King Cucaracha

Troy McClure: Don't kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!

41. HE'Z B3TT3R THAN JBL, D00D, ACO7YTeS R TEH SUCKZ0RZ~! 42. Same as above, replace JBL with Cena. 43. Same as top, replace JBL with Orton. 44. Same as top, replace JBL with Orlando Jordan. 45. Same as top, replace JBL with CCC.

^ He's plenty better. I still think they can pull off Taker/Batista and Benoit/JBL as I said in the GAB Thread. They'll get an interesting title match, albeit face vs. face, plus JBL/Benoit is the natural progression after Jordan's cheap win at GAB.

The fact some of you people WANTED Muhammed Hassan to main event the 2nd biggest PPV of the year kinda nullifies your opinions a little. Batista/Hassan would have been worse than Taker vs. Taker. Hell, Hassan would make JBL look like The Rock in terms of effective main eventers. So, Taker beat up a few useless masked guys, destroyed a manager and got rid of a wrestler who made Chris Benoit look bad. GOOD! Good riddance to a terrible gimmick, put on a mediocre at best wrestler and then turned into a publicity magnet. I can still see them doing Taker/Batista and Benoit/JBL at Summerslam. Face vs. Face would usually be a bad decision, but the match isn't going to main event. Jericho/Cena is the big title match, Hogan/HBK is the big selling point for the PPV. Taker is Taker, he'll always be popular. Batista will be over because it's his hometown crowd. So, they can get away with Face vs. Face.

And, Night 3... Kingston finally back in the ring (or, CHIKARA ring) = Awesome.

Night 1 results... And tonight, they're in Hellertown, PA, which I've never heard of. They must have dropped Emmaus from the schedule for some reason. Then, they're in Pittson for the final night, with Icarus vs. whoever advances tonight in the tournament final. Which'll probably be Shane Storm for the sake of storyline.

I call foul on 3 and 6. 7 isn't a good thing, because it shows he NEEDS to improve. A lot. But, I digress. 10. They're short on jobbers after all the releases.

Wow, I should start a career as a motivational speaker or something.

Not to sound like a whiney bitch who has weird online obsessions and kills boards for no particular reason...some more, regular feedback from people would be great. I'm not one to talk, I know, but the past few weeks it's one or two people commenting on each segment, even just a sentence, and that's it.

Project Manager Success Specialist

They could have Hassan come out, call out for a bunch of masked men to run out and sing "Good Morning Starshine".

JBL and Benoit started a feud at the start of the draft and then kinda stopped for no reason. It gives Benoit something to do for Summerslam, drops JBL from the main event for a month or so. Plus, Benoit/JBL could be a pretty good match. It's their best option for Benoit going into SS.

Chucky should have mention of my plans.

Night 2 results Well, I called it.

If the RVD promo was on Raw instead of the ECW PPV, it would have gone without notice. Like the one he cut on Carlito. People marked for everything at ONS, good or not. They need to do something new with RVD. They had the chance to turn him heel when Heyman was around and the Dudleyz turned, which they really need to do, because heel RVD smokes (pun intended) face RVD in terms of entertainment. If only for a couple of months to freshen his act. They also need to stop playing off the past, because that's all anyone including Van Dam does nowadays. I groaned when he wore the ECW t-shirt on RAW. He might as well have come out and said 'Hey, remember how cool I was in 1997'. Nostalgia doesn't draw shit in the long run, whether it's Hogan, whether it's Flair or whether it's RVD. The only line I remember from ONS was "Remember when I had a vocabulary". He had the chance to build a vocabulary at ONS, instead of bitching about the past. Heyman, that's fine, he was on-screen for the last time. Van Dam can't build any sort of momentum on being good in 97, good in 2001 and cutting a decent promo in 98. If they do something NEW with him and he shows he still gives a shit, I'd be happy with Van Dam in the upper-mid level, maybe main event if he does well for himself. Maybe not shooting on the company so much'd be a good idea too. A lot of the 'bad booking' and 'being held down' can be placed on his own head.

Notice, everyone praising RVD here, that nearly every arguement for Van Dam is worded in the PAST tense and usually includes either "ECW", "2001" or "2002". Shelton hasn't been given the chances RVD has (past tense) as yet, so some of the comparisons suck. That could apply to Robbie as much as Shelton right now and RVD has at least 6 years experience on him. RVD was given mic-time at ONS. More than Benjamin's ever had. And it was horrible. Like I say, I like RVD, he entertained me in ECW and he's watchable. Maybe a couple of years ago, he could and should have been World Champ. Now? Not so much. I really, really don't see what's so special about him though.

Last show before LTP~ Serena talks. Wright talks. Rodez talks.

Okay, comments in the hope of comments to follow: Hoffzarian! *marks* Putting me over is the new putting yourself over, apparantly. I like Hoff defending the #1 Contendership, even though obviously he's not losing to anyone...but, I like it nonetheless. With something like that, anyone can step up...where-as the World Title should really be for contenders and contenders only. More Originals build. Nice to see it still being a mix of people, rather than just one select group. X-Title. Yay for me being put over some more. I'm glad PK decided to use Wright, because I'm having enough trouble writing Rodez's matches at the moment, as you'll see soon enough on the show. Nice little match and some build for the future, which is always good. Ooh, PRL being an ass. Miami Florida? Phff! Refusing a 24/7 title shot...you know, I thought this last time and forgot to mention it. Isn't the 24/7 Title on the line, 24/7? Was it ever? My memory sucked, but I seem to remember it was at one point. Maybe someone stopped that, I dunno. SJ is back. Again, another dynamic for the Originals stuff. I love Whodunnit's. We need to create a Samoan chick for when the bounty's finally collected. "I did it...for d'Rock." Valerie and Constance are Rain and Lacey? Thanks for finally giving a picture reference. For some reason, I kept imagining them as The Glamour Girls when I read their matches, if only because of the names. And Jenny as Rockin' Robin. Yeesh. Hey, my match. This came out much better than expected so, you know, read it. Now. So now, Axel's beating Kobashi? Eh. If Chono can be HI-YAH Champ, Kobashi can get beat by Axel I guess. Yay for me getting put over again! Another nice promo, some more build for AS...oh, and here's someone interrupting to ask for a match. Didn't we see that earlier? Seeing as we're all recycling plot devices, I guess it's cool if I form my new stable, The Thrillorgy then. "Madder than a wet hen" has to be the worst imagery since "like a sack of wet mice". I'm liking CSI. You've got the comedy in with the serious stuff, which is good. More Originals dynamics now, with Dan and Zack still not getting along. This Originals thing is really going well. World Title match? On TV? In the middle of the show? Cornette's gonna be pissed! HI-YAH Super Heavyweight Title? What's next? HI-YAH North American Title? Uhm, yeah, decent match cut short by interference by CWM. I smell some storylining going on. Boy, Brodie sure does say bleep a lot. Short but sweet...and CC's promo wasn't bad either. Well, somebody's got to fill Frigid's shoes now he's gone and Zack's now he's fawning over real people. And Leena. And that Kelly chick. Crappy match from me. Mental note: Don't try to write two matches for one show, especially if you only start them Thursday morning. Hey, it's a LC guy. X wants more respect. OMGPOTKETTLEBLACK~! Short but sweet stuff from The Docs too. And no, that's not a comment on the writer this time. Nice to see character direction for X. The Legend Killer of the OAOAST, if you will. And a great match from Hoff to end the show.

I can see London's point. He had to stop using his move to make sure Kidman didn't get all upset again. And he stuck to it, aside from the one time in storyline when it made sense. So, London uses a different move, tries to establish it. Then, Juvi comes in and steals it two or three weeks in. London's probably angry about that as much as the move itself being stolen.

I'm calling it. Detroit, Michigan. HI-YAH HV CHAMPIONSHIP Bohemoth © vs. Leon Rodez (Non-Anal) DEBUTANTS MATCH Serena Blackmore vs. Kumiko Watanabe vs. El Chica Genérico Edit: Send your stuff to me, PK, by 10PM Eastern on Thursday.

Scratch that. Hassan makes the don't like list.

Hey, if they kill off the character, maybe they can give him...you know, a good one this time.

COLE Well, up next, we have ourselves a match that's been a few weeks in the waiting. This was scheduled to be a big match on the Great Angle Bash card. But due to a sneak attack by Women's Division competitor Serena Blackmore on Jade Rodez, this didn't go ahead. It's Bohemoth, HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion, to take on challenger Leon Rodez. And of course, we saw these two mix it up earlier... CABOOSE That was horrible. Poor Christian Wright got screwed out of the X-Division Title because Lord Loverocket came out here and stuck his nose where it didn't belong! COLE Lord Loverocket? CABOOSE When I get angry, my wit isn't as strong as it usually is. COLE In any case, this'll be the first time the HI-YAH Title has been defended on American soil. Bohemoth defended the belt recently in Japan, but hasn't done so here yet...until now. COACH Hopefully. COLE ...yeah. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time-limit...and it is for the HI-YAH WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" BUFFER In this match, HI-YAH Rules will be in effect. 20 counts will be observed on the floor and throwing an opponent over the top-rope is an automatic disqualification, at the referee's discretion. Introducing first, the challenger. Hailing from GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN... "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE Ugh. BUFFER ...he weighs in at two hundred, twenty eight pounds! "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLEEEEEEOOOONN... RRRRRROOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!!! [b]*GOOOOONG!*[/b] "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" "GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN! GET DOWN, GET DOWN!" The crowd go BANANA~ for the 'hometown' hero as "Jungle Boogie" by Kool and the Gang hits, heralding the arrival of Leon Rodez! Dancing out through the curtains, Rodez beams from ear to ear as he stares out into the Michigan crowd. Rodez then pumps his fist to his heart, before walking on down to the ring, his black and yellow robe flowing behind him. COACH Well, this is a step forward from the Bash. We have Rodez out from the back. COLE And what a reaction from the crowd for the Michigan native, eh? Rodez bypassing the ring and circles the ringside area, tagging the fans of his fellow Michiganers on the way around. Oh, and Coach. I don't know where Cole is from. I don't particularly care, either. Reaching his starting point, Rodez finally rolls into the ring and leaps to the middle rope, looking out into the crowd again. Rodez then leaps down, removing his robe and putting it around the shoulders of Michael Buffer. CABOOSE What an idiot. COLE The same idiot that helped you score a win last week? CABOOSE ...still an idiot. Rodez goes through some last minute warm-ups...as suddenly, the strains of AC/DC's "Back In Black" sound out through the Joe Lou, as pimping as ever. First to emerge through the curtains is Christian Wright, unsurprisingly getting some heavy, heavy boos. As behind him follows the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champ himself, Bohemoth. With the belt hanging over his shoulder, Bohemoth shows off TEH GUNZ0RS~!, to applause from Wright and Wright only. BUFFER And, his opponent. Accompanied to the ring by Christian Wright...from Greenville, South Carolina! He weighs two hundred and eighty four pounds. The reigning and defending HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD~! This is... BOOOOOOOOO - HHEEEEEEEEMMOOOOOTTTHHHHHH!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wright leads the way for his champion bodyguard, arguing with various out-spoken fans on the way. Behind him, Bohemoth is completely focused on his opponent in the ring, not taking his eyes off of Rodez as he walks to the ring. COLE Bohemoth has been champion since June 23rd, so he's approaching the one month mark as champion. Only one title defence thus far though and certainly, this'll be his biggest. As he reaches the ring, Bohemoth recieves a pat on the back from his compadré Christian, before jogging up the ring steps. Bohemoth then enters, Rodez not backing down as the bigman strolls up to him, making sure Rodez gets a good look at the belt that he owns. Looking back, Rodez smirks and makes the world recognised 'belt motion' in Bohemoth's direction. Referee Mike Choida takes the title from Bohemoth, raising it aloft as the prize for this match, obviously in a hurry to get the match underway before all hell can break loose. Tensions continue to run high, as Chioda passes the belt out to ringside and quickly signals for the bell... *DINGDINGDING!* ...and immediately, the fight picks up from where it had left off earlier in the night, as both men dive forward with right hands flying! The scuffle drops to the mat, Bohemoth mounting Rodez and swiping from left to right with crossfaces. Rodez manages to turn over though, mounting Bo with some of his own right hands. Referee Choida tries to get the fight apart. But he doesn't need to, as Bohemoth shoves Rodez off of him and both men roll to their feet. Charging forward, Bo looks for a clothesline but Rodez ducks underneath. Hitting the ropes in front, Rodez quickly leaves his feet, catching Bo as he turns with a flying forearm that sends the big man staggering backwards. Rodez hits the ropes again, this time with a clothesline that doesn't budge Bo much. He tries again, but again Bo holds firm. So Rodez hits the ropes once more, ducking underneath a wild swing from Bohemoth...AND JABBING HIM IN THE EYES!! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE Oh, you're kidding me! Bohemoth blindly stumbles around the ring, as Rodez lines him up, hitting a jab! A jab! A jab! ...Bo goes for the knee with a quick kick. Two, three, four more kicks rock the 'exposed' knee of the challenger before Bo grabs Rodez, whipping him towards the turnbuckles. Rodez hits the corner sternum first and staggers out, Bo right behind him with a clothesline that crushes him against the buckles a second time. Turning slowly around, Rodez takes a quick kick to the gut. And one to the knee. Before Bo fires off three quick kicks to the gut again, following them up with a hard haymaker which connects with Rodez's jaw! Slumping, Rodez is dazed, as Bo pulls him out of the corner by the hair. With a double handed shove, Bo launches Leon back into the corner, charging in with a shoulder to the gut. And a second. A third! Bo backs off, waiting for Rodez to fall to a knee before whipping him off the ropes. Rodez shoots back, ducking a clothesline...and a back elbow...and a second clothesline, grabbing the ropes this time to stop his momentum, which leaves Bohemoth stranded for a moment. Bo slowly lumbers around in his search for Rodez... RODEZ IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT *beep*ER!?! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The furious HI-YAH Champ sprints at Rodez, but Rodez is waiting, drop-toe-holding Bo throat-first across the middle rope! The crowd erupt as Rodez starts to do a little disjointed jig on the spot. Rodez then hits the opposite ropes and sprints back at top speed directly at Bo, driving all of his body weight into the lower back!! COACH CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES, YOOO~! RODEZ C'MON BEH-BAY! COLE Leon Rodez firing up here! Clutching his back, Bo walks gingerly away from the ropes. Rodez is waiting, connecting with a dropkick that sends Bohemoth crashing through the ring ropes and out to the floor. Watching on despairingly, Christian Wright rushes over to check on his man, while Rodez backs into a neutral corner, kicking his feet up and lounging across the top rope. COLE Well, not a successful start for Bohemoth. CABOOSE Well he got poked in the eyes! What do you expect? Fuming on the floor, Bohemoth ignores the fact he has a 20 count on the floor as he slides immediately back in and storms towards Rodez. Hopping off the ropes, Rodez meets Bohemoth coming with right hands, rocking the champion back a step. Rodez hits a good seven to eight punches before halting his barrage and grabbing an arm, looing for an irish whip. Bo stands firm though, digging his heels in and preventing the whip. Bo then yanks Rodez forward with a whip of his own, watching him rebound off the ropes before throwing up a boo...NO! Rodez slides underneath the boot, reaching up and cradling Bohemoth up into a schoolboy... 1... 2... Kickout. Coming to his feet, Bo swings wildly and misses. Rodez waits for him to spin back around before ducking low, lifting Bo by the waist and managing to get an inverted atomic drop off. Stopping to shake off some pain in his knee, Rodez then hooks on a front facelock and throws over the arm for a suplex. Bo blocks once, so Rodez grabs the wrist and twists out in front, hitting a boot and finally getting his whip on the champion. Back shoots Bohemoth, Rodez springing off his feet as he returns, firing a spinning back elbow into the jaw of the bodyguard turned wrestler! Bo comes to a skidding halt, holding his jaw, while Rodez clambers back up. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The chants of the crowd cause Rodez to stop momentarily, acknowledging his home-state fans. He then goes back to the offense, pushing Bo back a step... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOO!" ...and lashes him with a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOO!" ...and a second. Rodez then takes a back step, firing of a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Leon turns, blowing the kiss, before turning around... *WHAM!* ...and getting his head TAKEN OFF with a STIFF~! Lariat!! COLE Good Lord! As Rodez flops and flaps on the mat, Bohemoth drops down and makes a casual cover... 1... 2... Kickout. As he gets to his feet Bohemoth stumbles back, as Rodez desperately and weakly tries to irish whip him to the corner. The big man stands firm though, and Rodez doesn’t have enough power to throw Bo across the ring. Instead Bo reverses, sending Rodez crashing into the opposite corner…before following in with a body (and ring) shaking running shoulder charge! Unable to stands Rodez collapses forwards, as Bo flips him onto his back, and drops a big leg across the throat. Quickly Bo goes for a cover, as Chioda is down to count… 1... 2... NO! COLE Rodez needs to stop going for that irish whip. Those muscles aren't just for show...the gun show, if you will...Bohemoth really is a stong SOB. From the outside, Wright lambasts Chioda about his 'slow' count. But Chioda doesn't know what lamabst means and ignores the yelling. Pulling Leon up once more, Bohemoth hooks one arm around the challenger's head before grabbing a handful of tights. Bo then takes a quick, threatening glance out into the Detroit crowd, before popping his hips and taking Rodez up into a suplex position. As he reaches the peak of the suplex though, Rodez manages to wriggle out of Bo's grasp and lands on his feet behind. Before Bo can react, Leon jumps forward hooking an arm around the back of Bo's head, and bulldogging his him face-first into the mat! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Getting up, Rodez is greeted with a torrent of abuse by Christian Wright standing in his eyeline on the floor…which he just smiles off. Bohemoth very quickly starts to get up from the Bulldog, but meets Leon’s boots as he dropkicks him in the face, making a cover... 1... 2... Kickout. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" With the fans behind him, Rodez encourages Bohemoth to get back up. Which the bigman does. Rodez is waiting, going low and charging with all his might to push the champion back into the turnbuckles. Reaching down, Bohemoth latches his arms around Rodez's waist with a standing headscissors almost applied. But Rodez begins to charge with his shoulder, as Bohemoth had earlier. Eventually Bohemoth gives up his grip, allowing Rodez to carefully stand back up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOO!" ...and connect again with the chop. Growling through the pain, Bohemoth reaches forward and grabs Rodez behind the head, spinning him into the corner. As he finds himself backed in though, Rodez throws up his feet, planting them in the chest of the Champion. Bohemoth staggers back a little at a loss for breath, giving Rodez time to push himself onto the middle rope. Again Bo charges, but again he gets a boot planted in his sternum. Away staggers the Champ again, far enough for Rodez to launch off the ropes, hooking the head and swinging Bohemoth around with a flying, swinging Tornado DDT!! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Planted him! As Bohemoth slumps, Rodez drops an arm on top for a quick pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Rodez abandons the one-arm cover, making a better attempt at the pin... 1... 2... Kickout again. CABOOSE Ah, he missed a big opportunity with that poor excuse for a cover. COLE Rodez went for speed rather than effectiveness and it failed to satisfy. CABOOSE Yeah, I heard that was a problem in his last job too. COLE AND CABOOSE *high-five* COLE Perfect set-up, perfect execution. CABOOSE And, yet, I feel so dirty. In the midst of the CCC idiocy (that's not coo'), Rodez has brought Bohemoth back up and is laying into him with a series of right hands. Pausing momentarily, Rodez begs Bo to take a free shot at his chin. Bohemoth tries, but Rodez weaves behind him, latching his arms under Bohemoth's chin and dragging him down onto his knees spine first!! COLE Lungblower!! Bohemoth arches off of Rodez and lands to his side, holding his back. Looking to follow up quickly, Rodez drops straight south with a back senton across the spine! Groans and moans escape the HI-YAH Champ, as Rodez rolls him over an attempts another pinfall... 1... 2... Kickout again!! COLE It seems like Bohemoth may have met his match. He's obviously an impressive athlete, but experience is not on his side tonight...and, quite frankly, he's being out-wrestled. Unable to do anything more than watch on in despair, Christian Wright tries to will Bohemoth to do something. But his bad back means all he can do is use the ropes to pull himself up. Rodez is waiting, using a side waistlock to send him into the ropes. As Bohemoth rebounds, Rodez drops to one knee and extends an elbow for Bo to run into. The champion doubles over, as Rodez reaches up and snapmares him over. Rodez then jigs back, measuring the exact point on Bo's spine he wants to connect with... *SMACK!* ...and PUNTS him with a Dragon Kick! Smirking, Rodez watches an imaginary football soar off into the distance, as Bohemoth writhes in pain behind him. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The crowd are diggin' it. But Christian Wright is not, saying enough is enough finally and jumping onto the apron. Chioda quickly goes over to Wright to order him off the apron and back to ringside. But suddenly, Rodez pulls Chioda aside and tells him not to worry about Wright, because there's nothing he can actually do! Chioda doesn't seem to agree, but follows Rodez's lead, as the challenger blatantly ignores Wright! CABOOSE Wha...HEY! YOU SHOULD BE DISTRACTED, IDIOT!! COLE Why? Wright can't touch Rodez outside of a match environment, remember? If Chioda and Rodez ignore him, there's nothing he can do. CABOOSE Wait...damn it, you're right! The one time you're right and it has to be about that? Damn! As Wright stands aimlessly waving his arms, trying to get someone...anyone's attention, Rodez goes back over to Bohemoth. A high knee to the back sends Bo stumbling into the corner, connecting sternum first. Out staggers Bohemoth, Rodez sliding to his side and tripping Bo from the side with an STO. Right in position. Position, for the 450! The crowd pop as Rodez exits the ring, climbing up the ropes with Bohemoth still down and hurting. Nothing can stop Rodez now it seems... ...until the ropes beneath him shake uncontrollably, causing him to be crotched on the top rope!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damn it, Wright just crotched Rodez!! CABOOSE Didn't touch him. Doesn't matter. *DINGDINGDING!* CABOOSE What the hell!?! COLE I think it matter to Mike Chioda! He's calling for the bell and this one is over here! Boos sound out through the crowd, as Wright feigns a little anger at his man presumably getting DQed. Rodez remains crotched up top meanwhile. Bohemoth meanwhile gets pulled from the ring by Wright, who helps his man (and belt) away from the ring. BUFFER Your winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification...LEON RODEZ!! "YEEEAAAHH!" BUFFER But, STILL your HIYAH World Heavyweight Champion...BOHEMOTH!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CABOOSE Man, what a crappy ending. COACH Hey, give the kid a break, he already wrote the Women's Match. He just ran out of time again, s'all. CABOOSE ... COLE ... COACH What? It's true!

Pretty much everyone. I really can't think of a bad wrestler I don't like or can't find a positive to.

The promo UTSU mentioned was pretty much a few funny lines and that's it anyway.