King Cucaracha

I'm pretty sure they'll still use the word 'wrestle', or variations there-of, as and when, don't panic. It's supposedly against the rules to use the word 'fan' anymore and Grisham used it about 6 times in one match on ECW last week that I noticed. I'm pretty sure he still has a job, right? When they change it to "World Entertainment Entertainment", we can all take the suicide pills. Until then, just keep telling yourself it's going to be okay.

I remember in 82, when Snuka came off the Cage. That was when wrasslin' was wrasslin' brother! They didn't call 'em entertainers then and they ought'nt call 'em that now neither. It just ain't the same as the olden days. Wrasslin's dead to me! *chews on imaginary cigar, for some reason*

If anyone fancies an extra day, I'd appreciate it!

I totally forgot too. Here's a list, no need to use all of them obviously. D*LUX Love Docs Spencer Reiger Mardi Gras Bosley Jamie O'Hara Biff Atlas Christ Air Express

Pretty much this. The tag division is pretty evenly shared between us all, so go with whoever and it'll get to the right person in the end! Also, Cortez is pretty much with me now too I suppose.

MATTHEWS Josh Matthews standing by, with the Halloween Spectacular just over a week away. And my guests at this time are in for an historic test in Miami, set to take on the OAOAST's first ever mother/daughter tag team combination of Krista and Jade, they being Malaysia Nerdly and Jo... As Malaysia and Mr. Dick walk in, Josh hurriedly stops himself. MR. DICK Now I know you weren't fixing to call me what I think you were bitchboy. It's Mister Dick. Not Jock, not Dick, not Dickie, not nothing but [i]Mister[/i] Dick. You disrespect the Dick and it'll do the same right back atcha. MATTHEWS Duly noted. Now, after your actions last week, I have to ask, are you worried about what Krista's fixing to do to you in eight nights? Mr. Dick gives Josh an incredulous look, before snatching the microphone away from him. MR. DICK Do I look like a man who oughta be worried by anyone? Take a good look at me Josh. Go on, go ahead. I know you wanna lay them eyes on me faggot, this one's a freebie. Take a lookie-loo at these washboard abdominals. Take a look at the bulging biceps. Feast your eyes on the tight, toned BUTT of a champion! I'm in the best shape of my life. Hell, I'm in the best shape of ANYBODY's life! 6'4, 238 of Texas's finest thoroughbred. Only difference is, the horses are the ones with penis envy when it Mr. Dick's out on the ranch! I'm lean and I'm mean, in all the right places. Now take them eyes off'a me pervert. Save it for the privacy of your hotel room, freak. And while you're at it, quit looking at my woman too. Whether you got a dick or not and from where I'm sitting it's mighty inconclusive, you sure as all hell ain't got one like mine so you wouldn't have a clue what to do with a certified sexual predator like her! Malaysia growls under her breath at Josh. MR. DICK You've just been lusting them homo eyes up and down this chiseled human masterpiece, you tell me why I oughta be worried by anybody. Let alone a couple bitch women. Ya'll think just cause the Duncans are teaming up for the first time in history that me an' Malaysia an' the rest of the world better be worried? Face it, they ain't got no hope! An entire family of bitches, not one of them knows how to handle a dick and I'm the biggest Dick of them all! What hope they got!? No hope! No hopers! Krista found out long ago she weren't woman enough to satisfy a man, that's why she devoted her life to cleaning more carpets than an asian housemaid! And as for lil' Jade... MATTHEWS Maybe you'd better stop right there. Krista's already threatened some serious injury on you after your attempted attack on Jade last week. And I hope for your sake you're not thinking of trying that again at the Halloween Spectacular! MR. DICK Don't you worry about a thing. See, I had a little talk with President Baker. An' staring at her horseface for 20 minutes straight helped me come to the sudden realisation that there ain't but one person in the OAOAST worthy enough of close encounters of the penile kind with Mr. Dick. Actually, scratch that. Only this beast next to me is worthy enough of [i]this[/i] beast hanging outta me. Not a person else. So Krista, you rest easy. You can go back, safe in the knowledge that ain't no man gonna wanna touch your illegitimate spawn. Mr. Dick's juices are a commodity more precious than holy water, I ain't gonna waste a drop on your worthless daughter. She's already a walking waste of sperm so she don't need no more of a taste! MATTHEWS I tell ya, you are walking a tight line right now... MR. DICK I ain't walkin' nothing but the road to immortality, faggot! I told ya'll I was gonna get my revenge and I am. I told ya'll I was gonna make history and I will. I told ya'll Krista's kids were her one weakness and by god ya'll gonna find out I was right about that too. See, I'm so confident about what's gonna go down in Miami, I'm gonna go ahead and walk you through it a week early. What's gonna happen is the same that always happens. Krista's gonna come out and she's gonna make a scene outta herself. She'll be dancing and prancing and all that. Only this time, she's gonna turn around while she be rubbing her coochie up and down on somebody and she's gonna see her little daughter standing there with her mouth wide open wondering why no man ain't ever gonna treat her like that, yet when those legs creak open they're queued around the block to clean out those cobwebs out from her momma's MILF cooch! That's when Krista takes her eye off the Dick... and BAM! We take her out. Then, all we gotta deal with is the weak link. Tell 'em what you're gonna do to the fat kid! Tell 'em! MALAYSIA I'm gonna stomp her... I'm gonna slap her... I'm gonna CHOKE her. MR. DICK Then what? THEN WHAT!? MALAYSIA Then, when she's down on the mat, I'm going take my boot... and I'm going to press it down across her throat, compressing her windpipe until her breathing begins to slow. Forgetting all about their interview, Mr. Dick and Malaysia lock eyes, their lips inches away from each other. MR. DICK Oh yeah! Keep going baby, keep going! MALAYSIA Her eyes will bulge... her skin, reddening... panic causing her to squirm and struggle under my foot... her blood, running cold... Just before the two lunge into each other's mouths, Mr. Dick wheels away from the panting Malaysia and snatches the microphone from Josh. MR. DICK And that's when I turn around and kick Krista's teeth right down her stinkin' throat!! She's gonna watch her daughter get TORTURED and then, just when she thinks it can't get any worse, Mr. Dick's gonna do exactly what he said he was gonna do... he's gonna take Krista Isadora Duncan and he's gonna make her SUBMIT!! If I gotta break an ankle, snap a leg, seperate a shoulder, it doesn't matter! She will submit to Mr. Dick! She will submit for the first time in her career! I'm not gonna stop until I make her tap. You know why? You know what's gonna keep me going, even with a human life precarious in my hands!? Every scream comin' outta Krista's mouth. Every bone cracking under her skin. Every tortured slap of that hand against that mat, begging for the pain to stop. Because I know that's gonna get Malaysia off and she's gonna turn into an insatiable animal the moment we get through those curtains!! Miami ain't never gonna be the same, Krista ain't never gonna be the same and even Mr. Dick might not be the same by the time me and Malaysia are finished! Cause this bitch gets extra-freaky on Halloween. And after I make history in the ring, we're gonna go back to the hotel for a LONG game of Trick... or Dick!! The amped up Mr. Dick and Malaysia head off arm in arm, possibly for a pre-Halloween warm-up game, leaving behind a very creeped out Josh Matthews. COACH I tell you one thing Michael, she ain't gonna be bobbing for apples. COLE ...we'll be right back.

Cut to the stately dressing room of the Duncan clan*. (*Okay, so a dressing room is hardly stately. But this dressing room as as stately as one can get.) The camera focuses on a fancy changing cubicle behind which the award winning, video selling, cheque paying body that can only belong to Krista Isadora Duncan is silohuetted trying on an also silohuetted outfit. A bored looking Alix Maria Spezia flips through a style magazine, while an equally bored looking Jade Rodez-Duncan is busy tapping away on her iPhone. Both are engrossed in anything to keep them awake while they wait. After what seems like an age, Krista finally emerges from behind the curtain in a cheerleader outfit and does a twirl. Unfortunately neither daughter or girlfriend notice her. Krista grunts under her breath before stepping back behind the curtain, clearing her throat and twirling out again once she has their attention. And Jade almost drops her iPhone in shock. KRISTA Well, what do you think? JADE :O Oh, Mom, no! KRISTA No? Gee, I think it looks pretty sexy myself. Do you not like the colour? The fit? My affinity for 'Swag University' displayed on the front? What could possibly be your problem with this fantastic thing? Oh... ohhh, I get it, I get why you'd be worried by this. Mother's intuition. *taps nose* Don't worry sweetie, it's okay. You'll be the prettiest girl at the prom, I promise. *winks* Jade sighs. KRISTA Not that? Then what? What's wrong with it? We're going to be a tag team, we have to look the same, no? Cause I consulting wrestling historians who specifically informed me that all the best tag teams dress the same. That's what makes them good teams. ALIX But Lucius Soul and Rico De Janeiro look nothing alike! KRISTA I set-em up, you knock 'em down. Bam bam! JADE I understand that. It's just... well... I don't know if it's such a good idea. Those mothers who dress up their daughters to look like mini versions of them, you're always saying how they deserve painful deaths. KRISTA Yes, but those are other people. When I do it it's different because I'm wealthy and famous. JADE Yeah, but... it's just... ya know, you, in a cheerleader's outfit. KRISTA Hmm. JADE My Mom. KRISTA Hmmm. JADE With me. KRISTA Still failing to see the point here. Don't tell me you'd be embarrased by being seen with me looking like this because that'd be a damn dirty lie. Don't you want all the boys to know where you got that body from. BAM! Them's the ovaries ladies and gents! Especially ladies. Single mom in well working order, ladies grab your tickets to grab dem cakes. It's actually over-dressing by my swagnificent standards. ALIX Hmm, allow me to put my detective hat on one second. I think what's Miss Jade's trying to say in her special, timid shrew trapped by a cat and barely able to make a squeak in fear way that we all love is, if you're out in the arena in a cheerleader's outfit, next to your cute, young daughter who's also in a cheerleader's outfit, you run the risk of coming across as old and desperate for attention. You know, like all those women dressed as cheerleaders on all the porn sites. Sooo disappointing. *looks up* Hey, where'd my hat go!? Krista can't hide her amazement KRISTA I'm sorry, but are you saying my daughter is going to look hotter than me? Because if you are then sugar I think you need to get your eyes tested... (to Jade) no offence honey... (to Alix) I mean come on, look at my bazookas in this thing, huh!? BAM BAM BAM! I'M SHOOTIN' EM ALL DOWN! ALIX Nuh-uh. I didn't say hotter. I said younger. KRISTA Well isn't that the darned same thing? As the two not quite so young but certainly young looking women contemplate this quandry, Jade takes a stand. Literally. JADE Look, please Mom. If we're going to be teaming together, it'd be really nice if you... you know... tried not to do any of that weird stuff you usually do? KRISTA But it's the weird stuff that makes me so popular! Right? Getting no support from either daughter or girlfriend, Krista folds her arms. KRISTA Look, don't get mad at me, you're the one who agreed to this stupid match young lady. JADE Uh, no, actually Alix did before I could say no. All eyes turn to a cornered Miss Spezia. ALIX I just thought it would make a poignant moment in our family's history. JADE Wait... what do you mean by (sarcastic) [i]"You're the one who agreed to this stupid match"[/i]? KRISTA Well, as we say in Hollywood, 'what's my motivation?' What's in it for me really? Yes, I'm teaming with my eldest daughter and I'm sure that's something to go in the coveted OAOAST record books till the end of time. But if you really want us to do something together as a mother and daughter, why not let those people from E! pay us to put cameras in our house and do that reality show they keep pestering my agent about. It'd pay more and reality TV is still marginally more credible than the OAOAST. Besides, I already beat Mr. Dick... ALIX LOLZ! KRISTA ...last month. Don't get me wrong, any chance to illustrate Chick's dominance over Dick is just fantastic, because it might jog people's memories and shift a few more copies of mine and Alix's best of DVD and we'll be seeing some royalty cheques flooding through the letterbox. Other than that, really what's the point? His freaky girlfriend I wouldn't mind meeting again but there's many places higher on my dating hierachy than a wrestling ring. You see where I'm coming from, surely. Your Mom's a hot commodity in so many different fields. If I just went out and accepted every movie role and every commercial endorsement deal that was flung at my agent, not only would I be rather tired, but my credibility would plunge like the US economy, which incidently is a major factor in me making sure my credibility doesn't plunge. JADE So, you're saying you don't want to team with me? KRISTA I'm saying I'd rather not team up with you in a wrestling capacity, yes. A co-starring or a collaberation, sure, but tag-teaming? Surprised at her mother's stark honesty, Jade sadly hangs her head and starts to walk off. JADE Don't worry, I get it. Well, I'm sorry I can't be the partner you want me to be. I guess being Women's Champion isn't good enough for you!? You think I'm going to embarrass you, don't you!? I hate you sometimes, you're the worst mother in the world!! KRISTA Wha... Jade stomps off from her mother in a typical teenage huff, slamming the door behind her. Luckily for Krista it swings back open. KRISTA You don't mean that! What about Lynn Spears? Jade!? Jade, I didn't mean I didn't want to team with you specifically! I just don't like to wrestle, period! I HATE WRESTLING! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS ABOUT ME YET!? Realising Jade isn't coming back, Krista sighs and slumps into the couch in her own huff. ALIX Do you want me to talk to her? KRISTA Nah, I'll just wait for her to calm down and buy her something nice to make it up to her. Alix sits down next to Krista with a dreamy look on her face, as she places a hand on Krista's thigh. ALIX We're going to make great parents.

To be fair, the WCW ones were the same. Douglas isn't that much bigger than Awesome, where-as Vampiro and Sting are relatively small and Booker, Steiner and Benoit were all smaller still.

Sent.

Well, he wasn't a math teacher, he was a Social Studies teacher. He clearly wasn't a geography teacher either. Last week he said that Arsenal were an Irish soccer team, when everybody who's British can clearly tell you they're French if they're anything. *waits for 2 people, tops, to get that* Eh.

Alright! Only Smackdown and Cyber Sunday to go, so only downhill from here, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

And the biggest roster in the game gets bigger! Out: Kane Jillian Hall Ricky Ortiz (13.5m) In: Khali- 6m Runjin Singh- 2m Kelly Kelly- 3m Boogeyman- 2.5m Month 2 Roster Santino Marella The Miz Manu Maria Shelton Benjamin Hornswaggle JBL Finlay Chavo Guerrero The Great Khali Runjin Singh Kelly Kelly The Boogeyman

Yeah, that's pretty much what I was afraid of. Would have given me a chance to ditch Shelton though. 'Preview match' my arse, I was banking on those title defence points!

It's not as if he just laughs at them and that's it though. He laughs at them, to show he's a cool guy and stuff I suppose, then gets serious a few seconds later. When he laughed at Jericho, he followed it up by admitting that if he lost Jericho would earn respect. He didn't just laugh and leave it at that. He's a big powerhouse who laughs it up once in a while when a heel threatens to kick his ass. And guess what? He's over. If he were just some super-serious bigman, would people react in the same way?

Stables Battle Royal 2 Winners face at Halloween Spectacular Winner becomes #1 Contender for November Reign In Crowd vs. Enterprise vs. Deadly Alliance vs. Cucaracha Internacional (Leon, Zack, Moneymaker, CW, Ned, Simon, CPA, Bosley, Reject, TK, Sandman, Black, Blonde, Faqu, Cortez) STARTS: IC, ENT, DA, CI BLOCK 1: IC, ENT, DA, CI BLOCK 2: ENT, DA, CI BLOCK 3: ENT, CI BLOCK 4: ENT BLOCK 5: ENT

So, when the baby comes and it's time to cut the ambilical cord, the music hits, right? Right!?

Um...what effect would Triple H have on that match? I mean, Trips is on Smackdown now, whereas all the guys I mentioned for that match are either on Raw or ECW (which has shifted from a Smackdown talent exchange to a Raw one) If anything, Trips will probably be defending the title at the PPV. But HHH is an asshole who ruins everything good in wrestling! Don't you pay attention? Come on, DCH woulda MARK OUT~! for this match! Of course the evil Hunter's going to ruin it!

So the trades come into effect before the PPV? Or after?

Haas managing to botch Austin's catchphrase was the highlight of the show. "Whoop a can of whoopass" indeed.

I have the Shane Douglas figure actually. Although if it's really that rare, maybe not for much longer! I have Awesome, Vamp and Kidman too, although the latter two might be different attires. Here's a question with nothing to do with Old School stuff, but whatever- are the TNA figures the same size as the WCW ones? The only TNA one I own is Abyss and it's quite a bit larger than the WCW ones. Would an AJ or a Shark Boy be that much bigger than the WCW ones?

A couple of weeks ago on Vintage Collection they had a show from 85/86ish in MSG, with a Tag Team Battle Royal. And for some reason a babyface Islanders won it over Studd and Bundy. Did they ever have any plans for The Islanders. Honestly, I only remember their heel run under Heenan and that's only for their WM IV match. Did they do anything of note besides that? And what happened to Tama?

Survivor Series 1999, the 8-man involving Too Cool, which came right after Austin being run down. Lawler spends not all but a lot of the match jabbing at JR about Austin. Then when they do get onto the match, I'm pretty sure they spent a lot of time talking about Scotty's ring attire and hat and/or Brian Christopher's family heritage. One of their last memorable performances as a team IMO.

I know it was listed in a mid-90s magazine made by WWF, so it may be biased... But there was a Michaels/Jannetty cage match back in the day. Was that any good? I assume that's the one on the Cage Matches DVD (Bloodbath?). If so, it's good but not great. That was during Shawn's 93 phase where he was surprisingly heavy-looking. There was that handicap Cage Match on Smackdown against Edge and co. which was pretty good.

I prefer Dicklesskin myself. Much better for stupid punny move-names. Anyway, cheers for handling that Toxx. Kinda threw you into the lurch there... or is it left you in the lurch? I forget. I'll try and flesh out the card descriptions or something to make it right.

Intergender Tag Team Match Krista Isadora Duncan and Jade Rodez-Duncan vs. Mr. Dick and Malaysia Nerdly