King Cucaracha

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following Six Person Tag Team Match is scheduled for one fall! In this match, it will be males against males, females against females with no intergender pairings. At this time, introducing the SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE for this contest. Making his return to an OAOAST ring for the first time in four and a half months... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOONN RRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" [b]*GOOOOONG!*[/b] "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." The crowd rightfully go nuts for the returning Rodez, even though he's already returned a few weeks ago and this in-ring return isn't for an actual match, as the sliding doors part and the zebra-striped Silky Smooth One emerges. Leon makes a slighty less big deal of his entrance than usual, trying to stay professional. Aside from a few slapped hands and a few winks to selected females, of course. COACH You know, maybe it's just me, but this don't seem right. COLE What could possibly be wrong about this Coach? Leon Rodez, returning to the ring, albeit in a refereeing capacity. COACH And you've got his possible AngleMania opponent on one side and his [i]sister[/i] on the other side. You can't tell the Coach that that ain't a conflict of interest. Leon enters the ring and straightens up his stripes, professionally shaking hands with Michael Buffer. He stops short of asking for an autograph (a missed opportunity, surely!) and lounges in a corner. And as he loosens up his counting arm... "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!" ..."Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson fires through the P.A system. The mood is suitably killed as through the entrance way pile out first Todd Cortez, followed by Landon Maddix hand in hand with Megan Skye. Landon doesn't pose or posture tonight, looking as sullen as his usually sullen tag team partner. Maybe because of the referee for this match, maybe still mourning those 500,000 dollars he lost out on last week. Maybe both. Leading the way, Cortez locks eyes with Leon as he marches down the aisle with Leon quick to point out the referee shirt he's wearing to quell any plans of attack. BUFFER Introducing team number one! First, from Hollywood Boulevard... weighing in at two hundred and twenty six pounds... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TTOOOOOOOOODD CCOOOOOOORRRRTTEEEEEZZZZZZ!! His partners... from Pawtucket, Rhode Island... MEGAN SSSKKYYYEEEEEE! And finally hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... he weighs two hundred, eight pounds... LLLAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOOOONN "LA CUCARACHA" MMMMAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Todd Cortez and Leon Rodez, in the same ring at the same time. This has the potential to explode at any minute, the OAOAST Board Of Directors taking a considerable risk in assigning Leon this post. COACH Well you know that Leon's been hassling everyone to get back into the ring. And he still hasn't got that doctor's clearance. They had to do something, I just don't get why it had to be refereeing his sister's match-up. Unless he... ya know, greased some palms. COLE You know as well as I do, Leon's not like that. Don't judge people by your own standards. COACH Is that a race joke? Cause if it is... Landon leads Megan up the steps, keeping half an eye on Leon as well as his partner, having his own history with The Silky Smooth One of course. It's Cortez who everyone is keeping and eye on though as The Urban Legend squares up to Leon, no sign of the special referee backing down as he tries to explain the rules. The fact he's blanking him seems to rile Cortez up, but he's quickly dragged away and coaxed into calming down by Landon and Megan. COLE Well, we've said in the past that Landon and Cortez have a lot of history and there's a certain tension between them. That tension is pretty much solely down to their past feelings for Megan Skye. So this should be very interesting, to see how this trio actually functions without trying to throttle each other. "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The boyband styling of A1's "First To Believe" bring the crowd to their feet again for their favourite six person trio. That may be because there's very few of them, or because they're so good looking. Or, again, maybe both. "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant and "Showtime" Shayne Brave emerge through the entrance way decked out in purple denim, a fine choice indeed, as it matches the ring attire of their inexperienced partner Ms. Jade Rodez! After enthusiastically waving down to her referee brother, which causes Landon to throw a fit at the unfairness of it all, Jade then points the way down the aisle for her team. BUFFER And introducing the opponents! First, from Grand Rapids, Michigan... JJAAAADDEEE RRRRROOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ! And, at a total combined weight of three hundred, eighty eight pounds. The reigning three-time HI-YAH WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER, "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... they are D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" As the D*LUX trio make their way into the ring, Leon greets them all with handshakes. Which, again, sends Landon into a tizzy. COACH Come on! That ain't right Mikey, you can't condone that. COLE What? It's just a friendly good-luck handshake. Leon promptly hugs his sister and Landon promptly tries to kick the bottom turnbuckle off it's hinges. Of course, that doesn't do much for his foot and he's left hobbling in pain. COLE Like I said, just a friendly good-luck hug, just like all the referees give. COACH Let's not get into your backstage dealing with Charles Robinson right now shall we? An instant protest is put in by the Martial Law team at the favouritism, which Leon is forced to apologise for. His offer to make it fair by giving Megan a hug doesn't go down too well though. Still fuming, Landon steps towards Leon. But he quickly points out his referee stripes and wags a condescending finger at La Cucaracha, who looks in danger of his head exploding right about now. "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" Finally showing some professionalism, Leon demands one in from each team and two out. Megan quickly points Landon out of the ring and tries to convince Todd into doing the same. She's ready to go. As, conveniently enough, is Jade who doesn't take long to get her loyal team to follow her orders and go to the apron. COLE Looks like the ladies will be kicking us off. Jade Rodez up against former SWF Women's Champion, Megan Skye! COACH They had a Women's Title? COLE It was a passing phase. COACH So, like ours? *DINGDINGDING!* What better way than to avoid awkward questions than a bell? On Leon's signal the bell sounds and Megan adopts a fighting stance as she comes out of her corner, Jade doing the same although a lot less convincingly. The two manager-come-wrestlers meet in the centre, at which point Megan throws a roundhouse kick. Jade just about manages to step out of the way, but the message clearly got across. A warning shot. "MEG - AN SUCKS COCK!" "MEG - AN SUCKS COCK!" "MEG - AN SUCKS COCK!" LANDON SO!? Amazingly, the defeated crowd shut up. Meanwhile back in the ring Jade and Megan cautiously move in again. Again Megan goes to throw a kick and Jade takes a step back, only for Megan to fake her out and instead re-time her strike... but again Jade manages to duck, retreating into her corner as her referee brother steps in and warns Megan about a 'closed boot'. "LAN - DON SUCKS COCK!" "LAN - DON SUCKS COCK!" "LAN - DON SUCKS COCK!" The smug smile on Landon's face evaporates now, as Megan dares Jade to lock-up if she's not keen on trading strikes. That seems a more sensible option and Jade takes it, as well as taking Megan's head into a side headlock. Jade cranks up on the headlock briefly but a sneaky tug on the hair causes her to shriek suddenly, losing his grip and allowing Megan to slide out the back, applying her own headlock! Leon has been in the ring long enough to guess what happened but didn't see the hairpull on his sister, Megan innocently claiming she did nothing wrong. COLE Skye, taking advantage of some bad positioning from our guest referee Leon Rodez there. Refereeing is an artform in itself you know. The headlock doesn't last long as Jade fires off a couple of elbows to the gut, finding her way free and rushing into the ropes. A shoulder block knocks Megan down on the rebound. And as Megan holds the back of her head, Leon takes a moment to tease his sister about her weight. Harsh, but it has to be done. Still nursing the back of her head Megan decides it's for the best to tag out and backs into her corner. Landon quickly takes the tag before Todd and storms into the ring, to a chorus of boos! That forces Jade to tag out now, just as she was getting into her stride, bringing Shayne Brave into the match. COLE In comes Landon Maddix who's running out of time to make an impression on the AngleMania card. We imagine D*LUX will be there to defend their HI-YAH Tag Team Titles, but Landon may not be so lucky. So far every plan he's had has been hampered by someone or something. Shayne and Landon circle briefly before tying up. Easily Landon gains the advantage, with the slightly questionable tactic of a knee to the breadbasket. Landon follows that up with a couple of forearms before whipping Shayne off into the ropes, setting for the rebound. Only for Shayne to skid through the legs with a baseball slide, popping up behind Landon and barging him in the back to send him to the ropes. Maddix accepts the hand dealt to him and builds up a head of steam, ducking through the leapfrogging legs of Shayne Brave and hitting the opposite ropes with a clothesline in mind. Before he gets there Shayne bottoms out though, forcing Landon up and over. It's clear Shayne is in control of the situation right now, rolling over and again forcing Landon to vault over him. Beginning to tire, Maddix slows down a little as he again hits the ropes, Shayne up and over with another leapfrog. And as he hits the ropes this time, Landon grips onto the top rope and calls for a timeout to catch his breath. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" The sound of thousands of people laughing at him doesn't shame Maddix, ducking through the ropes to force the timeout he needs. Shayne is having none of that though and grabs hold of Landon... ...THUMB TO THE EYES!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Okay, that was pretty resourceful right there. Still huffing and puffing, Landon untangles himself from between the ropes, brushing away referee Rodez... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and connecting with a knifedge chop to Shayne! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second! Followed up by a forearm, "Showtime" rocked now as Landon doubles over like he's just finished a marathon. Not for too long though, grabbing the arm and forcing Shayne into a little running. Shayne hits a neutral corner and comes stumbling back out, Landon connecting with an expert Dropsault and landing on his knees, the perfect place to strike a triumphant pose! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" LANDON COUNT IT! 1... 2... No! LANDON COME ON, WHAT THE HELL KIND OF COUNT WAS THAT!? ONE, TWO, THREE! After his refereeing lesson is dished out, Landon pulls Shayne up and again sends him for an irish whip ride, this time into the ropes. Maddix ducks his head early... too early, allowing Shayne time to float over looking for a sunset flip. Waving his arms around Landon tries to maintain his balance, but eventually gravity takes it's course and he gets pulled down... ONE, TWO, THR...NO! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Wait a minute, what the hell!? What kind of a count was that!? COLE That's what Landon told him to do! COACH Not for him he didn't! Furious at the fast count Landon storms to his feet and gets in Leon's face, Leon simply telling Landon that he's following his orders on how to count. In all the distraction, Landon forgets about Shayne and gets schoolboyed over... ONE, TWO, THRE...NO! Landon again scrambles to his feet, right into an armdrag which Shayne chains into an armbar for good measure. Megan and Landon continue to cry injustice over the count, Cortez keeping his head a little better but glaring a hole through the back of Leon's head. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Bringing Maddix to his feet with the arm still barred, Shayne makes the tag to Tyler Bryant. Back to professional mode, Leon lays on the mandatory five count, while D*LUX whip Landon off into the ropes and connect with a boot to the gut a-piece. As Landon falls to his knees, the well-choreographed boybanders then back off opposite sides, coming back together... ...and fire off basement dropkicks in stereo, sandwiching La Cucaracha's head in between. COLE New Kicks On The Block! COACH This is pretty lax referring, to say the least. COLE D*LUX have five seconds to switch and they've done so. No wrong-doing there. As Shayne exits the ring, Tyler rolls Landon onto his back and makes the cover... 1... 2... Cortez breaks the count! Leon points Cortez back to the apron and for a moment the air goes tense as the would-be AngleMania opponents come face to face. The icy glare from Cortez would scare most men but Leon stands up to him. And knowing he can't really do anything just yet, Todd exits back onto the apron. COLE I'm sure Leon is just itching to get his hands on Cortez, but he's going to have to wait and hope that he can do so at AngleMania. COACH You can say the same about Cortez though. He's going to be hoping that doctor's clearance comes through just like Leon, don't doubt that. Back to the action, Tyler has controlled Landon with a headlock while Cortez was looming. Both men come up and Landon tries to escape the headlock with some shots to the kidneys. Eventually he manages to shoot Tyler off into the ropes, scooping him up on the way back. Tyler floats over and lands on his feet behind Maddix however, running him into the ropes with a waistlock, looking for an O'Connor roll. A simple grip of the top rope by Maddix leaves him empty-handed though, Tyler rolling through... *SMACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and getting kicked straight and hard in the sternum!! COLE Boy, Landon really laid into Tyler with that one! Having dealt with his opponent Landon now takes the opportunity to tag out to Todd Cortez, legal for the first time. Tyler pulls himself up and is clearly winded as Cortez stomps over and roughly muscles the boybander into a neutral corner. Quickly Leon lays a five count on and gets another icy glare from Todd, who brushes aside Tyler's guard... and just SMASHES him with a brutal forearm strike!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That's about as clear of a message as you can get right there! Leon gets the point, but doesn't let up on Cortez and continues to demand he get out of the corner. With Tyler down on his knees in the corner after that vicious forearm, Cortez does as he's told and drags him out. With half an eye on Leon at all times he then brings Tyler up, straddling him across a knee with the Crotch-Droppah. The Urban Legend then creates some space, before re-arranging "Tremendous" Tyler's pretty face with a straight Mafia Kick! It looks like the lights are on but nobody's home for Tyler, as Cortez makes a slow and deliberate cover, his deathly stare into Leon's eyes putting him off a little... 1... 2... No! Hauling Tyler up again, Cortez holds him by the hair. A big right hand staggers his opponent, as if he wasn't already, the grip on the hair keeping him upright however. Releasing the hair, Cortez now fires off a hard kick to the back of the hamstring, unsteadying Tyler's base. With a wind-up, Cortez then looks for a big Laria... ...NO! Tyler ducks the clothesline, forcing Cortez to keep on going, rebounding off the ropes in front of him and getting cut off with a desperation lunging clothesline from Tyler Bryant! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE We've seen time and time again that D*LUX have a lot of heart and that they're built for go, not just for show. And Tyler Bryant showed it just there, clearly dazed as he hit that move. Both men stay down and almost in unison they decide that with fresh bodies on the apron, they may as well use them. Crawling over to their corners, Cortez and Tyler both reach out together, Leon keeping an eye on both sides as the hands connect... ...tag to Landon... ...AND A TAG TO... Jade? COACH This ain't good. COLE No no, Landon got the tag first! That means either Tyler or Shayne has to be in. That technicality isn't going to stop Jade though as she marches past her brother and fearlessly towards Landon. Unsurprisingly the two-time SWF World Champion laughs at the prospect of facing a mere girl. Until that is she shoves him in the chest. Landon takes that as even more of an insult that her moxy alone and pulls up his elbowpad ready to go... ...but Megan beats him to it, negating any disqualification as she spears Jade down! COACH CATFIIIIIIIIIGHT! COLE Coach, please. We have enough lawsuits around here as it is. Megan mounts Jade and starts to swing wildly with some punches, which Leon is powerless to do anything more than stand back and watch. Technically Megan isn't legal, but technicalities have meshed together and who is legal in the match now is anyone's guess. So Leon decides to just let it all go, having to avoid Landon as he rushes the ring and knocks Shayne Brave off the apron. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Dragging the youngest Rodez sibling around roughly by the hair, Megan shows her vicious side as she slaps her upside the head. A hard push then sends Jade into a corner, Megan following in and holding the top rope for balance as she lays in a hard kick! A loud groan is succeeded by a coughing fit from Jade, the air knocked out of her. Megan isn't done yet though, connecting with another straight kick. Having enough of this, Leon steps in and performs both refereeing duties and those of a big brother, dragging Megan off of his sister. But that distracts him, as Landon suddenly finds himself with a free path to charge AND CLOTHESLINE JADE IN THE CORNER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Come on, that should be a disqualification! COACH Too bad Leon's out of position again. COLE Yeah, because Megan's virtually grappling him out of view of what's going on! Jade slumps in the corner after the clothesline, as Landon smirks to himself. And then, for some reason, he drops like a stone, complete prone. And with his legs wide open, he begins to motion for Jade to fall. COLE ...the hell? COACH I think I know what this is Mikey! And I likes it! As Megan continues to tie referee Leon up, Landon begins to get more and more frantic with his hand motions as he waits for the never-old 'accidental headbutt' spot to occur. Only, Jade isn't falling. LANDON Damnit... TODD! TODD, GET HER!! He probably doesn't know why, but he probably doesn't care. Todd simply sees an opening and takes it, charging headlong across the ring with Jade in his sights. Diving through the air he performs a nifty little twist and flies BUTT-first towards Jade in the corner... ...but Jade MOVES, Cortez driving his Flying Asshole hard into the turnbuckles!! And before Landon knows what's happening, the winded Cortez begins to fall... *WHAM!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh noooo. COLE Oh, MY! Landon gets the headbutt he wanted. But chances are, he didn't want Todd Cortez's head buried in his crotch. The involuntary muscle tightening that Landon experiences makes him sit up and grab Cortez's head, making the image that much more embarrassing, Cortez having to prise himself out from between his tag team partner (for life?)'s legs. "LAN - DON LIKED IT!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!* "LAN - DON LIKED IT!" *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!* COACH Now that's just uncalled for. Both Cortez and Maddix roll out of the ring, The Urban Legend instantly seeking a bottle of water from ringside. Meanwhile Jade has slumped back into the corner, trying to catch her breath. Megan finally drags herself away from referee Rodez and targets competitor Rodez, that being Jade, running into the corner... and suffering a similar fate to Cortez, her elbow attempt finding nothing but turnbuckles. And weakly, she collapses... *WHAM!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND INADVERTANTLY HEADBUTTS [B]LEON[/B]'S LOWER EXTREMETIES!?!? "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE :D COACH How the hell did he end up there!? Worried, Jade helps her brother up. But despite the fact he's clearly limping, Leon is SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR as he insists he's okay. And to demonstrate his point, he gives a thumbs up to camera while nursing his... well, ya know. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" COLE Only Leon Rodez ladies and gentlemen! COACH Talk about your abuse of power! This has got to go down to a review panel or something after this, that's a physical attack on a female competitor? COLE How do you figure that!? COACH Well, by all accounts, he could have put her eye ou... COLE OKAY OKAY! Let's not go there. COACH Oh you know you'd love to go ther... COLE Are we going to have to cut your mic? COACH (sheepishly) I'll behave. The action continues! Jade presses Megan up against the ropes with a succession of forearms, dazing her enough to attempt an irish whip. A reversal from Megan sends Jade for the ride however, Megan crouching down and measuring Jade on the way back for a CHICK KICK... DUCKED! Jade avoids the kick, ending up behind Megan and applying a Cobra Clutch. The execution is far from perfect. But it doesn't matter much when she then drags Megan back and DOWN across the knee with a Backbreaker!! COLE Cobra Clutch into a Backbreaker! How about that from Jade Rodez! Brushing Megan over onto her back, Jade makes the cover and her brother is right there to count... 1... 2... NO! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Climbing back up, Jade lets out a roar as she encourages Megan to get back to her feet. Even Leon seems a little surprised at the intensity of his little sis'. Slowly Megan begins to limp back up, clutching at her lower back as Jade lies in wait. As Megan turns, Jade then grabs hold of her by the blonde locks... but gets a knee to the stomach to cut her off. COACH Not much big brother can do about that. As Jade doubles over, Megan quickly hops up onto the middle rope, ready for the Tornado DDT... ...pausing for a moment as Shayne Brave comes darting into shot AND SOARS THROUGH THE ROPES WITH A TOPÉ, WIPING OUT MADDIX AND CORTEZ!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE WOW! COACH D*LUX can flip and fly all they want Michael, they can't do anything about Megan though! And Coach is absolutely correct, as Megan clears her mind of her partners fates and focuses on hers. Front facelock applied, Megan springs off the middle rope and swings Jade around looking for the Skye Lyte... NO! Jade pushes Megan off! However, Megan lands safely on her feet, connecting with a hard kick to the gut to once again double Jade up. Again the front facelock is the next port of call, but this time Megan simply drops and executes a traditional DDT, planting Jade face-first! COACH That's it! She got her, no way little Jade kicks out! Megan sure hopes so, as she makes the cover, Leon having to put everything aside... 1... COACH Leon's going to have to count his own sister down! 2... COACH The irony is so deliciou... NO! ONLY TWO! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE 'Little Jade' kicks out! Out on the floor, Tyler Bryant joins the brawl on the floor and D*LUX, Landon and Cortez slug it out, leaving the women to hopefully take care of business. Right now it's Megan who looks most likely to do that, scooping and slamming Jade before heading out of the ring, in search of the top rope. COLE Megan Skye going to the sky! A bit of a risky move for a quote-un-quote part-timer to be taking perhaps. Megan seems comfortable enough though, reaching the high-rent district as Jade begins to climb back up. That forces Megan to wait a few extra seconds for Jade to reach her feet, before finally setting herself. Jade turns around in search of Skye, to his credit not being helped by Leon, as Jade finally finds Megan just in time to see her soaring down with the Skye Dive (Top Rope Crossbody)... ...connects... ...BUT THE MOMENTUM SWITCHES AND JADE WINDS UP ON TOP... 1... 2... 3- NO! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Boy, how close was that? COACH Something tells me big bro isn't going to be able to go halves on a Mother's Day present anymore once this match is over. In a scene you don't see every day, Jade questions her own brother's count. Which is a little bit naive with Megan having not taken an actual offensive move, reaching up and jabbing Jade in the stomach to regain the advantage from her back. Megan scuttles to her feet and hooks Jade up once more in the front facelock, this time looking to execute a suplex. Dropping to her knees, Jade manages to block the move though. And what's more she starts to return the favour on Megan, punching her in the midsection until she lets go and doubles over. JADE THAT'S IT!! "YYYAAAAAAAYYYYY!" Calling for the end, Jade lines Megan up, motioning her ill-placed brother out of the way as she makes for the ropes. Leon just about gets out of the way in time, as Jade hits the ropes... ...BUT ALSO SHAYNE BRAVE, who had just began to climb onto the apron!! COLE OH! A collision! Thinking quickly, Landon lunges and drags Shayne off of the apron to the floor. And meanwhile, Jade goes stumbling forward, her run diminished to a stutter now which gives time to Megan to set herself... *SMACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND CONNECT WITH THE CHICK KICK!! COLE Chick Kick! Right in the side of the head, Jade is out! COACH And there's nobody to save!! Landon and Cortez continue to brawl with D*LUX on the floor, Landon keeping Shayne from making up for his accidental assist in the Chick Kick. As meanwhile, Megan drops on top of Jade and hooks the leg, Leon wanting to check if his sister is okay and conscious rather than count right now. Which he admirably does... 1... 2... COACH Go ahead, go ahead... 3!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDING!* Leon calls for the bell with as much frustration as you're likely to see from him, which isn't a whole lot but noticable at least. His attention then turns to checking on Jade, as Megan quickly rolls from the ring to be retrieved by Landon. The SWF's Power Couple embrace on the outside, while Cortez deals with the last little fighting off of D*LUX post-match before joining Landon and Megan on their way out. BUFFER Here are your winners... the team of LANDON MADDIX, TODD CORTEZ and MEGAN SSSKKKYYYYEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Knelt over his sister, Leon watches as the Megan/Landon/Cortez trio walk off, Landon predictably soaking up the victory and rubbing it in Leon's face. Cortez remains much more focused, but the faintest hint of a smile can be seen as he points at Leon and mouths that one word. [i]'AngleMania'[/i]. COLE Well, an unfortunate collision between Jade and Shayne Brave cost D*LUX and Jade here tonight and Landon, Megan and Cortez profit. Not a great return for Leon Rodez, as he has to count his sister's shoulders down. I guess that blew away your conspiracy theories there Coach? COACH Yeah, sure. He counted the fall, good for him. But the real story is that man staring him down. I think that look says it all. If Leon does get cleared to compete, that could be him at AngleMania, courtesy of Todd Cortez. As D*LUX pile back into the ring Leon sits his sister up, apologising for having to count the fall. Jade seems understanding enough as she groggily pulls herself up. But as D*LUX try to help her stay on her feet, Jade kinda swipes them away, looking a little frustrated as Shayne tries to apologise. Apparantly with a splitting headache Jade isn't the mood for this just now and leaves the ring alone, Leon quickly following to try and further commiserate her. [b]Commercial Break[/b]

So you'd like to see 30 people get fired.......then see Triple H, HBK, Batista, Cena and a few others dominant the air time for every show huh? I'm sorry I can't take 5 hours of Triple H every week. As opposed to now, where the main stars end up going over to the other shows anyway. And they just fired 10-15 workers from ECW a couple of months ago anyway?

Well, he does change the colour sometimes. Now, technically, is it the 'MVP Elbow' or the 'Ballin' Elbow'? Because it's still at the stage where it's not called by the announcers, like The People's Elbow originally.

Well, besides the slim-line ECW roster and the fact it was two on one as opposed to one on one thus making it more reliant in jobbers getting squashed (see Scott Steiner), Snitsky's not being built up to challenge for a title at WrestleMania. MVP is. They could have done the exact same thing with a name wrestler and accomplished the same thing, but also made it seem like MVP deserves a title shot. This does nothing for anyone.

Okay, having listened to Episode 3 and 4, a rebuttal (seeing as I can't really get on air to say it). Rando said I was like the SWF's Rock, but if anything I'd say Landon's the Mick Foley/Mankind of the SWF. The Galacticos are really on the Rock n' Sock Connection kinda of wavelength and Mike is The Rock to Landon's Mankind. He's a jerk towards Landon and gets away with it somehow. And where-as Mike is pretty self-assured and full of himself and seems to get away with it, Landon's different. I definately try to write him goofy when I can. As a heel he tends to be pretty serious. I like to think I can write a pretty good promo and when needed I can pull out something serious and deep meaning (as deep as a parody e-fed can get). But there's always SOMETHING there in every promo to make you think 'you know what, I don't care what he says, this guy doesn't have a clue.' Edge is a decent comparison as well. Edge or Christian. I basically steal from everywhere. I forget now who it came from, but there was something on here a few years ago and one of the vets was complaining or bemoaning the fact that characters were too bulletproof. People didn't write their characters with enough weaknesses, which made it harder to write against them. And I remember taking that to heart for some reason and piling up various weaknesses (the goofiness, the reliance on Megan, the lack of technical prowess, egomaniacal, arrogant, selfish). Which I personally prefer writing to an unstoppable monster or a Rock-type who's pretty faultless.

I watch a lot of PWG personally and I can't remember ever seeing a Tornado promo. He tends to get away with not doing one due to his charisma. As far as in-ring, if nothing else his moveset is the best around. But he's good, yeah.

MVP going over some unknown doesn't do him as much good as if he went over an actual WWE contracted name. Even if it were someone like Scotty. It goes back to him winning over some unknown in his debut, when his gimmick was 'this guy isn't as good as he makes out'. EDIT: And I have no idea what went wrong with my first post. Odd.

If Beefcake were to show up, which is unlikely, chances are he'd get an Umaga beatdown on RAW before WrestleMania. As unlikely as it is, it'd be interesting to see what kind of reaction there'd be for Beefcake. He was mega over back in the day and I'm sure he/his music would get a good nostalgia reaction, even if he's considered a bad wrestler.

6 Person Tag Match Landon Maddix, Todd Cortez and Megan Skye -vs- D*LUX and Jade Rodez Special Referee: Leon Rodez I call non-main event for this one, so someone better write a ME worthy match. Well, not an 'ME' worthy match, I'm tired enough as it is, but a main event worthy match.

Yikes, I should have paid attention to this thread I guess. I'm on dial-up so downloading this will probably be a bitch but I'll try and get 3 and 4 downloaded ASAP to see what all the fuss about me is. The odds of me getting to do a call-in aren't too hot, especially with time difference and all, but I'll argue whatever needs arguing for the sake of arguing. And to give people material I guess.

I'm still calling the fans turning on Trump, and by the same virtue Lashley, at Mania. Vince is the heel, yes, but he's effective at his role and can be entertaining. Trump just doesn't work as the good guy in this scenario, not to mention he's a clear outsider. And the idea of him getting shaved bald doesn't work as the 'worst-case scenario' in the feud.

I wouldn't mind Jericho coming back, if only because the number of genuine name players is so weak right now, so long as it's with a freshened up act. The whole 'Assclown/Trash Bag Ho' interview routine got REALLY old when he was a face, which he'll naturally be when he comes back.

Okay, to save dredging up any of the WrestleMania threads... Does anyone else forsee this Battle Of The Billionaires deal backfiring? It's obvious that the intention is for the fans to be red-hot behind Lashley in the hopes of seeing Vince being shaved bald, thus giving him the immortal 'rub'. But watching that video package with the celebrities being 'interviewed' on RAW made me think, how many people in America would actually prefer to see Trump shaved bald as opposed to McMahon? Trump getting the head shaved would be a much bigger story and obviously a more shocking event than McMahon (if only because it's so obvious who's going over). But also, I didn't think the American public actually liked Trump. Or at least that he'd become somewhat of a figure for ridicule in the past few months. Plus, he's the 'outsider' in all of this. Again, maybe it's just me. But I've got a sneaking suspicion that there'll be a lot of support for Umaga/Vince at Mania, even if it's the vocal minority at first and that the people are going to end up turning on Lashley/Trump. Which would in turn ruin the plan to put Lashley over. Am I alone?

Well obviously after last week, Landon Maddix versus Gabriel Drake for the World Title in a Ladder Match.

I remember that. That's when he was wearing a mask and being called the Yellow Dog, right? Yeah. Must have been GAB '91. Nash at Survivor Series '95, just after Bret got the win, clearly using the word 'motherfucker' was one. Also, The Bushwhackers starting up a 'faggots' chant against the Beverly Brothers at the '92 Rumble (I think). I believe that was at a house show. It was certainly in Vancouver, around the time of the 92 Rumble. No, I definately remember it at a Rumble. Maybe it was 1990 against the Rougeaus. Or both.

He's been doing that on and off for years. And by on and off, I obviously mean whenever he's challenging for the title.

So, in other words, they're going to have some sort of phone poll every week to scam people out of money. Only question, why did it take them so long?

Back from the break and we're treated to a wide shot of the ring, the Houston crowd busy booing The South Central Militia as they stand in centre stage. COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and during the break, Vincent Santana and Marcellus Wallace made their way out and after what we saw earlier, I guess we're going to get some impromptu tag team action. The Militia, who pulled off the biggest upset of the year when they won the Tag Team Titles a few weeks ago... COACH Upset!? No no, the only upset was caused by AngleSault when he restarted the match and cost them the titles. COLE And gave them the shortest Tag Team Title reign in history, yes. The very same South Central Militia who jumped Bohemoth backstage and tried to take the 24/7 Championship as some sort of consolation prize earlier tonight, only for Jamie O'Hara to kinda get in everyone's way. And now, The SCM have apparantly given up on their title pursuit, in order to just kick some ass. Vinny and Moe wait impatiently, not surprising considering they've been waiting all through the commercials with only 3 AngleMania promo videos and an advert for Alex Maria Spezia's Sweeties playing on the AngleTron to pass the time. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! In the ring, from South Central L.A... weighing in at a total combined weight of four hundred, sixty pounds. The former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... MARCELLUS "ONE EYE" WALLACE... VINCENT "WHITEY" FORD... THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILLLIIITTIIIIIAAAAAA!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Buffer gets a murderous look on the word 'former', but besides that The Militia barely break their gaze down the aisle... "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" As finally the block rocking beats of "Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal pound through the arena. And still stewing from earlier, Jamie O'Hara strides down the aisle, talking smack in the general direction of no-one in particular. O'Hara strides down the aisle and tries to jump into the ring, but The SCM advance on him as he reaches the apron, giving him some second thoughts. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! First, from Birmingham, England... weighing in at one hundred and seventy pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Not the first time O'Hara's mouth has got him into a battle. Although, when he took exception to Bohemoth's claim that he's going to win that Money In The Bank Battle Royal, I doubt he'd have expected to be suddenly teaming with him a matter of minutes later. COACH And saving his title. COLE Yeah, that too. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The sliding doors part again and after a quick costume change, Bo is dressed for the fight, out of the suit and into his ring gear. Of course, O'Hara's gear is pretty much universal. Stopping at the top of the ramp, Bohemoth lowers his orange-tinted sunglasses and glares down at The South Central Militia daring him on, before marching coolly down the aisle. BUFFER And his partner! From Greenville, South Carolina... weighing two hundred and eighty four pounds... the reigning OAOAST 24/7 Champion... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well, Bohemoth said it himself, he'll be in the Money In The Bank Battle Royal at AngleMania VI. And you wouldn't bet against him winning it... COACH Unless you're Jamie O'Hara. Bo jogs right on up the steps and The South Central Militia stand their ground as he enters the ring, handing his 24/7 Title to referee Nick Patrick and slowly removing the shades. Unfortunately, his partner doesn't quite share his cool approach and rushes headlong into the ring, tackling into Vinny and Moe in unison, forcing Bo to quickly wade in before the bell as well! COACH It's breaking down already! *DINGDINGDING!* Taking Marcellus out of the equation, Bo follows One Eye into a corner with some right hands. Which leaves O'Hara scrapping with Santana, the two somewhat scrawny halves of the respective teams showing no finesse with some wild punches and elbows. Eventually Vinny pushes O'Hara off of him and both men scramble to their feet, O'Hara charging at and underneath Vinny's elbow attempt. Off the ropes, O'Hara again sweeps underneath Santana's attempted strike and comes off the far ropes, leaping up and catching Vincent in the shoulder with a Busaiku Knee Attack! The force sends Vinny spinning to the canvas and quickly out of the ring. Meanwhile, Bo motions for his makeshift partner to move out of the way as he whips Marcellous out of the corner, straight into the opposite one. Bo makes to follow in but thinks again as he sees O'Hara, calling him over and instead whipping O'Hara in. The Birmingham Bad Boy lands a clothesline on Moe, not doing too much damage... ...but Bohemoth's follow up clothesline certainly does, CRUSHING Marcellus in the buckles! COLE A little bit of teamwork. Infact, these two have actually teamed before. They were even stablemates as part of The Upstarts not so long ago. COACH Nobody remembers that, stat geek. Get a real job. Marcellus collapses in the turnbuckles as referee Nick Patrick tries to restore some order, getting one man in and one man out. That one man out ends up being Bohemoth, as O'Hara ignores the ref and starts to choke One Eye with the flat of his Nikey trainer. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." O'HARA AI'IGHT, EASY GEEZER, EASY! The rather unique attempts to calm the referee down seem to work, Patrick too confused by the uneducated British drawl to issue a warning. He just watches on as O'Hara struggles to pull Marcellus to his feet. Struggles and fails, as One Eye shrugs him away. O'Hara runs right back in with a couple more stomps and tries again to pull One Eye up by the hair. Moe doesn't appreciate the roughing of his 'do though and again shoves O'Hara away, this time forcefully enough to send O'Hara tumbling backwards. Rolling through to his feet, the plucky Brit tries again to attack. However this time Marcellus is waiting and comes out low with a Spear which cuts the hundred seventy pounder right off his feet! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The back of Jamie's head bounces violently off the canvas and down he stays, as Marcellus climbs to his feet, growling under his breath as he tags Vinny into the match. COLE The newly svelt Vincent Santana in. Down to two hundred ten, so I understand. COACH But still as tough as ever. And still POed after that 'experience' with Chicks Over Dicks at Syndicated, as I'm sure Jamie O'Hara is about to find out. Striding across the ring, Santana lands a firm boot to the back of the head. And a second. Vinny then drags O'Hara up by his baggy vest top, taking hold of the head and simply throwing him back down with another whiplashing landing on the back of the head. VINNY WHASSUP NOW!? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Have you noticed how many of the roster talk 'street'. It says quite a bit about our hiring policy, doesn't it? COACH Word, yo. Dragging O'Hara up again Vinny executes a simple scoop and a slam beside the ropes, before exiting to the apron. Gripping the top rope with both hands he then sets and propells himself back in... with the HÍLO! Vinny isn't done yet though as he rolls right on through to his feet, hitting the far ropes and dropping a running legdrop across the throat. Cover... 1... 2... O'Hara grabs the bottom rope. As Marcellus kicks O'Hara's hand off the bottom rope and yells at him to "fight like a man", Santana brings him back up to his feet again. A forearm stuns Jamie against the ropes and sets him up for an irish whip, a knockdown with a back elbow the fate awaiting him. Taking a moment to taunt Bohemoth on the apron, Vinny then places a foot on O'Hara's chest and demands the referee count... COLE Oh come on... 1... 2... No! COLE That type of cover just isn't going to get the job done. Tag is made and Marcellus comes back in, combining with his fellow South Central native with a double irish whip. O'Hara gets flung back and a double shoulderblock puts him down with barely any need for effort from the Militia. Vinny pops his imaginary collar in the fallen SuperJay's direction, while Marcellus dares Bohemoth to come and help his partner out. Of course, Bo isn't going to fall for that ploy. *SLAP!* Even as Marcellus reaches down and slaps O'Hara across the chest, sending an echo around the arena! COACH That's just a jerk move right there, which is probably why it was so entertaining. Moe is able to just toy with O'Hara now, paintbrushing him with the flat of his boot which is as much an insult as an offensive manoeuvre. Another paintbrush seems to rile Jamie up, fists clenched as he begins to climb off the canvas. Until the right arm comes CLUBBING down between his shoulder blades, knocking him right back onto his face. COLE The South Central Militia never famed for their artistic ability. They're all about straight ahead, smashmouth wrestling and it seems to be working right about now. By the seat of his pants O'Hara is lifted back up before being pressed across the ring into the South Central Militia corner. As soon as he lands, O'Hara is clipped with a slap by Santana, referee Nick Patrick struggling to keep control of both men at once. Tag is made and Vinny is now legal. Which doesn't stop Marcellus from loitering a little longer, The Militia pulling O'Hara out of their corner by his wrists, extending him to arms length before YANKING him right back in! The buckles whiplash O'Hara right back out, a word being used a lot and having a lot of effect on Jamie O'Hara so far. "JAY - MEE!" "JAY - MEE!" "JAY - MEE!" "JAY - MEE!" As the crowd rally behind Jaymee... uh, 'Jamie'... he's rolled onto his back and pinned down for the cover... 1... 2... ...but kicks out! COLE O'Hara showing some fight here. COACH Yeah, but that's just playing into Vinny and Moe's hands. They like beatin' on people, but they especially like it when those people try and fight back, because it just means all the more fun to be had. They'd happily beat on Jamie all night if he lets them. Which is clear to all of Houston, Texas right now as Vinny simply mounts O'Hara and starts to pepper him with right hands. Referee Nick Patrick tries to lay in a five count, but when that doesn't seem to work he tries to drag Vinny off himself instead, which doesn't earn him any 'cred' with The SCM. Exchanging an angry glare with the referee, Santana loads O'Hara up with another irish whip, ducking his head ready for a backbody drop. But he ducks to earlier and O'Hara is able to plant his hands on the back, using his momentum to float over and land safely on his feet! "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Vinny starts to wonder why there was no loud thud accompanying his backdrop and slowly turns around, O'Hara waiting on him with a Standing Dropkick! COLE I think he's tired of being beaten on Coach! Back to his feet first Santana goes for O'Hara again. But again O'Hara springs up with a Dropkick, managing to land on all fours this time! COLE O'Hara's mounting a comeback right here! He just needs to make the tag! One more time Vinny beats O'Hara to his feet but one more time O'Hara is ready, launching himself up... ...and MISSING the dropkick, going to the proverbial well once too often in a row! After a jarring landing Jamie stumbles back to his feet, a boot to the gut making his base even more unsteady. And as he doubles over in pain, Santana runs the ropes, bringing down the axe across the back of the head and dropping The Birmingham Bad Boy face-first in the process!! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Vicious Scissors Kick from Vincent Santana! Right to the back of the head, that may be all! Vinny flips O'Hara onto his back and hooks the leg tight... 1... 2... NO! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Santana and Wallace quickly threaten the referee, but he stays firm, only a two count. So, cussing up a storm, Santana slaps his forearm and calls for the end. COACH Drive-By time! COLE Vincent Santana, looking to use that surgically implanted metal plate in his forearm to his advantage. You'd think the officials would have learnt with Luger, but I guess not. As O'Hara struggles to his feet Vinny begins to rev up, winding the arm up as if teasing the crowd about what's coming. Then, once he's sure his opponent is on his way up, Vinny makes for the ropes. Doing a 180 doesn't seem to be about to help O'Hara, unaware of where his opponent is until the very last second, when the metal enhanced forearm comes flying at him and... ...DUCKED! Still in the moment Santana does a quick u-turn and tries again. But this time O'Hara is aware of what's coming early enough to do more than just counter, leaping up and snaring Santana's head by the legs, pulling him over with a quick Hurricanrana!! COLE O'Hara evades the Drive-By! But he still needs to tag, can he get over to Bohemoth here? Unfortunately for The Birmingham Bad Boy he ends up the wrong side of the ring to get to his partner quickly, pulling himself up right in front of Marcellus Wallace. Big One Eye decides he has to take over for his partner and enters the ring, looking to take O'Hara's head off. The Brit manages to duck the wild swing though and goes for a boot... but gets CAUGHT! Marcellus holds O'Hara by the ankle and laughs it up his expense, as O'Hara tries in vain to reach him with some punches. It's not going to happen though, O'Hara at Moe's mercy as he yanks the leg upwards, flipping O'Hara inside out... ...and he moonsaults onto his feet, only to lose his footing and go stumbling backwards... ...ALL THE WAY INTO HIS CORNER! TAG TO BOHEMOTH!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE By luck or by judgement, there's the tag and here comes the 24/7 Champion!! By the time Moe has realised what's happened he's already in the firing line, the fresh 24/7 Champion running in and knocking him down with a clothesline! Back to his feet comes Vinny, but he gets a clothesline too! And another clothesline for Marcellus! Bohemoth, cleaning house! Dis-orientated, Santana makes it back to his feet and dusts himself down, as The Meterosexual Monster lies in wait. Little does Whitey know what's waiting for him as he turns around, picking up some pace as he sees Bo set... *WHAM!* COLE SPINEBUSTAAAAAAHHHHHHHH~! Santana gets drilled, clean in the middle of the ring. And that might be it, if not for Marcellus Wallace jumping Bohemoth from behind! COLE Now, both members of the South Central Militia are in. It may take both of them to put Bohemoth down. And that's just if they're lucky! Clubbing away with forearms Marcellus tries to beat some of the fight out of Bohemoth, beating him into the ropes and trying to send him for the ride. Bo reverses the whip though and it's Marcellus who hits the ropes, scooped up on the rebound and Powerslammed to the canvas! The 24/7 Champion pops right back to his feet and looks around the Houston crowd, eyes wide as he comes to a stop. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE This does not look good for The South Central Militia! COACH No kidding. Bohemoth stalks behind Marcellus now and waits for him to get back up. Slowly One Eye does just that, turning around and finding himself scooped right back up into the arms of The Epitome Of Masculinity with just as much ease as the first time. Bohemoth carries the 250 pounder around like he was nothing, picking his spot before swinging him around... ...out... ...NO! Vincent Santana lunges in from behind and catches Bohemoth in the back of the head with his forearm!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE I think that was the metal plate! He got him right in the back of the head with that surgically enhanced forearm, Bohemoth might be out cold! Realising he's the legal man, Vinny quickly scrambles back over and forces Bohemoth over onto his back, slumping on top with something resembling a cover... 1... 2... SAVE BY O'HARA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I think he would have had him, if not for Jamie O'Hara breaking the count! COACH No question about it. The South Central Militia had the match won! First to meet O'Hara comes Marcellus, a forearm fending him off and allowing Jamie to jack him with a quick Jawbreaker! That does his weakened neck little good though. And it leaves him wide open as Vinny climbs back to his feet, cutting O'Hara down with a clothesline to leave him the only man standing. Falling to one knee briefly, Santana shakes out the cobwebs before cocking the forearm again and measuring Bohemoth, as he slowly begins to crawl to his feet. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" Slowly Bo reaches his feet, at which point Santana makes his intentions very clear with a shout of "DRIVE-BY, BITCHES!" Off the ropes he comes and with the forearm loaded he charges back, aiming for the front of the groggy 24/7 Champion's head this time... ...and he gets caught! Bohemoth ducks the forearm and locks it up with a Cobra Clutch. Santana begins to thrash around but the chokeout is the least of his problems, as Bohemoth then jerks him off his feet and brings him DOWN ACROSS THE KNEE with the Cobra Clutch Backbreaker!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Style Injection! He folded Santana in half!! 'Whitey' writhes on the canvas, as Bohemoth stands over him. No longer cool, calm or collected, Bo seethes under his breath, still looking a little woozy as he looks into the fans. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE Well, not many people escape two thumbs down, but four? After a quick detour, in order to clothesline Marcellus Wallace and send him spiralling to the outside, Bohemoth then turns back to Santana, who by this time has labouriously managed to get back to his knees. Which isn't good enough for the 24/7 Champion, scooping Vinny up into his arms and parading him briefly, before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! As O'Hara keeps guard, Bo makes the pin... 1... 2... 3!!!! And that's all (s)he wrote! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winners of the match... the team of JAMIE O'HARA and the OAOAST 24/7 Champion... BBOOOOO - HHEEEEEEMMOOOOOTTHHHH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth pushes back to his feet and smirks down at Santana, his arm raised in victory by Nick Patrick. A hand suddenly slaps him on the back though and he turns around to see Jamie O'Hara standing in front of him, saying something which isn't quite audible over the sounds of "Liberate". COLE Jamie O'Hara and Bohemoth, 2 and 0 as a tag team even if the first one was about a year and a half ago. COACH And it might be another year and a half before they team again. COLE Well, they had words earlier. And... I can't tell if Jamie O'Hara is congratulating the 24/7 Champion or badmouthing him. As the 'discussion' goes on between the victors, O'Hara seems to be getting more and more animated. Bo just looks at him at first, but pretty soon fingers are being pointed. Until, from out of nowhere, Bohemoth has had enough and BOOTS O'HARA IN THE GUT!! As if on cue the music cuts, as Bohemoth quickly grabs Jamie by the head, the seat of his pants, runs him across the ring and sends him flying, over the top rope and to the arena floor!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAH - BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Liberate" strikes up again as O'Hara lies in a heap on the floor, Bohemoth barely showing any emotion either way as he takes his 24/7 Championship and walks off. COLE Well, if that's not a clear message, I don't know what is. Bohemoth is going to the Money In The Bank Battle Royal at AngleMania VI. And he intends to do to 19 other men exactly what he just did to his quote-un-quote 'tag team partner' tonight- throw them right over the top and to the floor, until he's got his name on that guaranteed contract at an OAOAST World Title shot. COACH And he might just do it. But it's not going to be as easy as taking a beaten up hundred, seventy pounder and throwing him over the top when they're not expecting it. There's gonna be plenty more guys to contend with, bigger guys, hungry guys, guys who see that man as a big threat. Bohemoth strides off down the aisle as we cut back to ringside and Jamie O'Hara, sitting up and nursing a cut lip. The Birmingham Bad Boy glares at the AngleTron as Bohemoth walks away, wiping the blood from his lip and nodding his head.

I remember that. That's when he was wearing a mask and being called the Yellow Dog, right? Yeah. Must have been GAB '91. Nash at Survivor Series '95, just after Bret got the win, clearly using the word 'motherfucker' was one. Also, The Bushwhackers starting up a 'faggots' chant against the Beverly Brothers at the '92 Rumble (I think).

Kennedy's been Lashley's playtoy for the past couple of weeks. He needed a win more than Punk, let's not kid ourselves.

At first it was entertaining (yes, I said it). Granted, at first, it wasn't every other line of every promo, at which point it got stale. I seriously doubt it would have killed his career. People are overreacting a little I feel, his run with Bischoff as co-commisioners wasn't that bad outside of the thing at Bad Blood and the last we saw of him at SNME with JBL was entertaining.

This one should be a couple of segments after the one above. I'll have the match later, which'll obviously go later in the show. Did I really need to spell that out? Probably not. Ah well. COLE Alright, let's go backstage where one of our endless fleet of backstage announce people will be standing by. Take it away, miscellaneous interviewer! Back we go to the interview set, where Maria is the lucky interview personality getting a paycheck this week, standing by with the 24/7 Champion, Bohemoth. MARIA Hi Bo! Wanna talk? BOHEMOTH Seems like the thing to do in this sorta situation, yeah. MARIA Okay! So, you've been to Japan recently. Was it nice? BOHEMOTH Uhm... well, yeah, actually it was. I got my first real break over there, winning the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship nearly two years ago. And ever since then, I've always been given a warm welcome in Japan. But, it's also good to be back here in the OAOAST, to concentrate on another title. That title being the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. Clearly confused, Maria chews on her fingernail while she mulls something over in her head. MARIA Buuuut... isn't that Italian guy the World Champion? Your belt says '24/7' on it. BOHEMOTH Very astute Maria. Yeah, I'm the 24/7 Champion. But now I'm back, I've got my sights set on finally becoming the OAOAST World Champion too. Which is why I'm entering that Money In The Bank Battle Royal at AngleMania VI. In front of 60,000 plus people in the Skydome. And trust me Maria, if I get a contract to fight the World Champion whether it's Drek Stone or Zack Malibu, I'm not gonna sit on it for months. I'm gonna cash that in as... "OIII!" Lowering his orange-tinted sunglasses, Bohemoth looks around to the source of the interruption. That source being JAMIE O'HARA, The Birmingham Bad Boy striding over cockily. O'HARA Easy there geezer, don't be gettin' so many big ideas. You ain't winnin' that Battle Royal mate. Coz, I'z just come from 'Sault's office an' he's put me, Johnny an' Scotty in the runnin', innit! BOHEMOTH In English please? O'HARA WOT!? I is English, prick! BOHEMOTH Listen, I suggest you watch your mouth. You and The GPX are gonna be in that Battle Royal? I'm happy for you. But you'd better stay out of my way, because from the looks of things you're about a hundred and twenty pounds soaking wet and I could probably throw you out of Skydo... *CRAAACK!!* "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Suddenly, Bohemoth goes flying forwards and O'Hara goes flying too as a result! Standing over the 24/7 Champion are MARCELLUS WALLACE, wielding a now dented steel chair in his hands, VINCENT SANTANA next to him holding referee Charles Robinson by the collar. Quickly, Robinson joins the pile of bodies on the floor, thrown down by Vinny while Marcellus forces Bohemoth onto his back and makes a cover... WALLACE COUNT, CRACKA! "ONE!" COLE Marcellus is trying to win the 24/7 Title! "TWO!" BROKEN UP BY JAMIE O'HARA!! Marcellus looks shocked for a moment as O'Hara jumps to his feet and adopts a quick fighting stance, POed at being knocked down earlier and ready to make somebody pay. The South Central Militia just look confused. VINCENT You got a death wish mister studio gangsta!? O'HARA Yo' mother! WALLACE Yo, he's talkin' bout your momma Vinny! VINCENT Not for much longer he ain't! And just like that, The SCM pounce on O'Hara! The young Englishman gets overwhelmed with clubbing overhands and short knees, until Bohemoth climbs to his feet, retrieving the steel chair that was cracked over his back and THROWING his sunglasses to the floor! Vincent quickly spots Bo coming and grabs Marcellus... *WHOOSH!* ...pulling him JUST out of the way of a wild chairshot and dragging him away from the conflict. VINCENT You just made this personal, bitches! You wanna go!? You wanna go with us!? We'll see you two bitches in the ring! South Central, we representin'! WALLACE You [i]dead[/i], bitches! The South Central Militia quickly retreat off in the distance, not fancying a battle with a two hundred, eighty plus pound monster with a chair in hand much. Bohemoth watches on with O'Hara at his feet, as we fade back to the ringside.

Cut to one of the dusty Texas trails outside the arena (or 'roads' as I understand the natives call them), where away from the action The South Central Militia sit. Much like their every day lives back in South Central, L.A, the duo sit on the curb as the world passes them by, the perfect time and place for them to discuss their future career plans. WALLACE GOD-DANG IT!! And suddenly, Marcellus Wallace stands up and kicks up some dirt in frustration. Vincent Santana looks up at One Eye, still nursing a few war wounds from the outrageous Battle Of Los Angeles at Syndicated a week and a half ago, shaking his head solemnly. WALLACE I ain't takin' this shit no more! I ain't sittin' here no more lettin' the grass grow underneath these ice creams like a punk-ass bitch, waitin' for an opportunity to walk up and slap me around the face. That's not how I do! I slap bitches around, not the other way round. They get all up on my shit try'na grind a dollar outta my pocket down at the strip joint. And I slap those hoes down! Because that's how I do! I'm Marcellus Wallace and I keep my pimp hand strong! But I can't do that no more. I can't do that no more, cause I'm all outta that scratch. I'm straight broke like MC Hammer. Twenty six THOUSAND dollars, man! Twenty six grand we gave 'dem suburban hoes and those Tibet sons'a bitches! And what have we got to show for it? (collars a passer-by) What have we got to show for twenty-six God-dang K!? Not a dang thing, that's what! Wallace releases the passer-by's collar and he immediately runs for his life. VINCENT You think I don't know that!? Shit man, that damn router cost me a straight 50 down on the corner of 86th street! I knew we shouldn't have shelled out for that broadband dip! WALLACE Wouldya shut the hell up about the muthafuckin' broadband already! The cracka in the store told me that's what we needed! If you hadn't'a taken so long out back tryna work out which wire was connected to the god-dang mains... An awkward silence falls over the duo, Wallace sitting back down on the curb and kicking up some more dust (hey, my only references for Texas were old Westerns). WALLACE Those few minutes we had them Tag straps in our hands, it was like a fresh shot of weed to some white boy college mama's boy man, it got me hooked like THAT! *snaps fingers* South Central finally hit the world. We done made it. Then, just like that, we got raided. We got straight up raided like a coupla BITCHES! Shit like that don't happen to us. When we take, we take for life, we ain't never gonna give no bitches a second chance to get back what they couldn't hold onto in the first place! I still got Malibu's real wedding ring, ya heard? When I finds the right ho, she gonna be checkin' that bling, not no rich white girl! When we take, we takes for life. But we ain't got no Tag straps no more! We ain't never gonna see a Tag Title shot again, you recognise? We gonna be laid up in our cold, cold concrete graves before The Man gives us another crack at 'dem white bitches. Hell, they ain't gonna give us no title shots period! They got about twenty straps round here and we ain't in no contention for any of 'em! We out in the cold! VINCENT So, what we gonna do about it? I'll tell ya what we're gonna do. We gonna get down for ours! The Man ain't gonna give us our shots? Well, screw that, we don't need no shots, we call our our motherfuckin' shots round here. We be straight South Centralin', we don't need no handouts! WALLACE Whatchu sayin'? VINCENT I'm sayin', we gonna get our gold and we gonna get it tonight! The Man ain't gonna help us make it, so we gonna straight take it! South Central style! Standing up from the curb, The SCM pump fists and turn back to the arena entrance, One Eye still looking a little confused as we head back inside.

Backstage we swoop and we join in progress what seems to be a heated 'discussion' between Megan Skye and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, the SWF's Power Couple walking through the hallways of the arena, to where who knows? MADDIX ...I'm not denying that, I'm just saying it was a selfish thing to do, that's all. MEGAN Don't take this the wrong way, but... well, can you blame him? MADDIX Because of what happened in the SWF, right? Look, we all decided long ago, that was in the past. You and Todd have managed to get along fine and up until Syndicated, I thought the same could be said for us. But then he goes and leaves me up the creek without a paddle for AngleMania and to top it off, he costs us the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles last week. He told me, me [i]and[/i] you, that he was commited to being a championship winning team again. And he wasn't. And now he's got a spot at AngleMania and the soon to be 3-time SWF World Champion is out in the cold. "It's ridiculous, is what it is." Confused by the voice without an apparant source, Landon looks around, behind, above (!?) and finds no-one. Until he spies Theodore Moneymaker, The Billion Dollar Heir casually fanning himself with a handful of $100 bills (as you do). MONEYMAKER The biggest show of the year and you, not in a high-profile match with so few weeks to go. That's not right. I don't believe we've met. Moneymaker's the name, Theodore Moneymaker, but you can call me Teddy. *extends hand* MADDIX Uhm... you do know who I am, right? MONEYMAKER HHAHAHAHAHA! Landon recoils a little, taken by surprise by the uproarious laugh. MONEYMAKER Of course I know who you are. You're Landon Maddix, the SWF's poster child and one hell of an athlete, might I add. Not forgetting of course, the sharpest female mind in professional wrestling, Miss Megan Skye. I'm a big fan of your work. And that's why I'm glad you walked past. Because, I have a 'proposition' for you. MADDIX Okay, just... one thing. You... [i]do[/i] know who I am, right? MONEYMAKER I know exactly who you are Landon, you're a man without direction! Which just isn't right. It's clear to everyone that you've got the talent, the charisma, the youthful good looks, all the credentials needed to go straight to the top of this company. And yet, here you stand, not wondering whom you'll face at the showpiece of the OAOAST calender AngleMania, but if you'll even get a paycheck for your existance on April 1st. You've been frozen out. By this company, by it's talent, by it's owners and authority figures. Landon, I am a business man. And from what I've seen, you're a man who's good for business. Which is why I can look past your past associations with the Bruce Blanks of this world. We all make mistakes and bad business decisions in our naive moments... well, except me of course. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Landon again recoils. He really should have seen it coming this time. MONEYMAKER However, I'm confident you are no longer so naive. Your merchandise deal with the SWF alone tells me all I need to know about your credentials as business people. Now, as you probably know, The Enterprise is the guiding force of the OAOAST and with our physical and mental accument, we shall be for years to come. And I'm sure the same can be said for you. So, it seems natural that we should work out some sort of arrangement. Having the prestigous "Moneymaker" name on your CV however can do nothing but raise your stock in the eyes of the business world. And nothing but advance your career prospects. MEGAN What do you have in mind? MONEYMAKER I'll be shrift with you... I want the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships in The Enterprise's portfolio. MADDIX Okay. So, where do we come into that? MONEYMAKER It's simple really. The current holders of the titles, Chicks Over Dicks, are not the sharp business minds they claim to be. They've got a serious problem with bravado. And they've proven in the past, they're willing to accept any challenge at any time, no matter how unwise it may be. Which is where you come in. You being a four-time and current SWF Tag Team Champion, there's no better, more qualified man to capture those titles. So, with my backing, yourself and Mister Cortez challenge for the World Tag Team Titles tonight... and for your trouble, you'll be re-imbursed. MEGAN How much? MONEYMAKER Five hundred thousand dollars. MADDIX :O Megan grips onto Landon's arm to prevent him from fainting, trying to keep a calm exterior in front of this powerful businessman while her man babbles under his breath and starts foaming at the mouth. MEGAN That's an interesting proposal. But, why would you be paying us to win the Tag Team Titles? MONEYMAKER Well, of course, once you're victorious, you will exchange the titles for the money. Cue awkward silence. Suddenly the babbling and the foaming stops, Landon finally realising that yes, the offer that seemed too good to be true was too good to be true. MADDIX So, you want us to go out and win the titles for you, then hand them over to you? How does that solve my problem exactly? MONEYMAKER What problem? MADDIX Wha... the one you were so interested in three minutes ago! MONEYMAKER Oh, yes, that problem. Of course. Well, in addition to the money, you can be assured that I will use my extensive stroke to ensure you're on the AngleMania card in some fashion. And I will get you a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, no questions asked. MEGAN Listen, we don't need your chari... MADDIX Woah, wait a second Megan. Let me get this straight... you're going to pay me five hundred thousand dollars, get me on the AngleMania card AND get me a shot at the World Title... all to win the titles with Todd and give them to you? MONEYMAKER Exactly. So, do we have a deal? MEGAN One thing. Why can't you just wait until AngleMania. I mean, you won the Anderson Cup, went through four matches and now you're not going to take advantage of the prize for winning? MONEYMAKER That's exactly what I'm doing young lady. All I would be doing is merely speeding the process up a little. I'd still be an Anderson Cup winner and a World Tag Team Champion, it would just be an 'easier' process. I didn't make my fortune by dirtying my own fingernails you know. MADDIX He makes a good point. You've got a deal, Teddy! Landon eagerly shakes Teddy's hand, Moneymaker also shaking the hand of the clearly wary Megan while Landon takes in the smell of money on his hand. MADDIX One condition though. MONEYMAKER Name it. MADDIX Don't mention this to Todd. He's not a business man, so it's probably best I handle the money. MONEYMAKER You remind me of me so much right now, I'm so proud Landon. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The uproarious Moneymaker walks away fanning himself with the money again, as Landon watches on, trying to regulate his breathing after the latest unexpected laugh. MADDIX I think I need a Pepsi Max.

Me too.