King Cucaracha

[COLOR=red] **JUST PRETEND THIS HAPPENED AT SCHOOL'S OUT~!** [/COLOR] COACH Hey, what was that sound...sounded like a satellite malfunction. CABOOSE Oh, shut up. COACH No, seriousl... CABOOSE Don't make me get the bat. COLE Alright folks, we're in for a treat next here at School's Out because our colleague and good friend... CABOOSE He's not your friend. Don't lie about stuff like that. Don't make me get the bat. COLE ...our good friend Jesse "The Body" Ventura is standing by and who better to get the scoop on the situation involving Christian Wright and his, presumably, former bodyguard Bohemoth. We haven't seen either man since OAOAST Syndicated where the two had a major falling out, both have been kept from the arenas and been placed on alternate house show schedules in recent weeks to prevent any conflicts. And we hope to get our first comments on the issue here tonight, from Christian Wright. So, it's over to you Jess'. [SIZE=6][COLOR=purple] '~}-THE BODY SHOP-{~' [/SIZE][/COLOR] VENTURA Michael Cole, I'm still Hollywood baby. You're not wealthy enough to be The Body's friend. COACH HA! VENTURA Ladies and gentlemen, this the Body Shop and I don't need to waste time with nicesties. I don't need to put myself over, like certain another little kid with his own little talk show that I could mention. But I'm not gonna waste time on him. It's the Body Rules and it's my way or the highway! So with that said, lets get this thing going. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight, the 2005 OAOAST Rookie Of The Year... "The Natural" Christian WRIGHT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" [i]*BREEEAAAK!*[/i] The newly acquired theme music "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool hits as the casually attired frame of Christian Wright appears through the entrance, head held high despite the hostile reaction he's recieving. Christian looks out into the crowd with disdain (yep, I finally bought a dictionary and learnt how to spell it) and shakes his head at what he sees as he takes a detour from the ramp and down some handy steps, to where The Body Shop set has been specially set up. The fans around the stage continue to hurl abuse at CW as he shakes hands with The Body. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" The chants start up early and Wright seems immediately flustered by them. Pacing around the set, Wright tries to focus on something other than the fans, which isn't really helping too much. VENTURA Okay Christian, before we get to the questions, first I wanna show you and these people what happened at OAOAST Syndicated. Roll the footage. [QUOTE]Grabbing a pitcher of water from the timekeeper's table, Bohemoth slides back into the ring. His partner is still down and seemingly still KOed, Nick Patrick trying to bring him back to his sense. Bo shoves Patrick away though and simply tips the pitcher of ice cold water over Christian's face, which wakes him up...and then some. Sitting up and shaking himself back to life, Wright climbs to his feet. And to say he doesn't appreciate Bohemoth's gesture would be an understatement, wiping the freezing water from his eyes and GLARING at his partner! Wet, cold and beaten, Wright runs a hand over his head as Bohemoth throws the empty pitcher away. WRIGHT WHERE WERE YOU? BOHEMOTH He hi... WRIGHT WHERE WERE YOU, WHENCE I REQUIRED YOU! YOU ABANDONED ME! COLE What the hell is Wright talking about? He was the one that got pinned! Bohemoth tries to reason with CW, trying to calm him down at the same time. "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" That doesn't help. WRIGHT TIME AFTER TIME, WEEK AFTER WEEK! YOU CONSPIRE TO RUIN MY BEST LAID PLANS WITH YOUR INCEASANT INCOMPETENCE! THIS WAS TO BE OUR NIGHT! OUR CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY! AND YET, ONCE MORE, YOU'VE QUASHED MY DREAMS! YOU'VE RUINED IT! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? ARE YOU SATISFIED [b]*SLAP~!*[/b] "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, MY! COACH Aw no Chris, what are you doin' man!?! Bohemoth reels back a step and clutches his cheek, as shocked as everyone else who's watching. Despite the slap, Wright is still raging on. Only now, he can't be heard, over the encouragement of the crowd for The Meterosexual Monster to do something about it. Running his tongue across the inside of his cheek, there's little change in Bohemoth's usual expression. Calm. Calculated. *WHAM!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH NOOOOOOO!! COLE FRONT SPINEBUSTER! BOHEMOTH HAS HAD ENOUGH AND HE JUST DRILLED HIS MENTOR WITH THE FRONT SPINEBUSTER! GOOD FOR YOU BO, GOOD FOR YOU! A number of the fans are standing with their thumbs pointing south, hoping for Bohemoth to put another exclamation point on the parting of ways. But Bohemoth doesn't see them, staring down at Wright. Staring down at the man who plucked him from obscurity, trained him up...and now, disrespected...and then turns away, finally stepping out of his former partner's shadow and into the light. COLE I think we've just seen how much Bohemoth take as much as he possibly could take and finally, he's done something about Christian Wright and his disrespect! And it's about damn time too! "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" Bo leaves the ring in a very different manner than he arrived, patted on the back by the fans. Walking down the aisle, Bo doesn't turn back until he reaches the curtain, Wright still out in the middle of the ring, not seeing Bo flexing TEH GUNZ~! for his newfound fans.[/QUOTE] We come back live... "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" ...and there's the chants again. VENTURA I think the footage speaks for itself there Christian. The question I wanna know is, is this the end of the road for Christian Wright and Bohemoth as a team? "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" WRIGHT As you so correctly stated Mister Ventura, that particular footage does speak volumes. And after the heinous backstabbing perpetrated by my former associate, it would take considerable apology to sway my favour. VENTURA I'm gonna take that as a yes. Now, before you two had that falling out there'd been a lot of tension on both sides, because you two have been on one hell of a losing streak together. Do you think this split will be a good thing for you two or the final nail in your coffins...after all, you are the OAOAST Rookie Of The Year and you've failed to live up to that billing. Running a hand across his head, Wright is agitated by The Body's straight cutting questioning. WRIGHT Recent performances have merely been a blip on my record. My status as OAOAST Rookie Of The Year, awarded to me by the general public who secretly respect me but yet outwardly belittle my abilities I wish to remind, cannot be taken away from me, merely because of mishaps not of my doing. Need I remind you, I was proud holder of HI-YAH's World Heavyweight Championship belt and still would be to this day, where it not for Bohemoth's failure to restrain one Ms. Krista Isadora Duncan. Need I remind you Governor Ventura that I had the vaunted Love Doctors' HI-YAH World Tag Team Title reign clasped firmly within my hands, until Bohemoth bungled our attempts up by failing to recognise the rules of the contest. And need I remind you that the key ingredient of tag team wrestling is teamwork? Teamwork sorely lacking when Bohemoth left me unassisted, handicapped numerically against the combnation of The Heavenly Rockers at the aforementioned Syndicated telecast! VENTURA Woah woah woah! Lemme get this straight, Wright...you're blaming all your troubles on Bohemoth? WRIGHT I merely state this...without Bohemoth, the star of Christian Wright shall shine brighter than ever. However, the same cannot be said for my departed partner. Without a bumbling ignoramus providing my assistance I am confident that where-as this year I was awarded Rookie Of The Year, within six months I shall be under consideration for the accolade of outright Wrestler Of The Year! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA I dunno kid, these fans don't seem to take your point of view. I get the feeling they think that their Rookie Of The Year vote would have been better off cast for Bohemoth. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" WRIGHT Mere asthetics may appear more immediately pleasing to the untrained eye than technical ability, but the truth shall out. Jesse, you became reknowned for your aesthetic appearance during your successful career. But you more than anyone realise a body without brains serves no meaningful purpose. Your body did not procure you the title Governor of Minnesota. You have both significant brains and impressive brawn. VENTURA That is true. WRIGHT See, Bohemoth lacks that crucial first attribute. He lacks brains. His mental accument pales in comparison to mine. That simple fact ensures while my career shall flurish, without my brains behind him, Bohemoth shall soon become a distant memory in the minds of these people. And in our respective career, I promise you this OAOAST patrons...the ends shall justify the means. VENTURA Alright then, ladies and gentlemen, Chri... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Understandably Wright is shocked to hear the rather crude intro to the rather crude "Liberate" by Disturbed cues up. And, understandably, he's even more shocked as none other than his former bodyguard 'The Meterosexual Monster' Bohemoth steps out in as snappy of a suit as you're ever likely to see, adjusting his collar before jogging down the steps leading to the set. All of a sudden, Wright isn't quite so cocksure of himself at the sight of this angry six foot seven...well, bohemoth. VENTURA Well bigman, I guess you've got something to say? Panicking, Wright tries to skulk off into the background, as Bohemoth is handed a microphone by Ventura. Bohemoth smiles wryly and lowers his tinted sunglasses as he looks out at the fans. Keeping the glasses lowered, Bo turns his attentions to Wright who stands at the opposite end of the interview stage, looking around nervously for a quick exit. BOHEMOTH Unlike you, I'm a man of few words, so I'm gonna make this nice and simple. You. Me. Great Angle Bash. *PHHFFT!* "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth throws down the microphone and storms back off the set, leaving Christian to stand and watch with hands on his head despairingly. Cool as the proverbial, figurative cucumber, Bohemoth doesn't so much as give a second look back as he disappears through the curtains. VENTURA Well, that was a bit of a turn-up huh? Christian Wright challenged to a match at The Great Angle Bash by his former bodyguard Bohemoth. I've earnt my paycheck, so that's the Body Shop, back to The C Squad at ringside!

COACH Okay, we've put this off for long enough...I wanna see the video. Ned Blanchard paid his money, he deserves to have his opinion heard. CABOOSE That's democracy for you. COLE Do we really have to show this? ... COLE Okay, I'm hearing from our producers that we do. I really want no part of this. [SIZE=5][COLOR=gold]**MACKENZIE DE CENZO PRODUCTIONS** *IN ASSOCIATION WITH THE OAOAST*[/SIZE] -FINANCED BY OUR GOOD FRIEND, AXEL- [SIZE=5]*PROUDLY PRESENT*[/SIZE][/COLOR] [i]*bah, badda bahbahbah baaaaaaahhhhhhh!*[/i] [COLOR=gold][SIZE=7]~~SLAVEHEART~~[/COLOR][/SIZE] -or- [SIZE=5]"FROM JADE TO NEDDY..."[/SIZE] ------------------------------------------------------ -Sunday, May 28th 11:42 PM- If I asked you the last place you'd expect to see a HI-YAH Tag Team Title retaining celebration party, McDonalds might very well be high on your list. But that's exactly where we open as we see The Beverly Hills Blonds and Mackenzie DeCenzo lounged around one of those horrible hard plastic tables, with the rest of the tables virtually deserted. Filmed handcam style, presumably by Simon Singleton, we see Ned Blanchard on the opposite side of the table with the two HI-YAH belts sprawled out on the table. Coming into view, Mackenzie DeCenzo brushes the belts away and sets down the tray, shuffling up beside Simon. BLANCHARD Well, let's see what we have...grilled chicken salad for me. Lovely. Got to keep the diet going, even if we are celebrating. Another chicken salad, that's yours Mackie. And Simon has the Bacon Double Cheeseburger, surprise surprise. No wonder you dragged us here, you're addicted to these damn things. You realise this is two and a half hours on the exercise bike when we get back. Okay uhm, drink, drink, straws...OH, and of course, we have a very special meal for our very special guest. Sliding down the double seat, Ned moves out of the way to reveal Jade Rodez squashed up on one of the Ronald McDonald party area children's tables, doing untold damage to her spine. Cheeks stained with tears, Jade hangs her head sadly, trying to ignore the sniggering from the table beside her as a bag is dumped in front of her. BLANCHARD There we go, one Happy Meal. I hope you like raw carrots. (feigning sadness) And dry up those tears Cookie because I made sure they put the little toy in there especially for you. Now, eat up. Jade chokes back some more tears, determine not to give the patronising Ned the satisfaction. SIMON (off camera) So Ned, how about some words about the win for all our fans? BLANCHARD (turning back around) Words, words...well, what can I say really? The Beverly Hills Blonds remain undefeated and now begins a month of celebration. I can't wait, I really can't. But you know Simon, beneath this confident facade lies both worry and anxiety. I honestly don't know how I'm going to last the month. Good stamina is the calling card of a successful athlete but even a man like Ned Blanchard has his doubts. Hence the salad. We should really draw up a rotar. OAOAST commitments, general chores, extra-curricular activities, more general chores, sex sessions. SIMON (off camera) Is that legal? BLANCHARD Relax, I'm kidding. Checking Jade isn't listening, Ned leans in towards Simon. BLANCHARD (whispering) I'm not kidding. ------------------------------------------------------ -Tuesday May 2nd 2:14 PM- Flash cut to Ned Blanchard's flash bachelor pad in West L.A, which unlike most bachelor pads is actually clean. Then again, most bachelors don't have their very own slave. The camera pans around the living room to take in all the sights...the red leather couchette, the zebra print rug sat underneath the glass coffee table, the large plasma screen T.V on the wall. Oh, and the pictures on the mantle. One of a typically sour faced Krista Isadora Duncan with her arm around The Handsome Hustler at what seems to be the gates into Disneyland, one publicity photo of HollyWood and one picture of Ned's daughter Maya. Okay, tell a lie. It's Maya's ear and left arm posed off to the side of Nicole Ritchie. We pan around again to Ned Blanchard sat in his leather armchair wearing just a dark blue dressing gown and a pair of boxer shorts. Let's not go into detail. SIMON (off camera) So, how's the feeling out process been going then Ned? BLANCHARD Heh...'feeling out'. SIMON (off camera) I know, I planned it out. 'Networking' didn't seem as dirty, so I cut it. BLANCHARD Good move. SIMON (off camera) So? I tell you, you do look tired. BLANCHARD Well, the bad news is that I've had the lawyers on the phone and basically, slavery only goes so far. You'd think the government would have better things to debate than the legal rights of slaves. I don't know. Suffice to say I can't do certain things without permission. SIMON (off camera) *tuts* This country. BLANCHARD I know. But the law doesn't prohibit me from getting her to give me sponge baths. I've never been so clean. We're working out the more intimate stuff with the lawyers, but until then, as you can see the house is looking spotless. Mama Rodez, if you're watching this I want to compliment you because you taught your daughter well. She can cook, she can clean. She looks great in a French maid's outfit. I'm not sure if that's your doing but either way, I do congratulate you. SIMON (off camera) So, where's the lucky lady right now? BLANCHARD Knocking me up some lunch as we speak. Barefoot, naturally. SIMON (off camera) You're a man's man Ned Blanchard, a man's man. You think she can fix me up with something? BLANCHARD Sure...after all, there's nothing against the law about forcing her to cook for me. Well, nothing that'll see me locked up and the key thrown away at least. Wrestling contracts are wonderful things, they transcend the law to certain points that open up wonderful doors. Tell her I sent you and she'll make you whatever your heart desires. The camera and Singleton goes to leave, but Ned holds him off with a hand. BLANCHARD By the way, I got Jade to oil the hinges on the bathroom door. She usually showers about nine, half nine in the morning. SIMON (off camera) Gotcha. ------------------------------------------------------ -Tuesday May 2nd 2:18 PM- [b]*BONUS FOOTAGE*[/b] SIMON (off camera) So that's steak, medium-rare, with peppercorn sauce. Oh and while you're waiting for it to cook, I want you to sing "Sex Bomb" by Elton John. And dance. JADE Sure thing, Ned...oh, WAIT, you're not Ned and I don't have to do jack for you. Simon presumably doesn't appreciate this backchat and begins to answer back, when suddenly the kitchen door swings open to reveal Mackenzie DeCenzo. In her arms is a small (as if there's any other type) chihuahua, wearing a plaid coat and bonnet. Yeah, I know. She's Hollywood baby. The place, that is. MACKENZIE Oh, hi Jade, busy cooking are we? Good to see. I'll have some of whatever Ned's having. And open up a bottle of wine while you're there would you, I've got some good news. SIMON (off camera) Yeah? MACKENZIE I just got back from head offices and the t-shirt deal looks very prosperous indeed. So, the wine? SIMON (off camera) Oh, she only does jobs for Ned apparantly. Mackenzie snarls a little, as Jade turns to face them defiantly. MACKENZIE Really? Well, I own Ned's contract which makes me just as entitled to anything he's earnt as he is. T-shirt sales, financial bonuses, any slaves he might have won by beating upshot nobody tag teams. So, I suggest you grab the corkscrew. And open up and expensive one wouldya, because this is very, very good news. Now, I'm going to leave Honey in here with you. Try not to step either of your chubby hamhawks down on her because she's a very precious dog... (brings dog up to her face) ...aren't you? Yesyouare, ohyesyouare you'realittlecutiepieyouare! Realising there's a camera in her face, Mackenzie slowly moves the dog away from her face and refinds her place in the real world. MACKENZIE Just so you know, Honey's got a bit of a dodgy stomach and she's prone to vomiting. So, I'm going to need you to trail her around and if she leaves you any treats, try to clean them up before they make too much of a stink. Now, are we understood, or should I get Ned in here to 'explain'? JADE ...no maam. MACKENZIE Good girl. Setting down 'Honey', Mackenzie pats the dog on the head before going back out of the kitchen, merrily whistling away. Ever the astute cameraman, Simon makes sure to get the emotional shot of Jade sadly wiping a tear from her eye and reaching for the wine cooler before he too leaves. ------------------------------------------------------ -Wednesday, May 31st 10:52 AM- [i]"And two and stretch, And three and jump, C'mon, work those thighs!"[/i] Changing things up, we get a voyeuristic shot of the Blanchard living room as The Handsome Hustler is busy going through his daily workout routine. Adjusting his headband, Blanchard is sweating pretty heavily as he exhales and leans over the couch. Pointing a finger to the T.V Ned then gives a signal...which is when we first see Jade Rodez stepping into view. Looking noteably uncomfortable, Jade positions herself in front of the T.V while Ned grabs the remote and fast-forwards his fitness video. SIMON (off camera) Oh yeah, give me something to work with Neddy... Settling on the right part of the video, Ned presses play and sits himself down on the couch behind Jade. Whether she's noticed the camera or not isn't clear, but under duress, Jade joins in the workout. Stuck in a pink leotard that is admitedly a little too tight for her, Jade does a couple of star jumps, before we finally find out what's going on. [i]"Okay now ladies, touch those toes..."[/i] Jade doesn't, turning around awkwardly to Ned who signals for Jade to get on with it. And she does, giving Ned and Simon the perfect view of Jade's behind. SIMON (off camera) Ned Blanchard you're a God. Making no secret about his intentions Ned leans forward to get a closer look, ignoring Jade's obvious discomfort at being perved over as he gives the big thumbs up to Simon and the camera. At that point though, the camera moves, as Mackenzie DeCenzo pulls Simon away from the ajar door and looks to see what's going on. MACKENZIE Good God, would you look at the cellulite on those thighs. SIMON (off camera) Looks okay to me. MACKENZIE You two disgust me sometimes, you realise that? Disgusting. Remind me never to change in the same building as you ever again. SIMON (off camera) Bolting the stable door when the horse is already out I'm afraid... Mackenzie glares at the camera. SIMON (off camera) ...uhm, kidding! MACKENZIE You'd better be. (looks back into the room) Oh God...you'd best turn that thing off. SIMON (off camera) He's not, is he? Looking nautious, Mackenzie nods. SIMON (off camera) ...he's my hero. MACKENZIE Ugh. ------------------------------------------------------ -Thursday, June 1st 8:04 AM- Stood on his porch, Ned Blanchard looks into the Los Angeles sky wistfully as birds twitter away in the background. SIMON (off camera) Ned Blanchard, it's been three days and I have to say you're looking a very happy man. So, a summary for the people? BLANCHARD Well, I'm hanging in there. These stupid rules and regulations I've had to put in the contract about no prolonged physical contact without consent...really beginning to get to me, Simon, I don't mind telling you. It's a tease is all it is. A tease. So I'm having to pick my spots a little more carefully. Probably for the best, there's no telling how quickly I'd have got sick of her with no boundaries. The fun of the chase Simon, the fun of the chase. SIMON (off camera) Why do you always get philosophical around birds? BLANCHARD They sooth me. SIMON (off camera) Fair enough. Sighing, Ned turns away from the sky and back to the camera, still lounged up on the rail behind him. SIMON (off camera) You know, this could be a running thing with the camera. I'm pretty good at it. Just need a name, like 'The SiCam'. BLANCHARD Yeah, yeah, very good. Listen, we need to be getting away if we're going to make it to HeldDOWN~! on time so stick this on the end of what you've edited together and get it on a VHS. I want people to be seeing my face as I say these words. A camera's useless without an audience Simon. SIMON (off camera) True. Listen...can I sit in the back with Jade today? Just for a change. And by the way, I got a good upskirt of that blonde number last night while we were at that bar. Lighting was a little dim, but it's on the Director's Cut just incase. BLANCHARD You've done a good job with this video diary thing, so consider it done. You're a good friend and a beautiful man. The Beverly Hills Blonds embrace on the front porch, prompting a young child cycling by on his paper round to scream out "Brokeback Mountain" as he passes. Ned and Simon don't seem to hear as they break up their embrace and shake hands, before the feed finally cuts. ------------------------------------------------------ [i]-CREDITS- [b]Starring...[/b] "The Handsome Hustler" Ned Blanchard "Business Consultant" Mackenzie DeCenzo and Jade Rodez [b]Head Cameraman[/b] Simon Singleton [b]Assistant to Mr. Blanchard[/b] Jade Rodez [b]Mr. Blanchard Wardrobe Courtesy of[/b] Somewhere Very Expensive [b]Directed by[/b] Simon Singleton [b]Based on an Original Idea by[/b] Ned Blanchard[/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE I...I feel sick. COACH When I grow up, I wanna be Ned Blanchard. No kidding, the guy's a stud. Fantastic! COLE Let's...let's go to something else...please.

Broken neck at a FIP show. Oh. Wow, that sucks to hear, I've got a soft spot for all of Punk's students.

As far as $5 million guys go, Cena's a bad choice because they very rarely waste him on more than 2 seperate appearances. Triple H has a slow build storyline going that virtually guarantees him being around more than once. Plus he's got a trademark weapon and when he's up against the Spirit Squad, there's the potential for him to get in 5 Pedigrees a night. Rey's got a whole bunch of finishers so he's excusable as a $5 million pick. And Angle's Anklelock is so bastardised you're likely to get 20 points per match for that alone. When the hell is Foley going to go nuts with weapon shots again? Only reason he's in my team and they have him talking. No fair. Still, 17th is respectable with a Smackdown heavy team.

ECW used to be about revolutionising wrestling, rebelling against the main promotions, creating new stars and new styles. How exactly does a ridiculously banged up Sabu (and Funk and Foley and Dreamer etc etc) do that? If they wanted Rey on the show, they should have put him against a future prospect like Super Crazy or Kid Kash (without the dumb Velocity gimmick), because nobody's buying Sabu winning the World Title anyway. As it is, it's just The ECW Nostalgia Trip Part 2.

Possibly a 24/7 Title match.

Landon/Toxxic, Last Man Standing, World Title, One Year (Plus) In The Making. You know the drill. All parties banned from ringside, just for clarity.

So WC gets comments from Janus but not me? Glass ceiling or what?

Okey-doke, time to suggest something and actually do something with this mod title thingy. With the way things have been recently especially, I really don't think having a PPV every month is working out that well. The four HD gap between PPVs is a little tight and a lot of things seem to be rushed through to get things done before the PPV. And, let's face it, some of the card for School's Out was pretty thin. It was quite clearly nothing more than a filler PPV for me and my storylines and I know I'm not the only one. And reading my matches, you can tell I don't have a lot of passion when I'm writing filler. So, my proposal is basically to cut down on the amount of PPVs and hopefully they'll then become more important. Over at the SWF it's roughly 7 a year and it works out fine. I think it'd work better than what we're doing here at the moment, especially if we throw in one or two Syndicateds in between. It'd make the main PPVs like AngleSlam seem a lot more important and hopefully it'd convince people to write more matches for HeldDOWN as well. All we'd need to figure out is which 4 or 5 PPVs to drop and we could make the decision immediately, with GAB the next and a definate keeper. So, WHO'S WITH ME!?

I was never one of the anti-Crouch brigade, but I've never seen him play as well as he did against Hungary. Not just the goal, but his touch was good and he pulled out a couple of nice tricks for good measure. The robot was class too. And yet, for every positive, there's an Owen Hargreaves.

The sooner this "ECW" crap goes away, the better. Rey needs to change up his moveset, a lot. Orton was nowhere near as bad as people made out. They need to debut CM Punk as CM Punk'd, with his character based off of Ashton Kutcher. Bring in Colt Cabana and Ace Steel as the prank players. Comedy gold and you don't have to worry about important things like pushing good wrestlers on their wrestling ability.

So, Melina, JBL and Nitro get fired because they shout at Teddy Long, but Mark Henry still gets employment and gets booked despite the fact he's injuring half the roster. And Long is the FACE GM, right?

OAOAST mentions = Yay! If not for continuity then simply because I know what's happening and no-one else does (unless they go read the OAOAST shows, which you should already be doing). Oh, and people tagging regularly in the SWF is good yadda yadda yadda.

So, we've got potentially.. JAN- AnglePalooza MAR/APR- AngleMania MAY- School's Out JUN- Great Angle Bash AUG- AngleSlam SEP- Zero Hour NOV- November Reign DEC- Climax AKA New Year's Spectacular/Angle Awards Show Plus, one or two Syndicateds (which with the same organisation as last time would be like 'super HDs' more than secondary PPVs) and possibly BattleBowl, which as suggested could become part of a PPV and we could then stretch the tag matches through HDs (because last year the tag matches were pretty disappointing). I think that'd work pretty smoothly. We have gaps before the big 2 (Mania, Slam) and Climax as the New Year's show would mean a semi break before the 3rd (Palooza). GAB and November Reign would be the next tier of shows, with School's Out and Zero Hour being the slightly 'lesser' PPVs with potential for Papacita to provide great graphics.

Name one. Seriously. I can't name one noteably good match since his injury.

That'd work well. I don't think we should do a drop of 5 immediately because the new schedule will be a bit of an experiment as it is. I'd be in favour of switching Zero Hour into Dirty Deeds' spot (September?) and dropping Dirty Deeds instead, if only because Papacita's probably got more to work with graphic wise with the name Zero Hour than any other PPV.

See, people keep saying "Oh, ECW doesn't get heat on the West Coast"... ...so, why the fuck are they creating a new brand and commiting to a new T.V show for half a country? If "ECW" is going to be even remotely successful they'll need to be popular everywhere, not just Philly and surrounding areas. You can't blame the WWE for doing "ECW" storylines on the West Coast because they need the West Coast to watch "ECW"...the East Coast fans will watch anyway, regardless of quality, because it's got the letters "ECW" involved.

Woah woah... ...what happened to Evan Starsmore?

Correct place. You can borrow Dance Dance Dragon if you want.

Team Name: D*LUX Names: Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant Aliases: "Showtime" Shayne and "Tremendous" Tyler Age: Shayne- 21; Tyler- 23 Height: Shayne- 5'9; Tyler- 6'0 Weight: Shayne- 183lbs; Tyler- 196lbs Hometown: Shayne- Detroit, MI; Tyler- Auburn Hills, MI Alignment: Faces Stable affiliation (if any): Love Generation (w/Leon Rodez) Wrestling style: Classic Rockers/R&R Express babyface team Theme music: Maroon 5, "Makes Me Wonder" Entrance Style: Entrance attire: Stylish denim jackets which match the colour of their pants. Designer sunglasses. Ring attire: Matching denim jean pants, in a variety of colours. But matching. And one colour at a time. They're not that wacky. Black boots, elbowpads and wristbands. Looks: Tyler on the left, Shayne on the right. Team Finishing Move(s) As Seen On 60 Minutes- Pendulum/Top Rope Legdrop. Almost like a facedown Vegomatic. Tyler does the lifting, Shayne the flying. Singles Finishing Move(s) Shayne Shaynedrop- Snapmare Driver/Fall Forward Diamond Cutter Tyler The Merry Tyler Gore Show- Jacknife Spear, which is a spear which goes straight into a jacknife pin. Team Signature Moves Larger Than Life Line- Rocket Launcher Clothesline by Shayne w/assist by Tyler Rock Your Body- Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker Combo Hit Me Baby One More Time- Double Superkick Cowell Movement- Double Gutbuster (Bushwhackers style) Opposites Attract- Inverted Atomic Drop/Yakuza Kick Combo New Kicks On The Block- Sandwich Double Dropkick to the head of a kneeling opponent Flying Without Wings- Stereo Suicide Dive/Topé Singles Signature Moves Shayne Running Bulldog Tornado DDT Leg Lariat Flying Clothesline Picture Perfect Elbowdrop Tyler Recordbreaker- Vertebreaker Phantom (Running) Neckbreaker Samoan Drop Shining Enziguri Yakuza Kick Basic Moveset A lot of Rockers-esque teamwork and singularly, fast-paced wrestling. Nothing crazy. They're quick and they're agile but they're not going to do anything mind-blowing, aside from a dive or two. Manager/valet/sidekick: Jade Rodez again! Catchphrases/Trademark gestures: Tyler "YEAH-UH!" Shayne "Radical!" "Word" Jade does a lot of the team's talking for them. The above catchphrases should tell you exactly why. History/Background/Career Highlights: Tyler and Shayne first met at University in Michigan and realised they had common interests such as wrestling, the NHL and the dream of becoming multi-platinum superstar pop heroes! Unfortunately, things didn't work out. After failing in their attempt to become overnight mega-stars courtesy of that pillar of fine televisual entertainment American Idol, Tyler and Shayne went for Plan B. Unfortunately, they sucked at Ice Hockey too. Luckily, they could wrestle okay, so they went with that. Like any poor deluded young men though, they still harbour dreams of one day being popstar semi-boyband teen idols. Make sure to look out for their debut single, "Your Love Is Like A Backdrop Driver", in bargain bins nationwide! Since getting into the business, D*LUX have formed a close team bond. While working in OAOVW, they met up with fellow Michiganer Jade Rodez. After months trawling the indy circuit, without so much as a sniff of a recording contract or a big payday of any sort, the duo were convinced into coming to the bright lights of Thursday night HeldDOWN~! by Jade. She took managerial control of the team, not to mention a 60% cut of the profits (on a certain Krista Isadora Duncan's superb if a little irresponsible advice, of course). However, at AngleMania VI D*LUX's career hit a crossroads. After much success under Jade's tutelage including three HI-YAH Tag Team Title reigns, Jade ditched her team to live the high-life with The Enterprise. Over the next four months D*LUX had to learn to cope without her guidance, forming a bond with his brother Leon and a 'bond' with Chicks Over Dicks. Eventually though, at AngleSlam '07, Jade saw the light and returned D*LUX's side. The boys are stronger for the experience though and ready for bigger and better things.

Wouldn't you know it, the satellite blew out during School's Out. Not Quite So Live The Body Shop feat. Christian Wright Plus, Ned Blanchard's Video Diary with a working title of "I'm A Slave For You" until I think of something better.

That was the first legitimate, non-24/7 goofery match Leon's had in months. The last was probably PRL at AngleMania, which is a pretty terrible record. Actual comments later when I read the thing, but yay for Bruce and Rando for writing the 6 man. Now write for HD. Seriously. Do it.

Name: Bohemoth Nicknames: Bo, The Meterosexual Monster, PIMPHEMOTH~!, The Epitome Of Masculinity Age: 29 Height: 6ft. 7 Weight: 284 lbs Hometown: Greenville, South Carolina Alignment: Face Stable Affiliation: None Wrestling style: Your usual high-impact, power based bigman style. Theme music: "Liberate", Disturbed Entrance Style: Walks out, flexes the muscles, walks to the ring. Simple as. What he looks like...: Backstage attire: Suits. Cool suits. Pimp suits. Suits. And some trademark orange tinted sunglasses, which he'll wear to the ring too. Ring attire: Black shorts with a green 'B' on each hip and a tribal sort of pattern on the ass. Black boots, kneepads, elbowpads. Finishing Move(s): The Erotic Awakening Of B- Catatonic/Swinging Rock Bottom Signature Moves Style Injection- Cobra Clutch Backbreaker Bo and Arrow- Falcon Arrow Front (Batista) Spinebuster Running Powerslam MURDERLINE- STIFF~! Lariat Yakuza Kick Facewash Nerve Pinch Basic moveset: Basic bigman stuff I guess. Manager/valet/sidekick: None. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures: None really. History/Background/Career Highlights: Plucked from obscurity, Bohemoth was hired as Christian Wright's bodyguard during his run in the Netlink Wrestling Organization. The two became close friends and while Bo hasn't always approved of Wright's means and methods, he stuck by him loyally through thick and thin. In return, Wright helped to train the basics of professional wrestling to the monster and brought him with him to the OAOAST. However, that all changed in mid 2006. After a long losing run for both Bohemoth and Wright, the pair had a major falling out that lead to Bohemoth stepping out of his mentor's shadow and into a solo career. Bohemoth isn't just your generic, mean big guy...he's quite a nice person. Once he removes his foot from your mouth that is. Cool as a cucumber too, until he gets angry. You get him angry, you're in trouble. But once he's done with you, he's right back to cool as a cucumber. Titles Held HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship - June 23rd, 2005 - October 6th 2005 OAOAST 24/7 Championship - September 21st, 2006 - Current

Name: Christian Wright Nicknames: The Natural, The Financial Analyst, The 2005 OAOAST Rookie Of The Year Age: 25 Height: 6ft. 2 Weight: 8 1/3 bars of gold (225 lbs) Hometown: Now residing in Washington, D.C Alignment: Heel Stable Affiliation: The Enterprise (w/Theodore Moneymaker, Beverly Hills Blonds, Mackenzie DeCenzo, Christopher Patrick Allen) Wrestling style: Technical/High Impact. If that makes sense. He's technically gifted, but likes to hit high impact moves too, to get the job done a little quicker. Still not a fan of hardcore wrestling, but he's a little more open to using weapons nowadays. Theme music: "Sharp Dressed Man", ZZ Top Entrance Style: Pretty basic for now, walks out with Mackenzie (or whoever is escorting), safely handing the briefcase to her to safe keeping once he enters the ring, then removes the shirt and tie. Very business like (get it!? Huh!? I'm here all week folks!) Entrance attire: With his new job as a Financial Analyst, Wright has undergone a makeover. To the ring, he wears a sleveless white dress shirt and a tie, topped off with a nifty red polyester jacket (so, a bit more Claudio Castagnoli than I.R.S). To the ring he will bring a black briefcase, which contains some very important papers and apparantly needs to be guarded by he or Mackenzie at all times. (so, yeah, I.R.S as well). Ring attire: Dark grey suit pants. Black boots and elbowpads. Taped up wrists and hands, with a dollar sign drawn on the tape. The shirt and tie will usually come off before the match or during the course of, should the match start sooner than he or his opponent would expect for whatever reason. Finishing Move(s): Stockmarket Crash- Gordbuster Conversion Rate- The Ego Trip. Hook for a suplex, then hang the feet over the top rope and twist into an elevated swinging neckbreaker. Modification of his former finisher, so not to be sniffed at. Signature Moves Nightmare On Wallstreet- Double Underhook Canadian Backbreaker Drop/Colt 45 C-4- A facebuster (HHH style), an Inverted Atomic Drop, an STO and then a kneedrop. Wright Off- Rydeen Bomb/Sky High Bank Roll- Rolling Fireman's Carry/Finlay Roll Wallstreet Cloverleaf- Texas Cloverleaf Bridging German Suplex Frog Splash Superkick Basic moveset: Snap Powerslam, Inverted DDT, Belly To Belly Suplex, Spear, Stun Gun, STO, European Uppercuts, Knifedge Chops, Middle Rope Elbowdrop, Sleeper Hold Manager/valet/sidekick: Mackenzie DeCenzo. On occassion, maybe Theodore Moneymaker. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures: "SILENCE!" Wright is like a lot of public speakers. When he's addressing the crowd or knows he can be heard, he tries his best to sound highly intelligent. History/Background/Career Highlights: Christian started his career with an internet based wrestling company, the Netlink Wrestling Organisation. In the NWO (not that one), Wright got off to a slow start. But his career thrived when NWO officials placed him in the Brutality Division. Which, was like a more extreme Hardcore Division. Wright found success and started to embrace the Brutality lifestyle, along with former bodyguard and former close friend Bohemoth. Eventually though, Wright grew alienated from the Brutality Division and vowed to become a model champion and person. That didn't always go smoothly, but Wright stuck by it and ended up becoming the NWO's only Singles Grand Slam Winner, winning every belt except the Tag Belts, before the company went under. Wright stayed out of the business for a while and recharged his batteries. Eventually though, Wright came to the conclusion that the wrestling industry needed someone like him to re-establish some morals. Wright was ultimately responsible for bringing Leon Rodez's pornographic past to OAOAST attentions, by throwing an incriminating videotape at Rodez's feet after a houseshow event. He 'debuted' during the "Last Man Dancing Match" between Leon Rodez and The 70's Dude, costing Rodez the match. He then made himself known to the world and revealed he had signed an OAOAST contract, vowing to rid the OAOAST of all evils. He eventually, joined forces with Drek Stone and The GPX in The Upstarts in their battle against The Originals. Despite being named 2005 Rookie Of The Year by the OAOAST fans, after a long losing streak in early 2006, tension began to arise between Wright and Bohemoth. The upshot of this tension was an OAOAST Tag Team Title match at OAOAST Syndicated, which Wright and Bo came up on the losing end of to The Heavenly Rockers. Wright blamed the loss on his partner and Bohemoth finally laid CW out, breaking away from him in the process. Without Bohemoth by his side, Christian faltered. He had to wait until October of 2006 when his salvation came, in the form of Theodore Moneymaker. Wright alligned himself with The Enterprise, transforming himself from a morality man to a 'financial analyst' and hoping to finally make good on the potential he showed in '05.