King Cucaracha

I'll have that post I promised everybody (everybody who responds to PMs that is!) up tommorrow btw.

COLE Right now, let's send it up to our MC for the evening, Tony Schiavone over on the other side of the arena. Take it away Tony! Pan across the crowd and over we go to where the Interview Stage would normally sit. Instead though, rather than a stage, a pitch. A mini carpet of astroturf has been laid out across the arena floor to the left of the stage and a set of goalposts stands in front of one section of the Memphis crowd. Tony Schiavone stands, microphone in hand, next to referee Jimmy Korderas, with a whistle in his mouth. SCHIAVONE Okay, thank you Michael. We are down here, 'pitchside', ready for our special 'Penalty Shootout Challenge' to determine who is the 'Greatest Briton', Nathaniel Black... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" SCHIAVONE ...or Jamie O'Hara. "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Now, before we get to the rules, let's bring out the participants. First of all London, England's... NATHANIEL BLACK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The lights alternate between red, white and blue through the intro, before the doors part and out marches one grouchy Englishman, Nathaniel Black. Black raises his arms in the air, generally shouting his mouth as he jogs down the steps at the side of the stage. Wearing the blue of Chelsea FC, Black places the ball on the penalty spot and shakes hands with the referee. SCHIAVONE And now, he is Birmingham's own "Birmingham Bad Boy"... JAMIE O'HARA!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" The pumping beats of "Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal pound through the arena and through the sliding entrance doors swaggers Jamie O'Hara. The Birmingham Bad Boy jaws away at no-one or no-thing in particular as he marches down the steps. O'Hara, in the red of Arsenal, looks set to square up to Black until the official steps in. SCHIAVONE Okay, we have our contestants and we're proud to welcome our special goaltender for th... BLACK That's Goal[i]keeper[/i], ya stupid Yank twat! SCHIAVONE ...sorry, goalkeeper, ladies and gentlemen USA and Fulham's own KASEY KELLER! The non-football enthused crowd give the fly-in stopper a kind reception, mainly because he's American. But it's a kind reception nonetheless. Keller takes his position in goal but before we can go any further, Black has taken the microphone. BLACK Alright, before we go any further, I gotta say somethin'. First of all, I want you to explain these rules so even these ignorant Yanks can understand 'em. It ain't rocket science and it ain't some convoluted crap like 'American Football' but I wanna make sure everybody knows just how badly I'm beatin' this scrawny little arsehole next to me. And speakin' of which... what the 'ell are you wearing!? I thought you were supposed to be the 'Birmingham Bad Boy'? Now, I know these people don't, so I'll explain. This shirt, this Arsenal shirt... Arsenal are a [i]London[/i] club, yeah. An', seeing as you ain't from London, that makes you nothin' but a glory hunter! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" BLACK Shut up! You don't know what's goin' on, you're just booin' for the sake of booin'. O'Hara, this is exactly my problem with you. You ain't got no heritage. You sold out on your 'ometown to support the Arsenal, just like you sold out on bein' English to be a wannabee Yankee Doodle! I'm surprised you ain't out 'ere in that LA Galaxy shirt, givin' it the 'yeh, we love the soccer maaan' like these bandwagon jumpin' trogladites in the US! Again O'Hara and Black are kept apart by the referee. BLACK You know what, it don't even matter. Just get on with the rules. Black 'hands' the microphone back to Schiavone. SCHIAVONE Okay, well, each man will get a maximum of five attempts from the spot. The goalkeeper cannot encroach off his line, the player cannot make contact with the ball more than once and rebounds will not count, it's one shot and one only. Best score after ten penalties wins, or if one man gets an unasailable lead then he will win. In the event of a tie after 5 penalties each, we will go into Sudden Death. With that said, let's get the shootout underway with the coin-toss to determine who will get first rights. The coin is flipped and Black calls out 'Heads' before O'Hara can so much as open his mouth. Sure enough, it comes up heads and Black wastes no time in deciding he wants to go first. SCHIAVONE Okay, Nathaniel Black up first, Nathaniel... Telling O'Hara that he's going to 'show him how it's done' as he walks past him, Black lines up the already stationary ball. Taking a couple of steps back, Black then composes himself, steps up... ...and blasts it right down the middle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" [COLOR=blue]BLACK[/COLOR] O - - - - [b]1[/b] [COLOR=red]O'HARA[/COLOR] - - - - - [b]0[/b] SCHIAVONE Okay, Jamie, you're up next. O'Hara gets the ball back from Keller and places it confidently enough. The fans try to show some enthusiasm and get behind him as he takes a longer run-up than Black and places it to the right... ...SAVED! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" [COLOR=blue]BLACK[/COLOR] O - - - - [b]1[/b] [COLOR=red]O'HARA[/COLOR] X - - - - [b]0[/b] SCHIAVONE Okay, after one penalty each, the score 1-0 to Black and your chance to make it 2-0 Nathaniel. "Oh, I'm gonna" is the confident announcement from Black as he steps up. Placing the ball, Black jogs backwards and locks eyes with Keller. The whistle goes and Black slowly jogs in... ...arrogantly chipping the ball dead down the centre of the goal and getting royally embarrassed as Keller stands his ground and catches the ball like a gift. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Black hangs his head in embarrasment, wiping a hand across his face as O'Hara walks past him smirking. [COLOR=blue]BLACK[/COLOR] O X - - - [b]1[/b] [COLOR=red]O'HARA[/COLOR] X - - - - [b]0[/b] SCHIAVONE Uh, Nathaniel, not what you had planned? BLACK He came off his line. Trust the ref not to see it. All blind bastards, every last one. SCHIAVONE Okay, that said, Jamie... O'Hara wastes no time and strikes his penalty, this time with more power... ...and sends Keller the wrong way, scoring to his left as the keeper dives to the right! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" [COLOR=blue]BLACK[/COLOR] O X - - - [b]1[/b] [COLOR=red]O'HARA[/COLOR] X O - - - [b]1[/b] Black looks pissed as he places the ball ready for his penalty. He points a finger at Schiavone and warns him to 'keep his gob shut' as he just waits on the whistle. No such arrogance this time, as Black instead blasts his third penalty... ...right over the crossbar! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" [COLOR=blue]BLACK[/COLOR] O X X - - [b]1[/b] [COLOR=red]O'HARA[/COLOR] X O - - - [b]1[/b] Luckily the fans behind the goal have the sense to catch the ball rather than get hit in the face, which might not have been fun for the OAOAST lawyers. The fans throw the ball back for O'Hara as he looks to go ahead. SCHIAVONE Okay, Jamie, on the whistle... O'Hara sets... ...and scores again, again to the keeper's left! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" [COLOR=blue]BLACK[/COLOR] O X X - - [b]1[/b] [COLOR=red]O'HARA[/COLOR] X O O - - [b]2[/b] Black glares at Kasey Keller as he's waved on to go next. Black takes his time and asks the referee to hold up, dropping down to tie up his bootlaces, complaining that that was the problem with his last two attempts. But his continued stalling annoys referee Korderas and he blows his whistle, reaches into his pocket and BRANDISHES A YELLOW CARD!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" BLACK WOT!? KORDERAS Deliberate time wasting, yellow card. BLACK This is a shootout, not a full game! You can't book me! KORDERAS No backchat Black. Any dissent you'll get a second and you'll be off. "SEND HIM OFF!" "SEND HIM OFF!" "SEND HIM OFF!" Black angrily marches away... ...and proceeds to blast his penalty right at Keller! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" [COLOR=blue]BLACK[/COLOR] O X X X - [b]1[/b] [COLOR=red]O'HARA[/COLOR] X O O - - [b]2[/b] SCHIAVONE Okay Jamie, that means if you score this, it's all over. Good luck! Placing the ball on the spot, O'Hara jogs back, kicking up his heels and... ...coming to a stop as FAQU and JAMES BLONDE have invaded the pitch! O'Hara yells at the duo to get out of the way, which is the opening Black needs to sneak up and cheapshot O'Hara from behind with a forearm! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE HEY! What the hell! COACH Alright, something that isn't boring! Black, Faqu and Blonde all suddenly put the boots to O'Hara as Keller and Schiavone shifted off backstage by security. The trio beat down O'Hara a little before Faqu and Blonde sit him up, dragging him onto the six-yard line in front of the goal. Grabbing the ball again, Black then places it on the penalty spot and backs up as O'Hara is held in place. O'Hara tries to struggle free but can't escape Faqu's grip, as Black charges in... and POWERS A SHOT RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE GOAL, STRIKING O'HARA CLEAN IN THE FACE WITH THE LEATHER BALL!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL... COLE This is reprehensible! This goes way beyond bad sportsmanship, Black knew he was going to lose so he launched this attack, three on one! And O'Hara is out cold! COACH Yeah but, what a precision finish, huh? As O'Hara lies flat out on the astroturf, Black stands over him yelling abuse. Blonde joins in too, Faqu standing and snorting as Black drops the ball on O'Hara's chest and raises his arms over his head. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh yeah, real tough! That's what makes a 'Great Briton'!? A three on one beatdown!? Black, Faqu and Blonde finally walk off, leaving the beaten and bruised O'Hara still laying in the goalmouth. The crowd boo away as Black stops at the top of the steps, looking back down at the makeshift pitch and grinning from ear to ear. COACH Well, look on the bright side Michael. At least now, O'Hara's like his hero, David Beckham. COLE A rightful winner of a soccer match? COACH No, injured! HAHAHA! COLE Oh come on!

"Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me)" As we go up to the ring the sounds of Blondie's "Call Me" begin to ring through the arena. Totally unintentional pun. Totally awesome nonetheless. Marching through the entrance doors, the sour-faced foursome of Ned Blanchard, Simon Singleton, Mackenzie DeCenzo, Molly Nerdly and the always poker-faced Christopher Patrick Allen are roundly booed as they walk to the ring. The camera zooms in on Ned in particular, sporting a wounded look on his face. Simon senses his partner's mood and pats him on the back in a weak attempt to pep him up. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this is our opening contest of OAOAST ZERO HOUR, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN! Scheduled for one fall, it is for the OAOAST World Six Man Tag Team Championships, which can only change hands in the event of a pinfall or submission! Introducing first, on their way to the ring, the challengers. Representing THE ENTERPRISE! At a total combined weight of seven hundred, twenty five pounds. CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, otherwise known as C-P-A... and, accompanied by their manager MACKENZIE DECENZO... SIMON SINGLETON, NED BLANCHARD, they are... THE BEVERLY HILLS... BBLLLLLLOOOOOONNDDSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Chief Financial Officer for The Enterprise takes her seat in the director's chair at ringside, while Ned, Simon and CPA are subjected to the abuse of the crowd in the ring. COLE The former Champs looking for redemption here at Zero Hour 07. The Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA defended their titles successfully against the reigning Champions back at our Syndicated presentation in London, England, albeit thanks to some shady tactics. But just a week later, they were dethroned by Leon and D*LUX, under the guise of 'Los Ninos Anorexicos'. COACH Ugh. A dark day in wrestling history. COLE Well, it was slightly controversial. And up until now, The Blonds and CPA haven't recieved what they feel is a long overdue return match, a 'Sequel' if you will. But here tonight in Memphis, they're going to get their opportunity. A lot of water has passed under the bridge between these six men in the past 7 months, especially with Jade Rodez having returned to the side of D*LUX since that title change. Tonight though, it's not about Jade Rodez. It's simply about the title belts of the World Six Man Tag Team Champions. In the ring, Ned runs the ropes, trying to get himself prepared. COACH It may not be about Jade to you but it still is to that man! Look at Ned, I've never seen him so dejected, so subdued. The poor guy had his heart broken... COLE Oh, please! COACH Come on, have some compassion! Poor Ned just isn't the same and it's a crying shame. COLE Ned and co have been uncharacteristically quiet since AngleSlam, that much is true. BUFFER And, introducing the opponents! [i]"Love Generation" by Bob Sinclar[/i] takes the crowd momentarily by surprise, surprise making way to delight as through the doors pile the Champions. Jade Rodez leads the way for her regular (save for a few months, winkwink) charges, D*LUX. Jade stops on the stage with hands on hips, striking a pose as "Showtime" Shayne Brave and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant emerge and stand either side, saluting their fans. They soon find themselves posing besides a different Rodez though, as Leon steps in front of her sister and takes her spotlight, hiding her with an outstretching of his robe. Jade and Leon bicker a little, left to it by Shayne and Tyler as they hand-tag their way down the aisle. But like all good brother and sisters, the Rodez siblings are all smiles again a few seconds later as they follow D*LUX to the ring. BUFFER They are accompanied to the ring by Ms. JADE RODEZ! At a total combined weight of five hundred and ninety nine pounds... they are the reigning and defending OAOAST Six Man Tag Team Champions of the WWOOOORRRRRRRLLLLD!! First, the team of "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE and "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT, they are D*LLLUUUUUXXXXXX!! And, their tag team partner. He is Silky Smooth, he is "LUSCIOUS" LEON RODEZ!! Together, they comprise the team of LLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE GGEEENNEEERRRRRRAAAAAAATTIIIIIIOOOOOOOONN!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" D*LUX climb the apron and reach down, giving Jade a helping hand or two up onto the apron. Leon stands next in line and holds up his hands expecting the same assist. He's cruelly DENIED~! though and left to sadly slide in on his own power. COLE A new guise for the Champions, new music... COACH "Luscious" Leon!? COLE Well, "Showtime" Shayne, "Tremendous" Tyler. It's good. It fits. With the entrances out of the way and the mound of ring jackets being taken to the back, we're ready go with the action. Referee Charles Robinson tries to hold the three belts aloft in the usual tradition, which proves a bit of a handful, so he just lifts the one as the teams have their seperate conferences in their corners. Simon Singleton it is to start for The Enterprise, while Leon begins the match for the champions. *DINGDINGDING!* "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" SINGLETON COME ON, DON'T START THAT! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Grinning from ear to ear as they lock up, Leon quickly grabs a headlock on Singleton. Rolling behind, he transitions into a hammerlock, then picks the ankles and trips Simon up so he lands flat on his face! Rodez walks over Singleton and kicks up some dust in the Video Voyeur's face, sending him scrambling for his corner to regroup. The Enterprise all loudly complain (well, except CPA who's pretty quiet), especially when Leon cracks a cheesy, DDP-esque smile at them from across the ring. COLE Haha! Great to see Leon Rodez back wrestling with a smile on his face after a long, tough emotional period. Words of encouragement ringing in his ears, out of the corner circles Simon Singleton. He and Leon lock up again and after a brief tussle, this time it's Singleton who grabs the headlock! Cue impromptu celebrations from his corner. Singleton gets a little over-confident as a result though and loses Leon. The Silky Smooth One slips out of the headlock and behind into a hammerlock, trips Simon up, walks over him and loungs in the neutral corner!! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Hands covering his head, Simon glances up from his cowardly position... and curses a blue streak as Leon waves back at him. COACH Now that's just disrespectful. COLE He's just having fun Coach. COACH This is the OAOAST Michael. It's not supposed to be fun! Simon has had enough apparantly, tagging in an eager Ned Blanchard. Loud boos go up for The Handsome Hustler as he marches into the ring and squares up to Leon, mouth motoring away. Leon looks pretty uninterested at first. But Ned continues to run his mouth before pointing out at Leon's sister Jade at ringside, no doubt reminding him of her recent allegiance to The Enterprise (as if he needed reminding) before laying his hand on an imaginary figure in front of him and GRINDING HIS HIPS SUGGESTIVELY!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Oh yeah, he would have Leon! He would have! *SLAP!* "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And I bet that's what he would have got for his trouble, a slap in the mouth! Leon starts throwing right hands now with the crowd and his sister right behind him with every punch! Grabbing the arm, he then whips Ned... no, reversal, Ned whipping Leon in. As Leon rebounds off the ropes Ned ducks his head for a backdrop. He telegraphs it though and leaves himself open for a Sunset Flip... ...Ned wobbles... ...he wobbles some more... ...but, stays upright, prompting Leon to take drastic measures and reach up for Ned's tights. Fortunately for Ned, he still doesn't go down. Unfortunately for him and the entire world watching, his tights do, EXPOSING HIS ASS TO THE PAY PER VIEW AUDIENCE!! CROWD *horrified screams* COACH OH NO! COLE WHY LEON, WHY!? Mackenzie covers her mouth in shock, nobody quite able to bear to watch any more. Still determined to get the sunset flip, Leon kicks up his legs, hooking Ned's arms and finally pulling him to the canvas... 1... 2... No! Ned kicks out and rolls to his feet, swinging for The Silky Smooth One. Duck underneath from Leon though, lifting up Blanchard and dropping his bare behind across his knee with an Atomic Drop! Ned favours his bare backside, while Leon comes off the ropes in front and soars with a crossbody block... 1... 2... Kickout! Off the ropes comes Leon again. But this time Ned manages to cut him off with a knee to the gut, pointing to his head to show how smart he is. Of course, nobody is looking at the man's head amirite? And despite the pleas from the sidelines to pull up his tights and save us all the horror, The Handsome Hustler is in the zone and doesn't hear them! Instead, he picks Leon up and executes a bodyslam in the centre of the ring. Ned then hits the ropes, giving the Siclopse a most unwanted close-up angle, as he drops the point of the elbow... ...into the canvas. COACH You've gotta say this for Ned, that's a great all-over tan he's got. COLE What is WRONG with you!? Standing up, Ned shakes out his arm and absent-mindedly walks into a scoop and a slam from Leon! Only after executing the move does Leon realise where his hand had just been in the crotch-hold and lift, looking horrified for a moment before Ned comes back at him. Leon had little time to think and goes on instinct, executing a second unhygenic scoop slam! Barely able to hold in their laughter, D*LUX have little sympathy for their partner's plight as he executes a third scoop slam, complete with grimace as he lifts Ned, finally putting The Handsome Hustler down for long enough to grab Charles Robinson and use his shirt to wipe his hand!! COLE I sure hope that baby-oil doesn't stain. Looking down at Ned, Leon quickly offers a tag. However neither Shayne or Tyler will accept it due to the hand it's being offered with and lean as far back on the apron as possible! Leon goes right over to his corner with the hand out-stretched, Shayne and Tyler diving for cover... all this allowing Ned to attack from behind, kneeing Leon in the back. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Ned seems completely oblivious to the laughter and groans coming his way, backing Leon in his corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and laying in a chop. Blanchard then points over to his corner, warning his partners of his next move. COLE For God's sake Ned, pull your pants up!! No avail. Pushing in, Ned looks for an irish whip on Leon. It's reversed by The Silky Smooth One and Ned ends up going hard into his team's corner. That would be a lucky break, if not for one small problem. Simon and CPA are unavailable for the tag as they've jumped off the apron for fear of contact with their partner's exposed ass! Still Ned seems confused, but manages to get his wits about him long enough to get a boot up, blocking a charge from Leon. Rodez falls down holding his face and Ned quickly exits the ring, heading to the top rope. COLE Oh my God no! Think of the children Ned! COACH Why do we have to have our table on this side of the ring!? Ned slowly scales the turnbuckles, to the unbridled torture of everyone sat in that corner of the crowd. The studious Molly Nerdly angles the Siclopse camera up to capture every moment of the action but this footage too raw for even Simon Singleton to take and he places one hand over the lens of his camera, one hand over his burning eyes! COACH Don't look it directly in the eye!!! COLE :D To everyone's dismay, Ned stalls on the top rope, crouched as he waits for Leon. Even his teammates are pleading with Leon to hurry up and turn around, which he seems to take an eternity to do, before Ned finally comes off the top and CONNECTS with the double axehandle! "PULL YOUR PANTS UP!" *clap clap clapclapclap!* "PULL YOUR PANTS UP!" *clap clap clapclapclap!* Landing safely on his feet, Ned comes to a stop in mid-celebration. Looking over his shoulder, Ned finally realises what the world has been trying not to notice and PULLS UP HIS PANTS, to the biggest cheer he's ever recieved in his career! COLE Folks, I've seen some things in my time but... 'oh my' doesn't cut it. COACH I never thought I'd hear that chant again Michael. COLE You are too much. Seriously. In the middle of all this insanity, a wrestling match has broken out! And Ned Blanchard tags out to Simon Singleton, who still looks a little pale after that experience. Simon comes in and takes over on Leon, grabbing hold of the back of his singlet and dragging him into a forearm to the kidneys. And a second. Reaching up, Simon then grabs Leon by the head and drops to a knee, crushing the coconut by driving Leon's famed good-looks across his kneecap. Only dazed by the move, Leon is quickly on his feet again but reels unsteadily into a neutral corner. A weak guard is put up by The Silky Smooth One. But Simon isn't here to box, he's here to wrestle, going to the gut with a knee and whipping Rodez coast to coast. Fist clenched, Singleton then follows in with a charge... but runs right into the knee of Leon Rodez! Simon staggers away, allowing Leon to run the rails to his corner and the tag to Tyler Bryant! COLE Our first taste of D*LUX tonight! Tyler jumps into the ring and wastes no time in mowing down Singleton with a clothesline. And a second. And a third, "Tremendous" Tyler all fired up! Irish whip by Tyler, sending his old rival high overhead with a BAAAAACK bodydrop on the rebound. That draws Ned into the ring, right into a dropkick which sends him tumbling right back out through the ropes! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Quick tag and in comes Shayne Brave for the Champions. Together, the tag-team specialists set up Singleton for a double irish whip. Back he comes and D*LUX 'rock until they drop', with a Double Hiptoss and Double Fistdrop combo! Out goes Tyler, covering goes Shayne... 1... 2... Broken up by CPA! COACH Uh-oh. I think CPA's getting sick of watching his buddies getting embarrassed and that's not going to put him in a good mood. COLE Just for a change. As CPA is ordered to leave the ring by the referee, D*LUX get ready for another double team move. Shayne quickly drops Simon across his knee with a quick inverted atomic drop and holds him in place, while Tyler comes off the ropes and tries to kick his face off with the Yakuza Kick! The illegal man Tyler quickly slides out of the ring, leaving no distractions for Charles Robinson when he turns around to spot a jacknife pin from "Showtime" Shayne... 1... 2... NO! COLE Opposites Attracting there for D*LUX, Paula Abdul would be proud. COACH Paula who? COLE Oh you're so fickle. Another quick tag is made by the D*LUX duo and in comes Tyler. Outraged at the continued double teaming, Ned climbs to the apron and tries to get in the ring to complain. All he ends up doing is distracting the ref though, as D*LUX pick Singleton up and drop him across their knees with the Cowell Movement. And they hold onto Simon, keeping him over the knees as Leon steals into the ring... *SMACK!* ...and dropkicks the prone Video Voyeur right across the top of the head! COLE Great teamwork from the Champions right there. COACH Oh sure, it's 'great teamwork' when your favourites do it. One in, two out. That's how six man tags are supposed to work. COLE Well there you go, Shayne and Leon out, one man in, there's the cover... Robinson finally gets rid of Ned and turns to count the pin by Tyler... 1... 2... Kickout! Pulling Simon back up by the jericurls, Tyler tries to set Simon up with an irish whip. But Simon pulls out a reversal from out of nowhere, sending Tyler off the ropes and right into a well-placed knee from the apron by Ned Blanchard! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As the Champions complain about the well-disguised cheapshot Ned holds up his hands and walks innocently back to his corner, leaving Singleton to take advantage and cut down Tyler with a deseration clothesline. Landing in his corner, Singleton then reaches up, letting the bigman CPA tag into the match for the first time. COLE We've seen that one too many times. A cheapshot from Ned turns the tide for The Enterprise and now, in comes the big-hitter, Christopher Patrick Allen. CPA comes in and stalks Tyler, waiting for the youngster to get back up. The moment he does he then pounces, landing a bodyshot that almost puts Tyler through the ropes. Tyler hangs on the ropes as the former pro-boxer continues landing bodyshots, ignoring the warnings of the referee to back away. Eventually CPA does relinquish though and whips Tyler off the ropes. A big shoulderblock on the rebound puts Tyler down, earning the applause of The Blonds from the corner. Cover by CPA... 1... 2... No! By the hair CPA drags Tyler back up. Another irish whip loads him up, this time for a big Powerslam, into another pin attempt... 1... 2... Shoulder barely out at two! Leon applauds his partner and tries to lend some vocal support, despite the dominance CPA is able to have with him. After a hard shot with he inside of his forearm CPA accepts the tag from Ned Blanchard. CPA doesn't leave immediately though, as he again whips Tyler off the ropes. Using the referee's full five count, Allen picks up Tyler on the rebound and just lets him plummet to the canvas with a Flapjack! Ned follows that up off the ropes with a simple but effective boot to the side of the head. With all his veteran tricks Ned then detours into the Love Generation corner and piefaces Shayne Brave, drawing the youngster into the ring. COLE There's another cheapshot for those keeping score. Referee Robinson quickly interjects as Shayne and then Leon try to come in. Which provides the distraction for The Enterprise, as Simon Singleton has scaled the ropes and gets thrown onto Tyler with the ROCKET LAUNCHER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What happened to one in, two out Coach? COACH Leon and D*LUX had three in at a time, I think we can let The Enterprise have a little leeway. COLE Why? Because you say so? COLE Pretty much. As Singleton rolls from the ring, Ned quickly makes the cover and hollers for Robinson to turn around... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Upset that the patented Rocket Launcher wasn't enough, Ned mounts Tyler and hammers away with a succession of right hands! The five count forces him to break that up before all his frustrations are released, so he gives Robinson a bit of a shove for getting too close. "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" The Memphis crowd get behind the boybander on his team's prompting, as he's dragged to his feet by Ned. A forearm rocks Bryant, as does a second. Grabbing a front facelock, Ned then looks to put his rival away with the Slingshot Suplex... ...but Tyler floats over in mid-air, rolling Ned up from behind... 1... 2... No! Safely out in time, Ned quickly snuffs out the fire Tyler had been building with a hard knee to the gut! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Down in a heap goes Tyler, to a smug grin from Ned. The Handsome Hustler points down at Tyler and sarcastically asks Jade if this is really a better option to hang her wagon from (so to speak) than his good self. A stomp further humiliates Tyler and Jade as Ned continues to mock her, Jade scowling back at her not-so secret admirer with a look that could kill. COLE Ned really needs to get his head in the game here. COACH Relax Michael, Ned's a professional. He's just taking a second out to remind Jade what she's missing out on. COLE I think we all saw more than enough of that earlier. Backing Tyler into a neutral corner, Ned trips out the legs so that his opponent is sitting against the bottom turnbuckle, then places the flat of his foot right over Tyler's windpipe! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU..." Breaking cleanly, Ned insists he was using an open-hand so it was legal. An open-hand is then used to tag in Simon Singleton, who makes his way into the furthest corner from his opponent and ROLLS CAMERAS~ Sure enough, the boos sound out even before Singleton has made his move, running across the ring and pushing up off the top rope. Hanging onto the rope, Singleton then swings himself back, arrowing both his feet into the ches... ...NO! Tyler rolls out of the way and Singleton dropkicks nothing but the bottom turnbuckle! COLE Nobdoy home on that one! After a jarring landing, Simon drags himself up and goes after Tyler again. But Tyler is already on the move and comes back off the ropes, using the last of his burst of energy to take Singleton down with the Phantom Neckbreaker!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE But there was plenty home for Tyler Bryant. And now, can he tag one of his two, fresh partners!? Jade, Leon and Shayne lead the crowd in some clapping to try and encourage Tyler over to them. Mackenzie and Molly are pretty vocal themselves, yelling for Singleton to hurry up and make the tag. The two men are on the wrong sides and have to crawl past each other on the way to their corners, Singleton seemingly thinking about grabbing the leg to stop Tyler. But he's more concerned with tagging out himself though and with Ned desperately hanging out his arm, he keeps on crawling... ...tag to Blanchard... ...AND A TAG TO LEON, TO AN ERUPTION FROM THE MEMPHIS FANS!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Tag on both sides, here comes Leon Rodez! Having rushed into the ring, Ned suddenly doesn't feel quite so eager and slams on the brakes holding his hands up to Leon. His attempts to beg off earn him a hard chop though! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" A second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third! Irish whip from The Silky Smooth One, Ned bouncing back and getting taken up and over with the BAAAAACK bodydrop! Leon is feeling it now. And as Ned hobbles back up with another vain attempt to beg for mercy, he walks right into a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss to his sister, saying this one is for her before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Blanchard upside the head with the enziguri! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA RODEZ SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! With a beaming grin, Jade counts along with her brother's pin attempt... 1... 2... Broken up by CPA! The bigman hauls Leon right off of the cover with scary ease and destroys him with a Northern Lariat! COACH That wiped the smile off of her face, huh? You watch, Jade'll start routing for Ned again now her brother's not getting the job done. What a glory-hunter. COLE Give me a break! With Leon seeing stars, CPA wraps him up in a gutwrench and lifts him over his shoulder, ready for the Dominator... ...but before Mackenzie can even finish cheering into shot flies Shayne Brave, soaring off the top and nailing CPA with a Missile Dropkick! Leon lands on his feet and reacts quickly to a charge from Ned, pushing the un-sighted Shayne out of the way. Ned is forced to keep running and come off the ropes, but Leon is waiting on him and connects with a beautiful standing dropkick on The Handsome Hustler. COLE The referee, beginning to lose control here. And who can blame him, there's bodies everywhere. Dazed, Ned has enough sense to roll out of the ring. Meanwhile, Leon and Shayne get themselves together and target CPA. A pair of dropkicks from the duo staggers the 280 pounder but doesn't take him off his feet. So they send him off the ropes, looking for a double clothesline. CPA ducks the line though and keeps on running, coming back off the ropes with a double clothesline of his own. "Showtime" gets taken out with the clothesline on the right side. But Leon manages to duck the left and waits, catching CPA as he turns around and pulling him down onto the knees with an Inverted Lungblower! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Having 280 pounds come down on your knees isn't ideal though and Leon hobbles a little as he comes back to his feet. All of which allowing Simon Singleton to pounce, running through Leon with a diving clothesline and making the quick follow-up cover... 1... 2... Tyler saves! Tyler starts to unload with right hands on Singleton, backing him into a corner. And while the going's good, he climbs the ropes and pulls Simon back by the jericurls for some more punches... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" TYLER TOP... "TEN!" TYLER ...HIT! ...ten more to be exact. The path has cleared behind him so Tyler sends Simon into the opposite corner, then follows after him. Singleton sidesteps but Tyler manages to put the brakes on before he hits the turnbuckles, turning around and running... ...into a FRONT SPINEBUSTER from CPA!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH That's like getting ejected out of a rollercoaster. Up, up, DOWN! Not fun. CPA is immediately jumped by Shayne, who shows more heart than power and gets unceremoniously pitched out of the ring by the bigman. CPA follows Shayne out to carry on the punishment though, leaving Singleton to finish off the job he started. Up top goes the Video Voyeur, looking to bring this production to an end with the Clapboard Legdrop. Molly makes sure the Siclopse is focused firmly on it's owner as he sets himself up top. On the outside though, CPA suddenly makes a charge. An ill-advised charge towards Shayne, who moves away from the ringpost... *CLUNK!* ...AND CAUSING CPA TO HIT NOTHING BUT STEEL! The reverberations shake Simon on his perch a little and force him to stop and reset himself on the top. And that extra second or three proves crucial, as when he finally does soar with the legdrop... ...there's NOBODY HOME!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh no! Take two, take two! COLE Not gonna happen, we are LIVE! Coming down hard on his tailbone, Simon looks in shock as Shayne slides back in. D*LUX wait on Singleton and take him off his feet with a Double Side Russian Legsweep. Standing back up, D*LUX then give the signal for Leon to go up top. Leon does just that, while D*LUX position themselves either side of Singleton. Tyler reaches down and grabs the wrists, Shayne by the feet, the tag-team specialists stretching out Singleton and elevating him about a foot off the canvas. And up top, Leon doesn't have to deal with any shaking ringposts, getting his footing and tumbling, CRASHING DOWN ONTO SINGLETON AND DRIVING HIM INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE 450 SPLASH!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE WOW! What a triple team from the Champions, Singleton got crushed! Tyler and Shayne keep guard as Leon makes the cover, Tyler bumping Ned off the apron as he tries to save... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And that's gonna do it! The Enterprise just got lovesprung by Love Generation here at Zero Hour! COACH Oh, a Justin Timberlake reference. Be gayer Cole. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... STILL the OAOAST World Six Man Tag Team Champions... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE, "TREMENDOUS" TYLER, "LUSCIOUS" LEON, LOVE GENERRRRRRAAAAAAATTIIIIIIOOOOOOOONN!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The Champions jump for joy just like the fans in Memphis, Jade rolling into the ring and embracing her man. Leon meanwhile climbs the turnbuckles and holds out his hands with a shrug, a cool if a little cocky reaction to his winning show of athleticism. Jumping from the turnbuckles, Leon exchanges high-fives with his partners and a victory hug with his sister, as the titles are handed in to the referee. All of this watched from the outside by Ned, distraught and looking close to tears with his head in his hands. COLE A great way to kick off Zero Hour 2007, with Love Generation picking up a big victory in defence of their 6-Man Titles. And this crowd in Memphis, Tennessee loving every second of it! COACH Oh yeah, they're loving this, all at Ned's expense. They're sick! Sick! Still despairing, Ned looks down at the fallen CPA and then to Mackenzie as if to say what happened. His gaze then drifts upwards, as Jade holds D*LUX's hands up in victory and blows a kiss to Ned. Like a spoilt child Ned immediately launches into a temper tantrum at ringside, Molly Nerdly having to hang onto the Siclopse for dear life to prevent it getting caught up in Ned's wake! Mackenzie tries to calm 'poor' Ned down, as in the centre of the ring, the triad of Tyler, Shayne and Leon stand and raise their 6-Man Titles over their heads. COLE Another chapter is written in this rivalry between The Enterprise and the members of Love Generation. And again, it's Leon and D*LUX who come out on top. They've got the girl, they've got the belts. And no matter how hard The Enterprise have tried, all the money in the world can't continue to buy that away from them!

Honestly, I couldn't name one. Nowadays, the cover-art philosophy seems to be the logo and the faces of the guys in the big two/three matches, rinse repeat.

Royal Rumble '95. The majority of the crowd bought that it was over and I know false-eliminations aren't anything new, but it was *such* a false-finish, Shawn couldn't have come much closer to having both feet touch than they actually did. Worthy of the amount of times it's been shown over the years. No Mercy 1999, Edge and Christian vs. The Hardys. It was a spot that could have looked pretty contrived, Matt gets knocked off of one ladder and bounces off the ropes, knocking over the other ladder. Jeff steps off of the falling ladder onto the standing one, keeps his balance and pulls down the bag (eventually). Would have looked bad if it went wrong (like the spot where Jeff tried to walk across the top of three ladders to the belt, from which match I forget) but it came off perfectly in a match that just needed a well executed ending to make all four guys' careers. Also, a more obscure one. Mike Quackenbush vs. Claudio Castagnoli, I think IWA Ted Petty Tournament 2006. Quack goes for a Hurricanrana but Claudio turns it into a Code Red in mid-air for the pin. Crowd were totally shocked by it and a really awesome visual. The only problem was, it came just after the crowd gave them a standing ovation after a nearfall, so it came a little too soon. Another five minutes with the crowd on their feet (like the Dragon Gate match in ROH) would have been a classic match. Still well worth searching out.

Okay, I'm making the call, let's postpone until Monday. I'm not 100% happy with the main-event and I haven't started the Penalty Shootout yet because of it so that's two late segments. Might as well go with the day extension. And no later this time, honest!

In that case, shall we make it a Monday posting again?

Penalty Shootout Challenge Jamie O'Hara v. Nathaniel Black Any chance the 6 Man can be opener?

Okay, I'm taking it from here and should have it done by Sunday night. If not, hopefully with the time difference I can get one of you (Zack, EWC) to finish off the last little bit. Fingers crossed, touch wood, that should be the least that's needed by then.

As we return to HeldDOWN~!, "It Ain't Over For Me" by Terrence Howard immediately begins to play. Stephen Joseph Popick walks through his shower of pyrotechnics, as the people of Nashville rise to their feet and boo vociferously. And while you rush for your dictionaries or even lazier, online dictionaries, here's Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following [i]non-title[/i] contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. He hails from Atlanta, Georgia. Weighing in at two hundred, twenty five pounds... tonight, proudly representing THE LIGHTNING CREW, here is the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, SSSTTEEEEPPHHHEEEEENN... JJJOOOOOOOSSSSEEEEEEEPPHHHHHHH... PPOOOOOOOOPPIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE It is main-event time! And with just 72 hours until Zero Hour 2007, it's a tough test for our World Heavyweight Champion. COACH No doubt. Say what you will about Popick, he's a former World Heavyweight Champion. He's seen it all and done it all. He was on the pre-game show of the very first AnglePalooza, five years and a half years ago Michael. You're looking at an OAOAST Original. COLE I thought he was an Upstart? COACH A what!? COLE Exactly. SJP climbs the steps and scales the turnbuckle with one leg on top, scanning the crowd and smirking. COLE And tonight, Popick's goal is clear. Soften up the Champion for PRL, ahead of the Triple Threat Ladder Match this Sunday night. Entering the ring, Popick begins his warm-ups... BUFFER And, introducing his opponent... [b]"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"[/b] [i]...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM*[/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Incubus' "Megalomaniac" gets a similarly negative reaction from the crowd, not showing any allegiance to Landon as he steps through the entrance doors. With Megan Skye by his side as ever, Landon extends his arms to the crowd and shows off the belt around his waist. BUFFER Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain. Weighing in at two hundred and eight pounds... he is led to the ring by his "Perfect 10", MEGAN SKYE... the reigning One and Only AngleSault Thread HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOORRRRRLLDD... LANDON! "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon leaps to the apron, looking out at the crowd as Megan climbs the steps. Megan holds open the ropes and Landon bounds into the ring, spinning himself into the centre of the ring HBK style and posing with Megan. COLE Very much the old school versus the new. Landon Maddix with roughly a year of active OAOAST competition under his belt, one of our fastest rising stars to the top prize, the World Title. A first time meeting here tonight and you have to wonder how much Landon is focused on this match and how much he's looking ahead to Zero Hour. COACH If he is at all, it'll be a mistake. After passing his belt off to the referee, the Champion is ready to go. He holds the ropes open for Megan to leave... ...which allows Popick to blindsight him before the bell!! *DINGDINGDING!* COACH That's the Popick I know and love. Popick rains down the blows to the back of Landon, referee Mike Chioda yelling at him to let Landon out of the corner. Having just reaches the floor, Megan is already complaining as Popick doesn't let up. He turns Landon around in the corner, striking him with an elbow. A knee follows before SJP is finally moved back by the referee. The wily veteran is happy enough to co-operate to make himself look like a honourable guy, but more-so because it allows him another cheapshot as Landon starts to come out of the corner. Falling across the middle rope, Maddix is then sunk into a choke across the middle rope by the knee of Stephen Joseph. COLE It's not often someone out-cheats Landon Maddix. But Popick got the jump on him and he's got a pretty impressive MO in shady tactics. COACH That's why you can't underestimate him. Pulling Landon off the ropes on the five count, Popick leads him into centre ring and executes a simple back suplex. He doesn't go for a cover though, instead watching as the Champion writhes around. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" COACH Now, what the hell does Zack have to do with this!? COLE You mean besides the Triple Threat Ladder Match this Sunday and the beatdown Popick and PRL lead the Lightning Crew in inflicting last week? A kick to the head from Popick seems to wake Landon up a little and draws him to his feet. Popick waits on him with a deep knee to the gut however, snapmaring Landon out of that and kicking him in the back with the flat of his foot. Maddix favours that as Popick continues to stalk around him, not making any sudden moves to end the match. Infact, his next sudden move is to drop to his knees and blatantly choke La Cucaracha with his bare hands! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Breaking, SJP warns the referee off of him before picking Landon up by the head and SLAMMING it into the canvas. COLE I know I shouldn't be surprised by a former World Champion fairing well but I didn't expect this kind of start. I mean, Popick has been out of active competition for a while now. COACH But he's still in ring shape. He spars every day with Tha Puerto Rican, he trains with the rest of the Lightning Crew regularly. Popick could step right back into contention for that title any time he wanted, just like Alfdogg when he returned, just like Caboose when he returned. COLE Well, maybe he could... if not for PRL. Which is why Popick has yet to go for a cover tonight. Back up, Maddix starts to show some fight as he goes to the body with some shots. Popick fights him off with some retaliatory shots, then jams the point of his elbow into the top of Landon's head to subdue him. Grabbing the arm, Popick irish whips Landon across the ring and into the corner. Head of steam, SJP then follows in with a charge... and eats boot! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Even being beaten on by Stephen Joseph Popick can't seem to endear poor Landon to the OAOAST faithful. Luckily, he doesn't care about that. Pushing up onto the middle rope, Landon waits for SJP to close back in a step before soaring, hooking the head... ...and SPIKING Popick with a Flying DDT!! COLE WOW! COACH Popick's never faced Landon. And he didn't have that move scouted. Wanting the match to be over with as quickly as possible, Landon quickly makes a cover... 1... 2... Kickout!! Bringing Popick back to his feet, Landon looks to pay off some reciepts. A forearm shot. And another. A third... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a knifedge chop! Popick lets out a loud groan and doubles over from the pain... ...but it turns out to be a great job of over-acting, Popick not as hurt as he made out and suckering Landon into a false sense of security, leaving him open for a open-handed thrust to the throat! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Oh, that was right to the throat there! Referee needs to get on that. COACH What's he going to do, disqualify him? Michael, in wrestling there's rules that can be broken and rules that can't. That's one you'll get a warning for right there. No more, no less and the damage is done. Popick knows that. Popick moves in on the choking Landon... ...who announces his own pantomiming by quickly going to the eyes of SJP! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Well, that'll earn a warning too. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Landon follows up with a chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And another. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Make it three. Landon now looks for an irish whip, sending Popick into the ropes and loading up with a clothesline. He telegraphs it though and Popick ducks underneath, executing a quick Russian Legsweep to take the Champion down. COLE Nice move by Popick and... uh, what the hell is this? Confusion suddenly takes over as Popick sits up and starts waving. Waving to the back, which prompts the doors to slide open and THE LIGHTNING CREW to come marching out, lead by PRL!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, so much for the match. This was a set-up! COACH Well duuuhh. Megan rolls her eyes, having sensed in the back of her mind this was coming all along. Laughing all the way down, PRL motions his troops ahead of him. Vitamin X jogs in front and slides in, stalking over Landon while Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall make their way in. Suddenly though, another figure enters the ringside area. Up and over the barrier, carrying an aliminum ladder. COACH Wha... COLE IT'S ZACK! ZACK MALIBU! ZACK WAS HERE ALL ALONG! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd erupt as Zack drags his ladder over the barricade and suddenly hurls it into the air... *CRACK!* ...LANDING DIRECTLY ON THE BACK OF MR. BORICUA'S HEAD IN THE RING!!!! Stunned, PRL slams on the brakes and watches on from the aisleway as his bigman falls down in a heap. Zack dives into the ring to retrieve his store-bought ladder, not spotted by any of the Crew until it's too late. First to notice is Vitamin X, running over as Zack takes the ladder, swinging it like a baseball bat... *CRACK!* ...AND STRIKING VITAMIN X IN THE SIDE SO HARD, HE GOES TUMBLING OUT OF THE RING!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE OH YEAH! That's not the kind of ladder I'd expect to see this Sunday but it's damn sure doing it's job right about now! COACH Get him Wall, get him! Right on cue, Cuban Wall turns around and catches Zack coming in with the GOOZLE~ But before he can complete the Chokeslam, Zack re-positions the ladder, between Wall's tree-trunk like legs... WALL :O "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh... COACH Damnit, no! Wall's testicles get rattled by the ladder shot and he staggers away. Zack follows after him, a standing dropkick enough to send him the rest of the way through the ropes and to the floor. All fired up, The Franchise kicks the flimsy ladder away and dares PRL to come get him some, Tha Puerto Rican looking none too eager to get involved. Rolling from the ring seconds earlier, Popick makes an effort to make it look like he's having to hold PRL back. Zack just points the finger too them though with two simple words. 'This Sunday'. PRL exchanges words right back, typically. And all the while, Landon Maddix crouches behind Zack. COLE Wait a second... watch Maddix! COACH Zack doesn't see it! PRL plays along and baits Zack in until he's good and ready before trailing off. At which point, Zack shouts a last word of warning and turns around... ...SUPERKI... ...NO!! ZACK DUCKS!! Landon manages to adjust and land on his feet safely, scurrying from the ring as Zack dives after him. Just about escaping the ring in time, the cussing La Cucaracha jumps the barrier and fumes over not getting the kick in, Zack staring from the ring and PRL with Popick from the aisle. COLE Wow, I cannot wait until this Sunday night. These three men, all vying for one prize in a Triple Threat Ladder Match! Landon couldn't return the Superkick favours from the past two weeks tonight but who really has the momentum going into this Sunday!? Zack got some payback tonight but it's all up for grabs, Zero Hour, do not miss it on Pay Per View!!!

Great Britain. [b][i][COLOR=blue]Rule Brittania[/b][/i][/COLOR] Regal. [b][i][COLOR=blue]Brittania rules the waves[/b][/i][/COLOR] Noble. [b][i][COLOR=blue]Britain never never never shall be slaves[/b][/i][/COLOR] Dignified. [b][i][COLOR=blue]Rule Britta...[/b][/i][/COLOR] Not to be messed with! [b][i][COLOR=red]Anarchy for the UK[/b][/i][/COLOR] Proud. [b][i][COLOR=red]It's coming sometime and maybe[/b][/i][/COLOR] Brave. [b][i][COLOR=red]I give a wrong time stop a traffic line[/b][/i][/COLOR] Ruthless. [b][i][COLOR=red]Your future dream is a shopping scheme[/b][/i][/COLOR] Powerful. [b][i][COLOR=red]Cause I... wanna be...Anarchy![/b][/i][/COLOR] Barbaric. [b][COLOR=red]NATHANIEL[/COLOR] [COLOR=blue]BLACK[/COLOR] A TRUE GREAT BRITON[/b] Black, with a soccer ball tucked underneath one arm, hits the iconic Winston Churchill 'V for victory' pose, laughing away as the video fades off.

If there's anything by anyone with Maggie involved, this should go before it really. We're back at the back of the building again and much like earlier, a guy and a girl can be seen walking in, lost in each other's thoughts. However, this time, the guy and the girl in question are a more unorthodox 'couple'. "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez, with his OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Championship belt over his shoulder, chats away to OAOAST interview personality extraordinaire Maggie Nerdly who seems intriguing interested in what he has to say. As the duo near the door to enter the arena though, they're confronted by a trio of figures, they being Leon's tag partners D*LUX and his sister Jade Rodez, walking in the other direction. Leon's conversation trails off and he quickly scoots in front of a confused Maggie just before the trio can notice him. LEON Uh, so, in answer to your, uh, question Maggie, yes I am looking forward to my 6-Man Title defence this Sunday night at Zero Hour. I always look forward to any chance to go against The Enterprise. And I'm sure my tag team partners will agree on that count. SHAYNE Oh, most definately DUDE, we're gonna kick some ass in Memphis, Tennessee and we are... JADE Uh, Shayne, I don't think they're doing an interview. Shayne, cut off in a rare moment of talking prime, sulks a little. LEON Well, sure we are! Why else would we, two completely unrelated characters in the land of the OAOAST, be talking to each other out here with no-one else around, hmmmm? JADE Uh-huh. So, where's her microphone? LEON Ah, see, here's the thing, see... uh... [i]budget cuts[/i]! Yeah, they just extended everybody's contracts. Eighty-four active wrestlers, wouldn't you know it! Lots of downpayments. So, out go the microphones. Always the first thing to go. I just hope they spare our nameplates. JADE Leon, I know. LEON Know what? JADE Maggie texted me last week. And you texted me three days ago. LEON No I didn't. JADE You didn't [i]mean[/i] to. But, assuming the words "BOOYAH CITY" mean something to you, although they certainly shouldn't since it's just nonsense, then you might just have sent to the wrong contact. Either that or Tyler happened to leave his phone on and I read it. I dunno. With a wry smile, Leon fist-pumps with Tyler quickly if a little belatedly, before turning to Jade. LEON Yeah, well, I don't know why I was trying to keep it a secret from you anyway. You've got so much to make up for I could sleep with all the Nerdly sisters and still be in the moral highground compared to you. And, for your information, "BOOYAH CITY" happens to be a very meaningful inside joke between myself and two of my close friends. I think we both know where you were when that inside joke originated but as I promised to try my hardest to let bygones be bygones, I shall let that place go unmentioned. Jade hangs her head a little. MAGGIE Wait, why did you sent these two a text message to let them know we had coffee last week? LEON Well, as I say, we're very close friends. SHAYNE You only had coffee? But I thought... LEON Not now Shayne, huh? Head hanging over, Jade looks up with a smile. JADE So when we agreed that you'd lay off holding the past few months with The Enterprise against me in exchange for you being less of a wannabee lothario around my friends, that didn't include Maggie? Or, was it [i]just[/i] coffee? LEON Well, I mean... (looks at Maggie) yeah, but, uh... (looks at D*LUX) see then we, uhm... (looks back at Jade) look, there's really no safe answer here so, let's all just agree that I'm in the wrong and move on, okay? Besides, 'wannabee lothario' were your words. I don't even know what they mean. JADE Well, I think we're even. Come on guys. LEON Oh we are SO not even! JADE (walking away) Oh yes we are. LEON Oh no we're not, you come back here! If you're running off to Ned... JADE That's not funny! As Leon and Jade stride off bickering like any good brother and sister, Maggie is left with D*LUX. TYLER Come on, you can tell us. SHAYNE Booyah City? MAGGIE (a little sheepishly) The overnight stop-over. Letting out a loud cheer, Tyler and Shayne high-five. Maggie joins in with the high-fives too, albeit the teensiest bit embarrassed, as she's escorted off by a clearly detail seeking D*LUX.

[b]EARLIER TODAY[/b] At the back entrance of the arena, the Champ is here! Yeah, I know, I hate that phrase with a passion too. But, it's true, Landon Maddix is here, weaving his way through the cars in the parking lot deep in conversation with Megan Skye. So deep that he almost doesn't notice Stephen Joseph Popick in his path, just about managing not to bump into him. POPICK Hey Champ, how's it going? I hope you brought your gear tonight. MADDIX (confused) And why's that? POPICK Take a wild guess. Looking around nervously for any sign of The Lightning Crew, Landon sees that the coast is clear. Then, a lightbulb seems to go off over his head and he has that wild guess... to himself, before realising just how wild it is. MADDIX Nah. After last week, I'm guessing my turn on the Handicap Match coaster is null and void. POPICK Tha Puerto Rican wouldn't team with Zack Malibu if he were the last man alive. No, it's even better than that. See, Stephen Joseph Popick is officially back out of retirement... uhm, again. And I'm starting my comeback right at the top! With you, tonight, one on one. MADDIX Non title? POPICK Oh, yes. But only because that belt has Tha Puerto Rican's name on it in three days time. Believe me, if not for that fact, I'd take that title tonight, no sweat. I'm a former OAOAST World Champion myself you know. Landon glances over at Megan, who confirms that it's true. MADDIX Wonders'll never cease. POPICK Yeah, well, clearly you need to brush up on a little OAOAST history. And I'll be more than happy to give you a little history lesson tonight. Oh and, I shouldn't forget, PR told me to tell you, he'll be watching tonight. Yeah. He'll be watching in his locker room. With Cuban Wall. And Mr. Boricua. And Vitamin X. He'll be watching [i]very[/i] closely. Gulping, Landon starts to get a little antsy. MADDIX Good. Good for him. Good to have friends. Yes. I'll... see you in the ring, later. Reaching behind him and grabbing a hold of Megan's wrist, Landon quickly scoots off with her in tow, Popick watching on with a big smile on his face. MEGAN I think we need a new plan. MADDIX How about this one- hide until main-event time. Come on.

I need opening and ME please, assuming anyone else is writing this week. Zack, not sure when you're back, but PM me and I'll fill you in if it's before Thursday.

They showed it on Smackdown a couple of times. She was in a bikini. On TV. Thus, whore.

Project 222! So, it's pretty obvious who it is, but the whole 'Save Us' part is interesting. Are they going to bring Jericho back in his original gimmick, vowing to save the WWE?

COLE Right now, we'd like to get you up to speed with some footage from our Syndicated broadcast from this past weekend. A couple of weeks ago, we showed you the closing stages of a match between Jamie O'Hara and James Blonde, when Nathaniel Black got VERY involved at the expense of Jamie O'Hara. Well, this past weekend, O'Hara was given an opportunity to try and extract some revenge, albeit against the three hundred pound Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu. Well, once again, Nathaniel Black got involved, as we can show you right now. ***** The footage begins to roll with Faqu tied up in the ropes, Andre The Giant style and O'Hara giving all he has with some wild right hands. James Blonde is on the outside and going crazy at the referee for not doing anything to help his partner. COLE (VOICEOVER) And here you see, after a absorbing a lot of punishment from the big Samoan, O'Hara finally caught a break. But his luck didn't last long... As O'Hara finally stops punching, Blonde climbs to the apron and tries to help the referee untie his partner. This distraction though allows NATHANIEL BLACK to roll into the ring! COLE (VOICEOVER) In would come Nathaniel Black, with the referee distracted... spins O'Hara around and... *WHAM!* Black nails O'Hara with a Lariat so hard, it literally turns The Birmingham Bad Boy inside out!! COLE (VOICEOVER) ...unseen by the referee, a vicious clothesline from Black would turn the tide. Black quickly slides out of the ring just as Faqu is freed. Faqu shakes away the abuse he took a few seconds ago and stalks over to O'Hara, picking him up off the canvas. SCHIAVONE The referee didn't see a thing. And now, Jesse, O'Hara is defenceless! VENTURA Well so was [i]Faqu[/i] and I didn't hear you complaining Schiavone! SCHIAVONE This is totally different and you know it! Nathaniel Black isn't involved in this match, this is basically three on one and now, O'Hara is helpless! Faqu drags the lifeless Birmingham Bad Boy to his feet, or as close as possible. Butterflying the arms, The Samoan Wrecking Ball then lets out a loud war cry, before lifting O'Hara up AND SPIKING HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH THE DOUBLE UNDERHOOK PILEDRIVER!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" VENTURA Death By Samoan! You could count to a [i]thousand[/i] and he wouldn't kick out! Cover by Faqu... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL", FFAAAAAQQUUUUUU!! ***** COLE Well, after the match, the trio of Black, Blonde and Faqu were cornered by Jesse Ventura and they had this to say! ***** More Syndicated footage, with the aforementioned trio in a locker room with Jesse. BLACK Yeh know, I am sick an' I am tired of Jamie O'Hara. I've been trackin' that scrawny little jackmonkey for damn near four months now an' I still 'aven't made myself clear to all these Yanks. They all think I'm in the wrong, just 'cause I'm an Englishman an'! They aut'amatically go against us just 'cause we're the foreigners. These two 'ere, they've 'ad to put up with it just like me. From the fans, to the refs, to the match makers, to the front office... everybody! VENTURA Nathaniel, I hate to interrupt you here, but Jamie O'Hara IS a foreigner. BLACK He ain't a foreigner! He sure as 'ell ain't British anyway, not really. All of that 'bling' or whatever the 'ell it's called, talkin' like he's some sorta braindead DefJam tosser. He's a disgrace to my country an' I ain't gonna rest so long as he's walkin' around the OAOAST. There's nothin' I enjoy more than knockin' out teeth of people like 'im. An' that's exactly what I did tonight! If there one type of person I 'ate more than those stinkin' Yanks out there, it's people who wanna be stinkin' Yanks! Jamie O'Hara, he ain't a real Englishman. He ain't a true Brit like me. He ain't built with the same bulldog spirit like Nathaniel Black an' I will do whatever it takes to prove that to the world. I am more of an Englishman than Jamie O'Hara in every way possible. It's as simple as that. ***** COLE Well, developments over the past few days. On OAOAST.com, Jamie O'Hara has this exclusively to say regarding Nathaniel Black. ***** Cut to Jamie O'Hara, sat on the swings in a pretty rundown looking playground. O'HARA So, Nathaniel Black says that I ain't a real Englishman? Man, you clearly ain't heard the buzz, dawg. I'm the Birmingham Bad Boy! I'm the Midlands' most undeniable superstar, that's for real. Ain't nobody in Birmingham who says I ain't English enough. So, I ain't gonna let some London wideboy wanker try an' make out any different! Now, I heard ya'll were talkin' some crap about how you were "more of an Englishman than Jamie O'Hara in e'ry way possible". Blacky, were I come from, those is fightin' words. Sounds like you're tryin'ta lay out a challenge to the big J-OH! So, I've been thinkin' 'bout it an' I've been thinkin', 'what better way to find out who's the better Brit'? An' the way I see it, we ain't got too many options. Let's face it mate, I ain't the most famous Brit in the US. And you ain't neither. It's mah boy Becks! An' how does Becks do? O'Hara stands up, picking up a SOCCER BALL from the floor. O'HARA Oh yeah. How 'bout this mate, you wanna see who the best Englishman is? You an' me, penalty shootout. Now, I know us Brits ain't all that hot on the penners all the time. So, that just goes to prove who's really hot an' who ain't. So, I'll see yeh in Memphis an' we'll settle it like men from 12 yards. How's about that? OUT! ***** COLE So, it seems like we've got a little bit of a challenge on the table. Jamie O'Hara, challenging Nathaniel Black to a Penalty Shootout to determine who the true Englishman really is. Have you ever heard anything like it Coach? COACH Is that, like, soccer? COLE Uhm, yes. COACH Well, as an American, I'm trained not to care one iota. But, as a Nathaniel Black fan, I hope he wipes the floor with O'Hara. So long as I don't have to pretend I know what's going on while it's happening. COLE Why change the habit of a lifetime? OHHHHH, BALLIN'! More HeldDOWN coming right up.

[b]"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"[/b] [i]...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM*[/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Kentuckians rise to their feet, booing the opening of Incubus' "Megalomaniac". And the boos only intensify the moment Landon Maddix steps through the entrance doors. With Megan Skye by his side as ever, Landon extends his arms to the crowd and double-dog dares them to disrespect him. Sure enough, they do just that. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is your MAIN EVENT of the evening, a handicap contest which is scheduled for one fall. Introducing at this time, the first competitor. Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain. Weighing in at two hundred and eight pounds... he is led to the ring by his "Perfect 10", MEGAN SKYE... the reigning One and Only AngleSault Thread HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOORRRRRLLDD... LANDON! "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!! Reaching the ring, Landon leaps to the apron, looking out at the crowd as Megan climbs the steps. Megan holds open the ropes and Landon bounds into the ring, spinning himself into the centre of the ring HBK style and posing with Megan. COLE Landon Maddix, just ten days away from defending his World Title at Zero Hour. And his two challengers, the two other men involved in this match. Last week it was Landon teaming with PRL against Zack Malibu. And, well, that didn't work out too great, so tonight the roles have been reversed. COACH You have to admire the man Michael. Even after what went down last week, our Champion is still man enough to come out tonight and compete. COLE On the right side of a handicap stipulation. COACH Makes no difference, you should still admire him all the same. As he removes his jacket and title belt, giving both his treasured items over to Megan, Landon goes through some warm-ups. BUFFER And, his tag team partner. .:CUE: "Getting Away With Murder", Papa Roach:. "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Hailing from Providence, Rhode Island... he weighs two hundred, ten pounds... "THE FRANCHISE"... ZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCK... MMMMMMMAAAAAAAALLLLIIIIIIIIIIBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! Walking through a shower of golden pyro, Zack marches to the ring. A burst of white pyro shoots out from either side of the ramp behind him as he makes his way down the aisle, looking in a far more promising mood tonight as he tags away at the outstretched hands of his people. Landon tries to show some solidarity by applauding his partner, who just gives him a funny look from the outside and continues hand-slapping. COACH What I don't get is, why Zack would even agree to team with the guy who he's been mortal enemies with ever since he arrived in the OAOAST. COLE Well, you heard what he said earlier, he had nothing better to do. COACH Then why not find a bar, shoot some pool, go to a strip joint. COLE Coach, he's married with a young child. COACH But he wasn't neutered. Guys still got needs. Into the ring slides Zack, turning his back on Maddix and climbing the turnbuckles to fire up the crowd. Zack then goes about removing his jacket, still yet to show any real acknowledgement of his tag team partner for the night. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" MADDIX YEAH! NOW LET'S HERE IT FOR LANDON! "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" MADDIX :angry: Smirking to himself, Zack shrugs his shoulders to Landon and raises his arms to get another pop from the Kentucky crowd. Landon forces a smile and a thumbs up, despite being clearly POed at being shown up. Suddenly the lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: [b]*THE CHAMP IS HERE!*[/b] With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, and out from the curtains and through the smoke steps "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, backed up by Stephen Joseph Popick and by his fiancee, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. BUFFER And, their opponent. He comes to us from San Juan, Puerto Rico... weighing in at two hundred, twenty pounds and being accompanied by his "Career Consultant", STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK and the OAOAST World Women's Champion, MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ! Here is, "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION"... THA PUUUUUEEEEEEEERRTOOOOOOOO RRIIIIIIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Chants of "P.R. SUCKS!" fill the arena as PRL and Popick continue their walk to the ring. Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Popick holds the ropes and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. COLE PRL not looking too happy tonight. But, to be fair, he brought a lot of this on himself by walking out on Landon during their stint as a team last week, not to mention the superkick that helped lead to Zack picking up the pin on the World Champion. COACH Yeah... I loves me some PRL, but I'm not sure what to think about what happened last week. Looking across at his opponents, PRL cracks his knuckles and high-fives Popick. A quick kiss from Lindsey and Tha Puerto Rican is ready to go, already talking some smack even as he's checked out by the referee. COLE I was about to say that PRL won't have anyone to walk out on this week. But, looking at the odds here, walking out might just be his best option. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and without hesitation, Landon elects himself to start for his team. Zack doesn't have a problem with that and after a few simple words of conversation, Zack steps out of the ring... giving Landon a little 'good game', which freaks him out a little bit. COACH What was that about!? Offended at the percieved ass-grab, Landon reels around to in no uncertain terms warn Zack off... and PRL capitalises with a schoolboy... 1... 2... No! Scrambling to his feet, Landon comes swinging with a big right hand. PRL ducks underneath and lets Landon spin around, right into a BIG Atomic Drop! He then gives Zack something to think about with a back elbow that almost knocks him off the apron, laughing it up at The Franchise's expense before charging at Landon... and into a HIGH BAAAAACK bodydrop!! PRL OH GOD, NO! PRL rolls to his knees and begs off, going so far as to PRAY for mercy from the World Champion. This isn't Landon's first rodeo though. And sure enough, as he goes to pull PRL back up, The Corporate Champion is waiting with an eyepoke... which Landon blocks, Three Stooges style, kicking PRL in the stomach and sending him rolling into a neutral corner. COACH Can't kid a kidder, can't ball a ball'ah. Following PR into the corner, Landon pens him in and asks for the encouragement of the crowd. Not even being Zack Malibu's tag team partner will get him that though and as boos ring out, Landon disappointedly decides to just irish whip Tha Puerto Rican. Hitting the far corner, PRL staggers back out into the centre of the ring. Jawbreaker by Landon, who then comes off the ropes. But PRL leapfrogs him, gaining his bearings before reverse leapfrogging Maddix on his way back. A third time Landon rebounds off the ropes and this time he gets taken over with a deep armdrag, to the delight of PR's cheering section aka Popick and Lindsay! COLE PRL is so crisp in that ring, beautiful series of moves. COACH I think Landon's got the eyepokes and such pretty sussed but he didn't have an answer for that. Looking a little dis-orientated, up comes Landon and right into a boot to the gut he walks. PRL makes sure Landon is set before hitting the ropes at the side with a Million $ Kneelift in mind. Landon retracts his head just in time though and shoves PRL in the back. Off the ropes comes PRL, swooping underneath a leapfrog from the World Champion. A quick drop-down then sends PR up and over, running the ropes for a third time... and right into a DROPSAULT from La Cucaracha!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH How about that for crisp movement though? COLE Landon right on the money with that Dropsault. Cover by Landon... 1... 2... Kickout. Zack offers his hand for a tag now, all but ignored by his partner. Instead Landon pulls PRL back to his feet, rocking him with a quick forearm. PRL quickly responds with a big right hand, only for Landon to fire right back with a second forearm. Shaking that off, PRL lands with a second punch. And a third. And a fourth, rocking Maddix backwards. PRL stops and spits on his left hand before throwing a final punch... DUCKED, Maddix taking The Corporate Champ over with a Backslide... 1... 2... PRL kicks out and quickly catches Landon with the La Majistral... 1... 2... No! Both men scramble to their feet... AND SIMULTANEOUSLY JAB EACH OTHER IN THE EYES!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Re-diculous! Zack rolls his eyes in the corner. Temporarily blinded, both Landon and PRL both stagger around comically for a couple of seconds, both complaining that the other should be disqualified to poor referee Mike Chioda. At a stalemate, he just insists they get on and wrestle. Which is what they eventually do, as Landon rears back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and chops Tha Puerto Rican! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and again! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Third time! Covering up his chest, PRL can take no more of the chops and baits Landon in, backing away into a corner and throwing out a boot just as the World Champion approaches. Quickly he switches Landon into the turnbuckles. But, instead of throwing chops, he starts to stomp a mudhole into the chest of La Cucaracha! PR stomps the mudhole and walks it dry, over wails of pain from Maddix which grow more and more pathetic with every successive stomp. Finally, with the referee reprimanding him, PRL puts everything behind one last stomp before marching out of the corner, 'smelling the electricity' in the arena! COLE Tha Puerto Rican, stepping up the intensity a notch. It seems like PRL and Landon took more offence to being poked in the eye than a normal, rule-abiding competitor would and all of a sudden the strikes started flying! COACH And it's PR, on top! As Landon weakly drags himself up in the corner, he's met by PRL. Irish whip by the P.R Menace, sending Landon corner to corner and setting him up for the Stinger Splash, which connects! Landon gets crushed in the corner and any wind he had left in him is knocked out of his lungs, causing him to stagger weakly from the corner. Quickly backtracking, PRL crouches down in preparation, drawing Maddix in... KICK! *WHAM!* CAPPA KILLE... ...NO! Landon pushes PRL off! Able to slam on the brakes quickly though, PRL spins around... ...and gets DROPPED with a Leaping Diamond Cutter from the World Champion!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Cucaracha Cutter! From out of nowhere, he hit it! COLE How the hell do you know it's called the 'Cucaracha Cutter', I've never seen Landon use that before in my life. COACH Me and the Champ are tight. That's how I roll. COLE That's how you keep your job you mean. Explains a lot come to think of it. Slowly but surely, Maddix follows up on that desperation move with a lateral press, eventually hooking the leg to go with it... 1... 2... NO!! COLE Just a two, but Landon has PRL dazed now. And he's still got Zack waiting on the apron. He'll have to wait a little longer though, as instead of making the tag, Landon exits the ring and heads to the top in what would be PRL's corner, if he had any tag partners. Maddix reaches the top, taking a moment to get himself set. He then stands... just as Tha Puerto Rican charges for his ankles! Thinking quickly, Landon vaults off the top, up and over PRL onto his feet. PRL hits the turnbuckles but doesn't worry about that too much, turning on his heels to charge at Landon again. Landon quickly drops down, forcing Tha Puerto Rican into the ropes and into the line of fire. As PRL rebounds off the ropes, off his feet springs Maddix, looking to snare PR's head for a Hurri-Lanrana... ...but PR grabs the ropes, causing Landon to come down HARD on the back of his head! Holding his neck, back up climbs Landon, soon wishing he hadn't as PRL now comes off the ropes of his own accord and whips around, striking the World Champion in the FACE with his shin, gamengiri style! COACH Dodge THIS, BITCH~! COLE Did you just call your 'tight' World Champ a bitch? Cause I think ya did. COACH See, this is why I want these two to team together instead of fighting. I hate dividing my bias between two people! As Maddix sees stars on the canvas, PRL takes a quick look at Zack, half expecting him to jump into the ring. Zack seems pretty happy to kick back and watch his two Zero Hour opponents settle their difference though for now and even goes so far as to 'encourage' PRL to go for the pin, which he does... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Grabbing Landon by the hair, PRL begins to pull him back to his feet. "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" PRL taunts the crowd by yelling "WELL, YOU AIN'T GETTIN' HIM!", as he sets up Landon for the LATIN SLAM... NO! Elbows from Landon, fighting PRL off. The elbows eventually force PRL away and gives Maddix room to breathe. Back comes PRL though, connecting with a right hand. Another. And a third. And a fourth! Backed up against the ropes, Maddix gets irish whipped by PR, who ducks his head ready for the Spinebuster. Presumably. We'll never know, because Landon puts the brakes on and kicks him in the shoulder blade! Landon then fires off a couple of kicks to the hamstring of The Corporate Champion, weaking his base. COLE Landon showing off his educated feet right there. Off the ropes comes Landon now, but PRL still has enough in him to duck a clothesline. He then hobbles off the ropes himself and throws himself at Landon with a crossbody. Unfortunately, Landon had the same idea. *OOF!* COLE OH! Mid-air collision, both men going for crossbodies and both men are down! "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Hurting now, Landon has no choice but to give the people what they want and go for the tag to Malibu. PRL has no choice either way and takes advantage of the breather for a couple of seconds, before beginning to pull himself up. Past him crawls Landon, reaching out to Zack, who true to his word is there to offer the tag... ...and it's MADE! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HERE. COMES. ZACKMALIBU! Zack steps into the ring, completely fresh and EN FUEGO~! A clothesline knocks PRL down. And a second time. Make it a trio! Zack drags PRL to his feet now and sends him off the ropes, ducking his head and boosting PRL towards the rafters with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! COLE Zack is cleaning house right now! COACH Yeah, after Landon did all the work for him! Can't PRL at least take a timeout or something? PRL doesn't even have the time to beg off after that though, as Zack brings him right back to his feet. Waistlock by The Franchise, taking PRL up and over with the German Suplex! He hangs on to, rolling through and dragging the un-cooperative Puerto Rican back up with him for a second consecutive German!! Not done yet though, Zack continues to hang onto the waistlock, rolling his way through and climbing to his feet. PRL is forced to follow. And he's forced up and over with a third Rolling German, shades of AngleSault! COACH Oh, I hate those! COLE Zack is rolling here, literally and figuratively! And PRL doesn't know where the hell he is right abo... *SMACK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE WOAH! SCHOOL'S OUT, SCHOOL'S OUT! COACH WHAT!? The Louisville crowd erupt as in a flash, the World Champion is DOWN! Zack stands over Landon after the Superkick with a smirk on his face, Megan holding her head in shock. COACH WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? The crowd continue to roar their approval as Zack remains true to his word. He doesn't walk away. Instead, he casually walks over and picks up PRL, dumping him on top of Landon and telling him to count. COLE Just like AngleSlam! 1... 2... 3!!!! COLE The World Champion is beaten, AGAIN!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winner of the match... THA PUERTO... RRRRIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Barely able to bring themselves to celebrate, Popick and Lindsay look at each other in confusion, as Zack stands back and watching PRL climbing back to his feet. COACH I can't believe that dirty, backstabbing, cheapshot artist... defend that! Defend that Cole, defend your boy, I dare you! COLE A little bit of a reciept from last week by Zack Malibu! COLE Oh you are unbelievable. PRL pushes back onto his feet and looks up at Zack, clearly as confused as anyone else as to what just happened. In slide Lindsay and Popick but PRL motions for them to stay back as he walks over to Zack, running his mouth to The Franchise. Zack talks as good as he gets though and points a finger in PRL's face, clearly mouthing the words "we're even" before he turns to walk away... ...which is when PRL extends his hand. COLE What's this now? COACH Oh, this isn't happening... Looking down at the hand, Zack sees right through PRL's facade and goes to leave again. But PRL is insistant and pulls Zack back, extending the hand again. Still Zack is doubtful though, not shaking his rival's hand but certainly being pulled into it by PR. The Corporate Champion locks hands with Zack and nods his head, clearly trying to thank Zack for his help with the victory tonight... ...UNTIL POPICK COMES IN AND BLINDSIGHTS ZACK, WHO GETS PULLED INTO THE SHOT BY PRL!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Ah, back to reality. COLE Damnit, you talk about a cheapshot. Right there's a cheapshot... and NOW what!? Now what is THE LIGHTNING CREW, being waved to the ring by SJP! PRL starts to put the shaky boots to The Franchise as out from the back runs Vitamin X, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua a few paces behind but on their way too. X slides in and quickly gets in on the stomping, to loud jeers from the Louisville crowd. In come Wall and Boricua, the muscle of The Crew. And just as things look bad for Zack Malibu, Landon begins to come to his senses. COLE This is a mugging! An old fashioned Lightning Crew mugging, Zack is defenceless! Landon clears the cobwebs and looks up, to see a sea of bodies in front of him. And the World Champion takes one look at just who those bodies are, before sliding out of the ring! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Grabbing Megan and his title, Landon quickly makes his escape, a wry smile on his face as in the ring behind him the beatdown continues. Zack is brought back to his feet and with the Crew surrounding, victimised by THE WALLBREAKER, right in the centre of the ring! PRL then points to Vitamin X, who leaves the ring. X heads right to the top rope and sets himself, soaring through the air with the picture perfect ELBOW DROP to the sternum of Zack Malibu! "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" The Lightning Crew just laugh at the abuse, the boots still being put to Malibu. Referee Chioda takes a spill at the hands of Popick, who takes great delight in getting in Zack's face and shouting some abuse. COLE Landon Maddix may have been beaten, but in the end he may have gotten what he wanted after all. One of his title rivals, laid out and being picked apart by a pack of wolves in the middle of this ring! Sure enough, Landon is watching all this as he backs away towards the sliding doors. And a smile forms on his face as PRL points a threatening finger towards him, not looking too concerned about his defeat after what he's just seen. COLE The Lightning Crew have struck! And with just ten days until Zero Hour, one stop left on the road to Memphis, what does this mean for the future of the World Heavyweight Championship!? We are out of time, we'll see you next week, same time, same place! Goodnight! Get somebody out here already! With Landon watching on, PRL and The Crew stand over Zack and celebrate their dominance as we... FADE OUT.

Starring: Landon, Zack. Backstage we go, into the locker room of our very own Franchise, Zack Malibu. Why we're in Zack's locker room while he's in the middle of a presumably private phone conversation isn't clear but hey, it's wrestling. As Zack continues to talk away as you would if you didn't realise you were being watched, his locker room door begins to open though. And much to The Franchise's surprise, LANDON MADDIX breezes in. MADDIX Can I have... Zack, looking very surprised still under his scowl, holds up a hand to Maddix. MALIBU (down the phone) Just give me a second wouldya. Setting down his phone, Zack stands up, ready to fight. MALIBU What the hell do you want? MADDIX Relax, relax. I've got a proposition for you, one you might be pretty interested in. MALIBU Why would I be interested in anything you have to say? MADDIX Well, hear me out here, okay? Jeez. Look, we don't agree on much. We don't see eye to eye on many things, if any. But after what happened last week, I think we can both agree on one thing... Tha Puerto Rican can not be trusted. Scoffing under his breath, Zack shakes his head and sits back down. MALIBU Tell me something I don't know. MADDIX Right, so, we can both agree that he's a conniving little son of a bitch who we both hate. MALIBU (glances up) Sure. And I deal with those kinda people every day here. If that was meant at a shot at Landon, it flies over his head. MADDIX Okay, but here's the thing, we shouldn't even [i]have[/i] to be dealing with him. I'm the reigning World Heavyweight Champion, you're the former Champion... what is PRL? He's a distraction. So he won some battle royal, got himself a title shot? He lost at AngleSlam. HE lost, I pinned him... with your help, I guess... anyway, the important point is, PRL doesn't deserve this rematch at Zero Hour! By rights it should be you and me, one on one. Deep down, that's what you want and don't try to kid me and tell me any different. And for that to happen, we need to get rid of PRL. Now, I've pulled a few strings and I've got us a Handicap Match tonight, you and me versus PRL... MALIBU (chuckling to himself) You have got to be kidding me. MADDIX Wha... MALIBU You do realise I know you gave PRL this exact same speech last week, right? What's changed? A little matter of a superkick to the face perhaps? Come on Maddix, what did you think was going to happen, you coming in here offering to TEAM with me. MADDIX Don't think of it like that. Think of it as using a situation to your advantage. Come on Zack, think of yourself for once! You live your life for those people out there, being their 'Franchise', doing what they want. Be selfish for once. Do this for you. Not for me, you! Come on Zack! Standing back up, Zack stares at Landon, still looking mildly amused. MALIBU You know, you are so full of crap... MADDIX Now, come on... MALIBU ...but, I'm not doing anything else tonight. And hey, maybe I'll get to pin PRL like I pinned you last week. So, what the hell, you've got a partner tonight. MADDIX And I can trust you. Because, you're a trustworthy guy, right? MALIBU Sure. You can take my word, I won't walk out on you tonight. Looking like he can hardly believe his luck, Landon looks ready to hug his arch-rival for a second before realising just what he's doing. He settles for patting Zack on the shoulder, which still earns him a dirty look, pumping an encouraging fist to his makeshift partner before leaving the locker room with a big smile on his face. Hands on hips, Zack shakes his head and picks up the phone again. MALIBU Candie, you hear all that? ..... Yeah, can you believe that kid?

Okay, I'm away for the weekend from Thursday night now. So, the 10-Man Tag won't be happening. Tony, Patty, sorry if that screws anything up for you. Hopefully you've got enough time to throw something together for the guys involved if you need it. But I'd still like the main event for a match TBA during the course of the show...

The worst example being whenever anyone beats down The Undertaker, of course. I can't remember off the top of my head how many times it used during the Hogan era when he was on the end of a bigman beatdown. With Taker it pretty much begins every other feud and has done since Giant Gonzalez.

See, that's the thing with Delirious. He's a danger to anyone he gets into the ring with. Seriously, the guy works far too strong for my liking. All those stiff, unprotected kicks that he does? Wow. Or all the shoot headbutts? Somebody was going to get hurt sooner or later with someone who works as stiff as Delirious does! Oh me, oh my. Considering my track record in the thread so far, I'd like to take the opportunity to point out I was being sarcastic. Thank you. I'm on the fence too. The majority of wrestlers hit hard but aren't what you'd call reckless. You're kicking someone and it's going to hurt but you're trying to kick them in place it shouldn't do serious damage. Should guys tone it down? Yeah, probably. Why don't they? Listen to your average crowd next time someone doesn't hit as chop as hard as a Roderick Strong or kick as hard as a Low Ki. It's either a boo or silence. There's the problem. Fans are demanding of 'noise' on strikes and a lot of guys simply can't work any other way than to provide it, over and over. Really good workers can. Colt Cabana never had the problem either way. Nor Sydal. Delirious? Chuck Taylor? Quackenbush? Adam Pearce? Jimmy Jacobs? None of them need to be STRONG STYLE~ to get a reaction out of a crowd. I'd rather watch them wrestle than Low Ki or BJ Whitmer or Morishima. There's a point there somewhere.

Black's a good young worker, I like him a lot personally. As far as Necro goes, I wouldn't really buy Jimmy and Tyler as huge threats so they needed a big guy backing them up. And I think Necro's worked with The Briscoes a fair few times in the FIP, plus he and Jimmy go way back. How they explain it on-screen will be interesting. I dunno, I guess I'm just not into this whole stables thing personally. Maybe it's just me. The GenNext split got hurt by Aries' TNA involvement, Resiliance is just a really random threesome out of context, Project 161 started off as a ROH board angle which pretty much turned me off from day one, all of the names are really weak and as much as I like Pearce, BJ and Albright still don't do anything for me. EDIT: Although, with Project 161/Age Of Fall or whatever it's called, they've got off to a strong start on-screen. The Briscoes are plain nuts, Jimmy's got a great creepy element to the character and Necro is Necro. You're guaranteed plenty of crazy brawls and angles. So long as they stick with that and stop with the internet garbage and the 'shoot' aspect that NOBODY buys, I'm sold on that. Briscoes vs. Steen and Generico has been my only real point of interest in ROH for a while now. Haven't gotten into the GenNext split thing, Morishima's title reign hasn't interested me whatsoever. I'm hoping this Briscoes/AOF thing takes off.

Stable wars between those that make sense is fine. No problem what-so-ever with the Aries/Strong/Evans storyline. I used the Nation/DOA/Boricuas example (which is basically what it is, GenNext being the original Nation splitting off into other groups) and that worked pretty well. And you can maybe exclude Sweeney's group from the equation. But, what, besides complicate the issue and detract from the actual stable war, do 'Project 161' and 'Hangman 3' do? They've got nothing to do with Evans, Strong or Aries. Putting them into that pretty much kills the whole point, the GenNext guys leading their own stables and seeing who's better. So, you don't put them in... what purpose to they serve? They're still yet more stables. If there were a dozen stables when The Horsemen rose to prominition, would they have been as successful? Wasn't the nWo angle a million times better before nWo Wolfpac, nWo Black and White, lWo, The Flock, The Horsemen, The Dungeon Of Doom etc.? But Dragon Gate, I'd class as Lucha or at least Lucha influenced. You need stables in lucha because of the amount of tag, trios and atomicos matches compared to singles matches. The culture is for stables. ROH isn't Lucha, it's not the culture so it's not accepted so easily. Besides that, Dragon Gate is packed with guys who can put on fantastic multi-man matches. The GenNext stables can. Necro would be a sideshow in that (and I love Necro, don't get me wrong, but he'd stick out like a sore thumb). And BJ/Albright/Pearce? Fantastic matches?

Shh! If we can't use these kind of things to determine who not to like, how else are we supposed to decide exactly!? Besides, you can't let these things just blow over. It's not like Meltzer publishes a "Who you should hate this week" list or something. (Not an official one, anyway.)