King Cucaracha

I can't believe you didn't use my original graphic! Feedback later. Promise this time.

I forgot to post and was actually up one this past week. So if you want to change it go ahead. But, really, one whole pound.

Yours sincerely, The Internet.

The cynic in me says they wouldn't have continued if they didn't have a main-event title switch planned, but yeah, I don't know as you can really criticise Vince too hard, since no-one actually knows what it's like to be in that position.

1) Jericho's had his fair share of not so great matches with trained wrestlers, let alone actors. I don't think you can guarantee him carrying Rourke. 2) A 'good match' doesn't do anything for either guy. Rourke's going to go away afterwards and Jericho's career going onwards depends on a lot of things besides teh workrate. If he were making a one-shot ROH (re)appearance, workrate'd be all he's judged on. This is completely different.

COLE AngleMania VIII, just 77 days away now. And we already know one half of our main-event in Indianapolis. This past Sunday's Lethal Rumble saw the awakening of a Meterosexual Monster... [QUOTE=OAOAST ANGLEPALOOZA 2009, Lethal Rumble Match] Reject thinks he's eliminated both guys, and starts to celebrate, but Bo has just gone to the apron, and rolls back inside and comes to his feet. Reject and Bohemoth stare each other down briefly from across the ring. COLE Two men left! The Deadly Alliance vs the In-Crowd! Reject vs Bohemoth! Which one of these men will go on to AngleMania? Reject charges, and throws a right hand, which is blocked, and a slugfest ensues! Bo gets the better of the exchange, then whips Reject into the ropes, and attempts a PRESS SLAM~!, but Reject slips behind the back, and tries for the EULOGY~!!!!!11111, but Bo blocks, shoving Reject into the ropes, and clotheslines Reject to the mat! COLE Bo strikes the first big blow! Bo then whips Reject into a corner, and charges, but Reject gets a foot up! Reject then climbs onto the shoulders of Bo, and rolls over into a victory roll, then gets to his feet, hooks Bo's legs, and turns him over into the R-LOCK~!!!!!11111 COACH R-Lock! Bo crawls to the ropes, then grabs the middle rope, and uses the momentum to pull Reject over the top rope! Reject hangs on, as Bo puts his hands on his knees in the middle of the ring, and skins the cat, then comes back in and tosses Bo over the top! COLE Ooooh, not quite! Bo narrowly avoids the floor, then rolls back inside and quickly gets to his feet, catching the charging Reject with a SPINEBUSTER~! COLE And Reject gets caught! Bo picks up Reject, and THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR~!!!!! *DING DING DING* COACH COLE REJECT IS GONE! BOHEMOTH!!! BOHEMOTH IS GOING TO ANGLEMANIA!!![/QUOTE] COLE So it will be Bohemoth challenging for the World Heavyweight Title on the biggest stage in the OAOAST, AngleMania, after surviving 29 other opponents. And we will hear live from the new number one contender next week in St. Louis, where I've got the exclusive first interview on this very show. In the meantime, our backstage cameras caught footage of Bohemoth as he came through the curtain fresh off of the biggest victory of his career. And here's an exclusive look at that. [COLOR=orange][b]<<<OAOAST.COM EXCLUSIVE>>>[/COLOR][/b] Just past the 'go' position we catch up with the Rumble winner, distant sounds of cheering fans still audible as he's just gotten through the curtain. Sweating from his half an hour plus exertion, Bohemoth limps through the walkway into the main backstage area, to find Josh Matthews waiting for him. Bo has to take a deep intake of breath, wiping some of the sweat from under his nose as he smiles. MATTHEWS Bo, congratulations, how are you feeling moments after winning the Lethal Rumble? BOHEMOTH Oh man. First of all, I'm feeling relieved to have survived, hung on and won the thing. When it came down to just me, Alfdogg and Reject the odds weren't looking too good. But I'd come too far to throw it away at that point. Two on one, didn't matter, I dug in and I did what I said I was gonna do and that's win the Lethal Rumble. And now, that means I've got a whole lot to look forward to I guess. World Title, AngleMania main-event. It's been a long time coming but I'm there. And it feels great. MATTHEWS Well congratulations again Bo, great job, we'll let you go and celebrate. BOHEMOTH Thanks Josh. Patting Josh on the back Bo limps on, being greeted by a congratulatory hug from a certain blonde just as we fade out.

****ENTRANCES AS PROVIDED BY PATTY**** *DINGDINGDING!* "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" COLE It is DEAFENING in here! COACH It is when you're SHOUTING into the MICROPHONE! Even Krista seems surprised by the volume of noise in her support. Champion and challenger just stand looking around the crowd for a while, the noise getting louder in every section Krista gazes at, boos mixed in towards Leon. COLE Well we've said that Leon can't let this hostile atmosphere affect him. But on the same hand, Krista can't let the crowd put extra pressure on her shoulders. COACH What!? This is [i]Krista[/i] we're talking about. COLE Yeah, I know, I know. Perhaps in an effort to get the crowd back on his side, the World Champion offers to start the match with a handshake. KRISTA Timmy Cash, is that you!? LEON Are you going to shake it or what? KRISTA Oh dear oh dear, there's been a terrible mix-up. FYI, the name's Duncan, not Nerdly, so that little pick-up line of yours shall not be dignified with trembling of the knees and quivering of the lips, nor with a response. Except that rant. Cause you know, that's kinda what I do. Somebody says something to me and I elongate my reply as far as possible. It's a little game I've come up with in my time in the OAOAST. The first such occassion I implimented this game was in 2003, when duri... LEON Fine, forget it. Retracting the hand, Leon starts to circle the ring. Not used to being ignored in mid-speil Krista looks almost hurt. Almost. COLE Thankfully we've got a microphone near the ring to pick up what's being said over this raucous crowd. COACH Good cover. COLE Thanks. Finally the two square off and go to lock up. Krista avoids Leon's grasp and breaks into a jumping jacks routine! KRISTA ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! (sees Leon staring at her) AND SEVEN! AND EI... eh, you get the idea with that. Not wanting to wear herself out early or alternatively waste all of her humbling abilities early Krista leaves the humbling there. They go to lock-up again and again Krista goes to evade underneath. Leon reads it and catches Krista in a rear waistlock. Leon takes Krista up off her feet, legs kicking as she avoids being taken to the canvas. She remains trapped in the hold though and stuck for an escape. So, back to the jumping jacks she goes! ONE! TWO! THREE! AND CAUGHT IN A FULL NELSON IN THE MIDDLE OF NUMBER FOUR! With her arms out of action, Miss California breaks into a can-can routine until Leon lets her go. "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" KRISTA No no, really now, that's not neccessary. Yes, the action was there. I... just didn't feel the emotion. I can hardly bare to humiliate the poor guy, he's had to deal with so much humiliation through his own self styled lothario lifestyle it's almost like kicking a dead dog. Satisfying the first couple of times, after that a little excessive and shallow. CHIODA Who are you talking to? KRISTA Oh it doesn't matter, they can all hear me. It's like a Shakespeare play. Really these should be internal thoughts, but I take a step forward and suddenly everyone can hear what they shouldn't really be able to. I wonder if I left the gas on. Leon just stands watching. Once Krista's stopped, he curtly asks her if she's done yet. COLE Leon's got to try and keep his focus, almost to ignore Krista's antics. Which is easier said than done. Realising she's not broken through quite yet, Krista tries to annoy Leon a little more by taking a timeout to go to ringside. The challenger forgets all about her title challenge for the moment, going over to pose for a few cellphone pictures from the crowd. Krista meet and greets her way over to the crowd, where we find the not-so-extended Duncan family with front row seats! Calling her timeout again, she steps over the rail to converse with Maya, while Alix produces a SPIT BUCKET and throws a towel around her girlfriend's shoulders to cool her down. KRISTA What do you think honey, did the jumping jacks get across my lack of concern properly, or do I need to go up a stage? MAYA I thought the jumping jacks were okay. The can-can was a touch am-dram though. KRISTA Hmm. Good point. What do you think Alix. ALIX AH, YOU'RE A CONTENDER KRISTA! YOU GOTTA BACK IN THERE AND YOU GOTTA KNOCK HIM OUT! YOU CAN'T DO IT ROCKY! YOU AIN'T GOT WHAT IT TAKES NO MORE! KRISTA Hmm. Good point. Jade? Jade hides away at the side in non-commital silence. KRISTA Hmm. Good point. What's the count at Maya? MAYA Uhm... eight. KRISTA And I've been out here, by my count, at least fifteen, so it looks like the referee's on my side. That's good to know. Okay, bye-byes all! Krista climbs back to ringside and re-enters the ring. Leant back in a corner Leon tries not to get sucked into the challenger's unorthodox gameplan and keeps his head. Clearly he's eager to wrestle though and tries to hurry things up now Krista is back in the ring, marching towards her. Krista stays on her toes, backing away before a sudden change of speed and direction guides her past the World Champion. Rodez turns and drops to the mat, forcing KID up and over. As Krista comes back off the ropes again Leon throws his hands up in front of him, which miraculously causes Krista to put on the brakes. LEON Oh my God, look up there! Disobedient to the end, Krista doesn't look up and just stands with hands on hips disapprovingly. KRISTA Oh honey, you're going to have to do better than that. I'm far to nonchalant to look at anything without a valid reason. That's what makes me such an icon of cool. LEON Okay then... oh my God, look up there, it's a... uh... a ravenous falcon tearing apart Gary Coleman limb from limb in the rafters having plucked him from the stands? KRISTA No sale. LEON No, but seriously though, you really should look up there. KRISTA Two weeks ago, one of my kitchens caught fire in a meth lab experiment gone wrong. I only know this because when the paramedics rushed in ten minutes later to treat Alix for severe burns, they managed to talk over Kate Winslet's SAG speech and disrupt me. If ferocious explosions and pained screams aren't going to make me turn my head, what makes you think you pointing will? Hmm? Hmm? LEON Fine, to prove I'm serious, I'll look. Leon looks up, making his point. Krista interest isn't peaked at all and instead, she kicks Leon in the gu... NO! Leon catches the boot, tripping Krista up and setting her for the LIONTAMER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Haha! More than one way to skin a cat! COLE Leon playing Krista at her own game and could have her in trouble now! Able to prevent from being turned Krista crawls her way backwards to find the ropes. Leon quickly lets her go and backs away. Sliding out onto the apron, Krista tries to figure out how she was fooled. COLE It's a game of mental chess thus far, a game which neither of these charismatic and creative superstars are winning just yet. Who will get the upperhand and who will leave Los Angeles as the World Champion? We'll find out when we come back! [b]*COMMERCIAL BREAK*[/b] And when we come back, it's Leon in control with Krista grounded in a standing leg-lock. Krista attempts to distract the wandering eyes of The New Age Love Machine with a cupping of her breasts, but one twist on the knee causes Krista to clutch her head in pain instead. COLE Welcome back to this episodic 300th episode of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Our main-event in progress, Krista Isadora Duncan in her first ever World Championship challenge right here in her hometown of Los Angeles, but struggling to get the edge on Leon Rodez so far. COACH It's just a matter of time though. That's Krista's style. She wears your brain down until it's mush, then slaps you 'till that mush starts spilling out through your ear or your nose or something. Then she pins you. It's a pretty good strategy. As Krista reaches back looking for the ropes, Leon adjusts his position. Placing Krista's right leg between his, he drops to his knees. The contortion leaves Krista in further pain and a few damaged ligaments closer to a big pay-off from Lloyds Of London. Retreating into a corner Krista tries to ward Leon off, who is backed off by the referee as he approaches. Happy to let her up, Leon picks Krista's leg once upright and brings her hopping out of the corner. He drives an elbow into the kneecap. Turning in, Leon then elevates Krista onto his back and attempts the backpack stunner, but the challenger surprises him with a sleeper hold! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Uh-oh! Leon got caught there! With her million-dollar pins wrapped around Leon's waist, all of Krista's body weight is forced forward with the sleeper and Leon looks to be fading quickly. Retreating, he manages to run Krista back into the turnbuckles and get a quick break. But with Leon still spluttering to get his breath, Krista comes off the middle rope with a victory roll... 1... 2... No! Both are quickly back up, with Krista aiming for Leon's head with a spinning kick. Leon goes underneath and with the ropes right in front of him, he's able to catch Krista with a chopblock before she can turn back around! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Momentarily distracted by the crowd, Leon re-applies the leglock, this time falling to the mat with a cross kneebar. COLE A shrewd offensive gameplan from the World Champion, attacking those million dollar legs of Krista. And he's been able to defend against Krista's off-putting style so far as well. COACH Why attack the legs though? If you hurt Krista's legs, she gets a cool ten million. Smack her in the head real hard, then she won't be able to use her legs properly, but medically they'll be fine so she doesn't cash in. That's doing real damage. As the Duncan family watch on amongst the rest of Krista's LA fanbase she refuses to quit, wagging a finger. After a few seconds she manages to manoeuver over, grabbing the bottom rope and forcing a break. Leon picks her back up and again takes out a leg from underneath her. Krista counters though, using the strength in those valuable assets to backflip and land on her feet! She then rolls forward underneath a clothesline, popping up and springboarding off the middle rope with a crossbody block! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" 1... 2... No! Sent rolling towards the ropes Krista lures Rodez into charging and backdrops him over the top, to the apron. Her follow-up slap is ducked though, Leon weaving through the ropes and delivering a shoulder to the midsection. Leon quickly ducks through the middle rope again, before sliding himself back in under the bottom, dropkicking Krista's leg out as he does so, causing Miss California to fall throat-first across the middle rope! COLE Look out here. To derisive boos Leon attempts the jig, before realising which way the winds of popular opinion are blowing. And it's not in his direction. So he hits the ropes without much fuss, charging back... ...and getting caught with a hurricanrana by Krista, sending him spilling out through the ropes and to the floor! COLE Krista had the answer for the Bojangles, what's she got in mind now? COACH I dunno. Shoes? Krista pops back to her feet, spotting Leon leant up against the guardrail being cajowled by the Los Angeles natives in the front row. As they slap at his back and yell in his ears the fitness queen performs a few limber stretches to loosen up her knees. It doesn't hurt that those stretches give the other side of the crowd some swank ass shots. Once loosened up, Krista takes off into the ropes. Approaching the ring ropes the GLAADiator takes flight, flinging herself up over the top with a FRONTFLIP PLANCHA, completely bowling over the World's Champion!! "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" Krista calls for, and gets, a cold beverage from a nearby fan. Better judgement forces her to hand it back and call over one of the vendors for a clean one, while Leon lays hurt on the ringside mats. COLE For all of Leon's attempts to slow Krista down and maybe imobilise a leg, the hometown heroine is still as nimble and agile as ever! COACH And still as alcohol dependant as ever. COLE A dangerous combination! Having supped her precious booze, Krista helps Rodez back to his feet and brushes him across the face with some slaps in an effort to bring him back to his senses. Once Leon's eyes open up fully, she blows him a kiss. A nice gesture, followed by a not so nice roundhouse kick to the head, the kiss perhaps a kiss goodbye! Falling against the apron the World Champion is bundled back inside by Krista, who jumps to the apron herself and shakes her booty to amuse herself while waiting. As Leon gets to his feet, she springboards to the top. And Leon can only look up in horror, watching Krista tumble towards him with another frontflip attack! Krista lands right on top of Rodez's chest, reaching back and hooking a leg... 1... 2... NO! Leon staggers back into a corner looking for a breather. A breather not forthcoming, as Krista dropkicks him against the turnbuckles. KRISTA DO YOU WANT ME TO STOMP ON HIS TESTICLES!?! CROWD YYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!! KRISTA ...wow, you guys are harsh. That's kinda unnerving really, considering I have to live amongst you. Yikes. Forgoing the ball stomping Krista instead whips Rodez across the ring, from corner to corner. Krista builds herself up, slapping the turnbuckle to get the crowd clapping, stomping her feet to... keep the crowd clapping. She slaps herself in the face, psyching herself up, before realising that kinda hurts and wondering why some people would do that. Seriously, try it. It's not fun. Then she lets out a ROAR, an INTENSE ROAR, before charging... ...slowing down to a stop and slapping Leon across the face in the corner. COLE There's that nonchalance again. COACH I asked Krista if she was nonchalant the other day and she just shrugged her shoulders. You think she was being ironic? COLE For me to believe that annecdote, I'd first have to believe that you'd be able to get within ten feet of Krista to engage in conversation without her slapping or demeaning you in some way. Then I'd have to believe that given the chance to reply to something you said, instead of launching into an eight minute diatribe on your ass she'd just shrug her shoulders. So, yeah, you're just as full of crap as those comedians who start off their annecdotes with 'a funny thing happened to me today'. No it didn't. COACH Sometimes you just gotta vent, huh? Krista contemplates the testicle stomp again, her foot hovering inches over the target. But the referee's protests are enough to convince her not to bother. She picks Leon back up again, looking for another irish whip. This time Leon counters though, pulling Krista in and delivering a sudden Exploder Suplex!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE There's a great counter by Leon! Cover by Leon... 1... 2... NO! Pulling Krista to her feet Leon hooks her up, ready for a regular suplex. As he reaches down to grab the leg Krista's long tested female reactions cause her to instinctively swat the hand away. He tries again, but again is denied access. Leon gives up there, instead twisting Krista around so that she's facing away from him and elveating her for a back suplex instead. But Krista floats over, landing on her feet. Momentum sends her backpedalling into a corner and Leon charges in, but a raised knee blocks him off and allows Krista to run the ropes. COLE The pace quickens again. In an attempt to cut Krista off at the pass Rodez tumbles forward, swinging high with the Shack Attack... but Krista ducks underneath, swinging herself around the back and into a rear waistlock. Leon's attempts to elbow her away are both avoided, before KID drops to a knee and clamps on the BALL CLAW! "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" LEON :O COLE The Blue Ball Special! Leon's bulging eyes almost end up popping into the front row once Krista adds a SECOND hand into the mix. Her once proud children cover their eyes shamefully, as the referee begins to lay on a count. Before she can be disqualified, Krista lets go. But she does it in the most gruesome way possible... or, one of them, anyway... by using her tight, uncomfortable grip TO THROW LEON BACKWARDS AND OVERHEAD WITH A SUPLEX!!! COLE BALL PLEX! THE BALL PLEX! I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY!! COACH NOT COOL! The LA crowd are on their feet expecting that to be all, as Krista slinks herself on top... 1... 2... NO!! Leon pulls his hands from his private parts in time to force the shoulders off the mat! "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" COLE It looks like Krista's unique style has finally caught up with the World Heavyweight Champion! We are on the verge of crowning a new Champion, a second female World Champion in OAOAST history, this crowd can sense it and so can we, unless Leon can recover and fast! Left nursing various body parts Rodez lays hurt on the canvas. Krista is up and calling for the end as she waits for Leon to get back up. With the crowd solidly behind her, Krista measures Leon to his feet and goes for the KIDolo... NO! Leon shoves Krista away as she attempts to go for the kill. Despite the injuries he's able to duck a clothesline, getting Krista up for the back suplex this time and converting into a blue thunder powerbomb! COLE IT'S DA BOOM! There's the recovery! 1... 2... NO! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" As Krista kicks out Leon cringes, but forces himself to his feet. COLE Back and forth this match goes, much like their meeting last year, where Krista eventually came up on the winning end on her way to capturing the Money In The Bank prize. And Leon must be wondering now, like so many others have in the past, if he can beat Krista. So far, none of those others [i]have[/i] been able to in one on one competition! With his earlier gameplan the only one to bring him success so far, he goes back after the leg. As he bends down to pick a leg though, Krista vaults the other leg over and uses the World Champion like a pommel horse, escaping his clutches. Confused, Leon then walks right into a spinning wheel kick! COACH How the hell did she do... whatever she just did!? Jumping over the fallen World Champion, the booty goes back into furious motion, Krista loading up the booty shaking moonsault. The booty shaking part is there, you'd better believe it. But the moonsault is jeopardised by raised knees... ...but Krista lands, blocking herself from landing on those knees! Sweeping them away, she then jumps up again AND DOUBLE STOMPS LEON IN THE FACE!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE More outstanding agility from Krista, she could have it right here! COACH Outstanding agility and extreme cruelness, she stomped his [i]face[/i]! Not finished yet, Krista drags Rodez across the ring towards a corner and scales to the top. After a quick pause for some more ass-shots, she takes off with a picture perfect MOONSAULT from the top rope! 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE But Leon is hanging on! This match so much about Krista's story, Krista's journey, but Leon Rodez isn't interested in being on the other-side of the fairytale. He wants to stay the World Champion! "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" "LET'S GO KRIS - TA!" Krista does go, back to the top. She's forced to pause though as Leon is able to drag himself back up, cutting her off in mid-perch. Climbing to the middle rope he looks to attack, but Krista fights him off with some open handed chops to the chest. She eventually manages to shove Leon back off the ropes, but he lands on his feet and scales right back up, determined not to be denied. Beginning to elevate Krista up onto his shoulders, Rodez is caught with an elbow though. And another. He drops back off the ropes and that allows Krista to get her footing on the top rope. KRISTA YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKED NERDLYS SO I HOOKED YOUR CAR UP WITH A NERDLY SO WHEN YOU DRIVIN' YOU GOT YOSELF A NERDLY TO LOOK AT DAWG! I ALSO PAINTED IT PURPLE SINCE YOU LIKE PURPLE SO MUCH! Having PIMPed her insult, Krista looks to come off the top with a double stomp... ...but Leon moves out of the way! Krista lands on her feet, causing her knee to buckle slightly, all the opening Leon needs to trip out the legs and go for the LIONTAMER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE Leon going for the submission, this would be TRULY historic on this 300th episodic episode of HeldDOWN~! COACH If Krista loses by submission in her hometown, we might never see her face again! She'd become a recluse, too ashamed to face the public ever again! GO LEON! Fighting the hold, Krista struggles to prevent herself from being turned over. She thankful more than ever for all those stomach crunches and sit-ups she's done, her strong abdominal muscles coming in very useful to fight Leon off. "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" Struggling against both the power of Krista's legs and the groundswell of support from the crowd, Leon can't get the challenger turned over. And eventually she's able to fight her way to the bottom rope, a drained Rodez slumping over the top despairingly. "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE No joy for the World Champion! COACH Right now's where you gotta smell the coffee. Wake up to what's around you. Thousands of screaming fans, the TV audience watching on and an unbeatable woman across the ring. Roll on out, take a countout, or grab a chair and waffle her. That's the only way you're leaving as World Champion tonight Leon. COLE I'm sure there's many people who are thinking the same thing. But Leon is out to prove them all wrong, to prove himself as a worthy World Champion. And beating Krista is going to do that, in the ring, not via technicality. Leon wearily picks Krista back up, kicking her in the knee a couple of times. Miss California is backed against the ropes, the rest of her Californian underlings trying to give her some much needed support. They can't prevent her from being irish whipped though, then caught off the ropes with a Powerslam! Following up, Rodez drives his body weight down with a back senton! And then covers... 1... 2... NO! Getting desperate, Leon drags Krista up again. Realising he's not going to win while holding anything back he dishes out a forearm smash to the jaw. A second forearm connects. With a quick spin, he then slams a Rolling Sole BUTT into the well-toned abs of The GLAADiator! COLE It's one thing asking if Leon has anything to finish Krista off, because we don't know what, if anything, there is that anyone could do to accomplish that! Leon has to find something though. After a deep breath, Leon loads up and comes off the ropes looking for the Shack Attack. He tucks and rolls, but MISSES the clothesline, getting caught in position for the side effect... but he manages to throw Krista aside before suffering that move. A boot to the gut doubles Krista back up again, this time getting her arms double underhooked. Leon then elevates Krista up looking for the Tiger Driver... ...NO! Krista counters with a hurricanrana, bringing the crowd to their feet!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Leon rolls back to his feet and walks right into the head hook and the side effect, better known as Blonds Never Pay A Cover!! COLE SHE GOT IT! 1... 2... KICKOUT!! COLE Only a two count! Hardly a moment to catch your breath at this point! COACH Krista can't even find chance to slow down and do something bizarre, that's how crazy this is! Grabbing Leon by the arm Krista attempts to fling him into a corner, but the fling is reversed and it's KID sent towards the turnbuckles. However, she avoids contact by stepping up onto the middle rope. COLE Look at that! Once Leon realises what's going on, he charges... *SMACK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...RIGHT INTO A FLYING SUPERKICK OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE, CATCHING HIM CLEAN IN THE JAW!!!! COLE LOOK AT [i]THAT![/i] Krista dives on top, hooking the legs... 1... 2... 3!! - NO!!!! TWO COUNT ONLY!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE Oh my how close was that!? Some of the fans jumped the gun, people celebrating prematurely, but that right shoulder came up just in time and Krista has not won this match just yet LA! Deep breaths all around, from the fans and from the participants, all trying to get their breath back. Including the Duncan family in the front row. "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" To her feet, Krista flicks the hair from her face and doubles over trying to catch her breath. Even fitness queens get winded sometimes! Thing is, they recover quickly too. Krista hits the ropes as Leon gets back up, swinging with a clothesline. Leon manages to duck underneath though, then scores with a dropkick to the knee, the same knee he's intermitently focused on during the match! That timely move draws sighs and then boos from the crowd, unhappy to see their queen in trouble. Also winded, Leon is slow to follow up, walking over to Krista who's on one knee. He grabs her by the hair, looking to pull her up. But she grabs him by the BALLS, looking to pull something else! COLE Oh, the Blue Ball again! COACH This woman is a menace! If I went around doing that to people, I'd be locked up by now! Some hot white lesbian woman does it and suddenly it's a 'signature move'. That's American justice for ya'll. Having felt the eye-watering effects of this move once before, Leon doesn't hang around waiting for Krista to let go. He reaches down and shoves her away... ...unfortunately, right into a CLUNKing of the head with referee Mike Chioda, who was behind Krista pleading with her to break the hold!! COLE Uh-oh! COACH Not this shit again! Thinking the exact same thing, Leon is distracted by the referee going down and goes to check that he's okay. Aside from a sore eye he seems to be and Leon goes back to the match... ...AND WALKS RIGHT INTO KRISTA LEAPING AND HITTING KIDOLOGY... ...NO!!!! LEON BLOCKS AND COUNTERS INTO THE LIONTAMER!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" COLE UNBELIEVABLE! Leon has turned the tables, Krista is trapped! COACH Set the TiVo! History! History! Finally able to turn Krista over this time Leon places the knee in the back completing the hold. To the complete despair of the crowd, Mike Chioda is able to shake off the effects of the head to head collision, enough to drop beside Krista and check for the submission! "PLEASE DON'T TAP!" "PLEASE DON'T TAP!" "PLEASE DON'T TAP!" "PLEASE DON'T TAP!" COLE This crowd is trying to will Krista to stay in this match, those World Title dreams are slipping away, oh, so agonisingly! Krista tries with all her might to crawl, face etched in pain. None of the Duncan girls in the crowd can look as the rest try to will their hometown heroine on. Leon is struggling now, trying to force the submission, pulling back on the legs in a last ditch attempt. Locking eyes with her family in the crowd, Krista looks despairingly, realising all of their faith and hope is doing her no good at all... ...her arm hovers in the air, causing screams of 'NOOO' to go up all around the arena! But they're not in the hold and they don't know the pain Krista's feeling, as she makes one last effort, shaking her head... ...before her hands comes down, GRASPING THE BOTTOM ROPE TO THE DESPAIR OF THE WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!! "YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COLE I DON'T BELIEVE IT! "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" The atmosphere erupts to another level as Leon sadly lets go of the hold and falls to a knee. Krista is still in pain but at least free of the hold, giving renewing hope to the crowd. COLE What does it take... what does it take to beat Krista Isadora Duncan!? This woman just does not give up! "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" Hauling himself to his feet, Leon drags Krista back up, slowly and painfully. The Los Angeles fans are rampant in their support again as Krista slumps back against the ropes. A weak forearm rocks her. And a second. Leon then attempts an irish whip, but it's reversed. Leon manages to hang onto the ropes on the far side though, putting on the brakes. COLE What a main-event to mark this historic 300th episode! COACH Episodic! With Leon against the ropes, Krista finds the strength to charge in. A dip of the shoulder sees her elevated up and over the top. But she lands safely on her feet on the apron! Grabbing the top rope, Krista then slings herself back in, catching hold of Leon on the way over AND BRINGING HIM DOWN ACROSS THE KNEES FACE-FIRST!!!!! "YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COLE KIDOLOGY!!! KIDOLOGY!!!! Leon's head snaps back and after a couple of agonising seconds, Krista falls on top... 1... 2... NO!! THE REFEREE GETS PULLED OUT OF THE RING!!!!!! COLE WHAT!? Maybe unsurprisingly, it's MISTER DICK who's interjecting himself and he shoves Chioda in the chest to knock him on his BUTT. Mister Dick then quickly jumps into the ring, popping Krista with a right jab, just to confirm the deed and give Mike Chioda no choice but to call for the least popular disqualification in wrestling history! *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE NO!! SON OF A BITCH, NO!! Mr. Dick can afford to smile as he puts the boots to Krista, amidst a CAULDRON of noise from the Los Angeles crowd! It doesn't take long for the trash to start flying into the ring, all aimed at The Human Hard On, as he wails away on Krista. "FUCK YOU DICK!" "FUCK YOU DICK!" "FUCK YOU DICK!" "FUCK YOU DICK!" The boots keep on raining in and so does the trash. Mr. Dick catches one food wrapper lobbed at him, using it to wipe into Krista's face for further humiliation! COLE I can't believe this! I can't believe this rotten, no good, son of a... this DICK! This Dick has just cost Krista Isadora Duncan the World Heavyweight Title in her hometown! COACH Well you know what they say, paybacks are a Dick! Disbelief starts to set in amongst the anger as Mr. Dick drags Krista around the ring, stopping to yell at the raging crowd. But suddenly a cheer goes up, as THA PUERTO RICAN skids into the ring and jumps Mister Dick from behind!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE IT'S PRL! AND HE WANTS A PIECE OF THE DICK! COACH .... COLE Metaphorically. Tha Puerto Rican lays into Mr. Dick with a flurry of punches, backing him up into a corner and continuing to go to town! Legs flailing, Mr. Dick falls against the turnbuckles, PRL not stopping his attack and stomping a mudhole in the Texan's chest and walking it dry! Able to pick himself up, Mr. Dick manages to shove PRL away a step and tries to get away, but is pulled back by the short shorts and rocked with a SPIT PUNCH! He then staggers around to Krista, who is up and delivers a PUNT TO THE BALLS!!! COACH Not there! Mr. Dick's pride and joy is smashed, leaving him open for a double clothesline from PRL and Krista. Taking a spill, Mr. Dick dives over Leon, who is still laying KOed beside the ropes, heading for the hills. PRL climbs the turnbuckles and dares him to come back, but The Human Hard On has clearly accomplished what he set out to and manages a smile as he looks back at Krista fuming at him. COLE A small piece of revenge, but not nearly enough for Krista or PRL! Mister Dick has conspired to ruin the dream homecoming for Krista and to ruin this 300th episode of HeldDOWN~! As Mr. Dick is hounded on his way down the aisle, Tha Puerto Rican plays to the crowd, fired up still having not gotten all he wanted tonight. Krista manages not to seem too disappointed, more incredibly pissed off. She still accepts a handshake from PRL though, the former World Champion raising the hand of the would-be World Champion to the adoring cheers of her hometown fans. COLE Unsatisfying though the ending may be for Krista legions of fans, we hope that you have enjoyed this 300th episode of HeldDOWN~! and we thank you for supporting us in the 299 previous! Here's to another 300, here in the OAOAST. We will be in St. Louis next week for 301! We hope you'll join us there. Goodnight everybody! As Krista accepts the adulation of her fans, HeldDOWN~! FADES OUT for a 300th time.

COLE The main attraction here tonight undoubtedly the OAOAST World Championship match in our main-event. The stars are out in force to support hometown hero Krista Isadora Duncan in her pursuit of the gold. Emotional favourites don't come too much bigger than Krista in LA. In the face of this partizan atmosphere, World Champion Leon Rodez finds himself in the unusual position of spoiler. How is he feeling ahead of tonight's big title defence? He's standing by with Josh Matthews. We find the aforementioned interview and World Champion in front of the HD interview backdrop, a noticably more serious World Champion than usual. MATTHEWS Leon, first of all congratulations on retaining the World Heavyweight Title at AnglePalooza. But as relieved as you must be, little time to dwell on the celebrations from Sunday, as tonight you must defend against Krista Isadora Duncan, in her hometown, never beaten in singles competition. RODEZ So you want to know my thoughts? Quite frankly I'm not sure of them myself. Of course, I'm feeling happy to still be the World Heavyweight Champion. Am I happy with how it went down? Not a bit. Here I stand, on the 300th episode of OAOAST HeldDOWN, representing this company as the World Heavyweight Champion and it's an honour. But I don't feel much honour over what happened Sunday night and to be honest it's one of a few things bugging me just a little bit at the moment. Leon scratches at his neck uncomfortably. RODEZ AnglePalooza was my first big test. Tonight was supposed to be the second. Problem is, I didn't exactly pass the first with flying colours. What with Mister Dick wiping out the referee and Tha Puerto Rican sticking his nose in, Sunday night left everybody with more questions than answers about me as a World Champion. MATTHEWS Well when PRL came down, you were in a pretty bad way. RODEZ Yeah no kidding, I'd just got punched in the nuts. If you want, we can see how you cope with the rest of the interview in a similar condition. MATTHEWS No, that's... that's fine, thank you. RODEZ Besides, I never asked for nor wanted PRL's help. Right after I won the World Title, I vowed to everyone that I was going to be a fighting champion. For the good of the company. For the good of the fans. Not only that, for the good of me, because I realise I've got to prove myself as World Champion. What I wasn't expecting was for my first Pay Per View title defence to be tarnished by outside interference to help me retain. That's not what I had in mind when I vowed to be a fighting champion. Not by a longshot. So I really didn't prove a thing. MATTHEWS Tonight you've definately got the chance to make that up and prove yourself though. And then some. RODEZ Krista's record speaks for itself. There's... something about her. I'm not going to kid myself into thinking any different, because I've been in the ring with her before and I know what she's capable of. She throws people off their gameplans. And it's gotten to the point where psychologically, she's got half of her opponent's beat before they even step into the ring, because they're either so worried about the record, or they're so obsessed with not falling into Krista's gameplan that they don't have time to impliment their own. Don't get me wrong, it's not all headgames. You don't go as long as she has without a singles loss to her name without having talent. But you've got to deal with the headgames or you're done for. So with that said, all of that plus her hometown behind her, you could argue this isn't just my toughest title defence, it's one of the toughest title defences any World Champion has ever had to make. But am I worried? ...well, maybe. But I'm also looking forward to it in a sick, twisted way. This... this is what being World Champion is all about. Nights like this. Challenges like this. If I can overcome this, nobody can doubt that I'm World Title material because it'll be talked about for years to come, that on the 300th HeldDOWN I overcame the odds and put on the performance of a champion. So for all the motivation Krista's got behind her, I've got more than enough of my own. Sunday's been and gone. Tonight, it's all about erasing that memory and creating a better, longer lasting one. Because I don't intend on becoming a footnote in history, I intend on MAKING history. Leon walks off, still in determined mood. MATTHEWS Okay guys, back to you. To Sofa Central. COLE The World Champion clearly focused, but champion or not he goes into tonight's main-event as the underdog to many. Well, to the majority, if you factor everything in. We spoke to leading Las Vegas bookmakers earlier in the week to get their thoughts on proceedings and although they rudely laughed us off and insisted they'd never provide odds on professional wrestling, the last letter of the last word they said, "Off", is an 'F'. And since 'F' designates 'Female', it's clear the Vegas oddsmakers have Krista as their favourite. Very interesting.

MELODY My favourite HeldDOWN~! Moment... it HAS to be when Leon was the 24/7 Champion and he put out that goofy open challenge. And then a guy dressed up like he'd wandered off and got lost from a Star Trek convention over the road, although I'm pretty sure there wasn't one on that date, anyway he came out and he was called 'The Spock'. And he was doing a Rock impression. Because they rhyme? Isn't that the most ingenius thing you've ever heard of in your life? [QUOTE=OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, June 29th 2006] .:CUE: The Theme From Star Trek:. COLE ...wait, what? The crowd, understandably, go MILD~! as confusion hovers over the arena. Leon looks around as if to ask 'what the hell is going on?', as a few seconds of out of place musical interlude pass. Eventually, the entrance doors do slide open and all eyes fix on the entrance way...as a skinny looking figure steps through the curtains. A skinny looking figure that's kitted out in full Trekkie gear. The uniform, the badge, even the Spock ears. Oh, and an eyebrow painted over his actual right eyebrow. ----------------------------- THE SPOCK FINALLY... THE SPOCK... HAS BEAMED BACK, TO PLANET EARTH!! *crickets chirping* Hand on chin, Rodez tries to hide his laughter with a feigned look of interest. Pacing around the ring, The Spock gives the fans time to stop groaning before shooting the Vulcan Eyebrow! Leon can barely keep his laughter in check now, either for the content or the terrible wardrobe job. THE SPOCK And tonight, right here in front of the MILLIONS... ... THE SPOCK ...and MILLIONS of my Trekkie fans, I am going to accept your Open Challenge. And I am going to lay the Spock down on your human ass! COLE Somewhere, Hoff is weeping. COACH Somewhere, [i]PRL[/i] is weeping! THE SPOCK For I am the Klingon beating... [i]lllllalalalallllalalllaaaalloooowwwww[/i] ...Comic Book Convention Meet n' Greeting... ...Enterprise flying, more often than not in danger of dying... Finally Leon has had enough, chuckling under his breath as he holds up a hand and pleads with The Spock to stop. RODEZ Woah woah hold up a second here...are you sure you're in the right place, buddy? Incase you weren't aware, this isn't the Sci-Fi Channel. We're on TSM. And granted, our core audience is made up of dateless nerds as well, but there is a big difference...somewhere. COACH Man TSM is so burned. ----------------------------- THE SPOCK There is no more to say, except this... Cue hand signal. THE SPOCK Just Kling It! COACH Oh, I get it, because of the Klingons right? COLE *groan* ----------------------------- "STAR TREK SUCKS!" "STAR TREK SUCKS!" "STAR TREK SUCKS!" "STAR TREK SUCKS!" COACH Wow, a group of wrestling fans who don't like Science Fiction? What the hell universe [i]are[/i] we in? Pulling Rodez back up, The Spock looks for another irish whip. This time Leon has an answer to the move though and twists underneath the arm, pulling The Spock in, lifting him up and hitting an Inverted Atomic Drop! The Spock hops around holding his little Klingons as Leon now backs off the ropes, building up a head of steam as he charges in...and skids to a halt, as The Spock pulls the old 'hold your hands up and scream stop' trick. Still hurting, The Spock quickly reaches into his pocket and pulls out a...uhm, I forget what it's called. I don't actually watch Star Trek see and I'm certainly not doing research. I think it's a phaser or something. Anyway, whatever it is, The Spock holds it to his chest and prepares to beam himself up... ...and nothing happens. COLE Just when things couldn't get more ridiculous. For what seems an eternity, Leon and The Spock and even Charles Robinson stand around looking at each other awkwardly, before finally The Spock throws the phaser down and goes back on the attack! More right hands find the mark before Spock lands a boot to the gut, setting up another irish whip. In goes Rodez, rebounding off the ropes and back into The Spock, who laboriously lifts Leon up and plants the spine on the pine! COLE Spinebuster! COACH And you know what's coming next... COLE Oh jeez. Stepping over Rodez, The Spock stands at the head and does the weird hand motions. PRL prepares to file a lawsuit, rather than receive one for a change (BURN!), as The Spock then hits the ropes. Over top he goes, bouncing back off the ropes and slowing up, before dropping the elbow! COACH VULCAN'S ELBOW! 1... 2... ... Yeah, right Kickout! Looking a little shocked, The Spock gets back up and drops into a crouch. Leon drags himself back up, still looking lost, as he lumbers around and gets caught under head and arm... COACH SPOCK BOTTOM... ...NO! Rodez elbows his way out of the move, then waits for The Spock to turn back around, popping him with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blows the kiss, turns back...stops, looking at the Star Trek uniform and suddenly realising that maybe wrestling Crystal wasn't so bad after all...then lands the Enziguri! COACH Mama Said Knock You Out! COLE A sembleance of some form of normality, finally. With The Spock down, Rodez calls for the end. A handful of the hair helps Leon to drag The Spock up and keep him controlled as he turns back to back with him. Crouching down, Rodez then sets and hoists The Spock up onto his back, turns and sits out with the Backpack Stunner! COLE Banana Hammock! That's what beat Crystal. 1... 2... 3!! COLE And it beats...The Spock!? Rodez pushes to his knees and looks around the crowd, shrugging his shoulder as Charles Robinson raises his arm in victory.[/QUOTE] MELODY That was a satire-higher level of wrestling, no doubt about it. I actually checked this morning and there are like 450,000 views of that match on YouTube. When they make the best of Leon Rodez DVD that'd better be a DVD extra, or at least an easter egg. Five stars. BACK TO THE ARENA. COACH (sarcastically) Why did we ever get rid of the 24/7 Title?

BLONDE I think it's pretty obvious what my favourite memory of this show is. One of the great moments in the show's history, in the company's history even, the night that changed the world. It was everything great moments are made of. You had drama. You had excitement. You had a story of triumph, a conquering hero, his beautiful assistant. Truly a memorable moment in the OAOAST and on HeldDOWN~!, one that will be spoken of for years in hushed tones of awe. MADDIX That's right, it's the night I won the World Heavyweight Title! [QUOTE=OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, June 28th 2007] MALIBU I want to see people earning their keep around here, FIGHTING their way to the top. I want this company to remain the best damn thing going today, and a champion is only as good as his opposition! I... Zack turns around towards the aisleway and stops for a moment, as Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X from the Lightning Crew have come out to ringside! Malibu doesn't say a word as Boricua climbs up the steps and into the ring, while X circles ringside. COLE Two members of Tha Puerto Rican's Lightning Crew are out here now, and I wonder if they're taking what Malibu's been saying to heart. COACH He said he'd welcome all challengers. COLE I don't think he meant NOW, Coach! Boricua confronts Zack, mouthing off in his face, which Zack takes in stride...until Boricua SPITS on the World Title belt, then slaps Zack across the face! Infuriated, Malibu drops down and takes Boricua's legs out from under him, then gets atop him and starts wailing away, momentarily forgetting about Vitamin X, who slides into the ring and starts putting the boots to Zack Malibu! COLE They're mugging the World Champion! VX drags Zack to his feet, but neither man allows him the room to get up, instead pounding on him with clubbing blows across the back. Vitamin X then sends Zack into the corner, and has Boricua whip him into him, nailing Zack wtih a corner clothesline before tossing him out of the corner, into the waiting arms of Mr. Boricua, who drills the World Champion with a SPINEBUSTER~! COLE It's a 2 on 1! We need some help out he...wait, what's going on in the back? Can we get a camera back there!? What's going on!? As Malibu is being worked over in the ring, a camera shakes, as the cameraman jogs through the backstage maze of hallways, where Tha Puerto Rican has just been hurled over the catering table, taking both table and food down with him! The camera pans over, and the man responsible is TODD CORTEZ, who moves the table aside and drags PRL up, running him headfirst into a wall! COLE What the hell...we've got two members of the crew out here, Tha Puerto Rican has been jumped by Todd Cortez backstage, and...now wait, c'mon now! The crowd boos loudly as the South Central Millitia, weilding steel pipes, hit the ring! Vincent and Marcellus roll into the ring, and the Crew members welcome them, asking if they want a shot at Malibu as well. Unfortunately for VX and Boricua, the only shot the SCM takes is on them, as Vincent nails VX in the ribs with one pipe, while Marcellus does the same to Boricua, and follows up with a shot across the back! COACH What's going on here, Mikey!? Am I seeing this right!? The crowd, as shocked as everyone else, roars, as the South Central Millitia, just one week seperated from doing battle with Zack Malibu, have saved him from the Lightning Crew! Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua lay on the floor aching and bruised, while Vincent and Marcellus slowly help Zack Malibu to his feet! COLE I'll be damned, I never thought I'd see the day that the SCM and Zack Malibu were on the same page! Malibu is shocked too, but Marcellus helps him up, assuring him he's going to be OK...but that's BEFORE he slams the steel pipe across Malibu's ribs! COLE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE TONIGHT!? IMMEDIATELY, the crowd picks up on the swerve, and start booing loudly, as the SCM beat Zack down, gangland style! Zack tries to fight up, but every time he does he's sent back to the canvas, worked over by hard shots from the gangbangers, and that's when Landon Maddix appears on the scene, jogging down the aisle! COACH Maddix! COLE C'mon people, get Zack out of there! Santana and Wallace pull Malibu up, holding him securely with one arm each, as Maddix picks up the mic Zack dropped during the attack. MADDIX Hey, Malibu, guess what? You beat me four days ago, and that's all well and good...but you remember one thing, you took that title match Sunday because of your own damn selfish pride. You wanted to prove so badly that you were going to take this World Title belt of yours (Landon picks up the belt and dangles it in front of Zack's face) that you took my challenge on the spot. Let me spell that out to you again Zack... you accepted my challenge. Zack, that was the biggest mistake of your life, because just like you, I know it's always wise to have a backup plan. So Zack, I'm gonna give you a chance to kiss this belt goodbye, because I am cashing in my Money In The Bank win RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Oh snap! COLE So THAT'S what this is all about! Landon's trying to set up a cakewalk for the belt! MADDIX REFEREE! ANY referee, we've got what, like 40 of you on the roster? Get your ass out here, because I'm going to END you, Zack! Leave him to me, boys! Santana and Wallace drop Zack to the mat, as Maddix looms over him, playfully kicking him while holding the World Title in his hand. MADDIX Get up, Malibu! Get up, and say goodbye to your precious championship! Zack slowly pushes up, rising to his feet, as Landon throws the mix down and folds the belt up. He cocks it in his hands, and Malibu stands tall as Landon rushes forward with a BELTSH...NO~! ZACK DUCKS IT AND ROLLS HIM UP WITH A SCHOOLBOY, JUST AS EARL HEBNER HAS HIT THE RING~! ONE! T-NO! Popping right back to his feet, Landon unloads with stomps. A flurry of them, pinpointed to the ribs of The Franchise! COLE Look at Maddix, like a man possessed! COACH This is a shocker! I think we all assumed Landon has used his Money In The Bank at The Bash, but it turns out he had it in reserve the whole time. He played Zack like a fiddle! Finally the stomps end and Landon wipes the hair from his eyes. Eyes that are wide, Landon aware of just how close he is. Dragging Zack off of the canvas, Maddix grabs him by the wrist, dragging him forward into a short knee. The air rushes out of Zack's body with a loud, pained groan, as Maddix connects with a second knee. Releasing the arm, a HARD kick then floors Zack, the World Champion sitting up with blood beginning to dribble down his chin. COLE Zack, bleeding from the mouth again! Those internal injuries have had no time to heal what-so-ever and yet again, he's in serious, serious trouble. COACH And Zack can't blame anybody but himself. COLE How!? COACH He wanted to be the 'fighting champion'. He wanted to be the hero. Say what you want about Drek Stone, I don't remember this happening to him. "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" The Indianapolis crowd try to get behind Zack. Even their support doesn't seem to be helping though as Maddix drags him up by the hair, whipping him into the buckles and watching with a satisfied smile as Malibu crumbles out of the corner. COLE Zack came in injured tonight, he has been beaten down by four other men and now, now THIS! And look at that grin on Landon's face! This is sickening! Slowly walking over to Zack, Landon takes his sweet time. Again he drags Zack up by the hair, delivering another hard kick to the ribs. And in a final insult he then slides to Zack's side, struggling as he takes him up with the ANGLE SLAM~! Not the finest execution, but who cares? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Damnit! COACH I think that's what they call 'poetic'. Megan raises her arms in the air, counting along in glee with Landon as he covers... ONE! TWO! THRE... NO, ZACK KICKS OUT! ZACK KICKS OUT~! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE YES! COME ON ZACK, FIGHT, FIGHT WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT! "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Utterly shocked, Landon begins to get that sinking feeling. Zack is still in the fight, however barely. But before Zack can get back up, he takes a punch to the ribs. Again. Again. And again and again and again and again, with no end in sight, Maddix trying to turn Zack's internal organs into mincemeat! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Eventually Zack seems to go limp, and Landon is the one keeping him from falling, as he holds him by the collar of his shirt. Leading Zack away from the ropes, Landon hoists Zack up onto his shoulders, looking to deal the death blow. However, before Zack can Go 2 Sleep, he decides he wants to stay up a little while longer, and kicks himself off Landon's shoulders! Thinking quickly, Zack goes for the ANGLE SLAM~!, but can't lift Landon, dropping him to his feet! Favoring the ribs, Malibu keels over and winds up scooped up again, onto Landon's shoulders, before La Cucaracha decides to put him to bed. GO 2 SLEEP ON ZACK MALIBU~! COLE No, COME ON! This is robbery! This was a premeditated assault! Malibu, with blood dripping down his chin, is lifeless, as Landon Maddix makes a rather arrogant cover. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE NO! I don't believe it...this can't be happening! COACH It is, Mikey Cole, it most certainly is! We have a NEW World Heavyweight Champion, and it happened right here on live television! As "Personal Jesus" is cued up, Landon Maddix is given the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, and he clutches it to his chest. Megan Skye rolls into the ring and rubs her mans shoulders as he stares into the gold center plate, then rises to his feet and unleashes a primal scream as he raises the belt in the air. COLE I...I'm in shock. I don't believe what we've just seen. The Millitia enter the ring as well, as Landon shakes both their hands and thanks them, before they take Landon and lift him onto their shoulders like a conquering hero! COLE This is disgusting! COACH This is history, baby! The crowd boos loudly, some even risking evicition from the arena by tossing everything from beer cups to nacho dishes into the ring. OAOAST come to ringside and tend to Zack, gently sliding him out of the ring and onto a stretcher so that they can get him backstage and checked out by medical personnel. COLE Zack Malibu has been brutalized here tonight, and Landon Maddix swept in like a thief in the night, stealing the item that means most to him. Landon Maddix is the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, and I guarantee you one thing folks...things are going to change around here, and not for the better! [/QUOTE]

Some people are reading way too much into Rourke's 'backing away'. He's the face non-wrestler being goaded into wrestling the heel, they're not going to have him come out the very first day after being called out and say "oh yeah I'ma kick his BUTT!" Rourke has to show reluctance at first for the storyline to work.

My favourite Stunner sell is Sgt. Slaughter, back when it was sold as a jarring move instead of a knockout move. As time went on people generally sold it by going backwards, where-as going forwards like Slaughter (and possibly Lawler) always made it look move jarring and devestating. Slaughter especially, because he didn't go to his knees.

That would be last year. Sweeney and OMG in a strut-off is must see, ain't no doubt about it. I'm pretty sure they covered the match on the weekly Podcast, but whether the strut-off made it or not I'm not so sure. Don't think so.

No offence, but if this is your counter arguement to "it's stupid"... I think general consensus is that Zeus coming in from a movie was stupid and that he stunk in the ring, so I think it's more of an arguement for the 'con' side to adopt.

If they had Rourke come out as The Ram to wrestle somebody like Santino and do it tongue in cheek, it'd probably be fun and something the vast majority of people wouldn't have a problem with. They wouldn't have to worry about paradoxes, since Santino's already called out Santa Claus and the universe is still intact. It'd fill the diva cooldown spot on the card, still get Rourke involved, still plug The Wrestler, still mooch off of The Wrestler. But come on... they're having the Wrestler Of The Year, the guy THEY chose as wrestler of the year, calling out some guy who played a wrestler in a movie. Nevermind a paradox, it's fucking silly.

Edit to add Lince, Helios and Jimm... uh, Equinox. Plus, the interesting addition of The Death Match Kings, Necro Butcher, Toby Klien and Brian Damage.

Aside from being named after the blandest, most dumb motherfuckingest looking person on the roster, I have no problem with him. Somebody had to take a stand. The constant "I KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT, WWE IS SO PREDICTABLE" stuff in the Raw thread is out of control. And even when the exact opposite then happens and they're all forced to go "OH WOW, DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING, WOO KOFI!", it doesn't stop. In other news, we can all breathe easily and pack the razor blades away, Kizarny has been sighted in the Smackdown Kizarny Spoilers Thread.

I don't know if Turbo Lion let anyone else know, but if not he said he'd been held up since he's having to stay with friends.

Whizere Iizs Kizarny?

*obligatory "I'd hit it" post*

I'm surprised I'm the only one with Khali.

I don't know about this arguement really. Maybe The Wrestler will get a little extra publicity from WWE, maybe people who liked the movie will shell out for WM just to see Rourke. But everybody who has seen the movie, even the non-wrestling fans, already know that WWE exists. So I'd imagine the vast majority of people who'd get turned back onto wrestling by the movie would have done so with or without Rourke at WM. Except Mayweather being a legit world class athlete and Rourke being an aging actor you mean? I've got no real desire to see Jericho vs. Rourke at all, for various reasons. But I can see why it's being done with the recent success of celebrity angles in Trump and Mayweather. Plus the promos might work out to be entertaining. Just very little interest in seeing the actual match and plenty of trepidation about how they're going to tread the line between real and fake, not to mention Rourke and The Ram. I know this was the talk last year and it never came to fruition, but it might be worth making it a tag match of some kind. Rourke and a wrestler past or present who decides to stand up for him versus Jericho and somebody who's not doing anything else and could use the rub. If Jericho, the guy they've pegged as the 2008 WOTY, is struggling to beat an actor one on one whether said actor played a wrestler, a milkman or whatever, it's not going to be good.

I think the Dreamer retirement angle was better when he did it ten years ago.

We'll get him later. You know, I don't usually mind Shane as much as the majority do. But there's really no reason he should have been involved the way he now is. Not just because he's a McMahon, or because he's not a full-time wrestler, but because they should be building Orton/Cena already. Now with Cena defending the title at NWO and Orton in with the McMahons, they're going to have a month of TV to build up the Mania main-event, even though it's offically announced two months plus beforehand. Which isn't enough.

WWE Writer #1: You want me to pair Orton up with Stephanie? I mean... nobody will know what's going on. WWE Writer #2: They will if you set up that the dog Stephanie is evil. All you do is have to show her doing this. *shifty eyes* The people will suspect the dog Stephanie.