King Cucaracha

Are you counting the ECW Title?

Oh man. I used to be under 12 stone and I was still easily the laziest and most shiftless person on the pitch, so it's not like I was working hard. Then I got a knee injury (well, more of a condition than an injury, but w/e) and had to stop playing altogether. Downhill since then. Anyway, it seems I've been yo-yoing a bit, I was up four but now I'm back down again.

Anyone else catch TBP in full heel mode on Soccer AM promoting the tour? Nice to see kayfabe alive and well.

61:30

Or Christian can be behind the attacks, but Edge didn't know about it and is all pissed, leading to Edge vs. Christian vs. Matt vs. Jeff. And to keep everybody happy and before everybody chimes in like the Wrestlemania thread, it'll be a 60 minute Ironman TLC Match because heaven forbid they move on with their careers instead of being stuck with what got them over in 2000.

I make it 25 assuming Taker didn't bleed.

COLE It's now time for one of our feature match-ups here at AnglePalooza 2009, the battle for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. Champion Leon Rodez defends against the red-hot number one contender, Mister Dick, a match intensified by a war of words in the past couple of weeks. As you'd expect, both of these outspoken superstars have had plenty to say in the run-up. But whatever you think of what's been said, one thing that can't be denied is the impressive run Mister Dick has been on in the past few months. A run which could be topped off with not just the biggest win of his career tonight, but he hopes the two biggest wins of his career in the space of a week. First though, he's going to have to get through the World Champion, who hasn't shirked a challenge and has no problems getting in the ring with the OAOAST's hot streak player. Leon is looking for the same as his challenger, to pick up these victories and prove himself as a World Champion. Coach, your thoughts on this one and let's keep the innuendo to a minimum, okay? COACH Fine. There'll be plenty of time for dick jokes during the match. COLE I was afraid you'd say that. COACH What isn't a joke though is Mister Dick's checklist. You call it a hot streak, I call it a dominant streak. First off, he joined The Deadly Alliance and you don't do that without something special. Then, he took out the former World Champ, Tha Puerto Rican. Put him on the shlef. He put Shayne Brave out of action. He's tormented Krista for months, not like the rest of the OAOAST who are left quivering wrecks within a few weeks, he's took it right to her, no fear. Couple of weeks ago, he pinned Baron Windels 1, 2, 3. Then Thursday night, how else can you describe the performance against Los Diablos but dominant? Face it, Leon's in trouble. COLE If Leon's got anything to worry about, he's not letting it so far. Let's not forget the run of BAD luck Leon had to overcome in order to fulfill his dream of becoming the World Champion. He's fought so hard to turn things around, you can bet he won't be giving it up without a fight. The cameras pan across the sold-out Seattle crowd in this time, bringing each section to their feet at the chance of getting their faces on TV and DVD. Yeah, we see ya, sit down already. COLE World Title at stake, part of our triple main-event. Let's go up to Michael Buffer for the introductions. *DINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall... and it is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! [IMG][/IMG] [COLOR=red]I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls! When I come crashing down and its throbbing deep inside I’ll leave you wetter than a flood tide I gotta bend you over that’s how I like to ride! I date a girl who whips my hide And my 12 inches is my greatest pride I am a Real American Dick! Exploding on the face of every woman! I am Real American Dick! Suck on my balls, till I cum like Niagara falls![/COLOR] Mister Dick's loving ode to himself fades into "Womanizer" by Britney Spears, her loving ode to the I'm sure many men who've hurt her in her life. Not appreciating the irony of coming out to a song expressing disgust for men like him, Mr. Dick stands beneath a golden shower of pyro. Mr. Dick rubs his well-toned upper body amongst the sparks before emerging into a shower of boos. Now that the sparks are behind him, Mr. Dick is no longer a fire hazard and douses himself in baby oil. Far too much baby oil! BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger! He hails from San Antonio, Texas and weighs in tonight at two hundred, thirty eight ROCK HARD pounds! Representing The Deadly Alliance. One of the most controversial superstars that the OAOAST has ever seen, tonight he looks to establish himself a an entity unto himself by winning his first singles championship. Ladies and gentlemen, he is "THE HUMAN HARD ON"... MMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSTTEEEEERRRRRRRR... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Wearing a special pair of metallic gold short shorts for the special occasion Mr. Dick slithers into the ring. Smirking to himself, he breaks the new shorts in, rubbing himself against the ring canvas before humping into life. COLE Not neccessarily a popular choice for number one contender, but a choice made on merit by OAOAST President Josie Baker. COACH Mister Dick deserves every bit of this number one contendership and if you ask me, the World Title's just the natural progression. Tonight the belt, then Krista, after that immortality. From The Real American Dick to the Immortal Dick. Mr. Dick climbs the turnbuckles and 'treats' the crowd to a better look. As he hops down, referee Mike Chioda attempts to check him over for weapons. Mr. Dick proves why he's called Mr. Dick by making life unneccessarily difficuly for him, rubbing some baby oil off his chest and into Chioda's face, then making some rather unsavoury pelvic movements when he goes to check the boots. Chioda tells Mr. Dick in no uncertain terms to 'cut it out'. COLE Referee Mike Chioda well aware of Mister Dick's track record. He was the official in charge of the match with Baron Windels two weeks ago who missed Mister Dick's match turning lowblow. I spoke to Mike earlier and he's watched that match back and tonight, he's vowing to be EXTRA vigilant where Mister Dick is concerned. COACH That sounds like bias to me. COLE If Mister Dick plays by the rules like he should, there'll be no problem, will there? Watching the entrance way, Mr. Dick continues to 'lather up' with the baby oil. COLE Wait until you hear this ovation. .:CUE: "Rock The Casbah", Trust Company:. "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" A predictably loud reaction greets the arrival of the World Champion, Leon Rodez sweeping out through the entrance way. Leon pops open the lavish robe to reveal the World Title around his waist and points a finger to the skies. BUFFER And introducing his opponent! Coming to the ring, hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan! Weighing in tonight at two hundred, eighteen and three quarter pounds. He represents The In Crowd! Since winning the belt in late November, this superstar has vowed to be a fighting champion and take on all comers, in a bid to solidify himself as not only one of the most charismatic and entertaining, but also one of the very best wrestlers in the OAOAST... he is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOORRRRLLLLDD... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" The smiling Rodez glides his way down the aisle, tagging hands with the Seattle crowd. He stops at the end of the aisleway for a second, staring up at Mr. Dick who leans over the ropes mouthing off at him. Leon brushes it all around, surrounding himself instead with the cheers of the crowd as he goes to the corner of the barricade and kneels on it to get a better view. COLE Leon Rodez is rapidly beginning to find out what it's like to be a wanted man. And not by female admirers. All eyes are on the World Champion, all focus on that belt with AngleMania VIII fast approaching. Leon disrobes before entering the ring, well aware of the chances of being jumped by his opponent. He jumps up onto the ring apron and blows a kiss to the crowd. Coiled and ready, Mr. Dick watches as Leon enters the ring, but doesn't make a move with the World Champion watching him closely. Giving Mr. Dick something to watch closely Leon removes the title belt and raises it over his head. COLE The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH Yeah. Make the most of it. Handing over the World Title, Leon pats the centre plate for good luck. Chioda shows the belt to the challenger, who tries to get good luck by rubbing it against his more intimate areas, but Chioda manages to avoid that happening and holds the belt up for the crowd. COLE And now, all the side issues must become non issues. Krista's LA title shot, the Lethal Rumble outcome, all must be forgotten and all focus must be on the here and now and the number one contender Mister Dick. *DINGDINGDING!* Both men are ready and with the belt out, the match is underway. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Coming out of their corners Leon and Mr. Dick square up, with Mr. Dick's mouth running a mile a minute as usual. What he's saying we can't hear, but the grabbing of his crotch is a pretty self explanatory threat before he lands with a right hand. And Leon quickly retaliates as the two men get into an exchange of punches! COLE We're not wasting any time here! Back and forth, champion and challenger go, before Leon tries to gain some control with a side headlock. Mr. Dick quickly throws him off into the ropes and sets himself to knock Leon down on the rebound with a firm shoulder tackle. Quickly getting back up Leon is undaunted and comes off the ropes again, but hits the mat again from another shoulder tackle. Mr. Dick dares Leon to try again and the World Champ does. As Mr. Dick tenses up Leon pulls out of the contact this time and instead goes behind with a surprise waistlock. An attempted takedown fails though and Mr. Dick turns in, backdropping Rodez. COLE Mister Dick using his power and using it to good effect. Leon backs into a corner and with a look of digust, he wipes his arms and hands against the turnbuckle pads. COLE Of course, it helps if your opponent can't get a grip on you to lift you because you're covered in baby oil. COACH You've gotta be strong and brave to get a good grip on Dickzilla. Go with both hands. COLE And we are back. Tentatively sizing his opponent up, Leon's thoughts of a lock-up are put aside with Mr. Dick rubbing his oily torso with a perverse smile. COLE This man could be our World Champion you know. Think about that for a second. Forced to take an alternative attack, Leon sneaks behind Mr. Dick and dropkicks him in the back. Falling into the ropes, Mr. Dick stumbles back into a second dropkick and winds up hung across the middle rope! Leon does the jig, but as soon as he comes off the ropes, Mister Dick is out of the ring calling for a timeout. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The anti-social number one contender gets into it with the crowd. Which distracts him as Leon comes off the apron with an axehandle to the back of the neck, sending Dickzilla spilling forward into the barricade. Leon stays on MD with a couple of right hands, before suddenly getting an idea. He drags Mr. Dick by the head (on his shoulders) around ringside, putting his face into the announce table. COACH Hey... hey, get out of here! Despite Coach's protests, Leon uses Coach for assistance, grabbing hold of him by the shirt... and with Mr. Dick in a headlock, uses the hapless announcer's top to rub the baby oil off of Mr. Dick's torso! COACH (off mic) GET HIM OFF OF ME! COLE I'll be right over partner! Once Mr. Dick has been de-oiled, Leon drags him back to the ring and sends him into the ring apron. Back inside, Mr. Dick without proper lubrication is like Samson without hair and is forced to BEG OFF from the World Champion! Nothing doing, as Leon delivers a dropkick with MD on his knees and makes a cover... 1... 2... No! Rodez follows Mr. Dick into a corner, delivering a right hand... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Another chop connects. Not liking this, Mr. Dick shoves Leon away and loads up a Texas sized right hand. Ducking underneath Leon catches Mr. Dick in another waistlock and this time EXECUTES the takedown, to a completely unwarranted pop. Mr. Dick squirms around on the mat trying to escape Leon's clutches but with his lack of oil he's unable to get free and can only drag his way to the ropes with Rodez still riding him. COACH Dude, Leon just wiped Mr. Dick off on my shirt. COLE Don't know why you're complaining. You could probably get a bundle for it on eBay after the show. COACH Hey, homo, I know what name you use on eBay, don't even try it with me. COLE We'll talk in private. Mister Dick rants at the referee about his lack of slipperyness and Leon capitalises with a boot... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another knifedge chop. Irish whip sends Mr. Dick to the ropes and Leon goes for a hiptoss, but can't get MD over. Blocking a second time, The Human Hard On swings and misses with a clothesline, getting caught in a backslide... 1... 2... No! Mr. Dick is up quickly, only to get caught in another waistlock. Again unable to slide out Mister Dick is beside himself and calls the referee over to complain some more. It's just coincidence surely that this pulls the referee out of position. With Chioda in front of him Mister Dick gripes, but is clearly thinking. And when the time is right, he throws his leg back... ...and it gets caught. MR. DICK :O "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Uh-oh, Leon had that idea well scouted and Mr. Dick just got caught red handed! With Mr. Dick's foot in his hands Leon looks to the referee with a shrug. Chioda chastises Mr. Dick for the attempted lowblow and threatens to throw the match out, which causes Dickzilla to apologise profusely, near begging. This allows Rodez to let Mr. Dick go and connect with another dropkick to the back, sending him sprawling forward. With Mr. Dick on the middle rope, Leon does THE JIG~! again, to a roar of approval from the Seattle crowd. And so, they get an EXTENDED jig! Leon then hits the ropes, shooting back... ...into a STIFF KI... ...NO! Leon ducks underneath and rolls Mr. Dick up... 1... 2... No! COLE Mister Dick is struggling to get anything going so far. Could Mister Dick be having trouble rising to the occasion? COACH Yeah, leave the puns to me. With Leon hounding him locking to apply a hold, Mister Dick again leaves the ring and throws his arms up in disgust. Leon is told not to follow by the referee and he's happy to play to the crowd instead. COLE This is what Leon is capable of doing, taking opponents off their game. Something which Mr. Dick usually does with his antics, but not tonight. "JOCK ITCH!" "JOCK ITCH!" "JOCK ITCH!" "JOCK ITCH!" Hearing the chants, Leon smirks and makes the money sign with his fingers as he smells potential royalties from his coined phrase. COLE And this crowd is, dare I say it, riding Mister Dick right now. COACH Well, I thi... MR. DICK (slamming his hands into the table) HEY! YOU MAKE THESE DICKLESS WONDERS QUIT WITH THAT CRAP NOW, YA HEAR ME!? COLE What do you expect us to do about it!? We'll never know, as before Mister Dick can respond Leon leaves the ring and spins him around into a right hand! Thrown back inside, Mr. Dick is finally able to work an opening though, catching Leon on the way in with a boot! Mr. Dick stomps away on the World Champion before turning his frustrations to the crowd and invites them all to kiss his ass, extending the invitation to referee Mike Chioda now he's not on the verge of being disqualified. Mr. Dick then goes back to Leon, hanging him across the middle rope and choking him across it. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Mr. Dick steps off the ropes and gives Leon an insulting pieface. That sparks Leon into firing out with his boot, but Mr. Dick is able to avoid it and places the flat of his boot on the throat to choke him again. COACH As I was saying earlier, I think if Leon plays with fire, he's going to get burned. And if he plays with Mister Dick, he might just ge... COLE Make your point! [i]Without[/i] the innuendo please! COACH If he makes Mister Dick mad, he might just pay for it. COLE Thank you! Pulling Leon off the ropes Mister Dick drags him into the centre of the ring, scoop and a slam. Off the ropes a kneedrop follows... 1... 2... No! Mr. Dick mounts Leon and after a tense, awkward and scary moment, he thankfully opts for the mount punches. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" With the crowd getting behind their Champion, Mister Dick takes another moment to insult them all before whipping Leon to the ropes. Another slam attempt is countered as Leon floats over the back, running Mr. Dick into the ropes with a roll-up... 1... 2... Mr. Dick kicks out. Sent towards the ropes by the momentum, Leon shows great agility to hurdle himself over the top and land safely on the apron with time to recover and pop Mr. Dick in the face with a forearm. Rodez runs down the apron and up to the top turnbuckle, looking to come off the third floor. Mister Dick runs to try and cut him off at the knees but Leon leaps off the top and over him just in time! The relief is short-lived though, as when Leon turns around Mr. Dick runs out of the corner with a STIFF KICK to the face!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Nothing hits harder than a Stiff Mister Dick! Cover by the challenger... 1... 2... NO! Sitting up trying to shake off the effects, Leon is rammed with a knee in the back and pulled right back up. Mister Dick senses a momentum change and after short clothesline tries another pin... 1... 2... No! Unhappy, Mr. Dick gets on the ref's case. COLE More intimidation by this overbearing individual. But Mister Dick should be worrying about staying on the World Champion, not making himself feel big by scaring a referee. COACH For once you're right. Gotta stay focused Dickie! Mister Dick's lack of focus is punished, Rodez punching him in the midsection as he goes back on the offence. Fortunately for Mr. Dick, his midsection is firm and his boot is firmer, slamming it into Leon's face. With the Champion down, MD prepares to just be a dick, spreading Leon's legs and preparing to lower the boom. But Chioda is right on him and threatens a DQ if he does so. COLE There we go, show him who's boss Mike! COACH What right does a referee have to stand up to a competitor in the middle of a match like this!? COLE Uhm... the fact that he's the referee? Not wanting to risk that Mister Dick backs off and instead pulls Leon to his feet, "nice and friendly like". Not so friendly, the right hand that follows. Leon staggers back into a corner and Mr. Dick stomps a mudhole and starts walking it dry. Referee Chioda interjects himself again and Mr. Dick breaks on four. Once that warning's over, Mr. Dick places his foot on Leon's throat again. "ONE!" "TWO!" While Chioda is counting, MD takes the opportunity to start untying the top turnbuckle pad! COLE Is there anything Mr. Dick won't stoop to? COACH You? Mr. Dick backs away and ends the choking. As he drags Leon from the corner Chioda starts to re-adjust the turnbuckle pad... ...allowing Mr. Dick to drop the headbutt into the Silky Smooth nether regions of the World Champion!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Ugh, Mr. Dick, Just Being A Dick and manipulating the referee expertly. Concealing the pain his opponent is in with a tight pin cover Mister Dick yells at Chioda to turn around and count... 1... 2... NO! Mr. Dick applies a rear chinlock, muffling Leon's attempts to explain what happened to the ref. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Drawing on the support of the crowd, Leon starts to fight back to his feet. And after working out some of the discomfort lower down his body, he delivers an elbow to the ribs on the challenger. A second elbow catches Mr. Dick hard enough to loosen his grip. And a third breaks him free. Quickly off the ropes, Leon then knocks him down with a clothesline! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Back comes the World Champion! Off the ropes again Leon connects with a second clothesline, bouncing Mr. Dick off the mat again. COACH He must have been wearing a cup. Come on, check him referee! Leon delivers a third straight clothesline and is ALL FIRED UP, doing the same for the Seattle crowd. Getting back to his feet Mr. Dick throws a right hand. A timely weave by Leon pulls him out of the way, connecting with the Rolling Sole BUTT to knock the wind out of Mr. Dick's sails. Rodez grabs a 3/4 headlock and points to a corner. As he runs The Human Hard On in though, a shove in the back blocks the shiranui. Leon just about gets his foot up to block himself in the turnbuckles. Mr. Dick sees a chance and charges, right into a drop toehold, putting him face-first into the middle turnbuckle! COACH Ooh! COLE Great counter move! With Mr. Dick stunned momentarily, Leon is able to hook him up and slice the bread this time! COLE Feedback THIS! 1... 2... NO! Using the ropes to pull himself back up Mr. Dick is reeling and falls into the corner in a daze. From across the ring Leon lines him up and charges in, going high with the double knees... ...but Mr. Dick steps out, catching Leon and dropping him face-first into the top turnbuckle!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE OH, Leon got caught and DUMPED, face first! He could be out! COACH Cover, cover! Mister Dick drags Rodez away from the ropes and hooks a leg... 1... 2... NO! This time Mister Dick is incensed and risks DQ once again as he gets in Chioda's face. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" COLE A kickout, but the World Champion looks groggy and that could have been the turning point in this Championship match. COACH I believe it is. Mister Dick's just got to finish up... I mean finish off... COLE We know what you meant. After realising he's wasting his time with the referee Mr. Dick goes back over, stomping on Leon. He picks the World Champion up before he can climb up, delivering a hard right hand against the ropes. And gets another warning. Not listening, Mr. Dick shoos the ref out of the way and whips Leon to the ropes. A clothesline is ducked, but as Leon comes back he gets caught with a big boot to the face. Rodez hits the mat and with a grin on his face, Mr. Dick DICK-CUPS to one side of the crowd! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COACH Oh yeah! What better was to finish him off than this!? Mr. Dick cups his pride and joy to all four sides of the crowd trying to figure out who wants it most. The answer would be nobody. But Mr. Dick ends up picking a side eventually and very slowly hits the ropes, BEFORE DROPPING THE BIG LEG!!! COACH THAT'S IT! COLE The Legdrop from The Real American Dick, don't tell me this is it! COACH I JUST DID! 1... 2... KICKOUTOMGWTF!?!?! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Mr. Dick can't believe it... and CERTAINLY can't believe it when Leon starts to shake back to life. MR. DICK You gotta be shittin' me! With Leon on one knee Mr. Dick clubs him in the back... NO EFFECT!! COLE Oh my god... the World Champion is... he's... uhm, Rodezing Up? Does that work? I dunno, who cares!? Mr. Dick clubs Leon in the back again... NO EFFECT! Actually, tell a lie, it does has some effect as Leon stops in his tracks for a second and cringes in pain, but very quickly shakes it off and points the finger at the shocked Cocky Prick! [b]YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~![/b] COACH Don't punch him! Whatever you do, don't try and punch him! Either stubborn or stupid, Mr. Dick goes for a punch and it gets blocked. COACH Ah damnit! Having blocked the punch, Leon fires back with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Mister Dick in the back of the head with the enziguri! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Not quite a legdrop, but maybe good enough as Leon makes the cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Not letting disappointment get the better of him, Leon encourages Mister Dick to his feet. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A second! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third. Mr. Dick is hurting, but still manages to reverse an irish whip and send Leon into the turnbuckles instead of him. He then follows up and dives in, connecting with BITE MY GIANT DICK!! COACH Yeah, how does that taste!? Hitting the crossbody clearly relaxes Mr. Dick and he happily slaps Leon around a bit, before jogging towards the opposite corner signalling for a second one. Little does he realise that Leon is jogging a couple of steps behind him. And as he backs up in the corner, Mr. Dick is shocked to get sandwiched against the turnbuckles with a DOUBLE KNEE attack!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Where the hell did that come from!? COLE I think Mister Dick is wondering the same thing! Leon pulls Mr. Dick into a front facelock and hits a vertical suplex, setting him in perfect position to head up top! The Seattle crowd rise to their feet as Leon leaves the ring, giving the universal twirling fingers sign for the 450! COLE The World Heavyweight Champion is heading to the top, maybe seconds away from staying at the very top of the OAOAST ladder! Getting his footing up top Rodez draws the crowd behind him, before tumbling... ...and bailing out as Mr. Dick rolls out of the way!! Leon is BARELY able to land on his feet after just 360 degrees and while he's still unsteady, Mr. Dick reaches out and shoves him forwards into the path of referee Mike Chioda... ...and a NEAR collision, Leon able to stop himself just in time... ...BUT CHIODA ISN'T SO LUCKY TONIGHT, AS MISTER DICK TAKES HIS HEAD OFF WITH A STRAY STIFF KICK!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE OH! Referee Mike Chioda goes down and I think that was unintentional... but then again, who knows!? COACH What do you mean 'think', why would Mister Dick kick the referee in the face? After a moment of shock Mr. Dick is spun around by Leon and given a boot to the stomach. The World Champion begins to set him up for a Tiger Driver. But Mr. Dick drops to his knees AND DELIVERS A LOWBLOW!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE THAT'S why, right there! Just like with Baron, no referee in sight! As Leon crumples in a heap, Mister Dick makes the cover, forgetting for a second with the title within his graps that there's no-one to count. COLE Only difference this time is Chioda isn't just unsighted, he's unconscious! And thank goodness, it doesn't look like Mister Dick is going to get away with it this time after all! Still covering the Champ Mr. Dick reaches over and grabs Chioda's hand, dropping it and realising he's out. A couple of slaps to the back of the head fail to revive him so Mr. Dick crawls over and tries to SHAKE Chioda into waking up. Which unsurprisingly doesn't work, leaving The Human Hard On cursing the referee. Nevermind that he's the one that knocked him out, Mr. Dick is furious with the ref and shows what he thinks by kicking him out of the ring! Mr. Dick then waves to the back for another referee. COLE Hey come on, what the hell was that for!? COACH Well he's no use in the ring if he's knocked out, he's just in the way. COLE Give me a break. Mr. Dick looks around and with no referees in a rush to help out he curses again. By now Leon is beginning to recover and seeing this, The Human Hard On leaves the ring and heads for the timekeeper's table yelling at everyone to get out of the way. He snatches a discarded chair and slides back in, lining Leon up. COLE Oh no... come on, not like this. NOT LIKE THIS~! COACH Yes, LIKE THIS! Pulling himself up by the ropes, Leon nurses his nether regions as the crowd scream warnings of what's waiting behind him. Mr. Dick can barely contain himself, chair shaking in his hands as he prepares to swing. The screams get louder and louder as Leon struggles to recover. Until a thunderous cheer sounds out around the arena. COLE WAIT A MINUTE! Mr. Dick suddenly has the chair ripped from his hands... *CRACK!* "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...AND GETS BLASTED OVER THE HEAD BY [b]THA PUERTO RICAN!!!!![/b] COLE WHAM! MISTER DICK JUST GOT BEHEADED! PRL drops to his knees and cusses a blue streak at Mister Dick before hurling the steel chair out of the ring in a fit of energy. Still nursing his bicep injury a little, Tha Puerto Rican leaves the ring and collects his expensive sunglasses from the arena floor. PRL then makes an effort to revive the referee, before leaving through the crowd where he came from. "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" Hundreds of hands pat Tha Puerto Rican on the back as he retreats watching the scene in the ring with a satisfied look on his face. Leon is still winded as he pushes himself off the ropes, seeing Mr. Dick knocked stupid and on wobbly legs. COACH No, this isn't right! THIS ISN'T RIGHT AT ALL! Wha... whe... THA PUERTO RICAN~!? COLE Tha Puerto Rican, the man put on the shelf by Mister Dick's rampage, has extracted his own form of revenge here tonight at AnglePalooza! Staggering around, Mr. Dick walks into a boot, then gets taken up with a BRAINBUSTER, putting him in position. Leon crawls through the ropes, dragging himself up on the apron before heading to the top rope. COACH I can't believe you're going to condone this! COLE Mister Dick had it coming, what can I say? Referee Chioda hauls himself back into the ring, just in time, as Leon reaches the top. He steadies himself, before delivering the 450 SPLASH!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE 450, that's gonna do it! Chioda makes it over to count... 1... 2... 3!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* The fans erupt, Leon slowly rolling off of Mr. Dick with not quite so much enthusiasm. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of this contest... and STILL OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOORRRLLLDD... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Leon's hand is raised in victory by the groggy referee, not looking 100% himself as he takes the World Championship belt. Leon raises the belt over his head in victory, but something on his face seems to say he suspects something isn't quite right. COLE Leon Rodez is still the World Champion and moving on, looking ahead and to pull one from your bag of puns, Leon Rodez well and truly beat the Dick! COACH No, PRL did! You know it and I know it, Mr. Dick would be the World Champion right now if Tha Puerto Rican hadn't stuck his nose into this match! COLE And Mr. Dick might not have been on the verge of victory if he hadn't kicked the referee in the face, delivered a lowblow and tried to use a steel chair! Karma is a bitch! Rolling out of the ring Leon hangs the title belt over his shoulder and looks back at his defeated challenger. Unable to shake the feeling that something's up he doesn't make much of his celebration, a simple finger raised in victory before slapping a couple of hands as he backs up the ramp. Mr. Dick begins to stir in the ring holding his head in pain. COACH And to think, all the talk we've had from Leon, all the crap about being an honourable fighting champion. Where's the honour in taking advantage of a man after he's been waffled with a chair? Some World Champion he is! COLE Well the fact is, he IS the World Champion. And he can watch tonight's Lethal Rumble match with greater interest for having gotten this title defence out of the way. Leon continues to leave as Mister Dick drags himself up in the ring. Making himself scarce referee Chioda avoids the full force of Mr. Dick's anger, The Human Hard On kicking the ropes once he fully realises what's happened. Leaving the ring, Mr. Dick picks up the steel chair used on him and points out the indentation his skull made in it, before hurling it at the cameraman who narrowly avoids getting smacked. COLE After all those guarantees of victory, I guess Mister Dick will have to make some alternative plans for the 300th HeldDOWN. COACH Mark my words, you haven't heard the last of Mister Dick! Nobody has! Not Rodez, not Krista and certainly not Tha Puerto Rican!

You said "The Finish or The Victory". If I cared enough I'd link it. I just wanted attention really. Having not seen the show, this talk of Beth making Melina kick herself in the head... I take it they just stole the Cheerleader Melissa/MsChif spot from SHIMMER? EDIT: I don't know about anyone else, but I've already started referring to it officially and concisely as "The Victory" in honour of our friend Michael Cole. I just hope it sticks. It's like a Victory Roll, only more successful.

That's my joke, damnit! Give it back!

You don't agree with my opinion on wrestling, you're all WWE marks, WAH! There, I condensed it for anyone who couldn't be bothered to read it.

1. WWE Women's Title: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix© Glamazon 2. ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger© Swagger 3. World Heavyweight Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena© Cena 4. WWE Title: Jeff Hardy© vs. Edge Edge 5. Royal Rumble Match -Participants as of 10:10pm Eastern Friday 1/23 according to WWE.com: Finlay, Mark Henry, CM Punk, R-Truth, Carlito, The Brian Kendrick, Triple H, The Big Show, Vladimir Kozlov, Shelton Benjamin, The Undertaker, Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, The Miz, John Morrison, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Santino Marella, and Kane Randy Orton All bonus points are based on the Royal Rumble match itself and are as follows: 1. With only 21 names announced, who fills out the final nine spots (1pt for each correct)? Umaga, MVP, Khali, Charlie Haas, Tommy Dreamer, Chavo Guerrero, Boogeyman, RVD, Hacksaw Duggan 2. Who draws number one? HHH 3. Who draws number 30? Chris Jericho 4. Who draws number 27? Big Show 5. Who lasts the longest amount of time? HHH 6. Who makes the most eliminations? HHH

HA! I've been laughing at Striker's occassional shots at The Wrestler. I know they were fed, but even so. Striker worked for 3PW, if anyone on the roster knows about the lives of 'old broken down piece of meat' wrestlers still going way past their heyday it would be him.

I doubt it. The odds are he'll be in for the US debut, probably a third match in the series with Quack over the weekend. After that, I'd imagine he'd only make rare appearances at best, considering his age and the fact it's taken him 60+ years to appear once in the US. There's also some hype videos up on YouTube for the teams announced so far, for anyone unfamiliar with them.

Black Scorpion, Starrcade 90. Shawn Michaels, WMXIX, just for the fact that when the Johnny B.Badd pyro guns didn't go off he improvised and went with it, instead of panicking and looking stupid. Shockmaster.

Might be late with the battle royal. Just a warning. EDIT: Reason being, I just couldn't get it to work, so I've had to change the line-up around a bit. EDIT2: DONE!

[color=blue]OAOAST Productions, Proudly Presents...[/color] [color=purple][size=6]#~~THE LOVE SHACK~~#[/size][/color] [IMG=http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii59/KingCucaracha/loveshack.jpg] It's 2009 and it's back! The Love Shack set (which as you know by now of course is pretty much a desk and various other clutter) has been dusted off, dusted down and stands in the OAOAST ring once more. The main difference is the OAOAST World Title standing out amongst the rest of the junk on Leon's desk. Sat stoney faced on stools position at opposite sides of the ring are Melody Nerdly and Jade Rodez-Duncan, with Women's Title draped across her lap. Both make a point not to look at each other, except for occassional glares out of the corner of their eye to check that the other isn't looking at them. Mediating all this is Leon Rodez, out from in front of his desk and standing in the middle of the ring between the two. LEON Welcome welcome, one and all, to the first ever World Championship Edition of The Love Shack! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" LEON Don't get too excited. It's basically the same thing as before, it's just I've got a belt sitting on the desk now. All the same, please join me in welcoming my guests tonight... Jade Rodez-Duncan and Melody Nerdly! A cheer goes up for both and the girls catch each other giving each other a catty look and turn away from each other. LEON Can you feel the love? *AHEM* LEON Anyway, these two girls are set to compete for the OAOAST Women's Title at AnglePalooza and it should be a fine example of friendly competition. Keyword, should. Tonight, we're here to discuss that match and answer a few questions. Or, so they think. My first question isn't so much a question as it is a confession though. I didn't actually bring you two out here to talk business. This is actually one of those surprise interventions. Like Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin. MELODY Or like Krusty The Clown and Sideshow Bob? LEON ...if you like, sure. Point is, you two need to sort this out. JADE She needs to buy me a new top, beca... LEON I'm sorry, my mistake. You two need to sort this [i]like adults[/i]. Jade scowls at her uncle. LEON I mean really, squabbling in a McDonalds like two teenage girls? Come on. You're the Women's Champion. Supposed to be a role model. And as for you Melody, no offence but you're old enough to know better, no matter what age your Gamer Tag profile claims you to be. Seriously now, what's the big deal here? Anybody? JADE I'll tell you what the big deal is. She's jealous. MELODY Excuse me? JADE You're jealous. We're supposed to be friends but as soon as things start going right for me, you can't handle it and get super hurt about it. When I was poor little Jade struggling to adjust you were right there to play the best friend. But when I won the Women's Title and pinned you at New Year's, suddenly you've got a problem. MELODY Naw naw. That ain't it at all. The fact is all this success has gone to your head and suddenly you act like your stuff don't stink all of a sudden! You're turning into some kinda spoilt little mommy's girl and I'm not good enough for you anymore. Jade looks shocked. MELODY Ever since New Year you've been a major pain. Everytime I chat to you on MSN, it's all "me, me, me". What clothes you bought. What famous people you've met. What magazine wants to talk to you. My fabulous life. You're like those annoying self-centred girls on My Super Sweet 16. Suddenly you're too good to talk about retro cartoons I've been watching. You don't wanna know about any online petitions I've started. And when I sent you that e-mail about that great Dungeons and Dragons game I had over Christmas, you couldn't even be bothered to reply. LEON No offence but that does sound a little boring. MELODY Little princess here didn't seem to think so before. When she needed me But now, I ain't what's hip no more. She's too good for the 'normal people' now Hollywood loves her. Everything's going her way. She's got her title belt, her famous Mom, famous boyfriend, famous friends... JADE That's not true. You've just got a problem because after months of palling around with you, my life's better than yours and you're not centre of attention anymore. LEON (confused) Hang on, famous boyfriend? MELODY Yeah, cause now Mommy's girl wants to be centre of attention all the time. And what Mommy's girl wants... JADE Leave my Mom out of this! MELODY You mean like how she left you? JADE OH THAT IS IT!! Dumping her title belt Jade gets up from her stool and the girls are going at it again, to... an unsympathetic huge cheer from the crowd!! Jade and Melody only manage to get a few tugs at each others hair before Leon prises them apart and seperates the fight just as it's getting going though. LEON Enough, alright! You [i]both[/i] sound like spoilt children. Sheesh! Jade looks a little ashamed about her uncharacteristic outburst and sits back down, sorting her hair. Melody sits down as well folding her arms. Leon looks at the two, before turning to Jade disapprovingly. LEON If I had a dollar for every time I've had to break up one of your fights then... well... I'd have one dollar. What happened to the girl too nice for her own good? Leon turns to Melody, noticing her smirking. LEON And you're hardly Miss Innocent now, are you? Sighing, Leon taps the microphone against his forehead trying to think. LEON You know what, I don't know what's going on here. Maybe you are a little bit jealous Melody, maybe Jade is being a bit of a show-off now that she's not an outcast anymore. No offence. Again. Honestly, I think you're both blowing this all way out of proportion. Hang on... Jade, did you delete Melody from your friends list? JADE Uhm... yeah. MELODY :O JADE Well, Maya did it for me. LEON Okay, you're [i]definately[/i] blowing this all way out of proportion. Seriously, that's harsh. Melody nods in agreement. Jade looks ashamed. Rightly so, Facebook friendship isn't to be fucked with. LEON You know, I could try and convince you two not to wrestle on Sunday like I'd planned. But it's clear you're not going to listen to reason. So you'll probably just go ahead and fight each other anyway. Besides, now I know you deleted her on Facebook, even I want to see you get hurt. Not badly or anything, just a hard slap or something. But, I think deep down you two know this is all really silly. You're both in the wrong. The sooner you two realise that and bury the hatchet, become the great friends that you were again, the better. Because one day, Melody, your computer's going to crash while you're in the middle of a marathon game of Simpsons Hit And Run and you're going to need a shoulder to cry on. And one day Jade, Krista's going to be so drunk that she accidently calls you Jason and believe me you're going to need a shoulder to cry on and someone to call you a therapist. And you both know who's shoulder that should be. And that's my Final Thought. Both girls look a little solemn after that speech. LEON By the way, Jason's what you'd have been called if you were a boy. JADE I figured, yeah. LEON Hopefully that's given you both something to think about. MELODY Yeah, it has. Already halfway out of the ring, Melody turns back and smiles. MELODY Almost makes me regret posting your cellphone number up on OAOAST.com so everybody could contact you. JADE Wha... Like a flash Melody is out of there, leaving Jade stunned. She turns to her uncle as if he's going to do something about it, then checks her cellphone, before leaving in just as much of a hurry to try and sort the mess out. LEON Boy oh boy. Coach! (leans over ropes) Hey buddy, what's happening. Now, tell me, would you say after seeing that that "bitches be trippin'"? COACH Absolutely. LEON ...dude, that's my niece you're talking about. Uncalled for. Watch your mouth pal, I don't care who the President is. Wondering what just happened, Coach looks a little stunned as Michael Cole laughs it up next to him. LEON Alright, that all wrapped itself up nice and quickly. In which case, I'm just going to stand out here until Mister Dick decides to make a run-in on me. Or maybe he wants to come out face to face and talk about our match, then try to sneak attack me. Actually, come to think of it, I'd better shift that desk out of the ring. Because you know somebody's going through it if he... Leon trails off at the sight of Mister Dick... not coming to the ring as planned, but standing by backstage and being seen on the arena's AngleTron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" LEON Well well, there's a surprise. MR. DICK Shut your damn mouth boy! First off, I ain't wastin' my time walkin' out there to be on your crappy little talkshow. You ain't worth a moment of my damn time until you're putting that belt of yours up on the line. So I'm gonna wait until AnglePalooza to kick your ass. Congratulations. Fact is, Mister Dick, he doesn't waste his time with foreplay. None of that Dick teasing. I like to get right in there where it counts. That's all that matters to me. Getting down to the serious business, fast and furious. LEON Yeah, I heard that about you. COACH What does he mean by that!? COLE I think you know. Mister Dick looks a little confused until he realises that was probably a shot at him. MR. DICK You've got a smart mouth Leon. That smart mouth ain't gonna get you nowhere on Sunday though. 2009 is the Year of the Dick. I've been building up to this moment for months and not a man's gonna stop me. Not even you. The great hope of the OAOAST. The young, charismatic, hope-filled, new vision. Sounds familiar, huh? The only difference is, you ain't messin' with no shrivelled up old woman who's husband couldn't be paid all the money in the world to enter her oval office. You're messing with something Hilary hasn't got and that's MANHOOD! So your dream, Leon? It's coming to an end. And when AnglePalooza's in the books, the one lastin' memory of your reign as the OAOAST Champion is gonna be the sight of you being emasculated by The Real American Dick. And they're gonna be able to print your ass up a new t-shirt and it's gonna read YES WE CAN get Dick-slapped!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MR. DICK See, you ain't nothin' special. Not to me. You're gonna end up just like all the rest. Like Shayne Brave. Like Tyler Bryant. Like Krista. Like Baron Windels last week. Like PRL. Mr. Dick has left his mark on all of those pathetic bitches and you're next. I'm gonna plough through you. And then, next week, right here on this here show, I'm gonna plough through Krista harder than your long-lost brother did. Nah, nah. Not good enough. I'm gonna plough through Krista harder than your long-lost brother's bike ploughed into that tree eighteen years ago, how 'bout that! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Wow. COLE Come ON! Keeping his composure, it's clear that cheapest of cheapshot registered and Mister Dick grins to himself. MR. DICK And once I've beaten Krista into submission and made her dyke ass tap out in front of the world on the biggest HeldDOWN~! of all time, there ain't gonna be a bigger star in this business than Mister Dick! The Heavyweight Dick! "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" LEON Heh. First off, loved the presidential bit. Good to have a theme to run with. But I have to ask... are you really that stupid? Mr. Dick gives a WTF look. LEON Are you really saying that you're looking past me to Krista? On national TV. On camera. Last time I checked, I was the OAOAST World Champion. Which, last time I checked, meant that you have to beat me at AnglePalooza, not the other way around. I'll give you something, you're a confident soul. But I suggest right now you get your priorities straight and forget about this obsession you've got going on with Krista. You'd better be worried about me and me alone. As big of a roll as you've been on recently, the fact remains you've got to go through me first. Leave Krista to Malaysia, they're much more compatible anyway, what with her being the butch one of the relationship. MR. DICK What the hell's that supposed to mean!? LEON Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against Malaysia. She is a Nerdly after all. But, come on man, you wear speedo shorts and chaps to the ring. Not seeing the points exactly, Mr. Dick shrugs, seeing no reason why that should be unacceptable. LEON Look, let me just wrap this up by saying one thing. You've proven yourself. You proved yourself against Krista, you proved yourself as a worthy number one contender, you've proven yourself as a part of The Deadly Alliance. I'm not about to take any of that away from you. But you've still got a-ways to go. You haven't proven that you can beat me yet. And you haven't proven that you can win the World Heavyweight Championship yet. Until you do that, it's all hot-air. If you can beat me at AnglePalooza, Krista's all yours. All you've got to do now is actually do it. Good luck. "Rock The Casbah" hits before Mr. Dick has a chance to rebut and he storms off, as Leon waves fond farewells to the crowd. COLE Leon Rodez and Mister Dick, the two studs, collide at AnglePalooza for the World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday night. Can Mister Dick prove himself? Or will Leon's reign go on? Krista Isadora Duncan will be waiting in the wings next week in LA, but neither man can afford to look that far ahead.

We find ourselves in the In Crowd locker room now, following World Champion Leon Rodez as he enters. Sighing Leon sits down on a bench and rubs at his temples. On the other side of the room, Bohemoth puts down the dumbell he was busy working his already impressive bicep with and stands up. BOHEMOTH Problem? LEON Huh? Oh... no, not really. BOHEMOTH Come on, something's obviously up. LEON How long have I been out of this room? Twenty minutes? Thirty? I swear, in the time it took me to find Maggie, get sassed by Maggie and come back I've had at least 12 people helpfully inform me that they're going to win the Rumble and are 'coming for me'. You know, Tyler's even talking about 'what if I win the Rumble, how cool would it be if we wrestled for the title at AngleMania'. I can't even hold a simple conversation without being called out. Leon chuckles to himself. LEON The joys of being World Champion. That's not really what's bothering me though. Just a little stressed today. I've got Mister Dick to worry about at AnglePalooza, I've got Krista on the 300th show if I win that, nevermind the thirty guys in the Rumble hounding me. And what am I doing tonight? Breaking up a fight between my niece and her friend who's got a crush on me. BOHEMOTH Yeah. Listen, now that you mention Jade, I wanted to talk to you. LEON Can it wait? I've got to get ready for The Love Shack. BOHEMOTH Get ready? You take longer to get ready than the damn set does. Chuckling again, Leon produces a pot of hair gel from his bag. LEON Guilty as charged. Okay, seeing as I've got a spare ten minutes while I'm getting ready, go ahead. BOHEMOTH ...you know what, you've got a lot on your mind as it is, it can wait. LEON Okay then. We'll catch up later. Leon takes up position in front of the mirror and Bohemoth decides to leave him to it.

A shrill scream fills the arena as "Makes Me Wonder" greets us back inside the arena. An even shriller scream then greets D*LUX as they make their first appearance for a couple of months. Tyler motions to the crowd as Shayne raises his arms in the air, revealing again the plaster cast on his still injured arm. Any pain he might have been feeling is replaced with adrenaline now and he high-fives Tyler before heading to the ring. BUFFER The following tag team contest is an Anderson Cup First Round match, set for one fall! Introducing team number one, at a total combined wei.... Buffer's introduction trails off at the sight of DETECTIVE BOSLEY and CPA jumping D*LUX in the aisle! The boybanders go flying, Tyler being clipped at the knee while Shayne is struck in the back of the head! COLE Come on! What the hell is this!? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Bosley and CPA put the boots to Tyler and Shayne respectively with the crowd voicing their disapproval, while referee Mike Chioda leaves the ring trying to get some order. The raging Bosley takes a swipe at the ref in his attack before dropping down and choking Tyler with his bare hands. Meanwhile Shayne is sent into the barricade. Grabbing the injured arm, CPA holds it out against the barricade and motions to Bosley. And with a big smile on his face Bosley psychs himself up with some slaps before DELIVERING A RUNNING BOOT TO THE CAST!! COLE Oh no, right to that broken wrist! COACH I guess Tyler was right, Shayne did come back too soon. COLE We'll never know now thanks to this heinous attack by VICE! Curled up against the barricade Shayne screams in pain after the attack to the arm. Tyler tries to get over to help him out but is overwhelmed by the combined force of VICE and together they take him towards the ring. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Well the bell has sounded, but this isn't right, D*LUX weren't even prepared to face VICE in the first place and now Shayne Brave has been incapacitated and it's two on one! COACH Boy, want some cheese with that whine? COLE If I want cheese, you're the guy to turn to for sure. Bosley puts the boots to Tyler in the ring with CPA making the token effort of standing on the apron. A pumped up Bosley lets loose on the crowd for a second, before dropping a big elbow on Tyler and covering... 1... 2... No. Tyler rolls away into a neutral corner, kicking Bosley in the stomach as he moves in. Another kick fends the Detective off. And another. COLE Tyler fighting alone, but fighting with all he's got. Grabbing the rope Tyler turns himself up and over as Bosley charges him this time, running across the ring and nailing CPA with a forearm! As the bigman goes to the floor Tyler turns back to Bosley and runs underneath a clothesline. Coming off the ropes he goes for a crossbody, but Bosley catches him, to a groan from the crowd. BOSLEY I GOT YOU NOW BOY! I GOT YOU NOW! Unfortunately for Bosley, he spoke... well, yelled too soon, as Tyler counters Bosley's attempted throw and hooks him with a DDT reversal!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Could have him! 1... 2... CPA SAVES!! CPA leaves the ring, allowing Bosley to get over to the corner to tag. Tyler doesn't have that luxury and as he gets to his feet, CPA lays him out with a well-placed boot to the jaw. In the aisleway, Shayne continues to lay prone in pain. COACH Medical note- getting kicked in the arm if your arm is broken will not heal the arm. Unlike how concussions can be cured by a blow to the head, as evident in many cartoons. Works best if you use a frying pan. CPA picks Tyler up and shoves him into a corner. The youngster tries to cover up, but CPA's bodyshots rain their way through the defences and soon Tyler is laid against the bottom turnbuckle needing the referee to come to his rescue. As CPA backs away, Bosley sees an opportunity and runs down the apron to kick Tyler in the head, which gets a warning as well. COLE Come on. This isn't a match, it's a mugging. COACH No, pretty sure it's a wrestling match. See that thing with the ropes? Wrestling ring. Pulling Tyler up again, CPA fires off a couple more bodyshots before whipping him across the ring. Tyler hits the opposite turnbuckles as Bosley steps in. An avalanche from CPA crushes Tyler against the turnbuckles, before he's sent out into a back elbow attack from Bosley. As Tyler hits the mat Bosley spins him around and with a slightshot, sends him right back to CPA, who catches Tyler in mid-air with a Front Spinebuster!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, the back of Tyler's head just BOUNCED off the canvas! Referee Chioda tries to put Bosley out and gets yelled at for his trouble, not to mention the covering of spittle, neither of which are too pleasant. Bosley does leave, but immediately becomes the legal man. After mouthing off to the ref again Bosley makes his way over to Tyler. Defenceless, Tyler gets slapped around a little. COLE Now they're just mocking Tyler. There's no need for any of this. COACH They're sending a message Michael. Making an example out of someone to warn the rest of the OAOAST what'll happen if they step out of line. COLE You mean like what they did to Mariachi? COACH Exactly. Bosley further mocks D*LUX by reaching Tyler's hand out in the direction of a tag which isn't going to come with Shayne incapacitated some 20 feet away. When Tyler starts fighting back, Bosley finally puts an end to the games with a knee, elevating Tyler up into a crucifix position and letting him fall into the Long Arms Of The Law with the neckbreaker! BOSLEY YOU WANT HIM!? HUH!? Apparantly VICE aren't done just yet though, as CPA asks for the tag. Bosley holds Tyler upright as CPA measures him. BOSLEY YEAH! END THIS PUNK! PUT THAT FIST RIGHT THROUGH HIS GODDAMN HEART BIG DOG! And CPA nearly does with the GIGATON PUNCH!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The punch! And Tyler is done! This is a damn shame! CPA finally makes the cover with Bosley still ranting like a lunatic to the fans... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match, advancing to the second round of the 2009 Anderson Cup competition... DETECTIVE BOSLEY and CPA... VVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Amped up, Bosley bumps chests repeatedly with CPA who is much cooler about the victory than his partner. Bosley demands his hand be raised in victory by the ref and continues to rant away like only he can. COLE And they're proud. They're proud of themselves, after this!? COACH Hey, they're through to the next round of the Anderson Cup. Twenty minutes ago they weren't even in the tournament, of course they're gonna be happy about winning. Shayne is attended to in the aisle by medical personel now that the match is over, still grimacing in pain at the damage done to his arm. Referee Chioda is able to get VICE out of the ring before they can do any more damage to Tyler at least. And as the guns for hire pass Shayne, Bosley can't resist shouting a few words his way just to rub it in. COLE Give me a break! Bosley celebrates boisterously at the top of the ramp, while a shaken-up Tyler drags himself down the ramp to check on his tag team partner. COLE D*LUX had such high hopes of winning the Anderson Cup and this tournament meant so much to them, it's a damn shame to see those hopes go down like this. Shayne knew he was risking injury by competing tonight but he couldn't have been expecting that sneak attack when he made his decision. COACH This would have happened sooner or later. The guy was going to wrestle with a broken wrist, he was asking for trouble! And if you're asking for trouble, VICE are happy to deal it. COLE Well D*LUX's dreams are sadly ended and VICE move on. And... well, I'm sure this is no coincidence, take a look at the brackets Coach. Tell me Theodore Moneymaker didn't see this coming when he bought off the Last Kings Of Scotland earlier on tonight. VICE to take on Tim Cash and Baron Windels in the next round! COACH Hehe... a mere coincidence, I'm sure. COLE Yeah, I'm sure.

Over at the HeldDOWN~! interview stage it's a brief moment of quiet for Maggie Nerdly and crew. As the team work on getting the lighting prepared for their next assignment Maggie stands getting her make-up re-touched. Into this scene appears the World Heavyweight Champion Leon Rodez. And suddenly the mood gets a little tenser. Sensing this, Maggie turns around to see what's causing the frosty atmosphere all of a sudden and comes face to face with her former boyfriend. Before you know it, everyone has found a job to be getting on with, anything to get out of the way of the potential sparks. LEON Can I have a word? MAGGIE You're not on my interview schedule. LEON It's not for an interview Maggie... MAGGIE Well in that case, I'm busy. As Maggie goes to turn away Leon instinctively reaches out and grabs her shoulder to stop her. He very quickly pulls it away again, the physical contact managing to make an awkward situation even more awkward. LEON Look, I just wanted to ask your for some help. MAGGIE Oh, do I owe you a favour? My bad. I must have forgotten all about it, what with you do so much for me recently. All those good deeds kinda run together I guess. LEON Yeah, the sarcasm really works for you, I'd run with it. It's not for me, okay. Jade and Melody are still fighting over some stupid arguement they had and somebody needs to help them see sense and patch things up, because apparantly they're too stubborn to do it themselves. So I was kinda hoping that you could have a word with one of them. I'd really rather not do it all in public if we can avoid it. MAGGIE So you want me to talk to Jade? LEON ...I was kinda hoping you could talk Melody. MAGGIE Oh, yeah, that'd be kinda awkward for you, wouldn't it. Leon rolls his eyes. MAGGIE If Melody's having a fight, that's her problem. Chances are she started it anyway. If Jade wants to talk, she knows how to hit me up. Otherwise, I could care less about Melody's latest little 'flame war'. LEON You know what, maybe I shouldn't have asked. MAGGIE Maybe you shouldn't. LEON Nice talking to you. Shaking his head Leon skulks off leaving Maggie to continue with her make-up application. Meanwhile, we go elsewhere backstage, where we find D*LUX getting ready. Although it's clear from the look on Shayne's face that he's not comfortable as he grimaces putting on his jacket, a plaster cast on his left arm. A fact not lost on Tyler. TYLER Are you sure about this? It's not too late to back out. SHAYNE No. This is the Anderson Cup, man. This is what we've been working for all year and this means way too much for us to pass up. Injury or no injury, this is once a year stuff. It's now or never. I ain't backing out. TYLER Alright, let's do this. As D*LUX slap hands and leave, we're transported yet again, this time to find their opponents The Last Kings Of Scotland already on the way to the ring. The Scots are deep in tactical discussion already. But the talking suddenly stops and the Last Kings stop in their tracks. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd in the arena howl with derision as Theodore Moneymaker walks into shot. In a crisp white suit he grins that trademark grin. A couple of seconds later, we see he's not alone, backed up by his VICE squad and Inspector Nerdly. MONEYMAKER Gentlemen. Ready for your match tonight? SCOTT Aye. MONEYMAKER Good. Glad to hear it. This is a big opportunity for you, isn't it? After years in the wilderness. Your time to shine finally. BWAHAHA... Beginning to laugh, Moneymaker clears his throat and covers it up as a cough. MONEYMAKER Sorry, nasal condition. Ahem. As I was saying, it's a big opportunity. Big chance of Anderson Cup success for the winners. Perhaps TOO big for some. And I'd hate to see you two young guys choke under the pressure. Let's face it, that could be the end of you two. It'll be bye bye, back to the hills of Scotland. DANNY What are yeh gettin' at? MONEYMAKER What I'm getting at gentlemen is this. You beat D*LUX at less than a 100% and you go down as a fluke. You lose and you might as well pack your bags. So I'm asking you to name your price to avoid that happening. What do you say, 3,000 each, American? The Last Kings look at each other in confusion as they watch Moneymaker reach into the breast pocket of his suit and casually flick through a wad of bills in his leather wallet. Nothing but small change to Moneymaker but possibly more money than the Scots have seen in their life. MONEYMAKER Yes? No? SCOTT We're interested. Just what are yeh askin' from us exactly? MONEYMAKER Simple. Forfeit your place in the Anderson Cup to my friends here. The Scots look at each other shocked as Bosley smiles. DANNY Woah woah, hang on there fellah, we thought yeh meant bustin' the blonde laddie's arm up or somethin', but this, I... MONEYMAKER Okay, 5000 each. The two Scots look at each other again, with Bosley eagerly trying to get them to take the money with his eyeballs alone. They make a few motions to each other before turning back to the Enterprise trio. SCOTT Make it ten a-piece. MONEYMAKER HAHAHA! A couple of shrewd negotiators, I never would have thought it. Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure doing business with you both. Use it wisely. After flicking out a few more bills in casual fashion, Moneymaker hands over the cash and shakes hands with the two. CPA nods to himself, with Bosley practically bounding on the balls of his heels in excitement. MONEYMAKER Come on gentlemen, we best get ready. BOSLEY YEAH! YUH~! Bosley pounds his chest as the threesome turn and leave. Left looking at their cash, The Last Kings Of Scotland still look like the situation hasn't sunk in yet, stunned at the lucrative deal they just pulled. COLE Are... are you kidding me!? Are you telling me that now D*LUX have to take on CPA and Bosley instead of the Last Kings Of Scotland!? Is this all above board!? COACH Hey, money talks and it just spoke loud and clear to those boys. That's a year's wages right there! COLE I am stunned. Absolutely stunned. We've seen Theodore Moneymaker using his financial backing to buy seedings from other teams before. But never outright spots in the tournament! Who says there's a recession in the world? COACH Wanna know the best thing? The exchange rate stinks, so he would have had to pay double that this time last year. Poor ass Scots! COLE Theodore Moneymaker using his money to get what he wants again, you know this is exactly what Zack Malibu has been talking about. Moneymaker wants to make the OAOAST his own personal billionaire's playtoy and he's just succeeded in doing it with the Anderson Cup, one of the proudest competitions in the OAOAST. Unbelievable.

Funny, I could have sworn he was on that list of people JR read out in the ring that one week. Guess not.

I actually agree with most of them this year. Aside from Khali's Kiss Cam (so it 'eats up TV time', people have gone from hating the guy to chanting for him and the Kiss Cam's been the main reason. Joe's gone from the other way from chanting to hate.) and Gabe getting votes (ROH fans, loyal to the bitter last), can't see much wrong. Yay!

I thought they announced Umaga is in? Did I just imagine that?

1. Who will win the 2009 Royal Rumble? (5 Pts) Randy Orton 2. Who will be the runner-up (3 pts) HHH 3. Who will be the iron-man? (5 pts) HHH 4. Who will have the shortest time? (5 pts) Charlie Haas 5. Who will have the most eliminated opponents? (3 pts) HHH 6. Who will draw #1 and #2 (3 pts each, 3 bonus for accurately naming both) HHH and Shelton Benjamin 7. Who will draw the most successful entry # of 27? (2 pts) Big Show 8. Who will draw the #30 spot? (3 pts) Chris Jericho 9. What will be the eventual winning #? (5 pts) 18 10. Will there be any surprise/unannounced entrants as of 1/25? (no point value), If yes, who will they be? (3 pts each) Umaga, Boogeyman, Kennedy, Honky Tonk Man, any ex-WWE wrestler still alive (hey, I don't lose points if they're not in, so why not!) 11. Will the endurance record of 62:12 held by Mysterio be broken? (no point value) If yes, who breaks it? (3 pts) and what will the new time be? (7 pts to closest time predicted) Yes, HHH, 64:05 12. Who will be the final six men in the ring? (3 pts each, 10 pts for accurately naming all) HHH, Orton, Morrison, Jericho, Show, Mysterio 13. How many instances of interference by non-competitors will we see? (2 pts) 1 14. Will anyone bleed? (no point value), if yes, who? (3 pts) Undertaker 15. If Charlie Haas is a participant, who does he imitate? (3 pts) Bushwhacker Luke/Butch

I thought we had a week more until the show than we do! D'oh. If you guys haven't gotten around to telling Alfdogg who you want in the Rumble by now, hurry up and do it. OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Leon Rodez © vs. Mr. Dick

I got mine in late too, which might explain why I'm still at 180. That and my lack of effort.