King Cucaracha

In what way?

*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE Here we go! The crowd in the arena rise to their feet as through the HeldDOWN~! entrance doors of sliding doom, looking as ice cool as ever, Bohemoth strides into view. The shades are on. The suit is off. The body oil is applied. And The Meterosexual Monster is ready for a fight this week as he strides down the aisle towards the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, on his way to the ring is the challenger! Hailing from Greenville, South Carolina... he weighs two hundred, eighty four pounds... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bo jogs up the ring steps and enters the ring, removing the orange tinted glasses for the first time and handing them safely to referee Nick Patrick. COLE And Bohemoth has come dressed to fight tonight! Last week on HeldDOWN~!, Landon Maddix laid out an invitation to anyone in the OAOAST locker room to challenge him for the 24/7 Title. Just like tonight, Bohemoth came out with a match in mind, but Maddix had other ideas... [I][COLOR=pink]OAOAST BACKTRACKER, is brought to you by Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties...[/I][/COLOR] [QUOTE] Megan screams at the crowd to shut up, but predictably they don't. Taking a moment to recompose himself, Landon takes a few deep breaths and waits for the arena to quieten down a little, Bo watching on impatiently from the ring. MADDIX But... you need to realise who I am. I'm Landon Maddix. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX See, I'm a marquee superstar in this sport. Not just here, but around the wrestling world. My name alone sells tickets. My name fills arenas. My name spikes ratings and it pops buyrates. I'm not just going to get into that ring unadvertised and 'give away' a 24/7 Title defence, just because you're feeling a little frisky, no no. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE You've got to be kidding me! COACH Hey, I hate to say it but he's got a point. MADDIX And besides that, I've got a big match on Sunday. So, if you want a shot at this 24/7 Title, then fine. I'll oblige you. I'm not afraid of bigmen. I've beaten men bigger and badder than you. I'll give you your shot. Just not tonight. Bohemoth's eyes roll under his glasses. After all, they always say that. MADDIX I'll give you your match, live, next week on HeldDOWN~! 24/7 Title on the line. No false promises. You and me, one on one. When it's worthwhile to me. In the meantime, you just... you go back and... lift some more weights, shop for some more suits, whatever it is you do with your spare time. See you in a week. Goodnight Memphis! [/QUOTE] Back to live action and Bohemoth has re-watched this footage, with the crowd, on the AngleTron, which has only seemed to make him more eager to get on with the match. COLE Well, one week later and hopefully Landon's got all the ratings he was hoping for. COACH And, therefore, more money for us. COLE I don't think it works like that Coach. He might earn himself some more money. Although, if he comes up on the losing end to Bohemoth tonight, he'll be missing out on visiting the almighty pay window after tonight's show anyway. For now, there seems to be no sign of Landon, Bohemoth keeping his cool about it for the time being, being the cool customer that he is. BUFFER And, introducing his opponent... "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!" As "Personal Jesus" cues up, the crowd show aren't shy about making their feelings known, turning the arena into a cauldron of less than welcoming noise for the 24/7 Champion. Leading the way is Megan Skye, as usual. But unlike usual, the charge that follows her out isn't smiling, or posturing, or generally being a cocky SOB. With a noticeable limp in his step, Landon Maddix steps through the entrance doors. The hair on the top of his head is lying awkwardly, as the scalp beneath it has been stitched together. His right shoulder is obviously strapped up underneath his shirt. And there's a grimace on his face, as Megan is cleary concerned for her man, shooing away the cameraman in front of the duo. BUFFER He is accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE! Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain. He weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds... the reigning, defending OAOAST 24/7 Champion... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Getting zero percent sympathy from the fans, Landon gingerly manoeuvres down to the ring, dragging his 24/7 Title limply behind him. Maddix slowly climbs up the steps, Megan ensuring Bohemoth keeps his distance while Landon stops and favours his shoulder. COLE For those of you unaware, on Sunday night, Landon Maddix competed for the SWF at their premiere, showpiece event Genesis VII in a Steel Cage Match. And as you can see, despite winning that match, he's still carrying the scars and wounds from that brutal encounter. COACH No kidding. Maybe Maddix is burning the candle at both ends a little. COLE Either way, he's in for a tough night tonight. Landon still remains on the apron while Megan takes the ring mic from Michael Buffer, handing it caringly to her man. It seems even clenching his knuckles to grip a microphone is a task too much for Landon. That may have something to do with the camera pointed right at him, not that I, your humble narrator, would ever accuse him of milking an injury for sympathy. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" *clap clap clapclapclap* MADDIX I haven't said anything yet you morons! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MADDIX Now, I... "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" *clap clap clapclapclap* With barely the energy to argue, Maddix hangs his head on the top turnbuckle. Bohemoth is getting a tad impatient now and quickly Megan shuffles Landon down the ring steps to the floor, knowing that the referee can't really hold Bo back in a 24/7 Rules match. MADDIX As you can all see, tonight, I am far from 100%. Last Sunday night, I went through... nay, I [i]endured[/i] one of the toughest matches of my life. Inside of a fifteen foot high, steel barred cage, I fought... and gallantly defeated, I might add... a convincted felon intent on and fully capable of manslaughter, at the grandest stage of them all, Genesis VII! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Anyone who saw that match knows the punishment I took. Both before and after the match. My head was split open. My blood stained the canvas. I had to be physically escorted from the ring, to the backstage area, unable to support my own body weight. All this, just 96 hours ago. So, with that in mind, it's my sad duty to present you, Nick Patrick, with this. Landon gives the signal to Megan, who reaches into the back pocket of her jeans and hands her man a note. Unravelling the paper, Landon clears his throat, Bo watching on in frustration. MADDIX A letter, penned from the desk of SWF Commisioner, Joseph Peters. In which, he writes, "After the events of SWF Genesis VII, it is my sad duty to inform you of injuries obtained by one half of our SWF World Tag Team Champions, for a fourth time I may add... who is also our two-time SWF World Heavyweight Champion, former SWF International Champion, three-time SWF ICTV Champion, two-time SWF USJL Champion, 2005 SWF Clusterfuck Winner and 2004 Cold Front Classic Winner. Therefore, we regretful notify you that he will not be able to fulfill his commitments for this Thursday's edition of OATTOAST "HellTown". On behalf of the SWF, we apologise for any inconvenience. Signed, Joseph Peters, Smartmarks Wrestling Federation Commisioner." COLE Well, at least it wasn't from his mommy. But, still, give me a break! Bohemoth is unimpressed to say the least. Cautiously, Landon passes the note into the ring for Patrick to check. But before he can do so, the note is promptly shredded into pieces by Bo, dusting his hands in satisfaction as Landon tries not to flip out on the floor. "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE So much for the note. MADDIX You know what... note or no note, it doesn't matter. The simple fact is, I'm not medically cleared to compete here tonight. So, with that cleared up, I've got a massage table with my name on it, you're screwed, goodbye. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd let Landon have it as he drops the microphone and calls Megan over to help him, as he backs up the rampway, keeping a close eye on Bohemoth as he stares from the ring with his natural cool being severely tested. But suddenly, as Landon begins to retreat, the fans start to go wild, at the sight of two figures rushing down the ramp and simultaneously grabbing Maddix by the hair, no disregard for his injuries as they pitch him into the ring. 'They' being SCOTTY STATIC and JOHNNY JACKSON. "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Wait...The GPX!? The hell? COLE Johnny Jax and Scotty Static have just thrown Landon to the lions! Clambering up to his feet with the ropes used for assistance, Maddix turns out to The GPX and points the finger in their direction, nursing his right shoulder as he screams blue murder at two thirds of the 6-Man Tag Team Champions. However, they just smile. And point back. Slowly, Landon comes to the realisation of where he is and his mouth stops motoring as he looks up at the AngleTron in fear, noticing Bohemoth behind him and turning meekly around...into a MURDERLINE~! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" As Maddix flops around on the canvas, The GPX are content to walk away, leaving Landon to face his payback. Grabbing a handful of blond hair, Bohemoth drags the 24/7 Champion off the canvas and grabs the wrist, throwing him into the turnbuckles with a hard irish whip! Maddix hits the buckles and wobbles slowly out, struggling to keep his balance, as Bo does a 360, surveying the crowd. Thumbs up. Thumbs DOOOOOOWN~! COLE Good news for Landon, I think the ratings just spiked! That's about all the good news though. As he stumbles towards the centre of the ring, Maddix tries to hold up his hands and seek some sympathy. But that's a futile exercise, as Bohemoth knocks the hands away and scoops Landon up into his arms like a small child. Another 360 follows, Bohemoth parading the 24/7 Champion for all to see... before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! COACH What the hell is going on!? Is this even a match? COLE Not for much longer. With his eyes locked on Megan, making sure she doesn't plan on making a save, Bohemoth places a hand on Landon's chest... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE We've got a new champion! "Liberate" strikes up again and the crowd erupt, as Bohemoth calmly pushes back to his feet. Referee Nick Patrick retrieves the 24/7 Title from the floor and slides back into the ring, handing the belt to The Meterosexual Monster who raises it high overhead. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your NEW 24/7 CHAMPION... BBOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEMMMOOOOOOOTHHHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well, Landon might not have been cleared to compete tonight, but no doctor's note or note from a Commisioner is going to cover having to defend a championship twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. And official match or not, the result is the same. Bohemoth has defeated Landon Maddix and is your new 24/7 Champion! COACH Man, I don't know about this. COLE It's in the record books, Coach. COACH I know, I know. But... I mean, Landon's an SWF guy, but even so, I'm not so sure this is right. Landon was clearly injured and he didn't stand a chance against Bo tonight. COLE The belt's on the line, 24/7. Bo was promised a 24/7 Title match tonight and this was the next best thing. And he's got The GPX to thank. COACH Yeah, what the hell was that all about? COLE Landon interfering in their Hooligan Street Fight two weeks ago maybe? COACH Yeah, but Landon [i]helped[/i] The GPX... well, sorta anyway. COLE Whatever the reasoning, Bohemoth is the new 24/7 Champion and we're heading for another commercial break.

"Ladies and gentlemen, by escaping the cage and touching the floor first, your winner of this contest... ...LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMMAAAAADDIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!!!!" "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "WHAT!?!" howls King, the same reaction coming out of Gabriel Drake's mouth as "The Game" by Disturbed thunders through the arena. Lying in a crumpled heap on the arena floor, Landon Maddix sure doesn't look like a winner. But his celebrations are being taken care of by Megan, patting her man carefully on the back in the midst of jumping around in glee. The fans are going wild now, all the more delighted at Gabriel Drake's prompt flipping out, chasing away referee Mark Hebner as he tries to explain what happened. "Referee Hebner made the call and Landon Maddix hit the floor first, apparantly!" Mak exclaims, around the chaos surrounding him. "I don't know at what personal cost, but he did hit the floor first!" "This... that can't be right... THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT!" "Landon sacrificed himself to win the match, he sacrificed his body with a suicide dive to the floor...a monumental risk, but a match winning riskall the same!" "Who the HELL does a dive through the ropes, KNOWING that he'll hit nothing but the concrete floor!? WHO!?" "Landon Maddix?" "A damn SPOT-MONKEY!" King again howls, almost as beside himself with rage as Gabriel Drake, who picks up Funyon's abandoned steel chair and HURLS it into the side of the cage. "This is ridiculous... I can't believe he won." "But he did, Brian. He might know it yet, but when Landon comes to his senses, he will know that he won here at Genesis VII in a grue...hey, HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!" The sudden outrage from Mak comes as Gabe, absolutely fuming, storms across the ring and barges the concerned figures of Megan Skye and Sexton Hardcastle out of the way, hovering over the still motionless Maddix. And with teeth gritted, growling under his breath, Drake reaches down and hauls Maddix back up to his feet. The crowd nearest the action are booing away. The whole crowd eventually, as Drake scoops Maddix up over his shoulder for all to see... "NOOO!" *CLANG!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ...AND TORPEDOES MADDIX INTO THE SIDE OF THE CAGE!!! "DAMNIT, COME ON!" is Mak's howl, the only howls from King's microphone being those of satisfied laughter. "The match is over! This is completely uncalled for!" "You go tell him that! And while you're there, I'd recommend a good wheelchair outlet to 'Megs', because her man is gonna need one!" Landon goes limp from the battering ram like collision with the steel, falling from Gabe's arms. But The Beast isn't done, a posse of referees and members of security rushing down to ringside, but not making enough ground down the long entrance ramp to prevent Drake from picking Landon up again... *CLANG!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ...AND PITCHING HIM INTO THE WALL AGAIN, THIS TIME BACK OF THE HEAD FIRST!!! Maddix rebounds off the cage with disgusting force, falling face-first onto the arena floor right at Drake's feet. With a sick, satisfied smile, Drake looks down as the referees and officials crowd around, stepping in between the maniac and his victim. Most concerned is Megan Skye as she fights her way through to check on her man, risking her own neck as Drake continues to glare down at the duo...before finally, he decides he's made his point and with the referees still crowding him out, he turns and begins to walk to the back. "GA - BRI - EL SUCKS!" "GA - BRI - EL SUCKS!" "GA - BRI - EL SUCKS!" "GA - BRI - EL SUCKS!" "There's your real winner!" claims King, over the chants of the crowd. "Man, this is why I love Genesis, always a satisfying ending!" "Jesus Brian, come on. I know you don't like the kid but you can't condone that kind of action, surely!? Gabriel Drake has no business being here if he's this much of a loose cannon. Michael Stephens was right, Joseph Peters really needs to take a look at this guy, because having him on the roster might be a huge mistake..." "How? He nearly beat a former World Champion at Genesis! How is he anything but good for the company. That guy is going places Mak, whatever you think." "We're going to need some help out here for Maddix." sighs Mak, ignoring his partner's ramblings. "In the meantime, let's take you to something else. You might have to use your imaginations."

Landon/Drake is in and holy crap I actually won!? Awesome. Although, the ending's been trimmed off so I'll post that up seperately for posterity.

Ok, neato. Thanks for the clear-up.

This has probably all been explained before, but my memory sucks. Just for clarification and for no particular reason, at least in the short-term... 1) The champion chooses the stipulation of all the matches? Does it have to be beforehand, or at any time during a match? 2) Is the champion free to change the name of the belt when he wins it (Puerto Rican, Italian, Heartland)? And if so, does the design of the belt change?

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Groaning, Landon Maddix sits up in his hotel bed, bedsheets hiding his lower shame and also treating female viewers to a shot of his rock-hard abs~! Of course, there's no women reading this, so maybe I should just move on. It's February 15th! And anyone with a memory that's far too advanced for human lifeforms will of course remember that that means it's Landon Maddix's birthday! Judging from the pile of cards, some opened some not, on the bed beside Landon, he's done pretty well for himself despite being a completely despised bastard. Sure, a few of them were sarcastic and downright spiteful and one of them had that weird, itchy plant in it...but hey, at least they remembered! "Who in their right mind buys talking cards?" groans Landon, wiping the sleep from his eyes to read the contents of the card. "'Happy Birthday, from your bestest buddy...Alan Clark.' Figures." Maddix tosses the card into his happily titled 'Enemies' list. Reaching over the bed, Maddix then picks up another card and hurriedly tears the envelope away, to reveal a card which curiously reads 'Happy 50th Birthday'. "'Landon...sorry I couldn't get ya the proper card, mate, but it was short notice. They don't sell cards for 22 year olds I guess. 'Appy Birthday, Amy.' Heh, whadda ya know, she writes like she talks. 'P.S, I 'ad to run, but I'll see ya round.' Well, isn't that sweet." Landon places the card proudly on his bedside cabinet with a smile. "Everything's coming up Landon." "How do you figure that?" Looking up, Landon just now realises that he has some company. Standing in the doorway of the hotel room, Jay Hawke pushes his room service trolley off and out of sight down the hallway. Moments later, a loud crash can be heard accompanied by an agonised scream, both of which are ignored by the International Champion. "Uh...hey Jay. How are ya?" "I'm good." mumbles Jay offhand, glancing at the card beside Landon and wondering what idiots Landon knows to get a card wishing him a happy 50th. "I was good last time I saw you too...which was a pretty long time ago, now that I think about it. Question is, how are you? Or, better yet, what the hell is wrong with you recently?" "Why should anything be wrong?" "Well, where do I start? Me and JJ have seen nothing of you recently, your training sessions with us have dried up and we're worried about your behaviour. From the little we've seen of you in the past few weeks, you've been really scatty and we can't figure out why. You're running around here and there. It's like you're hiding something." "So, this is all about me missing some training sessions?" "No...but, JJ seems to think you're packing the whole thing in." "Well, JJ's wrong. I've been going through some personal stuff and...yeah, I've been having second thoughts about the whole re-generation thing. But that's all changing. I need you guys and your help again." Hawke sighs, sitting down on a chair in the corner of the room. "Listen, no offence Landon...but, give me reasons why we should. Ever since we formed Cucaracha Internacional, we've seen even less of you than when we had nothing to do with you." "...it's too early for me to understand sentences like that." "*sighs* What's the deal, Landon?" Suddenly all too eager, Maddix goes to get out of his bed and give Hawke a dramatic explanation. It's then that he realises he's not clothed and he just about manages to scramble backwards in time. "I've figured out a way to get my career back on track." "Okay...but, if it's about the World Title, then JJ..." "No, no, it's not about the World Title. Look, I've thought about that route, trust me. There's no way the SWF committee are gonna give me a World Title shot." Maddix pauses. "Well...I guess they might do, now everyone's caught up in that dumb Lethal Lottery tournament. But that's not the point. I've figured out what my problem is and it's not what I thought it was. Winning the Clusterfuck...it wouldn't have made any difference, because it's not the thing I need to gain revenge for. It's not about the World Title. I've won that before and I could win it again, once I sort my head out. The problem isn't me losing the World Title Match at From The Fire...it's WHO I lost to at From The Fire!" "Toxxic?" asks Jay, confused. "But he's..." "Missing, I know. But not for long." Hawke is still confused, as Maddix leans a little closer, still keeping himself mercifully covered up. "Keep this to yourself for now..." "You mean, apart from the camera man who's been standing in your en-suite hiding behind the door for the past who knows how long?" Looking up, Maddix curses under his breath. "Why do they alwas do that to me?" Maddix snaps, before conceding. "Okay, tell whoever you want. It's not like it's gonna stay secret for long anyway, considering what I'm gonna have to do to make the plan work." "Plan?" "Plan." "Which is." "Operation Get Toxxic Back!" smiles Landon. "Snappy name." "Hey, gimme a break here. It's my birthday and it's 7:20 in the morning, you're hardly gonna get Shakespeare now, are ya?" "True." accepts Jay. "So, what's the plan entail?" "If by 'entail' you mean 'me issuing a challenge to Toxxic on Storm', then that's exactly what it entails. I'm gonna go out to the ring and basically, I'm gonna call him out. And I'm gonna continue to call him out until he finally drags his punk-wannabee, flaming homosexual ass out of hiding and back to the SWF and faces me in a match. And believe me, he will. If I can get him back for From The Fire, then so be it. I'm sure Max King can cope with a TLC Match on his own, or he can get that Laberynth guy to tag with him, whatever. But, if he doesn't come back by From The Fire...no biggy. I'm just keep turning up the heat until he's forced to come back and 'avenge his mighty honour'. And when he comes back, I'm going to be so technically sound, with you and JJ's help, that I'm going to tie his spot-monkey ass in knots and kick the living crap out of him. And then, with him beaten and From The Fire avenged, I can get on with my career and everything will be just swell." ... "Also, I'm screwing his sister." "WHAT!?!" Hawke is shocked. So shocked infact that he involuntarily stands up, hands behind his head and eyes pinned on the ceiling. "AMY STEPHENS!?!" "Yep." Landon grins, checking his nails. "Oh no...no no no. You're not serious. Please, tell me you're not serious Landon." "Jeez, calm down Jay. Sure, she's not Miss Nottingham material...well, actually, she might be, I've never been to Nottingham. If it's anything like London then she's sex on legs, but that's not the point. She's not my usual type, that's for sure. But she's cute enough. Anyway, who are you to judge, Jay? When was the last type you had someone on your arm?" "That's not the POINT, Landon!! You're sleeping with Toxxic's sister!!" ... "Your point being?" "My point BEING, Toxxic's gonna come back..." "Exactly!" "...and then, he's gonna kill you!" despairs Hawke, halting Maddix for a moment. "Not to mention the probability he's gonna kill me and JJ first for simply being assocciated with you. Landon, this isn't name calling and this isn't goading someone into fighting you. This is personal. I don't know Toxxic all that well, but chances are if you're fooling around with his sister, he's gonna be pissed off. And, all this is assuming that SHE doesn't tear you limb from limb before her brother even gets chance. I mean...think this through for a minute here, please. You're 'involved' with Toxxic's sister, the same Toxxic you intend on drawing back to the SWF by hurling insults, threats and challenges at, whilst all the while you continue to be involved with said sister? And you see NOTHING wrong with this?" ... Hawke clearly brings up a good point and Maddix's bubble is on the verge of being burst. But, ever the blind optimist, Landon smirks at the clear discomfort Jay is in. "Not gonna happen. All she cares about is getting her brother back. She wins, I win, Toxxic gets his neck broken...everybody wins!" *groan* "Now, what have you and JJ got planned for the birthday celebrations then?" beams Landon, quickly changing the subject.

Hero and Claudio, Tag Champions. Fuck. Yes. I don't know how long ago I called it, but it's not a moment too soon either way.

Heavyweight, Tag, IronMan and Jnr. Heavyweight. Unless they've added any recently, that's all of them.

Us Brits should do one of these sometime and exclude the Americans. So basically, me, Toxx and Divefire I guess. And two of whom are confirmed as on dial-up. And, likely, none of whom anyone will understand anyway.

10.6k, done.

Yeah, I can't remember one where the trigger was actually pulled on that one. Goldust was explained away as 'unorthodox' and 'mind games to get an edge over competiton'. Ditto Rico. And they both had valets. Billy and Chuck was bait and switch. Sable and Torrie was all 'mind games' too. Unless you count the HLA segments, you might be right.

Well, NOAH officials were already going to be in attendence anyways with KENTA and Marufuji working the show, especially with the GHC Heavyweight title defense. So bringing other NOAH talents makes sense. It would appear to be the obvious sell to those workers and perhaps we'll even see some sort of angle develop from it as they haven't been shy about their intent to book these guys. That's the thing. If they're bringing these guys over, surely they'll be giving them matches of some sort, rather than just bringing them over to sign autographs (unless they're corner men). And if they are giving them matches, why aren't they announced from the get-go instead of 'some guys from Japan will sign some 8 by 10s if you gots the dough' and lo and behold, they get an last minute match? I'm not saying any of them well sell more tickets, because it's KENTA and Marafuji who are the intended draws. But still. Also, I've got my fingers crossed for Nigel to win the GHC Title, just to see some of the OTT Puro marks who are all uppity about the match heads explode with rage. And because Nigel is awesome. And British.

The Rane Memorial Trophy - For Most Impressive Career Muzz

OAOAST 24/7 Championship Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix © vs. Bohemoth

The sad thing is, Kingston's the CZW Champ now and I'm just about the biggest Kingston fan going. But CZW's booking is so shockingly terrible nowadays, it's hard to be excited about any of it. Infact, replace 'Kingston' with 'Jigsaw' and 'CZW Champ' with 'Jnr. Hv. Champ' I've got the exact same problem.

I've seen a fan strap match before and the fans just seemed a little afraid to actually do anything, nevermind trying to attack the workers. Either way, I can't see any good coming of the match.

Wait...they're bringing in guys from Japan to sign autographs?!

The Fallen Tag Team Trophy - For Tag Team of the Year The New Doomtopians Landon and Jay Hawke The Ace of Clubs Trophy - For Heel of the Year Tom Flesher The Grand Slam Trophy - For Face of the Year WC/Birdman The Cyclone Comet Trophy - For Promo Writer of the Year Jimmy The Doom/'Drea The Nathaniel Kibagami Trophy - For Promo of the Year A Maddix Christmas Carol~(?)!

Just to be sure, we're not actually voting yet, right?

The Jayson Grant Memorial Trophy - For Wrestler of the Year WC The Divefire Memorial Trophy - For Comeback Wrestler of the Year Grappler The Feud of the Year Award WC vs. Van Siclen The Rane Memorial Trophy - For Most Impressive Career WC

SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT/CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Michael Stephens © vs. Tom Flesher © -- Flesher, because if he can't win the title then no-one will. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - OLD SCHOOL RULES Bruce Blank © vs. "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke -- Toughie, so long as Hawke is 'properly' back. So far it's been a bit of a co-operative feud I think, so it's hard to tell. I'll go with Bruce. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- GRUDGE MATCH Wildchild vs. Mike Van Siclen -- Uh, WC. Duh. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- CAGE MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix © vs. "The Beast" Gabriel Drake -- Me, because I don't have to rush a finish just to get it in on Sunday. Or, alternatively, not me. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- FIRST BLOOD MATCH Johnny Dangerous vs. Charlie "Grappler" Matthews -- Depends who's active and who isn't. I'm assuming Supes is still semi-active, where-as Johnny I have no idea. So Supes. Plus Supes owns. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Jimmy the Doom © vs. The Crimson Skull -- Jimmy, because no way is it going an hour. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP #1 CONTENDERS MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu -- Again, it depends on activeness. Assuming Akira has the time to write, I say he pips it. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- MYSTERY MATCH "Deathwish" Danny Williams vs. ??? -- Nobody sane bets against the QMM. Nobody. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- FATAL FOURWAY ELIMINATION MATCH The Scion of Light vs. Scotty "The Crush" Raina vs. MANSON vs. Scott Rageheart -- One of the newbs. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS MATCH "The Unique Youth" Zyon vs. JJ Johnson -- Judging from his match last show, Zyon. Glad to see he hasn't disappeared altogether. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF FROST PRE-PPV SHOW SINGLES MATCH Ian vs. Larkin Special Guest Referee: THE BOSTON STRANGLER~! -- Thoth

Booker vs. Lashley~! Man, I've been waiting for this epic encounter since...when they stopped feuding...two months ago...after wrestling each other virtually every week for at least four months.

This should go before the segment with Landon. And if it doesn't, I'll just edit the show so it does. Test my gangsta. In the buzzing media centre of the building, we typically have a camera (hey, it is a media centre) fixed on the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant, D*LUX. Alongside manageress Jade Rodez, the duo are backstage with Josh Matthews, conducting a special interview on OAOAST.com. The internet's all the rage, dontcha know. They have it on computers now too. Anyway, this simple interview seems to be going without incident...until suddenly, Josh goes scampering out of his chair, backing quickly away as he spots two men approaching. Those two men being The GPX. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Normal service is resumed as The GPX are booed in the arena. Quickly Jade stands to protect her team and try to diffuse the situation, as Tyler and Shayne set their belts down, showing their ready to fight. STATIC Cool your jets there hotshots, we ain't here for a fight. JADE That makes a change. STATIC Shut u... Static stops himself in mid abuse, shaking it off. STATIC Just...just hear us out, wouldya. Listen, these past few weeks, we've been real hostile towards you kids and you know exactly why. It was about pride. About saving face. And about respect. See, we saw you two comin' out to the ring, boyband music playing you down, the people digging it like they used to with us. What were we supposed to think, understand? We just figured you were two newbie punks hanging off our reputation, without earning it. Scotty stops, turning to Jackson. It's almost as if this is paining Static to say, head hung for a moment before he finally looks up at the trio. STATIC Last week, you earnt our respect. Understandably, D*LUX seem a little surprised to hear this. But Static seems genuine enough and they don't call him on what he's saying. STATIC Hooligan Street Fight, that was our match. Our rules, how we do, how we conduct business every day of our lives dawgs. And you stuck with us in our environment. You stepped into our yard and you held ya own. We hit you upside the head, you hit us back just as hard. JAX [i]Nearly[/i] as hard. STATIC Okay, nearly as hard. But pretty dang hard. (points at Tyler) We damn near crushed you and hell, you didn't take it lying down. For long. You came back for more, dawg. Both of ya, you proved you ain't just two greenhorn kids who can't go. You gave as good as you got. So, as far as me an' Triple J are concerned, the issue's dealt with. We threw down and settled this, like men. And right now, there's only one thing left to do. Nodding to Jax, Static turns to D*LUX again and holds out his fist. Jax does the same, as Tyler and Shayne watch on curiously. STATIC Props. JAX Mad props. For a moment, the past few weeks of abuse run through the heads of the HI-YAH Tag Champions and they seem a little wary of getting within striking distance of The GPX. But they do trust their manager's judgement. And on the encouragement of Jade, they reach out and pump fists with Johnny and Scotty, signalling some mutual respect between the two teams. STATIC You ain't gotta worry about us jumpin' you or trying to run you outta town no more. Maybe we'll meet again. And next time, it ain't gonna be about respect because you've earnt that already. And listen, we gotta say, we had absolutely NOTHING to do with that SWF chicken*bleep* doin' what he did. We're as pissed as you gotta be about it. JADE Well, we didn't think you had anything to do with it. Going through me to get to my brother, I guess. JAX Whatever his deal, he made a mistake tarnishing a GPX match, ya dig. STATIC Yeah. Anyway, look, we did what we came to do, so we're sorry about how it went down in the end but, it did end. If there's a next time, hopefully it'll be straight up two to two, no outside intervention crap. JADE Thanks Scotty. The pleasantry throws Static off a little and without a way to respond properly, he just turns and leaves, dragging Jax with him. This is the cue for Captain Bravery Josh Matthews to come back over to resume his interview, as Jade pats her team on the back for handling the situation so well. *Back to the arena!* COLE Wow. The GPX, showing some respect to D*LUX. We saw them go through one hell of a match last week against each other and evidently, the newcomers struck a cord with Static and Jackson. Some rare humility shown by The GPX. COACH Rare humility? C'mon Mikey, The GPX ain't shy about handing out the props when deserved. COLE Ebonics aside, I guess we know for sure, The GPX weren't behind Landon Maddix's interfence last week. COACH Who suggested they were? COLE Well...uh, it wasn't ruled out. But now it has been. COACH What if they were lying? COLE You were just...oh, nevermind. We're going to hear from Landon Maddix later on so hopefully we'll find out for sure then.

Suddenly, we cut backstage, to see SWF superstar and OAOAST 24/7 Champion Landon Maddix, along with manager Megan Skye. And, you guessed it, they're WALKING~! UP NEXT: Landon Maddix speaks! **COMMERCIAL BREAK** BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the ring at this time, MEGAN SKYE and the OAOAST 24/7 Champion LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMAAAAADDIIIIIXXXXXXX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!" The roaring sounds of "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson strike through the arena to a roaring reaction, none of which is positive. Through the entrance doors leads Megan Skye, noticeably sporting a black eye on the right side which is only partly obscured by her make-up. And behind her, her charge is in even worse condition, still carrying the wounds of an attack in the SWF last week. But since that's SWF, we won't mention it. Except then. And then. And then... and then... COLE Some new theme music for Maddix, just incase you aren't aware of how highly he thinks of himself. He's gone from the OAOAST's Saviour to 'Jesus' in just about four weeks. Megan leads the way up the ring steps, holding open the ropes for Landon who makes a more subdued entrance than usual. No spin, he simply climbs into the ring. But he's no less arrogant than usual and still delights in displaying the OAOAST's secondary singles title to the OAOAST fans, despite his SWF crew jacket and Michael Stephens (his SWF partner) t-shirt. COLE Here's a man with a lot of explaining to do after last week. We heard him two weeks ago, claiming he'd only come back 'when he felt like it'. We were expecting to have seen the last of him for a while but sure enough, last Thursday, he showed up and inexplicably cost D*LUX their match against The GPX. Calling for a microphone, Maddix sets his 24/7 Title over his left shoulder and as his music cuts out, he waits for some hush from the crowd. He might be waiting a while though. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" MADDIX Yeah, yeah, that's cute. Never heard that one before. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Now, if you'll all pipe down for long enough, I'll get right to the pressing issue. The issue that everybody is talking about right now, the reason why I'm out here. That reason being... my big Steel Cage Match-up this Sunday night with Gabriel Drake at SWF Genesis VII! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, give me a break! COACH Hey, it's their AngleMania...apparantly. "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" MADDIX Okay, calm down everyone. Just playing with you all. Obviously, what everyone's waiting for me to talk about are my actions last week here on HeldDOWN~! How I 'shockingly' and 'inexplicably' showed up during the Hooligan Street Fight and I 'cruelly' cost the boyband brigade their match against... well, against the other boyband brigade. First things first, maybe if they'd settled their little dispute with a dance-off or battle rap contest, maybe nobody would have gotten hurt. But, they did. All week long, it's been 'why this, why that, what is your relationship with The GPX, blah blah blah'. You're all so desperate for an explanation. Well, you want to know why I did what I did? LOOK AT THIS! Suddenly turning a little fiesty, Landon thrusts a finger towards the black eye of Megan Skye. A few of the fans pick up on it quickly and start to laugh at Megan's misfortune, as she sulkily folds her arms, feigning some existing injury with the eye. MADDIX Nobody, but nobody, touches my Megs and gets away with it unscathed! And at AngleSlam, somebody made that mistake. Jade Rodez. Jade Rodez made the same mistake her brother did and thought she could get one over on the SWF's Power Couple! She thought she could get the last laugh. HA! [i]That's[/i] the sound of a last laugh, Doughdez! COLE Doughdez!? COACH Well, she is kinda meaty. COLE Give me a break. MADDIX Your precious little pretty boy army took the brunt. I'm a gentleman, see. I let Megan deal with you last week and hopefully, you'll remember how that felt to be kicked upside the head by a REAL woman if you and the Choreography Crew decide you're going to seek retribution. Jade, take another leaf out of your brother's book. Learn from him. If you know what's good for you, like him, you'll walk away. With the serious section of this talk over, a cheesy smile creeps over his face. MADDIX Now, with that out of the way, let's get to the interesting stuff. Let's quit living in the past and talk about the future. What's next for Landon Maddix? See, it seems that this 24/7 Title has settled over my shoulder pretty nicely. Nobody over in the SWF seems to understand the concept. And those that do, like Bruce, aren't jumping me backstage at Lockdown trying to win it, for whatever reason. And when I make an appearance here, it seems people are afraid to challenge me because of my connections to certain people. COLE And with good reason! MADDIX First and foremost, I am a competitor. I have never been and will never be a paper champion. Having a championship belt around my waist has become second nature to me and that comes hand in hand with competition. So, if the competition won't come to me, then I guess I'm going to have to go to the competition. So, with that said, everyone gathered around the monitors in the back should call their buddies over. They should then do the same. I want as many people to hear this, because I'm issuing an Open Challenge of sorts. This perks a few of the fans up, who apparantly fancy themselves against the former SWF World Champion and begin trying to point themselves out. Landon laughs it all off, pointing a few of the more pathetic offers out to Megan before signalling for everyone to just give up. MADDIX As I said before, I'm looking for [i]competition[/i]. And as tough as that may be to find in the OAOAST, I'm willing to give anyone a chance. Anyone in that locker room who wants a shot at the 24/7 Champion, consider this an open invitation, as if it were needed. From the bottom of the barrel to the top of the tree, it doesn't matter who steps up and tries to take this 24/7 Title from my possession. Because there is not ONE OAOAST wrestler in that entire locker room who can compare to me! Not one! No-one who can compare to my legacy in this business! Accomplishments, claimed against competition, through competition. There's nobody in the SWF who can compare to me, let alone here. Fourteen seperate championship reigns in my illustrious career with them. Two-time SWF World Heavyweight Champion, former SWF International Champion, four-time SWF World Tag Team Champion, three-time SWF ICTV Cha... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH What!? COLE OH, MY!! Disturbed kicks into gear, but this time it's "Liberate" and it's an entirely different reaction from the fans, who go absolutely WILD! Apparantly, Landon doesn't seem to know what this means as he just seems annoyed at being interrupted. It's only when the entrance doors slide open and the suited, booted and ever so stylish Meterosexual Monster, Bohemoth, comes striding down the aisle that the 24/7 Champion's face begins to sink. COLE Be careful what you ask for Mr. Maddix, because you just might get it! Bohemoth is here to accept the challenge! And something tells me he doesn't care how many SWF titles you've won! With his eyes hided behind his trusty orange-tinted shades, Bohemoth jogs up the ring steps...and sends Maddix scurrying to the outside, Megan wisely following after him. Bo enters the ring and with his typical casualness he strolls over to where Landon has retreated to, babbling away as he tries to calm the bigman down. MADDIX Ho... hol... hold up there big guy... "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" With the wryest and coolest of half-smiles, Bo motions for Landon to come back into the ring. MADDIX Jus... just hold up there a second, calm yourself down. COLE Calm yourself down!? Bohemoth's the calmest man in the OAOAST, it's Landon that's getting flustered. COACH He don't want none of Big Bo. MADDIX I... I think you've misunderstood me there big guy. If you'd let me... finish what I was saying, then you'd realise that you're out here a little... prematurely. See, this isn't a challenge for... for right now. Not tonight. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bo again signals for Landon to come back inside, even sitting on the middle rope and holding open a space for Landon to enter through. Backed up against the guardrail, Landon nervously feels his way around ringside as he heads towards the aisle, not taking his eyes off of Bo. MADDIX You kinda interrupted me there. See, you need to realise the terms of this deal. I realise this belt is on the line twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I realise that. Really. But, if you think I'm going to get into that ring with you on a moment's notice, then you'd better loosen up that pretty like necktie because it's cutting the flow of blood to your brain. Now... don't get me wrong. I'm not [i]scared[/i] of you. Bu... "PUUU - SSSYYY!" "PUUU - SSSYYY!" "PUUU - SSSYYY!" "PUUU - SSSYYY!" Megan screams at the crowd to shut up, but predictably they don't. Taking a moment to recompose himself, Landon takes a few deep breaths and waits for the arena to quieten down a little, Bo watching on impatiently from the ring. MADDIX But... you need to realise who I am. I'm Landon Maddix. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX See, I'm a marquee superstar in this sport. Not just here, but around the wrestling world. My name alone sells tickets. My name fills arenas. My name spikes ratings and it pops buyrates. I'm not just going to get into that ring unadvertised and 'give away' a 24/7 Title defence, just because you're feeling a little frisky, no no. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE You've got to be kidding me! COACH Hey, I hate to say it but he's got a point. MADDIX And besides that, I've got a big match on Sunday. So, if you want a shot at this 24/7 Title, then fine. I'll oblige you. I'm not afraid of bigmen. I've beaten men bigger and badder than you. I'll give you your shot. Just not tonight. Bohemoth's eyes roll under his glasses. After all, they [i]always[/i] say that. MADDIX I'll give you your match, live, next week on HeldDOWN~! 24/7 Title on the line. No false promises. You and me, one on one. When it's worthwhile to me. In the meantime, you just... you go back and... lift some more weights, shop for some more suits, whatever it is you do with your spare time. See you in a week. Goodnight Memphis! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dropping the microphone, Maddix is already halfway up the ramp and scampers up the rest of it, with Bohemoth still watching on. A little shake of the head from the bigman is all the emotion you're going to get from him. But, obviously, he's not happy as he's eventually left to leave the ring, without the fight he came out for. COLE The arrogance of Landon Maddix is just astounding! He comes out here, calls out the locker room for an open challenge and then he runs with his tail between his legs when he's challenged. And all because he won't get the maximum [i]ratings[/i]? What an egotist! COACH Hate to say it again but, he's got a point. More ratings lead to more money. And more money means more happiness. COLE One thing is for sure, the prospect of Bohemoth kicking Maddix's ass next week will get people tuning in. Hell, I'd pay to see that happen! COACH Exactly! COLE *sighs* Well, either way, next week it'll apparantly be Landon Maddix versus Bohemoth for the 24/7 Championship, first time ever obviously. And that will be one hell of a test for the 'Saviour Of The OAOAST', not least because he doesn't seem to even know who Bohemoth is!