King Cucaracha

The only finish I can see for MITB besides Kennedy is a deal with Orton and Edge pulling it down at the same time, setting up a singles match at Backlash for the MITB contract. But that would virtually kill the show.

OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents... #~~THE LOVE SHACK~~# Sat at his old desk for the first time in... yikes, it's been a while, ain't it! Anyway, back at his old desk in the most remote of locations in the backstage area of Skydome, a mere 20 something hours before the biggest event in OAOAST history™, sits Leon Rodez. Casually dressed in a pair of dark grey slacks and a retro Thrillogy t-shirt Leon furrows his brow as he tries to set up a wireless connection to the internet on his PSP. You can never find an access point when you need one, trust me. Eventually he gives up, just now noticing the camera fixed on him and entering 'showbiz mode'. RODEZ HEY everybody! Ten months on and the shack finally returns! Has it really been that long? Man alive, let's hope I've still got the magic. Yes, I am your host here on The Love Shack, Leon Rodez. There is nothing special about me, I am just a little star. A little star in a gigantic stratosphere known the world over as AngleMania VI, set to eminate from right here in Skydome, Toronto, Ontario Cana... Trailing off, Leon notices the big street sign looming over him. And it doesn't read Toronto. RODEZ ...oh, that's right. I'm in Grand Rapids, aren't I? Sorry, I haven't done this for a while. Well, if The Heavenly Rockers can have a Sin City Street Fight in Toronto, I can sure as hell do a Grand Rapids Love Shack. Anyway, regardless of where I may or may not be right now, AngleMania VI is on the horizon and man, what a card I've been told by OAOAST officials to tell you that it will be!! We've got titles on the line, tournament finals, grudge matches, battle royals, returning legends, returning me, Christopher Daniels... wait, Christopher Daniels!? (checks notes) That must be a typo surely... (re-checks notes) ...looks geniune enough. Hey, I guess if D-Lo Brown and Bradshaw can win our Tag Titles, why not have Christopher Daniels reffing? Leon shrugs his shoulders, as if to say 'hey, I didn't book it'. RODEZ Now, of course, it's a big night for everybody in the OAOAST. Well, everybody who got booked, at least. And it's a very special night for me in particular. I think it's been documented well enough what I've gone through to get to this point, where finally I'm ready lace those boots back up and step back into a wrestling ring for the first time in what's now approaching five months. And it's been well documented what it'll mean to me to get back just in time for AngleMania. Todd Cortez, you're a man of few words. You're happy to let the Landon Maddixes and the Bruce Blanks do your talking for you, while you concentrate on business. But the few words that you have said since Syndicated were enough to last five months for me. What was it that you said, that first HeldDOWN~! after, while I was still laid up in a hospital bed not knowing how much damage you'd really done to my neck and how permanent it would be? I think it was something alone the lines of 'with every action, there is a reaction'. Then come AngleMania, you're in for one HELL of a reaction buddy! Zack already reacted in my absence and I'm sure he would have wanted nothing other than for you to suffer a similar fate. He's an emotional guy. I'm glad you've been through that already. Because for me, there's nothing that'd please me more than to simply beat you in front of tens of thousands of fans in Skydome, 1, 2, 3. Pain is temporary. Trust me, I know. But the legacy of me gaining my revenge with a fair, just victory is going to last a lifetime in the record books. And at least the rest of yours. Suddenly Leon perks up after that serious monologue. RODEZ But it wouldn't be The Love Shack if I didn't have guests to lay down the hype with me! And I'm glad to say, I've got two of those very guests with me here for this special pre-AngleMania Shack. Two participants in the sixteen man Money In The Bank Battle Royal and two names synonymous with the OAOAST, Dan Black and Tony Brannigan, the incomparable BLACK T everyone!! Hail, the return of the canned applause! Black T emerge to whoops and cheers from what sounds like a full Skydome crowd, prompting Leon to signal off camera for the OAOAST ring crew lackey he collared earlier to turn down the sound system a touch. A little bemused by all this, Black and Brannigan park themselves down on the leather seats provided. RODEZ Tony, Dan, welcome to The Shack, pleasure to have OAOAST royalty like yourselves on the show! Dan and Tony don't respond. RODEZ So, big night tommorrow night at AngleMania. Tony, your fifth straight AngleMania appearance. No idea what happened to you around Mania III Dan, you certainly should have been defending your prestigious Adrenaline Title... whatever that was. You're both entered in the 16 Man Money In The Bank Battle Royal, with the winner getting one of those contracts that's all the rage all of a sudden giving you one guaranteed World Title shot whenever your heart desires. What's the plan guys, fill us in. BLACK Throw everyone else over the top. ..... RODEZ Yeah... that might work. Okay. Well, just feel free to say something if I interrupt you at all. Obviously, only one of your can win the Money In The Bank contract, what I should really have asked is if you we can expect to see Dan Black and Tony Brannigan doing battle on the biggest stage of them all? Or is there a contingency plan if you two wind up the final two in the match? BRANNIGAN That's for us to know and for everybody else to find out, little man. RODEZ Okay, it's just that, the past few months, there's been a little bit of... tension between you two. BLACK Now tha... BRANNIGAN Yeah, there's been a little tension. Looking a little surprised at this admission from his partner, Black shifts in his seat towards T-Bod. BRANNIGAN You know, ever since I lost that OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship to Axel, I've been chasing and chasing. I've chased after that title for damn near two years now, to no avail. Dan's been chasing after that World Title all his career, again, to no avail. Everybody knows me and Dan, we're the best tag team in OAOAST history. We are OAOAST royalty, it's no fancy introduction piece! The tension isn't between me and Dan, it's tension because we're sick and damn tired of being also-rans! Which is why we sat down over the past week and we talked things through. Black T have come a long way together. We've rode all the roads, fought all the big names, put our names down in the history books. And we've come to a crossroads in our career. Which is why we came to a decision. BLACK That's right. Black T, the greatest tag team in this company's history and we will be remembered as that. Over all the others. The Global Party Exchanges, the Miracle Weirdness Connections, the New New Midnights Blonds or whatever the hell they're calling themselves these days. We were the best! And we don't wanna be anything other. RODEZ So, what are you guys saying exactly? BRANNIGAN What we're saying kid is that tommorrow night, it's do or die for Black T. We could chase and chase the glory days until we're on the verge of breaking down in the middle of that ring and all people would remember is the legacy. So, we're having one more crack. One last shot. If neither of us wins Money In The Bank, that's it. Understandably Leon seems a little surprised (and secretly out of his mind in delight at getting this massive scoop) and lets that announcement sink in. RODEZ When you say that's it, you mean that's it period? Because, that's a mighty big promise guys. BRANNIGAN It's one we're gonna keep. No 'loser leaves town', no 90 day stipulations like the Street Fight. Me and Dan have got jobs waiting for us, don't get me wrong. We've got offers of jobs behind the scenes up to our eyeballs and to be honest, if me or Dan can't win Money In The Bank, we'll be ready for them. A couple of weeks ago on HeldDOWN~! we came out and we were left standing in the middle of that ring. Black T were on top. But we've been on top before but come up short when it matters and we've said no more. We don't win and we'll pull ourselves off the active roster and we'll set about devoting ourselves to the OAOAST from the inside, just like we've done on the outside for years. And Black T will go out with dignity. BLACK But lets get one thing straight Rodez, we haven't come to Toronto to put on our pipe and slippers. We've come to win. It's a neccessary evil and we won't hesitate to do it if we come up short, because we will know that it's for the best. But you know as well as we do that when this business is in your blood, you bleed it for life. The thought of hanging up our boots is going to be running through our minds every time somebody hooks us up over those ropes. It'll be punching through our conscience every time we're down on that canvas getting stomped damn near through the America/Canada border. We've come to win Money In The Bank. Whether it's me or Tony. And if the other fourteen guys in Money In The Bank are sitting and watching this now, thinking 'oh well, that's two down', they're in for the shock of their lives tommorrow night. BRANNIGAN One way or another, it's gonna be Black T's defining hour. It's do or die and we don't die easy! With that, Black T collectively up and leave, as Leon sits with raised eyebrows. Realising he's still on camera, he waves Black T off and gives a thumbs up as if their exit was all a part of his plans, before clearing his throat. RODEZ Well, that was the Love Shack I guess... Leon Rodez... uhm, buy AngleMania! See ya!

Is there any chance of a Monday deadline on this? I'm doing okay so far but I've got family over and I'm going to be pre-occupied virtually all Sunday, so the chances of me getting everything done on time is slim. Otherwise, I guess I could just edit my matches in a little late, but I figure at least someone else will end up needing an extension with it being such a big show.

Pontiac Region 12, 2 Atlantic City Region 1, 3 Toronto Region 1, 2 New York City Region 1, 6 Houston Region 1, 7 Seattle Region 1, 6 Chicago Region 1, 6 Anaheim Region 5, 2

Does anybody honestly believe Punk is winning the Money In The Bank? Honestly, no rose-tinted glasses? Maybe it's just me, but I don't see it. 1: Punk's still relatively new to the WWE audience. He's had two real superstar reactions, one in Philly and one in Chicago, that I can remember. Other than that, the position he's currently in is about right. Pushing anyone straight to the main event after less than a year on TV is never a good idea. 2: Punk has a storyline ready to go that doesn't need a title, with his involvement with The New Breed and The Originals. Kennedy is clearly the guy who needs to win MITB, Punk is like Edge and Orton where he's got something lined up already so doesn't need it. 3: If he wins MITB, he'll be pursuing the ECW Title. Talk about a letdown to the average fan; you win the showpiece match of WrestleMania and actively pursue the easiest title to get a shot at in the entire company (and the least prestigious of the World Titles.) Punk doesn't need it and wouldn't benefit all that much in the long run. Too much, too soon. It's got to be Kennedy, surely?

So, who actually didn't show? Because it seemed like the show was pretty darn good when I read it (before reading this), Iron Man being missing aside. And as the one who suggested moving to one show a week - yeah, if you can't write at least a 2k match in a week, you really should just give up now and stop wasting people's time pretending like you give a shit when clearly you don't. You all know who you are.

Man, I'm gonna have to get this on DVD, just for Bruno and Sweeney alone.

That's fine and all. It's just, when the hell did Rocky Romero last find himself anywhere near the main event? What connection do the ROH team actually have? It just looks like a thrown together match, good as it'll no doubt be it doesn't strike me as something that should be a main-event. Then again, it's a two-show shot so I guess it doesn't matter that much if they've got a strong Saturday main.

Is the eight man tag main-eventing? Don't get me wrong, it should be a great match and they don't have the World Champion on the show. But I've never been a fan of multi-man tags main event shows (outside of Survivor Series and War Games, where it's basically called for). Especially seemingly random ones. Not a big Briscoes fan personally, but hopefully the Tag Title Match main events. Rest of the card looks good, I'm all about that Four Corner Survival.

Mania could do with another undercard match and Carlito vs. Flair would have filled that need. I guess it's down to Carlito being in the bad books that it got cancelled, right?

Oh boy, you're gonna pay for that one! Shades of gray = unspoken Russo evil around here. I think people just want Cena to turn heel so he'll stop cutting those goofy ass Rock style promos that he can't carry off where he talks too fast, too high and in too grating of a voice to be taken seriously. Every time in the past few months when he's been allowed to talk like a human being, he's been KILLER. Dead on what was needed to add credibility to the feud. And then the last Raw before Mania, he cuts a promo where he's half fantastic promo guy and half cartoon character and it just takes away from the good stuff. Cena isn't going to get by on his ringwork (EDIT: And by that I mean get by in the places where he currently isn't getting by and is getting booed), he needs to be cutting convincing promos. As a face, the chances of him doing that or getting to do that whatever your viewpoint are too hit and miss. I'm not saying he should turn, but that's why if it were to happen I'd be happy about it.

No Love Shack I'm afraid. I'll be doing it as an opening segment for AngleMania instead, just pretend it was never announced, k!

We return to HeldDOWN~! and to the ring itself, ready for that competition I promised you a few centimetres up the page! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! In the ring, from HOTlanta, Georgia... weighing in at two hundred, two pounds. One half of the two-time SWF World Tag Team Champions, The Global Party Xchange... this is SSSCCOOOTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYY SSSSSSSSTTAAAAAAAAAAATTIIIIIIIIIIIICC!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wow, a rather heated reception for Scotty Static. Which may have something to do with who we just found out would be his opponent tonight... COACH Gee, ya think? Never one to care unduely about fan reactions, Static leans over the ropes and jaws right back at the patriotic Canadian crowd. A group of fans in the front row wave their Canadian flags right back at him, as "Rush" by Tom Sawyer now hits causing every flag and fan to rise in unison! Still amped up about his newly gained PPV payday, Strutter storms through the entrance doors and encourages the crowd to 'make some noise'. Like they need telling. BUFFER And his opponent. From THUNDER BAY, ONTARIO CANADA!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" BUFFER Accompanied to the ring by RICK HEYROSS... he weighs in tonight at two hundred and eighteen pounds! "AFTER HOURS"... FFFFEEEEEEELLLLLLLIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXX SSSSSSTTRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUTTEEEEERRRRRR!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Strutter slides into the ring and shoos Static away as he positions himself in the centre of the ring. Only now does Heyross realise he's come unprepared. But luckily, there's plenty of fans willing to lend their Canadian flag to him to provide a backdrop. STRUTTER Thunder Bay, y'all know what time it is! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Heyross holds the Canadian flag high, as Strutter passes the mic back to Michael Buffer and places his hand on his chest as O Canada begins to play. In the background, Scotty Static sits in the corner with a derisory look on his face throughout the Canadian National Anthem. A rousing applause goes up at the end of the song from the crowd, Strutter now ready to go after getting serious for a minute. COLE Well Felix Strutter set for one on one action, here in his hometown of Thunder Bay. And what a night it has been already for the hometown boy, after finding out just moments ago that he'll be the sixteenth entrant into the Money In The Bank Battle Royal this Sunday night at AngleMania VI! COACH Felix is my boy, but that had to have been rigged. COLE It'll be interesting to see how Strutter fares here. Until a couple of minutes ago he didn't even know he was set to compete here tonight! Where-as even though Scotty Static didn't know the actual identity of his opponent, he has had chance to stretch out and warm-up. COACH And lets not forget Scotty'll be in Money In The Bank too. This is his last chance to make an impression before Sunday too. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and Static continues to sit in the corner, sarcastically asking Felix if he's done singing yet. His offer to ask the 'guys in the truck to play some Celine Dion for ya' is laughed off by "After Hours", the two men circling as Scotty finally leaves the corner. COLE Not the first time these two have met. Infact it was in also in Canada, Winnipeg to be exact, where Strutter as part of Team Canada won the 6-Man Tag Team Championships from The Hooligans. Something I'm sure isn't lost on Scotty Static. Felix offers up a single knucklelock to Static, The GPXer slapping the hand to test for any traps. Nothing happens though, so he slowly begins to lock hands... until suddenly a high Roundhouse whistles towards his head! Static JUST ducks his head in time and scurries into a neutral corner, complaining to the referee about Strutter's tactics. "CAN - A - DA!" "CAN - A - DA!" "CAN - A - DA!" "CAN - A - DA!" Daring Static on, Strutter offers a collar and elbow this time. Understandably Static is a little more wary this time, but the two end up locking up and Strutter comes out on top with a side headlock. Sinking to one knee the Canadian grinds on the head a couple of times, which probably annoys Static as much as it hurts him, prompting him to climb up and land a forearm to the ribs. And another. Backing into the ropes, Static then shoots Strutter off, but he comes sprinting back and knocks Static down with a shoulder tackle! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Any excuse for the crowd to cheer is taken, as Strutter hits the ropes again. Static flops over onto his front and forces Strutter to go up and over. But as The GPXer scrambles to his feet, he doesn't expect Strutter to have stopped and to be waiting on him, swinging with another high Roundhouse Ki... DUCKED! Static just avoids the kick again, crawling on all fours and sliding out of the ring in frustration! COLE That's twice Felix has almost connected with that Roundhouse Kick and twice Scotty Static has been just a second quick enough to evade it. COACH He'd better hope he stays a second quick enough too. Getting kicked in the face is no fun. No fun what-so-ever. From the floor Static complains that he came to wrestle, not to 'do that MMA shit', but referee Brian Hebner shows no sympathy as he begins to lay on the 10 count. Felix Strutter isn't going to wait that long though and he runs across the ring, hitting the far ropes and sprinting back. Quickly, Static jogs around the ringpost to get out of the way, Strutter vaulting clean over the top rope and guiding himself safely down onto the ring apron. To the left of him Static assumes he's dodged the bullet and takes the opportunity to jaw with the fans on that side of the ring. However, behind him, Felix scales the turnbuckles. And he waits there perched until Static ends his conversation, vaulting off the top with a frontflip, FLATTENING STATIC WITH A SOMERSAULT DIVE!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Strutter hops right back up, having his landing cushioned by landing on Scotty Static's torso, slapping hands his his fellow Thunder Bay'ers. COLE Felix Strutter taking to the air! And he is all fired up, the adrenaline must be flowing through him like never before after these rollercoaster past few minutes! Having done enough meet and greet for now, Strutter peels Static off the canvas and dumps him back into the ring. Strutter then slides right in after him and makes the cover... 1... 2... No! Strutter puts the boots to Static a little, before pulling him up off the canvas and placing him throat-first over the middle rope. And even in his hometown, Felix isn't above placing his knee down across the back of the head and choking his opponent down a little. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FO..." He does break a little earlier than he maybe would in America though. Strutter now drags Static off the ropes and irish whips him across the ring, springing up to meet him on the rebound with a picturesque Standing Dropkick! And a picturesque landing follows, allowing him to make a quick pin... 1... 2... No! COLE Felix Strutter looking good here. And you have to say, he's a strong darkhorse going into Money In The Bank. He's going to have tons of momentum on his side, assuming he manages to win here tonight. Backing Scotty up into a corner, Strutter reels back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops Static across the chest. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...a second time. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a third! COACH Felix lighting Static up like a cheap blunt! COLE Why a cheap one? COACH I dunno, sounded more descriptive in my head. Wringing out Static's wrist, After Hours prepares to irish whip him from corner to corner. However Static manages to twist out of the whip, ducking his head and spearing Strutter back into the turnbuckles behind him! With Strutter winded, Static then tucks and rolls backwards creating some space to run in and smash the Canadian in the corner with a diving forearm strike in the corner! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Now it's Static with the whip, this one successful. Strutter nestles in the opposite corner and Static charges in after him with another forearm. Picking up momentum by the second Static now turns and sprints off the far ropes, as Strutter comes staggering out of the corner towards the centre of the ring. After Hours has enough of his wits about him to be prepared for his opponent this time though and as Static looks to fire off with a third forearm in quick succession, he finds his leg scythed out from underneath him with a drop toehold! Static's face bounces off the canvas as Strutter scrambles up, off the ropes and sliding into second base with a basement dropkick... SAFE!! Able to retract his head just in time, Static pushes up off his haunches and catches Strutter in the back of the head with a legdrop just as he's stopped skidding across the canvas!! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The pace quickening here, as you'd expect from these two cruiserweight athletes. COACH X-Division. COLE Sorry, X-Division. Forget where I was for a second. Following the legdrop, Static pulls the hometown hero up onto all fours and straddles him as if for a camel clutch. But, that's what he wanted you to think. Instead he rocks forward, taking Strutter over with him into the Gedoh Clutch... 1... 2... Kickout! Static stumbles forward but quickly turns on his heels after Strutter, who comes his feet in the corner. Up leaps the GPXer, but Strutter sidesteps... ...Static landing on the middle rope and backflipping back to the canvas! He lands just in time as Strutter aims for his head with a clothesline, ducking underneath and swinging around the body of his opponent into a waistlock. With his back to the turnbuckles, it looks like Static is going for the kill as he lifts for a German... but Strutter tucks forward, bringing Static over into a pinning predicament... 1... 2... NO! It's Static up in the corner now, as Strutter runs in. Instead of sidestepping Static uses the more forthright counter of an elbow to the face to put pay to whatever Felix had in mind though, before hopping up to the middle rope. And he prepares to lower the boom, as he stands upright on the ropes. Strutter gets a sudden burst of energy though and recklessly throws himself over the top rope, grabbing the rope on his way over and kicking Static in the chest with his trailing foot in the process! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pulling himself up by that same rope, Strutter nudges Static over a bit as he sits dis-orientated on the top rope. Firing up the crowd, the hometown boy then throws some more caution to the wind as he vaults to the top... ...springboards off... ...AND SNARES STATIC OFF THE ROPES WITH A TREMENDOUS HURRICANRANA!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Unbelievable! You'll only see this kind of action here on Smackdown! COACH HeldDOWN~! COLE Right. Sorry. COACH Besides, it's more like once every three weeks on Smackdown. As if he were shot out of a cannon, Static goes flying across the ring and ends up in a heap a good six or seven feet away! Feeling it after his high-risk move, over crawls Strutter, turning Scotty labouriously over onto his back and dropping on top with a hook of the leg... 1... 2... NO!! KICKOUT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Strutter slaps the mat and Heyross takes issue with Brian Hebner and his count. He should probably be more worried about the displeased Canadian crowd though. After all, he is a Hebner. COLE Neither of these men are going to hold back here, but with AngleMania VI and Money In The Bank just three days away, this might be a mixed blessing to be competing tonight. Pulling Static back up by the hair, Strutter rains down with a couple of shots to the back of the head. Once he's softened Scotty up a little he then turns to the crowd, giving the signal that it's soon to be OVAH~! Strutter hooks up the arms, applying a double underhook and preparing for the Thunder Bay Throttle, in front of the roaring Thunder Bay natives. However, Static knows enough about his surprise opponent to know that's bad news and quickly drops to one knee, popping right back up and coming to his feet with Felix hung over his shoulders in a fireman's carry! COLE Nice counter! Carrying Strutter around for a second, Static picks his spot and presses Strutter up, faceplanting him into the canvas! Stepping over the back, The GPXer then runs the ropes and comes back, with enough momentum to frontflip and FLATTEN Felix's face with a Somersault Legdrop!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And WHAT a legdrop! COACH Scotty might not weigh that much in the land of professional wrestling, but that's still two hundred pounds coming down on the back of your head! With an arrogant smirk into the crowd, Static shoots the half, turning Strutter over and covering... 1... 2... SHOULDER UP! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" And just like that the smirk disappears as Static takes his turn to cast a look referee Hebner's way. Rick Heyross tries to encourage Strutter on from the outside, the Canadian seemingly seeing stars still as he's soon brought back up to his feet. "CAN - A - DA!" "CAN - A - DA!" "CAN - A - DA!" "CAN - A - DA!" The chants of the crowd only serve to annoy HOTlanta's finest, pulling the trigger on a big right hand to the face. Hebner warns Static about the closed fist as Strutter slumps down to one knee. Static shrugs the attention off though, as he applies his own double underhook and prepares to Spike the proverbial Punch! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" His finishing move is equally well scouting though, or at least successfully read, as Strutter deadweights Scotty's attempts to lift him. Static releases the hold on the arms temporarily to club Strutter over the back a few times, before trying again. Again he can't get him though. So, frustratedly, Static throws down the arms and takes advantage of Felix's position on one knee by springing up and throwing a Shining Wiza... ...NO! Strutter ducks the knee! Both men come to their feet almost in unison and Strutter turns, to see Static coming at him with a nifty little sidestep. Static throws out his leg again, this time with a Superkick... ...but again Strutter ducks, Static now wheeling around in search of his opponent... *SMACK!* ...AND GETTING KICKED UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH A HIGH ROUNDHOUSE!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH MIRKO CRO COP'D~!~! COLE At the third time of asking, the Roundhouse connects! But Strutter has to follow up here! Scotty collapses flat on his face as Strutter falls back to one knee, shaking out the cobwebs from the earlier legdrop that still has him shaken. However, instead of going for the cover once he's cleared his head, Strutter grabs Static's trailing foot and drags him backwards, next to the turnbuckles. Strutter then heads up top, looking to put the final flurish on the result as he sets himself, pointing out into his hometown crowd, before soaring... ...AND LANDING WITH THE SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE INCREDIBLE MOVE! Strutter grabs the far arm and turns Static towards him, drops down and covers... 1... 2... 3- FOOT ON THE ROPES!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE That was pure instinct on Scotty Static's part right there! Strutter neglected to move Static away from the ropes and it might just have cost him the victory here in his hometown! COACH Say what you want, Scotty's tough. Not many people would have the presence of mind to move their leg at all after that move. Learning his lesson the hard way, Strutter log-rolls Static over a couple of times towards the center of the ring, before trying again... 1... 2... No, Static kicks out this time! Dragging Static off of the canvas, the disappointment is clear on Strutter's face as he rocks his opponent with a forearm. And a second. Ducking his head in low, Strutter then looks for a Northern Lights Suplex. Static suddenly lifts a knee though... twice... and a third time, breaking After Hours' grip around his waist and blocking the suplex. As Felix comes back up winded, Static then pushes him back a step... *SMACK!* ...and LANDS with a Leg Lariat!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Still woozy, Static virtually collapses on top of Strutter... 1... 2... NO! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Static rolls away and tries to lift himself back off the canvas again. He pushes up onto all fours and waits for the fog to clear in his head before pushing him, lounging over the ropes... "FE - LIX!" "FE - LIX!" "FE - LIX!" "FE - LIX!" ...and coming face to face with hundreds of partizan Canadians, routing his opponent on! COLE This Thunder Bay crowd trying to push Strutter over the finishing line here. COACH And it'll be like this on Sunday, I'll bet. Forcing himself off the ropes Static seems to take his own heart from the chants as he brings Strutter in, landing a forearm to stun him. A second forearm follows, before Static brushes past and leaps back off the ropes with a Bulldog! Strutter gets planted face first and staggers right back to his feet as Static now hits the opposite side and looks for one final shot, aiming high with as much of a Lariat as he can summon with his two hundred-ish pound frame... ...CAUGHT! Strutter comes to life all of a sudden and snares the arm, spinning out behind with the arm. By the arm, he then turns Scotty around and boots him in the gut, cradling up the arms... *WHAM!* ...AND PLANTING HIM WITH THE THUNDER BAY THROTTLE!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE GOT HIM! From out of nowhere, The Thunder Bay Throttle, IN Thunder Bay! Will that be all!? With the crowd still unashamedly cheering the move named after their town, Strutter then wearily turns Static and slumps on top, pulling on the leg of Static's leatherish pants in some equating a leg-hook... 1... 2... 3!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE YES IT WILL! Heyross jumps for joy in time with the Thunder Bay crowd, Hebner calling for the bell (which is a good thing this time). Strutter rolls off of Static and pumps his fists over his head, before rolling out of the ring and shaking hands with his manager. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "AFTER HOURS"... FFFEEEEEEELLLLLLLIIIIIIIXXXXXXX SSSSSTTRRRRRRUUUUUUUTTEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And Felix Strutter is going to Money In The Bank with ALL the momentum on his side! Plucked from the verge of a non-appearance in his home-country's AngleMania, Strutter picks up a hard-fought victory over a former two-time Tag Team Champion here in Thunder Bay! And could he shock the world this Sunday and earn himself that guaranteed contract for a World Title shot!? Strutter looks a little shaken still but he slaps a few hands on his way back up the ramp. Surely this wasn't what he planned on when he showed up tonight, he couldn't have really dreamed of it actually. But it's happened and now Strutter is rolling, turning to the crowd and telling them in no uncertain terms, he's going to AngleMania to win Money In The Bank! COLE Three days away, Money In The Bank, it'll be sixteen men and only one winner of that signed, sealed and delivered contract for a shot at the OAOAST World Champion any time within the next year. Strutter will be there, Scotty Static will be there too, as will fourteen others. And whoever comes out of our historic main-event as OAOAST World Champion, one of their most immediate challengers will be Etched In Stone~! COACH Laaaame!

In the executive conference room in The Fort William Gardens, which I assume actually exists but if not re-read it as catering with a few lawn chairs provided, a large number of the OAOAST roster have been assembled and talk amongst themselves. And when I say a large number, I mean it, at least 40-50 wrestlers in the room (seriously, how many characters do we need people?). The mass number of voices mash together in the air but from what we can pick up, it seems nobody in the room seems to know what's going on and why they've been called together. And the various suggestions and conspiracy theories being thrown around are laughed off, except in one corner of the room where Quentin Benjamin's off-hand thought of a 'wellness policy' has left those around him sweating profusely. Ie. NRG. Infact, so frenzied is the speculation that nobody seems to notice "Cowboy" Bill Watts entering the room. WATTS AHEM! The room falls silent. That might be because the lovely MARIA is standing to Watts' left twiddling her thumbs. WATTS Okay, thank you all for showing up here tonight. Especially those of you back from Japan for this historic weekend in the company's history. AngleMania VI is just three days away and over the next few days, we'll be making the final push for the show with various live appearances and events. And we thank you all for your co-operation in making AngleMania VI the BIGGEST AngleMania in history!! A murmur goes up from the crowd. Not an entirely happy one. WATTS Now, obviously, there are only so many spots at AngleMania itself. And as I'm sure you've realised from looking around the room, we have called only those not currently on the AngleMania card to this meeting. The reason being, there has been a change to the Money In The Bank Battle Royal layout, as requested by AngleSault who is unfortunately still convalescing and can't explain in person. Basically, he closed off the open entry last week and decided to limit the field to the sixteen men he had secured. However, last week, you may have seen that James Riggs was taken out of the Money In The Bank, therefore leaving us with one open spot. Another murmur starts around the room but this time it's a rather interested murmur. Meanwhile Watts signals to the door, at which point two member of the OAOAST staff wheel in a big, silver tumbler. WATTS Every member of the active roster not currently booked in a match at AngleMania, their name is in this tumbler. We're going to draw one name and that lucky person will go to AngleMania and compete with fifteen others, for a guaranteed title shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion any time within the next 12 months! Already everyone in the room is making their own plans for when their World Champion. A little premature, perhaps, but still. WATTS In addition, the final lucky entrant will be in action live on HeldDOWN~! immediately following this draw, which is why you've all been asked to dress to compete. Now, any questions? MELODY NERDLY Uh, yeah. Nerdly actually raises his hand as if he were still in school, earning some snickers from those around him. MELODY Yeah, like, uhm, what was the deal with that 'no moves off the top rope rule' in 92? Who thought [i]that[/i] was a good idea, seriously? WATTS ...okay, Maria, let's get this draw underway. Skipping the short distance over to the tumbler, Maria waves to the crowd of wrestlers in front of her. A few of those not thinking straight at this particular second wave back in the same giddy way before realising how stupid they must look. Meanwhile, Maria gives the tumbler a couple of rotations before opening up the hatch. MARIA And the winner is... ...MISTER WARRIOR!!!! Groans and unhappy mumblings go up, as every cranes their neck around to the room to where Mister Warrior sits. Except, of course, he's nowhere to be seen. WATTS (nervously laughing) Okay, let's chalk that down to a practice draw, shall we? Watts takes the ball and throws it over his shoulder, as Maria plucks another lucky name from the tumbler. MARIA Okay, congratulations... ...SHANNON MOORE!!!! The groans and unhappy mumblings sound suspiciously like cursing from some sections as the assembled superstars are clearly not happy. Rick Heyross rolls his eyes, "Sweet" Lucius Soul throwing his hands in the air while Mr. Boricua just says 'GRRRRR' real loud. MARIA Wait a second... that's no good. Let me try again, wait a second... Maria grabs another ball... MARIA ...that's odd. This one says SHANNON MOORE too! ...and another... MARIA SHANNON MOORE! ...and another... MARIA SHANNON MOORE! ...and now a whole handful... MARIA SHANNON MOORE! SHANNON MOORE! SHANNON MOORE! Gee, there sure are a lot of you called Shannon Moore in here! Sensing something is up, Bill Watts eyes up the tumbler. And upon realising it's facing the wrong way, he gives it a quick spin to reveal the front of the tumbler and a very clear sign taped to the front, reading [b]BROCK AUSSTIN TUMBLER[/b] in bright red letters. Groans go up at quite possibly the worst joke in OAOAST history as Watts frustratedly leaves, dragging another tumbler behind him with an qually descript sign on it, this one reading [b]REAL TUMBLER[/b]. MELODY Wait a second... why was Mister Warrior's name in the Shannon Moore tumbler? I sure hope someone got fired for that blunder! WATTS ...yes, well, I assume that's built enough drama up. Maria, I believe this is the right collection of names, so let's finally get the actual final entrant. MARIA Okay, but Shannon Moore's gonna be mighty pissed when he realised he could have been in the battle royal. WATTS *groans* MARIA The REAL winner is... ...FELIX STRUTTER!!!! HEYROSS YYYEEESSS!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" The Thunder Bay crowd in the arena watching all this on the AngleTron positively EXPLODE, as Felix Strutter leaps up in the middle of the crowd and pumps his fists. Rick Heyross does the same, as dirty looks are cast the duo's way from every corner of the room. WATTS Congratulations Felix. You're going to AngleMania! STRUTTER DAMN RIGHT! WATTS If you could make your way to the ring, you're in action next. Gentlemen, thank you all for coming. The Cowboy quickly makes himself scarse, seeing the dissapointment and anger of everyone but Heyross and Strutter at the last chance of going to AngleMania being taken away from them. Meanwhile Strutter jogs his way past the losers around him, ready to compete... [b]NEXT![/b]

I've said it before and I'm not above repeating myself. Ending Taker's streak doesn't mean nearly as much as people make out. People who think that one win over The Undertaker is going to turn someone into a bona-fide superstar alone is off their head. It'll give them a temporary boost, sure. But you could say the same thing about Chris 'First Undisputed Champion In History' Jericho. At first it was special, but when there was no follow-up to it, it became a meaningless tagline, growing gradually more meaningless with every year it kept being brought up. WWE expected that alone to make Jericho a star. It didn't. Neither would ending Taker's streak.

March 27th: The announcement of Mike Quackenbush coming to ROH created quite a big buzz. Quackenbush is scheduled to only appear on the 4/27 St. Paul and 4/28 Chicago events. We now have Quackenbush's matches to announce. St. Paul will see an Ultimate Endurance (elimination match with each fall having a different stipulation) with Jay & Mark Briscoe vs. Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw vs. Gran Akuma & Hallowicked vs. Pelle Primeau & Mitch Franklin. The stipulations for each fall will be announced soon. Chicago will get a Six Man Mayhem pitting Quackenbush vs. Delirious vs. Kevin Steen vs. Gran Akuma vs. Jigsaw vs. Hallowicked. Both these bouts promise to bring some exciting action to both St. Paul and Chicago. Will any of these debuting athletes be the future of ROH? Act now to save 20% on all seats to both St. Paul and Chicago at ROHwrestling.com.

Because he's not booked as the next John Cena. He's booked as the next Rock or next Stone Cold. It's not his fault, he clearly tries and clearly cares about wrestling which is admirable. But you can't expect people not to compare him to Rock or Austin when it's clearly, clearly what WWE are trying to turn him into.

Well, I'm not ordering personally and I'll wait for the DVD if the show turns out to be better than expected like last year. Because on paper, it doesn't look good. Two probable trainwrecks (Kane/Khali, Ashley/Melina), two possible trainwrecks (Batista/Taker, Lashley/Umaga) and two potential clusterfucks (MITB, ECW Match), plus MVP and Benoit which should be good but isn't anything you couldn't see on a B-show. Which leaves HBK to pull out the heavy goods on the big stage to try and carry Cena to the greatest non-gimmicked match of his career to save the show. With a bad knee. The card just doesn't look like a WrestleMania card. There's no real WrestleMania must-see matches, outside of MITB and maybe HBK/Cena. And they need at least one, maybe two more matches to back the show up with some quality. Preferrably actual matches, rather than Tag Turmoils, Battle Royals, Cruiserweight Opens or other lazy booking mechanisms. I hate to sound negative about it because the company has actually done a pretty good job building the show the past few weeks and improved and created some interest in the weekly shows recently. But there's going to have to be some real career-best performances all through the card to save it this year.

I watched Survivor Series 95 a few weeks ago and think that some sort of 'renactment' of the Diesel/Bret ending is the way to go. Have Batista do something that would rightfully beat Taker on the floor. Batista Bomb through the announce table, something along those lines. Batista deadweights Taker back into the ring and takes too long about following up, Taker cradles him or maybe catches him in the Triangle Choke for the win. Then post-match, Batista loses it and Batista Bombs Taker enough times to leave him laying (at least long enough to leave, then give Taker time to do a worn-down celebration). It'd turn Batista full heel and I doubt that's what they want, but it'd keep both relatively strong. Also, I've been calling the crowd turning on Lashley at Mania for weeks now and I'm still betting on it, but Lashley got a decent reaction this week. Pity they botched the ending to Vince/Lashley so blatantly. He was CLEARLY supposed to kick out after the Samoan Drop and get pinned after Umaga ran through all his signature moves. I'm surprised only TWO people in the entire thread seemed to notice it, I thought it was one of the most blatant botched finishes they've ever had. Although, at least it didn't alter the outcome.

Because it's clear that's what WWE top brass believe he is and that's what he's being pushed as, rather than being pushed on his own merits (which are there, don't get me wrong), as himself. Which is why it makes an easy comparison. If they let Cena be Cena instead of the Cena who tries to be The Rock in all his interviews, with the Austin 'controversial face' shtick and the near-Hogan level of vulnerability, chances are people wouldn't compare them as much.

He used to write for Pro Wrestling Illustrated I believe, so he was featured in that quite a bit.

UTSU: Time limit draw wouldn't work, if only because they don't announce time-limits that often. It works in NOAH because every match has a time-limit. ROH I guess have time-limits only for big matches, but regularly (Hawk?). WWE only use it for special occasions. The moment they announce there's a time-limit for Benoit and MVP, you'd know what's coming next, which is either a time-limit draw or the Scorpio/Benoit 'Wrestler X wins with 1 second to spare) finish.

Even I forgot about it! So long as we use the free months for Syndicated (except July, which'd be Battlebowl), I don't see as there should be a problem with that. Unless anyone else has reservations.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the SWF Tag Team Championships!” “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “Yes fans, it’s time for our main event,” Mak Francis enthuses as the sounds of ‘Part To Damascus’ by Wyclef Jean start ringing out around the Eden Arena, “we’ve seen so many things in the last few weeks, from Michael Stephens chokeslamming Wildchild from the top buckle, to Wildchild’s crazed actions against Calvin Szechstein, to that insane streetfight last week between Stephens and Dangerous… and not to mention the events between Landon Maddix and Gabriel Drake earlier tonight, which means that Maddix will surely not be at 100% for this match!” “Good,” Suicide King says. “Besides, I’m sure Toxxic can take these two clowns on his own - he managed it last week!” However, the New Zealand fans don’t seem to share the Gambling Man’s opinion, given the cheers that greet the two men making their way out onto the entrance ramp! Johnny Dangerous and Wildchild are grim-faced as they start to make their way down towards the ring, and although both acknowledge nearby fans their minds don’t seem to be on it as much as usual. “Introducing first,” Funyon continues on from his original announcement, “the challengers; at a combined weight of 439lbs, they are the only team to have held the SWF Tag Titles on four different occasions… WIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLD… AAAAAAAANNNNNNND… DAAAAAANNNNNNNNN-GEROUSSSSSSSSSSS!!” “LET’S GO JOHN-NY!” “LET’S GO DUB-CEE!” Wildchild somersaults into the ring between the bottom and middle ropes, while Johnny climbs the steps and enters the ring in a slightly more traditional way. Both men climb to different middle turnbuckles and raise their arms for the fans… but again, a smile is far from either man’s face. “So Mak, tell me why, given that they were defeated three weeks ago, Wimp and Dangermouse have another title shot?” King asks. “I can only assume that Tom Flesher felt that Landon Maddix pulling Johnny’s tights for the pin was reason for a rematch,” Francis replies. “Yeah, right. And as well as despising cheating, Flesher’s straight-edge as well.” However, whatever the reason for it the rematch is here, and now the Eden Arena awaits the defending champions. They don’t have long to wait, because after a few moments a pulsing electronic beat starts to be heard… ‘Looking out a dirty old window Down below the cars in the city go rushing by I sit here alone and I wonder why…’ …and as the Galacticos’ entrance music for tonight becomes recognisable as ‘Kids In America’ by Kim Wilde, Landon Maddix appears on the entrance ramp. He instantly gets a cheer, not least because of the brutal beatdown suffered earlier at the hands of Gabriel Drake. “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” But all good things must come to an end, and for Landon the positive reaction ends when his tag team partner appears behind him. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “And their opponents,” Funyon booms as Michael Stephens smirks at the crowd, “at a combined weight of 426lbs, they are the reigning and defending SWF Tag Team Champions; Landon ‘La Cucaracha’ Maddix and Michael Stephens… THA… GAAAAAAAAA-LAC-TI-COOOOOOOOSSSSSSS!!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “It’s odd how things change,” Mak Francis muses as Stephens and Maddix make their way down the entrance ramp, “when we first saw this team Maddix was hated and the crowd loved Stephens; now it’s the other way around.” “And now they love Maddix and hate Stephens,” King extrapolates, “and here I was thinking the fans couldn’t get any dumber.” Wildchild’s attention is fully focused on the man who chokeslammed him from the top buckle to the floor three weeks ago; Johnny Dangerous is as well, but the Barracuda holds his partner back from racing forward to attack the Englishman. For his part Stephens seems totally unbothered by the obvious hostility, to the point where he sings along the ‘WHO-AH!’s in the chorus of his entrance theme for tonight. Meanwhile Landon, clearly in pain and just as grim-faced as his opponents, removes his trenchcoat with a wince. “We know that Wildchild always starts out for Wild & Dangerous,” Mak says, “so it’ll be interesting to see whether Landon goes first for the champions, given his condition, or Michael Stephens just steps up and takes what’s coming to him…” There’s not even a discussion. Landon steps to the apron and slaps Stephens on the back, while the Englishman gives him a thumbs-up and turns to face the two men he used a steel chair to destroy last week. If Wildchild is surprised by his enemy’s willingness to get into the ring with him he doesn’t show it. Matthew Kivell shows the Tag Titles to all four corners of the arena, hands them out through the ropes and then calls for the bell… *DING-DING-DING!* “LET’S GO DUB-CEE!” “LET’S GO DUB-CEE!” The chants rise around the Eden Arena, but Michael Stephens doesn’t seem to mind; instead the straight-edger waves his arms as if encouraging the fans to make noise, then beckons Wildchild in towards him with an eager grin on his face! “I don’t believe this!” Mak gasps, “Michael Stephens actually wants Wildchild to attack him!” “Oh, he’s in the zone now,” King chortles, “he’s back on a winning streak and all that confidence has come right back to him, Francis.” “I think it’s called ‘arrogance’, King.” “To-may-to, to-mah-to. Literally, in this case.” If Wildchild is taken aback by his opponent’s cockiness it only lasts for a second; suddenly, with a blood-curdling scream the Bahaman Bomber rushes forwards and starts blazing away with a barrage of punches! The first finds its mark, but Stephens raises his left arm and blocks the second, the third, the fourth - then the Englishman lashes out with a right elbow smash that catches Wildchild on the jaw, uses his already-bent left arm to follow up immediately with an elbow to the cheekbone, then delivers a stunning European uppercut that staggers the Caribbean Cruiserweight back onto the ropes! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Excellent tactics,” King applauds, “he suckered Wildchild into a frontal assault where he would have the advantage.” Stephens grabs Wildchild by the wrist and leans backwards, Irish whipping the Cruiserweight Champion towards the far ropes. The Bahaman Bomber rebounds and is quick enough to duck under the spinning heelkick that Stephens aimed at his head, then carries on back towards the cables where he started. Stephens is able to land on his feet, then turns around to see Wildchild hurtling back towards him and take off for a leg lariat… but Stephens ducks in his turn! Wildchild lands on his feet and continues running, hits the far ropes again- “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” -and Landon Maddix hauls down on the top rope, low-bridging Wildchild and causing him to tumble to the outside! “Maddix not wasting any time in breaking some rules,” Mak notes, “and it looks like the crowd have turned against him.” “Fickle,” King sniffs, “if sensible. But that shows, God help me for saying this, good sense on Maddix’s part. He got taken apart by Gabe, so if he wants to win and prevent the travesty of a fifth Wild & Dangerous tag title reign, he’ll be best served by taking every shortcut he can.” Shortcuts or not, Landon certainly seems intent on getting the job done. He delivers an elbow to the back of Wildchild’s head as the Bahaman Bomber starts trying to get up, then knocks picks Wildchild up as if for an atomic drop… but doesn’t drop him. Instead Maddix tilts the woozy Bahaman back into a reverse wheelbarrow and looks over at Stephens. Mike looks puzzled for a moment, but then realisation dawns and, as Matthew Kivell starts counting inbetween telling Landon to get WC back in the ring, Stephens turns around and flips a v-sign at Johnny before running for the far cables! The Barracuda can only watch as Stephens hurtles back across the ring, then leaves his feet to go sailing out over the top rope… *WHAM!* …performing a somersault in midair and landing with his leg across Wildchild’s throat, driving the Human Hurricane down onto the protective mats! “HO-LY SHIT!” “HO-LY SHIT!” “You’re damn right ‘Holy Shit’!” Mak shouts, “that was the Extremely Bad Hangover to the frickin’ outside!” “Stop me Francis, because I might be about to start cheering for the Galacticos!” Suicide King shouts back, “and since that team involves Landon Maddix that’s just not right!” Johnny Dangerous has run down the apron to a neutral corner near the carnage on the outside and looks down in horror, but Matthew Kivell sternly directs him back to his corner, then starts yelling at the Galacticos to get Wildchild back into the ring. Landon helps Stephens up, then they both pick Wildchild up and roll the Bahaman under the bottom rope before Maddix returns to his station in the corner and Stephens follows his opponent back into the ring. Once there Mike pulls Wildchild up to his feet and applies a front facelock, then spins sideways and takes the Cruiserweight Champion down with a swinging neckbreaker. “I think Stephens and Maddix have set their stall out early here,” Francis remarks, still sounding slightly shaky from the shock of the champions’ death-defying move, “they both have one eye on From The Fire and want to get this match over with as soon as possible, so it looks like they’re going to hit Wildchild with everything!” “Plus, remember how Wildchild was against Calvin Szechstein,” King puts in as Stephens gets back to his feet and tags Maddix, “and then contrast that with when he stole that win over Johnson last week. Hit him early enough and all that aggression leaches out, he just turns into the whimpering spot monkey we’ve had to put up with for years.” “King, I don’t think anyone could describe Wildchild as a ‘whimpering spotmonkey’,” Mak begins, “and-” “I just did.” “-and I think he has a legitimate-” *BANG!* “-whoah, springboard quebrada!” Mak interrupts himself this time as Landon Maddix vaults over the top rope and twists in midair to land on the second rope, then backflips off to come down on Wildchild with an inch-perfect quebrada! Maddix seems a bit disorientated for a moment, his earlier beating perhaps catching up, but he doesn’t need to be in command of all his faculties to be lying atop Wildchild for a pin… ONE! TWO!! …but Wildchild kicks out! “LET’S GO DUB-CEE!” “LET’S GO DUB-CEE!” Landon didn’t hook the leg on the cover but it would have been unlikely to make any difference anyway; regardless, La Cucaracha starts to bring Wildchild up again, then places the Cruiserweight Champion in a rear facelock. With the Bahaman bent backwards Landon extends his right arm out to the side, then swings it around and drives Wildchild back down to the mat with the Landon Eye. Maddix then rolls to his corner and reaches out to tag Stephens, who quickly climbs to the top rope before diving off to drive his fist into Wildchild’s forehead. Before the Bahaman has even stopped writhing in pain, Stephens has scrambled into a cover (making sure to hook the leg)… ONE! TWO!! …but Wildchild kicks out again! “Even kicking out of pins will wear Wildchild out further,” Francis notes, “and don’t forget not only did he have that gruelling match against JJ Johnson last week, but Stephens also maced him with that pepper spray and gave him the Unfinished Business onto an open chair!” “Only because Wildchild interfered!” King retorts. “The Street Fight had no rules; if Toxxic was allowed to do whatever he wanted to Johnny, which he was, he was certainly allowed to do anything he liked to someone who stuck their nose in!” “I wasn’t passing judgement Brian,” Mak sighs, “I was merely pointing out that Wildchild might not be quite at full strength tonight.” “And I was merely pointing out that, just like Maddix, it’s his own damn fault.” With Wildchild having kicked out Michael Stephens looks to take his opponent onto a new ride on the funfair of pain. He brings the Cruiserweight Champion back up to his feet and hooks him into a front facelock again, but this time he twists right around so that he’s back-to-back with Wildchild before sitting out with a Hangman’s neckbreaker. “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” Stephens doesn’t release his grip, instead rolling over and bringing his opponent back up to a vertical base. He lets go of Wildchild’s head, but only long enough to grab the Bahaman’s right wrist in his right hand, and the left wrist in his left. With that done he hauls Wildchild in towards him- *CRUNCH!* -and into a nasty headbutt that causes the already-dazed Cruiserweight Champion to stagger! Stephens starts to twist around, locking Wildchild’s crossed arms around his own throat as he turns back-to-back with the Cruiserweight Champion again, then kicks his legs out and drops down to deliver a goku-raku neckbreaker to the Bahaman. From there Stephens rolls over onto his front, taking Wildchild with him, then bridges forward into an inverted Goku-Raku Clutch! “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “Toxxic’s smart!” King counters the fans’ chants, “that’s an adapted version of Scott Pretzler’s Snowflake Clutch, and Wildchild has tapped to that move before now!” Johnny Dangerous has seen enough; the Barracuda steps through the ropes quickly, then races to the middle of the ring to fire a stomp into Stephens’ midsection and cause him to collapse the bridge! Stephens drops down with some of the air knocked out of him as Kivell interjects himself and demands Johnny leave the ring, which Dangerous does with bad grace. However, Stephens gets back up to his feet and as Johnny steps back through the ropes and turns around to get a view of the ring again what he actually gets is a view of Michael Stephens’ right boot flashing towards him at high speed! *SMACK!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Cheap shot!” Mak shouts. “In reply to Johnny illegally entering the ring to break up a legitimate submission situation!” King shouts back as Johnny topples from the apron to the floor. Stephens shouts something unflattering in the general direction of Johnny, turns around to find Matthew Kivell berating him and flips a v-sign at the referee, then turns his attention back to Wildchild… …only to have the Bahaman Bomber scramble through his legs, slippery as an eel, and make a dive for his corner with his hand outstretched! But of course, Johnny Dangerous isn’t there. “Brilliant!” King chortles as Wildchild looks down aghast at his tag team partner, who is picking himself up from the floor of the Eden Arena. Johnny looks up, sees Wildchild waiting for the tag and struggles to rise to his feet- *WHAM!* -but Michael Stephens spins Wildchild around, then delivers a stunning European uppercut! “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” Stephens grabs Wildchild’s wrist and yanks on it, Irish whipping the Bahaman clean across the ring to the Galacticos’ corner, then waving a mocking ‘bye-bye’ to Johnny as the Barracuda scrambles back onto the apron moments too late to make the tag. Kivell tells Stephens to come away and stop baiting Johnny… then realises that Landon has pragmatically wrapped the tag rope around Wildchild’s neck and has started choking him with it! ‘ONE!’ ‘TWO!’ ‘THREE!’ ‘FOUR!’ ‘FI-’ Landon releases at the last moment, but he doesn’t bother arguing with Kivell; La Cucaracha’s air is not one of a bred-in-the-bone cheater doing what he loves, but rather someone doing what he needs to do to get through this match and still have enough left to take on his enemy in a week’s time. Stephens hurries over and tags Landon, then pulls Wildchild out of the corner and snapmares him over. Landon steps through the ropes as Stephens leaves the ring, then winds his leg back before unleashing hellish kicks into Wildchild’s spine! *CRACK!* *CRACK!* *CRACK!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Dragon Kicks from Maddix,” Mak calls, “and now… well, he’s taken to calling this the ‘Grand Theft Taamo’, mainly because it’s Tom Flesher’s Wet Cement, and it was blatantly stolen from him.” “Yes, yes it was,” King acknowledges as Maddix sits down into the front facelock with bodyscissors on Wildchild, “and even in these inexpert hands, it’s still an effective hold.” However, apart from being a skilled wrestler Tom Flesher was also well aware of things like ring positioning. While Landon’s dual squeeze on Wildchild’s head and body is doubtless painful for the Bahaman Bomber, and nigh-on impossible to escape, he’s failed to take into consideration that he’s presenting his back to Johnny Dangerous. The Barracuda simply steps into the ring, draws his leg back… *CRACK!* “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “-and Landon gets a taste of his own medicine!” Mak shouts as Johnny kicks Maddix in the spine, prompting La Cucaracha to release his hold. Kivell dives in again to force Dangerous out of the ring, but after he’s finished wincing Landon gets up to his feet with a nasty expression on his face, and just as Johnny’s stepping back through the ropes Maddix dropkicks him in the back and sends him tumbling to the floor again! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Maddix gets back up and dusts his hands off, but turns around to see Wildchild getting up. He swings automatically… …Wildchild ducks under it and the Cruiserweight Champion leaps for his corner to tag in Johnny Dangerous… …who once again, is picking himself up off the floor! Wildchild collapses against the top rope, unable to believe his eyes, and Johnny surges up towards the apron- *BANG!* -but before he can get there Landon leaps up and cups his hands under Wildchild’s chin, then falls backwards and brings his knees up to take the Bahaman down with a Lungblower! Johnny’s flailing hand misses Wildchild’s, and before Dangerous can take any further action Maddix grabs the Cruiserweight Champion and starts towing him across the ring towards where Michael Stephens waits in the Galacticos’ corner. “That’s twice Wildchild’s tried to tag Johnny in, only to have had Maddix and Stephens already take Johnny out of the equation,” Mak says, “next time he gets a chance Wildchild needs to make a choice; does he go for help from Johnny again, or does he try to mount a fightback himself with whatever resources he has left?” “Even that shows what a good plan Toxxic came up with here,” King tells his commentary partner, “because right now Wildchild isn’t just being beaten senseless, he’s also feeling doubt. If he hesitates in making that choice should he get the chance, he won’t be able to make either choice because he’ll get cut down first!” Landon has got near enough to his corner now and reaches out a hand to tag in Michael Stephens; the straight-edger steps through the ropes and helps Maddix drag Wildchild up to a vertical base, then Irish whip the Bahaman into the ropes. On his return journey the Human Hurricane finds himself snared with a half-nelson from each man, then both Galacticos lift him up by his singlet and kick their legs out to drive Wildchild down into the canvas with a facebuster! *BANG!* Stephens rolls Wildchild over as Landon exits the ring, and Kivell dives to count… ONE! TWO!! TH- -but Wildchild kicks out! “LET’S GO DUB-CEE!” “LET’S GO DUB-CEE!” Stephens doesn’t even bother performing another move on Wildchild; instead the straight-edger leaves his opponent flat on his back on the mat, heads back to his corner and tags Landon Maddix back in. Maddix starts to climb to the top buckle, pauses to balance for a moment, then leaps off with his arms and legs pumping in the motions of a Frog Splash… *CRUNCH!* …but Wildchild gets his knees up! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “The Galacticos were doing well with their quick tags, cutting off the ring and keeping Wildchild from getting to his partner, but that could have just gone thoroughly wrong!” Mak Francis shouts as Landon rolls away clutching his ribs. “Wildchild’s got a chance now, and he needs to capitalise!” Wildchild looks around and sees Landon hurting on the mat, then turns in search of his tag partner… and this time, this time Johnny is waiting on the apron with his hand outstretched! Wildchild starts to scramble forwards, trying to get to Johnny before Maddix can react… …but beaten up or not, Maddix is tough. He fastens his hands around Wildchild’s ankle, and clings on like grim death. So Wildchild kicks him in the face with his other foot. “DUB-CEE!” “DUB-CEE!” Three times. “DUB-CEE!” “DUB-CEE!” …and Landon lets go. Wildchild boosts himself forwards, rolls across the mat… *smak* …and tags Johnny in. “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The Barracuda explodes into the ring, and the moment Landon gets up off the mat Johnny knocks him straight back down with a roundhouse kick! Michael Stephens vaults the top rope into the squared circle to try and take the Barracuda by surprise, but Johnny floors him as well! “JOHN-NY!” “JOHN-NY!” Landon gets back up… and gets taken down again with another kick! “JOHN-NY!” “JOHN-NY!” Stephens gets back to his feet and Johnny buries his boot into the Englishman’s gut, then grabs a front facelock and throws Mike’s arm over his shoulders. A quick grab of the straight-edger’s pant and a heave, and Stephens comes up and over- *BANG!* -for a vertical suplex! But Johnny isn’t done and rolls back up to his feet, then lifts again! *BANG!* “Johnny Dangerous going for the rolling verticals here,” Mak Francis shouts, “and here comes the third…” *BANG!* “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Johnny gets up again, unlike Michael Stephens, only to find Landon rushing towards him. However the Barracuda’s reflexes are up to the task and he bends his knees and takes Landon onto his shoulders into a Fireman’s carry, then takes a couple of steps forwards and rolls to drive Maddix down with the Spinal Explosion… *WHAM!* …coincidentally (or maybe not), right onto his own tag team partner! “LET’S GO JOHN-NY!” “LET’S GO JOHN-NY!” The Tag Team Champions are prone on the mat and Johnny's in the mood to capitalise. He pulls Landon up and Irish whips him into a neutral corner, then drags the crushed Stephens to his feet, and Irish whips him as well so the Englishman crashes into his partner! Then, with Two Skinny White Guys stacked up in the corner Johnny calls Wildchild back into the ring. The Bahaman seems a little dubious, but quick changes his mind as Johnny grabs him by the wrist and Irish whips him across the ring. Wildchild leaps into the air and spins... *WHAM!* ...and crashes into the Galacticos with the Blue Crush! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Stephens and Maddix stagger out of the corner... and Johnny takes them down with a double clothesline! "LET'S GO JOHN-NY!" "LET'S GO DUB-CEE!" Dangerous kicks Stephens enough to get the straight-edger to roll out of the ring, then drops down to cover Maddix. Wildchild hurriedly exits, and with the ring clear Matthew Kivell drops to make the count... ONE! TWO!! TH- -but Landon kicks out! Johnny gets back to his feet, steps back... and, as Landon starts to woozily get up, the Barracuda ostentatiously takes down the straps on his singlet! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Maddix can't see Johnny and Stephens isn't on hand to warn him, so Landon is unaware of the focused Secret Agent approaching him from behind. Finally Johnny considers that Landon is upright enough and dives in, tucks his head under Landon's left arm and lifts him up... "MI SLAM!" Mak Francis shouts. ...but Landon squirms and drops out of it behind Johnny, then hooks his arm between Dangerous's legs and brings the Barracuda over with a schoolboy! ONE! TWO!! Landon grabs the tights... THHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" "Landon nearly stole one again, but Johnny just kicked out!" Mak Francis shouts as Johnny rolls back up to his feet, ready to exact revenge- "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" -and Landon pokes him in the eye, leading to grudging applause from the Suicide King. Landon has taken more than one sort of beating tonight but he's still tough enough to take the advantage that his dirty tactics have given him, so he grabs Johnny's arm and twists it, bending Dangerous over, then steps over it to put Johnny's arm between his legs before kicking back and up take the Barracuda in the face with the Buenos Noches. Johnny falls back to the mat and Landon covers... ONE! TWO!! ...but Johnny kicks out, much to the relief of Wildchild! "Johnny's barely taken a scratch in this match, it's going to take more than that to beat him," Mak Francis notes... but Landon seems to agree, and rolls Johnny over onto his front before straddling the Barracuda's back to try and secure the Land of Nod! Johnny has no desire to be caught in this hold and he desperately scoots backwards between Maddix's legs, managing to get himself free, then when he comes back to his feet he leaps into the air as Landon turns around, looking for the Guillotine Face Driver... but Landon moves, and Johnny lands on his ass! The Barracuda struggles back up, only to find Landon's arms wrapped around his neck and La Cucaracha falling backwards to drive his opponent's head into the mat with the Complete Shot. "LET'S GO JOHN-NY!" "LET'S GO JOHN-NY!" Landon's tough, but he knows his limits. He leaves Johnny where he landed and heads across the ring to where Michael Stephens is back up on the apron to tag the Englishman in. Stephens steps through the ropes and heads towards Dangerous, then brings the Barracuda up into a standing headscissors from which he begins applying a double underhook. "Stephens Shock Syndrome coming up," Mak calls. "At the least," King retorts, hoping for a Demonstar Driver. However, both commentators are proved wrong (how ironic) as Johnny fights his arms free, then straightens up to send Stephens flying with a back bodydrop! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Landon puts his face in his hands, but this proves to be a mistake as when he looks up again a moment later Johnny Dangerous is heading towards him and the Barracuda lashes out with a Johnny Kick that catches Maddix on the jaw and sends him tumbling to the floor! *CRACK!* "LET'S GO JOHN-NY!" Stephens gets back up holding his back and sees Johnny turning back towards him. Johnny goes high with another roundhouse kick but Stephens ducks under it, runs for his corner to make the tag... ...and there is no Landon Maddix there. "Payback's a bitch, huh Mike?" Mak jokes as Stephens turns back around to protect himself against Johnny, only to find the Barracuda already leaping into the air to deliver an enzuigiri! *CRACK!* Stephens topples forwards to the mat, and with Landon still down on the outside Johnny Dangerous seems to think that it’s time to polish the champions off. And with Michael Stephens in the ring the best way to do that would be to let the man Stephens nearly injured badly three weeks ago, the man who took an Unfinished Business onto a chair last week, get the pinfall. So Johnny Dangerous walks across the ring and tags in the Wildchild. “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Johnny slaps the top rope, then turns and heads back towards Michael Stephens as the Tag Champion struggles to get up. Dangerous pounces and drags Stephens up to his feet while Matthew Kivell starts the five-count, but Johnny ignores him and whips his opponent into the ropes while Wildchild takes up station in the middle of the apron on the opposite side of the ring. Johnny ducks his head as Stephens rebounds and Wildchild gets ready to leap up to deliver the Silver Bullet… …but Stephens doesn’t get elevated over Johnny in a back bodydrop - instead he kills his momentum and slams Johnny’s face into his knee, then grabs a front facelock and falls backwards to spike the Barracuda headfirst into the mat! *CRUNCH-WHAM!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “And that’s a Sobering Thought!” Suicide King shouts, naming the old facebuster/DDT combination that Stephens hasn’t used in a couple of years. Meanwhile Wildchild had leapt up to the top rope ready for the flying forearm, but instead of hurtling through the air he hops down again in a more controlled motion as he sees his tag partner laid out. Stephens rolls over to push himself back to his feet… …and before he gets all the way up Wildchild charges, somersaulting over Stephens and grabbing him by the head to pull him headfirst down into the canvas! *BANG!* “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” “-and that’s the Whiplash!” Mak shouts in reply to the Suicide King. Wildchild, as the legal man, rolls Stephens over and hooks the leg… ONE! TWO!! THHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! “THAT WAS THREE!” “THAT WAS THREE!” “I thought he had him there, but Stephens just managed to kick out!” The Franchise shouts, getting caught up in it now, “Wildchild was milliseconds away from some measure of revenge!” The Bahaman Bomber looks up at Matthew Kivell in disbelief, but the SWF’s senior official sticks to his guns! Wildchild takes a moment to check on Johnny then, having made sure his tag partner is alright, grabs Michael Stephens and starts to drag him to his feet. Then, with the Englishman doubled over, he turns his back and starts threading his arms through Stephens’… “Look out, Wild Ride on the way!” Mak shouts as Wildchild turns around, ducks his head and heaves Stephens onto his back, “this’ll do it!” …but no, because Michael Stephens has enough presence of mind to kick his legs and overbalance himself backwards, landing on his feet behind Wildchild as the Bahaman’s grip loosens! Wildchild turns around to try and get a bead on his opponent, but Stephens fires a boot into his gut! “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” Johnny is still down on the mat, and Stephens grabs a front facelock on Wildchild… then extends his right arm out to the side. “Unfinished Business!” Mak shouts, “Wildchild took this onto a chair last week!” …which may be why Wildchild has no desire to taste the move again this week, as when Stephens starts to swing for the elbow-drive bulldog Wildchild pushes him away and slips out of the facelock, then as Stephens turns back towards him he leaps into the air and nails a gamengiri! *CRACK!* “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “Dodge, kick, dodge, kick,” King shouts in frustration, “will one of you please do something!” Wildchild seems to be taking the Gambling Man’s request to heart, as with Stephens on his back looking up at the lights the Bahaman Bomber is heading for the turnbuckles. As he starts to climb the noise of the crowd grows louder and louder… “LET’S GO DUB-CEE!” “LET’S GO DUB-CEE!” Johnny Dangerous manages to roll over and looks up to see Wildchild on the top rope. However, before the Barracuda can see anything else he feels his leg get grabbed, and Landon Maddix hauls him out of the ring! “LET’S GO DUB-CEE!” “LET’S GO DUB-CEE!” Wildchild might not have even noticed. All his focus is on the man lying below him on the mat, the man who callously tossed him from the top rope to the floor three weeks ago, the man who maced him last week. The man that every single fan in this arena wants to see him beat. So he leaps into the air as high as he can, then plummets down towards Michael Stephens with a flying vertical splash. “BIRD DROPPING!” Mak shouts. …but Michael Stephens gets his knees up. And given Wildchild’s angle of re-entry and the fact that he’s aiming his feet to land either side of Stephens’ torso, those knees are only going one place. *WHAM!* “DENIED!” King yells in delight as Wildchild literally bounces off his opponent, rolling away across the mat in pure agony. Matthew Kivell wants to call for the disqualification for a low blow, you can see he does… but the fact remains that Stephens merely raised his knees, and it was Wildchild who dropped himself onto them. “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” The fans are shitting all over the straight-edger, but as Michael Stephens starts to struggle up it turns out that he’s not going to be the one to deal the final blow. Wildchild, face contorted in pain, is on his knees. Which means he’s perfectly positioned for the- *CRACK!* “SHINING WIZARD!” Mak shouts as Landon Maddix scrambles into the ring and charges across the mat to spring off Wildchild’s leg and drive his knee into the Cruiserweight Champion’s face, “Maddix came out of nowhere!” He didn’t; Maddix came from the arena floor, where he pulled Johnny out and rammed the Barracuda’s head into the steel ring post. He’s not the legal man however, but all it takes it a hand underneath Stephens shoulders and a half-lift, half-shove in the direction of Wildchild’s prone form… …and Stephens lands on top for something that approximates a pin. ONE! TWO!! Mike reaches out on instinct and tries to vaguely hook a leg. THREE!!! He didn’t need to. *DING-DING-DING!* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners,” Funyon booms, “and still SWF Tag Team Champions, Michael Stephens and Landon ‘La Cucaracha’ Maddix… THA… GAAAAAAAAAAA-LAC-TI-COOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!” “Wild & Dangerous came so close, so close!” Mak Francis shouts, “but Stephens and Maddix come away with the win yet again!” “That’s three times now!” Suicide King shoots back, “if Wimp & Dangermouse never get another title shot, it’ll be too soon!” “We’ll be in Sydney, Australia next week for From The Fire, where we’ll see Michael Stephens go up against Danny Williams while Landon Maddix tries to bring the Year of the Beast to a premature end,” Mak Francis says, “but for now, from Auckland, we’ve run out of time! For the Suicide King, this is ‘The Franchise’ Mak Francis saying goodbye… and WE’LL SEE YOU AT FROM THE FIRE!” The last shot of Storm shows Stephens and Maddix receiving their tag belts back from Matthew Kivell. Stephens claps Maddix on the back, but the faces of both men show little beyond relief. They’ve seen off Wild & Dangerous again, but both men know they cannot rest. They have big tests to come, and despite their presence as a team tonight, they must face these tests alone. FADE OUT © Superior Stretch Productions for Smartmarks Wrestling Federation 2007 ‘Raising Workrate By Typing Faster’

I downloaded it yesterday and didn't notice any spill onto anything else when I listened.