it down in Portland as the crowd go wild! BUFFER And, their opponents! First, hailing from Heaven's Dancefloor! He weighs in at one hundred, ninety nine pounds... "THE STRONG STYLE PARTY ANIMAL"... DANCE! DANCE! DDRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGOOOOOOOOOONN!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Dragon continues to dance down the aisle until he reaches the end of the rampway. Upon seeing the two Lightning Crew members he decides to wait it out until he's got some back-up, despite PRL's taunts as he hangs the X-Title over the ropes trying to entice DDD into the ring early. COACH I bet whoever got coaxed into teaming with Dragon is re-thinking their decision right now. COLE Well Dragon didn't have a whole lot of time to find a partner, but then again you don't have to travel too far down these halls to find one of PRL's enemies. The arena grows silent now, anticipating the partner... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Oh, MY! ...and they promptly ERUPT as "Liberate" by Disturbed powers out through the Rose Garden Arena! The doors part again and through them marches Bohemoth, striding down the aisle with a glare shining through his orange tinted sunglasses. Cuban Wall growls at seeing the man he took the 24/7 Championship from as beside him, PRL's jaw DROPS! BUFFER And, on his way to the ring is his partner! Hailing from Greenville, South Carolina and weighing two hundred and eighty four pounds... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEEEEMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Making light work of the aisleway, Bohemoth jogs up the ring steps and pulls off his trusty orange shades. PRL quickly scuttles out of the ring, taking Popick and Lindsay with him, while Cuban Wall follows a little slowly after them. Bo marches across the ring and pulls his shades off as he locks eyes with Wall, Dragon joining his partner in the ring now. COLE Man, what a coup from The Dance Dance Dragon! Bohemoth, the man who was robbed of both the Money In The Bank Battle Royal and the 24/7 Championship at AngleMania by Cuban Wall, having eliminated Wall himself. And you've got to figure Bo will be fired up for this one. COACH Now, how the hell did Dragon get Bohemoth as his partner!? COLE I doubt he had much of a say in the matter actually. COACH Well duh, he doesn't speak! COLE That's not what I meant... but, yeah. Regrouping the troops, PRL calls a quick team conference as Bohemoth tells his partner in no uncertain terms that he'll be starting the match. Dragon seems content with that and seeing that The Meterosexual Monster is starting, PRL pats the 24/7 Champion on the back and tells his man to 'go get him!' *DINGDINGDING!* Wall walks up the steps as Bohemoth has to be held back by referee Nick Patrick. Not looking intimidated Wall climbs in over the top rope and jaws at Bo, who breaks away from Patrick and squares up to the man who took his title. Eventually, Wall says one word too many and eats a right hand! Wall retaliates, but then so does Bo... and before you know it, it's breaking down, Bohemoth and Wall slugging it out in the centre of the ring right hand for right hand! "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" Landing a couple of big soupbones, Wall manages to get the better of the exchange and goes to whip Bohemoth to the ropes. But it's revered and it's Wall who hits the ropes, barging back into Bo with a shoulder tackle... and nobody moves! COLE These two men very evenly matched. The two bigmen square up again for a second before Wall makes for the ropes again, hitting another shoulder block. Again neither man goes down. But just as it looks like the big Cuban will try for a third time, he suckers Bohemoth with a soupbone of a right hand and instead sends him for the ride. Underneath a clothesline goes Bohemoth though, building up some speed as he tackles Wall and knocks him down with a shoulder block! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Scooping Wall right back up, Bo delivers another right hand! And again! Turning on his heels, The Meterosexual Monster now hits the ropes and builds up another head of steam. This time though he gets beaten to the punch, as Cuban Wall raises a big right boot and catches Bo right on the BUTT of the jaw! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" PRL screams at Wall to make the cover, which he does on his leader's say-so... 1... 2... Kickout. Wall now helps Bo back up and begins to lead him over to the Lightning Crew corner in order to tag PRL in. However, the X-Division Champion quickly tells Wall that he's doing a good enough job himself and not to make the tag *just yet*. Wink wink. So Wall follows orders again and turns Bohemoth back around, pulling Bo forward into a Short Arm Clothesline. COLE PRL, not too eager to get into the match it would seem. COACH Ah ah, let's not start with that. It's simple tag team tactics, you keep the bigman in against the bigman at the start of the match and let him wear the opponent down, then you bring the smaller half of the team in later. Don't go implying things here. Measuring Bo, Wall drives the flat of his boot into the back of his head as he tries to get up. A second stomp finds the mark. And then a third, Wall looking pretty good now as he leads Bohemoth to his feet. Wall pulls back and delivers a big headbutt before locking on a front facelock. But Bo suddenly drives forward and charges Cuban Wall all the way back into his corner, where Dance Dance Dragon makes a blind tag. Bohemoth doesn't seem to notice, driving in with his shoulder a couple more times before he's finally told to leave the ring by the referee, while DDD lines up on Wall... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and connects with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second, Wall absorbing the strikes seemingly. The Strong Style Party Animal keeps on the attack with a couple of forearms, until Wall shoves him away, prompting Dragon to hit the ropes. But as he sprints back, Wall throws out a hand and grabs Triple D around the throat with a mighty hand! COACH Alright, BIG Chokeslam coming... ...or not, as Dragon suddenly punts Wall in the kneecap, sending the bigman hobbling away into a neutral corner! Dragon follows in after him and dives, landing a big forearm strike in the corner! The 285 pounder shakes it off as he comes out of the corner, DDD waiting on him and leaping him with an attempted DDT. Attempted being the operative word as Wall catches Dragon over his shoulder, walking him into the centre of the ring before simply throwing him up in the air and letting him flapjack down to the canvas!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Wow. Almost effortless from the 24/7 Champion. COACH I wonder how Bohemoth feels about Dragon tagging himself in, huh? Wall stalks over DDD, alerted by signals from his corner. This time, PRL's demands are pretty simple. He wants the tag. And he GETS it, to the expected reaction. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And of course NOW PRL wants in, now that he's got an opponent prone, now that Bohemoth is out of the ring. PRL waltzes into the ring and starts to go to town on the fallen Dragon, stomping away with his shaky leg kicks all over the body of The Masked Dance Assassin. Kick after kick, until referee Nick Patrick moves in to stop PRL, who is all fired up~! "P - R SUCKS!" "P - R SUCKS!" "P - R SUCKS!" "P - R SUCKS!" Pulling Dragon to his feet PRL leads him to the ropes and executes an irish whip, sending DDD for the ride. On the rebound PRL leapfrogs up and over, waiting on the rebound before reverse leapfrogging up and over, almost showing off now as he sweeps Dragon over with the arm drag as he comes back again. PRL jumps right back to his feet and "smells the electricity" as the Portland crowd continue to get on his case. COACH Man, PR looking so crisp! That's what being the Champion does for you, gives you all the confidence in the world. COLE As if PRL needed any more confidence to begin with. Not letting up on Dragon as he comes to his feet, PRL follows Dragon into the ropes and lands with a right hand. Another. Another. Spits on the hand... and connects with the final punch, staggering Triple D. The ropes ease Dragon out towards the centre of the ring, PRL landing a quick kick to the gut to set Dragon up before making for the ropes, speeding back and executing a Swinging Neckbreaker dead centre in the middle of the ring. The perfect position it would seem, as Tha Puerto Rican jogs to the ropes, coming to a stop next to DDD and dusting off his shoulder, before dropping the fist right in the middle of the eye portal!! COACH Five Knuckle Shuffle! COLE That's some X-Division action for ya! COACH Hey, show some respect for that devestating move! PRL quickly hooks the leg on Dragon... 1... 2... No! COLE Well Tha Puerto Rican knows well enough after AngleMania, Dragon's not going to go down easily. Unfortunately for PRL, he hasn't got any boxing personalities around tonight to hand him weapons. COACH No, but Popick's here... COLE ... COACH ...I mean... uhm... COLE Exactly. PRL begins to pull Dragon up and suddenly locks eyes with Bohemoth, which seems to throw him for a second. That gives Dragon the opportunity to fight back with some forearms deep to the breadbasket. PRL fires down with some shots to calm DDD down though, before lifting him up and rattling him with a European Uppercut! And a second European! Tha Puerto Rican then executes a quick and simple vertical suplex, putting Dragon in place for a more conventional Fist Drop than his last. 1... 2... Kickout! Popping right back up, PRL drops a second fist and tries again... 1... 2... Kickout! And a third time the fist comes down, the leg hooked tight... 1... 2... Another kickout! PRL DAMN IT REFEREE!! "P - R SUCKS!" "P - R SUCKS!" "P - R SUCKS!" "P - R SUCKS!" Getting on the referee's case isn't the wisest move PRL could make right now and he forgets all about Dragon as he lectures him on his count. It's only when Lindsey convinces him to turn around that he sees Dragon making for his corner, capturing his trailing ankle just in time to cut off the tag. A confident smirk creeps over PRL's face as he holds Dragon away from the tag, talking down to the perennial underdog. But you don't earn the label of 'perennial underdog' without some fighting spirit, Dragon exhibiting that as he hops up onto one foot... *SMACK!* ...and NAILS Tha Puerto Rican with an Enziguri! PRL Flair Flops to the canvas, letting go of the ankle as Dragon makes a sudden spurt AND MAKES THE TAG! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" In comes Bohemoth as PRL staggers up from his facedown position on the canvas. And the moment he sees Bohemoth stalking towards him, the X-Division Champion jumps out of his skin like a cat spotting it's own reflection in a mirror and ZIPS across the ring to tag in Cuban Wall!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Oh, come ON! What was that!? COACH Okay, maybe PR is a little reluctant to wrestle Bohemoth right now... COLE A little reluctant!? He just RAN AWAY the moment Bo got near him!! The crowd get on PRL's back on the outside as he complains of a 'pulled muscle' and gets his fiancee to tend to him. All this is a minor distraction as Cuban Wall comes back into the match and again begins to throw the heavy leather with Bohemoth, right back to where we started as the two bigmen exchange right hands! Bohemoth has the adrenaline rush this time and beats Wall back against the ropes, whipping him across the ring. Back bounces Wall and Bohemoth BACKDROPS THE 285 POUNDER to everybody's shock!! COLE WOW! Wall climbs up clutching his back and suddenly for the first time Wall isn't quite so forthcoming. Bo is though and delivers a hard right hand before looking to send Wall to the ropes again. A reversal this time though sends Bohemoth to the ropes... ...and to a stumbling halt, AS PRL GRABS HIS ANKLE FROM THE OUTSIDE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Breathing a sigh of relief, PRL pats Popick on the shoulder, before turning around... to see Bohemoth GLARING at him! PRL OH DEAR GOD... *WHAM!* Luckily for PRL, Wall saves him as he levels Bohemoth from behind with a knee just as he begins to exit the ring after him. Wall then pulls Bo away from the ropes and grabs him by the throat. He pauses for a second however, as a sudden blur of black comes flying past him, courtesy of The Dance Dance Dragon, soaring through the ropes AND WIPING OUT BOTH PRL AND POPICK WITH A TOPÉ!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Dragons can fly! As the heap of bodies crash to the floor though, the crowd's attentions turn to the ring, as Cuban Wall still has Bohemoth by the throat. And as he grabs the tights, it's a noticeable repeat of AngleMania, as he PLANTS Bohemoth with the Chokeslam! COACH YES! Wall got him, that's what won him the 24/7 Title! COLE That and a chair, yeah... Wall drops down and hooks the leg... 1... 2... NO, KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE ...but it WON'T win him the match tonight, not yet at least! Fuming, Wall brings Bohemoth right back up into the goozle again and gives the signal for a second Chokeslam! However Wall doesn't notice Dance Dance Dragon appearing back into view, scaling the turnbuckles and launching off the top with a Missile Dropkick to save his partner! Wall doesn't go down from the dropkick. But he does free Bohemoth, allowing The Meterosexual Monster to charge forward and MOW Wall down with the MURDERLINE~! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a clothesline! He just took The Cuban Wall down with one big arm! COACH The referee has lost all control, he needs to get one of these two out of the ring! Bohemoth, for example. COLE Yeah, because otherwise it's two on one, because PRL's not coming back in if Bohemoth is in. COACH That's not why I said it! The referee isn't needed however as Bohemoth shoo's his partner away and takes over on Wall himself. An irish whip sends Wall across the ring into a neutral corner, Bo following in and crushing the Cuban in the corner with a big Clothesline! Out staggers Wall, scooped up impressively onto the shoulder of Bohemoth, who turns to the centre of the ring ready for a big Running Powerslam. However, as Bo begins the running he loses Wall, the bigman able to slide down off the back and land on his feet. Bohemoth slams on the brakes and turns around, taking a boot to the gut from Wall and getting pulled in ready for a Powerbomb! But that won't be happening either, as Bohemoth backbody drops his way out of it! Wall climbs up and it degenerates again, as Bohemoth and Cuban Wall instantly go back to trading heavy right hands. "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" As the bigman go at it, referee Nick Patrick is desperately waving his hands, trying to get noticed as he hopes to get them to stop with the closed fists. Good luck with that though. In the background meanwhile, Dragon watches on, waiting for a chance to get involved. But the chance isn't coming, as Bo and Wall continue to go punch for punch. Bo! Wall! Bo! Wall! Bo! Wall! Bo! Wall! Bo... ...NO! Bohemoth stops short as his elbow encounters some resistance, in the form of poor Nick Patrick's orbital bone! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Okay, that's a DQ! COLE That looked unintentional to me. The referee got a little too close to the action there. Bohemoth's concern costs him as Wall suddenly gets the better of him and fires off with the soupbones. As the referee hits the deck clutching his eye, Dragon tries to get involved. But he takes a clearly intentional elbow from Wall as he shrugs The Masked Dance Assassin off. Meanwhile, on the outside, there's a commotion as Michael Buffer is on his feet. The reason being, his chair is gone, now in the hand of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, who sneaks it to PRL and points out to her man that there's no referee. Which is all the excuse PRL needs as he slides into the ring with chair in hand. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Watch out now, PRL with a chair! As Dragon climbs to his feet, his lack of peripheral vision would seem to indicate he doesn't see PRL stalking behind him. PR waves Triple D to his feet, virtually ignoring the battle between Cuban Wall and Bohemoth, as The Meterosexual Monster suddenly lunges forward and takes Wall down with a desperation clothesline! As Bo pushes himself back up, Dragon meanwhile turns aimlessly around, right into the path of Tha Puerto Rican who's waiting with a wild home-run swing with the chair... *CRACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...SMASHING [i]BOHEMOTH[/i] RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH A THUNDEROUS CHAIRSHOT!!! COACH What a shot! That's how you swing a chair baby! Lindsay and Popick jump on the outside, celebrating the vicious chairshot as you'd expect them to. But in stark contrast, PRL isn't celebrating. He stands over Bohemoth in shock, the chair hanging at his side as he freezes in horror at what just happened. Infact, it's left to Cuban Wall to deal with Dance Dance Dragon, marching past PRL and clotheslining Triple D hard enough to knock him right out of the ring. Lindsay hurriedly yells at her future hubby to get rid of the chair but PRL doesn't seem to hear her, just watching as Wall backs off the ropes, passing PR on his way back with the LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH on Bohemoth!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With his one good eye, Nick Patrick is guided over to the pin by Popick, Wall covering tightly for the... 1... 2... AND THREE!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Wall got him again! COLE Again thanks to a chair! And by PRL's hands... I don't think he can quite believe what just happened. Quickly PRL backs out of the ring, still holding the dented chair as he still sports a shocked look on his face. Lindsay and Popick guide him out, handing him his X-Division Championship, as Wall exits on the other side of the ring and raises his fist in victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of THE CUBAN WALL and THA PUERTO RICAN... THE LIGHTNIIIIINNGG CCRRRRREEEEEWWWWWWWWW!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Wall seems pretty happy but PRL still doesn't look too happy about what just happened, watching wide-eyed as Bohemoth has groggily sat up. And as he looks up at the aisleway, it's clear to the world that he is PISSED~! PRL hides the dented chair behind his back in perhaps the most pathetic attempt at innocence ever, before discarding the chair altogether and scuttling ahead off towards the back while Bo slumps back to the canvas holding his head. COLE The Lightning Crew may have scored the victory... but I think PRL just signed his own death warrant!

You mean Kane's dad.

Jesus Christ. It's funny how people forget that Orton got over on his own merits as Intercontinental Champion, with his 'virtually no charisma' and 'simple promos', before he was killed by bad booking. He's nowhere near as bad as everybody rejoices in making out (at least he knows how to sell a bodypart, unlike a certain WWE Champion). Funny to think he was an IWC darling a few years ago for taking a thumbtack bump. How times change.

"Your name is... Hugh Morrus? What? Is that supposed to be humourous? What?" That was fantastic, but it provided one of the biggest missed opportunities of the whole Invasion angle, running Stone Cold vs. Tazz. I guess by then they'd already decided on the ending and turning Austin back to a face, but I believe they could have made Tazz into a star if they'd matched him up to Austin. The fans were begging for it. They did match them up. Tazz jobbed in two minutes, IIRC. Yeah, that's kinda what I meant. If they matched him up to Austin in a legitimate program rather than what they did do, which I guess was pairing him up with Spike Dudley. Again, once they decided to turn Austin face then I guess that would have been impossible because they would have needed a PPV one on one match and Tazz only really turned face before Survivor Series IIRC.

COLE Standing by, Josh Matthews is with our new X-Division Champion. Take it away Josh... The camera cuts to the HeldDOWN~! interview area where Josh "J. Math" Matthews is joined by both "The Corporate Champion" and now also the OAOAST X-Division Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, plus his soon to be better half, the new OAOAST Women's Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. PRL grins away to himself with his arm around Lindsay's shoulders, both wearing their respective belts proudly over their shoulders. MATTHEWS PR, just under two weeks ago at AngleMania, The Lightning Crew had one heck of a night, capturing three championships and gaining another big victory in the 3 on 2 Handicap Match. Tonight The Lightning Crew could add to your recent success even better as Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua challenge for the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships... it's fair to say, it's a good time to be Tha Puerto Rican right now. PRL It's ALWAYS a good time to be Tha Puerto Rican Josh Matthews! You're darn right The Lightning Crew had a heck of a night at AngleMania. We stole the show. We dominated. We OWNED AngleMania VI! Infact, henceforth, I believe that AngleMania VI should no longer be referred to as 'Etched In Stone'. It should be referred to from now on as The Corporate AngleMania! The X-Man slayed the OAOAST legends. Cuban Wall, he took the 24/7 Championship that I made so famous. My beautiful fiancee, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, soon to be Mrs. Lindsay Puerto Rican, the Women's Champion of the entire WORLD! And of course yours truly, Tha Puerto Rican, The Corporate Champion, the new X-Division Champion after beating The Dance Dance Dragon's Dance Dancing Candy Ass all over Skydome, Tor-on-TO! It was a glorious night Josh Matthews. It was a LONG, glorious night. PRL and Lindsay giggle, the innuendo apparantly flying right over Josh Matthews' well-groomed head. PRL And last week I gave my men time off to continue the celebrations. I hear the OAOAST had a little 5th Anniversary celebration. Well, The Lightning Crew had their own 5th Anniversary Party, to celebrate OUR contributions to the OAOAST. Because let's face it, the OAOAST in the past five years would have been nothing... and I mean NOTHING without The Lightning Crew, now would it Josh? MATTHEWS It would have been... different. PRL Exactly! And what a way to start the next five years of the OAOAST, with The Lightning Crew holding all the go... Scowling, Tha Puerto Rican suddenly begins to trail off as he glares off into the distance. Lindsay folds her arms and it's clear there's an unwelcome guest intruding on their interview, all eyes turning to DANCE DANCE DRAGON as he walks into shot. After the anger at being interrupted subsides, PRL just laughs derisively at The Masked Dance Assassin as he stands and stares at him. PRL Well, if it isn't the Dance Dance Dumbass! HAHAHA! That's a good one, I oughta write that down. Anyway, what's the matter Dragon, didn't you get enough of a beating at AngleMania? Dragon does the 'Running Man' to display the fact he's in good condition. PRL That's real cute. You know, with moves like that, it's no wonder you hide your face behind that stupid mask. So, what? If you've got something to say to Tha Puerto Rican then spit it out but if not, get out of my sight... Dragon points to PRL's X-Division Champion, causing PRL to scoff at him. PRL Oh, I see. I see what this is. You wanna go ONE... on ONE... with Tha Puerto Rican, one more time? HA! Listen, just because Hack Malibu's getting a second chance after his failure at AngleMania doesn't mean it's open season on rematches around here buddy! You don't deserve a shot at this X-Division Title. You're an embarrassment. Look at you. Look at yourself. You're nothing! A nobody with a dumb mask and a ridiculous name. It was a complete fluke that you got to that X-Division Tournament Final at all. Infact, it was a joke. A joke that you of all people faced Tha Puerto Rican on the grandest stage of them all! Well, the joke is over. Tha Puerto Rican dealt with you with short shrift at AngleMania and now he is the X-Division Champion... Suddenly, Lindsay whispers something into PRL's ear. A smile forms on PRL's face and he nods in agreement as he turns back to Dragon. PRL I'll tell ya what Dragon, I'm a generous man. So if you want another beating from Tha Puerto Rican, who am I to say no? You'll get your chance tonight. But it WON'T be for my X-Division Championship! You go into that OAOAST locker room and you find yourself a partner. You find anyone blind, dumb, deaf or desperate enough to team with you tonight and you meet me and my Lightning Crew partner in that ring and we'll have ourselves a Tag Team Match later on. How's about that? You think you can find anyone? After throwing out a few Michael Jackson inspired steps, Dragon comes out of it telling PRL to 'talk to the hand', causing Tha Puerto Rican's eyes to bug out a little. Dragon then shuffles off as PRL and Lindsay look at each other in confusion. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and one of his Lightning Crew members to take on Dance Dance Dragon and a partner of his choosing, later on tonight here on OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

...and the promo, which needn't be straight at the top of the show, but should be before my HI-YAH match which I'm going to need extra time to finish. So, if whoever's posting can leave a space after this, I'll edit my match in tommorrow. "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd greet Theodore Moneymaker with the typical response as "Money Talks" by AC/DC hits. This week it's a slightly slimmed down version of The Enterprise walking out into the wave of boos. Theodore Moneymaker walks out laughing away to himself, with newest recruit Jade Rodez on his arm. Jade looks out into the crowd with a scowl, again dressed down as opposed to her old look. Accompanying the duo is Christopher Patrick Allen, Moneymaker's one-man security force, marching behind as Moneymaker leads Jade up the ring steps and into the ring itself. COLE Well, Theodore Moneymaker gracing us with his 'presence' again here tonight on HeldDOWN~! And Jade Rodez by his side... I still can't get over seeing her with Moneymaker, looking like that, acting the way she is. It's like the life's been drained out of her. COACH What? This isn't a zombie movie Mikey. Her life is just beginning, she's one of the upper-crust elite now. That's how the well-to-do dress and nobody argues with them, because they've earnt the right to be above reproach by virtue of their wealth. COLE That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard you say in the past five minutes. Moneymaker now has the mic and sure enough, the crowd in Portland seem intent to drown out The Billion Dollar Heir with boos. Smirking away, Teddy waits for them to predictably wane, before beginning. MONEYMAKER Now, I'm sure all you nickel n' dimers are wondering where the rest of my Enterprise are right now. Christian, Ned and Simon are currently hard in training at the finest facility money can buy in Vero Beach, California, preparing for next week, when finally championship gold will come to The Enterprise. Because next week, they will be challenging for and winning the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Championships! So tonight, it's just myself, the man who last week announced himself to the OAOAST world with his crushing victory CPA and of course, Miss Jade Rodez. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Unmoved by the boos it would seem, Jade glares forward, a sparkle shooting off the new diamond-encrusted bracelet around his right wrist from underneath her tracksuit top. MONEYMAKER You see, we are here for one reason. To conduct business. Somewhere in the back, D*LUX are cooped in their little locker room, biting their fingernails over how they're ever gonna cope without their manager to guide them, like the weak, pathetic peons that they are! See, they've got a BIG match tonight. They're gonna be defending their HI-YAH Tag Team Titles, against the fine combination of Lucius Soul and Rico de Janeiro, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. And for that, they can thank one person. And that is Jade Rodez. "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" MONEYMAKER You peasants chant all you want! Because every time you chant for those pathetic little boybanders, every time you go out and you buy their merchandise and you pay to see them wrestle, you're putting more and more money into The Billion Dollar Heir's pockets! Tyler, Shayne... wonder why you're suddenly in this match, defending your titles, against a team that haven't even competed in Japan before? It's pretty simple. You may be contracted to the OAOAST, you may have a contract with HI-YAH now you're the Champs, but your contracts are owned by the young lady standing next to me, remember! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MONEYMAKER What was it Jade? 60% of all of the team's profits? HAHAHA! Say what you want about that urchin Krista Isadora Duncan, she knows exploitation when she sees it! And hey, let's not forget about the fact you're the one who signs off on all their matches! How convenient, tha... .:CUE: Trust Company, "Rock The Casbah":. All eyes suddenly turn to the entrance way, as the sliding doors part at the hands of LEON RODEZ! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Oh boy! Baton down the hatches, cause here comes big brother! Moneymaker quickly palms Jade back towards CPA, Jade being shielded by the big bodyguard as Leon marches down the aisle, right past the outstretched arms of the fans. He's not dressed to wrestle and he's not here to play to the fans. Leon is here for answers as he climbs the steps and enters the ring. It's only once he gets through the ropes that he slows down, unsure of whether to run straight through Moneymaker or whether to back off, clearly conflicted about how to react to seeing his sister behind The Billion Dollar Heir. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The music dies down and the chants take over. Moneymaker doesn't back down, although he does back up a couple of steps, safe in the knowledge that Leon won't make any sharp moves now that he's got Jade close to him. Quickly he throws the microphone over to the Silky Smooth One and demands one of his own, as Leon ignores the mic at his feet, staring with disappointment at his little sister. COLE Well, we knew Leon was here tonight. And hopefully he's going to sort this issue out here. COACH I hope he brought his cheque book with him then. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" MONEYMAKER Well well, isn't this a pleasant surprise? I must warn you little man, this may be a wrestling ring but this is no wrestling match. You lay one finger on me and you'll be hearing from the most expensive lawyers in the known world! Leon bends down to pick up the microphone, while Jade peeks out from behind CPA's back. LEON I don't know what the hell is going on here... but I suggest you step aside and let me talk to my sister. MONEYMAKER Anything you wanna say, you can say right now. LEON Listen, I don't know what this is all about, but you're long past the line already withou... Leon stops in mid-sentence, upon seeing Jade appearing from behind CPA. She takes the microphone from Moneymaker and insists it's okay, as she turns to her big brother. Leon simply shakes his head as Jade stares at him, lip curling. JADE You wanna know what this is all about, 'brother'. Well, I wanna know why you care all of a sudden. LEON What's that supposed to mean? You're my sister... JADE Oh, so you finally realised that, huh? Because it never felt like it! Let's face it Le', you always cared about one person and that was yourself. So don't come playing the moral highground with me, because you've NEVER been there for me the rest of my life, there's no reason for you to start now! I was barely a teenager when you disappeared to 'live your dream' as a professional wrestler. You left me and mom to fend for ourselves. I barely knew who you were! The crowd seem noticeably uncomfortable being the audience for this public family feud and grow silent. JADE And now you have the nerve to come out here and try and 'rescue me', is that what this is all about? LEON It's about you making a big mistake, associating yourself with scumbags like that guy (points at Moneymaker). JADE No! The mistake I made was associating myself with people like Alix and Krista and Melody, YOUR kind of people! I didn't lower myself to their standards, I was at their level because I never knew any better! I never had the chance to be any better!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" JADE I've got dreams of my own ya know. I've got aspirations. I'm good at what I do, damnit! I deserve a good life and that's what I'm getting. Hanging around with meterosexual American Idol wannabees was only going to get me so far. You know, I looked at myself and I didn't like what I saw. My future was trawling bars with the likes of Krista and Alix until Teddy came along and made me an offer. See, The Enterprise is where I want to be. Teddy is willing to invest his time and his money into helping me achieve something with my life, as opposed to wasting my life with classless, desperate wannabees like you and Krista! People who don't respect me. People who make me not respect myself! Let's face it, I was never going make much of myself, considering my big brother was a pornstar now, was I!? Leon hangs his head, running a hand through his hair. JADE Do you even know what it was like for me? Do you know what it was like to be a 15 year old kid, knowing my big brother was whoring himself out a screwing crackwhores for a living!? I came to the OAOAST to get to know you, to know my own brother. Now, I wish I hadn't bothered. "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" This talking down is having it's effect on Leon, as he forlornly looks at his little sister. LEON You know what, maybe you're right. This... this greed. This venom you're spitting out. If you're my sister, then maybe I don't know you. The sister I remember was sweet, innocent, a GOOD person. JADE I've changed since then. Being with people like Krista opens your eyes to what the world is really like and it gave me a long overdue wake-up call. LEON You're just buying into the garbage that Moneymaker's feeding you. You always were naive, bu... JADE SHUT UP! I'm sick of being treated like a kid all the damn time! Teddy respects me and treats me for who I am! Not who he wants me to be, like you. I've grown up. I guess you can't see that, what with being more concerned with yourself... (turns to Moneymaker, who nods) ... well, let's see if you can see this... [i]*SLAP~!*[/i] "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Oh my... A stunned silence washes over the crowd as Leon falls to one knee, clutching his cheek. Jade stands over him still breathing heavily from the anger that caused her to slap her own brother, nursing her hand a little from the ferocity with which she delivered the strike. In the background, Moneymaker is postively in HYSTERICS, laughing his head off as Jade takes one last bitter look down at her big brother before walking across the ring and exiting. Quickly Moneymaker and CPA decide to make a quick exit too, while Leon continues to hang sadly on one knee in the centre of the ring. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wow. COACH Man oh MAN, what a shot that was! COLE I don't believe what we've just seen here. I can't believe that Jade Rodez just slapped her own brother. Jade walks backwards up the aisle looking back into the ring, Moneymaker still laughing at the top of his lungs, Catching up to Jade, The Billion Dollar Heir can be seen thanking her for "the best laugh I've had all year" as he takes a couple of hundred dollar bills, tucking them into her pocket before pointing into the ring at Leon. Now stood up Leon still nurses his cheek, looking close to tears as Moneymaker lets out another roaring laugh at his expense. COLE As if things weren't emotional enough after Moneymaker's recruitment of Jade Rodez... man alive, this has just become personal. Theodore Moneymaker has torn the Rodez family apart. And... you know what, I don't think I want to dwell on this much longer. Can we go somewhere else? This is... *sighs* We get a last shot of Leon slowly and sadly exiting the ring, looking shell-shocked at what just happened, before we thankfully go to a commercial break.

Okay, the cold opening... [b]EARLIER TODAY[/b] It's a mean and moody cold opening to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! this week as we fade in with a shot of the parking lot of the Rose Garden Arena. The camera pans the seemingly deserted lot to find Leon Rodez entering the arena. Leon hauls his bag over his shoulder as he marches the arena and finds himself confronted by a microphone weilding Josh Matthews. MATTHEWS Leon! Leon, can we get a few wor... But much to Josh's surprise, the usually warm and friendly Rodez completely blanks him and marches right past him, head down, scowling. Josh stand and watches Leon walking off for a second, before signalling for the camera to cut.

Man, I don't know how I haven't heard about this company before now. Especially with the names they've got on the shows, a lot of guys I'm a big fan of. I like to think I pay attention. I'm so getting that DVD for Joe vs. Kingston alone.

I've only watched ECW twice and even I might make an effort to tape it next week. So, were that the case, it worked on one person at least.

"Your name is... Hugh Morrus? What? Is that supposed to be humourous? What?" That was fantastic, but it provided one of the biggest missed opportunities of the whole Invasion angle, running Stone Cold vs. Tazz. I guess by then they'd already decided on the ending and turning Austin back to a face, but I believe they could have made Tazz into a star if they'd matched him up to Austin. The fans were begging for it.

True or not, the crowd died when Shane was on offense. That happens whenever Lashley is selling, or at least selling for someone the fans don't take seriously as a threat to Lashley. To be fair, the crowd seemed to die the moment the bell rang virtually every match. One of those 'pop for the entrances' crowds. Hopefully once they get to Europe the next few weeks the crowds will be a lot more responsive.

From the March 25th Newswire... Maybe doesn't deserve it's own thread. But as about the biggest (perhaps only?) CHIKARA mark on the board and therefore a giant Quackenbush mark, I reserve the right to lose my mind about it a month or so early. Personally, I think it's about time and I'm glad he's getting a chance to perform on the biggest stage on the indy scene, even if it's just a 2 shot. Thoroughly deserved. If they book him against Claudio either night, you've got a potential show-stealer.

I don't suppose anyone has anything worthwhile under or about 20MB for someone on stone-age dialup like myself?

Man, I predicted that finish but I didn't think it'd be executed that badly. The match itself was actually really good, everything up until the inexplicable decision that Michaels was pinned without actually being pinned. And there was no way for Orton to so much as put his arm over Michaels after he landed without it looking goofy (you can't lay blame on Orton's shoulders, once he took SCM he couldn't really sneakily lay an arm over Shawn without no-selling the move). But, Michaels' reactions to Cena's cornball "ripping off Lex Luger's muscle poses for no real reason wasn't enough, now I'm gonna use Rick Steiner's catchphrase" routine were fantastic. Made up for that finish. Almost. Actually, aside from the finishes of the two marquee matches, it was a pretty good RAW. Cade and Murdoch vs. Hardyz at Backlash actually interests me, even if it was the Battle Royla finish last week.

Yeah, they did the angle where Shane and Vince both tried to sign him when he returned and he Rock Bottomed both before choosing WWF. In hindsight, 2001 wasn't that bad of a year. It wasn't all it could have been, sure, but I don't think it was the disaster that people like to claim it was. They pushed Jericho to the main event, pushed Edge, pushed Christian, legitimised Angle as an actual main-eventer (which his 2000 run never did), pushed Test, re-energised The Dudleys, got RVD and Booker into prominent positions on the card. That's a better record than any time recently. The real problem with the Invasion angle was that the 'rosters' were lopsided. The WWF had the credible main eventers but the WWF midcard was full of comedy acts. I remember watching Survivor Series and being amused that here was Team WWF, represented by the likes of Funaki, Crash Holly, Saturn etc.

Okay, there's a few, but as far as specific requests go... Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (All American Boys) Linda McMahon (WrestleMania) Jeff Jarrett (Tennesse Jam) - Attitude Era theme, also used by Debra Men on a Mission (with lyrics) Val Venis (Hello Ladies v3) ...would all be greatly appreciated.

Bradshaw didn't become a 'main eventer' until 2002, against the nWo. 2001 and the Invasion, it made sense for The APA to be in the role they were in, because they were the face team built as the most credible ass-kickers outside of the Brothers Of Destruction, who were needed higher up the card. They were never really pushed to main event status during the Invasion.

Probably just the way he's grimacing. Looks like Lashley and Lashley alone to me.

I know there's a few on that list I'd appreciate. Would I be okay to request them here? And much thanks for the themes Chui. Been looking for Spanky's for ages and I love the Bashams old music. Plus, an excuse to see the crazy Flair avatar!

Well, Edge running in wouldn't explain why he gets to be in the match (logically they'd just have a rematch with him banned from ringside) but more importantly, they did almost the exact same booking with Flair and Carlito not a month ago. How long has it been since the 'double pin off a back superplex' spot. That was HHH vs. Angle, right? 1999... well, it's past it's 7 year cycle, maybe they'll go with that and have Edge weasel his way in somehow.

"You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Oh boy! COLE Well, this should be most interesting. AC/DC's "Money Talks" brings the crowd to their feet, eager to show off their fancy signs and banners (why do people always use bright green and bright pink!?), most of which reading along the lines of 'Why Jade, Why'. And with a little patience they may just find out, as The Enterprise pile out through the entrance doors en mass, including their newest acquisition. Jade looks distinctly different from when we last saw her, sporting a new hair colour and clad in a less than glamorous tracksuit she walks in between Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright at the front of the group. The Beverly Hills Blonds in their pastel blue suits and Mackenzie DeCenzo follow after them. And at the back of the group, the bigman, Christopher Patrick Allen marches with his head held high. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... THE ENTERPRISE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, technically The Enterprise had a less than impressive night last week at AngleMania, coming out 0 for 3. But as Theodore Moneymaker will claim to anyone willing to listen, The Enterprise came away with a psychological victory after their 'recruitment' of Jade Rodez. And hopefully we're going to get an explanation here tonigh as to why Jade has basically turned her back on everyone and everything she held close to her, to join up with Moneymaker and co. COACH What explanation do you need? It's all about the benjamins Cole, THAT'S the only explanation you need! The Enterprise converge on the ring and assemble in front of the booing crowd, the ring looking pretty full with the now seven Enterprise members. Dismissing Michael Buffer, Theodore Moneymaker takes the microphone and signals for the music to be cut, the booing that replaces it not bothering him in the slightest. Just the opposite infact. MONEYMAKER :D "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH They certainly don't look like losers, huh Mikey? MONEYMAKER Like music to my ears! Isn't it ironic, that rather than laugh The Enterprise out of the arena tonight, you impoverished Canadians are on your feet showing your jealousy just like all the other nine-to-fivers around the world? Isn't it ironic? I'm sure six days ago, you were all laughing away to yourselves at my expense. Chicks Over Dicks are still the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. D*LUX are still the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. The Enterprise didn't win the gold at AngleMania. And yet, you people can't rub our faces in our own mess, because you realise that I possess more gold in my stately Money Manor than Fort Knocks itself! "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" The crowd rise to chant the initials of the still Tag Team Champions. But even that can't campen The Enterprise's spirits. MONEYMAKER Then, you thought you could laugh at our expenses again, when my Directory Of Security Christopher Patrick Allen was eliminated from the Battle Royal. And yet, again, you people can't rub our faces in that either, because you realise that The Billion Dollar Heir has more Money In The Bank than even my close personal friend Donald Trump has! MUWAHAHAHAHA!! "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" "C - O - D!" MONEYMAKER You see, you people can chant 'COD' all you want. But the fact is, COD aren't here and The Enterprise are. Why? Because right now, they're ASHAMED! They are ashamed, shame that cannot be consoled even with those OAOAST Tag Team Titles. They thought they could rub mine and Christian's faces into our defeat at AngleMania. And yet, it is they that are too ashamed to show their faces tonight! There will be no 30 minute monologues from those two gutter dwellers here in Vancouver. Because one way or another last night, they learnt one very valuable lesson, just like each and every single one of you nickel n' dimers did... MONEY TALKS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Sounds like these people don't agree. COACH Well, they have to pay for things in Canadian dollars, what do they really know about money? MONEYMAKER Money Talks and BS Walks! I know that! Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton know that. Mackenzie DeCenzo knows that. They live the lifestyle they were born to lead, thanks to my wealth! Christian Wright knows that. His career has never been more promising than it has since joining up with The Enterprise! CPA knows that. His life has taken an upturn from the days of dealing with the great un-washed outside grotty nightclubs. Now, he frequents the VIP sections instead of just watching the door. And now, Jade Rodez knows what we all know! A warm round of applause sparks up from The Blonds and Mackenzie. Jade just continues to look ahead at nothing or no-one in particular, sullen. "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" MONEYMAKER Jade Rodez realised that Money Talks! And the sooner each and every one of those never-were, never-will-be also-rans in that OAOAST locker room realise that, the better it will be for them. We sent a message to the world on Sunday night, that Money Talks, no matter WHO you are! No matter how 'honourable' you misguided, deluded blood-sucking fans believe your favourite 'superstar' is... no matter how much you cheer for them like the lemmings that you are... sooner or later, Money Talks for EVERYBODY! And tonight... Moneymaker ducks into the crowd of associated and leads CPA into the front. MONEYMAKER Tonight, you're all gonna get another lesson in the power of the almighty Billion Dollars! MUWHAHAHAHAHA! Bring out the jaybrone who thinks they can beat my man! Moneymaker drops the microphone and as the rest of The Enterprise begin to leave the ring... "You say its urgent Make it fast, make it urgent Do it quick, do it urgent Gotta rush, make it urgent" ..."Urgent" by Foreigner hits, bringing out the team from The OAOAST First Responders Unit, Rescue 911! EMT Tim marches behind Officer Bosley, who is the one dressed and ready to compete tonight. But both 911ers dish out the handslaps to the fans regardless. COLE Well, ahead of this match we caught up with Officer Bosley for some comments, let's hear what he had to say... [COLOR=orange][i]OAOAST[/i][/COLOR] A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. There, Officer Bosley and EMT Tim stand in front of a grey OAOAST backdrop. OFFICER BOSLEY You know, myself and my partner EMT Tim Cash here have dealt with Mr. Moneymaker's greed and gluttony before. But even we were stunned at the actions of The Enterprise last Sunday night at AngleMania. Myself and Tim live by 3 basic principles: Serve the public's trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law. Well, Theodore Moneymaker, you have continued to refuse to live by the standards and the practises that we uphold. You have broken the public's trust in what is fair and good. You have floughted the law. And where-as we look to protect the innocent, you exploit them. Well tonight Mr. Moneymaker, you and your cohorts are going to learn that crime doesn't pay! EMT TIM And to all you kids out there watching: remember, be good to your families. [COLOR=orange][i]HELDDOWN~![/COLOR][/i] Back to live action and Officer Bosley has stripped of his entrance attire and is ready to go. On the apron, Moneymaker whispers some last minute instructions in his Director Of Security's ear and pats him on the shoulder before joining the rest of his Enterprise on the floor. COACH Man alive, what a cornball this Bosley is! COLE He's an upstanding citizen, which is more than I can say for the six people gathered around the corner in front of us... well, five. I don't know what to make of Jade's involvement. Hell, that speech from Moneymaker didn't explain anything! COACH Sure it did. Money Talks. Do I have to draw you a diagram or something? *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds at referee Brian Hebner's call and CPA stalks towards Officer Bosley straight away. Bosley circles, trying to keep out of reach of the ex-bouncer. But he soon finds himself cornered and his eyes dart around looking for an escape, trying to dodge out left. Allen catches him though, barging him back into the corner, so Bosley tries to sneak out left. Same result, CPA simply manhandling the 265 pounder and rearing back ready to deliver a right hand. Which allows Bosley a window of escape, crawling out through CPA's legs and catching him as he turns around with a right of his own! Another! Three, four, five, Officer Bosley dishing out his own brand of justice tonight! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The crowd need little encouragement to get behind Bosley, especially with the rest of The Enterprise within earshot. Moneymaker looks a little anxious as Bosley whips CPA across the ring into the opposite corner. Turning on his heels, Bosley then follows in... but CPA gets his boot up! And as the Officer staggers backwards, CPA explodes out of the corner with a thundering clothesline!! MONEYMAKER :D "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE No finesse from Christopher Patrick Allen there. COACH He's not hired for finesse. He's hired to kick some ass and that's exactly what he does, else he wouldn't be on Theodore Moneymaker's payroll! CPA drags Bosley up by the hair and just HEADBUTTS him right in the side of the head! Into the corner falls Bosley, leant up against the middle turnbuckle, Moneymaker marching around ringside and putting the badmouth on the Officer! EMT Tim sees this and thinks about doing something about it, but he's woefully out-numbered and thinks better of it. COLE Intimidation tactics here from The Enterprise. I really don't see why any of these outside parties should even be at ringside, but I guess the referee feels it best to just get on with things. Again dragged up by the hair, Bosley is simply scooped and slammed in the centre of the ring by Christopher Patrick Allen. Now it's Ned leaning through the ropes and adding his own commentary to proceedings, as CPA backs off the ropes and drops a big elbow across the chest, leaning into a cover... 1... 2... No! "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" On the outside EMT Tim starts up the chant in hopes of encouraging his partner, the Vancouver crowd jumping all over the chant the moment The Enterprise try and stop it. Meanwhile CPA whips Bosley off the ropes, lazily throwing his arm out with a clothesline. He doesn't reckon on Bosley's speed though as he ducks underneath and shoots back off the ropes, soaring through the air with a Diving Clothesline that knocks the bigman off his feet! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE There we go, a little bit of encouragement from Bosley! Climbing back to his feet, Bosley waits on CPA, encouraging him to get back to his feet. Around turns CPA, right into a dropkick from the Officer! A second dropkick puts CPA down as soon as he reaches his feet! And a third time CPA gets dropped, Bosley pumping his fist as the adrenaline begins to flow! Moneymaker pounds the apron, yelling at CPA to get it together as he turns into Bosley, aiming high with a Roundhouse Kick... BLOCKED! Allen catches the leg over his shoulder and hauls Bosley up onto his shoulders for a Powerbomb... ...but Bosley leans back and COUNTERS with a Hurricanrana, reaching back for the legs... 1... 2... NO!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bosley looks suprised but doesn't question his fellow dictator of the law Brian Hebner. He again encourages CPA to his feet, brushing past him on his way to the ropes as he springboards to the middle rope and soars backwards for the elbow... ...CAUGHT... ...and DUMPED right on the back of his head, as CPA counters the elbow with a big back suplex!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAN! What a suplex from the bigman! He folded Bosley up on that one! The Enterprise (apart from Jade) all applaud that one, as Bosley uncoils and lies motionless on the canvas. CPA shows little emotion though as he lifts Bosley right back up and dumps him into the ropes. This time on the rebound there's no signs of evasion from Bosley, as he gets scooped up into CPA's arms and drilled with a big-time Powerslam, dead centre in the middle of the ring! "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" "TED - DY SUCKS!" The Vancouver crowd get on Moneymaker's back for his celebrations over the move, CPA seemingly toying with the Officer now as he neglects to make a pin. COACH We didn't see much of it at AngleMania, but now we're seeing what CPA has to offer. Two big moves have totally turned the tide of this match. COLE Yes, Officer Bosley may be a tag team wrestler but he's still a 6'5, 265 pound opponent, that CPA looks about to put the finishing touches on. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Peeling Bosley up off the canvas, CPA grabs him in a gutwrench. On the outside Moneymaker nods his head and Simon gives the signal that it's OVAH~! as CPA then deadlifts Bosley up onto his shoulder, carrying him around for just a couple of seconds before dropping to his knees and pancaking Bosley down to the canvas with the Dominator!! COACH DAMN! From there, it's academic, The Enterprise counting along... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* COACH Impressive! Marching up the ring steps, applause rains down on CPA from Moneymaker as he enters the ring. CPA stands over Bosley, looking down at the Officer, as he earns pats on the back all around. BUFFER Your winner of the match... Christopher Patrick Allen, C... P... A!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bosley is rolled out of the ring and tended to by EMT Tim, who certainly chose the right profession in his partner's eyes right now, as The Enterprise continue to lord it up in the ring. Demanding the microphone, Moneymaker grins from ear to ear as the music fades again. MONEYMAKER Just another example... Money Talks, B.S Walks!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! "Money Talks" hits again to the roaring jeers of the crowd. The Enterprise congratulate each other on a job well done, odd considering CPA did all the work, high-fiving and back-slapping all round before the group begin to make their way back to what will no doubt be a lavish celebration party. Jade is helped lady-like from the apron as is Mackenzie, Moneymaker pointing up to where EMT Tim is helping Bosley to the back and starting up one last laugh from the group. COLE The Enterprise at their pompous best here tonight here on our 5th Anniversary. And we are still no closer to knowing just why Jade Rodez turned her back and joined the ranks, no explanation. Jade strangely quiet here tonight. COACH The work you're looking for is dignified. COLE Oh please! I still want to know how she justifies herself, alligning herself with Theodore Moneymaker. Alligning herself with The Beverly Hills Blonds and Mackenzie DeCenzo, after all they've done to her in the past and the total humiliation they subjected her to when she was forced to be Ned's slave for 90 days! Why? That's what I want to know! And don't give me that 'Money Talks' nonsense, no amount of money could be enough to justify her actions! COACH Not even billions of dollars? COLE Well, I'd like to think not. COACH Then you're as deluded as these people that Teddy's trying to teach his lesson to. Money makes the world go around! Jade just realised that, that's all. COLE Well, in that case she's not the level-headed young girl we all thought she was. More to come here on HeldDOWN~!...