King Cucaracha

“Coming up we've got a clash of two of the final three of this year's Clusterfuck,” starts Mak Francis, “Hollywood Spike Jenkins and The Maori Badass Va'aiga. These are two wrestlers with some history behind them – The pair fought many times in the old SJL.” “Fought could be an overstatement!” chimes in The Suicide King, “Va'aiga OWNED Spike for much of 2003.” “True, but that's 5 years ago, King,” replies Mak, “And while Va'aiga is bigger and badder than he's ever been before, Spike Jenkins has added a lot to his own game.” PITO SUTE AKILAGI! It ain't good... It ain't good cos you'll get jumped in my hood! PITO SUTE AKILAGI! It ain't good... It ain't good cos you'll get jumped in my hood! With the shouts of Savage ringing out round the arena, Va'aiga steps into the entrance area. Throwing three fast jabs and one big right hook, Va'aiga warms up his boxing skills before throwing his hood back and walking down to the ringside area. The Maori Badass stares down the ringside camera and screams out “SPIKE E MATE!” before rolling into the ring. Funyon shouts his intro down into his own mic, “The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Rotorua, Aotearoa... weighing in tonight at 350lbs... The Maori Badass... VAAAAAAAAA'AAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNNGA!” RAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I hope this is a passing phase. There is no future where I stand, Here with you! The small round of chants for Spike Jenkins are TOTALLY drowned out by loud “VA-ING-UH!” chant, and a smaller “VA'AIGA'S GONNA KILL YOU!” chant. The crowd cam scans round to a few choice signs - “HOLLYWOOD = RATINGS”, “WORLD WHANAU!” and six fans bearing the letters B, O, O, Y, A and H! This is... THE END! And Spike Jenkins walks out into the entrance area. With a cocky smirk he walks down to ringside, Va'aiga fixing a steely glare on his opponent. Spike throws his “Heartless” jacket towards the ring attendant and slides into the ring, posing as Funyon announces, “And his opponent, wighing in at 205 lbs and hailing from Long Island New York... HOLLYWOOOOOOD SPIIIIIIIKE JEEEEEENKIIIIIINS!” before being forced to bail quickly as Va'aiga charges at Jenkins and lays into him with a flurry of punches. “Va'aiga is in a bad mood tonight, King,” comments Mak. “Va'aiga was BORN in a bad mood, Mak.” responds King. Referee Anthony Michael Hall calls for the bell. DINGDINGDING! Spike uses his MMA skills to cover up, avoiding the force of Va'aiga's blows as the Maori throws blow after blow, each one trying to cave a hole in Spike's face. As Jenkins backs away he cleverly grabs hold of the ropes and Referee Hall calls for a break, Va'aiga taking a couple of late shots before backing off. Spike tucks up into a closed fighting stance and advances on the Maori swinging a high leg kick towards his opponent which Va'aiga swats away with his arm. Spike closes the distance and throws a pair of chops into Va'aiga's chest, the Maori grunts and sways forwards but Spike ducks back and away to avoid the headbutt. “Both wrestlers are looking to keep this standing,” remarks Mak, “Spike has the skill edge, but it's hard to get over the size difference. Va'aiga is almost the size of two Spike Jenkins.” The crowd give a little appreciative round of applause. Both men circle each other in the ring, Spike throwing a few loose kicks, more as a judge of the distance than to actually hit. Va'aiga drops back looking for a move with a little range on it himself, Spike counters by charging in and driving his shoulder at the Maori's chest... Va'aiga countering by gracefully stepping to one side and forcing Spike away and down with a stiff arm. “It's hard to shift that much weight,” comments King as Spike scrabbles back to his feet. Closing the distance again, Va'aiga throws his traditional left jab which Spike weaves away from. Spike throws a massive hook kick at the Maori's head which Va'aiga sharply ducks. With his back now to his opponent Spike tries to back in with an elbow but the Maori ducks into position and flips Spike over with a back suplex... unfortunately TOO far over as Spike controls himself in the air and lands back on his feet again! The crowd get another brief round of applause in. Spike plants his feet to compose himself, but Va'aiga is too quick in following up and darts in with the Rugby Tackle! But as Va'aiga tries to rear up and smash Spike's head in The Hollywood Shooter wraps his legs around the Maori's waist and grabs the Maori's head closing into a guard. Va'aiga tries to free up an arm, falling right into a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu trap, Spike locking in an armbar. Va'aiga uses his power to get to his feet, looking to powerbomb Spike but Jenkins uses his flexibility to transition his legs up around Va'aiga's OTHER arm and then shift his weight, sropping down into a crucifix pin! Referee Hall drops to count... ONE! TWO! And Va'aiga kicks out at a short two. “Flash pin attempt with the cruicifx,” adds King, “Doesn't matter how you win, it's IF you win.” With surprising speed Spike gets to his feet and as his massive Maori opponent stands he lashes a roundhouse kick into Va'aiga's ribs. The Maori furls his brow and emits a low growl. Spike comes in with a second roundhouse kick with his opposite leg. Again Va'aiga absorbs the blow with little more than a look of consternation. Spike ducks back and covers up as Va'aiga bull rushes forward throwing blocked punch after blocked punch. Frustrated Va'aiga winds up a bigger punch but as it wildly flies in Spike grabs the arm and twists into a wristlock. Va'aiga muscles the hold round into a top wristlock of his own but Spike athletically cartwheels to reverse the hold back into his own favour. Va'aiga turns his body slightly and just YANKS on Spike's arm, dragging him forcefully into a massive tattooed shoulder. Spike winces from the jarring sensation flowing through his body as Va'aiga grabs a headlock and wrenches in on it for a couple of seconds. “ It's all been fast paced action so far,” Mak comments over the fast paced action. Having decided he's had hold of Spike Jenkins for long enough Va'aiga gives Hollywood a big shove into on the ropes. Jenkins rebounds as Va'aiga shapes for a shoulder and the pair crash together, Spike dropping straight down to the mat. Spike hops back to his feet and rushes the ropes on the opposite side and as Va'aiga shapes again, Spike stops, turns round and hits the Péle Kick! Va'aiga stumbles backwards, stunned while Spike stares out into the audience and taps his forehead. “That's how smart Spike Jenkins is!” shouts The Suicide King. Va'aiga shakes his head a couple of times and as Spike tries to follow up after his celebration he's met full in the face with a VICIOUS headbutt! “Or possibly not!” says King correcting himself. Following up quickly Va'aiga goes quicly for his boxing offense again, lashing into Spike with a right cross and a left jab, again forcing Spike to use his own fighting skills to cover up. This time Va'aiga transitions round to a back waistlock, looking to lift Spike for a German Suplex. Jenkins wraps his legs round the Maori's waist to block the move and go for a quick body scissors roll up but Va'aiga sits straight out, planting Spike down flat on the canvas with an inverted Powerbomb. Va'aiga quickly covers... ONE! TWO! And Spike leisurely kicks out. “Spike Jenkins has a lot of stamina, for a small guy,” remarks King. Spike speeds up to his feet with catlike grace and waits for Va'aiga to get up from his seated position. Spike kicks away into Va'aiga's breadbasket, doubling him up for a second, but Spike dawdles, realising quickly that there's really not a lot suplex-wise he can do with the Maori and Va'aiga composes himself and pushes Spike emphatically away. “You just cannot hope to match power with the Maori, no matter how much finesse you put behind the moves,” comments Mak. “You know what kind of finesse Spike Jenkins needs,” adds King thoughtfully, “A little King style finesse...” And as if he'd heard the words Spike launches himself at the Maori, being careful to check the referee's angle and feigns shooting for another Spear. Va'aiga plants his feet solidly but as Spike rushes in, he slams on the brakes, kneels a little and shocks the Maori with a good old fashioned Greco Roman Nutshot! “...like that!” says King, finishing his thought. A huge round of boos headed at Spike is met by that familiar Jenkins cocky grin as the Hollywood One looks down at his kneeling opponent. Va'aiga's face is still the picture of pain as Spike lashes in roundhouse kicks to Va'aiga's left and right before taking a step back, a deep breath, a second to aim himself and kicking Va'aiga solidly in the head. The whiplash of the impact sends Va'aiga sprawling across the mat and Spike drops down and covers... ONE! TWO! T.. and Va'aiga kicks out. Spike gives a cocky shrug towards the increasingly venom filled crowd as he closes in on his mat-bound victim. Grabbing a firm hold of Va'aiga's leg, Spike twists away at the foot of the Massive Maori, grapevining the leg to make the hold harder to escape. “When the flashy stuff doesn't work,” comments King, “Stick to the fundamentals.” “What would they be for you?” asks Mak “Work a body part, keep to the wrestling basics takedown and hold-wise and cheat like your life depends on it. Which against Va'aiga it may well do in Spike's case.” Desperately trying to lever his way out of the hold, Va'aiga thrusts his leg out repeatedly, simply trying to kick Spike Jenkins off him. Feigning a little weakness Spike allows the hold to be turned partially over and as Va'aiga flips himself over Spike drops the grapevine and lifts Va'aiga's leg off of the mat before driving it back down knee first. Keeping hold of the leg Spike lifts and drives back down for a second, then third time before standing back up, taking a moment to enjoy the pained grimace on the Maori's face and posing a little for the crowd. Their response is emphatic : “JENKINS SUCKS! JENKINS SUCKS!” “Don't listen to the idiots, Spike!” yells King, “concentrate on hurting the Maori!” Not that Spike needed telling as he lines up a kick, placed precisely, Sakuraba style, into Va'aiga's thigh. Va'aiga clutches his leg, possibly affording some uncomfortable cover for it with his hand as Spike fires another kick down into his floored opponent. A third and fourth follow quickly and Jenkins retreats back a couple of paces to take a breather and survey his handiwork. “Keeping a bigger opponent off a vertical base has always been a sound wrestling strategy,” calls Mak. “And if the Maori can't stand – he can't Lariat you, “ adds King. Taking his sweet time before driving home his advantage, Spike backs off slowly to the far ropes, leaning against them to set up a running attack. With a head of steam Spike leaps into the air over the legs of the fallen Maori, crashing down with both feet onto Va'aiga's leg. Spike then immediately jumps into the air again, this time coming down with a leg drop, his leg at right angles to the Maori's. Spike flips Va'aiga over and goes for a back press, lazily covering... ONE! T.. and Spike shakes his head and smiles again, transitioning STRAIGHT down to a leg lock again. Again, as expected the crowd doesn't like it one bit. “The fans are all over Spike Jenkins today,” comments Mak. “You know if wrestling was a popularity contest Va'aiga would win a lot more matches than he does,” quips King, “And if popularity was a wrestling contest he'd have NO FANS AT ALL!” Wrenching back hard on the hold, Spike Jenkins has the Maori in a difficult predicament. Spike's knowing grin wavers as he puts the maximum effort into twisting away at the Maori's leg. Va'aiga rolls his body trying to shake Jenkins free of him but Jenkins' grip is vice like and he rolls himself, keeping the hold solidly locked in. Nearer the ropes, Va'aiga reaches out looking to grasp hold of the bottom rope and Spike struggles and strains to keep his control but with a final body roll Va'aiga gets juuuuust near enough to touch the bottom rope and Spike is asked by Anthony Michael Hall to break. Spike refuses and the count is put on... ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FI.. and Spike releases a split second before Referee Hall would have had to disqualify him. “That was nearly a DQ for Hollywood,” comments Mak incredulously. “Why break any sooner, you've got five!” replies King. Spike doesn't even give a clean break as he stamps away at Va'aiga's leg a few more times before backing away from the ropes. Slowly rising to his feet, The Maori glares at Spike and walks slowly, even by his own standards of slow, back towards his crusierweight opponent. Va'aiga grabs for a free arm and whips Spike with some force into the ropes. Va'aiga fires off an elbow towards where he expected Spike to be headed, but Spike slides down low between the legs of his opponent and simply trips up Va'aiga, sweeping the Maori's legs away with his arms. This time Spike switches up his tactic against his massive opponent, wrenching back on the leg again but this time turning it round and leaning back with a half Boston Crab. “For all his striking prowess, Spike Jenkins is a very solid technical wrestler,” comments Mak. “Shades of Toxxic in how he's dealing with the Maori,” says King approvingly. Referee Hall checks on Va'aiga asking him whether he wants to give up. Va'aiga emphatically shakes his head. Wrenching the hold a little tighter Spike screams out for Anthony Michael Hall to “ASK HIM!” Va'aiga screams out an unsubtle reply : “NO FUCKING WAY!” Spike twists the hold a little tighter again and then twisting his own body round Spike TREADS ON VA'AIGA'S HEAD WITH A FREE FOOT! Possibly as a response to the insult, possibly just because Spike has shifted his weight Va'aiga grunts loudly and powers his way half free of the hold and then kicks Spike off him. With a look of sheer malice in his eyes Va'aiga slowly stands and eyes up his opponent. Spike approaches and swings a low roundhouse kick at Va'aiga's legs again. Expecting the move Va'aiga takes a half step back and deflects the blow with his arm. Spike advances and fires a European uppercut under the Maori's chin. Va'aiga reels back and fires off a left jab. Spike responds with another forearm uppercut. Va'aiga with another punch. Spikes fakes out Va'aiga with another uppercut attempt and then drops into page one of the Ric Flair Book O' Heel Tactics going straight for the eyes. “A blatant eye rake!” hollers Mak Francis. “After a closed fist!” yells King in response, “All's fair in love and pro wrestling, Mak!” With his opponent reeling and temporarily blinded Spike charges again, going low and driving his shoulder back into that knee of Va'aiga. The Maori drops down to one knee and Spike looks out into the crowd, grinning that evil grin. Spike backs off and charges full tilt at the Maori, bouncing off the semi upright knee and driving his foot into the back of Va'aiga's head! “DANGEROUS WIZARD!” calls Mak as Spike drops to cover... ONE! TWO! TH... and Va'aiga rolls a shoulder up. Sensing his opponent is having trouble kicking out Spike pushes the lifted shoulder back down and asks Referee Hall to count again ONE! TWO! And Va'aiga lifts his other shoulder up. Spike stands and takes a moment to consider his options. “JENKINS SUCKS!” is yet again the opinion of the crowd. Taking a kick boxing stance Spike circles round Va'aiga, throwing a wide roundhouse kick over where Va'aiga WOULD be standing up if he were trying. Spike closes in and fires a rapid series of kicks into Va'aiga's leg again before dropping to the mat and flicking through his mental book of MMA holds goes for a heel hook. Spike wraps his legs tight around Va'aiga's and locks his hands around Va'aiga's ankle. Spike twists the hold, torquing Va'aiga's lower leg as the Maori slaps the mat rhythmically, trying to feed off the energy of the crowd. With each block of three slaps on the mat the crowd noise builds to a thunderous “VAH-ING-UH!” chant. Spike shouts out “ASK HIM!” at Referee Hall, who obliges by questioning the Maori on whether he wants to quit. “NO!” is the response “ASK HIM!” shouts Spike again “NEVER!” “VAH-ING-UH!” “ASK HIM!” “NO WAY!” “VAH-ING-UH!” “ASK HIM!” “NOT TONIGHT MOTHERFUCKER!” comes the Maori's final scream as he allows the crowd's support to boost him and with his other legs Va'aiga kicks Spike on the wrist, forcing him to break the hold! Both men stand and Va'aiga is feeling it as he screams “NOKU TE WA!” “It's the Maori's turn now!” translates Mak. Advancing on Spike, The Maori has a full head of steam on and fires lefts and rights at his opponent. Spike ducks and weaves, avoiding what blows he can and as the Maori's assault relents Spike charges in with a knee. Again Referee Hall's view is obscured, but the boos of the crowd and the reaction on the face of Va'aiga makes it VERY clear where Spike hit - “Right in the coconuts, baby!” comfirms The Suicide King. Spike drops immediately to cover again... ONE! TWO! THR.. and Va'aiga again lifts a shoulder. Frustrated, Spike stands up quickly and stomps away at the leg again, trying as much to take it home as a trophy than to actually win the match. Lugging the massive weight of his opponent across the ring, Spike puts Va'aiga's injured leg across the bottom rope and using the top rope for extra height Spike bounces up and stomps again. “JENKINS SUCKS!” And again. “JENKINS SUCKS!” And a third time! “JENKINS SUCKS! JENKINS SUCKS! JENKINS SUCKS!” Spike takes time out to flip off the fans as he picks Va'aiga off the mat by his dreads. “IT'S OVER!” shouts the cocky Jenkins as he grabs the Maori's head and rams it into a standing head scissors. “He's going for the Endwell!” shouts King. Va'aiga's leg buckles as Spike tries to hit the move, stalling Spike's attempt to end the match. Spike hammers down onto Va'aiga's back, pummeling down with his fists but that just causes Va'aiga to buckle and collapse down to the mat. “If Spike Jenkins hits this it's all over!” hollers Mak. Spike again drags Va'aiga up by the dreads and again applys the front facelock... “VAH-ING-UH! VAH-ING-UH!” Spike takes Va'aiga's right arm and bends it into position... “VAH-ING-UH! VAH-ING-UH!” Then his left arm... “VAH-ING-UH! VAH-ING-UH!” Spike jumps a little into the air to get as much impact on the move as possible... AND VA'AIGA STANDS UP BACK DROPPING SPIKE OVER HIS HEAD! Spike stands quickly and spins in looking to knock Va'aiga out clean with his Roaring Elbow... And Va'aiga ducks and flips Spike back to the mat with a super fast Back Suplex! “Who'd know better how to counter a Rolling Elbo than someone who's face off in high profile matches with Danny Williams!” yells Mak. Jenkins hops back up to his feet and charges in at the unsteady Maori, extending his arm and looking for his Lariat... WHICH VA'AIGA CASUALLY SWATS AWAY WITH HIS ARM! VA'AIGA SCREAMS DEFIANTLY! “Who'd know better how to counter the Lariat than a man who calls himself a Master at it!” calls King, with a slight sneer. Still grasping at his leg Va'aiga makes Spike's confidence wither with a glare. Va'aiga grasps at Spike, grabbing a waist lock. Quickly the Maori transitions to a back waist lock, looking for a German Suplex. Instinctively Spike counters to a back waist lock of his own, before dropping to his knees... but as Spike goes for the old Flair Nutshot from behind, Va'aiga grabs him by the wrist and drags poor Spike between his legs and up to his feet. “Shades of VDN vs Revolution Zero,” calls Mak, “That's what happened to Austin Sly when he went to the well one too many times!” Face to face with the enemy Va'aiga scowls and decides to use his head – literally! Headbutt after headbutt rains in on the skull of Spike Jenkins as Va'aiga is just going INSANE on the Hollywood Star. Spike reels away, clutching his face in pain but there's no relief as Va'aiga smashes an enormous left jab into Spike's exposed cranium. The crowd knowing fully what's coming shouts an enthusiastic “ONE!”. Another left jab jars Spike's neck backwards. “TWO!”. A third left jab and now the colour seems to be draining from Spike Jenkins' face along with his confidence. “THREE! OoooooooooOOOOOOAH...” as Va'aiga kisses his right fist and BLASTS SPIKE HALFWAY ACROSS THE RING WITH THE RIGHT HOOK! Va'aiga throws the Shaka Sign from the crowd and as one the fans and The Maori shout “BOO-YAH!” “CLOSED FIST! CLOSED FIST!” screams King! “All's fair in...” is all Mak gets in before King informs him he can “Blow it out your ass, Francis!” Va'aiga limps menacingly (hey it's a 350lb tattoo faced monster – he can do most things menacingly!) towards Spike who is sprawled against the ring ropes. Va'aiga spins Spike round by the throat before LAWN DARTING Spike into the canvas with a massive German Suplex! Spike barely has time to grab breath as Va'aiga hobbles over towards him and Spike finds himself dragged up by the hair himself. This time Va'aiga applies a Full Nelson and again falls backwards, Dragon Suplexing Spike HARD into the canvas! “Va'aiga likes to hit these moves with a roll through normally,” remarks Mak. “Not with his leg in this state, even with his strength.” adds King. Looking down at Spike on the mat Va'aiga thinks about something,maybe a cover, but decides to lift Spike up for a third time. Va'aiga slides his right arm into a half nelson, drags Spike's left arm across his own throat. Spike struggles and splutters, being choked out by his own arm but the release of pressure is no relief from damage as Va'aiga falls backwards and SMASHES Spike back into the canvas with... “THE SWISS SUPLEX!” as Mak shouts! Finally Va'aiga floats into a cover... ONE! TWO! THR.. and Spike barely manages to kick out. Va'aiga howls a primal scream to the crowd who enthusiastically chant “VAH-ING-UH!” again. Slowly getting to his feet Va'aiga turns to face the groggy Spike Jenkins, taking his time to stand for obvious reasons. “Spike is on Dream Street!” yells Mak. “I think he'd be safer on Elm Street!” adds King. Spike turns slowly as Va'aiga struts in, still uncomfortable on the leg, but the Maori still has the strength to dive at Spike's legs, taking him down and with Spike still a little out of it he doesn't have the wherewithal to lock in the guard, and with that extra separation Va'aiga has room to rain down elbows into Spike's face. Va'aiga hooks a leg and covers again... ONE! TWO! THR... and Spike AGAIN just kicks out. Referee Hall backs off as Va'aiga shouts “TAHI! RUA! TORU!” at him, slapping his fist against his palm showing the cadence of count he wants. Va'aiga gets to his feet again and backs up to the ropes. Lumbering forward Va'aiga charges at Spike, extending the arm for the EVIL, NASTY, VICIOUS.... and it doesn't matter about the rest as given Va'aiga's lack of pace Spike EASILY ducks out of the way. Spike responds by spinning round and going for another Roaring Elbow but Va'aiga ducks. Va'aiga swings a punch and Spike ducks. Spike lashes a chop across Va'aiga's chest and Va'aiga ROARS! Spike chops and chops and chops at Va'aiga until the Maori is backed into a corner, but Va'aiga reverses and forces Spike into the corner, smashing the point of his elbow repeatedly into Spike's face AGAIN! “How much punishment can Spike Jenkins withstand?” asks Mak. Va'aiga aims to answer that question quickly, advancing on his cruiserweight opponent and headbutting him again! “When Va'aiga is in a bad mood EVERYTHING he does targets the head.” remarks Mak. “I refer you to my earlier comment about Va'aiga's mental state,” replies King. With his opponent stunned again Va'aiga turns Spike round and lifts him up as if to give him a backdrop. The Maori then sits out and reverses the direction Spike was moving in so the unfortunate Jenkins gets creamed face first into the mat! “THE MAORIBOMB!” calls Mak. “Try not to sound so pleased,” sneers King as Va'aiga drops to cover and Referee Hall slides into position... ONE! TWO! THR... and Spike JUUUUUST lifts a shoulder. Annoyed, well sort of MORE annoyed really, Va'aiga fires punch after punch into the grounded Jenkins. Va'aiga stands up and then falls face first back down again, dropping his head straight onto Spike's! Va'aiga stands again... but this time from somewhere deep inside his soul Spike reaches up and TRAPS VA'AIGA WITH AN INSIDE CRADLE! ONE! TWO! THR... and Va'aiga kicks out! The Parent's Television Council are welcome to write letters of complaint on Va'aiga's reaction to the pinning combination... “MOOOOOOTHERFUUUUUUUUUUUUCKER!” Fuelled with fire and hatred Va'aiga drags Spike roughly to his feet and wraps one of Spike's arms around his own throat! The entire crowd goes briefly silent as Va'aiga racks up Spike looking for his “Oh you've pissed me off!” finisher... but Spike manages to tilt his weight in the rack and Va'aiga's knee gives way, landing Spike in an impromptu pin! ONE! TWO! THR... and Va'aiga kicks out with MASSIVE authority. “Spike looks like he's trying to steal the match!” calls Mak. “Any win is a win. You get the bonus either way,” comments King. Va'aiga stands up slowly and this time Spike seems a little sharper as he turns to look at Va'aiga and charges full pelt at his Maori opposition. Spike extends his arm and catches Va'aiga with a Lariat! “THE LARIAT! THE LARIAT!” shouts King, aping how Mak Francis calls the move when Va'aiga hits it. Va'aiga drops to the mat and Spike goes to cover again... ONE! T... NOT EVEN A TWO COUNT! And Va'aiga is up. And Va'aiga is focused. And Va'aiga is not letting a jumped up little cruiserweight attempt to Lariat DA MAORI go unpunished! Spike is second to his feet, the wear and tear of the match beginning to take it's toll as Va'aiga closes in for the kill shot. The Maori picks up Spike and holds the cruiser across his massive chest. “He's going for the Maori Drop!” screams Mak! Va'aiga backs up two steps... and Spike throws a desperation elbow into Va'aiga's temple. The Maori buckles again on his bad leg and Spike lands in another pinning predicament! Referee Hall again drop to count... ONE! TWO! T.. and Va'aiga kicks out. “You know I think that's the first time Spike's been anywhere near that move and NOT been pinned,” commentates Mak. Spike immediately sense his chance and dives on the fallen Maori, flipping him roughly over and seating himself on the Maori's back. Va'aiga struggles to counter, but Spike reaches down and grabs for the massive Maori skull. Spike traps Va'aiga's arm with his own free arm and pulls back... “THE SILVER LINING!” screams Mak! Spike pulls back as hard as he can and SCREAMS almost begging Va'aiga to tap. “This could be the end,” calls King, “I don't know if the Maori has anything left.” The crowd begin calling again for “VAH-ING-UH!” as Spike applies as much pressure as his 205lb frame can manage. Va'aiga shouts a defiant “NO!” “TAP!” “NOOOOOO!” “VAH-ING-UH!” “TAAAAAAAAAP!” “NOOOOOOOOOO!” “VAH-ING-UH!” “TAP! TAP DAMNIT!” “VAH-ING-UH! VAH-ING-UH!” But grasping from some deep reserve of strength inside Va'aiga slowly gets up to one knee, Spike now clutching on for dear life. “That's the problem with Spike being forced to work Va'aiga's legs – it's not playing into his finisher's strength.” comments Mak. Va'aiga meanwhile slowly... ever so slowly... juuust gets to his feet and falls backwards, crushing Spike underneath his massive weight! Spike's shoulders end up down on the canvas and Referee Hall again drops to count... ONE! TWO! THR... and Spike kicks out! Va'aiga stands slowly again and looks down at Spike Jenkins. Va'aiga looks out into the crowd, a glazed look in his eyes as he throws the Shaka sign and adjusts his forearm tape. His brain off in Never Never Land, Spike Jenkins gets to his feet on instinct alone. Va'aiga stares a hole through his former nemesis. Spike slowly turns to face Va'aiga and gets his head taken off figurateivly and nearly god damn literally with the EVIL, VICIOUS, NASTY, NOW OBSERVE LITTLE CRUISERWEIGHT THIS IS HOW YOU DO A... LAAAAAAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOO! Va'aiga drops to cover... ONE! “THE LARIAT! THE LARIAT!” TWO “It's academic now Mak.” THREE!!!!!!!!! DINGDINGDING! “PITO SUTE AKILAGI! It ain't good.. it ain't good cos you'll get jumped in my hood” And Funyon grabs his mic to complete the formalities - “Your winner by pinfall.. VAAAAAAAAA'AAAAAAAAIIIIIINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Coming back from his coffee run is Landon Maddix, SWF Commissioner, whistling away happily to himself as he opens up the door to his office. Well, his shared office, anyway. As soon as he reaches the door though, his whistling is drowned out by music. And not the kind of music you'd expect to hear the man sharing his office listening to either, but rap music. "The hell..." "Back once again for the renegade master D4 damager, power to the people" Already in the office is General Manager Toxxic, sat at the desk and staring in disbelief at what he's seeing. There in front of the desk is The Dance Dance Dragon, dancing away as his name would suggest. Landon looks from Dragon to Toxxic, then back to Dragon, still none the wiser. "Uh... did I miss something?" Dragon's dancing gets more and more frenetic as Landon, still staring with an odd look on his face, sits down. Swiveling his chair around, he wheels his way over next to where Toxxic is sat and leans over to him. "Back once again for the renegade master D4 damager, with the ill behaviour" "What's this all about?" "Hell if I know." shrugs Toxxic. "He just came in, stuck this sodding rap music on and... well, you tell me what's he's flippin' well doing, you hired the wackjob!" "Did you think to... you know... ask him what he was doing?" "Nah. Seems like he's enjoying himself. Besides, it is kinda entertaining, after a while." "That's why I hired him." answers Landon without a hint of sarcasm. Dragon has still yet to stop dancing and he shows no sign of slowing down in the hope of getting his point across, as the door to the office opens again and Megan Skye walks in. "Back once again for the renegade master D4 damager, power to the people" "...so, anyway, I wanted to suggest something for Battleground, regardi..." "What's this all about?" asks Megan, interrupting. "Oh, you mean the masked Japanese professional wrestler break-dancing in front of two mismatched former professional wrestling people of authority who don't have the foggiest what the hell's going on?" Toxxic quips. "Can't say as I noticed it to be honest. Carry on Landon." "Back once again for the renegade master D4 damager, with the ill behaviour" "Guys, I think he's trying to tell you he wants Wildchild." Suddenly coming to a stop, Dragon turns off the boombox and nods his head encouragingly to Megan. Landon seems more concerned with how the hell Megan solved the mystery rather than the fact it's actually been solved, looking at her with similar confusion to before. "That's what that was?" Landon wonders aloud, Dragon nodding his head. "You know, next time, maybe just write it down or e-mail us or something? Save you a lot of energy." "You can read Japanese!?" asks Toxxic, Landon looking like he's about to answer back but thinking twice on it when he realises he really doesn't have a snappy comeback. "...okay, you want Wildchild. Impressive as all that dancing was, that's not how things work around here I'm afraid. If it was, I'd have probably won twenty titles here, let alone fourteen, but that's really neither here nor there. We'll take it under some advisement and we'll see what happens. I won't deny you've got some impressive wins in the past couple of months, you beating guys like Pretzler and Clark hasn't gone unnoticed. The thing is, you've already had two shots at Wildchild since Genesis... and, okay, you put in some impressive performances. But you didn't win either match, ya know? So like I say, me and my good buddy Toxxic here, we'll talk it over and see what we think. Wildchild's got Taiga at Battleground so obviously it's not going to happen this month. But after that? Who knows. Put it this way, you keep racking up the wins and sooner or later you'll get your shot, okay?" Dragon takes all that in for a second, before scooping up his boombox and walking off. "Man, I hope he understands English, otherwise that speech was a giant waste of time."

We’re back in the Liacouras Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and we just saw the Hardcore match between the Fabulous Jakey and Insane Luchador. The camera scene goes towards the announce table where King and Mak sits there, respectfully waiting for the next match to pop up. “Welcome back to the…” King trails off, looks at Mak and said “Do I really need to say this? I mean, it’s stupid, and I’ve said it all night tonight. “Hey, the boss said we need to say it.” “Does anybody listen to the boss anyway?” King continues to rant. “Just say it…” “No!” “Say it!” “NO!” “SAY IT!” “SEGA!” King finally said which cause Mak to just sit there, not saying a word, wanting to laugh at the same time wanting to smack King for trying to make him laugh. “Ok, don’t say it then. Let’s gets back to the show.” Mak said, actually not arguing with King as he continues. “It’s going to be hard to top the match we just had.” “When you talk about Hardcore there’s a picture of Insane Luchador right next any type of Hardcore saying because it does justice.” King said, still impress of the Hardcore showing Jakey and Insane Luchador delivered. “Jakey…Jakey’s hardcore too, you gotta give Jakey credit.” Mak said defending Jakey’s performance. “True…the match was awesome and when (Technical difficulties) won…I said that was awesome.” King said agreeing with Mak about Jakey. “Speaking of Hardcore, you know we got the princess of Hardcore coming up right now right?” Mak said, already anticipating for the next match. “But that woman made one big mistake, and she called out Annie, now the Queen of Hardcore is back and she’s ready to dish out some bitch slapping with brass knuckles. Taiga got three people gunning for her, Annie, Wildchild, and right now she got to face SIN tonight who is not happy that he’s being overlooked.” King said. “After his last performance, I wouldn’t do that…but there’s something about Taiga, she’s just in another level and is about to face Wildchild for the cruiserweight title, and sooner or later she’s about to go toe to toe with Annie in order to become the top female in the business, I understand why she’s over looking SIN, he’s new, not much experience, but is it smart? I don’t think so.” Mak said, explaining Taiga actions, or lack of. “I think that’s the smartest thing you said in a long time, and I, cautiously, agree with you.” King said. [The lights goes dim, it’s silent for a few seconds when through the loud speaker you hear “I’m SO HOOOOOOOOOOOOD” by DJ Khaled. Then the music stops, it’s quiet again and the arena is still dim, once again the loud speak vibrates the song “Come Home with me” by Cam’ron and the Dipset. There are no pyros, there are no explosions, and the SmarkTron only shows the letters S.I.N. as SIN walks out. Power walking towards the ring, oblivious to all sounds of cheers and mostly boos. He slides in the ring and walks towards the far end of the corner, he turns around and faces the entrance and waits for Taiga. “He doesn’t look to happy.” Mak observed “You think?” King said with a sarcastic tone on his voice. “Be a man” by hole starts to blast through the speakers as thousands of fans gets off from their seats. “I’ve never seen so many dykes in one place I would think this is the national gay parade.” King said, somewhat disgusted although there are a few females that caught his eye. “How do you know about the Gay parade?” Mak said with a smirk on his face. “It’s national; it’s all over the T.V.” King tries to explain. “Yeah, but that means that you actually sat at home and watched it on T.V…hmm, and you talk about me.” Mak said, now the smirk grew wider into a smile. “Don’t get made because you’re unable to get it up.” King said, finishing the little dispute between the two. Taiga is seen now strolling down the ramp, slapping hands with fans who just wants to tough the famous Hardcore dyke…err, I mean the Hardcore princess. She rolls under the ring and pops right back up; SIN just stands in his corner with an evil look in him as if he cannot wait for the bell to ring to get his hands on Taiga for now showing any kind of respect. The referee goes to each one of the combatants and pats them down for a few seconds; he goes towards the middle of the ring and demands for the bell for the start of the match. “And he we go.” Mak said. “Wow, thanks for your insight, I’m pretty sure the fans at home watching this don’t understand what the sound of the bell means.” King said, still a little perturbed about the gay statement from Mak. “Touchy.” SIN and Taiga initiates the standard lock up…as soon as they tie up, SIN shows his strength and throws Taiga to the mat. Taiga looks up and sees that the referee steps in the way of SIN going after Taiga. “Get up bitch” are the words that are coming out of SIN’s mouth as the chorus of boos are being heard all over the arena. “SIN is the stronger out of the two as he shows his strength against Taiga.” Mak said. “You must be an Emmy away announcer because that was just unbelievable; it takes real talent to see what you just saw.” King said, being more aggressive with his sarcasm. Taiga slowly gets up from the mat as they circle the ring again, anticipating for another tie up, they get closer to each other and is about to lock up when SIN kicks Taiga in the gut causing her to double over. A stiff club to the upper back causes Taiga to drop to the mat instantly; SIN starts to kick Taiga in the back as the referee tries to push SIN off of Taiga. Somehow he was successful but when the referee gets pushed out of the way SIN storms towards Taiga who got to one knee at the time. As SIN inches closes he is met with a hard chop to the chest… “WHOOOOOOO” screams the crowd at the same time. Another chop… “WHOOOOOOO” SIN swings wildly only to be ducked as he gets connected with another chop… “WHOOOOOOOO” Causing SIN to back up towards the ropes, Taiga grabs SIN by the arm and attempts to whip him across the ring, its reverse and Taiga gets whipped, she rebounds and sees SIN prematurely bending over for a back body drop attempt only to get straighten out with a stiff kick. SIN grabs his chest as Taiga runs back to the ropes, bounces off of them, runs back but quickly gets floored by a stiff clothesline. “The only way Taiga has a chance is to hit and run.” Mak Said. “Basically what your father did with your mother.” King said with animosity. Mak turned to King with a shock look on his face. “What did you say?” “You heard me.” King answered not regretting anything he just said. “After all the bickering you and I have gone through I have never disrespected you when it comes to your family. How dare you do that to me?” Mak asked in anger. “You disrespected me about my sexuality…I ALL MAN! I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE!” King screamed. Mak just stares at King breathing hard, wondering why King is working so hard to get his point across. SIN grabs Taiga by the hair as he lifts her up, puts her in a front face lock, drapes the arm across the shoulder and lifts her up easily and drops her, back first with a beautiful vertical suplex. SIN floats over for the pin. ONE! T--- Kick out by Taiga. “That was a fairly easy kick out by Taiga; I’m not sure why SIN went for the cover so quickly.” Mak Said. “All these years wrestling and announcing and you still ask stupid questions.” SIN stays on the mat and grabs the head of Taiga and applies a headlock, pressure is added on as Taiga searches for the ropes only to find air. She starts to get up, slowly, SIN takes a shot to the ribs by Taiga, another shot…Taiga places her hand to the back of SIN and pushes him off causing SIN to release the headlock but he manages to grab a handful of hair and yanks her back into the headlock. The crowd did not approve of this move as they show it with boos. SIN takes her down with a headlock takedown as the referee began to ask Taiga if she wanted to quit. “This is a side that I thought I wouldn’t see from SIN, technical wrestling.” Mak said more surprising than usual. “I’m not surprised, as I said last time this guy wrestles, I’ve seen him trained and this guy got the goods, he just needs the guidance.” “He does -- Taiga’s shoulders are down.” ONE TW Taiga lifts her shoulder up and at the same time rolls SIN over for the cover. ONE TW SIN gets back to his original position with the headlock. Taiga slowly starts getting to her feet…she is completely up now and starts to lift SIN and hits a back suplex and hits, the only problem is that SIN did not let go of his headlock and applies more pressure and once again Taiga’s shoulder is down again. ONE Taiga lifts her shoulder up again quicker than before and right now the crown is getting restless as the start chanting ‘Boring’. “These ingrates don’t know what is good wrestling is that’s one, and two, the match just started.” King exploded. “These ingrates pay our salaries.” Mak replied. “Oh your so cliché, you’re not original, you’re typical with all these phrases that I’ve heard many times in the second rate wrestling show.” With a tone of frustration, those are the words that came out of the lips of King. “Whatever!” “Wow, another original Mak phrase.” Taiga once again starts to get to her feet and once again lifts SIN up, but instead of dropping him back to a suplex, he drops down to her knees, shoulders hitting SIN’s upper back, and that is the cause of SIN releasing the headlock. “Now that’s what you call an unusual counter.” Mak said as he pointed to the ring. Although that was a good counter it hurt Taiga as well, all of SIN’s weight right onto the left shoulder can be very painful. They both start getting up to their feet before the referee can start the mandatory ten-count. Taiga sees SIN and is about to swing wildly with a right hand but she gets caught with a poke to the eye, that illegal move causes the crowd to explode in boos. “How can a MAN cheat to get an advantage towards a woman? That’s just low.” Mak said with a disgust look on his face. “This is a man’s world, you step into the world of the man, you’re going to get treated like a man…if you cannot take it, than get an apron and go to the kitchen where most of these chicks belong.” SIN charges and drops Taiga with a clothesline…he then kicks her right on her face, then drops a fist right to the top of the head and quickly goes for the cover again. ONE TW… Another kick out by Taiga but SIN is right on top of her lifting her up by her hair, scooping her, and slamming her down with a body slam. SIN runs to the ropes, bounces off the ropes, runs towards an idle, lying Taiga and delivers and leg drop right across the neck. SIN goes for another cover… ONE TWO… Another kick out by Taiga, SIN glanced towards the ref but didn’t say anything as he gets up and at the same time lifts Taiga up by the hair. He starts pointing at her and slapping her around a little, saying things that should not be repeated on national air (Maybe on cable). He continues to slap her around and screaming at her when she gets a bolt of energy, breaks out of his grasp and starts whaling on him with forearm shots to the face. She looks back, no, she runs back towards the ropes, but once she turns around she’s met with a size 14 boot to the face and she drops, drops hard. King gets up from his seat… “Ohhhhh, that had to hurt.” SIN walks around the ring for a few seconds as he rubs his chin…now he goes back to the fallen competitor, lifts her up and with his shoulder to her gut and runs forward to the corner, driving his shoulder to her gut, not once, not twice but three times. SIN steps back to watch Taiga crumble to the mat. SIN watches Taiga for a few seconds, admiring his work but now he decides to lift her up to her feet, he places her in a front face lock, using his strength he scoops her up with his free hand, lifts her upside down and then drops to his side causing Taiga to land right on her neck in completing what he calls “Envy”. “He’s going for the cover.” Mak stated the obvious. ONE – “Gee, you think?” TWO – THR -- No, Taiga kicks out at the last second and that made SIN look at the referee and say some not so pleasant words as the referee motions that Taiga lifts her shoulder up. SIN grabs Taiga by her hair to lift her up, but a punch to the gut stops SIN in mid act, another shot to the got doubles SIN over at the same time releases Taiga’s hair, the third stick was a slap to the face that causes SIN to stumble back. Before capitalizing on the opportunity Taiga rubs her neck, she looks up at SIN being momentarily dazed and charges to him. At the last possible second, SIN turns around and counters what ever Taiga was planning to do with a beautiful powerslam. He lies on top of her but doesn’t hook any leg. “Another cover, can he get her this time?” Mak once again stated the obvious. ONE -- TWO – TH -- Taiga manages to lifts her shoulder up again to break the count. SIN did not argue with the ref this time but he quickly gets to his feet. He helps Taiga up to her feet; he places her in a ¾ headlock. “He’s going to finish it right now, wow; this was quick work to the so call Hardcore Princess.” King said, although kind of surprise, he was enjoying the match. He walks around the ring while holding Taiga like he owns the ring as he is getting booed out of the arena, well, not quite. He starts running forward, jumps up, and then gets pushed off by Taiga, SIN goes flying through the ropes and lands outside as the crowd goes wild and Taiga collapsed to one knee with the pain that SIN has dished on her. “That was a desperation counter and it came at the best possible time.” Mak said. “Mak, your announcing today has been horrendous, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you got to cut it out.” King said as he shows a bit of agitation. “I am the play by play announcer, this is what I do…you know this already King, I don’t know why you’re getting on my case.” “Because it sucks.” King explained. The referee is now on three in the mandatory ten count but it was quickly broken as Taiga goes to the outside and the crowd goes wild. “I think it’s going to turn hardcore.” King said. Once taiga hits the floor she noticed that SIN was on all fours, she runs to him and soccer kicks him causing him to flip. The crowd is going wild now as the Hardcore Princess is now the one in control. She stands about 5 feet away from SIN, patiently waiting for SIN to get up. Slowly SIN starts to rise to his feet and that’s when Taiga charges, when SIN turned to face Taiga he gets met with boot to the face as Taiga connects with a mafia kick that instantly drops SIN to the floor. “SIN is over 1 foot taller than Taiga and I’m shock that a girl her size can kick that high.” Mak said while looking at the monitor since the action is on the other side of the ring. “I know, with her size I never thought she would be that flexible, makes me think twice about her…big girls can get it too.” SIX -- screams the referee, Taiga looks back and rushes back to the ring, rolls in and then rolls right back out just to break the count. She goes back towards SIN who is struggling to get to his feet; he’s about 3 feet up the ramp. Taiga sees SIN now on his feet, just doubling over and she charges him. This time SIN looks up on time and drops her hard with a stiff clothesline, the back of Taiga’s head bounces off the ramp, her reflex made her grab the back of her head. TWO – screams the ref as SIN, still a little woozy helps Taiga to her feet by putting his hands by her head. Somehow Taiga’s head did not hurt that much as she pushes SIN’s hands away and did something that caused SIN to drop and taste his own blood from a busted lip. “Now that’s what I call hard headed…did you see that head BUTT? It came out of nowhere.” Mak said, still watching the monitor. “It surprises me how your creativity flows and…oh my god you suck tonight.” Taiga does not waste any time as she picks SIN up, puts him in a front face lock and snaps him over with a snap suplex right on top of the ramp. The sound of that made the crowd go “Ohhhhh” but the move also gave Taiga a little pain. Evidently SIN is the first one to move, as he crawls down the ramp and is right in front of the ring as he grabs the apron to pull himself up. By the time he reached the ring Taiga was already on her feet, calculating of what she’s going to do next. Once SIN got to his feet Taiga once again charges SIN and when SIN turned around… “She loves giving that head.” King said with a slick sick smile. Mak just looks at him but doesn’t say a word as the referee screams SEVEN – Once again Taiga rolls herself into the ring and rolls herself right back out. SIN is still on the floor, on one knee and clutching his stomach but he gets help getting up by Taiga and she grabs him by the arm and with a lot of leverage and she whips SIN right to the steel stairs as he hits them knee first and flips over them. THREE -- Bellows the ref half heartedly. “This is her home, this is her element and she’s taking full advantage of it.” “SIN is from the home of 9/11, the place of the lost towers… In a city that violence runs the streets. He knows a little bit about hardcore because you have to be hard to survive the streets of New York City.” King said promoting SIN’s abilities. “Why don’t you manage him since you speak so highly of him?” “I heard someone else got first dibs.” King said with a show of sadness on his face. Taiga follows SIN and grabs the wire of the camera that the cameraman was hold. She twisted it around both her hand and stands behind SIN and waits for him to get in position of getting choke, not that he’s aware of it. Once Taiga sees the opening she wraps the cord around the neck of SIN. The crowd goes wild but the referee actually stopped the count at 5 and came to the aide of SIN. “This is a regular match…you see, it’s bitches like her that men beat their woman. They don’t know their place and want to try to kill a guy.” “You are so sexist.” Mak said when King finish his statement and glanced at Mak. A loud noise is heard…people started looking around the arena trying to find the noise but they couldn’t find it until one of the fans said “Look” and pointed up to the SWFtron. There were three words displaying from the Tron and it didn’t make Taiga very happy. “THE HARDCORE PRINCESS?” That faded and another statement appeared as Taiga lets SIN go and started walking up, just a tad. “NO” Faded “THE HARDCORE BITCH!” “ANNIE 4 LIFE” Taiga started screaming profanities towards the Tron, everybody by the aisle knows what Taiga was saying but it cannot be repeated. Taiga pays no attention to SIN as he slowly creeps up behind Taiga and applies a full nelson lock, lifts her up and swings her around as he falls so that she lands face first to the floor as SIN just hit what he calls “Lust”. It seems that Taiga is knocked out as SIN picks up the motionless Taiga and throws her back in the ring. He follows and lies on top of her and waits for the referee and waits. ONE – TWO – THRE -- No, Taiga manages to get her right foot on top of the bottom rope causing the match to continue. “I thought it was over right there, this just shows the experience level between the two. Taiga has been here longer and this is SIN’s second match…there’s a significant difference there.” Mak Said SIN grabs Taiga by the arm and drags her to the middle of the ring, but instead of covering her he sits her up and goes behind her. SIN grabs Taiga’s right elbow and pulls it backwards towards himself. “This submission is so painful I don’t think Taiga can take it… I know she’s tough but this is what he calls ‘Confessions of a sin’ and Taiga is going to plea for forgiveness as she taps.” King said with conviction. SIN looks up towards the ramp and just stops everything…he lets Taiga go and walks towards the ropes as he waves his arms in a inward motion as inviting someone in the ring, although he’s doing it in a threatening motion. The camera scene changes and shows Bruner standing on the top of the ramp, arms crossed and showing no emotion whatsoever. This gives Taiga the chance to do something as she stumbles to her feet; she manages to get behind SIN without him noticing. She grabs him by his chin, places the top of her head right on the back of SIN’s neck, pulls back and then drops to her knees hitting some sort of a neckbreaker/head BUTT. “Damn…” King said jumping right off of his seat. “That could of literally break SIN’s neck. “Hence it’s called a neckbreaker.” “You don’t even know what the hell she pulled, and another thing, what in the hell is Bruner…” King looks towards the ramp but sees no one. “Um, what was he doing here?” That question felled on deaf ears as SIN is on the mat clutching the back of his neck while Taiga still stumbles around the ring. She gets stability and sees SIN on the mat and she goes for a quick cover… ONE TWO TH... No, kick out by SIN. She gets up fast and starts kicking him with authority, after the beat down, she goes to the nearest corner, goes through the ropes and begins to climb up the turnbuckle. “What is she doing?” Mak ask, King just looks at him and shakes his head. SIN starts to get up, this is the reason why Taiga doesn’t go to the top rope much because she’s slow and her slowness gave SIN the time to get to his and meets Taiga in the corner and connects with a right hand. The right hand caused Taiga to sit on the turnbuckle as SIN starts climbing as well. The referee starts counting but no one is listening to him as SIN forces Taiga to get to her feet. Her feet is on the second turnbuckle as SIN applies a front facelock…Taiga starts fight back with a few shots to the midsection which made SIN release the hold. Taiga’s head got free, she quickly grabs the head of SIN and gives him another head BUTT and down goes SIN. The headshot made Taiga dizzy as well as she’s struggling to get her feet on the top turnbuckle. She’s up there now but is still trying to balance herself as she’s holding on to the turnbuckle with her hands…then. Taiga did not see SIN coming as he came towards the side, jumps up, applies a ¾ headlock and took Taiga down the ‘Seven Deadly Sin’ all in one motion. The crowd jumps up, King jumps up, Mak wanted too but his heart was in it. SIN quickly covers her and with power he hooks both of Taiga’s legs as the ref starts banging the mat. ONE TWO THREEEEEEEEE!!! The ref motions for the bell. Ding, Ding, Ding. Still standing King was giving SIN a solo standing ovation, shaking his head and with a smile he said “That was just awesome, that’s how you finish a match, catch em’ when they least expect it.” “And the winner of this match…SSSS.IIII.NNNN “Well, I can say that tonight has been a great night and we’re just half way of the card…we still have Slaughterhouse 5 in the building for the first time since, well, I don’t remember but it’s going to be great.” King said showing more excitement than a kid in Toys R Us. “I myself am jumping for joy.” Mak said; not sure if he was trying to be funny or sarcastic but that killed the elation of King. Now with a different tone King looks towards the camera and said “Don’t go, stay tune…coming up next we have Va’aiga vs. wait…is this right?” King said looking down on notepad “is this actually happening. I thought it was a joke…no? Ok…It’s Va’aiga vs. Hollywood Spike Jenkins, that’s right Spike Jenkins is in the building.” “There fore…Don’t go anywhere.” Mak finalized Fades out.

“We are back in Philly and it’s time to see the Fabulous Jakey square off against the Insane Luchador in a hardcore match,” Mak says. “It’s definitely a disadvantage for Jakey since he has to deal with IL who is hot off a win against Va’aiga at From the Fire,” King replies. “I do feel pretty sorry for the Fabulous Jakey in some ways,” Mak admits. “Now why’s that, because IL attempted to light Va’aiga on fire in his last match?” King asks with a laugh. “That’s a pretty good reason to be sympathetic for Jakey.” “It especially doesn’t help that Jakey simply doesn’t have the same experience in hardcore matches like Insane Luchador,” Mak points out. “Not too many do.” “That doesn’t mean Jakey can’t pull it off but, yeah, if you’re not a hardcore wrestler then you don’t want to face IL in a hardcore match. But Luchador’s inconsistent, that last match ended with a desperate reversal to save his own ass from going through a flaming table.” King responds. “Well, we’re about to see what IL will bring to the table tonight,” Mak says. “The following contest is a hardcore match with a single fall ending the match and otherwise anything goes…” Suddenly “Man in the Box” kicks up with its grinding guitar followed by two large bursts of red and black pyrotechnics on the side of the entrance ramp to the crowd’s loud cheers. Insane Luchador steps out from the back and looks around the packed arena before energetically throwing his arms high up into the air to milk the cheers. He’s wearing black MMA shorts with “Ill One” written along the sides along with, in a change, he wears a dark blue on black that reads, “Born to Bleed.” He begins his descent down the aisle with a little smile on his face while keeping his hands out for the fans to slap in support. “Introducing… from Easton, Pennsylvania… weighing in at 225 pounds… YOUR PSYCHOTIC HERO- IIIINNNSSSAAAANNNEEE LLLUUCCHHHAADDOOOR!” Insane Luchador hits ringside and takes off his shirt, tossing it towards the fans, and slides into the ring, rolling up onto his feet and once more throwing his arms into the air. He stays in middle of the ring, turning to the entrance ramp, and simply staring for his opponent’s arrival. He shakes his head with a laugh, as if thinking of potential moves could be applied, and waves his arms to mention for him to come out already, beginning to get impatient. “Jakey is at a size disadvantage but he’s a smart wrestler and obviously knows how to deal with the situation,” King says. “I think he’s faster than IL and I definitely know he’s smarter.” “It’ll be interesting to see how he handles it,” Mak admits. “IL also has some speed but if Jakey can work him up then there’s a good shot to throw him off. On the downside, however, you could just end up really, really pissing him off but that’s just another risk to take.” “I’m figuring that the whole ‘try to get Va’aiga burning alive’ was more out of situational convenience than pure maliciousness,” King says. “I’m not really sure if that’s a good thing or not.” “Like a Boy” by Ciara hits and the crowd pours those boos on thick for the Fabulous Jakey’s entrance. An overwhelming negative response from the crowd drowns the song but time seems to drag before the Fabulous Jakey exposes himself with a smug grin, the bright red trench coat, and, just to taunt Luchador, he wears an “Ill One” t-shirt. He nonchalantly walks down the aisle and stops to take his time to debate with a crowd member. “Introducing, Minneapolis, Minnesota… weighing in at 160 pounds… THE FAAABBBBUUUULLLOOOUUUSS JJJAAAKKKKEEEYYY!” Insane Luchador approaches the ring ropes and tries to goad him to finally hitting ringside but he’s largely ignored until Jakey turns around to ask what the rush is. He smiles at IL while approaching him, pointing down to the t-shirt, and asking for Luchador’s opinion on it. He laughs before jogging up the ring steps, removing his trench coat, and, in usual fashion, stepping through the ropes held open by the less than enthusiastic Matthew Kivell. The Fabulous Jakey gets into the ring and points out that IL is far, far too close and in his last match he jumped the bell to Kivell’s nod, leading to Luchador slowly backing away with a growl. He stops near the center and Jakey still protests to Kivell about his positioning and the referee simply asks if he knows he’s wrestling a hardcore match before shrugging. The Fabulous Jakey condescendingly looks at Kivell, taking a few steps closer to the Insane Luchador. “The Fabulous Jakey is probably already irritating Insane Luchador and the match hasn’t begun,” Mak says. “It’s a smart move to get into Luchador’s head.” “Who the hell wants to be in IL’s head?” King counters. Kivell asks both competitions are ready to a nod from Jakey and laugh while staring at his opponent from Luchador, which is close enough because he signals for the ring bell- DING! DING! DING! “This one is officially underway and Jakey is already backing away in hopes to make Luchador strike first,” Mak says. Insane Luchador takes a step forward and barely catches Jakey with an uppercut, practically a glancing blow, and he tries for a hard right hook that his opponent ducks underneath, now behind Luchador, and now he’s in a vulnerable position. Jakey stomps on the back of Luchador’s knees, elbows him in back of his head, and just for his efforts, a kick to the crotch. He instinctively doubles over and Jakey grabs his head to force him down onto the canvas just to deliver a boot scrape against the face. He steps to the side and kicks Luchador in his kidney, takes a few paces back, calculates the shot, and runs forward to crack him in the head with a soccer kick! The crowd begins to jeer while Jakey grabs a handful of his spiked black hair, yanking him up onto his feet. “He’s simply taking advantage of the rules or the lack there of,” King says. The Fabulous Jakey looks at the dazed Luchador with a satisfied grin before he suddenly slaps the taste out of Luchador’s mouth without immediate response. He slaps him once more, to a visibly pissed Luchador, and can’t help but to slap him one last time just to hear the crowd’s booing grow even louder. “He’s just messing with Luchador now,” King says. He locks in a front facelock, grabs a handful of Luchador’s shorts, and hits the snap suplex, letting go, and nonchalantly rolling to his feet, only to notice IL is already barreling towards him! He lunges out with a hard leg kick and then a nasty body shot to the gut, doubling Jakey over, and Luchador snags the front headlock. He practically growls at Jakey’s antics and proves his displeasure by suddenly bringing a knee right into his face. The Fabulous Jakey nearly falls but Luchador keeps the hold and drops down to plant him with the quick and easy DDT. He remains on the canvas and grabs the back of Jakey’s head and lifts it up only to harshly smack it against the canvas. Luckily for Jakey it’s a single strike assault because Luchador steps away and dares Jakey to get up to see what happens next. Unluckily for Jakey IL grows impatient and grabs him by his hair, dragging him up and groggily back to his feet. The Fabulous Jakey gets dropped once more with an impressive high kick that sends him reeling back against the ropes. Insane Luchador, never one to pass up a good opportunity to take it outside the ring, charges forwards and leaps into the air with a flying clothesline, dumping both men to the outside. “I’ve got a feeling this field trip is for Luchador to grab a weapon,” Mak says. IL and Jakey roll away from each other and then push themselves back up to their feet with the Ill One beating him by a second. He charges forward but Jakey leaps into the air to halt him with a dropkick that downs the Luchador to a wave of jeers from the crowd. The Fabulous Jakey scrambles up and grabs IL’s spiked hair, beginning to tug him up, but instead he eats two shots to his gut. Luchador locks his hands behind the back of Jakey’s neck, placing his head underneath his chin, and drops down with a jawbreaker to buy more time. He grabs Jakey by the arm and lifts him off his feet, clutches the back of his head, and begins to guide him over to the guardrail, where he slams his head against the steel barricade. He lifts up Jakey’s head once again and drives it down against the guardrail once again! He lifts his head up and begins to guide it down but Jakey plants his hands against the guardrail, resisting Luchador’s attempts, and throws two elbows back. This time Luchador’s head is bounced off the guardrail and Jakey grabs a hold of his wrist to Irish whip him hard towards the steel steps. Luchador rockets towards the steps and smacks against them so hard he practically flips over the stairs, dislodging them. He cockily struts over towards Luchador only to see IL stand back up, toss the top part of the stairs off to the side, and hop onto the bottom half, taking flight. He flings himself forward to leap off with a flying clothesline that catches Jakey, taking him down! Jakey rolls to the barricade for salvation as a stabilizer while IL walks over, grabs the steel steps, and approaches Jakey with a sadistic smirk. He gets into range and lifts the stairs into the air before heaving them at Jakey, catching him on top of the head, and it crumbles him down once again. Luchador pushes the stairs off to the side and gets a handful of Jakey’s hair, lifting him to his feet, and locking in a front facelock. He grabs a handful of his tights and hoists him into the air and takes advantage of Jakey’s light weight by walking towards the stairs. The crowd burst into cheers as IL gets on top of the steps and drops down to spike Jakey onto the top of his head with a brainbuster literally on the stairs! “Huge move by IL early and he’s going for the pin,” Mak says. Kivell, who just slid outside in time, begins the count- “ONE!” The crowd chants. “TWO!” But Jakey kicks out and IL simply grunts, letting go of Jakey, who plops off the steps, and Insane Luchador gets onto all fours and crawls to the ring apron, lifts up the skirt, and begins his hunt for a satisfactory weapon to bring in. He rummages underneath the ring apron, truly looking at his options instead of speedily grab one, and temporarily sticks his head underneath while Jakey rolls to his feet behind him. The Fabulous Jakey walks to the timekeeper, who knows this familiar, inevitable situation all too well, and asks for him to stand up, which he quickly does, and even hands the chair over to Jakey. Luchador continues to obliviously hunt underneath the ring as Jakey folds the chair, smiles, and slowly approaches IL from behind. He coughs loudly, causing Luchador to turn around, right into a resounding chair shot that incites jeers from the crowd. He immediately drops to the cement and tries to roll right back up but not even the hardcore veteran can shake off a nasty chair shot –that- easily, so he ends up flopping onto his back, legs defensively whiffing on up-kicks directed at Jakey, who simply steps to the side with the chair. He jabs it down against Luchador’s gut to a low groan of pain and Jakey, liking this feeling of inflicting pain, aims one right at his neck, striking him in the Adam’s apple, instantly causing him to wheeze for air. The Fabulous Jakey drops the steel chair beside him and curiously looks at the ringside skirt lifted up to reach underneath to see what Luchador may have rejected. He walks over and reaches underneath the ring to pull out a kendo stick to the crowd’s delight and he holds it high into the air before breaking into a jog towards Luchador, who’s on one knee. The Ill One tries to get up in time to be defensive but instead Jakey swings the kendo stick, slamming it against Luchador’s gut, and then steps behind him, holding the stick horizontally, and pulls up to begin choking him. Luchador first tries to pry the cane out of his hands but realizes it’s futile and switches tactics by stomping onto Jakey’s foot but that doesn’t break the hold and instead incites Fabulous to yank back even harder on the stick, digging a knee into Luchador’s back. He listens to Luchador’s wheezing and feels satisfied enough to step over but keeps the stick on him before tying up his leg and dropping down with a kendo stick assisted Russian Legsweep. Luchador hits the canvas and instinctively begins to roll away and he gets onto all fours to escape but the Fabulous Jakey hangs onto the kendo stick and begins to walk towards him. He lifts the stick high into the air and brings it down against his back, halting Luchador’s brief retreat, and begins to repeatedly beat on Luchador with shots from the stick! “Man, the Fabulous Jakey grabbed that kendo stick and hasn’t looked back,” Mak flinches. He pauses, staring at Luchador’s now red and raw back, and holds the stick to his side when IL begins to crawl away again but Jakey steps onto his back to put weight on him, causing him to drop flat on the canvas. The Fabulous Jakey shrugs to the incoming jeers and holds the stick into the air before once more dropping it but this time smacking him right in his head. Jakey laughs and looks at the kendo stick, apparently growing bored, and throws it off to the side. He leans over and grabs Luchador, tugging him onto his feet, and slaps him once again. He throws an overhand right that IL catches in mid-air, to the crowd’s emerging cheers, and throws back an overhand right that stuns Jakey. Insane Luchador rallies the crowd by connecting with another overhand right, followed by a left leg kick, a quick jab to his face, and a hard right hand into the ribs that visibly hurts Jakey. He continues by grabbing him by the back of his head, pulling it towards him, and stunning him with a head BUTT. He rolls Jakey into the ring and he looks around at the crowd before pointing down to the ring apron to their roar of approval and he happily obliges, reaching underneath the ring apron. He pulls out a burlap sack that he jiggles around like a child trying to hear inside a gift and slides into the ring, walking towards the stumbling Jakey. He waits until Jakey makes eye contact, holding the sack up high for him to see, and the Fabulous Jakey tries to rush him to snatch away the sack but instead gets smacked in the face with it to Luchador’s laughter. He swings the sack once again, hitting Jakey right in the face, and then, at Jakey’s eye level, dumps the sack out in front of them, pouring hundreds and hundreds of glistening thumbtacks onto the canvas. He looks down with a grin and looks back up to Jakey, only to see a blur in his peripherals which turns out to be Jakey’s foot from a roundhouse kick. Luchador reels backwards, standing on the thumbtacks, but he holds onto the actual burlap sack and allows Jakey to come forward with a grin, lunging out to bring the burlap sack over his head. Luchador yanks the pull strings and kicks Jakey in the gut, doubling him over, and he grabs the back of his head, forcing it down, and ripping off the burlap sack so Jakey can see the thumbtacks below. He steps behind Jakey and wraps his arm around his neck, now bending his head the other way, and drops down for a reverse DDT right into the thumbtacks! The Fabulous Jakey automatically lifts his back off the canvas, gasping for breath, and winces at the thumbtacks now stuck in his back. Insane Luchador stands up behind him, brushes away a few stray thumbtacks, and then sends a harsh kick straight into his back, hoping to push the thumbtacks further in. Jakey, surrounded in the sea of thumbtacks, grits through the pain and rolls out of the pile back onto his feet with a growl that Luchador laughs at. “Now Jakey gets a taste of what Luchador has in store for him,” Mak says. The Fabulous Jakey comes forward and throws a knee into his gut, doubling Luchador over, and he drags him by his hair over into the thumbtacks to a resistant Luchador who sends elbows into his gut but it’s no use. Jakey locks in a front facelock and uses his free hand to clutch Luchador’s far hand to the crowd’s jeers and sends him back first into the thumbtacks with a swinging neckbreaker to his (and King’s) delight. “Whatever Luchador has in store, I’m pretty sure Jakey can rise above it,” King optimistically says. Luchador forces himself to sit up, his hands awkwardly reaching back, trying to dislodge the thumbtacks but without much success. He pushes himself up to his feet with his signature psychotic smile and Jakey, still in pain from the thumbtacks, strategically retreats to the outside of the ring. Insane Luchador grabs a handful of the tacks and walks up to the ropes, throwing him towards Jakey, and giving him enough time to leap onto the top rope and leap off with a flying crossbody to the outside! They smack against the cement and IL gets his knees to crawl over to the apron to cheers from the apparently blood thirsty crowd. The Fabulous Jakey lowly groans but rolls up against the steel barricade and uses it for support to begin to stand up. Meanwhile Insane Luchador digs underneath the ring apron, obviously in search for something, and Mak has a good idea of what- “He’s probably looking for Excalibur, that light tube sword,” Mak says. The Ill One’s quest for Excalibur ends up being fruitless and he instead clutches onto an object underneath the ring, looking ready to pull it out for everybody to see. The Fabulous Jakey gets back to his feet and leans against the guardrail for a brief moment before attacking Luchador from behind with a kick to the spine. He drops down to a knee and wraps an arm underneath Luchador’s neck and begins to choke him. IL pulls out a light tube bundle and swings it backwards, shattering it on top of Jakey’s head, to a roar from the crowd and a loud groan from him. He loosens his grip and Luchador wrestles free his arm and stands up while Jakey reels backwards in retreat to the Ill One’s delight. The Fabulous Jakey frantically looks for an answer and scatters the employees, leaving an empty chair ripe for pickings. He grabs the chair, folds it, and turns around to see IL once again underneath the ring and pulling out a table with light tubes taped on top of it. “Oh man, I would not want to be the Fabulous Jakey right now,” Mak says. He slides it underneath the ring with a satisfied smile, looking over to his side, and realizing he’s underestimated Jakey’s toughness since he’s already barreling towards him with the chair raised high in the air. He only has time to brace himself as Jakey brings the chair down, cracking Luchador right on top of the head with it but the Ill One musters up the strength to remain standing but swaying back and forth. The Fabulous Jakey, unimpressed by Luchador, simply brings the chair up into the air once again before bashing Luchador’s head with it, dropping him, and he lifts the chair into the air to draw in the jeers from the crowd. He tosses the chair into the ring and grabs a hold of Luchador’s hair, bringing him up to his feet, and rolls him into the ring, hopping onto the apron. Insane Luchador crawls away on the canvas and gets onto one knee to Jakey’s delight who just stands on the ring apron, waving to the audience in delight to their boos. The Ill One pushes himself onto his feet, back turned to Jakey, and stumbles backwards while looking forward at the chair just a few feet in front of him. He staggers forward to grab it while Jakey hops onto the top rope and leaps off, catching Luchador with a springboard bulldog that sends his face smacking against the chair with a hollow thud! The Ill One rolls over, clutching his face, and blood begins to stream down his face to a laugh from Jakey who steps over Luchador, grabbing the chair. He sits it up in center of the ring, walking towards IL, and grabs him by the back of his head. He lifts him up to his feet, knees him in the stomach, and looks down at Luchador’s blood on his hand with a disgusted look before wiping it on Luchador’s back. He grabs a hold of Luchador’s wrist and Irish whips him into the ropes, stepping in front of the chair, and watching IL come running back towards him. He drops down to the canvas, hoping for a drop toehold, and IL surprises him, as well as the now cheering crowd, by hopping over him, onto the seat of the chair! He jumps backwards and catches Jakey with a double stomp awkwardly on his side to an audible swear from the Fabulous Jakey and Luchador sets his sights on the light tube table near the corner of the ring. He walks over towards the table while the Fabulous Jakey grits through the pain, quietly standing up, and running forward to club IL from behind, who stumbles forwards. He whirls around and catches Jakey with a spinning backfist, stunning him, and then grabs the front headlock, swiftly dropping down with the Evenflow DDT! “Luchador hits the Evenflow DDT on Jakey, a former finisher that he has used to win matches!” Mak exclaims. Luchador stands up and throws his arms into the air to rally the crowd while heading towards his original destination, the light tube table. He grabs the table and sets the table up parallel to the turnbuckle before glancing down at the cheap metal legs facing the turnbuckle. He stomps down on the legs, bending them, and continues to stomp on it until the legs give away, sloping down towards the turnbuckle that incites Luchador’s signature psychotic smile. “Now this can’t be going anywhere good,” King says. “That’s an odd way to position the table, though.” “He has set tables up like that before when trying to go for the Brink of Insanity,” Mak points out. “So no, it isn’t going anywhere good for Jakey.” He reaches over and grabs Jakey, lifting him onto his feet, and stepping behind him to lock in the full nelson, the set-up for the Brink of Insanity! The crowd explodes as Luchador brings him back towards the turnbuckle, with little resistance from Jakey, and hops onto the top turnbuckle, ready to leap off until Jakey brings his heads up to slap him in the ears, stunning him. Jakey hops onto the first turnbuckle and laces his fingers behind Luchador’s neck, snapmaring him forward to foil the Brink of Insanity, and it sends him straight through the light tube table that simply shatters to the crowd’s dismay. “It backfired! Luchador tried for the Brink of Insanity and Jakey shows some cunning moves,” Mak exclaims. “He’s still in this one for sure,” King happily says. The Fabulous Jakey hops down from the turnbuckle and arrogantly throws ups his arms to mock Luchador, heading towards him, and moving the remains of the table to the side before pinning him! “He could have it right here!” “ONE!” “TWO!” Kivell’s hand lifts off the canvas and begins to drop down when Luchador kicks out, to swears of disbelief and accusation of a slow count from Jakey towards the referee. He looks around the ring for anything to help assist putting the Ill One down and unfolded chair in center of the ring. He lifts Luchador up and dazes him with a forearm before dragging him over towards the ropes in front of the chair and he locks in the front facelock, looking for his finisher, Jumping Jakey Flash! He looks ready to leap onto the second rope when Luchador throws two hooks to Jakey’s ribs, stunning him, and he breaks free and slips behind Jakey. He tries to lock in the full nelson but the sly Jakey slips underneath it, freeing himself, and he whirls around to catch Luchador with a spinning kick! The Ill One stumbles back, his back turned to the chair behind him, and Jakey surges forward but gets caught with a front toe kick. Insane Luchador lunges out to lock in the front headlock to a roar from the crowd and he suddenly brings up a hard knee to Jakey’s ribs. “He isn’t taking any chances here,” Mak says. “He’s really looking to wear Jakey down so he can end this one.” He tries to send another knee but Jakey catches it, making IL wobble on one leg, and he tries to do something with it but instead the Ill One drives two hard elbows down to Jakey’s spine, causing him to drop his leg. He quickly grabs a handful of Jakey’s tights and lifts him into the air in the front headlock before dropping down to the side of the chair, plastering Jakey onto the chair with a sickening thud from the Implant DDT! “Implant DDT right onto that chair and that may do it!” Mak exclaims to King’s groan. Luchador goes for the cover to the crowd’s loud cheers as they count along- “ONE!” “TWO!” “Come on, kick out,” King pleads. The Fabulous Jakey stirs on the canvas but simply can’t muster enough strength to kick out before he hears the dreaded word- “TTTHHHHRREEEE!” DING! DING! DING! “Man in the Box” begins and IL rolls to his feet with his arms in the air to the crowd’s delight with a psychotic smile. “IL has won it and he just may be picking up some momentum,” Mak summarizes. “But that’s to be seen and so is a lot more, which is next!” -Starwipe, bitches-

When we return to the arena, the fans are on their feet, generally whooping and hollering. Not at anything in particular, not with any particular point, but most certainly because of those in the ring. SWF General Manager Toxxic stands to the left of SWF Commissioner Landon Maddix, with as yet untitled authority accessory Megan Skye on his arm. "What's up everyone!" cheers Landon, causing Toxxic to wince a little. "YYYAAAAAAYYY!" cheers the crowd, also causing Toxxic to wince a little. All a little informal, but for his liking. "So, on behalf of my new colleague to my side, I'd like to thank you all for coming out here tonight. Or, buying the DVD. Viewing this segment on YouTube. Illegal download? You will be hunted down and tortured by an expendable SWF personality, I have no thanks for you. The rest, thank you. Now, to complete a few formalities, I hand you over to our new General Manager Toxxic who has some announcements." Glaring out of the corner of his eye, Toxxic seems a little surprised, as if this wasn't how he and Landon has discussed things would happen. But, he gamely takes the mantle, ie. the microphone, all the same. "Alright. So, the bad news that Landon so kindly delogated to me, is that Alan Clark's gone and busted up his knee. Clumsy bugger went and twisted it moving boxes, or something. Anyway, point is, he ain't gonna be wrestling tonight, on account of our medical insurance policies being placed a little too low on the ol' budget list." Landon glares out of the corner of his eye at the cheapshot, but keeps a smile on his face all the same. "Unfortunately that means we ain't gonna have our scheduled main-event tonight. Instead, Slaughterhouse are gonna get the match with Dace and Va'aiga at Battleground, with a little adjustment. It'll be non-title and they have to beat VDN to get the Tag Title shot in the future. Of course, on the flip-side, that means we've got the World Champ in action but no belts on the line. So, when in doubt, add a stipulation. Classic SWF booking 101! If Slaughterhouse beat VDN, they get a Tag Title shot. But if either Dace or Va'aiga get the pin on Alexander, that right there's an automatic shot at the SWF World Title for them. Can't say fairer than that now, can we?" The fans who've already paid their money don't neccessarily seem to agree, but whatever. "And with that in mind, on with what of the show we have!" Toxxic glares at Landon out of the corner of his eye for interrupting. What a great start.

The screen fades and slowly the image of Ben Hardy is seen standing backstage with Insane Luchador. He looks into the camera, microphone held up to his mouth, until IL quietly protests and suddenly gets the microphone handed to him. He smirks and walks close, nearly too close, to the camera. “These aren’t idle threats,” he simply says with a smile. “These aren’t idle threats like the ones Va’aiga had thrown at me and neither is this. Jakey, I hate to say it- but I hardly know you. I hardly know you so I’m not sure just how you’re feeling about our match. I won’t even predict how you feel because that’s ignorant, that’s arrogant, and not what I’m interested in anyway.” He takes a step back and glances back at Hardy, almost surprised he’s still behind him, and Hardy takes the hint, scurrying away. He turns back to the camera with a smile while shaking his head and gives a little shrug. “What I can predict, though, is how I’m feeling about this match and what I can see happening. There are a lot of different ways this can go, Jakey, and I have to say- I’m not seeing anything good for you, Jakey. See, I’m an honest guy so I won’t lie about From the Fire…” He hangs his head low for a second before chuckling and looking back up. “Frankly, that was fun. It may not have been my best performance, certainly not his, but he really got me motivated… Va’aiga’s words really lifted my spirits, if you will. Hell, From the Fire was rejuvenating in ways. See, I don’t really have a problem with you, per se but you are my opponent. I don’t know, I feel like I may have been misjudged in the past and I just wanted to bring some… clarity to all of this. Now, now… well, I feel like I’m rambling.” He stops to roll his shoulders and opens his mouth to continue. “Here’s what I am saying, Jakey- From the Fire was a nice little taste for all of us… just a lil’ taste, so keep that in mind. Keep in mind that there’s a whole lot more coming and, as of tonight, it’s coming your way. So I don’t know what to say to you, really, Jakey about tonight in terms of advice. Not showing up would be a wise decision but that’d really, really hurt my feelings,” he sarcastically says. “I’m just being a friendly reminder that there’s something coming and these aren’t idle threats.” He drops the microphone and waves Hardy back over with a sigh before walking away himself. Hardy shyly bends over to pick the microphone. “Well, there are some choice words from the Ill One,” Hardy simply concludes. -Fade to Black-

Back from the commercial and we find Jamie O'Hara back in trouble, at the hands of Christian Wright. COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and during the break, Jamie O'Hara found himself isolated by Cucaracha Enterprises. No other eliminations since we left you with that quadruple DQ, because... well, that would be kind of a copout, right? COACH Would have been easier. Wright wrenches away on the traditional abdominal stretch as the fans start to rally, lead from the apron by Leon Rodez. Feeling the energy from the Lousianianers, or something, O'Hara manages to turn a little, enough to get an elbow in to the ribs. And a second. And a third! Breaking free of the hold, O'Hara then hits the ropes... and gets cut off with a knee to the midsection! "OOOOOHHHHHHHH!" Cover by CDub... 1... 2... No! With a front facelock applied, Wright drags O'Hara over to the corner and lets Maddix tag in. Landon delivers a kick to the exposed ribs, leaving O'Hara struggling for breath. COLE Cucaracha Enterprises have the man advantage and they're doing a good job of isolating O'Hara, getting a fresh man in, working him over. Taking O'Hara over, Landon lines up and kicks him HARD in the spine, further softening up the ribs. Mockingly, Landon takes off as if he just scored the winning penalty in the World Cup Final, his over-exuberant celebration endearing him to... well, no-one. In the middle of his celebration, he gets slapped on the shoulder by one of those 'no-one' people, Todd Cortez, tagging himself in and motioning for a surprised Landon to take a hike. COLE Haha. Care to explain that one, Coach? COACH ... Cortez steps in and delivers his own kick to the spine. Only, unlike Landon, he follows it up with a pin. 1... 2... Kickout! Dragging O'Hara back up, Cortez quickly takes a step to the side and sweeps him backwards with a side russian legsweep. Rolling through in one movement he follows that up with a legdrop and tries another cover... 1... 2... No! COLE O'Hara showing his fight, but he needs to get a tag here. "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" Sensing the same thing the fans get behind O'Hara again. Cortez doesn't concern himself with that though and keeps on The Birmingham Bad Boy as he rocks him with a European uppercut. A second uppercut leaves O'Hara slumped on the ropes, breathing heavily. Cortez grabs the wrist and does a quick spin as he pulls O'Hara off the ropes, right into a rolling back kick to the gut! Hooking up the shoulder, Todd then drags O'Hara backwards into a modified backbreaker and makes the cover... 1... 2... Foot on the ropes! COLE O'Hara simply hasn't been able to recover from that blocked 450. And I'm not sure how much longer he's gonna be able to stick in this one. Looking a little frustrated at Cortez's inability to finish Jamie off, Moneymaker tags in. COACH Not much longer, becomes here come the money! Using the ropes to pull himself up, O'Hara fights back to his feet. Moneymaker lays into him with a chop, before sending him off into the ropes and cutting him down with a clothesline from the left side. The Billion Dollar Heir then drops a FISTFUL OF DOLLARS onto the face. And not the good kind. Hook of the leg... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Moneymaker pulls O'Hara right back up, hitting a gutwrench suplex and trying again... 1... 2... Shoulder up again! Hands on hips, Moneymaker asks the referee if he's been paid off which of course he denies. Moneymaker then asks him if he fancies [i]being[/i] paid off, his offer of a bribe being turned down by the upstanding Chioda. COLE I hate to think what Moneymaker's going to have up his sleeve if he wins here tonight. Who knows what he's going to use that AngleMania match of choice for. COACH Whatever benefits The Enterprise most is what he'll use it for. COLE That's what I'm worried about. Moneymaker drags O'Hara up again, O'Hara offering little assistance at this point. Guiding him into position Moneymaker then sends him into motion with a hard irish whip, O'Hara crunching into the turnbuckles and collapsing in a heap! MONEYMAKER :D "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Mockingly Moneymaker takes a step back and actually encourages O'Hara to crawl and get the tag to Leon Rodez. That might be because O'Hara has the length of the ring to crawl and is doing so at a snail's pace. But suddenly O'Hara takes a backwards turn and tries to roll out of the ring! Moneymaker JUST grabs his ankle in time to stop him from escaping and drags him away from his reprieve, clubbing him with a couple of forearms for daring to make The Billion Dollar Heir look foolish. As O'Hara gets up, Moneymaker then throws a clothesline. O'Hara ducks and goes for a kick, caught... but O'Hara lands with an Enziguri!! COLE Caught him! And now O'Hara HAS to tag! And he does, by rolling out of the ring with Moneymaker this time inches short of catching him! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh no oh no. COLE Oh yeah! Theodore Moneymaker is about to get what's damn well coming to him!! Leon rushes into the ring and to little surprise, Moneymaker decides discretion is the better part of valour and tries to get out of the ring. Leon grabs him by the tights and stops him though, spinning him around and hitting him with a jab! COLE Mama Said Moneymaker's gonna get knocked out! A jab! COACH Yeah, but who's Mama? A jab! A jab! ...another jab! And another! And another!! And another!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COACH Come on, stop! Those are closed fists! Leon just keeps teeing off on Moneymaker with the rights, each and every one of them with Jade's name on it. But Moneymaker, realising he's in trouble, quickly goes to the eyes... AND THEN GOES LOW, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Not waiting around for the announcement, Moneymaker takes off down the aisle nursing his jaw from the persistant jabs. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Theodore Moneymaker has been disqualified... and, eliminated! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE A first class exhibition in taking the coward's way out! Moneymaker just threw away his chances of winning the Cibernetico and his team's man advantage, just to get the hell away from fighting the man who's life he's again tried to ruin! ****************** THEODORE MONEYMAKER (Cucaracha Enterprises) Team Entry: #8 Eliminated: 6th (overall), 3rd (Team) Eliminations: None Eliminated By: DQ (KOL) 5 - 5 (CE) ********************** Not looking too pleased on the outside, Landon bemoans the fact Moneymaker has thrown away a great situation, right in earshot of the only Enterprise member left, Christian Wright. Being the only member left, he holds his tongue. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The fans get back into the match as James Blonde comes in clubbing away on the compromised Silky Smooth One. Blonde then tries to take advantage of what Mr. Moneymaker left him as he goes for a quick pinfall... 1... 2... No! COLE The match keeps on rolling though. No time for Leon to catch a reprieve, or his breath after that blatant lowblow. The Trendsetter sees that Leon is still hurting despite the kickout and risks going up top. Scaling the turnbuckles, he measures Leon with fist clenched, kissing the fist before coming off the top with the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop... ...AND EATS BOOT!! COACH Oh, why does that always happen? Rolling to his corner, Leon gets off the tag to Jock Mulligan who quickly latches a hold of JB's arm. An irish whip sends him for the ride, Jock going up with a standing dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... No! Blonde staggers to his feet, hand out-stretched hopefully looking for a tag. He walks right into a scoop from Jock, taking Blonde up over his shoulder for the running powerslam... but Blonde escapes! Blonde quickly grabs a cobra clutch, looking for Illegally Blonde! Jock digs his elbow into the ribs to escape that though, spinning out of the clutches and going to the ribs again with a boot. Off the ropes, Jock then mows Blonde down with the Bandit Kick!! COLE Right in the face, he got him! 1... 2... NO!! Pulling Blonde up again, Jock shoots him into a neutral corner. From the opposite side of the ring The Texas Twister then tells Blonde to Bite My Shiny Metal Ass... ...BUT HE MOVES! Jock ends up BUTT-bumping the top turnbuckle and with Blonde now on the outside, Jock's fate gets even worse, as Faqu stampedes in with an AVALANCHE!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Where did Faqu come from!? Like a mack truck, he just plowed right through The Texas Twister! As Faqu leaves the ring seemingly to check Blonde is okay, Christian Wright quickly comes in and takes over. Hooking up the head, Wright hangs Jock up across the top rope...and whips him down with the CONVERSION RATE!! COACH How's that for a texas twister? Cover by CW... 1... 2... 3!!! BUFFER Jock Mulligan has been eliminated! COLE And Cucaracha Enterprises have their man advantage back. ****************** JOCK MULLIGAN (Kings Of Leon) Team Entry: #2 Eliminated: 7th (overall), 4th (Team) Eliminations: None Eliminated By: Christian Wright (KOL) 4 - 5 (CE) ********************** Wright has little time to celebrate though, as Tyler Bryant runs in and catches him with the Phantom Neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... NO! COLE The action shows no sign of abating here. These men have been out here for some time now and the fatigue is beginning to set in, everybody can sense a pinfall is one big shot away. A dropkick sends Wright backpedalling, caught in the ropes as Tyler charges with a clothesline. Wright gets a boot up to block though and quickly hooks Tyler up, looking to send him the way of his partner with the Conversion Rate. He hooks on the facelock, lifts Tyler up... but Tyler floats behind, rolling Wright up... 1... 2... No! The kickout sends Tyler through the ropes and to the floor, bringing Baron in. Wright manages to duck a Lariat, but as he ducks his head on the rebound Baron catches the head and plants The Natural with the BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE PLANTED him! Baron flips CW over and hooks the leg deep... 1... 2... SAVE BY LANDON!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The distraction allows Wright to groggily roll from the ring, leaving the backpedalling Landon the legal man in the ring. Begging off from Baron, Landon sees Cortez step to the apron and suddenly realises he's in trouble... so he slaps Cortez's hand and tags himself out before Baron can get his hands on him! COACH Good move. COLE Well that's a good way to survive in this match, but it's hardly becoming of a former World Champion. Baron holds his hands on his hips, frustrated at the lack of guts shown by La Cucaracha. His pre-occupation with Landon could prove costly though, as when he turns to Cortez he gets a shot to the gut and pulled down as Todd slingshots in with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout! Underneath a clothesline goes Cortez, coming off the ropes at the side and charging back at Baron with the HOLLOW POOOOIIIIII... NO! Baron gets a BIG Boot up into the face of the onrushing Urban Legend! As soon as Cortez goes down he's 'helped' to the outside by Landon and CW though, allowing Blonde to get in and dump Baron to the outside as well. COLE And, thanks to some more 'questionable' tactics, that's going to mean Jamie O'Hara is back in the match. Barely having got himself onto the apron thanks to the punishment he's taken, O'Hara is dragged into the ring by Blonde, smirking away as he clubs him with some forearms. A vertical suplex takes The Birmingham Bad Boy up and over, a casual pin from Blonde... 1... 2... Kickout! COACH You know, O'Hara should do the honourable thing and just give up, give his partners a chance to win. COLE How in the world do you figure that? COACH Well only one guy's going to win in the end. And it's not going to be O'Hara, because he can barely stand, let alone fight. Just let Blonde pin you and get it over with. Makes sense to me. COLE ... Supremely confident, Blonde paintbrushes O'Hara with the flat of his boot. And again, daring him to get up and fight. Which he does as he surprises JB with a right hand to the gut! Another right lands. And another. O'Hara then pulls himself to his feet... and Blonde cuts him off with knee to the back as he sets himself for a spinkick! COLE O'Hara is a fighter, but he's fighting from underneath from here on out. Those ribs have been worked on for a good portion of this Cibernetico and one shot is a killer in this situation. Blonde quickly scoops O'Hara up... and drives him down with a Kneeling Powerbomb! 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Another kickout! Give O'Hara credit. COACH Why? Seriously, all he's doing is prolonging the inevitable. Sure, he's showing a lot of fight, but all he's proving to me is that he's a glutton for punishment. COLE It's about pride, Coach. It's about guts. And it's about AngleMania VII! Blonde looks at Chioda with a furrowed brow, hands on hips. Grabbing hold of O'Hara again he then coaches Chioda on how to deliver a three count, expecting to see it in practice as he lifts O'Hara up again. But O'Hara blocks the powerbomb attempt with a right hand! Another! O'Hara then shifts himself behind, tumbling forward into a Victory Roll... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH WHAT!? COLE The reigning Cibernetico [i]campeón[/i] is gone! COACH That never would have happened have O'Hara had just given up! BUFFER James Blonde has been eliminated! ****************** JAMES BLONDE (Cucaracha Enterprises) Team Entry: #1 Eliminated: 8th (overall), 4th (Team) Eliminations: None Eliminated By: Jamie O'Hara (KOL) 4 - 4 (CE) ********************** As the incredulous Blonde is motioned from the ring, O'Hara slumps backwards and tries to catch a breather. However, there are no breathers in the Cibernetico. As he soon finds out when Faqu steps into the ring and CRUSHES The Birmingham Bad Boy with a Big Splash!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE That may just put pay to the guts of O'Hara though. Just for good measure, Faqu peels O'Hara off the canvas and double-underhooks the arms. He then elevates him up... and sits out with the DEATH BY SAMOAN piledriver, counting along in Samoan with the count... 1... 2... 3!! BUFFER Jamie O'Hara has been eliminated! O'Hara is rolled out of the ring by Faqu, looking down on his handiwork and beating his chest. COLE Jamie put up a heck of the fight, but Faqu was simply too much for him. And once again, Cucaracha Enterprises have their man advantage back. ****************** JAMIE O'HARA (Kings Of Leon) Team Entry: #8 Eliminated: 9th (overall), 5th (Team) Eliminations: James Blonde Eliminated By: Faqu (KOL) 3 - 4 (CE) ********************** Landon regains the confident smile on his face, as Leon Rodez wearily pulls himself into the ring to face the big Samoan. COLE So we're down to Leon Rodez, Tyler Bryant and Baron Windels on the one side... Faqu, Cortez, Maddix and Christian Wright on the other. COACH Looks like Leon's got some work to do if his 'Kings' are gonna survive tonight. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" In the absense of James Blonde, Landon offers his words of advise to Faqu before he and Rodez lock it up. Leon quickly shrugs off the attempts to grab a hold of him by Faqu... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chop... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...another... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a third. FAQU [i]BLLLLLLAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!![/i] The knifedges only serve to aggrivate Faqu though and shoves Rodez away, before lunging at him with a clothesline. Leon ducks it though, tumbling forward with the Shack Attack as Faqu rebounds off the ropes, knocking him down! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE The Wrecking Ball just came off it's chains! With Faqu down, Leon quickly elevates Faqu's legs and tries to apply the Liontamer! Applying the hold on the 300 pounder and his tree-trunk like legs is a losing exercise though and Rodez can't get the hold he wants on the legs. So he settles instead for dropping a head to the (hefty) breadbasket, before rolling over and tagging in Tyler Bryant. The two members of Love Generation show their double-team ability, as they send Faqu off the ropes with a double whip and connect on a Double Dropkick. COLE The former 6-Man Tag Team Champions on one third of the new Champions. Another quick tag is made, bringing in Baron. He and Tyler combine with another double whip. Calling an audible, Baron then leads Tyler in hitting a Double Shoulderblock, again putting Faqu down! COLE Arkansas Toothpick, out of Baron and Tyler? Another quick tag, Baron and Leon now combining. Landon and Wright protest about the continued double teaming, as Baron and Leon manage to get Faqu up with a Double Hiptoss on the rebound! Leon then dives on top for the cover, after the three consecutive double-teams... 1... 2... No! COLE The Kings have realised what they have to do with Faqu. Quick attacks, get fresh men in and out, double-team offence. COACH Keep the odds unfair you mean? COLE They've got five counts to get in and out, same as any tag team competition. Faqu gets rocked by some jabs from Leon now, backed up towards a neutral corner. Rodez grabs the arm and tries to send him across the ring with an irish whip, only for Faqu to root himself to the spot and reverse, short-whipping Leon into the corner behind him. Leon clatters into the turnbuckles and falls right into Faqu's arms, thrown overhead with an Overhead Belly To Belly Suplex! Quickly Christian calls for a tag. And once he's recieved the go-ahead from Landon, Faqu does tag out to The Natural. COLE One move from Faqu and the tide turns. That's why he's so dangerous. COACH And now here comes CDub, repping for The Enterprise, keeping the dream alive! That's why you never count out Theodore Moneymaker. COLE Yeah, I'm sure if Christian wins, Moneymaker will still be the one making the decisions regarding AngleMania. Stepping in with his longtime enemy, Wright pulls Rodez up and rocks him with a couple of European uppercuts. Irish whip, but Wright ducks his head early and gets a hard kick to the shoulder blade for his troubles. Wright recovers and swings with a clothesline, ducked by Leon. Boot to the gut and Leon butterflies the arms... but Wright spins out, butterflying the arms himself and elevating Leon up and over the shoulder... but Leon squirms free and escapes down the back! Waistlock, but a standing switch from CW and a Germa... NO! Leon dips forward and cradles Wright up... 1... 2... No! Both men up and a DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE leaves both men right back down! COLE Man, what an effort from all of these men. We're going to stay with you to the conclusion here on HeldDOWN~!, we've been given extra time by the good folks at TSM. Both Leon and Wright take their time to catch their wind and make their seperate ways over to the corner. Christian gets the tag off first and Landon tries to cut off Leon, but doesn't get there in time! Tag to Tyler, who's been a ball of energy all night and finds some more to unload with right hands on Landon! Landon tries to slow him down by grabbing a headlock, but Tyler shoots him off to the ropes. Drop down forces La Cucaracha up and over, Tyler swinging with a clothesline... Landon putting on the brakes and pulling Tyler into the Complete Shot! 1... 2... NO! COLE I dare say Landon is the freshest man in the match at this point. He's done a good job of avoiding too much action, to put it kindly. Up to the middle turnbuckle climbs Landon, waving Tyler back to his feet. As Tyler walks in Landon then takes off, looking to hook him with the DDT on the way down... but Tyler dodges past and Landon is forced to land on his feet! Off the ropes, Landon ducks underneath a thrown elbow, coming off the opposite side with plenty of speed. Not enough to catch Tyler out though as he throws a dropkick low, catching Maddix in the knee and sending him sprawling across the canvas face-first! COLE Look out! As Landon comes up to a knee, Tyler flings himself forward with the SHINING ENZIGURI... ...DUCKED! Tyler lands up flopping to the mat empty-handed and gets pulled up, into the fireman's carry, caught with a quick GTS!! COACH GO TO SLEEP! 1... 2... 3!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH YES! BUFFER Tyler Bryant has been eliminated! ****************** TYLER BRYANT (Kings Of Leon) Team Entry: #3 Eliminated: 10th (overall), 6th (Team) Eliminations: None Eliminated By: Landon Maddix (KOL) 2 - 4 (CE) ********************** Leon hangs his head a little on the floor, but Baron isn't moping around catches Landon with a Texas sized LARIAT as he turns around! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE That could be it just as quick! 1... 2... NO!! COLE Landon barely getting that left shoulder up. His team have the big advantage now, 2 on 4, Baron and Leon in a tough, tough position right now. Backing Maddix into the corner, Baron scales the ropes and calls on some support from the Lafayette crowd. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" ...punches in the corner! On rubber legs, Landon reaches a hand out in front of him and looks for the tag, using the ropes to guide him towards his corner. Baron is in his way though and drives a boot in to the gut, before launching into the BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL... ...BLOCKED!! Landon grabs onto the top rope and Baron crashes down hard on the back of his head!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE A very resourceful move from Landon right there, blocking that big DDT. And Baron is in even deeper trouble now. Landon gets the tag off to Cortez now, The Urban Legend quickly heading up top. With Baron seeing stars in the ceiling of the arena Todd then takes off and delivers a big Legdrop from the top floor. Cortez then rolls out of the ring, allowing Faqu to come in and squash Baron with a Big Splash!! Leg hooked by the Samoan... COLE Is that going to do it? 1... 2... 3!!! COLE Ohhh... it is. BUFFER Baron Windels has been eliminated! ****************** BARON WINDELS (Kings Of Leon) Team Entry: #6 Eliminated: 11th (overall), 7th (Team) Eliminations: None Eliminated By: Faqu (KOL) 1 - 4 (CE) ********************** As Baron is rolled to the floor, all eyes turn now to Leon Rodez, the sole representative of his team and on the wrong side of four on one odds. Leon helps Baron out of the ring and pats him on the back, while Christian Wright tags in and dares Leon back into the ring. COACH Go ahead Leon, take your buddy back and save yourself the humiliation of the beating of your life. No-one would think any the less of you. COLE That's not going to happen, I can guarantee you that Coach. This is going to have to be the performance of the century from Leon Rodez, but he's going to take it on. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" No partners, but Leon does have the crowd behind him at least and after checking Baron is okay Leon slides back in to face his fate. Wright immediately jumps him and drives his knee into the back and the back of the head, then stomps away while referee Chioda tries to get him off the ropes. Dragging Leon out, Wright lands with a European uppercut. And a second. Shooting Leon across the ring, The Natural then elevates him up for the Wright Off... NO, Leon manages to counter with a mid-air dropkick!! COLE Oh yeah! Out of the ring rolls Wright, allowing Landon in from behind. He jumps Leon and works him over with clubbing blows to the back, before spinning him around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chopping him in the chest. But Leon responds... *SLAP!* [i]"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"[/i] ...cracking Landon with a chop and causing him to howl in pain! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Landon! *SLAP!* [i]"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"[/i] Chop by Leon, squeal by Landon! Having had quite enough of that, Landon goes to the eyes and loads Leon into the ropes. As Landon goes up for the Hurri-Lanrana, Rodez goes tumbling through the legs though and he catches Maddix as he lands, spinning him around into the Blue Thunder Bomb! COLE It's Da Boom! Rodez is a one-man wrecking crew here! COACH That's okay, keep rotating and eventually he's gonna run out of gas! Out goes Landon and in comes Cortez, but he whiffs on a Roundhouse Kick and eats a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and cracking Cortez with the enziguri! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Cover by Leon... 1... 2... FAQU BREAKS IT UP! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Faqu continues to wail away on Leon and it's only Todd Cortez being pulled from the ring by Landon that prevents the referee from calling another DQ. Now officially legal, Faqu reaches down and grabs a hold of Leon's trapezius muscle and pulls him to his feet in a nerve hold. Somehow Leon manages to thrust out and break off the dehabilitating nervehold though, booting Faqu in the gut and double underhooking him... COACH Not gonna happen my friend. ...sure enough, Rodez can't get Faqu up for the Tiger Driver and gets backdropped by The Samoan Wrecking Ball. COLE That was a real mistake from Leon, perhaps getting caught up in the moment a little. How costly a mistake could that prove to be though? Slowly pulling himself back up, the adrenaline has drained away and Leon looks fatigued again as he slumps over... *SMACK!* ...AND GETS NAILED WITH A THRUST KICK TO THE JAWii! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH How about very? As Rodez lays flat out in the centre of the ring Faqu beats his chest primatively and lets out a primal yell. He then runs the ropes, leaping up and tucking in mid-air as he comes down with another Big Splash... ...MISSES!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE No, nobody home for the bigman this time around! Faqu knocks the wind out of himself and Leon quickly scrambles for the nearest corner. Up top, with the crowd all risen to their feet, Rodez makes sure of getting his footing before taking off... AND HITTING THE 450!!! Leon pulls up on the far leg... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE GOT HIM! That's one! BUFFER Faqu has been eliminated! ****************** FAQU (Cucaraca Enterprises) Team Entry: #2 Eliminated: 12th (overall), 5th (Team) Eliminations: Jamie O'Hara, Baron Windels Eliminated By: Leon Rodez (KOL) 1 - 3 (CE) ********************** The ecstatic fans are dampened only slightly as Christian Wright comes back in and beats down Leon again. Leon tries to fight with some bodyshots but Christian manages to overwhelm him with his attack before locking him into a front facelock. Wright looks for a suplex... but Leon counters with a small package! COLE YES! 1... 2... NO!! CW gets out just before three... and then beats Leon to his feet, dropping him with a Spear!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well Leon is giving these Lafayette fans plenty of reason to hope. But the odds are still stacked three on one. He may very well be fighting a losing battle, against three of the top competitors in the OAOAST with no-one to tag. COACH No doubt about it. Both men fight to their feet at roughly the same time, but it's clear that The Natural is in better shape at this point than his opponent. Leon simply staggers to his feet and walks into CW as he ducks low and tackles Rodez down with a double-leg takedown. Crossing over the legs, Wright then turns The Silky Smooth One over before he has a chance to realise what's happening, into the Texas Cloverleaf! COLE The Wallstreet Cloverleaf applied! How much can Leon possibly have left at this point to make the ropes? Walking back with the hold, Wright increases the angle of Leon's body to put him in even more discomfort. Rodez claws at the canvas and tries to crawl towards the ropes. First he manages to get his body a little flatter to the canvas which at least alieviates some of the pressure. Next is the crawl to the ropes. Wright tries to stand his ground, but The Grand Rapids Golden Child determinedly carries on crawling... ...AND REACHES THE ROPES! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" With a weary sigh, Wright heads to his corner and gets the tag to Landon, before going back over and catching Leon on the ropes. An irish whip sends Leon in, Wright this time catching him good on the rebound with the WRIGHT OFF! And Wright is able to position Rodez pretty much perfectly with the move, allowing Landon to follow up off the top with a Frog Splash! COACH That's it. Gotta be. 1... 2... KICKOUT!!! COACH Oh, come on! COLE Can you believe this effort? Leon Rodez may have a heart the size of Lafayette! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Climbing back to his feet, Landon says "that's it" and pulls Leon back up again. Barely able to stand, Leon is hooked up, ready for the Crash Landon '05, leant back by La Cucaracha and pulled... ...NO! Leon twists out of it and trips up Landon, looking for the LIONTAMER... ...but Landon blocks it and manages to kick back, sending Leon back into the turnbuckles! After hitting them with a thud, Leon then staggers back out and gets caught with the CRASH LANDON '05, brought down face first to a disappointed groan around the arena. COACH There went the heart. 1... 2... 3!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE And that's gonna do it for Leon, but what an effort. *DINGDING!* BUFFER Leon Rodez has been eliminated! ****************** LEON RODEZ (Kings Of Leon) Team Entry: #1 Eliminated: 13th (overall), 8th (Team) Eliminations: Faqu Eliminated By: Leon Rodez (KOL) 0 - 3 (CE) ********************** Jumping to his feet, Landon celebrates like he just won the World Title, apparantly unaware in the heat of the moment that although his team have won, the match itself isn't actually over yet! One person who does realise is Christian Wright though, sliding into the ring and lining up Landon from behind with hands clenched. COLE We're not done yet folks! There can only be one winner and it's not going to be Landon unless he realises where he is! The celebrations continue on from La Cucaracha though, so Wright charges... ...NO! Cortez cuts him off with a boot, pulling him into a standing headscissors AND SPIKING HIM DOWN WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS!!!! COLE There it is! The most devestating move in the OAOAST, nobody kicks out from that! 1... 2... 3!!!! COLE We are down to two! BUFFER Christian Wright has been eliminated! ****************** CHRISTIAN WRIGHT (Cucaracha Enterprises) Team Entry: #5 Eliminated: 14th (overall) Eliminations: Jock Mulligan Eliminated By: Todd Cortez ********************** A little confused by that announcement, Landon glances over at Michael Buffer from his victorious position on the middle turnbuckle, but just shrugs and goes back to punching the air. Behind him, Todd Cortez rolls CW out of the ring, looking up at his enforced team-mate... and smiling! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh... oh no... LANDON! LANDON, turn around! COLE It's down to Cortez and Landon! And I don't think Landon has any idea what's waiting for him! COACH Don't do this Todd... you just SAVED him, think of the contract! Think of Cucaracha Internacional! Think of your 6-Man Titles! Jumping down off the turnbuckles, Landon blows a theatrical kiss to the crowd, mistaking their cheers and standing on their feet as appreciation for him. Cortez continues to wait behind him, until finally Landon lets out one giant cheer of victory, turning around... ...into a boot, getting pulled into the standing headscissors... COACH NOOOOOOOOO!!! *WHAM~!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE RIOT. ACT. PLUS~! Cortez makes the cover on the completely motionless La Cucaracha, the fans going wild... 1... 2... 3!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the Torneo Cibernetico... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD CCOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRTTEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ****************** LANDON MADDIX (Cucaracha Enterprises) Team Entry: #6 Eliminated: 15th (overall) Eliminations: Tyler Bryant, Landon Maddix Eliminated By: Todd Cortez ********************** ************** TODD CORTEZ (Cucaracha Enterprises) Eliminations: Shayne Brave, Christian Wright, Landon Maddix SOLE SURVIVOR ************* Cortez's hand is raised in victory, as he stands over Landon, looking down at his stable mate. COLE What an incredible night. 16 men gave it their very all and in the end, for one fleeting moment, Todd Cortez got what he wanted. He got his hands on Landon Maddix once again. And now, "The Urban Legend" is going to AngleMania! COACH I can tell you this Michael, there's going to be hell to pay for this! That is Todd Cortez's SUPERIOR! Landon Maddix is the boss of Cucaracha Internacional and you don't cross the boss! We haven't heard the last of this, I promise you! COLE Well we definately haven't, we'll hear more about it next week, including what the future holds comes AngleMania VII! But for tonight in Lafayette, from Michael Cole and from the Coach, we leave you with the Torneo Cibernetico III winner, Todd Cortez! Goodnight! Cortez continues to stand over Landon, who has still yet to move for those of you who care, victorious as we FADE OUT.

COLE And we are ready for our main-event, the Torneo Cibernetico III. First time in eighteen months in the OAOAST and the stakes are high, as the one sole survivor tonight will get their choice of match at AngleMania VII. First of all, let's take a look at the batting orders... [QUOTE][b]"KINGS OF LEON"[/b] 1. Leon Rodez 2. Jock Mulligan 3. Tyler Bryant 4. MARV 5. MEL 6. Shayne Brave 7. Baron Windels 8. Jamie O'Hara [b]"CUCARACHA ENTERPRISES"[/b] 1. James Blonde 2. Faqu 3. Ned Blanchard 4. Simon Singleton 5. Christian Wright 6. Landon Maddix 7. Todd Cortez 8. Theodore Moneymaker[/QUOTE] COLE And what we can take out of that is, a very organised line-up from the Cucaracha Internacional/Enterprise conglomorate. The eight paired off in twos, up until the number 6 spot that is, as Theodore Moneymaker has apparantly used his financial clout to make sure he's in the number 8 spot meaning he's not paired up with Christian Wright. In stark contrast to the 'Kings Of Leon', where Leon Rodez has apparantly opted to mix things up a little, only The Christ Air Express starting the match side by side at spots 4 and 5. COACH Call me bias... COLE ... COACH ...but, I've got a feeling that 'strategy' isn't going to pay off too well. Let's face it, the teamwork advantage has to go with Cucaracha Enterprises. You've got team-mates paired up with team-mates, the two biggest forces in the OAOAST... besides the Corporation, obviously... I can't look past Cucaracha Enterprises tonight. COLE Okay and how about a prediction of who's going to win. COACH I just said, Cucaracha Enterprises. Great name, by the way. COLE No, the one sole survivor, Coach. Who's it gonna be? COACH .....Landondore Moneymaddix? COLE Let's go to Michael Buffer. BUFFER The following contest is the 2008 Torneo Cibernetico match!! The rules for this match are as follows. The two teams have submitted their pre-selected batting orders and will line up around the ring in that batting order. Those assigned number one will start the match and number two will start on the apron. Eliminations can occur via pinfall, submission, count-out or disqualification. You can only tag in and out within your batting order. Legal tags can be made when a wrestler leaves the ring, but only the next person in the batting order can replace him. Anyone who violates the batting order or refuses to enter the ring at his turn will be automatically disqualified! Only one man can win the Torneo Cibernetico match. In the event that more than one member of a team remains once the opposition team have been eliminated, then team members will face each other until there is one decisive winner. [i]"YEOW!"[/i] "Money Talks" by AC/DC hits and leads out the first team, the imaginatively titled Cucaracha Enterprises. The two factions head out in batting order meaning a bit of a jumbling of the two, Theodore Moneymaker trailing at the back as he stops to talk up his team and of course his vast wealth. BUFFER Introducing, team number one... CUCARACHA ENTERPRISES!! The team consisting of, the Torneo Cibernetico II winner, JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FAQU... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD... "THE VIDEO VOYEUR" SIMON SINGLETON... "THE NATURAL" CHRISTIAN WRIGHT... co-team captain, LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TODD CORTEZ... and, co-team captain, "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MONEYMAKER!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" As the eight assemble around the ring, "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company hits to lead out the opposition. Unlike his opposition captains, Leon Rodez leads the way proudly at #1, with his 'Kings' behind. BUFFER And introducing team number two. They are THE KINGS OF LEON!! The team of team captain, "SILKY SMOOTH" LEON RODEZ... "THE TEXAS TWISTER" JOCK MULLIGAN... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT... MARV and MEL of The Christ Air Express... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE... BARON WINDELS... and "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JAMIE O'HARA!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE The second Torneo Cibernetico in HeldDOWN~! history and probably the most star-studded, with all due respect to veterans of Cibernetico II. Sixteen of the top stars in the OAOAST and only one can come away with the honours tonight. The 12 men around the ring all assemble in their 'batting orders', while James Blonde tries to explain to Faqu why he has to stay on the apron. The Samoan eventually seems to get it and we're ready to get underway. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Well, here we go. Take the phones off the hook and put the IMs on 'BRB', this could be a long one. With the crowd and his team lending their vocal support from the get-go, Leon squares up with Blonde and waves him on. After some last minute advice from Landon, Blonde meets him in the centre and moves into a collar and elbow tie-up... NO, he stops short and boots Leon in the gut! Side headlock applied, Blonde laughs it up at the expense of The Silky Smooth One as he wrenches away on the head. Leon goes to the gut with a punch to shut him up though. And a second, before treading on the back of the knee, bringing Blonde down and manoeuvering his way out of the headlock into one of his own. Blonde quickly takes Leon back and shoots him off the ropes, before hurdling him with a leapfrog. Off the other side, Rodez again gets leapfrogged. Getting a little cocky Blonde calls for one more, going up again... and coming down into an Inverted Atomic Drop! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COACH Ooooooh! COLE That's one trend I don't think Blonde will be setting anytime soon. Hitting the ropes again Leon knocks Blonde down with a shoulder tackle. Looking up in shock Blonde waits for Leon to go again, scrambling to his feet, just in time to get knocked down again! "One more" mocks Rodez, taking a backstep. Blonde again scrambles to his feet. But he gets faked out and is subjected to a second Inverted Atomic Drop! Blonde hobbles around like an old man and gets taken down with by a schoolboy... 1... 2... No! Blonde beats Rodez to his feet and stuns him with a back elbow. His irish whip attempt is reversed though and Blonde gets sent up and over with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! As he rolls back up Leon then sets for a dropkick... but The Trendsetter takes a powder and scrambles out of the ring before more harm can come to him! COLE And the reigning Cibernetico champion not faring too well in the early going. COACH That doesn't matter though. This thing isn't going to end in five, ten minutes. You've gotta pace yourself and nobody, nobody knows that better than JB. As Blonde is comforted on the outside by his team-mates, in steps Faqu to take over for him. Leon sizes the big Samoan up, but decides against it and tags in his bigger partner, Jock Mulligan. Beating his chest, Faqu suddenly lets out a cry and charges forward at Jock just as he steps into the ring, the big Texan just about able to sidestep him and send Faqu crashing into the turnbuckles! As Faqu turns around he then finds himself under attack from a barrage of Texan rights, keeping him backed up in the corner until Jock is all out of ammo and fires up the crowd! The moment of taking his eye off of his opponent costs Mulligan however, Faqu coming out of the corner with a big clothesline! COACH There's the danger man Michael. Faqu, he just doesn't care. He'll take it to you all night, three hundred pounds or not, he's got tremendous stamina. Jock pulls himself up and gets caught with a thrust from Faqu. Referee Mike Chioda warns Faqu about going to the throat, albeit from a distance. Following Jock into the neutral corner, Faqu lands a kick before looking for an irish whip. A reversal from Jock sends Faqu corner to corner though and back out, into an impressive BAAAAACK bodydrop!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" With the bigman reeling, into the ropes heads Jock. A clothesline staggers the Samoan but doesn't put him down. A second time, same outcome. Not one to give up lightly Jock tries again, ducking underneath a Faqu clothesline this time and nailing him with a dropkick on the run, putting Faqu out through the ropes and to the floor!! COLE The Texas Twister is tearing it up! In steps Ned to take over from Faqu, so Jock follows suit and brings his team's #3 in as well, Tyler Bryant. COLE Fresh men in and plenty of history between these two and their respective teams, D*LUX and The Beverly Hills Blonds. Blanchard and Tyler square up and exchange some 'pleasantries', before The Handsome Hustler shoves Tyler in the chest. Tyler comes right back with a shove of his own. So Ned SLAPS him! Already fired up coming in, the slap seems to set off the timebomb and Tyler suddenly explodes with a flurry of right hands!! Singleton looks on from the apron in despair as Ned gets backed up in the corner, Tyler pounding away with right after right, the fans behind each and every one of them. Eventually Tyler is made to stop and he wrings out the arm, whipping Ned across the ring. Putting his foot up, Blanchard is able to stop himself in the corner and quickly drops down to all fours to crawl through the legs of the onrushing Tyler. Tyler too stops himself though, jumping up to the middle rope and catching Ned turning around with a missile dropkick as he turns around! Cover... 1... 2... No! COACH Maybe Ned shouldn't have had all those brewskis earlier after all. COLE I don't know about being drunk, but Ned sure looks punch drunk right about now. After a couple more rights Tyler loads Ned into the ropes, ducking his head for a backdrop. Having seen that twice already tonight Ned is ready and puts on the brakes, hooking up Tyler for a Fisherman's Suplex. Ned only gets Tyler up halfway though, before momentum shifts and he finds himself in a small package... 1... 2... No! Swing and a miss from Ned, Tyler underneath and looking for a kick. Ned catches it... *SMACK!* ...only to 'catch' a kick upside the head from the other side! Dazed, The Handsome Hustler staggers around and eventually ends up falling out through the ropes and to the floor. The referee calls the tag and in comes Simon. But before he can get to his partner's aid, Tyler is taking flight, wiping Ned out on the floor with a pescado!! COLE Oh yeah! "Tremendous" Tyler, taking flight! COACH That was uncalled for if you ask me. Ned made a legal tag by rolling to the floor and still Tyler jumps on him, on a guy who's probably got diminished capacity anyway! Simon doesn't have time to mourn for his partner as in comes MARV to oppose him. The two pick up right where they leave off most weeks on Syndicated as Simon brushes off MARV and sends him running the ropes. Drop down by Simon, MARV up and over on the rebound. Singleton tries rushing MARV with a kitchen sink like knee but MARV manages to baseball slide his way underneath it! Back up quickly, MARV leaps up onto Simon's upper thighs and looks for a monkey flip. Singleton shoves him off though and connects with a dropkick right to the jaw! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Now that was picture perfect. A high definition dropkick, if you will! COLE Is The Siclopse high-def compatible? COACH Oh, you bet. Simon Singleton is a man at the forefront of modern technology. High definition, Blue Ray discs, UMDs, you name it, The Video Voyeur has pioneered it in the world of filmography. Taking his time to make sure all the best shots are gonna be there waiting for him ready to edit tommorrow morning, Simon picks MARV back up. With a hook of the head he takes MARV up, looking for a suplex. But MARV is able to float over the back and pulls Simon down with a roll-up... 1... 2... NO! COLE Oh, we almost had the first elimination right there! MARV waits against the ropes for Singleton to charge him, backdropping him up and over the top. With a hold of the rope Simon manages to land safely on the apron though. By the hair he pulls MARV down, then slingshots back in and twists so that he comes down with a body splash... 1... 2... MARV grabs the rope. COLE Smart move right there on MARV's part, no need to waste energy trying to kick out there. Frustrated, Simon kicks MARV out of the ring, which in turn brings MEL in for his team. Simon takes a long look at MEL and smirks as he reaches back, allowing fellow Enterprise member Christian Wright to come in as well. COLE You notice in the early going, nobody wants to stay in for too long. Everyone wants to conserve their energy for later on because you can guarantee they're going to need it. And with seven partners to work through there's no reason not to keep a fresh man in if possible. COACH And that's where the advantage lies. On Leon's team, you've got a bunch of tag teams that maybe team up with each other now and then. Where-as on the other team you've got The Enterprise and you've got Cucaracha Internacional. Maybe not a lot of cohesion between the groups, but a lot of cohesion within them. COLE But remember, it's only going to come down to one man, one winner. Remember at the last Cibernetico it came down to James Blonde and Faqu. It could be the same here... it could come down to Ned versus Simon, MARV versus MEL, who knows? At the end there's only going to be one winner of the Cibernetico. The crowd get behind MEL as he locks up with CW, the money man grabbing a side headlock. Down to the mat he takes MEL and hangs onto the headlock, until he finds himself trapped in a headscissors. Breaking that, Wright comes back up to his feet and takes MEL down with a second side headlock. Again MEL scissors the head and again Wright is forced to break it, climbing back to his feet... and surprising MEL with a knee to the gut! Landon applauds from the apron, as CW presses MEL against the ropes... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and lays into him with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And another one! Wright then pulls MEL off the ropes and sends him for the ride. Stepping into the middle of the ring, CW then sets himself for a Snap Powerslam... but MEL hangs onto the top rope and stops his momentum. Wright quickly unsets himself and he charges... right the way over the top, as MEL lowbridges the top rope!! COLE Look out here, MEL looking to get some air! Running the length of the ring MEL builds up momentum for a dive, only for Theodore Moneymaker to leave his post and drag Wright out of the line of danger! For a moment it looks like things may break down as Leon and Baron head over to complain about Moneymaker's involvement, but outside referee Charles Robinson quickly gets them back to their side of the ring. Back in the ring meanwhile, MEL shrugs it off and gets back to business as he encourages Landon Maddix in to face him. Landon keeps close to his corner though and dismissively waves for MEL to go make a tag. Which, eventually, he does, to bring in Shayne Brave. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COLE Ah. A warm welcome into the match for La Cucaracha. Landon looks out at the crowd angrily and leans back in his corner, telling Cortez to put his hands over his ears to block out the chants. The unresponsive Cortez doesn't though and Landon has to put up with the abuse as he circles out of the ring. He and Shayne lock up and after a brief jockeying for position, a handful of hair helps guide Shayne down onto his back on the mat! COACH Great takedown! 1... 2... Shoulder up from Shayne, the two still locked at collar and elbow. Shayne climbs back to his feet and again they jockey for position. Figuring if it ain't broke don't fix it, Landon goes for the hair again. But this time he gets caught red handed by the referee and quickly lets go before he can get Shayne down, leaving himself open for an armdrag! Back up, Landon gets swept over with another armdrag! And a third, sending Maddix backpedalling and encouraging Shayne to calm down. COLE There's some great takedowns, some fair takedowns. And Landon is forced to slow things down a little. COACH Landon's a former World Champion, he isn't being 'forced' to do anything. Shayne follows the retreating Maddix back into a corner and looks for a right hand... but a boot cuts him off. COACH See, it was all strategy. Spinning Shayne around, Landon then pens him in the corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and lands a chop! Down to a knee goes Shayne giving Landon time to shake out his hand... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and hit a second chop! Irish whip out of the corner follows and Landon looks for a charge in the corner, only for Shayne to float up and over him and hit the ropes. Stopping short of the turnbuckles, Maddix turns around and ducks his head as Shayne flies towards him, "Showtime" adjusting and executing a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout! Swing and a miss with a kick by Landon, Shayne off the ropes again and hitting a crossbody... 1... 2... Kickout! Shayne keeps on moving and Landon is forced to drop down, Shayne going up and over and springing off the middle rope. With a mid-air twist he tries to catch Landon with another body block, but Landon catches him on the way down with a boot. Maddix then sets Shayne up, looking for a suplex. Up and over floats Shayne however, before dropkicking Landon in the back and sending him spilling out through the ropes and to the floor! COLE "Showtime" Shayne able to keep one step ahead of the former World Heavyweight Champion so far... AND LOOK OUT!! With his bearings still all over the place, Landon looks up to see Shayne Brave soaring through the ropes, wiping him out with a TOPÉ!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COACH Don't these idiots know a tag when they see one!? COLE Well leaving the ring does constitute a tag. And that's one of the greatest tags ever, from Shayne to big Baron Windels. In steps Baron, as does Todd Cortez. The opposing #7s slow things down a little as they size each other up, before locking up, centre of the ring. Baron overpowers Cortez and backs him up into a neutral corner before giving a clean break. Cortez breaks clean as well which doesn't go down great with Theodore Moneymaker on the apron, his 'advice' to Todd earning him a few words from Baron. COLE There's a lot of issues in this match but it's safe to say everyone would love to get their hands on Moneymaker here tonight. Not just because of the saga with Jade Rodez, but lets not forget, it was Moneymaker's Director Of Security CPA who cost The Lone Star Gunslingers the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. The two go to lock up again, but this time Cortez avoids the lock up by kicking Baron in the leg. A couple more kicks to the thigh muscle leave Baron hobbling and he quickly palms Cortez back a step. Cortez keeps coming with the kicks though, so Baron grabs a side headlock. Cortez pushes Windels off into the ropes, getting knocked down by a shoulder tackle on the rebound. Baron then hits the ropes again and Cortez looks for a leapfrog, but he gets caught in mid-air and Powerslammed over to the mat!! COLE Man, what power! 226 pounds, caught with ease! Hook of the leg by Windels... 1... 2... No! Wringing out the arm Baron controls Cortez, but again The Urban Legend fires off a kick to the leg. A second kick finally chops Baron down to size and Todd grabs a headlock of his own. Baron soon powers back to his feet however, lifting Cortez up and looking for a back suplex. Floating over, Cortez lands on his feet behind and looks for a back suplex of his own, which Baron blocks with a hard elbow to the neck. Baron then hits the ropes and looks for a Texas sized lariat, which Cortez is able to counter, ducking the line and hitting an STO to take Windels down! COLE That size difference isn't such a problem when you've got great speed and technique like that. The martial arts background shining through from Todd Cortez. As Baron rolls out of the ring, Jamie O'Hara vaults in and a cheer goes up. The mood is thoroughly spoiled however by Theodore Moneymaker, who demands and recieves a tag. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well we've worked our way through to the clean-up guys. Moneymaker in with Jamie O'Hara, who you'd imagine wants Nathaniel Black one on one at AngleMania should he win the Cibernetico. COACH That's gonna be a lot easier said than done. I'm sure Teddy has some big plans for that AngleMania match too. The Billion Dollar Heir looks down on O'Hara, sneering at his baggy pants and tanktop. "This is the kinda man you cheer for?" he asks aloud, O'Hara encouraging him to stop talking and bring it. So Moneymaker does, burying a knee to the breadbasket and clubbing away with some forearms to the back. An irish whip sends O'Hara in, Moneymaker ducking his head casually and O'Hara running right over him via a leapfrog. Moneymaker stands back up with a confused look on his face, missing with a back elbow. O'Hara then springs to the middle rope, wiping out Teddy with a twisting crossbody... 1... 2... No! COLE 'Mister' Moneymaker's going to have a tough time keeping up with Jamie O'Hara, that's for sure. Trying to catch O'Hara proves tough as Moneymaker lunges for him, J-OH evading his grasp and quickly going to the middle turnbuckle. Teddy charges in and eats a boot to the face. O'Hara then leaps onto his shoulders and pulls Moneymaker over with a Hurricanrana... 1... 2... NO! COLE Could you imagine how embarrased Moneymaker would be if he were the FIRST man eliminated? Especially starting at eight in the batting order. COACH Not gonna happen. Stumbling back up, Moneymaker bumbles into a sweep of the legs. Jamie quickly sets himself and the side and takes off, hitting a Standing Corkscrew Splash! COACH Oh no! 1... COLE You were saying? 2... NO!! Jumping back to his feet again O'Hara turns his attention to the corner, where he sees Leon Rodez next in the batting order and practically begging to be tagged in! Moneymaker grabs a hold of O'Hara's foot though and refuses to let the tag be made. Kicking back, O'Hara tries to shrug Teddy off, which is when James Blonde runs into the ring and clothesline him down from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Well there's the first cheapshot of the match. Hope you had 'pretty quickly' on your sweepstakes at home. By the time the ref gets to reprimanding Blonde, Moneymaker has rolled from the ring and Blonde is now legal in the match. He stomps away on O'Hara before stopping to mock Leon, telling him how close he got to getting his hands on Moneymaker. Dragging Jamie up, Blonde scoops and slams the Brit, coming off the ropes with a double stomp and covering... 1... 2... No! Blonde quickly sits O'Hara up, applying a ground version of the abdominal stretch. COACH I don't see O'Hara doing many flips right about now. Sure, he's real quick, he's hard to catch. But when you catch him, he's just some scrawny kid who's fun to stretch around. COLE And Blonde slowing O'Hara right down here. Second time Blonde has been in tonight as we've gone right through the batting orders already. Shuffling on his BUTT, O'Hara reaches out with a leg trying to get to the bottom rope. Unfortunately, he tries to do this on the Enterprise/Cucaracha Internacional side of the ring and there's six guys on hand to pull the rope back a few extra inches. Referee Chioda gets them to knock it off, but by then Blonde has released the hold anyway and executes a backbreaker on O'Hara. Reaching out, he then tags in Faqu, a groan going up from the fans as they instantly see the size difference increase. COACH Now we're going to have some fun. COLE That's really a matter of opinion. COACH Okay, okay. [i]I'm[/i] going to have some fun. Better? With O'Hara writhing on the mat Faqu stalks his prey, slowly picking O'Hara up. A big headbutt knocks O'Hara right back against the ropes, which end up being the only thing holding him upright. Faqu drags O'Hara out and hits another headbutt, this time staggering J-OH into the corner. With O'Hara slumped against the turnbuckles Faqu then walks away to the opposite side of the ring and beats his chest... FAQU SAMOAAAAAAA!!! ...NOBODY HOME!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Faqu misses his charge in the corner and as he staggers out into the middle of the ring, O'Hara tumbles forward and gets the tag to Leon Rodez!! Leon leaps into action, taking it right to Faqu with right hands. Off the ropes, a clothesline doesn't put Faqu down. A second fails to drop him as well. So Leon quickly heads to the top. COLE Looking to take a risk here, anything to put the big Samoan down! Setting himself up top, Leon soars with a crossbody... but Faqu CATCHES him, with ease! Faqu quickly slams Leon and tags in Ned, the next in line. Following suit, Ned now heads up top and comes flying with an elbow drop... but MISSES! Leon manages to roll out of the way and rolls out of the ring, bringing in Jock Mulligan! COLE Momentum is shifting, back and forth here! Jock rushes in and hustles The Handsome Hustler back to his feet. Sent in for the ride, Ned rebounds back into a big Flying Lariat from Jock, who scrambles on top and hooks a leg... 1... 2... NO! COLE Almost had him! COACH Come on Ned. Think of all the cred this'll give you with the Latinos if you win this. The mamacitas won't be able to kepe their hands off of you! Still looking dis-orientated, Ned is loaded into the ropes again. Singleton is able to reach out and get a blind tag this time though, Jock scooping Ned up for a slam only for Ned to float over the back. A quick thrust kick to the gut from the now legal Video Voyeur doubles Jock over, before Ned hooks Jock up, using a clothesline from Simon to assist his back suplex! COACH There we go, tag team wrestling at it's finest. Simon observes Jock through his handscreen, before he makes the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Pulling Jock back up, Simon doesn't learn from his mistakes and again takes way too much time looking for a piledriver. Mulligan is able to counter with a backdrop and dives to his corner, getting the tag to Tyler Bryant! Up top, Tyler succeeds where others failed with a crossbody from the top... 1... 2... NO! COLE Man, Tyler is holding nothing back here tonight. He wants this Cibernetico and the match of his choice at AngleMania VII that goes with winning it. COACH Well if he wants it so bad, he better hold something back for later. Otherwise he's gonna have nothing left when it counts. Tyler pulls Simon back up, but The Video Voyeur gets in a rake of the eyes and crawls over to tag in Christian Wright. In rushes The Natural... right into a drop toehold, allowing Tyler to get the tag off to MARV. MARV comes in and wrings out the arm, then just as quickly tags out to brother MEL, allowing them five seconds to set up a double team. Wright gets caught with a double dropkick to the knees, then double basement dropkicks to the face while on said knees. Lifting MARV up onto his shoulders, MEL then launches MARV down with an assisted back senton right across CW's chest! COLE Sent From Above! This could be the first elimination, right here. As MARV rolls out, MEL covers... 1... 2... NO! Another tag is made and Shayne Brave comes in, getting in a punch off the top as MEL holds Wright open. After firing up the crowd, Shayne then runs the ropes... and gets a KNEE in the back from Landon Maddix!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Come on! One of the referees had to see that, surely! COACH Not the way Landon cheats. All the members of Shayne's team complain away to the referees as Landon waves Wright out and Christian quickly slides to the floor, allowing Landon to come in legally and capitalise with a Lungblower! Hooks the leg... 1... 2... NO!! Even after getting away with his cheapshot, Landon has the audacity to accuse the referee of poor officiating as he argues with the count. With Shayne hurt though, Maddix decides not to waste too much time with the ref, going back on the attack. A couple of stomps work over the back, before Landon takes a cheapshot at Baron Windels on the apron. Already feeling agrieved, he and the rest of his team rise to the bait. Which costs Shayne, as while the refs try to calm down The Kings Of Leon, Landon feeds Shayne to the wolves on his side and they lay into him with right hands from the floor! "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" COLE And I don't know who that's being chanted at, the attackers or the referees. This is ridiculous, it's SIX on one right now! It's a mugging! As the referees begin to gain some control, the six men on the floor go back to crouching against the apron as if nothing happened. All except Faqu that is, who has to be calmed down by Blonde. Meanwhile Landon drags Shayne away from the ropes and casually makes the tag to Todd Cortez, the one man who didn't get involved in the attack. COACH Wow, what a gesture. Cortez comes in and scoops Shayne up off the mat. With a hold of the throat, he then takes him up and down with the Urban Assault and stacks him up... 1... 2... 3!!! BUFFER Shayne Brave has been eliminated! ****************** SHAYNE BRAVE (Kings Of Leon) Team Entry: #6 Eliminated: 1st (overall), 1st (Team) Eliminations: None Eliminated By: Todd Cortez (KOL) 7 - 8 (CE) ********************** COLE Well, after that assault, it was no surprise Shayne was done. COACH You're right. The Urban Assault is a great move, especially when it's set up so perfectly by Landon Maddix. That's why they're such a great team. COLE Boy I wish I got a copy of that Cucaracha Internacional propaganda you seem to read from. Sounds like a laugh. As Shayne is rolled out and checked on by Leon and Tyler specifically, Cortez gets back to business with Baron Windels. Once again he goes after the leg to try and chop the big Texan down, but Baron avoids his single leg trip and grabs a waistlock to lift him up from his hands and knees. Carrying Cortez to a corner, Baron then unloads with right hands on The Urban Legend. Trying to cover up, Todd gets forced down to a knee before Baron yields and pulls him back up, looking for a whip. Cortez manages to reverse and Baron hits the buckles... but he gets a boot up to block a charge from Cortez. To the outside, Windels then climbs to the top and as Cortez stumbles around trying to get his bearings, he turns right around into a TOP ROPE LARIAT, almost hooking his head off of his shoulders!! COLE Wow, the 6'7", 265 Baron taking flight! Cover by Baron... 1... 2... NO! Baron picks Todd back up and slams him. Tag is then made to Jamie O'Hara, who allows Baron to gorilla press him over his head. Positioning himself, Baron then throws Jamie up AND LETS HIM TUMBLE DOWN WITH A 450 SPLASH... ...INTO RAISED KNEES!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH BWAHAHAHAHA!! COLE ...tremendous body control to pull off that 450... but, no reward in the landing. COACH Oh, that was priceless. Roll it back! COLE We're live, pal. COACH I'm not talking to you moron, I'm talking to Si! Sure enough, Simon has the Siclopse right there and gives Coachman an exclusive replay right there. What the Siclopse doesn't pick up is Theodore Moneymaker tagging in and taking over on O'Hara again. He stomps away at the midsection, before changing it up with a kneedrop to the gut. A second knee drives in. And a third. Moneymaker then pauses to flash the "money fingers", tormenting Leon on the apron once again. With that out of the way, he covers... 1... 2... No! Moneymaker drags O'Hara to the corner, tagging out to Blonde. The Trendsetter takes over with a snapmare and right back to his seated abdominal stretch from earlier (for those of you with good memories!), even more painful than before for Jamie. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" COLE This crowd want Leon back in, because O'Hara is suffering right now. The better cohesion on the Maddix/Moneymaker side is beginning to tell at the moment. COACH Just as I predicted. COLE Way to go. As Blonde pulls on the hold O'Hara starts to try and fight, so Blonde digs his free elbow into the ribs and grinds it around a little. That extra punishment quietens Jamie down for a few seconds, but he then realises where he is and reaches his foot onto the ropes, no-one there to pull it out of reach this time. Breaking, Blonde picks O'Hara back up and snapmares him over again. This time it's to position him by the turnbuckles, climbing to the middle rope and slapping Faqu on the back before driving the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop into the face of The Birmingham Bad Boy! Blonde then holds O'Hara in place, while Faqu follows up with an almighty legdrop!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH That's it, he's done. Cover by Faqu... 1... 2... NO!! Faqu chases off the referee, dragging O'Hara limply behind him as he does so. O'Hara looks out of it and Faqu intends to make sure of it, as he hauls him to his feet. A simple shove sends O'Hara back against the ropes, bouncing back... *SMACK!* ...into a Thrust Kick... ...but the momentum of the kick sends O'Hara all the way to the floor bringing in Leon Rodez once again!! COLE There went the gameplan and here comes Leon! Apparantly Leon learnt from last time and doesn't even bother with the clotheslines, coming in with a schoolboy roll-up... 1... 2... No! Faqu gets back up and ducks from Leon, who tries to go over top with a sunset flip. Nothing doing though and Faqu sits out... BUT LEON MOVES!! Faqu ends up buttdropping canvas and takes a dropkick to the face while seated, Leon making another quick cover... 1... 2... No! Before Faqu can get up, Leon slides out and waves Jock on in to try his luck. The Texas Twister runs in and uses his full 232 pounds to knock Faqu down with a body press... COLE HighCrossBodyPurpleMonkeyDishwasher! 1... 2... No! Faqu kicks out, sending Jock rolling to the floor. COLE Here comes Tyler now. It's like a wave of men, all trying to knock the big giant down and out! Tyler catches Faqu just as he getting up with a clothesline, SENDING BOTH MEN TUMBLING OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!! COLE WOAH! COACH Did you feel that? The sofa moved, I'm sure it did. With both men to the floor, in step Ned Blanchard and MARV to replace them. The two meet head on, exchanging right hands, an exchange which MARV surprisingly seems to get the better off with rapid fire shots. Faqu and Tyler are seperated on the floor as the action continues, MARV knocking Ned down and hitting him with a Standing Moonsault! 1... 2... Kickout! MARV waits for Ned to get back up, hooking the head and running the ropes for the Acid Drop... ...but Ned gets underneath and throws MARV backwards to counter! MARV lands on his feet and spins Ned around, but gets a knee to the gut and hooked up for the Slingshot Suplex. However, MARV is able to get himself over the ropes rather than landing on them, coming down safely on the apron. With a quick pop of the hips he lifts Ned for a suplex... but Ned also lands safely on the apron! Seeing his partner in danger, Simon quickly runs down the apron and clubs MARV in the back, which sends both he and Ned down to the arena floor. Seeing this, MEL rushes in and looks to chop out Simon's legs. Simon sees it coming though and vaults up, MEL's baseball slide instead hitting Ned in the back, causing him to sandwich MARV against the guardrail!! COLE That wasn't what MEL had in mind! Not sure who got the worst of that. Back inside, Simon grabs MEL and pulls him back in, prompting them to go toe to toe. As they exchange the rights shot for shot, Ned dusts himself off and slides back into the ring, jumping MEL from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Now wait a minute. Ned left the ring, he's tagged out. He should be at the back of the batting order, not in the ring! COACH He's got five seconds to get in and out. COLE But he already got out! Referee Chioda tries to explain that to Ned, as he and Simon put the boots to MEL. But before he can actual get the right Beverly Hills Blond out, MARV suddenly re-appears and lays into them both with right hands! Chioda is left waving his hands helplessly as Ned and Simon manage to get back on MARV and set up stereo whips on The Christ Air Express. Both MARV and MEL pull off baseball slides on the rebound though, sliding through the legs of Ned and Simon before pulling out stereo Dropsaults! *DINGDING!* COACH Huh? COLE Bell has rung here, I'm not sure what the decision is. Ned and Simon both roll out of the ring, with MARV and MEL in hot pursuit. And as the fists continue to fly, referees begin to pile out from the back to try and break things up. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen... the referee has disqualified the teams of The Beverly Hills Blonds AND The Christ Air Express for failing to conform with the Cibernetico batting order. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ****************** NED BLANCHARD (Cucaracha Enterprises) Team Entry: #3 Eliminated: 2nd (overall), 1st (Team) Eliminations: None Eliminated By: DQ ********************** ****************** SIMON SINGLETON (Cucaracha Enterprises) Team Entry: #4 Eliminated: 3rd (overall), 2nd (Team) Eliminations: None Eliminated By: DQ ********************** ****************** MARV (Kings Of Leon) Team Entry: #4 Eliminated: 4th (overall), 2nd (Team) Eliminations: None Eliminated By: DQ ********************** ****************** MEL (Kings Of Leon) Team Entry: #5 Eliminated: 5th (overall), 3rd (Team) Eliminations: None Eliminated By: DQ (KOL) 5 - 6 (CE) ********************** The announcement doesn't dampen the fight between The Blonds and The CAE however and they continue to brawl away in the aisle, with confusion reigning around the ring with everybody else. COLE A big call by referee Chioda. We're down to six on five here in the Cibernetico and while we try and retain some order here, we're going to go to a commercial. Stay tuned to HeldDOWN~! for the conclusion of the Torneo Cibernetico III!! [b]*COMMERCIAL BREAK!*[/b]

Yeah, I'm gonna need some added time, go figure an 8 v 8 match and running another fed took up more of my time than I thought. Patty knows of this. I feel compelled to clue everyone else in though. Thanks.

It's cool Taiga. I've got an extension on another match anyway, plus SIN got his match in comfortably before deadline (by, like, a day) so I doubt he would have needed the extra time you would have got from an extension, which I would have given, considering. That rambling = No auto-job.

To be fair though, the battle royal isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. It's not filler, by any means. But I guess it's akin to the Cruiserweight Open at WM20. I don't see Chavo dropping the title, so the actual title match would probably have a screwy ending if it's anyone of any note. If it's Kane, you're looking at a DQ or CO or something, build to a future title match, not really a WrestleMania moment. If Colin won the battle royal, at least you get a memorable moment out of it. You can have Kane and Palumbo brawling away and Colin ends up winning by pure dumb luck. The crowd would, I'd venture, be solidly behind him by the time Chavo gets to the ring. And you can give Colin maybe a couple of hope spots before Chavo finishes him off. Maybe it's more wishful thinking than just thinking, I dunno. If anything, I don't think the timing is right as far as his team with Dreamer and how far along he is as far as getting offence goes.

From this perspective, I have no problem with it what-so-ever. It's not like I watch Trish going through a table and think "Oh my god, how could they subject HER to that!?" That's such a sexist point of view. So long as the female is trained to take the bump and is willing to take the bump, I don't really see the big problem. Is a female wrestler any less safe taking a move from a male competitor than a female one? Is Lita in any more danger from a chairshot from Stone Cold than she is a chairshot from, say, Victoria? Is Stephanie really going to be any more endangered by an elbow drop than anyone else The Rock delivered it to? No. I'd imagine, if anything, most guys would be more careful with the gals than the guys. Where do you draw the line on this 'abuse' to women, too? Are you disturbed by Chyna wrestling Chris Jericho (besides the obvious reasons )? Would you be disturbed by Awesome Kong taking a move from a male opponent? Or is it just the frail petite young women that it's wrong to subject to wrestling against men? From a perspective of the image it sends out, I'm not a big fan of it in most cases. But I'm certainly not 'disturbed' by it, so long as it's within reason.

Judging by the automatic love for the Cena/HBK match from Raw, I'd say the latter. If nothing else the fact there were no falls really hurt the crowd reaction with the Ironman rules, in a way that it wouldn't in a one fall match. Everybody knew they were going 60 so the drama was really lacking at points in the match, from a fan POV. Look at it this way. In a one fall match, the longer it goes the more likely the match is to end and the more into nearfalls you are. In the Ironman setting, the longer the match went, the more you suspected they were either going to go the distance 0-0, or, the more you suspected that any fall would only happen late on. So there'd be more drama surrounding a one fall match that went 60 minutes.

Maybe if you're Teddy Hart.

Am I the only one who thinks Colin'll win the battle royal?

Oh, you didn't hear? Drug addiction can be cured by giving someone a World Title. I read it on TSM.

Boy, didn't see THAT coming! Not that I'm his biggest fan, but Miz really got the short end of the stick if he doesn't end up making it into MITB anyway. I'd imagine he gets in on a second chance somehow though. Having one Tag Champion in and one out seems a little strange.

OMG JEFF'S NEW MUSIK SUX SO BAD HE HAD 2 TAKE TEH DRUGS AGAIN!!1!1 All this talk of Jeff getting a push 'if he cleans up his act' from certain people is pretty optimistic. I think it really depends on what it is. If it was something recreational then maybe he'll have time to rebuild his reputation again. But if it's something like pain pills then I doubt it's something he's going to be able to kick with a magic click of the fingers, just because we all wanna see him win the World Title at Summerslam, yippee! It's obvious his body is in pretty bad shape and he often looked in obvious pain just walking out and climbing the ropes. So if it is something to do with painkillers, there's obviously an underlying problem that needs to be dealt with. One which won't be solved by 'hey, let's give him a World Title push when his suspension is up'. And this has to be the stupidest post in this thre... ....oh dear.

And 100% cash. To say Cena's "not over at all" is really beyond dignifying with a reply. I mean, with Cena "not being over", what the HELL does that say about everybody else? Because he is the biggest draw since the Attitude Era they've had. It's in the numbers for Christ's sake. And at least the antiCena people who still haven't rolled out of that derailed bandwagon are resorting to his crowd reactions instead of the silly "he has no wrestling holds, blah, blah, blah" shit because he carried shawn micheals through an extended chain wrestling sequence tonight, and those people seem to like that stuff, at least when Kurt Angle and Fucking Murderer used to do it. I see where your loyalties lie, my friend.

I can buy all of that. He is really inconsistent, one week he'll go out and have a great match and get a great reaction, the next his kicks'll look like shit and he'll nosedive from the ring onto his head twice and risk injuring himself or something stupid like that. And I can certainly buy into Punk thinking he's a star. But everybody should know by now, 'Punk is in the doghouse' stories are a dime a dozen and don't mean anything. It's like every fortnight one of the reports will trot this out.

I'm curious about how they use the MITB matches, because really there's a limit as to how many straight rematches they can do. The advert for RAW over here specifically mentioned Punk's name and his only Mania match was last year. And that won't be a straight rematch for many reasons, mainly since King Booker was in it. I smell a few loopholes over the course of the show, put it that way. EDIT: Also, if Sheik is appearing and not promoing, it'll be an outrage. I'm still pissed about the tease of him getting his own talk-show last year.

Ah, I remember the days when WCW used to air over here in England and because it was on in the evening they actually did cover up weapon shots with Batman effects. And CHIKARA, it's moved away from character stuff a little more recently. You've still got plenty of it, like The Colony, Hydra, Los Ice Creams, but it's much more resembling of a 'straight' indy than it used to be say two years ago. Definately not on HUSTLE levels.

Brought to you by American Express Taped: March 6th, 2007 First air date: March 8th, 2007 (check local listings for airings in your area) Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan Hey, hey, another delay! Yes, it's OAOAST Syndicated. This aired on Saturday. Honest. And as ever Jesse Ventura and Tony Schiavone were there to call the action for us, featuring The Sooner Bruisers in action, Cuban Wall taking on Deuce Deuce Bigelow and a main-event pitting The Enterprise up against "Tremendous" Tyler of D*LUX and the Syndicated superstars, The Christ Air Express! But first, Syndicated was hijacked by another mainstay Vinny Valentine! The Disco Duck limped sadly to the ring with microphone in hand and demanded that footage of his main-event match last week be replayed. The footage that did play focused specifically on Mister Warrior's total destructicity of Vinny and his precious Studio OAOAST neon sign. "Do you squares realise how much neon glass signs cost nowadays!?" lamented Vinny. Pulling out an inhaler from his glistening silver jacket, Valentine announced that the exposure to lighttube gas and weird pink smoke last week has exacerbated his childhood asthma and prevented him from dancing at his usual dry-ice filled haunts all week. And for that, he promised to make Mister Warrior pay! But fear not, because Vinny vowed that he would be back, like that movie great, Arno... uh, "John Travolta". ***Vinny Valentine -VS- Moracca*** Sooner than he expected, as it turned out, as "It's Raining Men" hit and Moracca danced out to the ring. Not even Vinny's breathing condition would stop the referee from calling for the bell and starting the contest as normal. Moracca didn't take long to give Valentine the run around, with an array of armdrags and headscissors, Vinny doing more rotations than a disco ball in the first couple of minutes before buying himself some time with a suspiciously low shot. Valentine put the heavy duty booty on Moracca after that and looked to have the match sewn up after catching Moracca in the centre of the ring with a big Piledriver. But Vinny was forced to stop mid-way up the ropes to take a couple of puffs of his inhaler. That allowed Moracca time to recover and roll out of the way of some Night Fever (Alabama Jam) action! Moracca ran Vinny around the ring with kicks to the backside before picking up the pace with some more aerial attacks. The flaming luchador then caught Vinny in the rear naked choke and started to dry hump him into submission... until Vinny pulled out a quick counter, clotheslining Moracca over the top rope! Vinny then put on his Boogie Shoes (Shining Wizard) and scored the pinfall victory! Winner: Vinny Valentine, via pinfall Vinny's celebrations were not to last though, as the ring began to flood with thick pink smoke! "Black Sweat" hit and MISTER WARRIOR ran out... but Vinny managed to escape, coughing up his lungs as he staggered off to the back. So Warrior proceeded to prove to the world that queering really doesn't make the world work as he plastered Moracca with the Man Event Spinebuster~!! ***Cuban Wall -VS- Deuce Deuce Bigelow*** A battle of the bigmen on Syndicated and it was just that, a battle. The 2008 Lethal Rumble winner had the height but Bigelow had the size, meaning Wall had a certain amount of trouble moving his opponent around which seemed to get under his skin. Instead Wall relied on his trusty 'soupbones' (what the hell does that even mean?) throughout the match. The two traded big strikes until a charge in the corner from Bigelow was avoided, sending him thundering shoulder first into the ringpost. Wall focused on the arm for the rest of the match and kept things grounded. He managed to muscle Bigelow up for a Shoulderblock in one impressive show of strength before trying to finish Deuce off with a couple of armbars. Each time Deuce managed to reach the ropes though and eventually he was able to fight his way back into the match. Despite only one arm to fight with Bigelow rallied, with the aid of his head and a few dropkicks for good measure. However, going for a slam to set up the finish, he tweaked his shoulder again and Wall caught him with a quick DDT. A Chokeslam attempt was countered with an Enziguri though, getting Deuce a 2. It was a big boot from Wall blocking a Bigelow charge that signalled the end though. Wall followed that up with the big Chokeslam and then the Lightning Crew Splash to finish Bigelow off. Winner: Cuban Wall, via pinfall With that we went to the HeldDOWN~! recap. LOTS of good stuff this week. A Steel Cage Match with a huge announcement, a new calling for The Synthmeister, Alix and Krista face to face and telling it like it is, PRL getting the best of Stephen Joseph Popick with AngleMania mere weeks away and, hey, there's some sorta Cibernetico next week? That oughta be awesome. For everybody who's not writing it. Another hype video for AngleMania played, this one courtesy of Landon Maddix. "Hey, did you guys know I'm undefeated at AngleMania". Yes, yes. Anyway, Landon was full of high expectations for this year. "I'm going to keep my Goliath like winning streak go... no, wait, Goliath's the one that loses, isn't he? In that case, it'll be a David like winning streak... although, I guess he only won one fight... kinda like me... anyway, the point is..." This humble narrator isn't sure what the point is, or why the OAOAST production team chose to include all of this rambling in the final cut of the hype video over the top of clips of Landon's major accomplishments in the OAOAST. But they did. And the video ended with Landon simply saying he was gonna win again at AngleMania, "the biggest show in the world... besides SWF Genesis..." ***The Sooner Bruisers -VS- Los Conquistadors*** A simple showcase for the 2008 Anderson Cup runners-up. Looking to take out their frustrations, Uber and Big Frank ran clean through the hapless Conquistadors in a rematch every bit as one-sided as at The New Year's Spectacular. Uber and Frank pounded the Mexicans with simple forearms and punches before having their fun, throwing them around the ring with a variety of suplexes. A couple of Soonerlines later and the Conquistadors were ready to be put out of their misery. Uber tossed Uno to the outside with a painful landing while Frank spiked Dos into the canvas with the Frankensteiner!! Three seconds later and it was over. Winners: The Sooner Bruisers, via pinfall Hey, we've got a PPV coming up, did ya know that? OAOAST ANGLEMANIA VII Look up swagnificent in the dictionary and... well, it won't be there ~OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship~ Stephen Joseph Popick © -vs- Tha Puerto Rican ~First Time Ever!~ Krista Isadora Duncan -vs- Alix Maria Spezia ~One On One Grudge Match~ Zack Malibu -vs- Bohemoth ~OAOAST Heartland Championship~ Sandman9000 © -vs- Alfdogg ~OAOAST One And Only World Tag Team Championships~ The Heavenly Rockers © -vs- Team Heyross ~Stairway To Oblivion II~ James "Lunar Pheonix" Cone -vs- Jester AND MORE... #~OAOAST presents ANGLEMANIA VII~# 22 DAYS TO GO!! (as of original airdate) ***The Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA w/Molly Nerdly -VS- The Christ Air Express and Tyler Bryant*** The Beverly Hills Blonds/Christ Air Express rivalry continued on in Syndicated's MAIN EVENT~! This week The Blonds were backed up by The Enterprise's Head Of Security and they weren't about to take that for granted as CPA started the match. MARV, MEL and Tyler all had their turns trying their luck against CPA and all of them failed miserably, which left The Blonds beaming from ear to ear over in the corner. Their mood was only dampened when The Christ Air Express and Tyler triple-teamed CPA, their combined efforts knocking him off his feet and clearing the ring of The Blonds too. Ned came in to try and play the ring general once The Enterprise recollected themselves. That didn't turn out too well. At least not until Simon came to the rescue, Ned enduring some patented double-team work from The Christ Air Express before Simon caught MARV with a knee from the ring apron. The former 6-Man Tag Team Champions then isolated MARV in their corner, with CPA doing most of the damage and The BHB attempting to finish him off. MARV hung in despite the punishment and even kicked out from the Double Feature Flapjack. After a barrage of punches from CPA though MARV was back in trouble and The Blonds looked to finish him off with the Rocket Launcher. But MARV got the heck out of the way and got the tag to "Tremendous" Tyler! The boybander took it to The Enterprise fighting for Jade Rodez's honour, even getting a shot or two in on CPA in the process. As soon as Tyler's fight was snuffed out MEL then came in and chaos ensued with all six men in the ring doing battle. MARV and MEL took out Ned and Simon with stereo dives while Tyler was confronted by Molly Nerdly on the apron. But Molly's interference didn't pay off as it distracted the referee from THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS's arrival! The former World Tag Champions went to work on CPA and their barrage of Texan punches send CPA off to the back fighting for survival against two on one odds. All of which leaving The Blonds against three on two odds back in the ring. Without CPA there to help, The Blonds quickly succumbed to their opponents. MARV and MEL blitzed through them before Tyler finished off Singleton with The Idoliser (TKO)! Winners: The Christ Air Express and Tyler Bryant, via pinfall The Christ Air Express and Tyler celebrated as Syndicated went off the air.

Wait, is Orton in charge this week? Talk about getting the short straw. "Okay Randy, you're the GM tonight... but, you can only make WrestleMania rematches. So, get thinking!" That kinda limits his options a little, huh? Man I hope that Shiek rumour is true. I wonder what other tricks they'll have up their sleeves. Duggan's on the roster, the only possible opponent would be DiBiase. Demolition against Strike Force? Or Powers Of Pain? Foley's still semi-active, maybe Edge? How about Nacho Man vs. Huckster II? I know that was on the Free For All, but I'm sure that wouldn't be the only inconsistency on the show.

Well, they've started building it as "Shawn has reservations, but he's The Showstopper so he won't want to lose at WrestleMania, no matter what", so between now and Mania I should think they'll have built it up so that Shawn's heart will be in it