King Cucaracha

Bohemoth & NRG vs. The South Central Militia & JINGUS

Plus there's a match from PFL, which is already in.

Shelley, even though his name is spelt wrong. Eric's great but as a wrestler, it's all about Alex Shelley.

"JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" The boyband stylings of A1's "First To Believe" pump through the arena and with their brief lay-off after the gruelling Hooligan Street Fight a month or so back served, the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions are back on HeldDOWN~! Clad in some bright red, boomer sooner red maybe, denim attire, "Showtime" Shayne and "Tremendous" Tyler jive out from the back with their usual energy. And as ever, beside them is their guiding light, Jade Rodez... chatting away on her cellphone? Uhm, okay. D*LUX aren't worried that Jade is too distracted for the usual pose routine and stride on down the aisle regardless, slapping hands aplenty! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this non-title tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by JADE RODEZ! At a total combined weight of three hundred, ninety seven pounds... the reigning HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT... they are D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Leaping to the apron, D*LUX fire up the crowd, prompting Jade to plug her free ear with a finger. BUFFER And, their opponents... first, hailing from Havana Cuba, weighing two hundred fourty three pounds... CARLOS CONCEPCION! Carlos removes the Cuban cigar from his mouth and jaws with the crowd, earning him a little bit of backlash. BUFFER And his partner. From Rio de Janeiro, weighing two hundred and twenty pounds... RICO DE JANEIRO! Rico gets a slightly better reception, but doesn't seem all that quick to respond. Across the ring, D*LUX turn back to ringside and drop to a knee each, ready to hoist Jade up in that cute, manufactured way they do. But Jade is pre-occupied on the phone, so D*LUX just set about entering the ring. COLE We saw Concepcion representing Cuba in the Tag Team World Cup in July and he's back tonight, with a fancy new cigar it seems. And he's teaming with Rico de Janeiro, who was humiliated by Theodore Moneymaker a few weeks back by being forced to kiss his feet, but looking to put that behind him. COACH He hopes. COLE A second chance for both it would seem, up against the two-time HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, returning to the ring for the first time since that memorable Hooligan Street Fight against The GPX. Titles not on the line remember, D*LUX being given the chance to ease back into OAOAST competition. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and it'll be Concepcion to start it out, with "Tremendous" Tyler. On the outside Jade has parked herself on the steel steps, facing away from the ring as she continues her conversation, breaking away long enough to give Tyler an encouraging thumbs up. COACH Who do you suppose Jade is on the phone too? COLE Well, my hearing isn't that great, but if it helps you narrow the field down, it isn't me and it isn't you. COACH (annotating) Not.....me. Right. Tyler measures up his larger, Cuban opponent, looking for a lock-up. A knee to the gut cuts him off though, as the big Cuban grabs a handful of hair and drags Tyler up to face him, grinning away as he BLOWS CIGAR SMOKE IN HIS FACE~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That's plain unhygenic! Away reels Tyler, apparantly not used to the smell of a fine Cuban smoke like Carlos. The distraction allows Carlos to land a big right hand, and a second, before shooting The Tremendous One off into the ropes. A duck of the head from Concepcion comes too early though and allows Tyler to baseball slide through between the legs, popping up behind and vaulting up onto Concepcion's shoulders. Carlos tries to maintain his balance, but fails, as Tyler tumbles forward with a Victory Roll... 1... 2... No! Headlock is applied by Tyler and he makes the exchange with "Showtime" Shayne. Tyler wrings out the right arm of Concepcion as Shayne comes off the top with a double axehandle, taking over with the arm wringer into the wristlock. Out steps Tyler, but another quick tag brings him back in, off the top with the axehandle much like his partner. Tyler again wrings the arm and goes from a wristlock to an armbar. COLE D*LUX as we said, looking to ease themselves back in tonight. A little ring-rust to knock off maybe and they're keeping the pace pretty slow to being with. That tactic may prove to be a mistake however, as Tyler doesn't have the strength to really do much with damage to Concepcion with the armbar. A knee to the gut sets Tyler up, Carlos grabbing a handful of hair to help lever his boyband opponent into the ropes. Shayne complains in vain, as Tyler is shot off the ropes and knocked down with a big shoulderblock! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Despite her charge's plight in the ring, Jade is laughing away on the steps. COLE Tag is made and in comes Rico de Janeiro... COACH You don't suppose she's talking to BO~! do you? COLE Could be. Why don't you go ask her? COACH Nah, that'd be rude. You think they're sleeping together? COLE *groans* Wrapping the arms around the well-toned waist of "Tremendous" Tyler, Rico pops the hips and executes a Gutwrench Suplex. Cover follows... 1... 2... Kickout. Bringing his opponent right back up, Rico scoops Tyler up and plants him with a slam in the centre of the ring. Pinning Tyler down, Rico then leaps off the canvas and drops the leg, leaving it there as the referee slides in... 1... 2... Kickout. With a front facelock applied, de Janeiro brings Tyler back up to his feet. A clubbing forearm across the shoulder blades buckles The Tremendous One's resolve, a second dropping him to one knee and making sure he's ready for a high vertical suplex from Rico! Rolling through to his feet, Rico kicks the arms to the side and smoothes down the PORNO 'STACHE~! before coming off the ropes with a knee... ...MISSES! COLE Too much time focusing on the facial hair there. Rico rolls through to his feet and catches Tyler on the ropes, sending him off with an irish whip. A naive move seeing as how Tyler just countered his last move. And sure enough Tyler glides underneath Rico's clothesline on the rebound, ducking the elbow on the follow up and nailing Rico with a Leaping Clothesline! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Big impact there. D*LUX looking to pick the pace up a little now. COACH Does Jade even know there's a match going on? With a tuck and a roll, Tyler tumbles to the corner and makes the tag to Shayne Brave! Quicker than you can say "It's Showtime", Showtime Shayne ascends to the top and soars in with a Flying Clothesline, wiping Rico out! Shayne then scrambles up and dropkicks Concepcion, knocking him off the apron to the floor. The charging de Janeiro takes a drop toehold and eats mat. He seems more worried about the porn 'stache though, distrcting him from D*LUX running the ropes either side of him and sandwiching the head with stereo dropkicks! COLE New Kicks On The Block! COACH I hope Rico's getting more than the $100 he was getting paid last time out. That could be some expensive dental work right there. Tyler quickly exits the ring, while his legal partner makes the cover... 1... 2... No! As he climbs to his feet, Shayne takes a quick detour and lands a baseball slide on Concepcion. Shayne then makes the tag to bring Tyler back in, catching Rico with an inverted atomic drop as he gets back up. Holding onto the waist, Shayne keeps Rico in position as Tyler runs the ropes... *SMACK!* ...and lands the Yakuza Kick, hitting D*LUX's homage to Paula Abdul, the Opposites Attract! The roll-up seems to be about to follow. But Shayne isn't the legal man, so keeps rolling out of the ring, while Tyler waits crouched in a neutral corner. COLE He's just measuring him... COACH Maybe Jade's leaving a message on my answering machine. COLE Would you concentrate on the match!? COACH She's not! Rico staggers back to his feet. Dazed and confused, he turns in search of Tyler. And he gets more than he bargained for, as Tyler blasts him with a Spear and floats right over into the jacknife pin... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE The Merry Tyler Gore Show, ends it for D*LUX who make a successful return to the ring! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... D*LLLLLLLLUUUUUUXXXXXX!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Hearing the announcement, Jade quickly tells 'Mel' to 'hang on a sec' while she applauds her team for a job well done. Tyler and Shayne celebrate amongst themselves as Jade then resumes her phone conversation as if nothing had happened, guided off by the delighted D*LUX. COLE Well, I guess from that, she was talking to Melody Nerdly. COACH Gossiping. Women, tsk! COLE Obviously Jade wasn't too worried about her team's plight tonight. COACH Or she just didn't care. COLE I can safely say that's not the case. Whatever, it doesn't matter as D*LUX picked up the victory even without their manager's undivided attention and they look as good as ever.

Who's what!? Steve-O as a pain-loving pyschopath Cruiserweight Champion would be money, admit it. Plus he'd be under no obligation to sell for them anyway.

*BREEEAAAK!* "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool powers through the arena as we return to HeldDOWN~!, in time for the entrance of the seldom seen 2005 OAOAST Rookie Of The Year. Striding from the back with his face hidden by the cloak on his back, Christian Wright stops on the stage and waits for the lyrics of the song to kick in before tearing away the hood of his robe. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, hailing from Raleigh, North Carolina... he weighs in at two hundred and thirty three pounds. Your 2005 OAOAST Rookie Of The Year... "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRRRIIISSSTTIIIIAAAANN... WWWWRRRRRRIIIIIIIGGHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Welcome back to Oklahoma City and we are ready for action, as Christian Wright makes his way to the ring. And he is indeed your 2005 OAOAST Rookie Of The Year, although 2006 has so far been quite a disappointment for The Natural. COACH What do you mean by that!? COLE Well, he hasn't really lived up to that Rookie Of The Year billing, that's all. He was in the main event at Zero Hour but since then it's been downhill, since losing the HI-YAH Heavyweight Title and his break-up with bodyguard Bohemoth, we haven't seen as much of Christian. Infact, that Rookie Of The Year tag might even be considered a bit of a curse, despite the constant reminders of it by Christian himself. COACH Harsh dude, harsh. Wright enters the ring and gets the going over from referee Mark Hebner. Meanwhile it's countdown time as "Hung Up" by Madonna begins to play, the stage being covered by one large, holographic DDR stage. Eventually the intro runs to a close and as the song picks up and so does the ACTION~ as the stage is filled with a bevvy of scantily female dancers. The lights in the arena strobe out as The Dance Dance Dragon steps through the entrance doors and busts out some hot ass moves! BUFFER And his opponent. From Osaka Japan, he weighs one hundred, ninety nine pounds... "THE STRONG STYLE PARTY ANIMAL"... DANCE! DANCE! DDRRRRRRRRAAAAAAGGOOOOOOOOOOONN!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Back from his tour of Japan, Dance Dance Dragon! COACH So the S.I.T didn't sacrifice him after all. COLE The who? Having danced his way down the aisle, Dragon slides into the ring. Off comes the jacket as Dragon is ready to go. Presumably. We can't see his face under the mask (duh!) but one can only presume he's ready to go. Wright watches on from the corner as Dragon watches his dance troupe leave. Big mistake, as Christian attacks from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Christian Wright getting the jump before the bell can even sound! *DINGDINGDING!* Despite the referee's protests, Wright pounds away on the back of The Dance Dance Dragon repeatedly before setting him up for an irish whip. Back shoots Dragon and into a hard back elbow. Down he goes as Wright drops to his knees and follows up with a blatant choke which earns him another reprimand from the ref. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THRE...!" CW releases the choke, only to re-apply it... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FO..." Another break by Wright, right on time, keeps him from being DQed but earns him no fans in OK City. COLE Looks like Wright's got some built up frustrations. COACH And this dancing fool is on the recieving end tonight! "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" WRIGHT SILENCE!! "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" Wright puts the boots to Dragon now, stomping The Masked Dance Assassin before getting in the masked man's masked face and reminding him, as if neccessary, that he is the Rookie Of The Year. With a handful of tassels Wright then drags Dragon back to his feet and hangs his arms up over the top rope. A couple of quick punches to the gut soften Dragon up before CW pins back the head and... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...connects with a knifedge chop. Dragon's top absorbs some if not all of the blow though. And being the Strong Style Party Animal that he is, he fires right back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a chop of his own to CW's bare chest! COLE Now THAT's a chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...a second! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a third, backing Christian up across the ring and forcing him to go to the eyes. Unfortunately, Dragon's mask has a panel over the eyes, putting pay to that plan and earning Wright a big forearm to the jaw for his insolence! With Wright staggered, Dragon now hits the ropes, coming back with a flying, spinning wheel kick that takes The Natural clean off his feet! Again Wright is left clutching his jaw, but he's got no time to nurse injuries this time, as Dragon follows up with a pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Allowing Wright up, Dragon jukes and jives a little before setting up an irish whip. CW spins out in front though, landing a boot to the gut and swatting away Dragon's hand. A forearm eventually follows, Wright loading up Dragon and sending him into the turnbuckles. In he follows... but right into one of The Dance Dance Dragon's dancin' feet! "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Quickly Dragon vaults up onto the middle rope. And the Dragon flies, prompting Wright to duck his head anticipating the dive, only for Dragon to soar overhead and take CW over with a sunset flip... 1... 2... CW slams his feet together and breaks the pin, before rolling back and out of the ring. COLE Absolutely nothing seems to be going right for Christian Wright so far... COACH Don't tell me, it's a 'curse'. COLE Well, maybe. COACH Phooey! As he stumbles around ringside, Christian looks fully intent on using the referee's ten count to it's fullest advantage to get his bearings back. Dragon has other ideas though as he bursts across the ring. Wright doesn't notice until the last moment. And by then it's too late, as Dragon soars through the top and middle ropes and wipes CW out with a topé!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Suicidal dive from Dragon and he got it all! "DANCE DANCE DRA - GON!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "DANCE DANCE DRA - GON!" *clap clap clapclapclap* Dragon drags himself back up. And, as the Dance Dance Dragon, he of course dances to celebrate his dive! COLE Was that the Running Man? COACH I wouldn't know, I'm black. COLE Hey, no race angles here my friend. COACH Wha? COLE Nevermind. Back inside we go and Dragon picks Wright back up, executing a quick snap suplex in the centre of the ring. Setting Wright in place, Dragon then sets off into the ropes at full speed. Inexplicably, he gradually slows to a stop on the rebound though, shaking off the shoulders and dusting it off before putting all his weight behind a kneedrop to the chest. COLE That's The Strong Style Shuffle! Lateral press by Dragon... 1... 2... Shoulder up! As Wright looks to get right back up, Dragon clasps on a headlock to try and maintain control. Wright goes to the gut with an elbow though. A second. And a third elbow, Wright sliding behind and lifting Dragon up for a back suplex. Dragon manages to float over top though and lands behind The Natural, swiping at the back of the legs with a kick that drops him down to his knees. With his usual panache Dance Dance Dragon dance dances his way in front of CW and lines him up... *THUD!* ...for a stiff kick to the chest... *THUD!* ...and a second... COLE Looking for the Combo... Slamming his fists into the canvas, Dragon now takes aim and whips out with a kick to the head... ...DUCKED! Wright avoids the Combo completing kick and snatches a rear waistlock. Panicking, Dragon tries to punch the hands apart to free himself from the waistlock, but Christian holds firm and takes Dragon over with a German Suplex, bridging into the pin... 1... 2... NO! COLE Excellent suplex, but not enough to slay the mighty Dragon. COACH I was hoping you'd avoid those puns. COLE You obviously don't know me very well Coach. Wright keeps the pressure on as he puts the boots to the Dragon, Dragon retreating to the corner as the kicks rain down. In follows Wright and he pins Dragon down against the bottom turnbuckle, foot plainly placed across the throat which draws in referee Hebner. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FO..." Breaking on four, Wright pulls Dragon to his feet and out of the corner. A European Uppercut rocks Dragon back a step and leaves him wide open for CW to stoop in, lifting Dragon off the canvas and with a quick 180, Hotshotting Dragon across the top rope! The whiplash sends Dragon stumbling back and Wright is on the move, bouncing off the ropes and sweeping Dragon off his feet with an STO! That series of moves gets the crowd back on CW's back, but also leaves Dragon in position for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! "DRA - GON!" "DRA - GON!" "DRA - GON!" "DRA - GON!" The crowd rally behind Dance Dance Dragon as Christian applies a rear chinlock to try and slow the pace of the match down. COACH I never had Oklahoma down as dance fans. COLE How can you not love a dancing masked dragon from Japan, Coach? COACH The way I am. Justifiably. Dragon starts to feel the groove, bopping along to the crowd's beat as he climbs back to his feet. As he reaches his feet Wright cuts him off with a knee though, grabbing two handfuls of mask and throwing Dragon down to the mat, hard. He follows up with the cover... 1... 2... But Dragon kicks out. Back into the chinlock goes Wright. "DRA - GON!" "DRA - GON!" "DRA - GON!" "DRA - GON!" The chinlock doesn't last as long as last time though, as Dragon quickly bridges up off the canvas... and sits out, jacking Wright with a Jawbreaker! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Wright is left dazed as Dragon gets to his feet, but recovers enough to charge at that point. For what little good it does him. Armdrag by Dragon! Armdrag again! And a third, Japanese armdrag this time, turning Wright for a complete loop! The Moral Highground is reeling now and finds himself pushed up against the turnbuckles by Dragon, in no position to fight back as Dragon unloads with a right hand. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chop. And a right hand. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chop. Right hand. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop, Right hand. COLE It's a Violence Party in Oklahoma City! COACH C'mon, get him out of the corner referee! With Wright slumping down the turnbuckles, Dragon brings the party to an abrupt halt. Instead, he hoists Wright up and sits him on the top turnbuckle, running his thumb across the throat to singal that it's OVAH~! COLE Could we be about to see the Bemani Buster? COACH CDub's too big for it, no way he gets him up. Sure enough, Dragon pulls down the head and tries to muscle him up for the buster, but Wright is clinging onto the ropes for dear life. Dragon lands a forearm before trying again, but again Wright won't budge. And eventually Wright is able to fight back, slamming his elbow into the back of Dragon's head and fending him off. Wright now grabs a front facelock and leaps off the middle rope, looking for a Tornado DDT. He's pushed off by Dragon, but lands safely on his feet in the centre of the ring and as Dragon charges him, he counters, taking Dragon over with a snap Powerslam! 1... 2... 3- NO! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Dragon almost got caught there, but the shoulder did come up just in time! One person who doesn't agree is Christian Wright. Putting the validictorian badmouth on referee Hebner, Wright insists the count was 3. And when Hebner doesn't agree, Wright commits the cardinal sin of putting his hands on the official as he SHOVES Mark Hebner! Hebner doesn't much appreciate that and SHOVES Wright back... ...back into a schoolboy rollup from Dragon... 1... 2... NO! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Wright almost lost it right there! COACH Well, no wonder he's been on a bad run. That's no curse, that's referees conspiring to try and cost him matches! Wright storms back up but has no time to take issue with Hebner again, as Dragon beats him to the attack with a quick forearm strike. Another. And a third. Boot to the gut by Dragon doubles The Natural over and Dragon turns back to back with CW, cradling up the arms and looking for the Newbie Killer (Vertibreaker)! Standing upright, Wright is able to block that, sending Dragon tumbling over the back. He lands on his feet and with a waistlock he runs for the ropes, trying to bring Wright over with an O'Connor roll. Wright hangs onto the top rope and pushes Dragon off though, then turns and tumbles over top with a sunset flip... ...attempt, countered, Dragon leaping up and landing a big legdrop across the throat! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Rolling back to his feet Dragon kicks Wright a kick and keeps on kicking, nudging Wright over until he's facedown on the canvas before stomping him in the back of the head. Dragon then leaves the ring and heads up top, bringing the fans to their feet. COLE The Dragon is about to spread his wings! The Dance Dance Dragon reaches the top and carefully stomps his foot on the buckle, building up a good score before he soars off the top, aiming his Perfect! double stomp at the back of The Natural's head... ...BUT THERE'S NOBODY HOME!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Well, that was less than Perfect!, that's for sure. COLE Dance Dance Dragon could have blown both his knees out there, very easily. Limping back to his feet, Dragon turns right into a quick kick to the right knee from Wright. Dragon manages not to go down, just yet, but Wright quickly picks the leg and leaves Dragon hobbling uneasily on one foot, cutting the forearm into the back of the knee and takes the Dragon over with the Dragon Screw! Hanging onto the right leg, Wright then gives 'the signal'. COLE Figure Four! COACH WHOOOOOOOOOO! Around Wright goes with the spinning toehold and he reaches down to lock the legs... ...but gets caught by Dragon, who rolls him into a cradle... 1... 2... 3!!!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH WHAT!? *DINGDINGDING!* Wright scrambles to his feet in disbelief, but Dragon is already wheeling away down the ramp in celebration, albeit it with a limp. Referee Hebner has gone too, fearing more than a light push this time as Christian fumes in the ring. BUFFER Your winner of this match... THE DANCE! DANCE! DDRRRRRAAAAAAGGOOOOOONN!!! COLE And Christian Wright's year continues to go from bad to worse! Dance Dance Dragon's had a good run in Japan this past month or two, but even so, this has to go down as somewhat of an upset! COACH Somewhat!? Christian Wright is the 2005 OAOAST Rookie Of The Year! He shouldn't be losing to... to [i]Dragons[/i]! I don't believe this! How!? COLE It's the curse I tells ya! Arrrr! COACH ... COLE Sorry. On with the show!

Me and Tony have one Survivor Series match in place as it is and the survivors being in the main would probably work out. But I know PRL and I have plans that are non-SS. If we didn't commit the entire show to SS rules, it shouldn't be a problem. Maybe have a limit on 4, working it so the right characters go over. Either way, I'm happy to put Bohemoth in and I might be able to put Maddix in, depending on other plans coming together or not.

Eh, the last post was just a reference I was hoping someone would notice. Back to the subject at hand: It's incredible that WWE can manage an hour but Impact feels like a mess every week. Granted, TNA has a much larger roster than that of the new ECW and has monthly PPVs to promote, but still. It's one of the few things they could learn from WWE. I should think WWE does know how to manage an hour TV show. They've only had TV coverage for 20 something years.

Colt Cabana

If it's Tom's idea or SWF Cosplay, Tom wins.

Christian Wright vs. Dance Dance Dragon D*LUX in action

Don't worry, Becks will solve everything.

Akuma is a CHIKARA student, but that doesn't look like any of the CHIKARA venues.

Again, the problem is time and booking. You watch Chris Sabin anywhere besides TNA and he stands out more easily and is able to interact with people or to situations a lot more. In TNA, the X Division have to be concerned with getting their big spots off while TV time is remaining. That's the problem. Sabin's one of the best wrestlers in the company and possibly more importantly one of the most exciting. He's actually okay as a talker too. But up until the dumb Jackass stuff, he hadn't been doing anything but showing up and wrestling for months and your average fan doesn't care. The same goes for the majority of the X-Division. They misused Shelley for years before lucking out with Nash. They did next to nothing with some of the best young talent going, like Aries, Strong, Kazarian, Puma, Skipper and that's why nobody cares. Given the chance and the time to have matches that aren't rushed spotfests, the X-Division and people in it would be more interesting.

The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. COLE Well, get ready, because THE CHAMP IS HERE! COACH Oh, I heard him the first time! A few seconds elapsed, and out from the curtains and through the smoke comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. The crowds' cheers get louder. PR looks at the crowd with a cocky smirk on his face. He is wearing his suit, and carrying his spray-painted briefcase with his right hand. He raises the briefcase over his head to more cheers. He looks at the crowd one more time, and then begins his walk down the entrance ramp. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, The Man With The Golden Contract, “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE PRL, gaining more and more fans as the days go by! Last week, PRL was attacked from behind by Hooligan member Jamie O’ Hara after his match with Barry Horowitz! COACH Now hold on there, Cole! You forgot to mention that PRL attacked J-OH first! Remember? Backstage? When PRL just attacked ‘O Hara for no apparent reason? COLE No apparent reason? Jamie O’ Hara threw a towel in PRL’s face; mocking him for losing the Throw-In-The-Towel Match to Drek Stone at World Without End! COACH He wasn’t mocking him! He was simply *reminding* him of his lost. There was no mocking whatsoever! COLE Oh Coach. Come on now! Jamie was trying to get under Tha Puerto Rican’s skin, and well, he got what he paid for! COACH He didn’t pay for anything. COLE IT’S AN EXPRESISON, COACH! Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and looks at the crowd. He enters the ring. Puerto spins around; soaking in the fans cheers while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. PRL plays to the crowd, and then heads to a second turnbuckle, where he raises his briefcase over his head. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises the briefcase over his head again. PRL hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises the briefcase with his right hand in the air and “smells the electricity” a’la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving cheers. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the turnbuckle, and calls for a microphone. COLE PRL is gonna speak to us tonight. We haven’t heard Tha Puerto Rican say a word since losing to Drek at World Without End. COACH I just hope he makes this quick. Nobody wants to hear him speak for 40 minutes every week! COLE I don’t know, Coach. I think these fans would. COACH So? Da Coach doesn’t, and that’s the only opinion that matters! Tha Puerto Rican receives a microphone from a ringside attendant. The lights go back on in the arena. PRL paces back and forth in the ring, sunglasses on his face, a microphone in his left hand, and the briefcase in his right hand. PRL has a serious expression on his face as the crowd continues cheering for him. COLE PRL about to let the fans know what’s on his mind. COACH Just hurry up and get it over with! “Know Your Role ‘99” dies down. The crowd is still cheering for PRL. PRL paces back and forth. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COACH Shut up! Tha Puerto Rican stands in the middle of the ring, and puts the microphone to his lips. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN THE CHAMP IS HERE! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE These fans love Tha Puerto Rican tonight! THA PUERTO RICAN So, it looks like ol’ PRL is becoming something of a fan favorite these days, huh? Well, can’t say I’m surprised. You people were gonna love me sooner or later. Just let me make this clear: I’m not gonna start kissing babies. I’m not gonna start slapping hands. And I’m most definitely NOT gonna start saying, “Okay everyone. Time for sing along with Tha Puerto Rican!” No, I don’t roll like that. So, go ahead. Cheer for me if you want. Just remember that Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t change for ANYBODY because THAT’S how I roll! The fans cheer! COLE The fans apparently are okay with that. COACH Stealing another catchphrase huh, P.R.? COLE SHHHHHHHH. PRL Now that that’s out of the way. Let’s talk about World Without End. The crowd boos, knowing that PRL lost at that pay-per-view. THA PUERTO RICAN Okay, so I went into World Without End, and I vowed that the show was going to end with me winning the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title. Well, that didn’t happen. In fact, not only did I lose the match, I was SCREWED out of the title! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” PRL (CONT’D) Drek Stone, you know, in the bottom of your heart, that I CAN BEAT YOU! And that’s why you had to fight dirty. That’s why you had to go low. 2 weeks ago, we all saw just what a disgusting human being Drek Stone is. Hand-to-hand combat is one thing. Using chairs and tables. That’s another. But a gun? A FREAKING GUN!? Drek…man… PRL shakes his head, remembering what he felt looking down the barrel of a gun. PRL Drek, you crossed the line 2 weeks ago! Even *I* would never do what you did, and God knows all the messed up stuff I’ve done. Yeah, you beat me. You got what you wanted. Stephen Joseph DID throw in the towel. BUT YOU DID NOT BEAT ME! You may have gotten Popick to throw in the towel, but YOU did not PIN ME, MAKE ME SUBMIT, OR KNOCK ME OUT! Despite what you threw at me, I still fought back. Even when you gave me a powerbomb, and made me spit out blood, I WAS STILL STANDING! Drek Stone, you may have won, but if things were a little different, if the rules were tweaked a little, it would be me standing in…this…very…ring right now with the World Heavyweight Title belt AND YOU KNOW THAT’S THE TRUTH, RUTH! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Those are all lies, PR! Those are all non-truths! Tha Puerto Rican is pacing back and forth in the ring. PUERTO RICAN Drek, you used the stipulation I picked against me. You took advantage of that stipulation to keep the World Title. So for that, I applaud you. PRL does a *golf clap*. PRL (CONT’D) But Drek let me make one thing clear. PRL takes off his sunglasses, causing the crowd to cheer. He looks right at the camera. PRL I’M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET! The crowd EXPLODES with cheers! PRL Drek, I’ve still got my guaranteed title shot! And you better believe I will use it soon! So, Stone, hold onto that World Title belt tight, because the day will come when I cash in on my title shot, and Drek, when that day comes…I’M COMING FOR YOU! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE PR is still in the World Title hunt! As long as he has that Golden Contract, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion better keep an eye on him! COACH He’s just gonna blow that title shot like he has blown every other title shot he's ever had! COLE Quiet you. A small “P.R.!” chant starts up again. PR is pacing back and forth in the ring once again. He has put his sunglasses back on. TPR Now then, let’s move on to another subject: Jamie O’ Hara. The crowd greets this name with a mixture of boos and cheers. THA PUERTO RICAN Now, just tell me, what…in the blue hell…is this guy’s problem? Huh? I mean, is he just LOOKING for an ass-kicking? The crowd cheers. Then boos. PRL Doesn’t he realize that when you mess with Tha Puerto Rican, your wrestling career is cut short by about 10 years? I mean, hasn’t he watched me in action? Doesn’t he know what I do to people who piss me off? Doesn’t he remember what I’ve done to people like The Mad Cappa, Leon Rodez, “Shooter” Jay Darring, Blurricane, and Panther? I mean, Jesus Christ man; I thought Colombian Heat was bad, now I’ve got to deal with his white, British, doppelganger! The crowd cheers again, although there are some boos scattered here and there. PUERTO RICAN And you know what’s worst than a walking, talking Hispanic stereotype? A white boy trying to BE a walking, talking Hispanic stereotype. Jamie, stop trying to act like you’re a bad boy thug from the mean streets of Birmingham. I’m sure you’re whiter than Stephen Joseph is! No offense, Popick. So, J-OH, lose the doo-rags, the jive talkin’, and the rap theme music, and leave the thuggin’ and buggin’ to the REAL bad boy of the OAOAST, The Puerto Rican Bad Boy, me! Okay? Okay. The crowd cheers some more. COACH Tha Puerto Rican a bad boy? HA! He’s The Corporate Champion! What kind of thug goes “Corporate”? COLE He’s a Corporate Thug! Like that song by Bizzy Bone. PRL Jamie O’ Hara, don’t think I’m gonna take what happened last week lying down. If you wanna go one-on-one with The Corporate One, be my guest. However, I must warn you, that you are gonna be on the wrong end of a Puerto Rican ass-kicking as I lay the smackdown (PRL does his “lay-the-smackdown" hand gesture) on your poseur-wannabe candy ass! And then, when the smoke has cleared, and the dust has settled, and the millions… CROWD …AND MILLIONS! PRL ANNNNNND MILLIONS of Tha Puerto Rican’s fans are done chanting my name: “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” PRL When all that has finished, all that will be left is you, Jamie O’ Hara, lying on your back, looking up at the lights, dazed, confused, and beaten, the victim of a Corporate Nightmare, with a note on your chest that says, “I JUST GOT MY ASS BEAT BY THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING, “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN!” “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH He can talk the talk, but he can’t walk the walk! COLE PRL CAN walk the walk. He’s done more than once! COACH Bandwagon fan. That’s all you are. Just like all these fans here. COLE Hey, what can I say? PRL has won me over! PRL paces back and forth in the ring again. He puts the mic to his lips again. THA PUERTO RICAN And you know what else? I— “I’m A Hustla” by Cassidy begins playing. The crowd responds with a mixed reaction. COACH Aw yeah! Business has picked up Mikey, to be borrow a phrase, because by boy J-OH's not gonna stand for being badmouthed anymore! Not looking best pleased, O'Hara produces a microphone from his back jean pocket... which curiously is on the front, because he's wearing them back to front. Oh, you wacky gangstas you. O'Hara continues to walk down the aisle but stops short of entering the ring as PRL seems to be hoping. O'HARA You know wot... nobody cares, dawg! Nobody wants'ta hear what else you gotta say. It's the same old shit mate, over an' over. Know ya role, smack some arse, I got screwed outta the World Title. [i]Waa waa waa![/i] When you gonna face the facts, eh? You just ain't got wot it takes to be the Champ! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" PRL seems to be struggling with O'Hara accent a little, leaning in closer to get a better earshot. O'HARA You're just a wannabee. An' these people are gettin' sick of seein' your face, 'ear me? You've 'ad years to win that World Title and you ain't done it. Yet ya keep 'angin' round, stinkin' up this show and keepin' straight up Gs like me offa HD! It's about time you stepped aside, geezer. 'Ow many more times you gotta come up short before you recognise that you ain't got shi - ii - iit! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COLE I don't think these people agree. COACH So what? O'HARA Ay! Ay, you wankers better shut it right now! I ain't playin'! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” O'HARA You 'ear that mate, eh? You 'ear that? Tha's pity! They pity you an' tha's just pathetic! PRL No, you know what's pathetic? Some nobody like you making a joke out of one of the biggest names, the brightest stars, THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN OAOAST HISTO... O'HARA NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH! CRAM IT! Not a fan of being interrupted, Tha Puerto Rican glares down at O'Hara. O'HARA Quit the imitatin' already! J-OH be innovatin', I ain't like you dawg. PRL This coming from THE SINGLE BIGGEST POSER IN WRESTLING HISTORY!? "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" PRL Lemme tell you something, kid. I made my name laying the smackdown on one Eminem wannabee, I sure as hell wouldn't hesitate doing it to you too! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH That's completely inaccurate! PRL Let me ask you one question... who in the hell do you think you are? O'HARA NAH! I ain't fallin' for that, bitch! You know damn well who I... PRL IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bugging out on the outside, O'Hara furiously yells at the fans around him to stop cheering. To no avail, of course. PRL You are a nothing. You're an insignificant speck in Tha Puerto Rican's universe! You have done nothing in this company, achieved nothing in this business and not earned the right to stand in the same ring as Tha Puerto Rican! How dare you, you little jumped up yob, even contemplate mocking me!? How dare you!? If you so much as look at me the wrong way, I will slap the white right off of your ass! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH He can't say that! He can not SAY that!! COLE I think he just did. PRL Let me put this in your language, 'holmes'. My nizzle, you stuck your schnizzle in my bizzle, 'fo shizzle. Homeboy, you be straight bugging if you plan on going one-on-one with Tha Puerto Rican. Sunshine, you're straight ill. Because if you try and 'test my gangsta' then I swear, I will lay the smackdizzle down on your ass so bad, you'll make your country's soccer team look half-competent! Oh. No. He. DI'NT!! Soccer reference aside, the crowd are roaring as O'Hara cheeks are slowly beginning to turn red with rage. PRL You, as you might say, have just been SERVED! "YOU GOT SERVED!" "YOU GOT SERVED!" "YOU GOT SERVED!" "YOU GOT SERVED!" PRL THE CHAMP... HAS... SPO - KU... [b]UUUUUUGGHHH!![/b] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH YEAH! There we go! COLE It's breaking down in Edmonton! As PRL looks skywards in mid-wrap-up O'Hara spots his opportunity and attack, spearing Tha Puerto Rican down and mounting The Corporate Champion, peppering him with wild right hands! O'Hara is in a rage and chokes away at PRL with his bare hands before going back to the right hands, PRL unable to fend the fiery youngster off. Eventually O'Hara dismounts of his own accord, but only to put the boots to Tha Puerto Rican. PRL tries to pull himself up under the barrage of stomps, but he just can't manage it, everytime he comes close recieving a Nikey right in the side of the ear. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Things are turning from bad to worse now as O'Hara pulls one of the chunky chains from around his neck and wraps it around his fist, daring PRL to get back up. PRL is completely oblivious and although the crowd are trying to warn him, he's being measured by The Birmingham Bad Boy, fist cocked, ready to strike... ...until suddenly, here comes STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK TO THE RESCUE!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Wait... here comes some back-up! COACH Are these people actually cheering Popick!? Spotting Popick closing in, O'Hara quickly bails from the ring, just as PRL gets back up. Turning around PRL sees O'Hara running for the hills and tries to follow, but Popick holds him back and tells him now isn't the time. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE O'Hara's getting the hell out of here. He attacked PRL while he wasn't looking but now, he's not feeling so froggy. COACH That's because it's two on one! POPICK HEY! Halfway up the ramp, O'Hara turns around at the sound of Popick's voice. POPICK Hey, kid... don't run too far. Because tonight, you've got ME, one on one! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" POPICK And hey, one more thing... Fuck Me? ... POPICK FUCK YOU! COLE Wow! Jamie O'Hara against Stephen Joseph Popick, later on tonight on HeldDOWN! What a huge match-up that should be! COACH I don't think that's fair, but that's okay, because after tonight J-OH's gonna have a former World Champion's scalp.

I'm pretty sure WDI was how I decided to get into OAOAST in the first place. Must have been. Man, time flies.

*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE Looks like we're going to be joined by the 24/7 Champion! COACH Aw yeah! When Big Bo's around, everybody gets some action. Even the Coach! That's how cool he is. Bohemoth strolls to the ring with his 24/7 Championship proudly over his shoulder, the perfect accessory to his snappy suit and orange tinted sunglasses. Bo cooly breezes around the ring and towards Sofa Central, Cole and Coach standing to attention because he's so damn cool. Did I mention Bo = cool? Because he does. Setting down his belt, Bo puts on Caboose's headset (remember him?) and sets himself down, just as "Don't Believe The Hype" by Public Enemy hits. COLE We're set to determine the placings in the House Rules Relay and we're joined by Bohemoth here at ringside, good to see you champ. BOHEMOTH Pleasure's all mine guys. COLE This'll be a six team battle royal, meaning when one man is eliminated then his team is gone. The winners here get the first room in the House Rules Relay and the first shot at you Bohemoth. Runners-up get the second room and so on, with the first team eliminated getting room number 6. A very unique concept, as we send it up to Michael Buffer. Cut to the ring, as The South Central Militia have just entered. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this is the House Rules Relay Ranking, Tag Team Battle Royal! The order of elimination in this match will determine the placings in the House Rules Relay Match, with the winners earning the right to be placed first, with the first team eliminated placing sixth. Introducing the teams... first, from South Central L.A., MARCELLUS "ONE-EYE" WALLACE and VINCENT "WHITEY" FORD... THE SOUTH CENTRAL MMMIIIILLLIIIITTIIIIIIAAAAAA!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The SCM play to the crowd, Wallace taking particular issue with Bohemoth at the announce table. As they do so, "Adrenaline" by Gavin Rossdale hits and the crowd go WILD! Not specifically for one reason, although Biff Atlas does get a great reaction as he steps into view and flexes the biceps. NRG stride out, pointing out a fan laden with NRG merchandise, including the special edition green NRG headband. Limited edition, only $10! COLE Here come the team that instigated all this at World Without End. BOHEMOTH So they're the ones to blame. Gotcha. BUFFER From Venice Beach, California and Fort Lauderdale, Florida respectively, BIFF "SHAMPOO" ATLAS and FLEX PHILLIPS... NUTRITION'S REAL GURUS... N... R... G!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" NRG cautiously enter the ring, with The SCM keeping their distance. For now. [COLOR=red]*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!*[/COLOR] "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" BUFFER From Chicago, Illinois... DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY... THE LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE DOCTOORRRRSSSS!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bounding out onto the stage, The Doctors of Doctornomics gyrate to the delight of their female patients, providing them with the precription for their loneliness and/or hot flushes. The Docs perform a quick striptease with their lab coats, tossing them aside before jogging to the ring. BOHEMOTH Wow. How would you like these two clowns treating you at your time of need? COLE Who, me? Well, I'd probably enjo... COACH Don't answer. For the love of God don't answer. BOHEMOTH Doctors and nurses, right Mikey? COLE ...male nurses make a valuable contribution to our health service. In slide The Docs as "The Good, the Bad & the Ugly theme" by Ennio Morricone plays. All business, the returning (since when and from where, I'm not sure) Lone Star Gunslingers head straight for the ring. BUFFER From the Lone Star State... BARON WINDELS and "THE TEXAS TWISTER" JOCK MULLIGAN... THE LONE STAR GUUUUUUUN - SSLLLLIIIINNGGEEEEERRRRSSSS!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH And now cowboys, that's all we need. COLE Hey, I'm meterosexual, just like our guest here! BOHEMOTH Right. Just like me. The ring is filling up now with four teams in, all keeping to seperate corners. The Gunslingers exchange some heated words with The South Central Militia briefly, all interrupted by a fiery explosion at the head of the rampway. Orange smoke plumes across the stage with Lamb Of God's "Omerta" playing in the background, creating an ominous entrance for the always intimidating Hell's Hitmen. BUFFER From The Depths Of HELL~!, JINGUS and from Painsville~!, THE SADIST... HHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL'S... HHHHIIIIITTMMMMMEEEEEEEEENN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And assuming you make it to their environment, Bohemoth, you'll have to take on both of these men in one room. Not an exciting prospect. BOHEMOTH I've gotta go through all twelve to win. I'm not overly concerned though. COLE Man you are cool. Into the ring climb the hellish duo, drawing some worried expressions from the other eight men in the ring. JINGUS razzes out his tongue, running his thumb slowly and deliberately across his throat. Biff Atlas freaks and cowers behind his partner. Five teams have entered and now just one remains, "Temperature" by Sean Paul hitting to a giant reaction for the Edmontonians, for the (former) Edmontonian team, The Sk8ter Boiz! Sans dancers, The Boiz seem a little more focused than usual but still find time to play up to their throng of Canadian chicks. BUFFER And finally, proudly raised in EDMONTON, ALBERTA CANADA... "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER ...and now residing in The Real O.C, Laguna Beach California... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" BUFFER ...THE MARV and HELL MEL... THE SSSSSSKK8888TTEEEEEEERRRRRRR BBBOOOOOOIIIIIZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE It's been a torrid time recently for The Boiz, longing for the heady days of their World Tag Team Title reign. Maybe a return to their roots here in Edmonton will be the kickstart that they need. Hands slapped and cheeks kissed, just the women naturally, in slide The Boiz. And with all six men in the ring, it doesn't take long for all hell to break loose as the bodies pile into the centre and chaos ensues! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Here we go! Fists fly from the get-go as the six teams pick up where they left off at World Without End. Mulligan vs. Moe. Vinny vs. Pigley. Flex vs. Anderson. Sadist vs. Windels. JINGUS vs. Mel. And Marv... left to join in with his partner as the twelfth man, Biff Atlas, crouches unseen on the outside of the ring and pleads with the referee to give him a minute to compose himself. That moment won't last long though, as The Sadist lays out Windels and spots Biff on the outside, climbing out of the ring behind the unsuspecting Biff. Biff feigns some warm-ups, busting out some half-hearted jumping jacks. Which become quarter-hearted as the shadow of the 6'9 Sadist looms over him. BIFF Eep. Biff turns and realises he's in trouble, begging off from the bigman. Luckily for him Flex Phillips has spotted his partner's peril and climbs out of the ring, clubbing Sadist from behind with a big double axehandle. Sadist takes it with a smile, so Biff attacks from the front. And he's still smiling. COLE That's plain creepy. Both Biff and Flex are now wailing away on The Sadist on the floor, having little to no effect on the pain loving psycho. Out of desperation, NRG both shoot out a hand and grip Sadist by the throat. But Sadist grabs a goozle right back on both men! Sadist smiles through the chokes he's on the end of, NRG beginning to sink a little as slowly their grips on The Sadist's throat slip loose. Help is soon at hand though as The Marv climbs quickly up the turnbuckles and throws up the "RAWK" hand signal, before soaring off the top and wiping out all three men with a death-defying body-press! COLE Wow! What a dive from The Marv! BOHEMOTH What a dumb move from The Marv. COLE Huh? Sure enough, as Marv pulls himself out of the pile of bodies on the floor, referees across the ring are calling a bemused Hell Mel out of the match! The Edmonton crowd don't like it, but the referees have called it and no amount of fan support will save The Boiz now. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, THE SK8TER BOIZ are eliminated! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE SK8TER BOIZ LEFT: 1st ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Nobody ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] COLE A big mistake from The Marv, who apparantly got caught up in the moment. Technically he went over the top, a judgement call from the referees and whether you agree with it or not, The Sk8ter Boiz are gone. COACH So they're number six, right. COLE They will accomodate room number six, meaning they will have to rely on you Bohemoth getting through the other five teams to stand a chance at the 24/7 Title. BOHEMOTH Let's just say, I'm sure they'll get their chance. The arguing Boiz are escorted from ringside as back in the ring the action continues unabated. JINGUS drops to his knees and lays in a blatant choke on the grounded Baron Windels, which is only stopped when his partner Jock Mulligan comes over and starts to gouge away at the bigman's eyes! Meanwhile it's The Love Doctors paired off with The South Central Militia. Big "One Eye", Marcellus Wallace, pounds away on Dr. Pigley in the corner as Anderson and Santana are left to go at it in centre ring. With his street upbringing, it's no surprise that Vinny wins the fist-fight between the two. With Max dazed, Vinny then goes for a Diamond Cutter, only to get pushed off into the ropes. Back comes Vinny with a clothesline, but Dr. Max ducks underneath and lands a dropkick between the shoulder blades which sends "Whitey" lurching forward and over the top rope... ...but Vinny lands a hand on the apron and manages to push himself right back inside before Dr. Anderson can capitalise! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Vincent Santana's reach saved him there, otherwise he was gone! Vinny manages to catch Anderson with a quick jab of the eyes and tries to turn the tables, hoisting Anderson onto the top rope and attempting to dump him out of the battle royal! COLE And now Dr. Anderson's shift in this battle royal might be about to end. COACH Paging Dr. Pigley! Despite that not being an actual page and Dr. Pigley not having his pager to hand in this important battle royal, Steven senses that his partner is in trouble. Weaving away from Marcellus Wallace, Pigley rushes over and pulls Vinny off of his partner, popping him with a quick right hand. A couple more find the mark before Pigley sweeps out the legs. Turning his back on the fallen "Whitey", Pigley then calls on the crowd as he vaults up for a Standing Moonsault... ...but he gets caught in mid-air by JINGUS, who powerbombs Pigley ONTO VINNY!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The monster with a monstrous powerbomb! Two for the price of one for JINGUS! JINGUS stares down at his stacked up opponents, until Dr. Anderson steps into view. He's quickly disposed of with a big clothesline as here comes Marcellus. He gets a clothesline too though, leaving JINGUS standing tall with only The Lone Star Gunslingers standing. Collecting themselves, the natives of the Lone Star State back off the same set of ropes and as JINGUS turns around, he finds both Windels and Mulligan soaring towards him with a double flying shoulderblock! JINGUS doesn't go off his feet though! The LSG try again, connecting with the shoulderblocks but again just bouncing off the evil bigman as he takes little more than a step back in retreat. Looking at each other in confusion, Jock and Baron aren't sure what to think. So the Gunslingers sling some guns, firing off some imaginary rounds from their imaginary handguns. BOHEMOTH What is it with people and guns around here? Hitting the ropes one more time, The Gunslingers converge on JINGUS like it's the Alamo all over again. JINGUS ducks the double clothesline though and as the Texans turn around, JINGUS swings both his mighty arms down, catching both Gunslingers with one mighty Mongolian Chop! COACH Looks like the Gunslingers were firing blanks! COLE Thats terrible. COACH For you, yeah. COACH That's not what I... nevermind. The Texans are dazed, as JINGUS grabs hold of Baron's head, pitching him up and over the top... ...BUT WINDELS LANDS ON THE APRON!! Meanwhile, JINGUS has gone back on the offence. Grabbing Jock by the arm, JINGUS sends him into a corner with an irish whip. With a head of steam, the bigman then follows in, looking to use his ample backside to crush The Texas Twister in the corner... but NOBODY is home! JINGUS ends up slumped in the corner as Jock rushes into the opposite corner, charging in and nailing JINGUS with a lariat in the corner! He's quickly out of the way though, as Baron Windels sprints in with a corner lariat of his own! COLE Give it to the Gunslingers, they're not intimidated by big JINGUS. They're determined to take it to the monster. Out stumbles JINGUS, as The Gunslingers set him up for a Double Suplex!(?) COLE That's not the way to do it though. BOHEMOTH No kidding. Even being two strapping young cowboys, The Gunslingers can't get JINGUS's three hundred, sixty seven pounds off the canvas. Windels and Mulligan continue to try and suplex the bigman. They make absolutely no headway though, as The South Central Militia watch on. The Los Angeles gangstas contemplate helping out the cowboys against the evil monster from hell (don't you just love the tag division!) for a while, but eventually they take the more expected route, sneaking up behind... ...AND PITCHING THE GUNSLINGERS OVER THE TOP ON ADJACENT SIDES!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The Guns have been slung! [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS LEFT: 2nd ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: The South Central Militia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] In the ring The South Central Milita celebrate their elimination of the Texans... ...A LITTLE TOO EARLY, AS NRG SNEAK IN AND HURL THEM TO THE FLOOR!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA LEFT: 3rd ELIMINATED: The Lone Star Gunslingers ELIMINATED BY: NRG ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] COLE Just like that, we're down to six! Three teams remain and The Gunslingers and The South Central Militia will be sweating on their opportunity at the 24/7 Title in rooms 5 and 4 respectively. BOHEMOTH This is really confusing. COACH You're telling me. Sure enough, The Militia and The Gunslingers' tempers boil over and the four start brawling on the floor! Luckily for the referees they seem to be brawling off towards the back, so they decide to just let them get on with it. Meanwhile, it's down to three teams. NRG don't make the same mistake as The SCM and quickly get their minds back on the action, which basically involves targetting JINGUS. Biff and Flex tee off with alternate right hands on the monster, before sending him into the corner with a double irish whip. Nodding to each other, Biff and Flex then set up in the opposite corner, Flex whipping his partner in with an avalanche! Biff keeps pumping those knees and jogs around in a circular motion back to the corner, while Flex follows in with his avalanche. Same deal, keeping in motion, as Biff comes in with his second avalanche. Flex connects with another avalanche, followed closely by Biff yet once more! Biff then bides his time with some jumping jacks, while Flex runs in to complete NRG's patented Flexercise Regime... *SMACK!* "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...but runs into a big, big, BIG BOOT from The Sadist!! COLE Wow! All that cardio, all for nought! BOHEMOTH At least it was just his face. No damage done. COACH So burned. Blissfully unaware of what's happened behind him, Biff continues to bust out the jumping jacks. As he begins to tire he checks his pulse, apparantly at the right bpm as he turns around...to be confronted by both of Hell's Hitmen. BIFF :O Biff, bless him, collapses to the canvas in shock. He hasn't quite fainted, allowing him to try and scurry from the ring like the proverbial scolded dog. JINGUS catches him by the leg though and drags Biff back into the centre of the ring. Or, alternatively, the pits of HELL~! The forgotten men in all this are The Love Doctors and they show no favouritism as they drag Flex Phillips back up, setting him on the ropes and trying to dump him out! COLE It doesn't look good for NRG, whichever way you look at it. As Flex struggles to keep his feet on solid canvas, Biff is left with Hell's Hitmen. Biff tries to beg off, but Hell's Hitmen know no mercy. JINGUS fires off a Mongolian Chop, then hands him off to The Sadist who locks on the Cobra Clutch! COLE How about it, a show of wrestling from The Sadist! Biff struggles briefly, but for some reason The Sadist spares him. Releasing the clutch, Sadist instead picks Biff up and drops him with a backbreaker, keeping him pinned over the right knee as JINGUS heaves his mighty frame up onto the middle rope! The crowd seem as shocked as Biff does, eyes popping in fear as JINGUS carefully stands up on the middle rope, the rope buckling scarily (especially for the ring crew) underneath his 347 pounds as he drops off with an elbow, flipping Biff off of Sadist's knee! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The Desecration Device! COACH They just demolished him! COLE It's not subliminal if you make a pun out of it Coach. COACH Sorry, couldn't resist. Across the ring, Flex has fought off the competition from The Love Doctors. And as The Hell's Hitmen turn, Flex charges, mowing down JINGUS with the Flex Express! Flex takes it to The Sadist with right hands now, as The Docs notice JINGUS down and make their move, stomping away on the prone big guy. Dropping to his knees, Dr. Anderson then holds JINGUS down as Dr. Pigley drops it like it's hot, shaking it like a polaroid picture on the way back up and hitting a textbook Standing Moonsault! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" That puts JINGUS down, but only momentarily, as as soon as Pigley rolls off of him JINGUS sits right back up. Anderson puts him back down with a basement dropkick to the face though, rolling back through to his feet to find a helpful pointer from his partner. Sadist and Flex tussle on the ropes and The Docs nod, rushing over and tipping the tussle over... ...BUT SADIST AND PHILLIPS HANG ON TO THE ROPES!! COLE WOAH! I'm not sure what happens if they both go at the same time. BOHEMOTH Somebody in the back freaks out. COLE Touché. Both hanging on by one arm, Sadist and Flex manage to pull themselves back onto the apron. And despite The Love Doctors lurking, Sadist and Flex start to exchange haymakers on the apron! The Doctors of Doctornomics look rightfully confused but conspire again to rush around into the ropes on the opposite side. They don't make it far though, as they turn around into Biff Atlas and a punch a-piece, left for Max, right for Steven! "BIFF!" Double punch. "BIFF!" Double punch. "BIFF!" Double punch. "BIFF!" Wind-up... "WOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH..." ...and a BIG double punch, putting both the Doctors down!! "BIFF!!" BOHEMOTH That seems familiar. With The Docs down, Biff now points out Sadist and hits the ropes. Charging across the ring Biff looks to bundle Sadist off the apron and to the floor, thus eliminating Hell's Hitmen from the battle royal... ...but Sadist pulls Flex in the way... ...and Biff JUST puts the brakes on in time! BIFF Oh thank Go... *CLUNK!* COLE Double-noggin knocker by The Sadist! Biff collapses backwards as Flex fortunately falls forward, through the middle rope and back inside. Back in climbs The Sadist too, meeting Dr. Steven Pigley coming up with a hard right hand. In charges Dr. Anderson now, connecting with a solid sounding Lariat... but The Sadist stays on his feet and SMILES in Max's face! Freaking out, Max turns tail and tries to deliver a second. But he runs right into JINGUS, who takes him up and down with a 347 pound Samoan Drop!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Pigley clambers back to his feet and soon realises the numbers disadvantage he's in. But with the Hitmen closing on him, he decides offence is the best form of defence and charges them. A sidestep and a knee from The Sadist is his reward. JINGUS then applies the iron claw, Sadist wrapping his claw around that of JINGUS' as he and his monstrous partner haul Pigley up by the [i]face[/i] and PLANT him with the Double Claw Slam!! COLE That's downright frightening strength! COACH I sure hope Dr. Max specialised in facial recontruction, because his partner might need it after that! Both Love Doctors have been decimated. And there's only one thing left to do now, as JINGUS hauls Dr. Anderson up... ...AND HURLS HIM CLEAN OVER THE TOP, TO THE FLOOR! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Anderson didn't stand a chance after that Samoan Drop. And The Docs are gone. [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE LOVE DOCTORS LEFT: 4th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Hell's Hitmen (Anderson by JINGUS) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] For good measure, Sadist pitches out Pigley, leaving just two teams in this battle royal. Hell's Hitmen and a noticeably groggy NRG. Together the Hitmen drag Flex Phillips back to his feet and drag him into the centre of the ring, setting him up for the Double Claw Slam they hit on Pigley moments earlier. Flex is a different prospect from the Doc however and as he's lifted off the canvas, Flex fires out with elbows, connecting with the sides of both Hitmen's heads. Landing safely on his feet, Flex throws a double clothesline. Neither man goes down though, so Flex singles out JINGUS and pins the arm behind the head, setting up for his "Cardio Arrest" Heart Punch. As he rears back though, Sadist catches the arm and applies a Cobra Clutch! COLE Again with that Cobra Clutch! I don't know where Sadist has been in his recent absence and where he would have learnt that, but he's got it applied perfectly! As Flex tries in vain to fight against the sapping submission hold, Biff Atlas rushes in and starts to pepper JINGUS with rights and lefts to the kidneys. From behind, naturally. And naturally, when JINGUS manages to push Biff away and turns face to face Biff isn't quite so brave, begging for his life as JINGUS closes in... *SMACK!* ...but Biff suddenly springs to life and tumbles forward with a Spinning Wheel Kick, knocking JINGUS down against the ropes! With a sudden surge of courage, Biff then lines JINGUS up again, feeding off the support of the Edmonton crowd as he waits for JINGUS to climb back to his feet and then charges in looking for a clothesline... ...JINGUS ducks... ...BUT BIFF HANGS ON AND SAVES HIMSELF FROM ELIMINATION!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" BIFF SAVE ME JEBUS!! Clinging onto the ropes for dear life, Biff struggles to lever himself back onto the apron. JINGUS has virtually ignored Biff's plight though and turns to his partner, Sadist releasing his Cobra Clutch and pushing Flex forward, in order for JINGUS to charge. But Flex sees it coming, ducking his head... ...causing JINGUS to clothesline his partner... ...UP AND OVER THE TOP, TO THE FLOOR!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE That's it! JINGUS with the miscue and NRG get spot number one in the House Rules Relay! [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HELL'S HITMEN LEFT: 5th ELIMINATED: The Love Doctors ELIMINATED BY: Hell's Hitmen (Sadist by JINGUS) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] BUFFER Your winners of the Battle Royal... NUTRITION'S REAL GURUS... N... R... G!!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NRG TEH WINN0RZ~! ELIMINATED: The South Central Militia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] Biff finally loses his grip on the top rope and plummets to ringside as Flex slides out after him, dragging his partner towards the safety of the backstage area. Which is wise, as JINGUS looks set to kill. NRG celebrate all the same though as Sadist sits up on the outside, glaring up at his partner...and smiling. COLE NRG get room one and the only guaranteed shot at the 24/7 Title, while Hell's Hitmen will have to settle for room number two, which might just be the best spot. They'll get second pickings at you Bohemoth, assuming you make it past NRG. BOHEMOTH No sweat. COLE Well, Bohemoth very confident despite the prospect of twelve men, six teams, waiting on him at House Rules Relay. A man of few words, but much coolness. We'll be back after this break.

The highest rated show in Syndicated television, returns! And this time, it's a 2-Hour Special! [b][COLOR=blue]OAOAST SYNDICATED~![/b][/COLOR] [i]October 28th, 2006 - Check local listings[/i] As we return to HeldDOWN~! it seems we're already in progress, having missed the entrance of a former World Heavyweight Champion. Damn commercials. "It Ain't Over For Me" by Terrence Howard plays in the background as Stephen Joseph Popick stands in the centre of the ring impatiently waiting on his opponent for tonight. Behind him stands his bestest buddy Tha Puerto Rican, eyes also fixed on the entrance way as we go to Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia... he weighs two hundred, twenty five pounds... the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, SSSTTEEEEPPHHHEEEEENN... JJJOOOOOOOSSSSEEEEEEEPPHHHHHHH... PPOOOOOOOOPPIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!! Popick gets a surprisingly mixed reaction, considering his reputation as "The Most Hated Man in the OAOAST"™, but doesn't acknowledge the crowd what-so-ever. COLE Popick is fired up and who can blame him? After what went down last week, with Jamie O'Hara's offhand and off-colour comment towards PRL regarding World Without End, the situation between the two men has done nothing but escalate and now PRL's "Career Consultant" is stepping in to defend the honour of Tha Puerto Rican tonight. COACH Hold up a second. Is he his "Career Consultant" or his house husband? Defending his honour!? COLE Defending his honour. COACH Oh, brother. One loss and suddenly everybody's queing up to dry PRL's tears, someone makes a little quip towards him and everyone is up in arms. Since when did PRL's honour matter to you anyway!? You're such a hypocrite it's untrue. COLE I feel a lot more sympathy for Tha Puerto Rican since World Without End. No-one deserved to be on the end of that sort of situation. As PRL and Popick grow ever more frustrated in the ring, finally someone in the truck cues up the music of Jamie O'Hara. Storming through the entrance doors O'Hara is already talking that garbage as he makes his way down the aisle, Popick having to try and calm PRL down in the ring to convince him not to do anything stupid. BUFFER And his opponent. From Birmingham, England... he weighs one hundred, seventy pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJJJAAAAAAAAMMIIIIIEEEEEE... OOOOOOO'HHHHHAAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAA!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The brash youngster continues to jaw with Popick from the outside, climbing to the apron... but jumping right back down as PRL threatens to attack! O'Hara protests to referee Nick Patrick and demands that he get rid of PRL before he gets into the ring. But PRL isn't going to go without a fight, brushing Patrick away as he dares O'Hara to "bring it". "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" "P - R!" COLE This crowd want to see PRL and O'Hara go at it! COACH Too bad. O'Hara continues to stall as now Stephen Joseph steps in to calm his buddy down. Managing to talk some sense into Tha Puerto Rican, Popick guides PRL out of the ring... ...which allows O'Hara to sneak in and attack from behind!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDING!* As the bell is frantically called for, O'Hara lays in some forearms across the back of Stephen Joseph as on the outside PRL struggles to keep his cool, slamming his hands into the apron and complaining to referee Patrick about the sneak attack. There's nothing Patrick can really do now though, as O'Hara turns Popick around and connects with the forearms to the face. COLE O'Hara gets the jump on the former World Champion before the bell and he has no qualms what-so-ever about using shady tactics to gain an advantage. COACH You could say the same about Popick. Or PRL. A series of five forearms back Popick into the ropes, O'Hara sending him off the other side with an irish whip and connecting with a textbook standing dropkick as SJP bounces back. O'Hara plays it up for the fans which further infuriates PRL, yelling at Popick to get back up. And he does just that while O'Hara backs into a corner and waits on him to turn around. Still looking a little dazed, Popick doesn't even attempt an attack as J-OH brushes past him in his way towards the opposite corner of the ring, vaulting to the middle rope and moonsaulting... ...over Popick, who retracts his head just in time. To his credit O'Hara lands on his feet and again talks some smack to the crowd about his superior smarts... *SLAP!* "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" ...but a vicious SLAP upside the head from Popick destroys a few of those precious braincells and sends O'Hara retreating to the floor! COLE Well that ought to put O'Hara in his place! O'Hara whines about the slap on the floor but he doesn't have much time to do so, as PRL starts to stride around ringside in his direction. Quickly Jamie rolls back into the ring, but right into Popick who boots him upside the head, hauling the youngster to his feet and pinning his arms over the top rope... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...for a knifedge chop, lighting up the pasty Brit! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Another chop connects, causing O'Hara to yelp in pain! Popick pulls the arms off the ropes and wrings out the right arm, setting up an irish whip which sends O'Hara hurtling across the ring. Before he hits the opposite ropes though O'Hara tucks and rolls, coming up short of the ropes which brings a big smile to his face. A big smile which is soon wiped off by Popick as he charges in with a clothesline, turning The Birmingham Bad Boy inside out! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a clothesline from Popick! He put everything behind that one! COACH What's with all the animosity here? People need to learn how to take a damn joke. COLE How anyone could find what happened at World Without End funny is beyond me. O'Hara crawls to the corner looking for a reprieve, but is followed in by Popick. Pulling O'Hara to his feet, SJ rams him face-first into the top turnbuckle. With another irish whip Popick then looks to send O'Hara into the opposite corner, this time finding no counter from the Brit and charging in after him. However, O'Hara is able to plant his hands on the top rope and floats up and over the on-rushing Stephen Joseph, landing stylishly on his feet and instantly turning to run off the ropes. Popick manages to avoid colliding sternum first with the turnbuckles and turns around, just in time to see O'Hara soaring towards him with a spinning wheel kick and in time to duck underneath, causing O'Hara to crash and burn! COLE There's the veteran experience from the former World Champion. Pulling himself back up, O'Hara stumbles into a boot to the gut from Popick, who quickly wrenches the neck up over his shoulder and drives J-OH down with a Neckbreaker! The lower half of Jamie's body eventually follows, not in time to avoid getting folded up awkwardly on his neck, prompting Popick to make a quick cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Popick slowly drags O'Hara to his feet, popping him with a forearm to the side of the head on the way up. Spinning his man around, Popick then sets up for a back suplex, getting O'Hara up but losing control in mid-air, as O'Hara flips over and lands safely on his feet behind him. Quickly Popick throws a back elbow, but O'Hara ducks that and lands a quick boot to the gut before putting the badmouth on SJ and telling him it's "payback time, bitch". A wrench of the neck sets up the neckbreaker... but Popick reaches up and breaks the grip and instead drops Jamie with another neckbreaker of his own! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE So much for that tactic. Another cover by Popick... 1... 2... No, kickout! Rolling over, Popick now stalks around O'Hara, waiting for him to recover. PRL C'mon Popick, break his damn neck! COACH HEY! Come on, you can't condone that! COLE PR has every right to be angry, Coach. He's the innocent in all this, for once. With his friend's words ringing in his ears Popick creeps up behind O'Hara and applies a Sleeper as he gets back to his feet! "YYEEEEEEAAAA..." As soon as he feels the move sunk in though, O'Hara rushes for the corner and drops to his knees, the momentum sending a helpless Popick lurching forward and face-first into the middle turnbuckle, to the despair of Tha Puerto Rican who stands just inches away on the floor. "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH There we go! Great leverage move from J-OH! As Popick lies slumped face-down on the middle buckle, up clambers O'Hara, putting the boots to the back of Stephen Joseph before smushing his face into the buckle with a knee! Another knee! And a third, this time pinning down on the back of the head and attempting to smother Popick! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU - " O'Hara breaks on four, not saving him from a warning from the referee. COLE Last week Jamie O'Hara was on the losing end of the big main event, The Hooligans dropping the 6-Man Tag Team Championships to Team Canada, thanks to The Wildcards. And as much as Popick and PRL have a lot of pent up frustration tonight, Jamie O'Hara must have too. COACH J-OH's always got something pent up! He's always up for a fight, dawg! COLE 'Word.' With the cocky smile back on his face Jamie lets PRL hear it as he backs Popick into the corner, stomping away repeatedly at the midsection before stopping to favour his neck. That almost gives Popick a window back into the match as he comes out of the corner swinging with right hands. But in the midst of the flurry, O'Hara sneakily jabs him in the eyes, unseen by the referee but certainly seen by PRL who leaps to the apron to complain. That only serves to distract Nick Patrick though, allowing O'Hara to slip off one of his Nikey trainers and quickly clock Popick in the face with the heel behind the referee's back! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE He hit him with his shoe! Give me a break! COACH You can kick with the shoe, so why not that? Nothing wrong with that in my book. As PRL's complaints continue to fall on deaf ears he goes back to the floor frustratedly. O'Hara quickly drops the evidence and scrambles on top of Popick with a cover, as Patrick slides into position... 1... 2... Shoulder up! 2 count is confirmed, in doing so Patrick stumbling upon a discarded trainer (or sneaker, whatever). O'Hara innocently claims that it 'fell off' though and puts it back on, while Popick rolls into a corner to pull himself back up. COLE Referee none the wiser. Let's just hope Patrick doesn't see the Nike tick embedded in Popick's forehead. With both shoes back on O'Hara now goes back on the attack, charging across the ring and launching in with a big flying elbow attack in the corner! Bouncing off of Popick, O'Hara taunts PRL and almost luring him back into onto the apron, The Corporate Champion barely keeping his cool as O'Hara launches in with a Stinger Splash to again crush Popick in the buckles. COLE That's one of PRL's moves! COACH He's got too many moves. Anyway, technically it's Sting's move. A snapmare puts Popick flat on his back now as O'Hara fiddles with his trainers, checking they're properly on before springing up off the canvas and twisting through mid-air with a STANDING CORKSCREW SENTON SPLASH!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH! OH! OH! OH! COLE Impressive acrobatics from Jamie O'Hara! Popick rolls around kicking his feet as O'Hara teases PRL and tells him plain and simple, "you can't do that, boi!", before following up with the cover... 1... 2... ...two count only! COLE That was a bit of a rookie mistake there, taking far too long to follow up with the pinfall attempt. COACH Doesn't matter. J-OH's got it all in hand, trust me. COLE I'd be surprised if your own mother trusted you. And she doesn't know what you get up to after he shows either. A little annoyed with the count, O'Hara follows up with a STANDING 450 SPLASH, right into the cover again... 1... 2... NO! O'HARA You gotta be shittin' me ref! COLE I remember when we used to be a family show. Those were the days. With more stomps O'Hara looks to soften Popick up as he struggles back up to his feet, finding himself caught in a front facelock as Jamie sets up for a vertical suplex. Even with a wide bade O'Hara can't get Popick up though, the former World Champion blocking the lift. O'Hara tries again, but again Popick blocks. Third time is usually the charm. But not on this occassion as Popick suddenly gets a grip on O'Hara's baggy pants and hoists him clean into the air, throwing him forward and gut-first over the top ring rope!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" O'Hara lays hung half in, half out over the top as Popick falls to his ass, catching a quick chance to collect himself. COLE O'Hara has been hung out to dry and the tide in this match may just have turned. COACH That can't be legal, can it? COLE No less legal than hitting someone with your shoe. "PO - PICK!" "PO - PICK!" "PO - PICK!" "PO - PICK!" COLE Wow, how surreal is that chant? With PRL's support bringing the crowd behind him, Popick moves in O'Hara and hooks him up, taking him off the rope with a suplex back inside! He then floats over, right into the cover... 1... 2... ...but O'Hara kicks out! Back up, Popick pulls O'Hara up to face him before popping him with a right hand. Another. Three, four, five... and a big sixth, O'Hara slumping backwards, the ropes the only thing holding him up now. Popick grabs the arm and launches O'Hara across with another irish whip now, picking him up on the rebound and jarring him with a quick Inverted Atomic Drop, centre ring. Off the ropes comes Popick as O'Hara favours his lower regions and he takes O'Hara over with a Swinging Neckbreaker, the quick combo setting up another pinfall attempt... 1... 2... Kickout again! COLE Popick is building the momentum here and I still can't get over it... the crowd seem to be on Popick's side. COACH Pity is such a pathetic thing, huh? On the outside PRL looks on anxiously, chomping at the bit and wishing he could get involved in the match. Legally, that is. For now it's down to Popick though as he sets O'Hara up, spiking him across the knee with a regular atomic drop. Sweeping out the legs, Popick then hooks O'Hara in a wheelbarrow and looks for the suplex, flipping O'Hara up... ...but all the way over, O'Hara somersaulting behind Popick and landing on his knees behind. Before Popick knows what's happened O'Hara then gives him a shove in the rear, sending him sprawling forward and sternum first into the turnbuckles! Back stumbles Stephen Joseph and O'Hara tugs him down into a quick schoolboy roll-up, stacking SJP up his shoulders... 1... ...O'HARA GRABS THE TIGHTS... 2... NOOOO!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" O'HARA YOU WOT!? O'Hara takes issue with the count, while PRL takes issue with the illegal tights pulling. All this issue taking threatens to turn hostile, so Patrick orders everyone to calm themselves down. COLE O'Hara almost stole one there! COACH He almost beat a former World Champion is what he did. COLE With the tights. COACH So what? Back on the offence, O'Hara connects with a series of forearms on Popick to set him up for an irish whip. That tactic doesn't work though as Popick reverses out of the whip and pulls O'Hara in, landing a knee to the gut and locking on a full nelson from the front. Grabbing the throat, Popick then lifts O'Hara up for the Synchronicity Bomb... ...O'Hara tries to counter with a 'rana... ...but Popick pushes him off. Flipping onto his feet O'Hara safely lands in front of Popick with tremendous agility. Popick stuns O'Hara with a boot though, hooking on the front full nelson again and HITTING the Synchronicity Bomb!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Got him that time! 1... 2... NO, KICKOUT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Yeah, c'mon J! COLE Kickout at two from O'Hara and you can feel the frustration radiating off of PRL! COACH And Popick. Rolling back to his feet, Popick contemplates going up to the top rope, but at that moment O'Hara lunges forward with a punch to the gut and changes his priorities a little. Popick drops the point of the elbow into the back of The Birmingham Bad Boy's neck, not once but twice, before hoisting him up... *SLA - AP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and hitting a big double chop to the chest! Down goes O'Hara, gasping for air, as Popick gives the signal that it's OVAH~! POPICK FALLEN ANGEL! "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" COLE Christopher Daniels not in the building tonight, to the best of my knowledge, which leaves just one option. Popick's looking to end it here. COACH I still don't get the cheering. With PRL encouraging him to get on with it, Popick pulls O'Hara up with a front facelock applied, throwing the arm over and setting for the lift. O'Hara tries to fight out with some sharp jabs to the gut, but Popick fires back with some jabs of his own. And Popick's jabs do the job, softening J-OH up again. Grabbing the waistband of the track pants Stephen Joseph sets again and lifts O'Hara up, up, until O'Hara is completely vertical... BUT O'HARA SLAMS HIS KNEE INTO POPICK'S HEAD! COLE OH! What a counter! O'Hara lands on his feet and spins out of the loose front facelock, leaping up... *SMACK!* ...and connecting with a Step-Up Enziguri! Popick stumbles and staggers but manages to stay on his feet somehow, albeit with a far-away look in his eyes. Quick as a flash O'Hara scrambles to the corner and up to the middle rope, soaring off with a front Missile Dropkick between the shoulder blades of Popick that sends him uncontrollably flying forward, unable to come to a stop before colliding with the middle turnbuckle on the other side of the ring! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Second time in the match that Stephen Joseph has eaten that middle turnbuckle! Out of the corner wanders Popick, getting bypassed by O'Hara. With ease O'Hara vaults to the middle rope and moonsaults back overhead, this time catching Popick's head on the way over for the Inverted DDT... ...but Popick CATCHES HIM... ...and runs him into the turnbuckles spine-first, before turning back centre ring and planting him with a Running Powerslam!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Oklahoma Stampede!? COACH Can Popick even spell Oklahoma? Despite being clearly dazed, Popick has enough wits about him to hear PRL's calls and drop on top of O'Hara with the cover... 1... 2... 3- -KICKOUT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wow, that was mighty close there! Popick climbs back up with O'Hara in hand, but O'Hara lands a punch that looks suspiciously low, which turns the tables in a hurry. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Ooh! The referee looked out of position there! COACH It was above the belt, don't worry. Not agreeing is PRL and he leaps up to the apron to complain to referee Nick Patrick, while O'Hara sets Popick up. As he sees PRL on the apron though O'Hara changes his mind and quickly switches, pulling Stephen Joseph around with him and irish whipping him across the ring... ...reversal... ...reversal again...and Popick collides with PRL!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" PRL takes a spill to the floor as out stumbles Popick, into another irish whip by O'Hara... ...NO, reversal again! O'Hara bounces back and Popick swings with a clothesline, O'Hara ducking underneath and keeping his run going. On the rebound O'Hara ducks underneath another high swing from SJP and again hits the ropes. Popick is the one to evade this time though as he leapfrogs over top, O'Hara making another trip across the ring and rebounding back. Already a step ahead, up goes Popick for the leapfrog again. O'Hara is a step ahead of the step ahead however and slides to a halt underneath... ...AND POPICK COMES DOWN CROTCH-FIRST INTO O'HARA'S RAISED BOOT!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HEY! HEY! COACH That looked accidental... Popick doubles over clutching his crotch as O'Hara quickly shuffles around and executes a small package... 1... COLE No... 2... COLE No... 3!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE DAMNIT! He stole it! COACH He pinned the former World Champion! The crowd don't like it, understandably, as Patrick sticks by his judgement call to rule the lowblow unintentional and signals for the bell. BUFFER Your winner of this contest... JJAAAAMMMMIIIIEEEE... OOOOOO'HHAAARRRAAAAAAAA!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With a smug smile on his face O'Hara accepts the handraise from the referee... ...but that smile is short-lived, as PRL re-enters the ring and tackles him to the canvas, mounting O'Hara and peppering him with furious right hands!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE PRL HAS SNAPPED! *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and as usual, it does no good as PRL continues to lay the smackdown on O'Hara! Standing up from the mount position, PRL lays in the shaky leg kicks with the crowd solidly behind him, piefacing referee Nick Patrick down as he tries to intervene. *DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!* Grabbing O'Hara by his scruffy vesttop PRL pulls O'Hara up, shaking him around a little before ducking under-arm and PLANTING HIM WITH THE LATIN SLAM!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Latin Slam by PRL! COACH This is uncalled for! This is unf'ncalled for!! COLE Paybacks are a bitch for Jamie O'Hara! PRL looks down at O'Hara after the Latin Slam in satisfaction... and lays in the shaky leg kicks again!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!* COACH Come on, get some people out here! Stop this! The kicks keep raining down and start to send O'Hara across the ring, eventually stomping O'Hara across and all the way out of the ring as he finally manages to get away. PRL thinks about following but O'Hara is scrambling towards the back, so the fired up Puerto Rican climbs to the middle rope and watching The Birmingham Bad Boy retreat. COLE O'Hara picks up the win, maybe the biggest win of his career, but in the end it's PRL who gets the glory at the end of this night! The Birmingham Bad Boy has been sent scurrying for cover and I think that was just a taster. I've got to believe that somewhere down the line, PRL wants Jamie O'Hara and he wants some complete payback!

Since when did anyone say anything about putting anyone over? Jacques said that Nash lost to them, you said he didn't, he proved you wrong and you and 'HTQuality Control' ran down Nash for the next 6 posts for some reason. The way he said it was pretty retarded, but still. Wrong. If he was given the chance (kinda like with the Jackass gimmick, only, you know, better) then he'd be able to show his charisma. At the moment he and most of the X Division are having enough problems trying to get noticed on ten minutes screen time, if they're lucky, a week. Watching Sabin in somewhere like PWG is so different from watching him in TNA, it's almost untrue.

That's never stopped us before. Continuity is great when you only use it sometimes.

Cut to: The make-up table. JADE Sooo? MELODY Sooo? I'm unfamiliar with that particular spelling. You mean 'so', singular 'o', yes? JADE How do you know how I spelt it? Eyes popping open, Melody baulks a little. MELODY Can somebody pick up that fourth wall for me? That's great, thanks. So, what did you mean by 'Sooooo'? JADE It was actually 'Sooo', with three Os. But, I think you know exactly what I mean. You and [i]The Meterosexual Monster[/i]? MELODY Who? JADE Bohemoth. MELODY ... JADE The guy with the belt and the orange glasses. MELODY Oooohhhh! That guy! Bohemoth? No wonder he didn't tell me his name. Yowzas! What kind of a parent calls their possibly only child 'Bohemoth'? I'll tell you who, a world destroying Republican! Lemme tell you from experience missy, they don't know the meaning of the word party. They oughta be called The Republican Crossword and Eye-Wateringly Boring Speeches Guys. They had the nerve to invite me to one of their 'party meetings', they didn't play one Euro dance track all night! In the end, I had to down my entire pocket flask in one go just to survive with my sanity. Schnaps is strong. Trust me. The rest of that night is something I'd rather forget. Lousy Democrats, always trying to tell us what to do. Who the hell do they think they are? Can I get a rewind? Bohemoth's a dumb name. What is he, like, a washing powder or something? Fo' sheez, Rodeeez. They should have called him something more hawt, like 'Ramoné' or 'Jaguar' or somethin'. JADE ...yeah, yeah. So, are you gonna see him again? Standing up from the make-up chair, Melody shrugs her shoulders, roughing her hair up in the small mirror on the desk in front of her. MELODY Oh, I dunno. Depends what the writers want I guess. JADE That's not a very sturdy fourth wall around you. MELODY These geekazoids know the 411, get with the program. Besides that though, I like to hit 'em and quit 'em. JADE Shouldn't that be the other way around? MELODY Yes and no. I like punching. JADE Uh-huh. Seeming happy with the shade of blusher, or something, Jade stands up and fixes her skirt. MELODY Maybe you should pimp your ride and see if he climbs aboard. Then sleep with him. Dig? JADE Me!? MELODY Oh come on. If you didn't wanna be Bo's ho, you wouldn't wanna know 'bout Bo. I assume he likes being called Bo, I only heard his name twenty-six seconds ago. Break the ice with that. Tell him you like the smell of sterilised needles maybe. JADE Mel, I'm only 18! Melody tilts her head curiously. MELODY Are you a mormon? You don't dress mormon. You don't smell mormon. JADE I just don't think he's in my league, ya know. MELODY That because you're a bore. JADE :O MELODY Don't get it twisted. Not a dirty hog thing that eats predominantly slime. I once dated a guy who got lost in a swamp. Couldn't take a haymaker so I ditched him. Man, this anecdote is almost as boring as you! Don't be hatin', but you are, for real. You're turning into a middle-aged trailor woman. Living in a trailor isn't really relevant, I add it for dramatic effect. Plus I like words. 18 is supposed to be the age of living fast and partying hard. You party fast and live hard. You've got it straight twisted lady. I told you not to get it twisted. Don't you know anything about Hollywood? You're young, rich, famous and you've got two guys doing all the work for you. Live! LIVE! Stay out all night drinking, visit a male strip club, starve yourself thin, get accused of shoplifting so your famous rockstar father has more reason to be ashamed of your sudden rebellion against Democratic life! Make a movie and don't show up to film it! Live! LIVE! Call yourself a Chicks Over Dicks member!? JADE ...no. MELODY And you never will without giving in to your adolenscent urge to run riot! Quit living vicariously through me and go find some guy that's named after a World War II fighter plane, rip off his fancy suit and shout "I'm 21 and prone to bouts of post-sexual amnesia! Take me now!" Treat life like one big soriety dorm! Sneak into a pay toilet! Ride a water slide without protective waterproof clothing! Eat your body weight in Cheetos and run through Times Square, singing "Is This The Way To Amarillo" in just your pyjamas while whacked out on vodka shot... As Melody disappears off into the distance, babbling away to herself, Jade sits back down and sighs. JADE That's one giant pot of crazy right there.

See, the problem with a lot of fans (the kind of people who text in to the newspaper in unintelligable language wanting McClaren strung up by the 'bll5') only complain when England lose or put in a bad performance. When England win, we're next World Champions. Most fans are so fickle. McClaren's gone from hero to zero, Beckham's gone from outcast to the missing link in the England team, all from one 0-0 draw. You watch, one win against Croatia and everybody will be praising "World Class" Frank Lampard as if nothing happened, Stewart Downing will be the new English hero and all the booing and crapping on someone playing for his country will be forgotten (Crouch, Hargreaves). At least Gerrard is suspended next game. I thought Beckham drifted in from the right too much, Gerrard was playing on the bloody left half the match.

They're probably just treading water with the guy until they come up with something more definate post-Nana. Nana was such a huge part of Jimmy's character and repetoire for a good couple of years that it'll take time for people to get used to Rave solo. Either that or they're gonna can him.

Better yet, he cut a promo afterwards. Always good.

One question. Do markers have the stats to hand while they mark matches? Do they read them whatsoever before marking either? I never take the numbers all that seriously myself, I just wonder if they make a difference at all to whoever's marking or not.