King Cucaracha

A very special, LIVE edition of The Love Shack! Yes! For reference, the set will be up all night, in the same position that the old school WWF interview stage would be, just to the right (as you look up the aisle) of the stage. Think of it as the usual talk-show set, a desk and a leather couch, I don't see as you'd need a big decription. But just know it's there. THIS WEEK'S SPECIAL GUESTS: BLACK T!! ALSO! The last Money In The Bank entrant will be announced. And it'll be announced why there's only 16 entrants now (maybe.) The lucky MITB entrant vs. Scotty Static

The ones they used for 20 (the opening part of "Touche" and then "Step Up") worked. I remember liking "Cocky" as a theme at one of the Rumbles (2002?) too. Armageddon was always a good one as well.

Not sure if it'd count, but Big Show/Akebono deserves at least a mention.

Holy crap! I'm not nor have I ever been a Monty Brown fan, but that was some Pounce. That'll end up in the highlight packages sooner or later, that's for sure.

Yeah, Myers/Bruce is currently AWOL. Has been for a few weeks, might be an idea not to book him for a while. Akira and Cross didn't even show for the Inferno Match? Jesus Christ, no wonder that State Of The SWF went up when it did, if certain people give that little of a shit.

COLE Well, right now we're glad to announce some GOOD news for you all. This past Saturday, OAOAST offices recived a fax... people still use fax machines? Uhm, anyway, they recieved a fax that they had been eagerly waiting on. Faxed notification of doctor's clearance to compete for "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez! Yes, we can now confirm, Leon Rodez WILL return to in-ring action for the first time in 5 months to go one on one with "The Urban Legend" Todd Cortez, in 10 days at AngleMania VI! Leon, looking to avenge the man who tried to break his neck after War Games at Syndicated last October, with that sickening Riot Act Plus on the two ring aprons. And once the match was set in stone, we sat down with Silky Smooth, to ask him just what competing at AngleMania this year will mean to him. Let's take a look. [i]~#######################~[/i] RODEZ We as wrestlers have a finite existance. One minute here, the next just a legacy. [i]"Look into my eyes And you will see What you mean to me"[/i] [QUOTE]Cortez, in a flash, lets go of Leon alright...but not before leaping over his back and bringing him back down to earth right on the top of his head, compressing his neck and spine as he drops him on the hard surface of the two ring aprons pushed together with the RIOT ACT PLUS~![/QUOTE] RODEZ Behind the spotlight, the pomp and the circumstance beats a human heart. That balance is one all too tenuous at times. One wrong move and it could be curtains, even on the best of nights. [i]"Such a heart Such a soul And when you find me there you'll search no more"[/i] [QUOTE]Cortez manages to roll away in the madness, with the GPX fighting through security to try and get at him, while Zack crawls over to Leon. Zack looks at him, and the cameras show a glazed look in Leon's eyes as he lays perfectly still. Malibu screams "HE'S NOT MOVING! SOMEONE HELP HIM, HE CAN'T MOVE!" as loud as he can, and time suddenly stands still. OAOAST staff stop worrying about everything and anything and rush to Leon's side, checking on him but being sure not to jar his body or move him in the slightest.[/QUOTE] RODEZ I missed ten months from my knee, five months from my neck. I know the risks I'm taking by stepping into the ring again so soon. [i]"Don't tell me, it's not worth tryin' for Can't tell me, it's not worth dying for"[/i] [QUOTE]Malibu walks to the wall of the cage and screams for a stretcher, shouting "WE NEED HELP OUT HERE! NOW!" as two more medics, wheeling a stretcher, and even Anglesault himself charge out from the back. Zack turns back to his friend, who is still motionless, while the camera cuts to a shot of The Wildcards, Maddix, and Megan, looking like they just stepped out of a car wreck...and HAPPY ABOUT IT.[/QUOTE] RODEZ You're in this business for the bright lights, the big shows. And when you talk about those things, there's no brighter lights than those at AngleMania. [i]"You know it's true Everything I do I do it for you"[/i] RODEZ Everything I've ever wanted in life, it comes down to this one date, this one place. There was never any way I'd miss it. [i]"Look into your heart And you will find There's nothing there to hide Just take me as I am Take my life I'll give it all I would sacrifice"[/i] [QUOTE]Well, I wouldn't. But, it IS a comeback, the triumphant return of LEON RODEZ, to a ROARING reaction from the Cleveland fans! "Mama Said Knock You Out" hasn't been heard in an OAOAST arena for nearly four months now and grooving along to it never felt so right, the song drawing on a little longer than usual before the curtains part and Leon, dressed in his street clothes of course, appears and freezes on the stage at the reaction! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"[/QUOTE] RODEZ I've been at AngleMania twice before. The magic is just the same as it was first time around, second time around. That magic is what fuels me. [i]"Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for I can't help it, there's nothing I want more"[/i] [QUOTE]In the ring, Rodez is celebrating his ring, as Rando and Supes are just now getting to their feet. They as well as K-Money clutch their necks, as they eventually get to their feet and begin to converge in the centre of the ring. Wasting no time, Rando hugs the victorious Rodez and raises one of his arms in the air. K-Money too shows his respect, shaking hands with Rodez, who checks if he's okay. Meanwhile, The Superstar doesn't seem best pleased at not winning on his one night return. But as Rodez walks over and extends a hand, he sighs and shakes to a HUGE cheer.[/QUOTE] RODEZ Sunday night, April 1st, in front of nearly 70,000 people it's about payback. It's about going 3 and 0 at AngleMania. But I've got just three goals. Walk in, try to put on the show of a lifetime and walk back out. [i]"You know it's true Everything I do I do it for you"[/i] [QUOTE]Rodez has a weak smile on his face. His body took a lot of punishment in the Ladder Match, but it was all worth it since Leon Rodez will go down in the record books as the man who ended the longest 24/7 Title reign in OAOAST history. “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J starts playing as Rodez continues holding PRL’s spinner 24/7 Championship belt in the air. Nick Soapdish enters the ring to raise Leon’s hands in the air. Tha Puerto Rican is lying on the mat, stunned that he just lost the belt he has held for almost a year now.[/QUOTE] RODEZ At the end of the night, I still want to have my health. But in the same breath, I don't want to disgrace myself. I want to do myself justice on the biggest stage of them all. [i]"There's no love Like your love And no other Could give more love"[/i] RODEZ Five months of frustration have boiled up inside of me. When that spotlight hits and 60,000 plus eyes rain down on me, it'll be tough to keep those kind of emotions in check. [i]"There's nowhere Unless you're there All the time All the way, yeeaahhh"[/i] RODEZ Is it a risk? Sure. [i]"You know it's true Everything I do"[/i] RODEZ When that bell rings, I'll know if it was worth it. [i]"Oh, I do it for you..."[/i]

The shot is that of the closed door to The Enterprise's locker room. Not exactly the most interesting thing in the world, but there ya go. One can only wonder what billion dollar deals are being conducted within that prominent chamber. Perhaps we'll be given an answer shortly, as the door swings open in a slow, cautious manner. Emerging from behind a tiny sliver of space is Jade Rodez, in khaki pants and red polo shirt. She looks around worriedly, concerned with who might have seen her. When she realizes she's been able to exit without being detected a sigh of relief leaves her lips. It's quickly overshadowed by a feeling of dread however when the exact last person Jade wished to see, Krista Isadora Duncan, is spotted strolling down the hall. Legs almost frozen in space, all Jade can attempt to do is cover up the powerful words of “The Enterprise” scribbled on the door. Krista seems to be preoccupied with a phone conversation...well, considering that's it's Krista, it's mostly her doing the talking, and the other person listening and chiming in with the occasional “God, you're so smart, Krista.” Krista sees Jade and smiles sweetly to one of her few friends in the OAOAST. She mouthes the word “Cameron” letting Jade know she's either on the phone with Cameron Diaz or San Diego Padres center fielder Mike Cameron. Safe money is on the former. But if the latter is reading, why u only hit .268 in 06 nigga? Dodgers in oh7 bitch whatchu kno about that? Zito n the giants ain't shIT. Bang bang skeet skeet on ya ho ass. KRISTA (on the phone) Yeah, so my baby sister Taylor, another woman in the family who doesn't have the gene that prevents you from completely fucking up the best years of your life, is getting married in a few weeks. I got asked to speak at a rally for gay marriage. You'd sooner get Anne Frank to lead Jews to a concentration camp. Let the straight people keep their institution misery. Marriage is like having cable, and only getting one channel, and that one channel is HBO and the only movie they show is Titanic. You gotta watch your ship sink every hour for the rest of your life. (suddenly hysterical) Take me with you, Leo! Don't leave me here to suffer alone! I can't take it no longer, lord! Save me, lord, save me! (suddenly not hysterical) My mom watches the videotape of her fourth wedding every night. Only in reverse. One day, I said "Mom, why do you keep watching it in reverse." She said "So I can see the bastard take the ring [i]off[/i] my finger." I don't know, maybe Taylor's time'll be different. Maybe she won't join the list of Duncan girls who have been screwed over by bloodsucking creeps. And maybe cows, fluent in six foreign languages will come flying out of my ass and discover the cure for all forms of cancer. Anyway, I should go. Bye, Cam! Krista slams her phone shut, ending her conversation with Miss Diaz. She turns a smiling face towards Jade, who can only look back with a nervous grimace. Why Jade just didn't leave while Krista was shooting (insider term!) on marriage, man, I don't know. That's wrestling for you. JADE Hi, Krista! Great to see you! KRISTA Hola, Senorita Rodez. What's going on? The innocent question causes Jade's face to erupt with a geyser of sweat that does not go unnoticed by Krissy's prying eyes. JADE Uhm, going on? Nothing is going on, nothing at all, I resent the implication that something is going on, because nothing is going on. Nothing at all! KRISTA Uh-huh. You're sweating pretty profusely, are you okay, darling? JADE Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be? I'm always okay. Always okay. That's me! Always okay Jade! That's what they called me in middle school. Ask my brother, he'll vouch! Yes he will. Uh-huh! KRISTA Had one not just finished off the entire contents of a beer bong, one might be aware enough of one's surroundings to surmise that you're either in the terrible depths of an ether binge or are hiding something. And you don't wanna hide something from your friend and confidant, Krista Isadora Duncan, do you? Especially when this friend happens to posses [i]two[/i] Masters degrees and a PhD. I can find anything, Jade, no matter how hard. If it's difficult, it'll take a day, impossible, it'll take a week. Why, I could sniff out the lost treasure of Atlantis, if I wasn't so afraid that prolonged exposure to water would make my beautiful tan skin all pruney and ugly. So, what are you hiding from me? JADE (scoffs unconvincingly) Hiding? Me? Nothing! I can't just stand in a suspicious position without drawing dirty looks? KRISTA You're cheating on your diet aren't you? I knew it! Jesus Christ in a Taxi Cab, Jade, I spent a whole two weeks designing that thing for you. I missed the finale of [i]Dancelife[/i] on MTV! Am I gonna have to get you one of those electric dog collars that'll shock you whenever you get near a McDonalds? Because I will. Welcome to the wonderful world of McDonald's how may I help you? Yes, I'd like a ZAAAAP! And a side of BUZZZZZZ! And an order of ZZZZZZT! Would you like anything to drink with your freshly charred corpse? Don't think my dietary methods are above that, you don't become a celebrity fitness queen without being ruthless. I'll do it faster than Alix's doctor can diagnois her with anorexia nervousa. JADE I didn't cheat on my diet, you said I could have one fudgecicle a week. KRISTA Then you're still hiding something. Krista tries to look behind Jade's back and she panics. Like, even more than before. Krista shrugs her shoulders and smirks, obviously having a bit of fun interrogating her secretive friend. Jade on the other hand is not enjoying herself and continues to pour beads of sweat. KRISTA Okay we can do this the hard way, the medium way, the easy way, or the medium-hard way, or the kind of hard-easy way with perhaps a sprinkle of medium dashed in for good measure. JADE Can't we just go gossip at the makeup table instead? KRISTA Easy-medium way with a dash of hard-below average medium it is. Jade is supremely shocked when Krista wraps her hands around her waist and foists her in the air. Before Jade knows it she's being shuffled away from the door she was guarding, and a frustrated groan comes from her mouth. Previously amused, Krista now looks outright disgusted as she eyes the lettering on the door. Her blazing blue eyes direct an icy stare upon a withering Jade. KRISTA E-N-T-E-R-P-R-I-S-E? Please tell me that's the way all the cool illiterate eighth grade dropouts are spelling D*LUX these days. JADE Uh, not quite. KRISTA Then do you mind telling your dearest friend who stays up on the phone with you until three AM in the morning listening to you fawn over Scotty Static because he smiled at you in the cafeteria, why you were just in the company of the OAOAST's equivalent of the third reich? Baking cupcakes with Himmler perhaps? JADE I was just signing the contract for the Blonds versus D*LUX match at Anglemania. That's it. Nothing else. KRISTA Ever heard of a fax machine? JADE A what? KRISTA Ever heard that The Enterprise is a gang of overpoweringly arrogant white elitist jackasses who should have their shrived up balls rammed down their throats, and who's only redeeming quality is that they're guaranteed to spend the next eternity and half roasting like chestnuts over hell's open fire? JADE (meekly) Krista, that's not... that true. I know you're not exactly on speaking terms with any of them. But, they were all perfect gentlemen when I was in there with them. Even Mackenzie, although technically she's not a gentlemen, but ya know, the point is that for all the mean things you've said about them they were actually really sweet. And Ned, I know you don't want to hear this, but he's not the same guy you hate so much. He's changed, I swear. He talks about politics, and music and culture. Hanging out with Moneymaker... it's changed him. For the better. KRISTA I can't believe those words just came out of your mouth. You're young and naive, so let the grizzled old she-wolf of the pack hip to you the way the world really is. If I've seen anything since watching Ned move through the criminal ranks of the The Enterprise it's that he's still the same bloodless, homophobic, racist, cocksucker he's always been. If anything he's more of vicious fuckhead now then he's been in all the years I've known him. JADE (softly) Krista you can't say things like that. KRISTA I'm old, I'm drunk, I'm gorgeous and I'm famous, a damn near lethal combination that allows me to say whatever the hell I want. God Bless America, our home sweet home. JADE If you just tried to get to know people better... I mean, weren't you and Alix gonna take Maya to a renaissance festival at UCLA this weekend? Why don't you invite Ned and Simon along? KRISTA Excellent idea, Jade! And perhaps I can hang myself from the maypole after the jousting exhibition. Jade simply shakes her head in sadness. JADE It was just a sugges... KRISTA Listen, amongst the spineless, calculating toadies like Christian Wright and Mackenzie DeCenzo, who ride Moneymaker's coattails to sweet jobs and fat contracts, Ned is the one guy who genuinely believes in the Enterprise's fountain of bullshit. Jade prepares a counterargument but Kris' authoritative tone silences her. KRISTA Ned and Moneymaker are the living breathing incarnation of what American “drive and fortitude” truly is, a spineless, slavish, power worshiping pursuit of the continual domination of all those who are perceived as “weaker” then they are. And people like Christopher Patrick Allen or Simon Singleton fall for The Enterprise's game. And it's easy to see why. The lies, the deceit, the misconceptions are all packaged into a shiny, glossy, easily digestible box. You act like you know what you're doing and people will eat up whatever you serve them. They'll crawl over smoking hot coals to eat wet dogshit, chase it down with a cup of piss, and then beg for more. You just can't ever flinch as you ladle it onto their plate. But Jade, you're so much better then that. If you have any backbone at all, have even a shred of decency, like I know you do underneath all that blissful ignorance, you won't play their game. MELODY (eavesdropping with Baron Windells from behind a potted plant) TELL EM WHY U MAD, DAWG After a quick look towards the surprise interruption, Jade looks Krista dead in the eye. Or, at least as dead in the eye as her trembling body will allow her. JADE I don't need you to read me the riot act for a contract signing that took all of three minutes! I'm a big girl, I can handle myself and I just [i]did[/i] handle myself without a lecture from you beforehand. If you want to guilt trip me, or sell me on your agenda, then do it. But don't do it over something that I haven't even done or isn't my fault! I appreciate that you care, but I don't need you to try and parent me every second of the day. I'm not Alix. KRISTA I just want you to... JADE Krista, I don't need you to want anything... KRISTA Okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry I bothered caring about you. Just please be careful, because when you back the wrong horse, you end up sharing the same bottle of glue. Krista walks away, not altogether pleased with the outcome of their conversation. Jade looks on in confusion because she never actually knew glue was made out of horses. Innocence lost?

This needs to be first, ie. before PRL/Reject. I think. ----------------------------------- *KA-CHING~!* "COME AND TAKE YOUR VITAMIN X!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys is greeted with the expected boos from the Sacramento crowd as the lights dim. Dollar signs superimpose over the aisleway as everybody's favourite Financial Consultant (which isn't saying much, nobody likes finance guys) comes shuffling through the entrance doors. Bobbing his head to the beat of his own tune, Vitamin X grins from ear to ear as Princess Stacey follows him out. The Princess holds her pinky finger aloft to the crowd, as X continues to Shane-O Shuffle around her. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Semi Final Match in the tournament to crown a new OAOAST X-Division Champion, with the winner advancing to the Finals at AngleMania VI! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by PRINCESS STACEY! From Miami, Florida... he weighs in at two hundred, fourty eight pounds. "THE PRINCE OF THE LIGHTNING CREW"... this is VVVIIIIIIIITTAAAAAAAMMMIIIIIIIIINN... XXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And what a huge opportunity for The Lightning Crew's Second In Command. Just one match, one victory away from a spot on the biggest show in OAOAST history, AngleMania VI. And a shot at becoming X-Division Champion, no less! COACH Oh, it's gonna be a glorious AngleMania Mikey! It's going to be an all Lightning Crew Final to crown that X-Division Champ. The Second In Command, the heir to the throne, Prince Vitamin and of course the head honcho, Tha Puerto Rican. You've gotta admit, that'd be one hell of a match. COLE It'd certainly be interesting, IF it comes to pass. COACH If? If schmif! Reject'll provide a tough test for PRL later I'm sure, but Vitamin X is as good as there! COLE ...schmif? Climbing into the ring, X exudes even more confidence than usual as he climbs the middle rope, crossing his arms over his head in an 'X'. Princess Stacey applauds in a ladylike fashion as X scales a second set of turnbuckles, making some weird hand motions that seem to be him acting out 'The Prince slaying The Dragon' with an imaginary sword. "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Vitamin X is pretty sure of himself. But even he knows those sort of reactions don't come his way often. And he's rightly suspicious, as the cheers aren't for him, but for the man striding down the aisle. CABOOSE! COLE Uh-oh! COACH Wait... what the hell? What the hell is he doing out here? COLE It looks like he's coming over to join us. First time in a long time and with any luck, it'll be just like the old days when you used to keep your mouth shut! As Vitamin X protests to referee Nick Patrick about Caboose's presence at ringside, the Englishman lugs his trusty cricket bat over to Sofa Central. The thud he makes when he drops it onto the announce table almost causing Coach to jump out of his skin, Caboose taking up his old position at the commentary position with an icy glare aimed at Vitamin X. "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" COLE Well, you can hear it partner, Sacramento's glad to have you back and so am I! CABOOSE The feeling's less than mutual. COACH #Memories, of the way we were# X continues to be distracted by Caboose despite the fact he's merely sitting and staring, Princess Stacey trying to get him to forget about him. Meanwhile, the clock begins to tick down as "Hung Up" by Madonna begins to play. A DDR stage hollogram replaces the dollar signs from earlier and as the song kicks up a gear, the strobes go into overdrive, illuminating The Dance Dance Dragon! Dragon and his scantily-clad backing dancers, wearing glowstick style belts, arm, wrist, thigh and anklebands proceed to bust a freakin' move as the crowd go wild! BUFFER And, his opponent! Hailing from Heaven's Dancefloor! He weighs in at one hundred, ninety nine pounds... "THE STRONG STYLE PARTY ANIMAL"... DANCE! DANCE! DDRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGOOOOOOOOOONN!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Dragon continues to dance down the aisle, working the crowd in Sacramento up through his fresh moves. Reaching into his bag of tricks (which is an actual bag, with proverbial tricks), Dragon then begins to distribute handfuls of multi-coloured glowsticks to the people! COLE Well, Dance Dance Dragon certainly the surprise package in this X-Division Title Tournament. He beat Ramone Juan Jesus Guetierez in the first round in 3 and a half minutes and then just last week, he advanced past Spanish Fly in just over 2 minutes! A run akin to Los Diablos De Fuego making it to the Anderson Cup Finals, if Dance Dance Dragon can upset Vitamin X tonight he'll be in the Final and within reach of his first championship. Into the ring slides Dragon, the glowsticks continuing to be waved even as the lights come back up. Vitamin X finally takes his attention away from Caboose, long enough to eye up Dragon. And burst out laughing. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Vitamin X, apparantly not impressed with Dance Dance Dragon. But he'd better be careful not to underestimate him, or he might be royally embarrassed tonight. If past form is anything to go by, Dragon may end this in less than a minute! COACH Royally embarrassed... heh, that's cute. Cause, the Prince thing. Listen Mikey, to estimate Dance Dance Dragon at all would be to over-estimate him. He's that insignificant. He fluked out once, he fluked out twice but tonight? Three strikes and he's OUT! COLE Well, let's not forget, Vitamin X needed the help of a can of mace and some brass knuckles to help him get past James Blonde and Longdogger Pete so far. COACH But he made it. That's all that matters now. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and X wastes little time, pointing a finger down at Caboose and telling him "I'll show you talent!" as he and Dragon begin to circle each other. Usually when you circle someone, you keep your eyes on them at all times though. Something which Prince Vitamin would be well served remembering for the future, as he gets shocked with a DDD schoolboy... 1... 2... 3- NOOOO!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, he nearly got him! So nearly another quick victory for Dragon! As soon as he kicks out, X goes scrambling out of the ring and kicks the ring skirt in frustration. Princess Stacey scuttles over to try and calm her sweet Prince down, as he glares at Caboose, who's stood up at Sofa Central and begun sarcastically applauding. CABOOSE Give this kid credit, he's improving day on day. He's [i]just about[/i] beaten his time in the Lethal Rumble this year, although it was a real close call. Congratulations Vit'. Vitamin X begins to jaw with Caboose from across ringside, not daring to get any closer than he already is, which is a good 15 feet away. Again he takes his eye off the action though and doesn't see Dance Dance Dragon, as he picks up a head of steam and runs across the ring. Off the far ropes, Dragon charges towards X and ducks his head, looking to go diving through the top and middle ropes with a topé... ...AND GETTING CUT OFF, as Vitamin X jumps to the apron and forearms him just as his head stretches out through the ropes!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There we go X! The Coach still believes in you! (meekly) Please don't hurt me. CABOOSE Don't tempt me. Climbing back onto the apron, X leaves Dragon hung up over the middle rope. And with a run-up down the apron, X lands a HARD kick to the side of the head, sending DDD slumping back into the ring. Typically, Vitamin X takes a moment to turn to the crowd and jaw with the fans before he finally follows into the ring to continue the assault. Dragon looks shaken and only makes it to his knees before X walks over, clubbing him over the back with a big forearm. A second big forearm follows. And a third, Prince Vitamin directing his attack towards the announce table before landing a fourth big strike. The sneer stretches right across X's face, dragging Dragon up by the mask and keeping one eye on Caboose at all times as he executes a Snap Suplex! "X SUCKS!" "X SUCKS!" "X SUCKS!" "X SUCKS!" Just to rub it in the face of everybody, X does the Shane O Mac Shuffle around the ring instead of following up on Triple D immediately. He waits until Dragon begins to climb back to his feet, before charging in with a big clothesline. COLE Caboose, last we saw of you was two weeks ago, you were beaten down by The Lightning Crew. I can't help but notice you've got your cricket bat well within reach, are you at all worried about The Lightning Crew trying to make a repeat of two weeks ago... and, for that matter, the week before. CABOOSE No, I brought it out here incase you started annoying me like the old days. And I'm beginning to feel pretty relieved that I did right about now. COLE *gulp* COACH So, you're not even the slightest bit worried that Prince Vitamin declared WAR on you three weeks ago? CABOOSE Let's just say, he wants to be careful what he starts, because history shows he's got a problem with finishing on top. Just ask The Parka. Or Otaku II. Or Colombian Heat. Vitamin X hits a scoop slam in the ring and backs off the ropes, dropping a simple knee to the head. Back off the ropes, X drops a second knee. The X-Man then looks at Dragon, deciding that he's knocked out and placing one solitary foot on his chest for a pin... 1... 2... No! Even after a one-footed pin, X decides the count wasn't fast enough for his liking and warns Nick Patrick to speed it up. X then drags Dragon back up, whipping him across the ring. The Bemani Bruiser hits the turnbuckles in one corner hard and Prince Vitamin follows right in after him with a clothesline in the buckles. Before he can fall, Dragon is pushed back up against the turnbuckles by X, who exits out onto the apron. With two handfuls of the mask, X then pulls back and SLAMS the back of Dragon's head against the top turnbuckle! And again! Again! Again, again, again and again, X with a frenzied attack that sees the back of DDD's head hit the turnbuckle at least 12 times before he's finally allowed to fall against the bottom turnbuckle! COLE Wow, you don't usually see that out of Vitamin X. A decided mean-streak in the self-proclaimed 'Prince'. COACH Well, what do you expect? [i]Certain[/i] people need to be shown that he's not someone you want to mess with. And Dance Dance Dragon is going to be the unfortunate message bearer for them. With Dragon woozy in the corner, X swaggers back into the ring and into the opposite corner from his opponent. If the last attack was vicious, then this is just going to be humiliating, X making the 'lowrider' motions with his hand. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" CABOOSE Oh yeah, that's a dangerous man right there. Once the crowd are worked up, Vitamin X runs the length of the ring. And before Dragon knows what's happening, X comes diving at him crotch first WITH THE BRONCO BUSTER!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" X rides the bronco for just a couple of seconds before climbing out of the corner and telling Caboose that "that was for you, old man!" That gets Caboose out of his seat, ready to get some payback on Prince Vitamin! But as Vitamin X dares him on, safe in the knowledge that any involvement from Caboose will get him a disqualification win, 'Boose manages to keep his cool and re-attach his headset. "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" As the chant goes up for Caboose, Vitamin X sneers out at the crowd, dragging Dragon out of the corner and to his feet. Vitamin X then goes on the attack with a right hand. Already there's a spring in the step and a little fancy footwork, as X lands a second punch. And, much to the crowd's dismay, X then does the Shane O Mac Shuffle... and connects with the final punch, taking DDD off his feet! COACH Haha, now that's how you dance, Dance Dance Dragon! Another arrogant cover follows, a hook of the leg accompanying it this time... 1... 2... No! Prince Vitamin shakes his head at the referee as he brings Triple D back to his feet quickly. Hooking the head, X twists Dragon right the way around until they're back to back, blowing a kiss to Princess Stacey before jarring the neck down with a Neckbreaker! COACH Rude Awakening Neckbreaker! That's what a real man looks like, right there, Vitamin X! X flips Dragon over and makes the lateral press... 1... 2... NO! Again X is unhappy with the referee, clearly not giving DDD much credit to have kicked out with a 'fair' count. CABOOSE This is this kid's problem. The ego. If things don't go his way, it must be someone else's fault because he's 'flawless'. Life doesn't work like that. Back up, Vitamin X snapmares over. Taking a couple of quick steps back, X then delivers a dropkick to the back of Dragon's head, whiplashing the neck and leaving DDD prone for the cover... 1... 2... NO! Dragon remains down after the kickout, Vitamin X lording it over him arrogantly. After a couple of cocky kicks out at the head, X suddenly has to call for a timeout. Winded all of a sudden, X exits the ring with a distinct lack of respect for Dance Dance Dragon in order to take a breather. Princess Stacey quickly scuttles over to give her man a quick massage, loosening up his shoulders a little bit. She then hands X a water bottle, the thirst quenched Vitamin X thanking his Princess for her assistance. X then looks at the rest of the bottle, as if unsure of what to do with it... ...BEFORE TURNING ON HIS HEELS AND SOAKING CABOOSE!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" CABOOSE Sunnuva... Caboose stands up and pissed off, grabbing his cricket bat as Vitamin X goes rushing across the other side of the ring. "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" Michael Cole quickly stands up and tries to hold Caboose back, trying to convince him to calm down as it threatens to break down on the floor. He too is soaked with water, X heard giggling away off camera as Caboose angrily throws his headset down and wipes water from his eyes. COACH Uhm... I guess we're gonna have to take a break. Shame, I like it when my headset's the only one that works. [b]*Commercial Break*[/b] Back from the break and in time tested tradition, we return in the middle of a chinlock. Vitamin X wrenches away at Dance Dance Dragon's neck, with the crowd already in the midst of trying to rally behind Dragon with some rhythmic clapping. COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and thankfully, we've got our equipment working again. And thankfully we've got some order restored here too, Vitamin X finally realising he's in an important tournament Semi Final here against The Dance Dance Dragon. COACH And let's hope that's the end of it. We don't need you causing anymore trouble out here, 'Boose. CABOOSE I'm one step away from driving this bat up your ars... COLE Dance Dance Dragon showing some fight here!! Climbing back to his feet, Dragon is compelled to move his feet to the beat of the crowd's clapping. X looks stunned at what's going on, holding firm to the chinlock but suddenly finding an elbow driven into his gut! And a second! Dragon finds himself free of the chinlock and quickly runs to the ropes... ...but CRASHES right to the canvas, as Vitamin X manages to hang on to the back of the mask! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Nick Patrick warns X about pulling the mask, but he doesn't seem to know what he's talking about and innocently makes the cover... 1... 2... NO! Angered by yet another kickout, X takes his frustrations out on Triple D with a simple and very blatant choke! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Saving himself from a DQ, X releases the choke on four. He then risks a DQ again by pushing Nick Patrick out of his way on his way back to his feet, clearly getting a little irritated that Dragon is putting up this much of a fight. Bending down, Prince Vitamin paintbrushes DDD across the face with a slap! And back the other way with a backhand slap, X talking trash to The Bemani Bruiser. That seems to fire the Dragon up and he suddenly kicks out at X. He manages to brush the kick off though, stomping DDD hard in the head to quell that fire that was building up before turning to the hard camera and performing THE RUNNING MAN~! to mock Triple D! So bad is it that the only person mocked by it would be the actual inventor of the dance and possibly Prince Vitamin's close friends and family. That doesn't stop him from bowing after his little performance, applauded by Princess Stacey on the outside. COACH You've gotta love Prince Vitamin. He's not one of those stuffy royal types, he's down with the kids. He's hip, he's fly, he's happening. COLE He's a goofball. CABOOSE Good news! Because, this bat doesn't just knock cricket balls for six. Finally getting his head back in the game, Vitamin X shoots Dragon off into the ropes with an irish whip. Showing an impressive standing leap, X then times the rebound and connects with a Spinning Back Elbow, cutting Triple D right off his feet! And he comes up onto one knee, arrogantly posing after his showy move. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Perhaps X has learnt his lesson by now, as he doesn't go for a pin this time. Instead he looks ready to put an actual finish touch on the match, as he sets Dragon up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...by landing a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. However, what they were a prelude to we'll never know, as Prince Vitamin suddenly realises that DDD isn't nicknamed The Strong Style Party Animal just because it's awesome... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...as he retaliates in kind... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with two knifedges of his own... COLE Here we go... ...but MISSES an Enziguri, X able to duck his head just in time to avoid the kick! The crowd instantly deflate, after building up a little bit of hope after Triple D's short show of fight, X quickly capitalises on Dragon with a quick boot to the gut. Taking a U-turn, X then vaults onto the middle rope and springboards back, dropping Dragon down with a DDT on the way back! COACH The X Spot! What resiliance from Prince Vitamin! CABOOSE Resiliance!? He took two chops! Dragon is motionless after yet another hard landing on the back of his head and gets flipped over by Prince Vitamin, signalling to the world that it's 'ovah~!' as he hooks him up with the pin... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Stunned at not getting the three, X sits bolt upright. Slamming his fists into the canvas he storms to his feet, grabbing Nick Patrick by the collar and reading him the riot act. Until, that is, Patrick warns him to keep the hands off the merchandise or risk getting disqualified which gets X off of him in a hurry. "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" CABOOSE I don't know what this kid is so amped up about. He's got the match going his way, Dragon's still hurt. All he's doing is giving him time to recover and giving these people a good reason to get behind him. COLE Impatience being shown by Vitamin X here. As Dragon uses the ropes to pull himself up, X clenches his fist and prepares to strike. As he runs in at Dragon though, The Masked Dance Assassin gains enough of his bearings to lean back, throw up his boot and catch X coming in with a kick to the jaw! Prince Vitamin goes staggering backwards and Dragon comes charging off of the ropes, ducking underneath a wild swing from Vitamin X. Quickly X turns around and extends his arm, looking to catch Dragon on the way back with a Hiptoss. But in mid-air Dragon turns into the move, hooking the head and countering it with a HUGE DDT that SPIKES Prince Vitamin on his head!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE OH! He got him, he got him! COACH NO! After that tide-turning move, Dragon frantically scrambles on top of X, Princess Stacey watching on in shock as Patrick slides over... 1... 2... NO!! The crowd groan, Stacey groaning too but in relief as she was sure her Prince had been overthrown. COLE Oh! So, so close, Dance Dance Dragon almost scored another sudden upset right there! COACH That's the resiliance right there 'Boose! Poor Prince Vitamin got driven down like a tent-post, right on his head but he still had the heart and the determination to kick out! CABOOSE Oh, get a room with him wouldya? Growling from under his mask, Dragon has gotten his second wind and crouches as he waits for Vitamin X to get back up. X hauls himself slowly to his feet, favouring his neck as he gets unsteadily to his knees. He then turns around, right into a boot to the gut. With X doubled over, Dragon turns himself back to back and hooks up the arms, looking for the NEWBIE KILLER... but X manages to use his hands to lever Dragon up onto his shoulders, into an Electric Chair! Still a little unsteady, Prince Vitamin walks DDD around the ring in the Electric Chair, just waiting to throw the switch. However, Dragon starts to twist and turn, making life uncomfortable for X before tilting forward for a Victory Rol...NO! X sits into the move... 1... X GRABS THE ROPES!! COLE HEY!! HEY!! 2... COLE NOT LIKE THIS!! 3- NOOOO!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well thank goodness that wasn't three! Vitamin X was all over the ropes like white on rice. CABOOSE Or white on you. COACH Oh burn! X pulls himself up and hits the ropes, as Dragon follows. A back elbow misses the mark, X sweeping underneath the arm and bouncing off the opposite side. This time it's Dragon with the evasive manoeuvre, leapfrogging over Prince Vitamin. X rebounds again and Dragon goes up again with a leapfrog. However, X puts on the brakes against the ropes, causing DDD to mistime. And as soon as Dragon lands, X mows him down with a Spear! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Turning towards the announce table, Prince Vitamin points to Caboose and with a smile on his face he signals for the end. COACH Alright! Vitamin X about to put an X-Clamation Point on this match! Catching Dragon coming in, Vitamin X goes low with a forearm. Not too low, keeping it above the waistline which Nick Patrick confirms to the timekeeper's table as X ducks his head in and hoists Dragon across his shoulders in a Torture Rack. Getting his bearings, X then spins towards the centre of the ring, not taking any risks... *THUD!* ...except the risk of Dance Dance Dragon's foot CLOCKING NICK PATRICK as he turns!! COLE Oh, down goes the referee! CABOOSE What, did somebody sneeze? What the hell? As Patrick drops to the canvas like a sack of potatoes, X is forced to drop Dragon to see what just happened. That allows Dragon a moment to recover, aiming for X's head with a Lariat. But X again cuts him off, this time with a kick below the belt!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dragon doubles over, holding his disco balls from the kick. And with Patrick to count or without him, X hoists DDD back up into the Torture Rack, making less of a show about throwing him off the shoulders and down into the Neckbreaker! The X-Clamation Point! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There's the X-Clamation Point! And there's no better way to end something than with an X-Clamation Point! COLE But the referee is still down here, there's no-one to count. COACH Don't worry, I've got Thomas Rdoriguez's pager number, give me one seco... As a pager goes hurtling through the air and deep into the crowd, Vitamin X forgets himself for a moment and drops down for the pin. Princess Stacey slams her fists on the apron and gets X's attention, reminding him that there's no-one to count. And X curses his luck, crawling over and shaking Nick Patrick. Not shaking him back to life though, much to Prince Vitamin's frustrations. COACH Vitamin X should be going to AngleMania! He's got the match won! X stomps around with hands on hips, wondering what to do. With DDD still motionless, he decides the best course of action is to leave the ring and head up top, to add a Leap Faith just to be sure of the victory. After all, who knows how long it'll take the OAOAST's crack refereeing staff to send a replacement out for Patrick. X scales the turnbuckles, heading to the top, as Dragon is still down. CABOOSE Excuse me a second. COLE Wha... wait, 'Boose, where are you going? COACH HEY! The Sacramento crowd rise to their feet just as Vitamin X does on the top rope. Little does he know that they're not up for the expected high-risk manoeuvre, but because Caboose has left the announce position. With cricket bat in hand, Caboose jumps up to the apron, X not seeing him until it's too late... *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Caboose clubs Vitamin X in the back with the cricket bat and The Second In Command of The Lightning Crew goes flying off the top rope, doing a full front-flip on his way plummeting to the canvas! Up in arms, Princess Stacey screams for help for her man, as Caboose drops off the apron, grabbing hold of the prone X-Man's trailing leg and drags him out by the sneaker. COLE Caboose is gonna dish out a little bit of payback right here! COACH This is ridiculous! Get somebody out here, this isn't right! Grabbing hold of X's baseball jersey with his free hand, Caboose manhandles X to his feet, shoves him up against the ring apron and takes aim. *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRICKET BAT TO THE GUT! *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRICKET BAT TO THE CHEST! *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRICKET BAT TO THE GUT AGAIN! COACH OH GOD, STOP!! *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRICKET BAT OVER THE SHOULDER, X dragged right back up to his feet again... *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRICKET BAT TO THE GUT, AGAIN! COLE My God, Vitamin X is getting beaten black and blue with that cricket bat! What a vicious assault!! X, his body getting thrown around like laundry in a tumble dryer, finally comes to a stop and slumps over the apron as Caboose finally stops swinging with his weapon. By the now half-unbuttoned, roughed up baseball jersey, Caboose dumps X's carcass back in underneath the bottom rope and dusts his hands. Across the ring, Princess Stacey is in SHOCK, her Prince turned into a human pináta in front of her very eyes. "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" COLE I think Vitamin X just found out what happens when you start a war with the English! COACH This is totally unfair! Prince Vitamin has been... has been... assaulted! That was GBH if ever I saw it! Caboose just beat him with that damn stick like the LAPD beat the homeless and that's not RIGHT! Job done, Caboose walks off with the cricket bat flung over his shoulder, not taking a second look back as he walks up the aisle. Back in the ring meanwhile, referee Nick Patrick has finally shaken himself back to his senses and uses the ropes to help himself up. He's none the wiser to what just happened, looking up to see Vitamin X prone on the canvas and Dance Dance Dragon slowly reaching his feet. The Strong Style Party Animal looks up at Caboose, before his head turns to the motionless X. COACH Wait... don't tell me this match is still going. COLE Of course it is Coach. COACH No... NO, X can't continue! The Prince needs medical assistance, this match should be over and Dragon disqualified! But it's not. And as Nick Patrick is hysterically given an explanation as to what happened from Princess Stacey, Dragon jogs across the ring as best he can. Stopping at X's body, Dragon busts a few moves DDR style, before dropping the big DDR ElboWii COACH No, this can't be happening! COLE Believe it Coach! It's happening, it's happening! As the crowd go wild in the background, Dragon dives on top of X. He needn't really hook a leg, X is barely conscious. But he does anyway, as Patrick drops... 1... 2... COACH KICK PRINCE, KIIIIICK!! 3!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH NOOO!! COLE YES! YES! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES~! "Hung Up" powers through the arena and the crowd are going NUTS as Dragon, scarsely able to believe it himself, checks that it was three before dropping to his knees in celebration! Princess Stacey is beside herself on the floor, head in hands and close to tears! Watching all this from the stage is Caboose, a big smile on his face as he looks over his cricket bat carrying shoulder and nods his head in satisfaction. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... advancing to the FINALS of the X-Division Title Tournament... THE DANCE! DANCE! DDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR - AAAAAAAGGOOOOOOOOOOOOONN!!!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Dragon sits on his knees and looks to the heavens, his face emotionless (he's wearing a mask, remember) but his body anything but! Rolling out of the ring, Dragon dances a little before embracing his Sacramento fans in the front row, while Princess Stacey tries to revive her Prince in the ring. COLE Unbelievable! Against all the odds, against all expectations, Dragon has done it! Who would have dared guess it a couple of months ago!? Dance Dance Dragon... is going... TO ANGLEMANIA!!! COACH What a miscarriage of justice! I've never seen anything like it in my life, Vitamin X was beaten within an inch of his life by Caboose with a cricket bat... if that happened on the streets, 'Boose would be going away for a long time! He'd be in the slammer, that was GBH! That was damn near MURDER! I... I am in SHOCK! This is a travesty! COLE Caboose played his part, but the fact is, Dance Dance Dragon is in the Finals of the X-Division Title Tournament! He is going to AngleMania VI to challenge for the OAOAST X-Division Championship, against either Tha Puerto Rican or Reject, in what will be without doubt the biggest match of his life! What a moment! COACH How can you condone what just happened!? COLE Hey, paybacks are a bitch, what can I say? Still poor Vitamin is down in the ring, Stacey cradling him in his arms and shooting a death glare at Dance Dance Dragon as he exits with even more of a skip in his step then usual. He's going to AngleMania, the world's biggest dance stage! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!"

COLE As you know, one of the marquee attractions at AngleMania in 10 days time will be the 20 Man Money In The Bank Battle Royal. One man will come out of AngleMania with a guaranteed shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, to be cashed in any time within the next year. And as of right now, we have fifteen confirmed entrants. As we told you last week, already confirmed are Landon Maddix, Bohemoth, The Global Party Exchange, Jamie O'Hara, Brock Ausstin, Tony Brannigan and Dan Black of Black T, Christopher Patrick Allen, The Cuban Wall and Colombian Heat. And we have some new additions to that list. The HI-YAH World Champion Faqu will be involved, as will Spanish Fly and the SWF's Bloodshed. And courtesy of some pressure from... certain groups... Abdullah Abir Nerdly, the adopted child of the Nerdly family, represents the country of Syria! COACH I think I dated a chick called that once. COLE Way to go with the cultural tolerance there, Coach COACH Hey, she was Latino. COLE In any event, we're reliably informed that there'll be a special qualifying match to determine two of the last five places in that Money In The Bank Battle Royal, here on HeldDOWN~! next week. More details next week and we hope to confirm the other four entrants also. For tonight though, two Money In The Bank entrants are set to go at it as the 24/7 Champion Bohemoth defends against Jamie O'Hara. Two weeks ago, these two exchanged words before they teamed together in an impromptu tag team match. And came out victorious. But after the match, Bohemoth sent a clear message to O'Hara by pitching him out of the ring, over the top rope to the floor. Let's take a look. V.O. And now, the OAOAST BACKTRACKER, brought to you by Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties! "Taste The Psychadelic Rainbow!" [QUOTE]After a quick detour, in order to clothesline Marcellus Wallace and send him spiralling to the outside, Bohemoth then turns back to Santana, who by this time has labouriously managed to get back to his knees. Which isn't good enough for the 24/7 Champion, scooping Vinny up into his arms and parading him briefly, before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! As O'Hara keeps guard, Bo makes the pin... 1... 2... 3!!!! And that's all (s)he wrote! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winners of the match... the team of JAMIE O'HARA and the OAOAST 24/7 Champion... BBOOOOO - HHEEEEEEMMOOOOOTTHHHH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth pushes back to his feet and smirks down at Santana, his arm raised in victory by Nick Patrick. A hand suddenly slaps him on the back though and he turns around to see Jamie O'Hara standing in front of him, saying something which isn't quite audible over the sounds of "Liberate". COLE Jamie O'Hara and Bohemoth, 2 and 0 as a tag team even if the first one was about a year and a half ago. COACH And it might be another year and a half before they team again. COLE Well, they had words earlier. And... I can't tell if Jamie O'Hara is congratulating the 24/7 Champion or badmouthing him. As the 'discussion' goes on between the victors, O'Hara seems to be getting more and more animated. Bo just looks at him at first, but pretty soon fingers are being pointed. Until, from out of nowhere, Bohemoth has had enough and BOOTS O'HARA IN THE GUT!! As if on cue the music cuts, as Bohemoth quickly grabs Jamie by the head, the seat of his pants, runs him across the ring and sends him flying, over the top rope and to the arena floor!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAH - BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Liberate" strikes up again as O'Hara lies in a heap on the floor, Bohemoth barely showing any emotion either way as he takes his 24/7 Championship and walks off.[/QUOTE] COACH Yet another example of Jamie O'Hara's mouth getting him into trouble. Hard to believe we used to roll. COLE I have no idea what that means, but I'll assume it was a lie anyway. So Bohemoth and Jamie O'Hara's run as a team came to a rather abrupt end. And instead, they will take each other on one on one here tonight. The OAOAST 24/7 Championship IS on the line in this one by the way, which I guess is a given as the title is on the line 24/7. But, this is an official title defence. "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" The pumping beats of "Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal pound through the arena and through the sliding entrance doors swaggers Jamie O'Hara. The Birmingham Bad Boy jaws away at no-one or no-thing in particular as the marches down the aisle, brash as ever. As he reaches the end of the aisle, O'Hara gets in the face of the camera and points out the lingering cut on his lip, caused by Bohemoth two weeks ago. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship! Introducing first, the challenger. Hailing from Birmingham, England... he weighs in at one hundred and seventy pounds. Representing THE HOOLIGANS... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" O'Hara vaults into the ring and talks 'that smack', again not in any particular direction. Infact the Sacramento crowd are cheering for him so he doesn't really have need to jaw at them. COLE You see, O'Hara with a fat lip there, something to remember Bohemoth by. The cut was caused by that pitching out by Bohemoth two weeks ago and ever since, O'Hara has been suffering. He told me in the back earlier, that that cut has been re-opened pretty much every time he's stepped into a ring on the OAOAST live event circuit since. And he's getting mighty sick of it. In the ring, O'Hara hops around impatiently... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...as "Liberate" powers out into the Sacramento sky! The doors part again and through them marches the 24/7 Champion, Bohemoth, belt flung over his shoulder as he makes his entrance to a roaring reception. Bo pauses, lowering his orange-tinted sunglasses briefly before striding on towards the scrawny Brit daring him on. BUFFER And, on his way to the ring the opponent! Hailing from Greenville, South Carolina and weighing two hundred and eighty four pounds... the reigning and defending OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPION... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEEEEMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Making light work of the aisleway, Bohemoth jogs up the ring steps and pulls off his trusty orange shades. One lucky fan has a killer eBay item as they get flicked out into the crowd by the giving Meterosexual Monster (don't worry, he's got hundreds of pairs), being more careful with his one of a kind 24/7 Championship as he passes it to referee Mike Chioda. After a quick limbering up process, Bo then makes to enter the ring... ...and as SOON as Bo takes his eyes off of O'Hara, he charges and dropkicks him through the middle rope which sends him clattering to the arena floor! COLE And a quick start from O'Hara, that's what he has to do tonight. He can't stand toe to toe with Bohemoth! *DINGDINGDING!* Pulling himself up on the outside, Bohemoth loosens out his elbow after an awkward landing on the floor. And that momentary pause proves costly, as O'Hara is already airborne, springboarding to the top AND SPIRALLING TO THE FLOOR WITH A CORKSCREW DIVE!!! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" COLE UNBELIEVABLE!! COACH I have no idea what you'd call that, but it was impressive, that's for sure! Both men are down after that jawdropping dive. Naturally, O'Hara is on top though and manages to position himself on top of Bohemoth with a cover, falls counting anywhere where the 24/7 Title is concerned... 1... 2... NO! Picking himself up beside the barricade, O'Hara tries to keep Bohemoth down with some stomps. Bo begins to climb back up even despite the Nikey trainers raining down across his head, so O'Hara changes tactic. He climbs onto the ring apron and waits for Bo to turn towards him, getting a little run-up before tumbling off with a cannonball... CAUGHT! Bohemoth catches the 170 pounder like he was nothing, deadlifting him up into Powerbomb position AND THROWING HIM BACK-FIRST INTO THE RING APRON!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, MY! Powerbomb into the ring apron! COACH NOT COOL! O'Hara's spine bends over the ring apron before he falls face-first to the ringside padding! The Birmingham Bad Boy is left nursing pretty much all of his body, as the 24/7 Champion stands over him. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" COLE Bohemoth is not playing around here tonight. COACH Apparantly not. COLE The 24/7 Champion is sending out another clear message, or so it would seem, that he is the man to fear in the Money In The Bank Battle Royal in 10 days time! Eventually Bo grabs hold of O'Hara's loose fitting vest top and hauls him off the canvas. Holding him by the back of the head, Bohemoth drags O'Hara around ringside and aims him at the guardrail, throwing him forward. O'Hara clips the steel in such a way that flips completely over the rail and ends up in a heap on the other side, the front row fans getting an up-close look at the action. Bo follows after O'Hara, pulling him up from the opposite side of the barricade. But he doesn't count on The Birmingham Bad Boy having enough left in him to cradle the Champion's head and drop, hanging Bo up throat-first across the steel guardrail!! COLE One thing you can't doubt about O'Hara, he's tough. COACH That's right. He's like a human Stretch Armstrong, you can twist him and contort him all day and like rubber he'll snap back to his original form. Eventually. COLE That wasn't what I meant, but nevermind. Coughing and spluttering for air, clearly that move has done some damage to Bohemoth's airways, temporarily or otherwise. That gives O'Hara the time to drag himself back up, still nursing his back as he climbs back over to ringside. Quick as a flash, or a flash that's been powerbombed into a ring apron at least, O'Hara then runs across ringside and leaps up with a forearm strike. Bohemoth is forced back a couple of steps and O'Hara comes in with another forearm. And a third time he fends Bo back, pushing him up against one set of ring steps. With the Champion sat on the top step, O'Hara then shoves various hangers-on out of his way as he snatches a length of television cable AND WINDS OUT AROUND BOHEMOTH'S THROAT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE O'Hara trying to choke Bohemoth out... and, it looks from this vantage point like Jamie is bleeding. I think that cut on his bottom lip has been re-opened! Blood is indeed coming from O'Hara's mouth as he climbs the ring steps for a better leverage point to choke away on Bo. As the cable tightens around his windpipe, Bohemoth panics. Big as he is, even he can only stay conscious for so long in this situation. Quickly he fires back an elbow... and a second... and a third, until O'Hara slumps forward. Right over Bohemoth's shoulder... COLE WATCH OUT!! *THUD!* ...AND HE GETS CARRIED FORWARD AND SNAKE-EYED ACROSS THE EDGE OF THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bo drops to one knee gasping for air, as O'Hara lies facedown in front of the announce table, not moving. Manging to unwrap the cable from around him, The Meterosexual Monster turns O'Hara over and decides to go for a cover. COLE Right out in front of us... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE No, only a two count! Jamie O'Hara got lawndarted right into our announce table and it didn't give an inch, but still he kicked out! The fight now heads back to the ring, as Bohemoth throws O'Hara back inside and follows up the steps. Bo climbs in safely this time and drags O'Hara up by the wrist, sending him flying off into the ropes. Back rebounds O'Hara, unable to stop himself before he runs right into a mouthful of Big Boot from the 24/7 Champion! And he follows up with a lateral press... 1... 2... NO! Keeping O'Hara pressed to the canvas, Bo looks to follow up with a big elbow drop. O'Hara eeks himself out of the way though and Bohemoth hits nothing but canvas, again bumping his funny bone which gives him some serious discomfort as he tries to beat O'Hara to his feet. He manages it, but as he goes to grab O'Hara, SuperJay crawls through his legs and escapes, jogging into a corner and backing in. Bo takes a moment to find him, but as soon as he does he wastes not time following in... ...right into a boot to the face! COLE And now O'Hara beginning to hit and move again. This is what he has to do with Bohemoth, try and out-manoeuvre the bigman. As Bohemoth goes staggering backwards, O'Hara hops up to the middle rope. And he waits until the Champion is within range before tumbling off the turnbuckle, hooking Bo's head on his way over with a Blockbuster! COACH Oh, SNAP! COLE All momentum there to drive the big two hundred, eighty pounder to the canvas! O'Hara lands on his tailbone, but shakes it off to dive back on top with a cover... 1... 2... NO! Shocked at the force of the kickout and the fact he finds himself on his feet immediately from it, O'Hara goes back to laying in some simple stomps. Bo manages to find room to reach out and push O'Hara away though, The Birmingham Bad Boy sent tumbling backwards. He rolls through and comes up to his feet, rushing at Bohemoth before he can regain his footing. Or, so he thinks. *WHAM!* COLE SPINEBUSTAAAAAAHHHHHHHH~! O'Hara lays splayed out on the canvas as Bo pops right back to his feet and looks around the Sacramento crowd, eyes wide as he comes to a stop. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The end may be nigh! Reaching down, Bohemoth grabs a handful of vest top and starts to lift the lifeless Birmingham Bad Boy back off of the canvas. But suddenly, his eye is taken as LANDON MADDIX slides into the ring and jumps him from the blindside!! The crowd quickly let La Cucaracha have it, before finding themselves forced to share some of the hate around as he has come with back-up, in the form of BLOODSHED!! COLE What the hell!? Maddix and Bloodshed, two more of the Money In The Bank participants... this is breaking down before our very eyes! Maddix and Bloodshed combined are enough to beat Bohemoth down to his knees, Landon happy to let Bloodshed keep the attack up while he puts the boots to O'Hara! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" The crowd typically let the SWF combination have it, with both barrels. Bloodshed digs his fingers into the eye sockets of the 24/7 Champion while Landon continues to stomp away on the already prone O'Hara, fending off the complaints of referee Chioda. But suddenly, the mood in the arena changes and the crowd start to cheer as THE GLOBAL PARTY EXCHANGE dive into the ring for the save!! COLE Oh man, chaos has ensued here! The GPX are here to help their Hooligan bretheren out. COACH Not to mention get their hands on Maddix and Bloodshed again, never tire of that! Scotty Static quickly tackles Landon to the floor and mounts him with some frenzied punches, while Jax nails Bloodshed from behind. Peeling him away from Bohemoth, Jax starts to lay into Bloodshed with a succession of right hands. Meanwhile, Static continues to beat away at Maddix. But all of a sudden, the ring fills up even more as SPANISH FLY and COLOMBIAN HEAT join the fray! The former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions pair off on no-one in particular, getting themselves a piece of whoever steps in range. COLE We're getting a preview of Money In The Bank, 10 days early!! It's chaos as the eight men in the ring do battle. Or, seven, at least until Bohemoth climbs back up and WIPES OUT Spanish Fly and Johnny Jax with a double clothesline!! Meanwhile, Landon Maddix grabs Scotty Static and sends him up and over the top rope, dusting his hands and beginning to boast about his imminent Money In The Bank success. Until, that is, Colombian Heat sends him flying out of the ring! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Heat soon follows, chaos continuing to ensue as Bohemoth has had ENOUGH! After Heat is gone, Bo turns his attentions to Johnny Jax and sends him for the ride! Spanish Fly takes the ride moments later, Bloodshed trying to run Bo from behind but getting BACKDROPPED over the top and to the floor! Which just leaves Jamie O'Hara, Bohemoth picking The Birmingham Bad Boy up and depositing him over the top as well! COLE Look at this! Bohemoth, standing tall! Will this be the scene at AngleMania VI in 10 da... *CRACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Suddenly though, just as it seems Bo has cleaned house, he goes down courtesy of a chair to the spine from TONY BRANNIGAN! The crowd are stunned as DAN BLACK joins his Black T partner in the ring. And together, Black and Brannigan grab a hold of Bohemoth by the head and by the tights, running him to the ropes... ...OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Quiet" by The Smashing Pumpkins hits as Black T are now left alone in the ring. Bodies are strewn around ringside as the OAOAST's most recognisable team look around the Sacramento crowd. Message sent. COACH Just like that, Tony Brannigan and Dan Black just put everyone in their place! AngleMania is their stage and who'd bet against one of them, maybe both, winning the Money In The Bank contract? COLE They can't both win Coach. But, you'd better believe Black T have set their stall out here tonight! Money In The Bank Battle Royal, 10 Days away at AngleMania VI!

Can't see a Wrestlemania as such, no, and the problems with time difference do cause problems with other events. Just from memory, SS92 started getting dark-ish around half-way through, which would have been, I guess, 10pm-ish UK time. Still amazed SS92 sold out as well as it did, given the lack of WWF coverage in the UK at the time - thought as you suggest, those days of huge crowds are gone. Perhaps when the global territory system starts... Well, back then they didn't tour the UK nearly so much, so I guess it was a case of 'once in a lifetime' attendance. Plus, back then, there was Davey Boy, I vaguely remember being all over TV for a few weeks as a kid which I assume was that time frame. And it was the kayabe era still. I think it started to get dark during the Crush match, which was about the middle of the card. Old Wembley was such a great setting. I wonder, with the re-positioning of the tunnel, if it'd be the same if by any chance it happened again. The super-long aisleway always sells me on that WrestleMania feeling, even more so than the stadium itself. Just not the same when the aisle isn't any longer than a typical RAW.

Sacramento, California, unless anything changed while I wasn't looking. X-Division Title Tournament Semi-Final Vitamin X vs. Dance Dance Dragon 24/7 Championship Bohemoth © vs. Jamie O'Hara Plus a video package regading Leon Rodez which may or may not play. We'll see. Does AngleMania have an actual theme song yet? If it fits, I could use that maybe. EDIT: And by "may or may not play", I mean it might not make sense, not that I'll be making an actual video and trying to play it. I'm adventurous but I'm not stupid.

Pontiac 9, 12, 3, 2 Atlantic City 1, 4, 3, 2 Toronto 1, 13, 14, 2 New York City 1, 4, 6, 7 Houston 8, 12, 6, 7 Seattle 8, 12, 6, 2 Chicago 1, 5, 6, 2 Anaheim 1, 5, 3, 2

All this talk of TNA. TNA will be dead by the time WrestleMania comes around blah blah Russo blah blah Jarrett blah. (Somebody had to say it. And HTQ never seems to post outside TNA folder anymore. ) Perhaps they'll have Summerslam, etc, back at the new Wembley Stadium in the next few years. Retractable roof and 90,000 seats...could put the WMIII bullshit to bed once and for all! The odds of WWE having a WrestleMania live from England are, sadly, slim. I forget how they got around time difference for Summerslam '92, but there must have been some sort of a sacrifice one way or another. Which is why it hasn't happened since. New Wembley would be a hell of a venue though, even though I doubt they'd sell it out or get a crowd the likes of SS 92.

*beep-beep-beep-beep* *buzzzzz…* *buzzzzz…* *…buzzzzz!* Darkness. Opening her eyes, all Megan Skye can notice about her current location is the darkness. She blinks, trying to discern something other than bleak shadows and an enclosed space, but is pretty much unsuccessful. All she can see… is darkness. Skye’s phone, which has awakened her from unconsciousness begins to play a melody her groggy brain can’t decipher right now… she should know it, considering she picked the damn thing, but that thought is interrupted by the realization that she can’t move her arms very well. Megan rolls onto her shoulder and feels her blonde locks matted down on her forehead by something sticky. Blood! Panicking for a second, Skye struggles against her bonds and gets nowhere fast. Trying to slow down her short shallow breathing into long drawn out breaths, Megan knows she can’t get out of this unless she stays calm. *beep-beep-beep-beep* After that noise, the phone on her hip stops vibrating/ringing and the dread comes back ten fold. That was the sound for the battery running out! She doesn’t like small spaces, no one does, but with her hands bound together behind her back by who she can only assume was Gabriel Drake, things start to compound. What did he do to her? How long has she been out and just where the hell is she? Is she—no! Mind racing Skye stops herself from going down that route… she needs to get her arms free first. Shuffling as she pushes her wrists down her back, Megan grimaces while pushing her hands underneath her BUTT. She continues, sliding them down her legs slowly, but has to stop suddenly due to a sharp pain in her side. *beep-beep-beep-beep* Shit. Who knows how long it’s been doing that. *buzzzzz…* Thankfully, her cell begins vibrating again against her hip. If she doesn’t answer it now who knows if it’ll have power later. All she needs to do is untie her hands and answer the phone. *buzzzzz…* Urgency pressing, Megan shimmies her hands underneath her knees despite the pain in her abdomen. Obviously, Drake didn’t account for her flexiblity when he secured the knot. *buzzzzz…* Squatting as much as she can, Megan shoves her wrists around her boots and finally has her hands in front of her. Hearing the song once again, Skye’s lucid state allows her to remember the new song by Beyonce and Shakira ‘Beautiful Liar’. Biting at the knot securing the ropes, Megan loosens it just enough to wriggle her hands free! Realizing the end of her ringtone will be coming soon, she reaches around her side and spots the keypad. Just as it’s about to stop, Megs presses the send button… “Landon… I need a favor.” *** “Landon… I need a favor.” Maddix re-adjusts the phone on his ear surprised that he actually got a response this time. “Megs, is that you? I’ve been looking all over for you.” Landon adds. “I asked around and nobody’s seen you since… I thought you must’ve turned off your cell because I called you like ten times—why didn’t you answer?” “Landon, I-I don’t know where I am… it’s really dark and-ouch!” Skye shouts suddenly, her shin having banged into something heavy and metal. “Damnit that hurt… and the last thing I remember was Drake-” “-Drake?” Landon’s voice lowers at the mention of Gabriel Drake. “What does Drake—he jumped you backstage?” “Yeah, he cornered me in the back and then I sorta blacked-out. I couldn’t answer because, well, I just woke up. I heard the phone ringing and then once I got my arms free, I was able to answer it.” “Got your arms free!? From what!?” “Take a wild guess - Ow!” “So you don’t have any idea where you are? No clues? Jesus, this was like a few hours ago… you could be anywhere, Megs.” “At least I’m not moving, so wherever I am is where I’m staying.” Megan rolls to her other side trying to find some clue about where she is. “He said he wanted to send you a message, so if you can’t find me then there’s no point.” Her eyes come across the metal thing she banged her shin on a little while ago. “I can’t really move around much, but there’s like... a tire iron digging into my shin. I think I’m in the trunk of a car or something, if that helps?” “Ok, stay calm. I’m on my way to the parking lot. I want you to bang on the door as loud as you can and maybe I’ll hear you-” “-My phon's about to cut out, Landon, but he wouldn’t make it impossible to find me. Look for something, anything that could give it away, like a—Landon, you need to look for a car with the ke-” The phoneline promptly goes dead. Stuck alone in the arena corridors, Landon does a quick 360, trying to figure out which way is the parking lot, before sprinting off at full speed in that direction. One unlucky passer-by gets shoulder tackled out of the way, Landon in no mood to hang around. *** “MEGAN! MEGAN!” Scurrying through the parking lot, Landon is frantic, pounding away at the boot of random cars and waiting for any response in a desperate attempt to figure out where Megan is. The thought that she's not actually in this parking lot crosses his mind only briefly. The thought that she might not be able to respond is a much more pressing one. “MEGAN! ME-!” Suddenly, the faint sound of metal rattling brings Landon to an abrupt stop. Looking down, Landon quickly shuffles his feet from off of a small, round chunk of metal. The top of a key. The bottom half has been snapped... infact, more wrenched off than snapped off. At that moment, silent in thought, Landon suddenly hears the faint thumping coming from his right and scampers over. “He’s just enough of an asshole to actually do that.” Landon mumbles, spotting the blue sedan with a key twisted off in the lock. Running over to the car, Maddix bangs on the trunk. “Megs, can you hear me…” A low bang and muffled shouts can be heard in response. “I’m going to get you out of there, but the keys broken off in the lock. Hold on; let me check the trunk pop.” Despite the fact he doesn't know a whole lot about cars, Landon rushes around to the driver's seat. Curiously, the window is wound right down, prompting Landon to take a step back expecting an attack to come from within. But it doesn't come. *meep meep meep meep* “Fuck!” mumbles Maddix, almost jumping out of his skin. “IT'S OKAY MEGS, GIVE ME A SECOND...” Success! The trunk of the car pops open and the mumbles and thudding become much less muffled. Landon scrambles around to the back of the car, keeping half an eye out for anyone as he goes, to find Megan balled up in the trunk. Tied up, shaken and lacerated across the top of the head, Megan is in a real state. Maddix quickly helps his trusty manageress into a seated position and undoes the last rope ties, embracing her and telling her that everything's okay now. Not all too convincingly, it has to be said. Megan prises herself out of Landon's arms to finally get a good check on the cut on her head, as Landon grabs the tire iron as a precaution, before eyeing Megan over. “It looks like he worked you over pretty good. I need to take you to the hospital.” Landon says hurriedly, before pausing awkwardly. “He didn’t… do anything to you did he?” “No-no, this was strictly about... me not being involved in From the Fire.” “Jesus Christ. I'm sorry Megs, I'm sorry, I knew he was setting me up, but I thought I could handle it. I never thought…” He’d come after you. The words are left unspoken, but both know it’s what Landon’s thinking. “C'mon, let's get you to the hospital. We'll deal with everything else later...”

This calls for the return of Dino's Low Ki impression.

If they had the balls to create a character that can be pretty much the same, heel or face, with good reactions as a heel and as a face then they might just have another star on their hands. It works for Rock. Worked for Austin. Worked for Undertaker. I don't know if Punk would or could be that guy, but it probably doesn't matter, since recent form shows the chances of them creating that sort of character (ie. someone who isn't moulded from the proverbial wrestling cookie cutter) and sticking with it (ie. not doing what they did to Batista and Orton and Matt Hardy and Kennedy etc. and turning them for no reason other than fear of their reactions) are slim to none.

He just referenced Scorpio Sky there, which is good enough for me.

Okay, what's the story on the 'accidental' MoM title win? I've never heard about that before.

What the hell is a 'Knee Kick' anyway? I mean, how do you kick someone with your knee? Doesn't that completely go against the definition of a kick? Doesn't that involve your foot somehow? If I were to come up with some sort of flying back elbow and call it the 'Flying Elbow Kick', aside from it looking like something that came out of Jimmy's stats (in the best way possible), people would wonder what the hell an Elbow Kick would be. And rightly so. It's a 'Knee Attack', surely? Sorry, KENTA. You're neat and all but even you can't kick with your knee.

1985-1995 Tournament Pontiac Region 9 12 13 11 14 Atlantic City Region 12 11 Toronto Region 12 13 14 New York City Region 9 12 13 1996-2006 Tournament Houston Region 12 Seattle Region 12 13 10 Chicago Region 9 14 Anaheim Region

Sure.

So, not only is it the 3rd 'One Night Stand', but the name has no connection to it's original idea either? Wouldn't 'WWE One Night A Week' be a more fitting name?

No, I will comment once I read it. Honestly. Feel free to beat me to it though everyone.

Somewhere after the 6 Person please. ------------------------------ The magic of wrestling television transports us backstage, just in time to catch Landon Maddix and Megan Skye backstage, still dressed from their competition earlier. As the duo carry an ice bucket holding a couple of champagne magnums back towards their locker room, they find their progress impeded, as Josh Matthews is in the scene. JOSH Landon, can we get a wor... MADDIX Listen... it's Josh, right? JOSH Yes. MADDIX Listen Josh, as you can see with in a celebratory mode right now. The champagne is on ice and to be honest, we could do with drowning ourselves in it right now with the week we've had. Now, I think the result spoke for itself. Megan isn't just a pretty face and she's not just brains, she's a tough cookie. As Jade Rodez found out. Wrapping an arm around Megan, Landon smirks as Megan tries her best to look humble. And fails. MADDIX We fought through shoddy, bias refereeing and we came out victorious. It's as simple as that. Megan Skye proved what these OAOAST fans weren't aware of, until now. She knows what she's talking about when it comes to guiding my career. But she can do much more than talk the talk, she can walk that walk too. JOSH Uhm, that's great. But, that's not what I wanted to ask you about actually. MADDIX Then what? JOSH Well... AngleMania. It's right around around the corner and your plans seem to have gone down the drain as far as getting on the card. You won here tonight, but where do you go from here? Landon looks taken aback for a moment, mainly because he doesn't have a firm answer. Luckily though, Megan grabs the microphone and directs it under her nose instead. MEGAN You don't worry yourself about that. See, Landon, this was going to be a surprise, once I got the champagne opened up. But, what the heck. You're going to AngleMania! MADDIX Okay... MEGAN Well, don't sound too pleased. MADDIX No, no, that's great. But, what did you get me? Because you said it yourself the other week, the titles all seem to be tied up and the chances of someone other than Todd teaming with me against D*LUX are slim. (pauses) Oh no. Don't tell me you're going to make me team with Clark. Or Bloodshed, or whatever the hell he's calling himself this week. Because, if that's the case then I'd rather turf my Mom out of the villa and spend the weekend in Madrid... MEGAN No, it's nothing like that. MADDIX Well, what then? JOSH Yeah, what? In unison, Landon and Megan glare at Josh and he pipes down. MEGAN I've got four words for you... Money. In. The. Bank. MADDIX More ladders? MEGAN Nope, Battle Royal. Suddenly a smile begins to creep across Landon's face. MADDIX A Battle Royal? You're joking, right? That's... that's too perfect! MEGAN I know! MADDIX Talk about your Money In The Bank, a Battle Royal IS money in the bank. Oh, I knew you'd come through for me! Landon gives Megan a quick peck on the cheek, before grabbing one of the champagne magnums and popping it open. The bubbly pours over Landon's fancy ring gear but he could care less right now as he glugs down the expensive champers, nearly blinding himself in the process he's so eager. MADDIX Heh... I guess you could say, somebody's gonna get Clusterfucked!! HAHAHA! I'm goin' to AngleMania baby! (wipes a hand through his hair) It's... it's in my eyes. I can't see... MEGAN Okay, come on. A less than dignified exit for Landon, as Megan links arms and helps lead her man off. Still, even partially blinded, Landon manages to let out a loud 'WHOOOOO!' from off camera in celebration. Josh watches on, unsure of what to make of it all, before sending it back to ringside. COLE Wow, Landon Maddix joining the Money In The Bank Battle Royal field at AngleMania. And you may or may not be aware, but Landon has a stellar record in over the top rope style matches. He's won two Clusterfucks, the SWF's version of the Lethal Rumble. Not to mention finding himself in the final two of this year's Lethal Rumble itself, plus a regular Battle Royal victory under his belt in the past. COACH Maddix might just be the new favourite Michael. COLE Well, we know Landon will be in there, but also the 24/7 Champion Bohemoth, The Global Party Exchange, Jamie O'Hara. Plus, we've got an updated list right here and we can confirm the involvement of Brock Ausstin, both of Black T, Christopher Patrick Allen courtesy of Theodore Moneymaker's doing, The Cuban Wall and Colombian Heat as entrants. There's some bigmen and big names in that list. And we'll find out the rest in the next two weeks of course. Cole receives a paper from some zit-faced ring attendant. COLE Let's stick with AngleMania for just a second, because I've just been handed this announcement, straight from the OAOAST front offices! At AngleMania, Thunderkid will take up Alfdogg on his challenge last week, it will be Thunderkid defending against Alfdogg, with the Heartland title on the line! Huge announcement! COACH That is a huge announcement, Thunderkid is out of his mind, Cole! COLE What makes you say that, Coach? COACH Alf has been on a major roll since losing that title to Thunderkid, and since AnglePalooza he's thought about nothing but getting that title back! TK is in for a world of hurt! COLE Well, we'll find out in just 17 days at AngleMania!

We're taken backstage were a number of production workers and various jobbers and characters who rarely appear on screen are milling about, wasting the company's money. Standing near a catering table, and looking like the phunkest of playas, the purest of pimps, is Ned Blanchard, attired in a black rimmed sunglasses, blue sports coat, jeans, white dress shirt and pink tie. Go on boy! In his hands sits a cup of Kool-Aid, which is quickly spilled down his throat. Anger ensues from the three time OAOAST Tag Team Champion.... NED (to a nearby Production intern) You call this sugar free Kool-Aid, man? PRODUCTION INTERN OH YEAH! Heh. NED Excuse me!? PRODUCTION INTERN Uhm, I mean... that's what it says on the box, sir. NED I don't care what the box says, dumbass! My taste buds say this is sugar loaded crap! Look at this body, man, it's a temple, a monument to human perfection, and only the finest beverages can grace it's hallowed halls. Just because you treat your body like a garbage dump, and throw any thing you dig out the dumpster in there, does not mean I want to do the same. You know what? You're fired, bro! Take a hike! PRODUCTION INTERN (protesting despite the fact Ned has no authority to fire anyone) But sir! The intern places a hand on Ned's shoulder to plea for mercy. Not a good idea! NED Don't touch me, bro! This is a temple! A mecca of beauty! That's assault. That's sacrilegious what you're doing. Just walk away, bro. Walk away! PRODUCTION INTERN Please...you can't fire me! I need this job for college credit! Ned gives the lowly worker a final reminder that his word is law when he chucks the contents of his glass onto the kid's face. The poor intern breaks down in tears, red Kool-Aid streaming down his gaunt face. NED (pointing) Door's that a-way, bro! Use it! Not wishing to endure a beating in addition to his termination, the weeping intern scampers off, never to be seen again. Blanchard isn't offered a moment to gloat over his cruelty, as a despondent Jade Rodez, not paying any attention to her surroundings, bumps into from behind. Muttering under her breath about her recent loss, she doesn't even attempt an apology, only searching for a way past to Ned. However the studly brawler has little intention of letting her pass without first chastising her for hitting him, and then laying his game down. NED Ow! Crap! Watch your step..you.....you....wonderfully beautiful human being. Wouldn't want you to bump into a wall and scar that pretty little face. Jade sneers a little. This isn't the first time Ned's tried to put his proverbial 'mack' down on her and it's not the first time she's not in the mood for it. JADE You paused there. Are you sure you weren't going to say watch your step you dumb bimbo, cause that seems more like something someone like you would say. NED I'd never talk about a gorgeous lady like that. Never. Not in my life. Unless of course she happens to be my kid's mother. Jade curls her fists into balls as if she was ready to slug Ned in the jaw. JADE Watch your mouth about Krista! NED (smirking) Sorry, I didn't realize she was such a sensitive topic for you. JADE Yeah, it's a sens...no....it's..it's not that. She's my friend, that's all, and I don't like it when people like you insult my friend. How would you like it if I started going off on Simon's little Richard jeri curl, and his stupid 1980's Miami Vice wardrobe? NED Aside from wondering how an eighteen year old knows those sort of references, I'd like it just fine! Hell, I say that same stuff to him everyday. I say Simon, I don't care how much you style that hair of your's, bro, you're never getting that spot as Michael in the Jackson 5 coverband. Let it go. JADE Well then, I guess I'm just a better friend then you are. Or maybe Krista's a better friend to me than you are to Simon which I wouldn't doubt from everything I know about you. NED Yeah, I guess you got something there. When Krista ain't trying to extort millions of dollars out of you for child support, on the basis of an inclusive DNA test, she can be kind of a fun chick to hang with. In a crude kind of way. You must have had a killer time at the Oscars with her and Alix... JADE (gazing at Ned with a puzzled expression) What are you talking about? NED They took you the Oscars, right? Jade just kinda looks blank. NED No? Well, you know, those invites are really hard to come buy, even if Krista's aunt is on the voting committee. I'm sure they had other people who they wanted to take instead of you. No big deal, it's only one day out of 365. Krista's good friends with Angelina Jolie, so I bet you get to chill with her and Brad all the time, right? I bet he has some hilarious stories to tell about Jennifer Aniston. JADE Well...no not exactly. NED So, no on Krista? Boy, now I just feel bad for bringing it up. I figured, seeing as she's your friend. You know what, she's not a share and share alike type woman anyway. But, Alix, she's a fun loving girl, as all those pictures on various Internet sites can attest to. I know you must be hitting the parties hard with her. Tell me who you've met, Paris, Lindsay, Jessica? Don't be shy, girl! Dish to the Ned man, I gotta know what's up! JADE Actually the only time I really get to meet anyone famous is when Melody takes me to sci-fi conventions and we get to pose for a picture with Beverly Crusher from [i]Star Trek[/i]. For twenty dollars of course. I usually have to loan Mel the money. Trying his best not to bust out laughing, Ned shakes his head sadly. NED Oh man, is that lame! Well, you know, I'd still stick my test tube in Doctor Crusher's bunson burner, but as for you, that is the very definition of lame. JADE (sighing) Thanks a lot. NED Don't take offense, I'm just being honest with you. I guess Alix and Krista don't want a kid cramping their style. I don't know, can you down a whole bottle of tequila through a hobo's tube sock while reciting the Pledge Of Allegiance? Because if not, that might be why. The papers may say different, but that's what ruined our relationship. Not in the mood to begin with, Jade sighs. Very audibly. NED Look, if you were [i]my[/i] friend, you'd hit all the hot spots, in every city around the country. You'd be on the VIP list for every poppin club in North America. No COD bar crawls either, I'm talking the classiest joints there are. Fine wine, expensive champagne, civilised conversation. That's just the way the Ned man does it for his people. If I'm living the good life, you're living the [i]great life[/i]. If I'm up, you gotta be higher. If I got a million, you gotta have two million. That's the way I am. And, hey, it don't hurt that Teddy's pocket book is basically the key to every scene to be seen in town. Jade, trust me when I say life is fabulous when you got Moneymaker on your team. It's like every morning when I wake up, a pot of gold falls straight on my head. You have not lived until you've had your shoes shined with a fifty, and your cigar lighted with a hundred. It's like an entirely new world opens up to you, and it would take three lifetimes to explore even half of it. The way I see it, there's billions of people alive in this world today, but there are only six people who are truly [i]living[/i]. And they're all part of The Enterprise. It's one thing to drink yourself into oblivion and kill every braincell you have with various narcotics, but that's not living. That's not rich living. That's not rewarding, like my life and the lives of my friends. That's the kind of life the friends of Krista Isadora Duncan can only dream of, while they're living the E! Hollywood's Most Disgraced Celebrities lifestyle. Ned notices a distinct frown appear on Jade's face, and makes a weak attempt to cheer her up. NED I don't mean to make you feel bad or anything. JADE Hold on, Ned, I have fun too. Ned can't help but laugh at the perceived absurdity of this statement. NED Doing what? Covering for those New Kids on the block, B2K, fools' complete stupidity. No offense to your boys, they've had a good run, they gave me and Si a few fits, and they're a nice little lower card attraction, next to NRG or something. But let's be real with each other. They've peaked at the rank of HI-YAH Tag Team Champions. When matched with top flight competition, as evidenced tonight, their hearts turn softer then an ice cream sundae in an Arizona desert. They just don't have [i]'it'[/i]. JADE Yeah, well, they seemed to have [i]'it'[/i] when they beat you over the summer! NED And yet, they dropped out of the Anderson Cup to yours truly. As they say in this crazy mixed up industry, even the dumbest squirrel finds a nut sometimes. Beating the Beverly Hills Blonds is like finding the entire Planters factory. But I hope they recorded that moment on mint condition VHS or DVD-R because as far as I'm concerned they'll never see their hands raised in victory at our expense again. JADE You're pretty arrogant about your team there Ned, considering. NED Arrogant? No, Jade, just confident and when you're a four time tag team champion and have the backing of a billion dollar heir behind you, you've earned the right to a little confidence. JADE Four time [i]former[/i] tag team champion. NED That just brings me that bit closer to five, baby. JADE ...so? NED So? So, how about this, Anglemania, the biggest show of the year, why don't we treat the fans to a match they actually want to see, The Beverly Hills Blonds against D*LUX? No grudge, no hatred this time. Just a fair, athletic competition over those HI-YAH Titles? After all of 0.00000001 seconds of consideration Jade gives her reply. JADE Alright, let's do it. NED Now, I know what you're thinking, Ned you're crazy, I'll never agree to that matc....wait....you said yes? You did say yes! That's fantastic! Hey, Moneymaker has got the lawyers with him 24/7, why don't we head back to The Enterprise lockeroom, have some fine wine, listen to some fine music and let's get this contract drawn up the proper way. JADE Gee, I don't know if I really share your taste in music what with you being so [i]old[/i] and all. NED Are you sure? Because Justin's only in the area for a limited time period. JADE :O Ju... Justin? As in, Justin Timberlake? NED Of course. S'just Justin. He's a close personal friend of The Handsome Hustler's. Good kid. Just between you and me, he's got a special set ready for Mama Blanchard on Mother's Day, should be a blast. Hush hush, obviously. As far as tonight, technically it's invite only, but I'm sure he'll be willing to make an exception for a big fan such as yourself. And anyway, maybe it's best if you leave D*LUX behind. This is pure brain work, for the sophisticated folk. They wouldn't be interested. JADE (smiling at being called sophisticated folk) Oh... yeah, I... agree... most definitely. And with that the duo the head off towards The Enterprise locker room to engage in a pivotal contract signing.