King Cucaracha

Timezones suck.

I've still got this show on VHS and it's not that bad a show. Typically for WCW 2000, too much happens in too short a period of time but it's entertaining enough in retrospect. I actually liked the main event. Arquette as World Champion speaks for itself, but he doesn't harm the match and stays out of the way for the most-part. Kanyon/Awesome is MOTN and a perfect example of two guys who could have accomplished a lot more if given the chance. And the Hardcore 3-Way is a lot of fun, which should be obvious when it involves Funk, Screamin' Norman and the one and only Ralphus.

My match is going to have to be tommorrow as well. We've had a powercut most of the day thanks to some genius builder next door to us hitting a power line. Computer - Electricity = No good.

Before Jock/Tim plz! With the show ongoing in the arena, we find ourself backstage with Maggie Nerdly going through a piece to camera in front of the OAOAST interview backdrop. Already on Take 3 thanks to a faulty piece of lighting equipment and Jumbo not-so helpfully asking her for help with his crossword puzzle halfway through her piece, Maggie waits around while the production guys get everything set up again. On the sidelines watching is Leon Rodez, apparantly waiting to get a word. As soon as Maggie notices Leon though she asks for a second and skips over to him, giving him an enthusiastic peck on the cheek. LEON Wow, what was that for? MAGGIE For being the cutest boyfriend in the world of course! (pecks Leon again) So, what's that happy-haps, my chappy-chap? LEON Eh, not much. MAGGIE Coolio. Listen, just lemme get this bit done and dusted and we'll go grab something to eat. I feel like we haven't had any... 'alone time' in forever, know what I mean? LEON Yeah I do. That'd be great actually, turns out I needed to talk to you about something. Looking intrigued, Maggie smiles and waves goodbye to her boyfriend before walking all of four feet back in front of camera to finish off her piece. Leon waves back, a little absent-mindedly. MAGGIE We ready boys? ..... HEY, it's your number one hook-up one more time, Maggie Nerdly getting ready for the AfterParty! This week we're finding out what really makes my main man T-Bod tick as he gives ya'll the types to get that perfect beach bod' and beyond. Plus we're gonna be learning how to Riverdance with D*LUX and Nat Black tries to convert us to his idea of real sport with the Chelsea soccer team. Sure they ain't no EPL champs, but they're okay. All that on the Afterparty, OAOAST.com! Holding her final pose for a couple of extra seconds just incase, Maggie gives a quick thumbs up before skipping back off to Leon. MAGGIE (mimes dunking a basketball) Nailed it. Oh yeah. Sooo, care to settle my intrigue? LEON It's nothing really. It's just Melody's not been the same since what happened in Milan... Maggie sighs and rolls her eyes. LEON ...and she clams up every time I try asking her about this 'Malaysia'. So, I just wondered what can you tell me really. What she's doing here. What her problem is with Melody. Why Melody's so worried. Anything you think'd help. MAGGIE Yeah. Uh, turns out I can't make our meal after all. LEON Please? Maggie rolls her eyes again. MAGGIE Fine. Malaysia's... she's real big. You probably noticed that already. But, that's pretty much her 'thing'. She'd always bully us and acted like she thought she could kick all our asses combined. Just because she was 50 pounds bigger, half a foot taller and could kick all our asses combined. Can you believe that? LEON Why would she do that though? I mean, I know you Nerdlys are dysfunctional, but still. MAGGIE Hmm. There are many theories amongst our fair family. It could be a chemical imbalance related to her abdonormal size. Or, it could be because we all kinda used to tease her about it. Could have been the calling her King-Kong. Or Godzilla. Or Optimus Prime. Never really got that one. It could also have been Molly submitting that wildlife video about her in video production class. Could have been any number of things really. Point is, she doesn't like the rest of us Nerdlys too much. She just stayed down in our gym in the basement. Which, as a long-time friend of Melvin and Marvin's, you'll understand lead to much isolation. Nerds can be so cruel sometimes. Oh, and she's got this weird thing for getting off on making people feel pain too. Anything else? LEON That probably covers it, thanks. MAGGIE Great. So I'll see you around I guess. Smiling, Leon wraps an arm around the suddenly less affectionate Maggie. LEON We'll catch up soon, I promise. I've just got to do something first. MAGGIE Don't sweat it. I've gotta get to that Afterparty anyway. LEON It's a fictitious party Mags. MAGGIE I know. But I've still gotta do a couple of re-takes for the show. Rock n' roll! Chuckling to himself, Leon gives Maggie a peck on the cheek before walking off, leaving the Women's Champion behind with arms folded and a slight pout on. MAGGIE Hey, any of you camera dudes fancy getting smashed on margaritas once we're done?

COLE But first, let's get up to the ring where a very special guest is standing by! We go right to the ring where the World Heavyweight Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, is already in the ring and watching on with a bored expression as he waits for Cole to finish talking. The already cheering crowd increase in volume once the main camera is on PRL, leant against the ropes by the announce table. PRL No no, don't stop on my account. I've only been standing here for three minutes waiting for you to shut the hell up and get on with the show. Did you get everything? COLE We- PRL Shut up! COACH HA! You just got served by the World Cha- PRL Hey, Coach, I thought I sent you packing a couple of weeks ago. These ESPN contracts aren't what they used to be nowadays, huh? "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" PRL See, these people have been waiting to chant the Champ's name from the moment my music hit, to the moment I grabbed this microphone, to the moment the fireworks went off. Nobody cares what's happening later. Nobody cares about your funny little back-and-forths. Nobody cares what second rate Wikipedia research you've done in between trawling your bizarre little pornography hotspots during the week. All that matters is that we are in Belfast, Northern Ireland... "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" PRL ...and that the CHAMP... IS HERE!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH ...he sure told you. PRL Tha Puerto Rican is in the house and he has a couple of things to get off of his chest. School's Out is ten days away. And I am wondering what in the hell is going on around here lately to leave me with not one, but TWO number one contenders! I want to know how a simple number one contender tournament has left me dealing with one of the biggest pain in the asses walking God's green earth again. And I definately need to know who in the hell thought 'Tha Czech Republican' was a funny idea last week! Because I am absolutely stumped. COACH Hey, it's his fault. PRL So in ten days time, now I've got not one but two number one contenders to deal with. The solution to this whole mess is to stick me in a Triple Threat Match. It's gonna be Tha Puerto Rican defending against Todd Cortez and Landon Maddix. Two nobodies who've been dancing the same merry dance for nine long, boring months. And I could give a flying crap about it! PRL paces around the ring. PRL Landon likes Todd. Todd hates Landon. Now Todd is Landon's tag team partner. Now he's not. They fight, they make up, they fight again. It's like a watching an entire series of the homosexual version of Friends and damn it all if the heterosexual version isn't bad enough! Well at School's Out, they will feel the firm bitchslap of reality from the World Heavyweight Champion! And at School's Out, I guaran-damn-tee that Tha Puerto Rican will LAY THE SMA... .:CUE: "Oh No", Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche:. COLE Uh-oh. COACH Well this just got interesting. The Belfast crowd's necks collectively crane towards the entrance way as out marches Todd Cortez, interrupting the World Champion! PRL shoots the evil eye towards Cortez as he heads down the aisleway, enters the ring and walks right past him to grab his own microphone. PRL Woah woah woah. I was under the impression you were a mute. Cortez looks distinctly unimpressed. CORTEZ Real simple. Why? PRL Why what? Why anything? Am I supposed to be some sort of mind reader or is this a riddle maybe? CORTEZ Why did you get me disqualified? Was it deliberate, or not? COACH Oh yeah, here we go. Get out of this one big mouth! Eyeing Cortez up, PRL shakes his head. PRL First of all, who in the hell are you to interrupt the World Champion? Secondly, who the hell are you to suggest I got you deliberately disqualified? And why? Because [i]Landon[/i] said I did? I'd have thought you of all people would understand the crap that comes out of his mouth! So, what? You think that I came in and got you DQed so I wouldn't have to deal with your flippy little piledriver. The fact is, Tha Puerto Rican wipes his ass with your ridiculous looking move! It's simple. Maddix threw water on me. I went into the ring and smacked Maddix around for ruining a thousand dollar shirt. End of story. The very fact that you'd even for a second believe ANYTHING that Landon Maddix makes me wonder if I doubted you. Because I was actually looking forward to fighting you at School's Out. Cortez looks a little dubious still. PRL Todd Cortez, the man that stood up for himself. The guy who stopped listening to Landon Maddix's bullshit and went out for himself, to be his own man. Do you realise how many years I spent in the OAOAST, surrounded by 'yes men'? Snivelling cowards like Vitamin X. Like Spanish Fly. Like Thomas Rodriguez. People without the balls to stand up for themselves. People with no brains of their own. You were almost 'that guy' and you got away. You showed you had a brain. And you won the tournament to get a shot at Tha Puerto Rican at School's Out. But then, you throw it all away! Fact is, if you hadn't accepted Landon's challenge, you'd still be facing me one on one in ten days. Don't blame Tha Puerto Rican. YOU made the mistake, pal! With arms folded, Cortez waits for PRL to finish... ...but is interrupted by "Megalomaniac" and the arrival of LANDON MADDIX! COLE Aw great. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With a scowl etched on his face, Landon steps out onto the entrance way and shakes his head while motioning for some quiet from the Belfast public. Megan Skye stands at his side and tries to lend a hand, but gets no more success than Landon. MADDIX Enough of this! Enough! All of this is a waste of time... "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Landon directs his scowl at the fans until they settle down again. MADDIX All of this talk is a waste of time, because this situation is about to change. The card subject to change [i]has[/i] been changed. Because last week, in front of thousands of people in Birmingham and a worldwide TV audience, you Todd Cortez made the single DUMBEST move of your entire life! You used your little Riot Act Plus on me, again. "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" MADDIX And now, you can spend the next thirty days practicising on your public speaking a little more, because you are officially suspen... PRL Hang on one second here. Pissed at being interrupted, Landon puts his hands on his hips. PRL Correct me if I'm wrong, but last week you were wrestling in your little European challenge? MADDIX I was, but Todd came out in a mask. PRL Correct me again, but I thought I saw you against a guy called Tha Czech Republican? MADDIX Which was Todd under a mask. PRL Hmm. Interesting. See, because I know Tha Czech Republican. MADDIX Do you also know he's Todd under a mask. PRL Nope. Don't remember that. We've swapped cheques a couple of times, that's about all I remember. Anyway, didn't I remember hearing Michael Cole there call that fancy piledriver, NOT the Riot Act Plus, but the Czech Republican Destroyer, the signature move of Tha Czech Republican as everybody knows. MADDIX It was the Riot Act Plus because it was Todd under a mask! PRL turns to Cortez and looks at him curiously. PRL No. That can't be right. See... Todd Cortez was with me that entire night. COACH WHAT!? Losing his temper, Landon takes a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down while Todd wonders what the hell PRL's talking about. MADDIX Wha... what the hell are you talking about!? Just shut up and let me deal with this. PRL I can't do that, because Todd here's innocent. While you were getting dropped on your head and pinned, Todd was with me. He can't have piledrove you. He wasn't there. So, I guess you can't suspend him since he's got an alibi. Sorry. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Landon slowly begins to turn bright red, fists clenched. Megan can be seen asking him if he's okay, but just gets the sound of teeth grinding in response. As Cortez shrugs his shoulders and decides to play along rather than get landed with the 30-day suspension, that's when Landon threatens to really lose it. MADDIX Okay. Okay, yeah, I get it. Of course. Because that's what YOU people do, isn't it, give each other alibis and stuff. Oh, [i]que pesa![/i] That's cool. That's... yeah. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COLE Landon's about to have a breakdown any second here. COACH I don't blame him! MADDIX In that case, we'll just go with that whole triple threat thing at School's Out, no problem. Sounds good. Can't wait. In the meantime, since you're NOT gonna be suspended, how about we have a little tag team match here tonight? Huh? That sound good, 'amigos'? Oh yeah. Let's have it be me, teaming up with... my GOOD PAL, Todd Cortez! Or, Tha Czech Republican, if he's available of course. Either's good! And together, we'll take on the most honest man in professional wrestling, PRL... and whoever he can find to team with him now all his lackeys do not wub him anymore. How about that? Good? Good. Good. I'm going now, have a great time. Landon drops the microphone and stomps off to continue his temper tantrum some place else, with Megan scuttling off after him. In the ring, Cortez and PRL now turn and stare each other down with the tables suddenly turned on each other. COLE Not quite the start to the night Landon was hoping for. But he might get a better end to it, when the School's Out main-eventers do battle in tag-team action!

HD. Sorry, should have made that clearer!

Yeah, the WWE Specials are pretty much an hour of the 'latest' DVD documentary. Right thread for this, I like how on the repeat shows they fill the lost commercial time between the UK's commercials and the US's endless commercials with a From The Vault match. And that they've gone from random Smackdown/Raw matches to random whatever the next PPV is matches. Last week's Smackdown had London/Chavo from JD '05 I think.

Brought to you by American Express Taped: N/A First air date: May 12th, 2007 (check local listings for airings in your area) Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan Junior correspondent: Josh Matthews Okay, here's the deal. 1) I don't type ebonic like Patty, so I ain't even gonna try. 2) 4 Syndicated matches + 1 HD match does not equal good maths. Which is why this week's edition of Syndicated has suffered from the same transportation problems that explain why there was only one match on HeldDOWN. In England, we have a little thing called Terminal 5. Look it up. It's a shambles. Luggage got lost, people sleeping in boxes. This is the horror that has befallen us and meant we're stuck looking ahead to School's Out, which is about two weeks away. Two weeks, people. Trawling through the archives are Tony Brannigan and Josh Matthews to look at School's Outs past and try to convince you to write for watch the one to come. T-Bod: The first School's Out was way back in 2003... J-Math: Really? Wow. T-Bod: Yes really. Why would I say it if it wasn't true, dickhead? Anyway, here's my old pal Mystery Eskimo and JINGUS in their famous 30 Minute Ironman TLC Barbed Wire Strap Match from the first School's Out. Which was in 2003. Dickhead. ~SCHOOL'S OUT 2003~ SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL (30 MINUTE IRONMAN TLC BARBED WIRE STRAP MATCH) ***Mystery Eskimo -VS- JINGUS*** http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?...st&p=778358 Still brand new at OAOAST.com THE BEST OF HELDDOWN 2007~! on 4-disc DVD! Yes, 4! Featuring: ~~DISC 1~~ ~The Road To AngleMania~ COD return promo, 1/4 Heat vs. PRL, 1/4 "It" promo, 1/11 Bill Neilson vs. "It", 1/11 (EASTER EGG) Alix's 'birthday party', 1/18 HI-YAH Tag Titles, 2/3 Falls, PRL and Popick vs. Heat and Fly, 1/18 Peter Knight 'touches down', 1/25 Landon Maddix's Lethal Rumble preperations, 1/25 The Heavenly Rockers vs. MGHWC, Anderson Cup 1st Round, 1/25 Enterprise promo, 1/25 (EASTER EGG) Zack/AS/Candie segment, 1/25 Riggs, Black T and Sooners vs. DDD, LSGS and COD, 1/25 Zack addresses Drek, 2/1 D*LUX vs. BHB, Anderson Cup Conf. Semi Final, 2/1 COD vs. SCM, The Shortest Reign In History, 2/1 Melody recruits the LSGS, 2/8 Krista gives Melody sage advice, 2/1 (EASTER EGG) BHB vs. Los Diablos, Anderson Cup Conf. Final, 2/15 Maddix vs. Caboose, Street Fight, 2/15 Reject, Waldo, Quincy and MGHWC vs. D*LUX, LSGS and O'Hara, 2/22 Drek arrives via private jet/walks the hallways/calls Hoff/parking lot promo, 3/1 Vitamin X confronts Caboose, 3/1 Moneymaker/Alix do dinner, 3/1 D*LUX vs. Martial Law, HI-YAH Tag Titles, 3/1 Moneymaker makes Maddix a deal, 3/8 COD vs. Martial Law, Tag Titles, 3/8 Drek's got a gun!, 3/8 Ned and Jade do a deal, 3/15 Jade stands up to Krista, 3/22 (EASTER EGG) Chicks On Art, 3/15 Leon looks forward to AM, 3/22 Drawing of the last MITB Battle Royal entrant, 3/29 Drek/Zack confrontation, 3/29 ~~DISC 2~~ ~Zack's Reign to Landon's Gain~ Drek/Zack AM fallout and School's Out build, 4/7 Alfdogg: WDW Champion, 4/7 Brannigan vs. Zack, 5th Anniversary showcase, 4/7 Leon/Jade confrontation, The slap heard around the world, 4/12 D*LUX vs. MGHWC, HI-YAH Tag Titles, 4/12 PRL and Wall vs. Bo and DDD, 4/12 World Tag Team Title Battle Royal, 4/19 BHB/MGHWC/Holly/LSGS promo, 4/19 (EASTER EGG) Brock and America's Team vs. The Enterprise, 6-Man Titles, 4/26 Caboose, Zack, Bo and O'Hara vs. Wall, PRL, VX and Bone Thug, 4/26 TK vs. Strutter, Heartland Title, 5/3 PRL vs. DDD, X-Division Title, 5/10 Bo/PRL confrontation, 5/10 (EASTER EGG) Biff Atlas's Inconvenient Truth, 5/17 Bohemoth forces PRL to repent his sins, 5/17 Leon vs. CW, Sooner City Street Fight, 5/17 Zack addresses Drek, 5/24 LSGS/MGHWC confrontation, 5/24 BHB vs. Usual Suspects, 5/24 Zack's 1st meeting with Mr. Money In The Bank, 5/31 LSGS vs. MGHWC, HI-YAH Tag Titles + THR post-match fallout, 5/31 LSGS promo on THR, 6/7 (EASTER EGG) Zack vs. Boricua, World Title, 6/7 PRL fires up Mr. Boricua, 6/7 (EASTER EGG) Zack/Landon/SCM segment, 6/14 COD vs. Los Infernales, Tag Titles, 6/14 OAOAST.com exclusive BHB 'tend' to Jade last week, 6/21 Leon/Alix reunion, 6/21 Moneymaker pays off Los Conquistadors, 6/28 Maya meets her heroes (D*LUX), 6/28 Landon Maddix cashes in MITB and wins the World Title!, 6/28 ~~DISC 3~~ ~Another Red Hot Summer~ COD visit the (Love) Doctors, 7/5 THR clash with Holly, 7/5 PRL crashes Landon's celebration ceremony, 7/5 Landon tries to cut a deal with SCM, 7/12 (EASTER EGG) Wall vs. Heat, 24/7 Title, + Riggs ruining the party, 7/12 AngleSlam contract signing, 7/12 THR vs. LSGS, Last Man Standing, 7/19 Moneymaker prepares Jade for B&P, 7/19 The BHB discover Molly Nerdly, 7/26 Cortez explains leaving Landon's side, 8/4 Tag Title Scramble Cage Match, 8/4 Enterprise promo, 8/9 BHB and CPA vs. 'Los Ninos Anorexicos', 6-Man Titles, 8/9 Alix/Leon segment, 8/9 (EASTER EGG) Krista vists her lawyer, 8/9 CW and Moneymaker vs. COD, Tag Titles, 8/16 Maddix vs. Cortez, World Title, 8/16 PRL and Landon put their women to the test, 8/23 Lindsay vs. Megan, Women's Title, 8/23 THR and Abdullah in 'heaven', 8/31 School Haze, 8/31 Zero Hour's main event made, 9/6 Maddix and PRL vs. Zack, 9/13 Landon and PR try to get along, 9/13 (EASTER EGG) Alf vs. Brock vs. TK vs. Stevens, 9/20 Riggs vs. Heat, Title vs. Title, 9/20 Maddix and Zack vs. PRL, 9/20 Landon and Zack try to get along, 9/20 (EASTER EGG) Leon and Maggie return from Booyah City!, 9/27 AS announces the 24/7/X Title merger, 9/27 ~~DISC 4~~ ~Winter Of Our Discontent~ Landon interrupts Zack, 10/5 THR and Holly explain their actions, 10/5 BHB vs. Love Docs, 10/5 Popick lays down the law to PRL, 10/11 Alf, Strutter, Reject and Team Heyross vs. Sandman, TK, Brock, Jumbo and Denzel, 10/11 Leon vs. Biff, 10/18 When Saulty met Molly, 10/18 Reject vs. Cortez, International Title, 10/18 Maddix/AS discuss Halloween show + Cortez, 10/18 (EASTER EGG) Krista: The Blonde Tornado (+Terry Taylor), 10/25 Zack vs. Popick, 10/25 Denzel vs. Reject, The Title Change The Wasn't, 11/8 Popick/PRL/Landon segment, 11/8 Landon vs. PRL + Bo's return, 11/8 Love Shack goes 'Springer' with COD and Mackie, 11/8 Sandman9000 vs. Reject, Heartland Title, 11/15 Reel Talk's HD debut, 11/15 Alix moves out, 11/15 Thanksgiving Tag Team Survivor Series Match, 11/22 Thanksgiving foodfight, 11/22 (EASTER EGG) Landon, PRL and Popick vs. Zack, Bo and Cortez, 11/22 The Lightning Crew betray PRL, 11/30 Team Alix vs. Team Krista, 11/30 Jade and D*LUX clean Krista's house, 11/30 (EASTER EGG) Bo and Zack start their friendly rivalry, 12/6 Boricua and Wall vs. Heat and Fly, The Corporate Turncoat, 12/6 Krista's mom drops in, 12/6 Reject vs. Denzel vs. Strutter vs. Sandman, International Title, 12/6 THR vs. Los Diablos, Tag Titles, 12/13 Landon in The Love Shack, 12/13 PRL vs. Cappa, 12/13 PRL/Cappa backstage, 12/13 (EASTER EGG) Krista vs. Lucius, 12/20 Strutter vs. Denzel, International Title, 12/20 Alix and CW vs. CAE, 12/28 An Unhappy Cucarannukah, 12/28 Reel Talk with Bo and Zack, 12/28 BHB vs. Zack and Bo, 12/28 T-Bod: Tag team wrestling's where I made my name and as part of argueably the best World Tag Team Champions in history, I think it's safe to say I know my stuff. And I still can't believe The Sk8ter Boiz won the tag straps in 2005. But they did and here's the proof. J-Math: I miss the Sk8ter Boiz. T-Bod: They still work here. J-Math: Yeah, but they're not 'The Sk8ter Boiz'. I miss that. I miss the name. The way they used a number 8 to represent the letter 'a'... just genius. Genius. You can't replace that. ~SCHOOL'S OUT 2005~ OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS ***The New, New Midnight Express -VS- The Sk8ter Boiz*** http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?...t&p=1895395 Most people graduate after six years of trying... NOT US! SCHOOL'S OUT 2008 May 25th, Albany, NY LIVE on Pay-Per-View! T-Bod: Sly Sommers has made a real triumphant comeback from adversity recently and he'll want to be a part of School's Out 2008, no doubt. Four years ago, he was a big part of School's Out, taking on Calvin Szechstein under European Rounds rules. Josh, wanna run through those real quick for us? J-Math: T-Bod: Good talk. Here's the match. ~SCHOOL'S OUT 2004~ EUROPEAN ROUNDS MATCH ***Sly Sommers -VS- Calvin Szechstein*** http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?...t&p=1427052 NEXT WEEK ON HELDDOWN~! Live from Belfast, Northern Ireland Zack Malibu and Bohemoth do battle one more time, it's Zack/Bo II- This Time It's Personal!! Plus, Landon Maddix will be in the house and Todd Cortez may be gone! Plus (hopefully) more. T-Bod: Last year, Zack Malibu beat Drek Stone to win the World Title... J-Math: I thought it was Derek Stone? T-Bod: Nope. Drek. J-Math: Oh. T-Bod: Yeeaahh. Anyway, Zack beat Drek in a hell of a match and one of important significance in OAOAST history... but that DVD is less than a year old still so you should still go out and buy it. So, instead, here's a match from 2006 with three guys still on the roster. One of them's Zack. So, almost as good. Enjoy. Fun game! Spot the character continuity error! (Hint: IT'S FAQU!) ~SCHOOL'S OUT 2006~ HI-YAH WORLD TITLE, TRIPLE THREAT MATCH ***Zack Malibu -VS- Faqu -VS- James Blonde*** http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?...t&p=2222296

Ah, I forgot about King Of The Mountain. I keep reading the arguement on Lethal as it keeps cropping up and I do buy what Truthiness is saying, to a point. Obviously two wrongs don't make a right so the explanation of 'well, TNA's screwed up so this couldn't be much worse' isn't the best opening arguing point. And secondly, some TNA fans, in particular the Impact Zone fans, seem like the "we're smart but we act smarter type" who'll cheer a guy when he's in the midcard but turn on him the moment they think he's being pushed before they say it's okay to push him. It's the Davey Richards syndrome. "Hey, this guy's pretty good for a new guy, he's got potential... oh, wait, now he's getting a push because we gave him good reactions, we actually think he's the worst wrestler on the planet and nothing more than a KENTA wannabee, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Whether Lethal deserves it or not, I can see sections of the crowd turning on him and finding fault with the stuff they used to love because he's getting big before they're willing to accept it. Not that decisions should be made for 'that type' of fan, but still.

Cena was good tonight, mainly because they kept him down to one poop-joke and he came off like a regular good guy who it's not shameful to get behind, rather than a good guy stetching to get laughs and forced reactions and bombing. Lesson- just let him be himself. No surprise to see uproar over Orton's theme music. Lesson 2- wrestling fans do not like change. It's been a month or so and thankfully (almost) everybody's over the 'OMG KENNEDY'S MUSIC SUCKS~!', 'OMG JEFF'S MUSIC ARE THEY TRYING TO STOP PEOPLE CHEERING FOR HIM~?!' hysterics. Orton's theme isn't great, but it fits his character better to have a slower song. His slow walk to the ring with evil eyes looked better with the new music than the old. Unless you were having an hysterical fit, I guess.

Maybe that's why they stuck him in and not Lethal? What Kaz brought was a more than competent worker thrown in with Joe and Steiner, who could carry some of the workload like Angle would (although obviously not to the same extent) but who wouldn't be a major distraction. The focus would still be on Joe/Steiner, but you still leave a fresh singles match in the future. Black Machismo is such a bombastic character, you throw him in and he threatens to overshadow Joe and Steiner, which wouldn't neccessarily be a negative but isn't what TNA wanted if they are, as it seems, going to go with Joe/Steiner 1 on 1. At a guess, once Angle went down they just needed a guy to be a distraction for Steiner before he got beat, then he can claim he wasn't beaten fair 1 on 1 and they have a rematch next month. And Kaz fit the bill better than Lethal. Either that or Kaz was winning the TerrorDome anyway and they just went with that.

Main event and opening segment. One explains the other. If everybody wants the week off again then just lemme know ahead of time. Cheers.

I'm semi-tempted to put a fiver on Watford. Something tells me they might have gotten their bad run out at the right time, be so relieved at still being in the playoffs that they figure 'hey, a reprieve, what have we got to lose?' and end up going up.

Brand new at [b]OAOAST.com[/b] [SIZE=4][COLOR=orange][b]THE BEST OF HELDDOWN 2007~![/b][/COLOR][/SIZE] on 4-disc DVD! Yes, 4! [IMG=http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii59/KingCucaracha/HDdvd.jpg] [b]Featuring:[/b] ~~DISC 1~~ ~The Road To AngleMania~ COD return promo, 1/4 Heat vs. PRL, 1/4 "It" promo, 1/11 Bill Neilson vs. "It", 1/11 (EASTER EGG) Alix's 'birthday party', 1/18 HI-YAH Tag Titles, 2/3 Falls, PRL and Popick vs. Heat and Fly, 1/18 Peter Knight 'touches down', 1/25 Landon Maddix's Lethal Rumble preperations, 1/25 The Heavenly Rockers vs. MGHWC, Anderson Cup 1st Round, 1/25 Enterprise promo, 1/25 (EASTER EGG) Zack/AS/Candie segment, 1/25 Riggs, Black T and Sooners vs. DDD, LSGS and COD, 1/25 Zack addresses Drek, 2/1 D*LUX vs. BHB, Anderson Cup Conf. Semi Final, 2/1 COD vs. SCM, The Shortest Reign In History, 2/1 Melody recruits the LSGS, 2/8 Krista gives Melody sage advice, 2/1 (EASTER EGG) BHB vs. Los Diablos, Anderson Cup Conf. Final, 2/15 Maddix vs. Caboose, Street Fight, 2/15 Reject, Waldo, Quincy and MGHWC vs. D*LUX, LSGS and O'Hara, 2/22 Drek arrives via private jet/walks the hallways/calls Hoff/parking lot promo, 3/1 Vitamin X confronts Caboose, 3/1 Moneymaker/Alix do dinner, 3/1 D*LUX vs. Martial Law, HI-YAH Tag Titles, 3/1 Moneymaker makes Maddix a deal, 3/8 COD vs. Martial Law, Tag Titles, 3/8 Drek's got a gun!, 3/8 Ned and Jade do a deal, 3/15 Jade stands up to Krista, 3/22 (EASTER EGG) Chicks On Art, 3/15 Leon looks forward to AM, 3/22 Drawing of the last MITB Battle Royal entrant, 3/29 Drek/Zack confrontation, 3/29 ~~DISC 2~~ ~Zack's Reign to Landon's Gain~ Drek/Zack AM fallout and School's Out build, 4/7 Alfdogg: WDW Champion, 4/7 Brannigan vs. Zack, 5th Anniversary showcase, 4/7 Leon/Jade confrontation, The slap heard around the world, 4/12 D*LUX vs. MGHWC, HI-YAH Tag Titles, 4/12 PRL and Wall vs. Bo and DDD, 4/12 World Tag Team Title Battle Royal, 4/19 BHB/MGHWC/Holly/LSGS promo, 4/19 (EASTER EGG) Brock and America's Team vs. The Enterprise, 6-Man Titles, 4/26 Caboose, Zack, Bo and O'Hara vs. Wall, PRL, VX and Bone Thug, 4/26 TK vs. Strutter, Heartland Title, 5/3 PRL vs. DDD, X-Division Title, 5/10 Bo/PRL confrontation, 5/10 (EASTER EGG) Biff Atlas's Inconvenient Truth, 5/17 Bohemoth forces PRL to repent his sins, 5/17 Leon vs. CW, Sooner City Street Fight, 5/17 Zack addresses Drek, 5/24 LSGS/MGHWC confrontation, 5/24 BHB vs. Usual Suspects, 5/24 Zack's 1st meeting with Mr. Money In The Bank, 5/31 LSGS vs. MGHWC, HI-YAH Tag Titles + THR post-match fallout, 5/31 LSGS promo on THR, 6/7 (EASTER EGG) Zack vs. Boricua, World Title, 6/7 PRL fires up Mr. Boricua, 6/7 (EASTER EGG) Zack/Landon/SCM segment, 6/14 COD vs. Los Infernales, Tag Titles, 6/14 OAOAST.com exclusive BHB 'tend' to Jade last week, 6/21 Leon/Alix reunion, 6/21 Moneymaker pays off Los Conquistadors, 6/28 Maya meets her heroes (D*LUX), 6/28 Landon Maddix cashes in MITB and wins the World Title!, 6/28 ~~DISC 3~~ ~Another Red Hot Summer~ COD visit the (Love) Doctors, 7/5 THR clash with Holly, 7/5 PRL crashes Landon's celebration ceremony, 7/5 Landon tries to cut a deal with SCM, 7/12 (EASTER EGG) Wall vs. Heat, 24/7 Title, + Riggs ruining the party, 7/12 AngleSlam contract signing, 7/12 THR vs. LSGS, Last Man Standing, 7/19 Moneymaker prepares Jade for B&P, 7/19 The BHB discover Molly Nerdly, 7/26 Cortez explains leaving Landon's side, 8/4 Tag Title Scramble Cage Match, 8/4 Enterprise promo, 8/9 BHB and CPA vs. 'Los Ninos Anorexicos', 6-Man Titles, 8/9 Alix/Leon segment, 8/9 (EASTER EGG) Krista vists her lawyer, 8/9 CW and Moneymaker vs. COD, Tag Titles, 8/16 Maddix vs. Cortez, World Title, 8/16 PRL and Landon put their women to the test, 8/23 Lindsay vs. Megan, Women's Title, 8/23 THR and Abdullah in 'heaven', 8/31 School Haze, 8/31 Zero Hour's main event made, 9/6 Maddix and PRL vs. Zack, 9/13 Landon and PR try to get along, 9/13 (EASTER EGG) Alf vs. Brock vs. TK vs. Stevens, 9/20 Riggs vs. Heat, Title vs. Title, 9/20 Maddix and Zack vs. PRL, 9/20 Landon and Zack try to get along, 9/20 (EASTER EGG) Leon and Maggie return from Booyah City!, 9/27 AS announces the 24/7/X Title merger, 9/27 ~~DISC 4~~ ~Winter Of Our Discontent~ Landon interrupts Zack, 10/5 THR and Holly explain their actions, 10/5 BHB vs. Love Docs, 10/5 Popick lays down the law to PRL, 10/11 Alf, Strutter, Reject and Team Heyross vs. Sandman, TK, Brock, Jumbo and Denzel, 10/11 Leon vs. Biff, 10/18 When Saulty met Molly, 10/18 Reject vs. Cortez, International Title, 10/18 Maddix/AS discuss Halloween show + Cortez, 10/18 (EASTER EGG) Krista: The Blonde Tornado (+Terry Taylor), 10/25 Zack vs. Popick, 10/25 Denzel vs. Reject, The Title Change The Wasn't, 11/8 Popick/PRL/Landon segment, 11/8 Landon vs. PRL + Bo's return, 11/8 Love Shack goes 'Springer' with COD and Mackie, 11/8 Sandman9000 vs. Reject, Heartland Title, 11/15 Reel Talk's HD debut, 11/15 Alix moves out, 11/15 Thanksgiving Tag Team Survivor Series Match, 11/22 Thanksgiving foodfight, 11/22 (EASTER EGG) Landon, PRL and Popick vs. Zack, Bo and Cortez, 11/22 The Lightning Crew betray PRL, 11/30 Team Alix vs. Team Krista, 11/30 Jade and D*LUX clean Krista's house, 11/30 (EASTER EGG) Bo and Zack start their friendly rivalry, 12/6 Boricua and Wall vs. Heat and Fly, The Corporate Turncoat, 12/6 Krista's mom drops in, 12/6 Reject vs. Denzel vs. Strutter vs. Sandman, International Title, 12/6 THR vs. Los Diablos, Tag Titles, 12/13 Landon in The Love Shack, 12/13 PRL vs. Cappa, 12/13 PRL/Cappa backstage, 12/13 (EASTER EGG) Krista vs. Lucius, 12/20 Strutter vs. Denzel, International Title, 12/20 Alix and CW vs. CAE, 12/28 An Unhappy Cucarannukah, 12/28 Reel Talk with Bo and Zack, 12/28 BHB vs. Zack and Bo, 12/28 COACH Many more shows like this and we're fucked for a Best Of 2008. COLE What? COACH What?

"Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco hits as we return to HeldDOWN~! in Birmingham. The red carpet is out and treading it is one, not both, of the Beverly Hills Blonds. Simon Singleton is not quite a singleton on the stage though, as trekking behind him on his way to the ring is Molly Nerdly, carrying with her the trusty Siclopse. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by MOLLY NERDLY! Weighing two hundred, twenty five pounds and hailing from Beverly Hills, California... representing The Enterprise... "BOX OFFICE"... SSIIIIIIMMOOOOOOOOOONN... SSSIIIIIIIINNGGLLLLEEEEETTOOOOOOOONN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Simon aids his unpaid intern in getting the Siclopse properly set up to his liking, before he slides into the ring. But it's not Simon the fans care about tonight though. As opposed to any night, I guess, but work with me. "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE That reaction can only mean one thing! That one thing being the entrance of Jamie O'Hara, to a roaring reception that drowns out "Fix Up, Look Sharp" and rivals any reaction O'Hara has probably heard in his life. J-OH is taken aback for a moment before firing up and striding to the ring fist-pumping with his bretheren. BUFFER And his opponent... from BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Weighing in at one hundred, seventy six pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY"... JJJAAAAAAAAMMMIIIIIEEEEEEE... OOOOO'HHHAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE What a great reaction for the returning hero, Jamie O'Hara, Birmingham's own! COACH And what a surprise that AngleSault's stuck one of The Enterprise against the hometown boy. O'Hara vaults into the ring and scales the turnbuckles to fire up the crowd some more, before somersaulting back into centre ring. *DINGDINGDING!* "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" As the partizan crowd are whipped up by O'Hara, we see Molly Nerdly pressing the 'mute' button on the Siclopse to a thumbs up from Singleton. COLE Ned Blanchard, we are just hearing, has been barred from ringside for this match. He will not be a factor in this match. COACH Gee, I wonder who made that decision? COLE Well, AngleSault, obviously. O'Hara and Simon circle before lunging into a collar and elbow tie-up. Quick side headlock from Singleton earns a chorus of boosand sets the tone for the match for sure. O'Hara escapes with some shots to the ribs and sends Simon off, only to get knocked down with a shoulder tackle. "Rolling cameras", Simon hits the ropes again but O'Hara kips-up and takes him over with an armdrag! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Referee Mike Chioda backs Jamie up as Simon ducks through the ropes. COLE Singleton going to have to try and slow this match down, which is going to be easier said than done. It's hard enough to catch O'Hara on a bad day, but with the adrenaline of his hometown crowd cheering him he may be uncatchable! After getting his head in the game, Singleton weaves back inside and encourages his opponent to 'settle down'. Not an option, as another chant goes up for O'Hara. The two circle and lock-up again. This time Singleton comes out of it with the arm, wringing it into a hammerlock. O'Hara looks high and then low for an escape but Singleton keeps him in the hold. O'Hara drops and rolls to escape, coming out with a wristlock of his own. But a quick knee to the gut doubles him over. Clubbing forearm to the back. And a second. Simon then sends O'Hara off with an irish whip and ducks his head for a backdrop. Telegraphing it, O'Hara turns and goes back to back, getting flipped up and over onto his feet. As Singleton turns around, O'Hara then surprises him with a big hurricanrana takeover! A quick dropkick then sends Simon rolling to the floor. O'Hara gets the Birmingham crowd behind him again and as Simon pulls himself up on the outside, the SuperJay is on the move, hitting the ropes... but Singleton gets the HECK out of dodge and forces O'Hara to think twice about his dive! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Smart thinking from Si'. COLE O'Hara needs no second invitation to take to the air and Simon's going to have to watch the skies tonight. Molly leaves her post at the Siclopse to offer Simon her support. The unpaid intern proves as much of a nuisance to Simon as everybody else at the moment though and he shrugs her off. Simon climbs back to the apron, but soon goes back down to the floor as O'Hara baseball slides the legs out... *THUD!* ...leaving Simon to crash face-first into the ring apron! COLE Look out again! The crowd rise as O'Hara sticks his foot on the gas again. Stuck in the line of fire, Molly Nerdly looks up in shock as O'Hara takes flight... ...and Molly pulls the Siclopse to safety, but not Si[i]mon[/i], who's left to move on his own power. O'Hara catches himself on the way over the top and lands safely on the apron, dropping a simple double axehandle on Simon as he takes his eye off the action. Turning Simon around, Jamie scoops him up and slams him on the outside. J-OH lets out a cheer, reciprocated by the crowd, climbing to the ring apron... AND HITTING A SHOOTING STAR PRESS OFF THE APRON!!! COLE OH MY!! "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" After some celebrations with his fans, O'Hara dumps Singleton back inside and follows with a cover... 1... 2... No! COLE High-risk, that's what Jamie O'Hara is all about. COACH And it's pretty spectacular, when it works. But when it doesn't you're in trouble. O'Hara rocks Simon against the ropes with a series of forearms before looking for the whip. A reversal by Simon sends O'Hara off instead, but he reacts and connects with a flying forearm. Leg hooked... 1... 2... No! Hooking The Video Voyeur up, Jamie sends another shout-out and looks for a suplex. Simon blocks the attempt twice though, then reverses and snap suplexes O'Hara over. COACH There we go Simon. Show them how they make 'em in the US! COLE Simon Singleton the patriot? Never thought I'd see the day. With the opening for the first time, Simon pins O'Hara's head to the canvas and drops a knee to the cheekbone. O'Hara rolls away into a corner, followed closely by Simon. An elbow to the cheekbone stuns O'Hara. Another. And a third. Singleton then pulls O'Hara out, into a quick saito suplex. Cover... 1... 2... No. Rear chinlock applied by BOSS. It doesn't stay applied for long though, as O'Hara bridges up and connects with a Jawbreaker! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Hitting the ropes, O'Hara goes for a spinning front kick but misses the mark. Simon avoids the kick and lays in wait for J-OH, catching him turning around with a Single Feature Flapjack! Quick cover again by Simon... 1... 2... Kickout. Still nursing his jaw, O'Hara is pulled to his feet. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A knifedge chop rocks Jamie back on his heels and Simon turns to the outside, informing Molly that we're "going for a re-take". Unfortunately though, the single feature does not become a double. Simon is caught with his head down, kicked in the shoulder blade. O'Hara then turns for the ropes again... and is pulled down by the back of his vest top. COLE Not quick enough on that occassion. Simon stands over O'Hara and "rolls cameras", distracting him as O'Hara suddenly kips-up. Backflipping, O'Hara hooks his feet around Simon's head and tucks forward, pulling him over with a headscissors! COLE Spoke too soon! COACH That can go on the cutting-room floor. Totally irrelevant to the plot. Staggering to his feet, Singleton is clearly unsure of where he is as he reaches out looking for a tag from the non-existant Ned Blanchard. Instead he gets tagged by the boot of O'Hara, as he connects with a standing spinning heel kick! Simon wobbles but stays on his feet, until J-OH hops up onto his shoulders and pulls him over with a Victory Roll... 1... 2... Kickout! O'Hara rolls back, right by the ropes. He pulls himself through to the apron and with a cry of "LEMME HEAR YA BIRMINGHAM", he leaps to the top with a Springbo... NO! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cutting O'Hara off, Simon manages to lunge himself at the top rope at the precise moment O'Hara's feet rested on them. O'Hara ends up falling stomach first across the top rope and there he stays. With the wind knocked out of him, O'Hara is then powerless to react as Singleton hooks the head and lifts Jamie off the ropes, pulling a page out of his tag team partner's playbook with a Slingshot Suplex!! COACH An ode to Ned! Simon turns over and hooks up both legs to stack Jamie up... 1... 2... NO! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE O'Hara staying in this one! COACH For now. Just a suspicion of doubt for the audience before the hero ultimately triumphs in the end, classic filmmaking. COLE So, in your mind, Simon Singleton is the hero!? Good lord. Molly gets on the referee's case while Simon gives the signal for the end. He drags O'Hara to his feet, scooping and slamming him in the centre of the ring. Simon then exits the ring and heads up top to the sounds of thousands of Birmingham locals encouraging O'Hara to get out of the way. "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" Reaching the top, Singleton waits until he's perfectly in shot and gets the thumbs up from Molly before he takes off to bring down the Clapboard... ...NOBODY HOME!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Misses the legdrop! Jarred from the impact of the landing, Simon hobbles forward into a sweep of the legs from O'Hara. Leaping over the body, O'Hara hits a quick Standing Moonsault. 1... 2... No! Jamie jumps right back to his feet, following up with a Standing 450 Splash and hooking the leg... 1... 2... NO! COLE Momentum is building here, O'Hara needs one good connection on an aerial move. Exiting to the apron again, O'Hara waves Simon back to his feet. The Video Voyeur walks right into his path this time, the hometown boy springboarding to the top and wiping Singleton out with a Springboard Somersault Seated Senton! He's unable to stay on for the cover though, so heads across the ring and waits on Singleton to get back up again. COLE O'Hara is setting Singleton up for something. COACH Great work Sherlock. Simon pulls himself back up and is warned by Molly of what awaits him. Whether he hears her or not isn't clear, as he stumbles towards O'Hara, charging in and throwing a Busaiku knee... NO! Sidestepping, Simon catches O'Hara in a waistlock and throws him overhead with a German... ...but O'Hara LANDS ON HIS FEET! COLE What agility! After a quick realisation all is not well, Simon turns around and gets wiped out with the Busaiku Knee Kick! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Singleton flops to the canvas and O'Hara quickly exits to the ring apron. The Birmingham fans erupt as O'Hara heads to the top, despite the attempts from Molly Nerdly to wave him off. The Birmingham Bad Boy makes it to the top and sets himself, Simon in perfect position, as O'Hara comes tumbling down... *WHAM!* "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE BLAZE OUT 630!! 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winner of the match... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMIIIIIIEEEEE OOO'HHHHHAAAAAARRRRRRAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Rolling right out of the ring, O'Hara hops the barricade to celebrate the win with his people, footage which Molly clearly doesn't feel is important as she turns the Siclopse away. COLE Jamie O'Hara returns home with a big win. And this crowd couldn't be happier! COACH Oh and I'm sure AngleSault is delighted too. You can't tell me this wasn't set up to spite The Enterprise. You can't tell me this doesn't prove everything Mister Moneymaker has said has been right. COLE All I can tell you is the hometown boy done good here in Birmingham! COACH Ugh! O'Hara continues to celebrate in the crowd as we fade away.

Oh dear god. Please do not use the high and mighty "I'm above you people intellectually" act again after this. Not gonna cut it. The closest you're ever going to get to this is Bill Watts' performance related contracts in WCW, or whatever the real story was, can't remember off the top of my head.

[b]"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"[/b] [i]...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM*[/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, here comes the... well, the co-number one contender, I suppose. The Birmingham fans give Landon Maddix a typically rude reception as he walks through the entrance way, but it's clear that he couldn't care less tonight. With a beaming smile on his face Landon soaks up the adulation inside his head for a moment or two, before striding to the ring boasting of his newly won place in the School's Out main-event. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With Megan catching up to her man and holding the ropes open for him, Landon lets the boos of the crowd breeze right past him. He spins into the ring and strikes a triumphant pose, indicating that he's 'number one'. Number one, co-number one, same thing I guess. COLE Landon set for another of his open challenges which, so far, haven't troubled the membership numbers of Cucaracha Internacional. Hardly the kind of prepation you'd expect from a number one contender. COACH Hey, you're looking at the busiest man in pro-wrestling! Give him a break. COLE The what? COACH Busiest man in wrestling. Landon's got his commitments for the OAOAST, he's in charge of moulding Cucaracha Internacional into the stars of tommorrow, he's the Commissioner of the SWF. The guy spends more time in airports than your average airline pilot! Hell, last week he was in Nova Scotia on Tuesday for an SWF show, then jumped right on a plane and flew to Italy for The Milan Spectacular on Friday... and he STILL beat Todd Cortez! COLE By disqualification. Back in the ring and Landon, to the disdain of the crowd, has got the STICK~ MADDIX School's Out is just two and a half weeks away... "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COACH What the hell does that have to do with School's Out!? MADDIX If you people don't quit that right now, I'll make sure we never bring the SWF over here! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Okay, done. Now, back to School's Out, which as I said before is just two and a half weeks away. Incase any of you missed it here in the backwaters of the United Kingdom, there has been a change to your originally scheduled programming. See, as of last week, I'm back where I belong! Back in the main event. Todd Cortez may well be the 'official' number one contender. But since he failed to defeat me last week, he's still a member of Cucaracha Internacional. His Riot Act Plus is still banned in the OAOAST. And he's going to be sharing his number one contendership with the man who made it all possible... me! COLE Which is all a travesty if you ask me. COACH I'm not sure I did. MADDIX Now I could spend the next five... maybe ten minutes talking about what a great job I did last week, how I beat Todd Cortez one on one yet again, just like I did at AngleMania, just like I did in Hawaii last year, et cetera, et cetera. I could claim that the victory was all down to me. But I would be remiss if I didn't thank somebody else. That somebody else being our very own World Heavyweight Champion, Tha Puerto Rican. "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Landon scowls a little. MADDIX PR, when I first saw you sitting at ringside yapping away into your mic as you tend to do, I'm not afraid to admit I was a little worried. Maybe I should have given you more credit. Another startling revelation for you all... Tha Puerto Rican is not as dumb as he looks, ladies and gentlemen. Underneath the catchphrases and the... more catchphrases, there is productive thought going on inside of that head. See, I was worried for no reason. PRL thought it through, he thought all the connotations and all the different scenarios through. And PRL, you made the right choice. I'm sure, deep down underneath this new nice-guy persona of yours, you know you made the right choice. Although, you'd never admit it. COLE Wait, is Landon saying that PRL deliberately got Cortez disqualified at the Milan Spectacular!? COACH Makes sense to me. MADDIX PR, the good news is, you won't have to worry about Todd Cortez and the Riot Act Plus at School's Out now. Of course, the bad news is, now you have to worry about me instead. Need I remind you that one of the reasons it took you so damn long to finally become World Champion is me? Need I remind you of AngleSlam? Or of Zero Hour? "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" MADDIX I've spent far too long caught up in something that should have been settled a long time ago. I tried to take the soft approach with Todd Cortez. A mistake. Look where it's gotten me. Nowhere. So now, I'm taking control of the situation. Come what may. Cortez, if this past week has proven anything, it's that you will follow my lead or suffer the consequences. No more false trust, no more second chances. You follow MY lead. And PR, get all the mileage out of your time as World Champion that you can. It's been a long road to the top. But now that I'm back in title contention, I can promise you it won't be a long stay there for you. Landon smiles, Megan applauding her man. MADDIX Now, with that out of the way, back to tonight. Over the past few weeks I've been offering up the chance to a lucky local wrestler to make themself a star at my expense. The chance of a lifetime. One, to meet Landon Maddix. Two, to wrestle Landon Maddix. Three, to compete on worldwide television. And four, the chance to join Cucaracha Internacional should they beat me. But so far, lo and behold, nobody's beaten me. Nobody's even come close! "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" Looking confused, Landon turns to Megan who whispers something in his ear. MADDIX Ah. Okay. Well, we'll get to that in a second. Up until now, I've limited the competition to one country. And no country yet has been able to produce someone good enough to beat La Cucaracha, surprise surprise. So, now we come to England and I'm left with a dillemma. Cucaracha Internacional... we already have an Englishman in our ranks. The best English wrestler in the world, Nathaniel Black! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX So, tonight, rather than give someone false hope, I've decided to send a wave of that hope around Europe! Yes. Tonight, the Landon Maddix open challenge has been opened up to ALL of Europe. All of Europe, except Spain, of course. And England. So unfortunately, no Jamie O'Hara. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX No, instead, we reach out to the furthest reaches of Europe. The outer limits, where the OAOAST would never dare venture, or never bother to give any consideration to. Anyone, anywhere. The call was put out and tonight, I will take on not just a city's best, not just a country's best... but Europe's best! So with that in mind, let's bring out my challenger. Come on out, whoever you are, from whereever you are... Landon extends his arms openly to the entrance way... ...until "Know Your Role 2000" hits!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COACH What the hell? PRL isn't from Euro... The cheering from the Birmingham crowd quickly dies down a little, the moment that a masked man walks through the entrance way. Landon, who had looked pretty confused up until now, smiles a little. Stopping at the top of the stage, the man in a blue, white and red mask stops and "smells the electricity". The masked man's tights carry the flag of the Czech Republic, as does the back of his shoddy mask. COLE Oh my... it's... it's Tha Czech Republican!! COACH *slaps forehead* As 'Tha Czech Republican' walks to the ring in a very PRL manner, Landon watches on in amusement. Shaking his head he applauds mockingly as TCR stops and takes another smell of the mild electrical current in the air. COACH Look, Landon knows! He knows that's PRL under that mask and anyone with half a brain knows the same! COLE I don't know... is PRL that tall? COACH He's probably wearing extra insoles. It'd be about the most effort he'd have gone to to disguise himself as well. This is... just embarrassing! Up the steps climbs 'Tha Czech Republican', stepping into the ring and scaling the turnbuckles on one side with an arm raised. He doesn't go for any of the other turnbuckles however, as Landon Maddix stands in his way. 'Tha Czech Republican' sets himself ready for Landon to attack. But the co-number one contender holds up a hand to tell the masked man to calm down. "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" 'Tha Czech Republican' turns his head to the crowd. MADDIX You have got to be kidding me. You're not even trying! Landon looks at the gear that his 'rookie' opponent is wearing, trying not to laugh. MADDIX Lemme guess. Tha Czech Republican, right? Reaching into his tights, Tha Czech Republican pulls out a fake eyebrow and sticks it to the spot of velcro on his mask over his right eye. COLE HAHAHAHAHAHA! COACH *slaps forehead* MADDIX I... oh, wha... okay! Okay PR, go ahead and humour me! We can all guess your name and I'm going to assume you're from whatever the capital of the Czech Republic is. Formalities, done. Now, if I know anything about Tha Czech Republican, I'm SURE you've got some snappy catchphrases that you wanna unload on me. So go ahead. I'm just DYING to hear this authentic Czech accent of yours, I really am. Say 'jabroni'. Go on. No, no, better yet, how about telling me you're going to, oh, I don't know, "lay the Czech down on my candy ass". Come on, don't be shy. No response from Tha Czech Republican and no move for the microphone. MADDIX Come on PR, it's not like you to be at a loss for words. Still no response. MADDIX Well, maybe you do things a little differently in The Czech Republic, I apologise. Here I am hogging the microphone. I really should be giving it to you, shouldn't I? Well, here goes... Having strolled across the ring while talking, Maddix suddenly charges with the microphone brandished and goes for the head of Tha Czech Republican. But the masked man ducks, catching Maddix as he turns around with a boot to the gut... ...pulling him into a standing headscissors... "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Wait... WAIT, NO! ...AND SPIKING HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH A FRONTFLIP PILEDRIVER TO A BOOMING REACTION IN THE ARENA!!!! COLE ...CZECH REPUBLICAN DESTROYER!!! COACH NO! That's... THAT'S TODD CORTEZ!! COLE A minute ago you said it was PRL! Make up your mind! Maddix lays stricken on the canvas, with Megan wide-eyed in horror at what has just happened. Calling over the referee, Tha Czech Republican flips Landon over on his back and hooks a leg... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Megan holds her head in her hands as "Know Your Role 2000" hits again, Tha Czech Republican standing over Landon who is completely out of it! BUFFER Here is your winner of the match... THA CZECH REPUBLICAN!!!! COACH THAT'S TODD CORTEZ! IT'S TODD CORTEZ!! GAAAHH!! Standing over Landon, Tha Czech Republican has dropped the PRL tribute act and stands stoicly over La Cucaracha. With no signs of movement from the co-number one contender, the masked man takes one last long look at Landon before he leaves. COLE You know what this means Coach? This means that Tha Czech Republican is the newest member of Cucaracha Internacional! COACH He's already a member because [b]HE'S TODD CORTEZ[/b]!!!!! Megan slides into the ring and tries to revive Landon, who is still yet to move. COLE What was that you were saying about 'half a brain' earlier Coach? COACH Shut up.

COLE We saw Jock Mulligan stoop to an even lower level last week at The Milan Spectacular, with his actions on The Love Shack. After interrupted Maggie Nerdly, Jock managed to raise the ire of the usually mild-mannered Leon Rodez and it all broke down there. Leon was left laying and Maggie was humilated, thanks in part to the arrival of... well, a woman we'd never seen before. Since no OAOAST reporter wanted the job of talking to 'Mr. Dick', we allowed Jock to record some comments for himself. But first of all, let's take you back to The Love Shack and show you what happened. [quote=MILAN SPECTACULAR]JOCK Listen Leon, I'm gonna say this to you real nice since as you said we go back a little way. I used to be that guy. But the Jock Mulligan you knew is GONE. That Jock Mulligan is gone. That Jock Mulligan was a pussy... (looks at Melody) ...and everybody knows, if you want success in this world, dicks can get places that pussies don't. That where I come in. I'm not just a dick, I'm Mr. Dick now. And I'm heading for success in this world, the success that I deserve to have! ****** JOCK Apparantly, I said that you weren't good for anything. Must have been in the heat of the moment. Because, now that I think about it, you are good for something... and that's opening your legs! Isn't that right, Leon!? MELODY :o ****** LEON You know, I think I speak for everybody when I say I've heard enough out of you Jock. So, I suggest you do us all a favour, turn tail, go dry yourself off for crying out loud and do whatever it is 'Mr. Dick' does of a night. Because, if you want to turn this into a dick-waving contest with Silky Smooth, I promise you it will not end well for you! COLE You tell him, Leon! Not appreciating being stood up to, Mr. Dick points a finger in Leon's face before turning and leavi... NO, Jock fakes Leon out and runs at him... BUT LEON CUTS HIM OFF WITH A SPEAR!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE HERE WE GO!! Leon and Jock go at it on the mat, exchanging lefts and rights with Leon on top. Still clearly torn Melody looks on for a few seconds, before deciding she should step in and trying to pull Leon off of Jock. But before she can do so, suddenly somebody slides into the ring and pulls her off of Leon. Melody is shocked and pretty soon she's fighting for breath, as the muscular woman who's slid in holds her in a rear choke, keeping her subdued. Leon finally notices Melody is trouble and tries to get over and help her... ...BUT JOCK LAYS HIM OUT WITH A CLOTHESLINE TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! COLE Who the hell is that woman!? Where did she even come from!? COACH If you don't know that by now, you're in more trouble than I thought Michael. The hysterical Melody is held back and forced to watch as Jock stomps him down until he's no longer moving. Jock turns over the seats onto his fallen body, then lays another boot to the back of the head. Jock then walks over to the desk, picking up what's left of Leon's pizza. He takes a slice, thinking about taking a bite... but doesn't want to ruin his physique with junk food, so instead SMUSHES THE PIZZA INTO THE FACE OF MELODY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE You dirty motherfu... COACH HEYHEY! Seeing this gives Leon a small burst of adrenaline, but too small to do anything. Jock kicks him back into grogginess before pulling him to his feet. The big Texan hoists Leon up onto his shoulders and sets him up, throwing him up in the air and bringing him down across both knees, as he did to Moracca earlier! COLE This is reprehensible! With Leon down and hurting, Jock calls the powerful woman off of Melody and she throws her to the canvas. Jock and the mysterious woman then leave, with Jock taking a look back in pride at what he's done. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Tears streaming down her cheeks, Melody crawls over to Leon with cheese and tomato puree still on stuck on her face and tries to check he's okay, taking a look back at Jock who just laughs at her.[/quote] Out of that footage we go to pre-recorded footage, with Jock Mulligan stood in front of a grey OAOAST backdrop at some unspecified location, but apparantly not in Birmingham, England. Standing beside Jock is the same woman who woman-handled Melody last week, stood emotionless with arms folded. JOCK Ah, Melody, Melody. Poor lil' Melody, huh? You know, I'm copping a lot of heat off of OAOAST management right now for what I did back in Milan. Everybody's got their panties in a twist about how ol' Jock Mulligan humilated her in front of the world. And, to be honest, I don't get it. I mean, anybody who talks to the Nerdly family knows, last week sure weren't the first time Melody's been called 'pizza face' in her life! She should be used to it by now! Mr. Dick laughs it up, looking over to the woman who barely cracks a smile. JOCK So, the OAOAST, they don't want Mr. Dick to penetrate the airwaves this week. But they do want an explanation. How's this for an explanation... I FELT LIKE IT! Mr. Dick points a finger into the camera lens. JOCK I ain't got no apologies, 'cause I'm Mr. Dick! Melody stepped into that ring determined to bawl her little eyes out, to make out like she's the most innocent girl in the world and how she was wronged by me. So, all I did was give her something to cry about. And it worked, huh? Leon Rodez? You stuck your nose in Mr. Dick's business and you got what you deserved as well. This is none of your business pal! This is between me, Melody and what's left of Baron Windels. You're every bit as bad as Melody though. Just like her, you make out like you give a damn about me in front of the people. The people are getting conned. Leon, read my lips. You ain't my friend and you never were. The only reason you ever hitched your cart to the Lone Star bandwagon was because of Melody, not because of me. And we all know why that is, don't we? Jock laughs to himself. JOCK Now, you want a piece of Mr. Dick at School's Out? Man, you ain't gonna get a piece. With Mr. Dick, you gotta go the whole nine... INCHES! Turning back to the intimidating woman at the side of shot, Jock laughs to himself again. JOCK Now, you want an explanation about who this is? The people that matter already know. See I came to the realisation long ago that Melody Nerdly wasn't the woman to take Jock Mulligan to greatness and goodness. She's just a stupid little girl. And I'm Mr. Dick. The only woman strong enough... powerful enough... DOMINATING enough to handle Mr. Dick is this woman right here. The ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns. This right here is MALAYSIA NERDLY! Did you really doubt she was a Nerdly? No. Okay, moving on. JOCK Forget about Melody, Maggie, Molly, all the others. You're looking at the alpha female, to go with the alpha male. Malaysia is nothing like the other Nerdlys because she's a REAL woman! She's the woman for Mr. Dick. She's everything that you ain't Melody. And she's sick and tired of being the outcast, just because she's not 5 foot nothing and struggling to hit 110 on the scales. Screw that. Mr. Dick wants a woman that's not gonna snap in half in between his legs! And Melody, don't think Malaysia doesn't remember the way you Nerdlys used to tease her. The mocking. The whispers behind her back. Monster. Freak. The first sign of emotion from Malaysia creeps out as she growls at that word, as if it's conjoured up a bad memory in her head. JOCK Well you turned her into that freak. And now you've gotta deal with her. I'm used to women calling Mr. Dick freak so I reckon we're gonna get along just fine. The rest of the OAOAST? Well, I ain't so sure! Jock smiles confidently, patting the glaring Malaysia on the shoulder as we go back live. COACH Pay up. COLE What? COACH I bet you $20 last weekend that she'd turn out to be a Nerdly. Rolling his eyes, Michael eventually reaches into his pocket and hands Coach his twenty dollars. COLE As always, the OAOAST would like to apologise for some... most of Jock Mulligan's comments. Just a permanent lack of class. But what about what we just heard, [i]Malaysia[/i] Nerdly? The way she physically woman-handled her own sister last week in Milan, I'd be very worried if I were a female in the OAOAST and Melody Nerdly in particular. COACH I won't make the obvious joke about you actually being a female in the OAOAST for another $10... oh, wait, nevermind.

ANOTHER PUNK BURIAL OMGDZ~! Surprise roll-ups = burial.

I thought his gimmick was advertising whatever PPV there is this month by wearing it's t-shirt? Eh, I guess he can have two gimmicks.

Hey, I'm not complaining. I think IL's match was ultimately better. But, darn it, this thing was seventeen pages long. I had to do something with it. Plus, I do love that flour power spot. Oh no, I understand. I've been there before, many times. For what it's worth... Both matches were really enjoyable reads. If anything, I found your match a little easier on the eye, if only because your layout is closer to mine than IL's. Not that IL's is wrong, just that I can't do big blocks of text without needing to break it up. Anyway, your match was all entertaining and I liked the set-up in the early going with IL eager to get out and take the fight to the floor at the first opportunity. What probably swung it was the direction. The backstage brawl and highspot ending were all perfectly well done, but maybe didn't fit the World Title main-event spot the same way IL's match did. Had it been a Hardcore Gamers Title match the decision would have been even tougher I think. Still, glad you posted it because it is well worth the read.

Name: Mr. Dick Alias: Jock Mulligan (real name), the Cocky Prick, Dickzilla, the Human Hard On Age: 24 Height: 6'4" Weight: 238 lbs. Hometown: San Antonio, Texas Alignment (heel, face, tweener): Heel Stable affiliation (if any): None Wrestling style (brawler, cruiserweight, technical, all-rounder, etc.): All-rounded. Isn't a crazy high-flier, but has deceptive agility for someone his size. Theme music: My Dick Entrance Style (what color pyro, spotlights, etc.): Simple really. Walks out, maybe admires his physique, maybe being a dick to the crowd, maybe Malaysia's there, maybe hmm, maybe bleh. Entrance attire (sunglasses, robe, jacket, etc): Nope. Yes! A glittering white cowboy hat. Ring attire: White short shorts/chaps with red heart emblazoned on crotch and a sort of a see through backside with the word “DICK” written across. Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2): Cock Block- Double Knee Gutbuster Signature Moves (ex: Shining Wizard, Rolling Germans, etc.): Cock Shock- Inverted Atomic Drop followed with a Clothesline From Hell Just Being A Dick- Headbutt to the groin Pure Penetration- Diving Full Nelson Slam Discus Punch Stiff Kick- Mafia/Yakuza Kick Bite My Giant Dick- Corner Crossbody Block. Replacement for the BUTT bump, now used by Baron. Basic moveset: Nothing too flashy, he's got a very old school type of style and vibe about him. But he has the odd moment of agility and athleticism. Manager/valet/sidekick: Malaysia Nerdly (who's stats will be up soon!) Catchphrases/Trademark gestures: "Are you man enough to handle the Dick?" History/Background/Career Highlights: Arrived as part of The Lone Star Gunslingers with partner Baron Windels. Thanks to a foolish, libido spurred decision to add Melody(and her enormous breasts! LOL!) as their manager, the Lone Star Gunslingers, became a strange amalgamation of sixties masculine cowboy ideals, and the fantasy scenster boyfriend of Melody. Amazingly enough, the world's laziest woman managed to turn herself into a competent manager and turn The Gunslingers into a driving force in the tag team division. It all culminated on January 3rd, when they won the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships. However, relations soured after the cowboys dropped the belts. Upset at being seen as the 'junior' member of the team, Jock grew bitter towards Baron for being over-protective and towards Melody in general. Just when differences seemed to have been patched up, Jock snapped on the "House Of Worship" and threw Baron through a stained glass window of the set, solidifying himself as a dick. Far from offended at the slur, Jock prides himself on not just being 'a' dick, but being 'Mr. Dick'. And now, going solo, he aims to prove himself the superior Gunslinger. Titles Held OAOAST Tag Team Championships - January 3rd, 2008 - February 28th, 2008 (w/Baron Windels)

Long? It's only been going a month. The rest I'll grant you.

His heel turn at Summerslam was one of my favourite bizarre moments ever. I think the guy deserves more credit than he's ever going to get. They hired him as a backstage announcer and stuck him on Heat duty, which he was okay at. Then they turn him heel and stick him as an announcer, then realise he was no good... despite having had him on announce duty for years already and plenty of footage to look through. So then they throw him in the ring, which he did better than he had any right to. They make him Bischoff's lackey, then Vince's lackey, both of which he improved greatly in, to the point that he was actually in the perfect position. So, of course, they then stick him in as Smackdown commentator DESPITE knowing they hated him already, then spent the entire time mocking him on screen because they hated him. Even now he's gone they do it. Good for Coach. I'm sure he'll get a lot more respect at ESPN at the very least.

Ah. Productive comments always welcome. Women's match is finally in, only just been able to get to a damn computer. Weekends.