King Cucaracha

Megan Skye and Queen Esther vs. Molly and Melody Nerdly

Survivor Series Sweet Sixteen Match Cucaracha Internacional (Landon Maddix and Nathaniel Black; James Blonde and Faqu) and All The Queen's Men (Mardi Gras Hellfire Club; Last Kings Of Scotland) vs. Citizen Soldiers, Christ Air Express, Orange County Cobras and Los Diablos De Fuego One member of a team is eliminated, his partner is gone as well.

[COLOR=red][b]"HOLD UP! WAIT A MINUTE! PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN IT!"[/b][/COLOR] The rocking riffs of Family Force 5’s "Love Addict" boom into the arena. Multicolored spotlights trace a psychedelic path across the entry way, as the numerous video monitors flash with the steamy images of The Love Doctors. Unfortunately, it's Biff Atlas who walks through the entrance, to a loud GROAN. Luckily The Love Doctors themselves are not far behind and resuscitate the hearts of the female fans by performing their strip-tease routine. BUFFER The following contest of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! is a six-man tag team match, set for one fall. On the way to the ring... first, from Venice Beach, California. Weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFF... AAAAATTLLLLLAAAAAASSSS!! And his tag team partners hail from Chicago, Illinois. DR. STEVEN PIGLEY and DR. MAX ANDERSON... THE LLOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEE DDOOOOCCTTOOOORRRRRSSSSSS!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" The de-labcoated Love Doctors slide into the ring and whip the crowd into a frenzy, as Biff is given some almost sympathetic slaps on the back from the fans. COLE Six man tag team actions, with The Doctors Of Love and the would-be superhero! COACH Only in the OAOAST. Unfortunately, I work for the OAOAST. So this is not a good thing. [COLOR=green]"Clean shirt, new shoes and I don't know what I am gonna do. Silk suit, black tie, I don't need a reason why. They come runnin' just as fast as they can cause every girl is crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man."[/COLOR] Boos ring out for the arrival of the opponents, practically oozing "business". The smirking face of Christian Wright appears first, marching in front of his back-up for the night. Both puffing away on big expensive cigars and wearing blazers and suit pants, CPA and Detective Bosley look about as cool as back-up can look. BUFFER And introducing, their opponents. First, from Miami, Florida... the OAOAST's resident V.I.C.E squad... DETECTIVE TTTAAAANNGGOOOO BBOOOSSSSSLLLEEEEEYYY... and CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, C... P... A!!!! And their tag team partner. Now residing in Washington D.C... weighing in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD~! He represents THE ENTERPRISE and is "THE NATURAL"... CCHHRRRIIIIISSSTTIIIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wright walks ahead of his cackling buddies, briefcase in hand and adjusting his collar. He places the briefcase under his corner and begins to unbutton his shirt, while CPA and Bosley are busy stubbing out their cigars. COLE Christian Wright of the Enterprise, teaming tonight with two men who were of course once alligned with The Enterprise, CPA and Tango Bosley. Nowadays, class themselves as 'freelancers'. But still on some good terms with Moneymaker, or at least Moneymaker's money, and back teaming with Christian Wright tonight. COACH And what a team! V.I.C.E, always rolling hard, rolling real-deal. And CDub, on the big win streak! This is some money stuff here, for real. Stripped off and ready to go, CW enters the ring with CPA and Bosley taking up their place on the apron. *DINGDINGDING* Dr. Pigley starts out with Wright, a rematch from last week. And the Doctor gets the crowd clapping, which doesn't sit well with Wright. He commands them to quiet down as he enters a lock-up. Side headlock quietens down Pigley, Wright taking it to the mat. 1... 2... Pigley throws his shoulder up and quickly fights back to his feet. Elbowing CW in the gut, Pigley manages to get free and shoves Wright off into the ropes, only to get knocked down with a shoulder tackle. Wright makes the "money fingers" gesture to the crowd, to boos, then hits the ropes again. Dropdown by Pigley and then a leapfrog keeps Wright on the move, before getting caught with a hiptoss! "YYEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!" Wringing the arm, Pigley tags in Dr. Anderson, who comes in off the top with a double axe to the arm. Anderson quickly wrings the arm out and brings Pigley back in to get a SECOND OPINION!~ COLE You can't fault the teamwork of The Love Doctors, OAOAST veterans of about 5 and a half years. A knee to the gut breaks up Pigley's armbar though and a tag is made to Detective Bosley. The brash musclehead rushes right into an armdrag though and the Docs tag in. A double irish whip sends Bosley off, setting him up for a double inverted atomic drop. The Love Doctors then back off the ropes... BOSLEY COME ON, IS THAT THE BEST YOU'VE GOT!? IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GO -UGH-OOF! ...and blast Bosley with a double dropkick! Cover by Max... 1... 2... Kickout! Arm wrung again, a quick tag is made, this time to Biff! Stepping into the ring the mighty meathead clubs Bosley across the arm. Biff then starts clubbing Bosley in the chest with overhand forearms, slowly backing him across the ring. COLE Look at Biff go! Way to go Biff! With Bosley seemingly worn down to a stop Biff turns on his heels and runs off the ropes. Bosley isn't as beaten down as he's making out though and chases after Biff, elbowing him in the face just as he connects with the ropes! Bosley waits for Biff to stagger off the ropes, then wows everyone with a jump spinning back kick to knock Biff down! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH How about looking at the agility!? My man Bos got ups! COLE This crowd didn't appreciate it much. It really seems like they're warming to Biff. There's something strangely endearing and likeable about him, it's as if the crowd are willing him to succeed. COACH That's super-pathetic. Bringing Biff over to the corner, Bosley tags in CPA and holds Biff wide open for a shot to the ribs. CPA measures Biff, dishing out a couple more bodyshots that drop him. COLE As much as you may want to see Biff succeed, you've got to think he should find some new targets, besides CPA and Bosley, to be trying to beat. And CPA and Bosley just seem to be enjoying themselves everytime they step in the ring with Atlas. CPA lifts Biff back up, only to knock him back down with a headbutt. Wright calls for the tag and starts to put the loafers to Biff, before trapping him in a rear chinlock. COLE And now, the man who's vowed to go unbeaten until the end of time. Speaking of lofty goals. COACH Christian can do it, Michael. Unlike Biff he's got the talent to back those dreams up. He's The God Child! "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" The Love Doctors get the Milwaukee crowd chanting, trying to will Biff on. Hearing the chants, Biff looks as surprised as anyone. "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" WRIGHT SILENCE! "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" Biff starts to fight back to his feet, causing those that weren't chanting to suddenly believe there might be some point to doing so. An elbow is buried into the gut. A second. And a third. Biff is free and hits the ropes. A well-placed knee looks to be his downfall. But somehow, Biff stops and blocks the knee to the midsection! Tripping a shocked Wright up, Biff takes both legs and starts to propel Wright up off the mat, taking him around the ring with the GIANT SWING!! COACH AAAHHH! COLE Just like Wonder Woman! COACH :huh: COLE She used to spin around when she changed clothes...... I'm straight, okay! Letting go of Wright, Biff lacks the equilibrium that Wonder Woman apparantly had and falls to the mat as well. Both Wright and Biff are dizzy and they look around for a while, trying to find their corners. COLE Who's going to get the tag first? Despite all of the swinging, Wright gets the tag off to Bosley first... but Biff is there a second later, tagging in Dr. Max! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Max jumps in over the top and beats Bosley to the punch, rocking him with a flurry of right hands. Off the ropes, Anderson ducks a clothesline and rocks Bosley back with a running dropkick. A second dropkick puts Bosley on the ropes, literally. And a clothesline sends him up and over the top to the floor! Anderson quickly sets his sights, looking for a big dive, but turns around right into a goozle from CPA. COACH ACK! With Anderson by the throat CPA doesn't think to watch out for Dr. Pigley, who springs off the top and wipes him out with a dropkick! COLE Always helps to get a SECOND OPINION. COACH We already made that joke dumbass. After a high-five The Love Docs set to work on CPA. Whipping the bigman off, they deliver the double inverted atomic drop again. Dr. Pigley then holds CPA in place, while Dr. Anderson comes off the ropes with the dropkick. Unusually the Lovematic Grampa isn't enough to put CPA down though, as he just staggers back to the ropes. Pigley and Anderson think quickly and nail CPA with a double clothesline. But still not enough to put him down. So they go to the gut. Two boots double up CPA, setting him up for a Double Flatliner. CPA still has quite the pulse yet though and with a big show of strength just closes his arms together, slamming Pigley and Anderson back-first into each other! COACH Woah! That's scary, right there! The Love Doctors are then nailed with a double clothesline from Allen. COLE The Love Doctors just getting manhandled by CPA! Bosley slides back in to help CPA out, as if he needed it. The illegal man, Pigley is tossed outside, leaving Dr. Max alone two on one. V.I.C.E look to send him to the ropes, but Dr. Max slides underneath the bottom rope. Confused, CPA and Bosley turn around to find Biff Atlas FLYING AT THEM WITH A DOUBLE CROSSBODY BLOCK!!!! COACH WHAT THE HELL!?!? 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE I don't believe it, Biff can actually fly! COACH Yeah, well, neither can he. As Biff tries to take in his super-heroic feat, Wright sneaks up behind and blindsights him, tossing him outside to huge boos. COACH Haha, look, he flew again! Wright dusts his hands, then turns around into a flurry from Dr. Anderson. Quick lefts and rights stun The Natural, before Anderson does a 360 and connects with a spinning backfist. Wright is stunned, so Anderson hits the ropes. A running forearm staggers Wright some more. When Anderson hits the ropes again though, V.I.C.E step out in front of their partner and save him by DESTROYING Dr. Anderson with a double spinebuster slam!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH That's what happens when you get messed up in V.I.C.E! Job done, CPA and Bosley step aside and take care of Pigley and Biff on the outside. All this leaving Wright to pick the bones. Scooping Dr. Anderson up, Wright hooks him up and delivers the STOCKMARKET CRASH, flipping the beaten Anderson over... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COACH Chalk another one up, baby! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of V.I.C.E... and CCHHHRRRIIIISSSTTIIIAAAAANN... WWWRRRRRIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" "Sharp Dressed Man" plays out again, as Wright stands over Anderson with his hands raised in victory. CPA and Bosley look up from the kicking they had been dishing out. And with the job done, they casually walk off to go party. COLE The undefeated streak goes on, Christian Wright continues to back up those complicated words. COACH Speaking of which. Wright grabs a microphone and calls for hush. WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantely vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat! Wright raises his arms in victory, as V.I.C.E look back, brows raised slightly.

COLE November Reign is on the horizon and of course, it's the one time of the year you get to see the wrestlers of the OAOAST pitted off in teams, striving to survive. Big Survivor Series matches on tap. And one of the biggest in November Reign history, added this past weekend. It will be eight versus eight. Cucaracha Internacional and All The Queen's Men, taking on Citizen Soldiers, The Christ Air Express, Orange County Cobras and Los Diablos De Fuego. When your designated partner is eliminated, you are eliminated too, much like our traditional Thanksgiving Survivor Series matches. And with that in mind, let's send it back to Maggie Nerdly for me. Maggie? MAGGIE What's up guys, it's your resident It Girl, Maggie Nerdly here, kicking it live in Milwaukee Wisconsin! And YEE-HAA, we're about to get all Texas sized up in this piece, my guests Timmy Cash and Baron Windels, come on in! Citizen Soldiers walk in and Cash gives Maggie a gentlemanly handshake. MAGGIE So, you guys have been having some problems lately with Landon and his crew... and now, at November Reign, you've got them in a super-ginormous eight on eight tag team Survivor Series Match! what's on your mind? BARON Maggie, let me try and explain this to you. See, I'm Texas born and Texas bred and damn proud of it. And where I come from, we do things a certain way. I was always brought up to say what I mean and mean what I say. I guess in Spain, or South Dakota, or wherever it is Landon actually comes from, things ain't like that, because Landon Maddix has gone back on his word. He told the world he'd put his team up against any four guys with those belts on the line, because they were the best. Well, we're still waiting. Seems like Landon's got a yellow line running down his back, just like that Spanish flag of his. CASH Sorry to interrupt Baron, but I have to agree. Landon did the unthinkable, Maggie... he made a promise and he went back on it. You know, me and Baron, we make a lot of promises. We make a promise to our great fans every time we go through those curtains, to do our best for them. We make a promise to abide by the rules, fight fair, with honour and integrity. We've made promises to some of the bravest, greatest children in this country we've had the great fortune of meeting through the OAOAST's extensive charity work, to keep them in our hearts every day. We don't break our promises, Miss Maggie. BARON So now, you're gonna be dealing with us and MARV and MEL until you finally come through on that promise, Landon. And if the so-called "Queen" and her group of hangers-on want to get in the way... well, we're just gonna have to deal with them too. Baron and Cash leave. MAGGIE Well, looks like the Soldiers are up in arms. I hear that! Alright, let's send it right on ba... HEY! Suddenly dispossessed of her microphone, Maggie turns around... and freezes the moment she realises who's interrupted her. Glaring a whole right through the OAOAST's It Girl, LEON RODEZ looms over her, with Morgan Nerdly lurking in the background. More than enough reason for Maggie to run off before things get ugly. Leon continues to glare off at his former girlfriend, before pointing into the camera. LEON Let me ask you something, Josie? What are you expecting from me? Huh? I know you're watching this right now, not exactly surprised that I'm commandeering this time. I'm sure you expected it. Didn't you? For me to be on the warpath tonight? For me to be in a rage? Frustrated, because I can't find anyone to team with me... that Morgan can't find anyone to team with her... just as you expected. Some plan you had there. One, [i]small[/i], problem. You underestimated me. You think you're the only one... who can come up with a [i]plan[/i]? You think that we'd run around obedientally in your little trap? And take our chances with what fate ends up leaving us with? We couldn't take that chance. There's many... many things in my life that as much as I'd love to... I can do nothing about. [i]This[/i]? A small smile forms at the edge of Leon's lips. Hardly joy. But as close as you'll get. LEON Josie Baker knew fullwell exactly what she was doing. She knew that we, the outcasts of the OAOAST, would never be able to assemble Survivor Series teams. Nobody would want to help us out. Nobody would care. So I've had to go over her head. Leon holds up a piece of paper, gripped tightly in his hand. LEON What I have here is an order, from OAOAST upper management... that allows us to pick WHOEVER we want to team with us at November Reign. Anyone at all. Whether they [i]want to[/i], or not. Tucking the microphone under his chin, Leon rummages in his pocket and grabs a pen. He then prepares to write something onto the papers. LEON So, with that in mind, I'd like to introduce you to the other members of my Survivor Series team... (*scribbles*) ...The Heavenly Rockers... (*scribbles*) ...Thunderkid... (*scribbles*) ...and, last, but [i]certainly[/i] not least... the OAOAST World Champion, REJECT. Popping the lid back on the pen, Leon screws the papers up and shoves them into his pocket without much care or consideration. LEON I'm sure we'll get along just [i]great[/i]... for as long as we [i]have to[/i]. Leon storms off, with Maggie hesitating a second before following. COLE Wow, can you believe that Coach!? Not only has Leon Rodez forced the hand of the OAOAST to allow him and Morgan to hand-pick their November Reign team-mates, but what team-mates they are! The Heavenly Rockers, who have been at odds with D*LUX for months. Thunderkid, who had the US Title taken from him by Alix. And REJECT. The World Champion, who's not only going to have to be on opposing sides from Alfdogg, but also teaming with Rodez, who's World Title shot he interrupted at the Halloween Spectacular to become the champion in the first place! COACH I don't like the sounds of that team, Michael. Call me captain obvious, but... something's up, for Leon to wanna team with Reject. He's gotta have some kinda plan in his head. And I dread to think what. COLE Rodez, Reject, Thunderkid and The Heavenly Rockers against Alix, Alfdogg, D*LUX and one more, Sunday October 29th at November Reign!!

Backstage in the locker rooms, we find Landon Maddix, sat on a bench reading the newest edition of OAOAST Magazine as he waits for someone. Yes, we have a magazine now. Landon flicks through, not bothering to read the articles, so apparantly it's not a particularly good magazine. His eyes are eventually drawn from the pictures as in her long, flowing ballgown Queen Esther appears, full of joy as always. QUEEN ESTHER Are you ready for me? LANDON Absolutely. Ready and raring to go. But, before we get going... are you [i]sure[/i] you want to go through with this? QUEEN ESTHER Indeed I am. I am completely at your mercy, sir. Do what you must! LANDON (claps his hands together) Okay then. QUEEN ESTHER What should I do first? LANDON Well... I think you're going to have to lose the gown. This is going to be kinda tricky otherwise. QUEEN ESTHER Oh, of course! Allow me to go to my quarters and change into something more, "befitting". Queen Esther courtseys to Landon and disappears into "her quarters", that being another part of the dressing room. Cut back to Sofa Central. COLE :huh: COACH :huh: COLE ...*ahem*. Not... sure what's going on there. But, we'll be back with more of... whatever it is... after this break. I suspect you won't be tuning out.

Back from commercials, we find Queen Esther as we've never quite seen her before. In a tracksuit. Seriously, what did you think was going on? Quit skipping back and forth between this and downloading porn and concentrate. (If I have to, then you should too). Wearing the most luxurious tracksuit you could probably find, mauve velour, Queen Esther nervously skips about, doing something kinda resembling warm-ups. She throws something that almost resembles a shadow-boxing punch, then looks somewhat worried she may have hurt THE AIR. Suddenly, a loud clap startles her, as Landon walks back in wearing his own, official Cucaracha Internacional tracksuit. Not quite so nice, blood red colour and Adidas brand with the badge covered up. LANDON Okay, are we ready to start? QUEEN ESTHER Most certainly! LANDON Great. Okay, the first step is infact mental preparation. You have to prepare the mind before you prepare the body. Now, I hope you don't mind me asking a personal question. Were you involved in many fights as a youngster? QUEEN ESTHER Oh, heavens no! Why, I couldn't think of anything worse than engaging in physical combats! LANDON .....well, that could certainly be a problem. If it didn't work for Biff Atlas, it's not going to work for you. You're going to have to work on that. Mental preparation. You're going to have to really psych yourself up. Put aside all of your ladylike qualities. Make no mistake, you're going to have to be ready to fight. QUEEN ESTHER Oh dear! LANDON No no, it's okay. That's a good thing. Let's see... uhm... maybe some music? You know, to get the blood pumping. QUEEN ESTHER Splendid idea! I do believe my father had a little ditty he hummed, whenever he went out hunting in the grounds. (raises an arm) This is my rifle! (raises other arm) This is my sword! Drop to your knees and pray to the Lord! Landon takes this battlecry in, rubbing his chin. LANDON ...I was thinking more along the lines of some Jay-Z... but, whatever works for you. Right, let's start with the basics first. Are you familiar with the hammerlock? QUEEN ESTHER I'm afraid not. Although, perhaps you should consult with my Last Kings. They would be more familiar with the fjords and inlets of Scotland than I. LANDON ..... QUEEN ESTHER ..... LANDON Let me teach you the hammerlock. Queen Esther looks quite excited. After all, she's learning! And learning is fun kids! Landon applies the simple hammerlock very slowly so that the Queen can take it all in, going behind and pulling up on the arm. QUEEN ESTHER OH! LANDON Oh, I'm sorry! QUEEN ESTHER No no, do not apologise. For we are in the heat of battle! I am a warrior! Hear me roar world! LANDON Let's not get ahead of ourselves. One step at a time here. The world can wait for another day. Now, once you're in this position, you've got to think about making an escape. There's a few ways you can go, so find the best one. Now, you want to keep a wide base, get your balance. You look up (Esther reaches up)... then to the side (Esther turns to the side)... and then you look down... And wouldn't you know it, just as Queen Esther bends over, the door opens and Megan Skye walks in. Landon's eyes bug out and without thinking, he lets Esther goes and nudges her away from him. Esther takes a spill forwards onto all fours, her knees thudding off the floor. QUEEN ESTHER Oh my, I did it! I have never felt so alive! Megan just stares blankly at Landon, arms folded. MEGAN Go ahead. I'm listening. LANDON It's not what you think! I was just trying to teach Queen Esther some moves! QUEEN ESTHER Your kind gentlemen friend is teaching me the noble arts of hand to hand combat, and of self defence. I am alive! LANDON It's true! That's what's happening... I think. Something like that, anyway. I missed a couple of words, but the jist of it seemed right. Megan just shakes her head and sighs, perpetually frustrated with dealing with life. At least life with Landon. MEGAN Okay, one question. Why? LANDON Well, that's why I called you. See, I spoke to Josie and she's made a match. With this eight on eight match at November Reign coming up, she wants to get something out there to give everyone a taste of what's to come. Like a preview. So, I suggested, why not do something different? There's eight guys on each side... but, why leave out the girls? Are you a sexist? Against women? Is that even possible if you are a woman yourself? Reverse sexism? Evidently she isn't, but these are questions that sprung into my head at the time. Anyway, she's made a match, next week on Syndicated. It's Molly and Melody against you... and Queen Esther! Isn't that great? Megan takes one long, scolding look at Landon, before looking at Queen Esther. The eager Queen flashes a smile and waves at her tag team partner. This earns Landon another scolding look, before Megan turns away, muttering to herself... MEGAN ...swear to God... The door shuts behind Megan and Landon looks sheepish for a second, before turning back to Queen Esther, who's oblivious to any idea that there may be a problem. LANDON Okay, let's try a headlock.

Leon recruits his SS team. Christian Wright and V.I.C.E vs. Biff Atlas and The Love Doctors Some Landon/Esther segments, building up to a Syndicated match. Yes. Really. Welcome to the new millenium.

[b]***The Christ Air Express w/Melody Nerdly -VS- The Last Kings Of Scotland w/Queen Esther***[/b] A fast start from the Christ Air Express saw them take command against the Scots. MARV and MEL's speed and telekinetic powers of twinship left Danny Boy and Scott unable to keep up, struck dumb by the CAE's quick double-teams. Queen Esther called her Kings together to regroup. And slowing the pace down was just what the Scots needed. MARV and MEL couldn't match Danny Boy and Scottish Scott's power and the tide turned against them. Isolating MEL, the LKOS slowly and methodically picked their opponent apart as Queen Esther watched on beaming with pride. It was methodicalness that cost the LKOS though. A rehearsed series of charges in the corner all missed, MEL rolling and ducking out of the way of at least four charges before getting the tag! MARV flew into action and blazed through the Scots. Forced to regroup again, Danny Boy and Scott were this time wiped out with somersault dives, first from MEL, then from MARV. Back inside and Scott managed to cut MARV off. Setting up for the Collie-buckie (Spinning front electric chair slam), he almost fell to a victory roll counter. As Scott tried to keep up with MARV, he suddenly saw double, MEL back in to assist with a Happy Ending (Double Ace Crusher). One more dive from MEL then kept Danny Boy out of the way, while MARV finished off Scott with the Marvellousity (Pheonix Splash), leaving Queen Esther horror-struck. [b]Winners[/b]: The Christ Air Express, via pinfall

Christ Air Express vs. Last Kings Of Scotland

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Suddenly, the cameras cut to the entrance way as LEON RODEZ stalks to the ring. COLE Oh, great. Looks like we're being interrupted here, Leon Rodez, apparantly with something more important to say. COACH I don't doubt that. Some warning woulda been nice though! Leon enters the ring with a microphone, head bowed. His eyes look out from under his brow and glare at the fans jeering him, trying to prevent him from speaking. He sighs into the microphone and starts speaking slowly and carefully. LEON I came here tonight... to get what I want. Nobody will return my calls. Nobody will answer my requests. So until I do get what I want, I am going to stand in this ring... and I am going to wait... "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" LEON I am sick... and I am tired... of outside forces standing in my way of being the World's Heavyweight Champion. I cannot do anything about bad luck. And I cannot do anything about the fates, that seem to have conspired to make my life a living, breathing hell. But none of that has to do with why I am out here. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" LEON They're not to blame this time. The people to blame are Reject... Alix Maria Spezia... and Josie Baker... and I [i]can[/i] do something about them. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" LEON And until I get the fair, unhindered shot at the World Title that I deserve... then I will take my frustrations out on whichever forces I do have control over. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Finally being drowned out, Leon stops and scowls at the audience. COLE Boy, Leon, about as bitter as we've ever seen him. And that's saying something, with his actions and demeanour in the past eight months. COACH I think he's deadly serious, Michael. And I don't like the fact that you and me are the closest guys to him wearing OAOAST logos on our shirts. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" LEON It seems that this company... is run by some very insecure people. These people see fit to play with the lives of those below them. They kick people while they are down... they tread on those who get in their way... and they revel in the power and the wealth that they do not deserve. The good people of the OAOAST, like me, are treated with disdain and disgust... the unloved toys that are kicked around and torn and twisted... this company is unfair and unjust... it rewards the evil and the greedy... Finally, to the relief of everyone, JOSIE BAKER appears on the stage, flanked by security. Leon scowls up the ramp at her, as she shakes her head. JOSIE Okay, that's quite enough Leon. You've said your piece and I've said mine. You're not getting what you want tonight. LEON You are exactly the kind of person that I am talking about. You have the power and the wealth... and you have gotten there with a complete disregard for anyone else around you. Not only have you systematically picked me apart, you sit behind your desk and you bully someone defenceless like Morgan... you plot annd you scheme to try and ruin her life as well, you... JOSIE Excuse me!? Defenceless!? Morgan!? No no, we're not even getting into that, but you are way off the mark. And from the sounds of it, you may well be completely off the deep-end too! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" The cheers of the crowd bite at Leon, causing him to cringe. LEON You people cheer... and laugh... at the thought of mental illness and suffering of someone else? These are your people, Josie? The people your company panders to and placates? Why am I not surprised? JOSIE You know, we could stand her all day and listen to your own personal brand of "life lessons", Leon. But, I have a show to run. So, I'm going to make this very simple. You say that you want to "do something". That's fine by me. But you will NOT being doing anything about Reject, because you are not getting a shot at the OAOAST World Championship in the near future. And you should get rid of any thoughts of doing something about me, right now. But as far as Alix Maria Spezia goes? You might just be able to do something about her. Because in just over two weeks, we've got a Pay Per View called November Reign. And at November Reign, there will be traditional Survivor Series Matches. Including, just signed, a match with a team lead by Alix, taking on a team lead by yourself. Shaking his head, Leon doesn't much care for this announcement. LEON You know what I want, Josie... and you know that [i]that[/i] is not even close to it. JOSIE Well, as the saying goes Leon, you can't always get what you want. And unless you leave this ring right now, you will get a little of what you need. "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Woah. Josie Baker, laying down the law! COACH Yeah, with about 20 people backing her up! Leon paces around the ring, before glaring back up at Josie. LEON I might get what I need, you say. Well, the way I see it, with Krista on the disabled list... you [i]need[/i] Alix Maria Spezia to stay healthy. That's the thing with life, Josie. You think you have it all figured out. And then it stabs you clean through the heart! Trust me when I tell you, sometimes you don't get what you want, [i]or[/i] what you need... you just get hurt. Dropping the microphone, Leon leaves the ring. Josie's security parts to let him up the aisle, but Leon takes a different route and leaves over the barricade and through the crowd just to be problematic. Josie watches him navigate through the crowd, a troubled expression on her face.

At the back of the arena, we see Leon Rodez and Morgan Nerdly, preparing to leave. United in misery, they reach the back door, before being bellowed at. JOSH LEON! LEON, can I get a word! Huffing and puffing, Josh Matthews jogs over with a microphone, to a cold welcome. JOSH Uhm, we heard earlier on that at November Reign, you will be captaining a Survivor Series team, to take on a team captained by Alix Maria Spezia... and, of course, Morgan you're also captaining a Survivor Series team. Have you got any thoughts yet on who you're going to select for your teams? Looming towards Josh, Leon glares him down, making him regret ever asking a question in his life. LEON As far as I'm concerned... we're the [i]only[/i] people in this world who will watch our backs. We look out for each oher... because no-one else will... so, how about you tell me who I'm supposed to find to team with? Leon turns away and ushers Morgan out the door and out the arena, leaving Josh answerless.

"Right Round" by Flo Rida hits and it's party time in Tampa! Not that you'd know it, the fans not in a Mardi Gras mood. Strutting his stuff, Rico de Janeiro heads out with fistfuls of coloured beads, hoping to see some action from the ladies. BUFFER The following contest is a Fatal Fourway Match, scheduled for one fall! And by order of OAOAST President Josie Baker, all outside parties will be BARRED from ringside for this match. Introducing, participant number one. From Rio de Janeiro, Brazil... weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds. He is "THE WHITE KNIGHT" of the MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB... RRIIIIIICCOOOOO... DDEEE JJJAAAAANNEEEEIIIIRRRRRROOOOOOOOO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Always on the lookout, is Rico. But those wandering eyes certainly got him into trouble two weeks ago, at the Halloween Spectacular. COACH Wandering eyes!? There was no wandering needed, his eyes were ASSAULTED! Look! [QUOTE=OAOAST HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR 2009, Orange County Cobras vs. Mardi Gras Hellfire Club] Suddenly THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND hit ringside and lay out Simon, then flee like thieves in the night. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What the heck?! Ned continues to hammer Lucius, the attack on Simon unbeknownst to him. But a clubbing blow to the back by Rico grabs his attention. From the middle rope Ned is placed in position for THE MOUSTACHE RIDE. COLE Uh-oh. COACH Uh-oh indeed. The guys told me their Moustache Ride/swinging DDT combo is called 3:10 to Hell. Ready for flight, Lucius becomes distracted when Molly hops on the apron and FLAS... [COLOR=red][b]******BIG GIANT FUCKING RED X ON THE SCREEN! NO BOOBIES FOR YOU!********[/b][/COLOR] Rico drops Ned and hurls a pair of BEADS to Molly. LUCIUS Oh, shit. Lucius gets popped and thrown into Rico! Both men stagger to their feet and a DOUBLE COCONUT by Ned! The Handsome Hustler clotheslines Rico over the top and nails Lucius with THE SLINGSHOT SUPLEX!![/QUOTE] COACH Ridiculous! COLE Well, Molly admits she got caught up in the moment, but what's done is done. COACH No, not that. They censored the footage! Bullshit! COLE But, you were ju... I mean, yo... oh forget it. Rico stands in the ring, stroking his moustache and watching the big screen. Suddenly, his lip curls as "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco plays. The red carpet is rolled out for Ned Blanchard, who smirks at Rico on his way down the aisle. BUFFER Participant number two, from Beverly Hills, California! Weighing two hundred, thirty five pounds... he is one half of the ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER"... NNEEEEEEEDD... BBLLLLLLAAAAANNCCHHHHAAAARRRRRDD!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" As soon as Ned rolls inside, Rico exits the ring and talks a walk. Ned sarcastically tells Rico to keep his eyes on him and not anything else (like breasts), then climbs the ropes and poses for the crowd. COACH What a smug SOB. [COLOR=red][i]"You try to play cool Like you just don't care But soon I'll be playin' in your underwear Givin' me all that I desire 'Cos down with me I'm taking you higher"[/i][/COLOR] "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Warren Miller version)" by Weezer hits and James Blonde swaggers through the entrance, wearing a one of a kind white version of his usual entrance jacket. Trends, and stuff. Fluffing his hair, Blonde extends his arms outwards and dares the crowd to boo him. Which, they do. A lot. BUFFER Participant number three. Hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia... he represents CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL! Weighing two hundred, eight pounds... one quarter of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJAAAAAMMMEEEESSSSS... BBLLLLLOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wagging his finger, Blonde elects not to step into the ring yet. He walks around the ring and pats Rico on the back. And suddenly it's all smiles from the Brazilian, as he and Blonde warn Ned he's in trouble now. COLE Well this should be an interesting dynamic here. We know that there's been some kind of "working agreement" made, between Landon Maddix and Queen Esther. So will we see Rico and Blonde work together tonight, even though this is every man for themselves? COACH I hope so. Looking down at his opponents, Ned doesn't seem worried and gives them both a firm UP YOURS. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I don't think Ned is concerned either way! Blonde and Rico reel from the shock of that, into the shock of BIG HUGE exploding pyro! The home audience is shown an overhead view of the entrance stage, it's metallic floor carpeted by simmering flames that form the shape of a bull's head. The camera then pans down to reveal Baron Windells, throwing up the longhorns! BUFFER And the final competitor. From San Antonio, Texas! Weighing two hundred, sixty five pounds... "THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER"... BBAAAAARRRROOOOOONN... WWWWIIIIIIIIINNDDEEEELLLLSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Big Baron marches to the ring and throws up the horns to the crowd, all business tonight. He pulls off his white leather jacket and hurls it over the ropes, narrowly missing Rico and Blonde, who aren't so cocky now the odds are evened up. COLE Baron Windels, cost a match last week by Landon Maddix. And clearly in a bad mood here tonight. COACH What's he mad at James for? What has he done to deserve it? COLE Unending loyalty to Landon? COACH Well, they're not [i]actually[/i] that close, you know. Just occassional acquaintances. *DINGDINGDING* The referee calls for the bell, but with only two men in the ring. Outside, Blonde and Rico try to come up with a plan. They decide to rush the ring on '3'... or, at least, Blonde does. However, Rico bottles out. Blonde gets to his feet and quickly realises he's alone, turning to Rico and shouting at him for desertion, before getting a sinking feeling. And he turns around into a right hand from Baron! COACH Ahh, JB just got punked out! Baron unloads with big Texas sized right hands before backing up, clotheslining Blonde up and over the top to the floor! Baron wastes no time in going after him. Which sends Rico scurrying, not realising Ned has left the ring on the other side and is there to meet him with right hands of his own! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Blonde and Baron do battle on one side of the ring, Rico and Ned on the other. Not that either is much of a battle. Baron and Ned slug away, while JB and Rico just try to escape the beatings they're taking. COLE And it is breaking down already! With a knee to the gut, Rico manages to turn the tables on Ned. Meanwhile, Blonde opts for the "run for your life" tactic and escapes from Baron, rolling back inside the ring. Blonde tries to catch Baron unprepared with a right hand as he follows behind, but Baron blocks and decks Blonde with a Texas right of his own! Having had quite enough of being punched in the face for one night, Blonde backs into a corner and begs off. Baron has none of it though and whips Blonde across the ring. Throwing up the horns, Windels follows in and forces Blonde to BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS! Blonde staggers out, as Baron takes off into the ropes and nails a diving Texas lariat! Cover... 1... 2... Broken up by Rico! The Brazilian clubs away on Baron and attempts an irish whip. A reversal sends Rico off instead, but he manages to put on the brakes, booting Baron in the chest. Rico stops to stroke his porn 'stache and almost pays for it as Baron retaliates with a clothesline. But Rico manages to duck and twist Windels around into a neckbreaker. Cover by Rico... 1... 2... But it's Ned in this time to interrupt. COLE It's hard to get a quick pin in a match like this, while you've got two other opponents lying around, still relatively fresh. Ned lays into Rico with right hands, backing him against the ropes. Irish whip is reversed by Rico this time. A scoop up on the rebound doesn't work, as Ned slips out the back. He goes to scoop Rico, but Rico slips out as well. Both men aim and miss with clotheslines, before Ned is able to snatch Rico's thick legs and guide him into the top rope throat first with the STUNGUN! Ned makes the pin... 1... 2... And Blonde piles on top to break it all up. COLE Organised chaos here on HeldDOWN~! What could be better? COACH You want a list or were you being rhetorical? Ned shrugs Blonde off and fires away with right hands, sending JB back into a corner. Opening up a carton of California orange juice in the corner, Ned stomps a mudhole in Blonde's chest and walks it dry. Behind him, Baron picks Rico up and starts teeing off with right hands again. Baron whips Rico to the ropes and surprises everyone by throwing an impressive dropkick to knock Rico off his feet! COLE Wow, big 6'7 265 Baron, leaving his feet with that dropkick! Cover by Baron... 1... 2... Kickout. Turning away from Blonde, Ned converses with Baron. The former rivals combine to whip Rico off the ropes again. Baron takes him down with a drop toehold and Blanchard delivers the POINTY ELBOW~! COLE VINTAGE Orange County Cobra... wait a second... oh, now my head hurts. COACH Now ya know how we feel. Ned jumps right back up to lay out Blonde with a clothesline and fires up the crowd, Baron doing the same in the background. COLE These two are looking good now. But sooner or later, they're going to have to fight it out amongst themselves if they wanna win. Picking Blonde back up, Ned prepares his newfound friend, whipping JB into a Big Boot to the face! Blonde rolls out of the ring and Rico is left alone, struggling to his feet. A boot from Baron doubles him up and the Texan encourages Ned to go up top, while he prepares a suplex. As Ned goes up though, Rico blocks the suplex. Ned's foot is then grabbed by Blonde, while Rico gets a small package on Baron! 1... 2... NO! Back up first, Baron lays out Rico with a right hand, then runs over and boots Blonde off the apron. As he turns back around though, Rico is waiting with a clothesline! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rico strokes at his 'stache, not paying attention to Ned, who comes off the top and clubs him from behind! "YYYAAAAAAAAYYYY!!" Ned goes to make the cover... 1... ...but is pulled out of the ring by James Blonde. Frustrated, Ned takes a big swing at Blonde. But he ducks and sends Ned CRASHING into the steel steps with a shove in the back!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Ooh, Ned went in hard, shoulder first. Back inside, Baron and Rico are up and trading punches. It's an even fight until Blonde slides back in and suddenly Baron is overwhelmed, two on one. Rico and Blonde club Baron down to a knee before stopping to stroke 'stache/fluff hair. COACH Oh yeah, lookin' good guys! COLE Yes, but which looks sleazier. I'd say it's a toss-up. A double irish whip sends Baron off the ropes. Baron doesn't even bother ducking the double clothesline, instead BREAKING through the arms. And as he rebounds back, he delivers a double clothesline of his own! Blonde weasels his way to safety again, so Baron goes on the attack on Rico instead. Right hands club the Brazilian back against the turnbuckles, the Tampa crowd behind every single one of them. Hooking Rico up, Baron then runs out of the corner, looking for a bulldog. Blonde suddenly re-appears from his hole and tries to intercept Baron with a clothesline, forcing the Texan to bail out and duck. When he turns around, Rico connects with a knee though, allowing Blonde to follow up with a dropkick to the side of the head. COACH Look at that, great teamwork. COLE Well it's two on one. Baron can only fight those odds for so long. Ned climbs back to the apron to try and even those odds, but is dropkicked off by Blonde. He preens, while Rico heaves up the 265 pound Baron for a vertical suplex. "LET'S GO BAR - ON!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "LET'S GO BAR - ON!" *clap clap clapclapclap* Sneering Blonde walks over, delivering a jumping stomp to Baron's head. The screen suddenly splits in two and we find interested observers watching on. In an otherwise humble looking locker room, Queen Esther sits in her giant throne, applauding gleefully at what she's now seeing. Standing alongside her, big smile on his face, is Landon Maddix. They chat away carefree, while they watch Baron being double-teamed. COLE And there you see Queen Esther and Landon Maddix, looking on. I guess that answers any questions about whether their business agreement is still in force. COACH So Rico and JB working together didn't tip it off for you? Pulled to his feet Baron is backed against the ropes and shot off. Double back elbows knock him down and it's all smiles for Rico and Blonde. Baron isn't going down without a fight though and gets in some blows to the stomachs, before he's stomped down again. COLE Looks like Blonde is trying to direct traffic here. What a complex this guy has. A number of them. The Trendsetter heads to the top, while Rico takes care of Baron. After some clubbing blows to the back the Brazilian shows his strength again, lifting Baron up and dropping him across the knee with an old-school gutbuster. Rico then steps aside, stroking his porn 'stache, while Blonde leaps from the top and puts his knee into the side of Baron's head!! COACH The Brand Labelling! Slap a price-tag on that man and cover him! COLE ...what!? Minus the price-tag bit, Blonde does just that... 1... 2... RICO PULLS BLONDE UP. "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COACH Uh-oh. COLE Well, so much for the teamwork. COACH Thank goodness Landon is there to attend to the Queen, she wouldn't want to witness this! Understandably annoyed, Blonde gripes at Rico but the Brazilian insists he just wants to do some more damage to Baron first. And he points Blonde back up to the top again. Not sure about this, Blonde goes up top anyway, as Rico puts Baron in a standing headscissors. However, Baron blocks being taken up for the powerbomb and Blonde is left stranded on the top rope, when Ned climbs to the apron and SHOVES HIM OFF THE TOP TO THE ARENA FLOOR BELOW!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH AAAHHHH!! Are his tights okay? COLE Are his TIGHTS okay!? COACH You don't know how much those things cost! He might have torn them, or broken a zip! Baron eventually manages to backdrop Rico, freeing himself. As he rolls aside, Ned takes over, unloading with punches on Mr. de Janeiro. Rico is backed into the ropes and sent off, dropped with a hard back elbow. And then a clothesline. Rico tries to retaliate, but Ned ducks the punch and jars Rico's spine with an atomic drop. COLE Oh no! Right to the [i]TIGHTS[/i]! COACH Shut up. As Rico wobbles, Ned comes off the ropes and levels the hairy chest of his opponent with a lunging clothesline, enough to put him down for the pin... 1... 2... NO! Ned drags Rico up with a handful of hair and calls for the end. COLE Could be going for the Slingshot Suplex! Setting Rico up, Ned can't get the burly Brazilian up for it though. Rico manages to block twice, then tries to counter with his own suplex. Ned floats over the back, landing on his feet though. As Rico turns around, Ned picks the legs, looking for the STUN GUN... but Rico blocks that too. A double axe across the back weakens up Ned and Rico takes him up over the shoulder, ready to dish out a free MOUSTACHE RIDE... ...until Baron pulls Ned to safety! Rico has no idea what happens until he turns around, met with boots to the gut and hit with a DOUBLE SLINGSHOT SUPLEX!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HOW ABOUT THAT! A little teamwork from Baron and Blanchard, who'd have thought you'd see that!? COACH Yeah but now they've got to cover him. Coach spots the problem before anyone else, including Ned and Baron, who both go to cover and get in each other's way. They go face to face for a second, before Ned just shrugs and starts slugging away on Windels! And Windels returns fire! COLE Well, should have seen that coming at least. Baron and Ned go punch for punch, trading blows. Baron gets the better of it with right hands (did I mention they were TEXAS-sized?) and sends Ned for the ride, looking for a Big Boot. Ducking underneath Ned avoids the boot and quickly takes out the other knee with a chopblock! Some of the Tampa crowd jeer Ned for what they deem a cheapshot. But Blanchard isn't cut up about that and he quickly dishes out a DDT, covering Baron... 1... 2... Kickout! Backing into a corner Ned elevates himself up, onto the middle rope. Clasping his hands together he takes off, the double sledge weilded. But he lands right across Baron's knee, with an eye-popping inverted atomic drop!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" NED :O Removing Ned from his knee, Baron boots him in the chest, firmly enough to knock Ned against the ropes, so he can dish out the MYSPACE COMEBACK as he bounces back!! Leg hooked by Baron... 1... 2... NO! COLE Two of the OAOAST's finest, battling it out here. And this crowd about 50/50, some for Ned, some for Baron. Both great athletes. Slipping off his elbowpad Baron gives the call for one more as he waves Ned back to his feet. COACH Looks like it's about time to start being a Baron Windels fan. COLE Another big Lariat, here it comes. Ned stumbles to his feet, a sitting duck for what's waiting for him. Off the ropes, Baron loads up, looking for a Lariat... but suddenly comes to a stop, as James Blonde grabs his ankle from the floor. And clings on for dear life. COLE Wait a minute, Blonde from the outside... like a leech, look at that grip! Baron struggles to pull his foot free, but is trapped. And with the referee's line of sight taken for a second, Rico sneaks up behind Ned and delivers a LOWBLOW!!!! COLE HEY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The referee turns around and sees Rico, coming off the ropes and unleashing THE HAND OF GOD to Blanchard!! Ned curls up in a ball and Rico stacks him up, trying to conseal the balls being nursed... 1... Blonde clings onto Baron, preventing him from breaking the pin... 2... 3!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Aw, come on! *DINGDINGDING* "Right Round" strikes up and the moment the bell sounds, Blonde lets go of Baron's leg and scampers away before he can get kicked. Baron is too late to get to Rico and he escapes with his hand raised in victory and his porn stache stroked in delight. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your winner of the match... RRIIIIICCOOO... DEE JJAAANNEEEIIIIIRRRROOOOO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rico nods his head with a smirk and strokes on the 'stache. Getting to his side, Blonde gives him a half-hearted pat on the back in congratulations, before holding his hip in pain from the fall he took earlier. COACH It's amazing what a good business relationship can do, isn't it? COLE It's amazing what a lowblow can do, I know that much. COACH Oh really? Is that really any worse than exposing your breasts to distract someone? You reap what you sow in this game Cole and Ned Blanchard.... well... let's just say, he got S-OWNED~! COLE Very clever. Knelt near Ned, Baron scowls at the victory celebration unfolding in front of him and slaps the ring mat in frustration. Meanwhile, backstage, Queen Esther claps her hands like a child on Christmas morning, Landon smiling as if it were all down to him.

[b]***Malaysia Nerdly w/Mr. Dick -VS- Kelly Browne***[/b] Not the way to make a debut, here. The young local female wrestler looked nervous from the moment Malaysia stepped into the ring and rightly so. Malaysia completely towered over her opponent. No match physically and no match, period. Malaysia stared down at Kelly with a smile, then on the bell, unleashed a brutal beating, stopping here and there to really savour the pain she was dishing out. Mister Dick watched all this with a big ol' smile on his face. Young Kelly was basically beaten to a pulp, before Malaysia started to step out of first gear. A Fallaway Slam and a release Butterfly Suplex, the big moves of the beating, before Malaysia clamped her opponent in the Inverted Boston Crab for the quick submission. [b]Winner[/b]: Malaysia Nerdly, via submission. A recap aired of the Heavenly Rockers/D*LUX Cage Match at the Halloween Spectacular, which I'm reliably informed wasn't actually on PPV. So whoever ended up getting my money needs to pay it back. NowAnyway, Alix helpfully informed us that The Heavenly Rockers had formed an official complaint through Theodore Moneymaker's legal team, to challenge the result of the match and specifically the DQ of Logan Mann. Logan had also been fined $3,000 for "being a big old meanie", aka improper conduct, plus an extra $5,000 to pay for the damage he caused to OAOAST and arena property, having trashed his locker room. More details on the NEWZWIRE. [b]***Biff Atlas -VS- Detective Tango Bosley w/CPA***[/b] A not-quite-rematch from HeldDOWN two weeks ago, as Biff Atlas took on Tango Bosley, partner of CPA, who beat Biff in that match. Footage played during V.I.C.E's entrance from earlier in the night, where Bosley and CPA were playing cards. They interrupted the game to make a side-bet, that Bosley couldn't beat Biff in a quicker time than CPA did. Clearly, even a bet couldn't make Bosley take Biff seriously. He beat on the would-be superhero for a while, laughing and chuckling at every time Biff tried to "hulk" up and make out like a shot didn't hurt. But it did. Bosley began to get a little over-confident though and Biff found a way into the match with some clotheslines and FLYING shoulder tackles. Far from being worried about his partner, CPA seemed amused at Bosley's problems, counting his winnings in his head. Biff eventually got ahead of himself and went to the top, which proved a mistake, hit with a Roundhouse Kick in mid-air! A Frontflip Swinging Neckbreaker got a 2 count for Bosley, who looked over to CPA, pointing to his watch. Biff made another attempted fightback. But it was to be for nought, as his punches were shrugged off. Another Roundhouse Kick left Biff prone for Justifiable Homicide (Unprettier) and the 3 count, just within CPA's time. [b]Winner[/b]: Detective Tango Bosley, via pinfall After the match, Bosley took great joy in being paid his money by CPA. The bigman took his annoyance out on Biff, planting him with the Dominator. However, Bosley was so amused at this that he decided to split the winnings with CPA anyway, making the whole bet useless, if not for the fun they had beating up poor Biff.

I'll have something too, just gotta figure out what.

In her office, Josie Baker is busy in mid-conversation, with a sheepish looking Molly Nerdly. MOLLY ...but, it won't happen again, I promise. JOSIE It better hadn't. Otherwise next time, you'll be explaining yourself to the board of directors. Besides, what do you think your fellow students think of you, exposing yourself on live Pay Per View? MOLLY It was Halloween. Half of them were doing the same thing... on a smaller scale, admittedly. And also, a couple of them do life drawing classes, where you have to paint the naked model? Anyway, they said I was breaking down barriers. You know, desensitising the natural state of nudity? JOSIE This isn't [i]art[/i], Molly. It's wrestling. Big difference. Now, I can't let this go unpunished I'm afraid, so you can expe... A THUD suddenly interrupts the lecture. Stomping into the room with a face like thunder, [b]Leon Rodez[/b] glares a hole through Josie's forehead. LEON (to Molly) Leave. Now. Not needing telling twice, Molly hurries off. Josie tries not to let herself by intimidated by the hulking, fuming wrestler in her face and stares right back. LEON You owe me. JOSIE I take it this is about Sunda... LEON You owe me... and you know it. I had Krista beat. I got [i]screwed[/i] last week... and I want to know what you're going to do about it. JOSIE Well the way I see it, you screwed yourself. If you hadn't asked for it to be no disqualifications, then Alix wouldn't have been able to interfere, would she? You know, not everything is everyone else's fault in your life, Leon. Barely able to contain himself, Leon grinds his teeth. LEON You know damn well, you also said no outside interference. But apparantly, that doesn't extend to anyone helping Krista. And you know damn well, I asked for a one on one match. All these goddamn briefcases... I am sick and tired of people running in and snatching away what's rightfully mine! JOSIE Well, I also said last week that you've used up your opportunites. And I stick by that. So for now, you're just going to have to wait in line. Leon just stands there, breathing heavily, staring at Josie. Then, suddenly, he makes a move forward, pinning Josie up against her desk. LEON Do you want to know, what I felt, when I hit that 450 on Krista last week? Do you want to know, what I felt, when I heard her arm SNAP in two!? Do you want to know how I felt when I looked at her eyes glazing over, her lips trembling, barely able to take a breath!? NOTHING. I felt NOTHING. Now, I accept... that the whole world is against me. But I am long since past the point of lying down and taking it. And as far as I'm concerned, anyone who's against me and is playing their part in making my life a living hell... they deserve EVERYTHING they get. No matter... WHO... they are. JOSIE Y-you wouldn't dare lay a finger on me. LEON Oh... maybe [i]I[/i] wouldn't. Josie's eyes widen. LEON The question is... do you want to find out? Taking a step away Leon finally gives Josie some space to breathe, which she desperately needs. Leon scowls at her for a few more seconds before turning and leaving, as Josie tries to compose herself.

[COLOR=red][i]"You try to play cool Like you just don't care But soon I'll be playin' in your underwear Givin' me all that I desire 'Cos down with me I'm taking you higher"[/i][/COLOR] "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Warren Miller version)" by Weezer hits and James Blonde swaggers through the entrance, a smug smile on his face. Backed up by Megan Skye, Blonde pulls down the hood on his unique, trendsetting entrance jacket and soaks up the thought of becoming the next United States Champion. Doing his best to ignore the boos and listen to the egotistical choice of music. BUFFER The following contest, set for one fall is for the OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP. Introducing first, the challenger. Accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE. Weighing two hundred, eight pounds and hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia... he is "THE TRENDSETTER" and represents CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL... JJJJJJAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEESSSSS... BBLLLLLOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" At ringside, Blonde slips off his poncho/jacket/whatever the hell it is. Underneath he wears a silver boa and silver wristtape to offset his gold wrestling shoes. Trends. Blonde does a Landon-esque spin into the ring and smiles gleefully. Seeking out the hard camera, he dedicates his win to Landon already. COLE James Blonde, finally getting a shot at the US Title, which has been in his sights for some time, dating back to Todd Cortez's title reign. Back then it seemed to be fueled by jealousy. And maybe it still is. But... uhm... I'm not sure what my point was, besides the jealousy part. COACH Get outta here with that talk. James Blonde is jealous of no man. He is his [i]own[/i] man! A Trendsetter! The Greatest Man That Ever Lived... except Landon Maddix. COLE I'm pretty sure that's who the music is referencing. I don't think Blonde does anything without it being about Landon. So, safe assumption. [COLOR=blue][b]"TURN THE LIGHTS ON!"[/b][/COLOR] While Beyonce’s dreamy "Sweet Dreams" rolls across the arena, red and pink spotlights rove through the graveyard. Around these illuminations rest a red heart shaped bed with sparkling sheets. On top of this lies Alix Maria Spezia attired in the same outfit as the picture and holding those same frisbees. She sensually massages herself against the sheets, before spinning to a seating position. There she blows a kiss at the screen and super imposed red lips appear on screen. [COLOR=blue][i]"You can be a sweet dream Or a beautiful nightmare Either way I don't wanna wake up from you (Turn the lights on)"[/i][/COLOR] BUFFER And his opponent! From Los Angeles, California! She is your brand-new United States Heavyweight Champion... one half of Chicks Over Dicks and the host of OAOAST's hit weekly show, Syndicated... ladies and gentlemen, the champion, AAALLLLLIIIIXXXXXXX... MMMMAAAARRRRRIIIIIIAAAAAAA... SSSSSPPEEEEEZZZZZZIIIIIAAAAAAA!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Alix skips down the aisle, with the United States Title hanging around her waist. Or hanging off her waist. Either or. She's slim, see. Flinging out frisbees, she's in jovial mood as always. COLE Alix, flying the flag for Chicks Over Dicks in the absence of Krista who went down with that broken arm this past Sunday. A mixed night for Alix, coming away with singles gold but seeing her girlfriend suffer that injury and lose the World Title. COACH She sure seemed cut up about it at the time, didn't she? COLE Well I don't think Alix knew Krista had a broken arm at the time, Coach. She may claim repeatedly to have x-ray vision, but I am somewhat sceptical. Alix jogs up the ring steps and climbs the ropes, shooting the peace sign and the "smoke weed" sign, which kinda cancel each other out in the role-model stakes. Jumping into the ring, Alix removes her silver boa, looking curiously at Blonde. The Trendsetter looks down at his neck and starts to go red. ALIX Oh wow. If you're wearing lacy blue panties too, this is gonna get kinda embarrassing. For many reasons. Pitching a fit, Blonde takes off his silver boa and STOMPS it into the ground. Alix just stares blankly. COLE What was that about? COACH Well, that's proof that silver boas aren't cool anymore. The Trendsetter has shunned it. Therefore, uncool. COLE Why is it uncool all of a sudden? Because James realised he was dressed like a girl? COACH Fashions change in the blink of an eye. You've gotta be on top of it. Like JB. You wouldn't understand. *DINGDINGDING* As the bell rings Blonde tries to put aside his little fit and goes to lock-up. Still not unwrapped yet, Alix quickly takes off her silver boa and wraps it around Blonde's neck as he moves in! Blonde starts thrashing around trying to get the boa off and ends up rolling to the floor, where he pitches another fit. COLE Now, why is Blonde so horrified to be made to wear THE EXACT SAME THING HE WORE TO THE RING!? COACH That was a girl's boa. Big difference. And besides that, did you forget our little "fashion change" talk already? COLE Sadly, no. But I'm trying. Megan calms Blonde down and he re-enters the ring. Trying establish some male dominance, he walks up to Alix and shoves her. A smug look on his face, Blonde watches, as Alix falls to the mat and starts crying. And suddenly, he doesn't feel so smug. The ref gets on Blonde's case for being a jerk and he protests that he didn't do anything, then trying to convince the fans (and himself) that she's faking. Alix, however, stays down. The boos keep coming though and feeling guilty, Blonde is forced to apologise and help Alix back up. And at that point, Alix headbutts him in the gut. "YYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!" Alix skips around clapping her hands, DELIGHTED at her merry little plan. She then hits the ropes, with Blonde doubled up. The Canadian ducks his head low, only to get caught with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Fist balled, Blonde runs right into an armdrag. And another one. He's smart enough to avoid the third one, but not smart enough to avoid wasting time letting the crowd know how smart he is, so Alix pitches him out of the ring. COLE HAHAHA! Alix does a funky strut as Blonde picks himself up, deeply embarrassed. COACH To think, Krista gets injured, I'm happy, everyone's happy... and then we remember Alix is still here humbling people. And it's even worse when she does it, because you're getting humbled by a half-wit! Climbing back to the apron, Blonde manages to lure Alix in and catch her with a shoulder through the ring ropes. Blonde launches himself back inside, looking for a sunset flip. Alix rolls right through to her feet though and blasts Blonde in the face with a BUTT smash. Shaken, Blonde is then crushed with a rolling senton and pinned down... 1... 2... No! Grabbing a front facelock Alix tries to keep control of her challenger. Blonde breaks free with some shots to Alix's slender midsection and backs her off the ropes. The Trendsetter ducks his head for a backdrop, but Alix baseball slides through the legs, trips Blonde up onto his face and breaks into a Beyonce dance next to him while he nurses his nose. COLE A little dance for all the single ladies! COACH Da Coach is down with that. He likes all the single ladies. COLE All the single ladies? COACH ALL the singles ladies! COLE If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it. If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it. COACH Oh, oh, oh, oh. Alix skips to the ropes, leaping over Blonde as he attempts to provide a block in the road. As she approaches the far ropes Alix jumps to the middle rope, twisting backwards with a crossbody block... 1... 2... Blonde turns over on top, GRABBING ALIX'S BOOTY SHORTS! COLE HEY! 1... 2... NO! COLE Blonde trying to steal one! Both quickly to their feet, Blonde trips Alix's legs and holds his opponent in a very vulnerable position, suddenly with something to smile about. He teases a kick, but teases for too long and Alix kicks him away. Rolling back to her feet Alix ducks a wild swing from Blonde and catches him with an inverted atomic drop. She trips him up, teasing the same kick, to which Blonde freaks. The referee warns Alix not to do what she's thinking of doing. So she doesn't, floating over with a jacknife pin instead... 1... 2... No! COLE James Blonde, really struggling to get to grips with Alix here. Not the first and won't be the last, I'm sure. Alix whips Blonde into a corner, following up with a clothesline. She then climbs the turnbuckles, looking for the crowd to join her counting game. ONE! TWO! THREE! .... FOUR! ... FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! ELEVEN! .... ..... TWELVE! THIRTEEN! FOU... ...no, wait, wait... FOU... ...nope, hold on... FOURTEEN! COLE I... don't think Alix quite gets the game. Quite pleased with herself nonetheless, Alix whips Blonde out again. However, Blonde hangs on and reverses. Alix approaches the corner in control and leaps to the middle rope, only to lose her footing for a second. And before she can recover, Blonde rushes forward and bundles Alix over the top rope to the ring apron. COLE A slight slip from Alix, an uncharacteristic slip, has given Blonde a window into this match. As Alix picks herself up on the apron, Blonde rushes past her, springing to the middle rope and launching a dropkick. Alix is caught in the face and crashes to the floor to worried groans. Not from Blonde though, who takes a bow. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Now why is it that posing and showboating is BOOO worthy when JB does it, but Alix starts dancing and skipping and it's the greatest thing ever? COLE Because people like Alix? Laid out in a heap on the arena floor, things suddenly look dire for the new United States Champion. A groggy look is on Alix's face as she sits up, hand pressed to her back. Blonde takes the referee, allowing Megan to get involved. If she wanted to. Which she doesn't. So Blonde is forced to go get Alix himself, throwing the US Champ back inside the ring. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Despite Landon being nowhere in sight, the chants have an effect as Blonde starts flipping his shit. COLE Emotional attachments are a weird thing sometimes. Blonde takes his anger out on Alix, giving her a snap suplex and pinning her down... 1... 2... No! Blonde slaps on a chinlock, giving him the chance to list reasons to the crowd why they're wrong about Landon. "LET'S GO ALIX!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "LET'S GO ALIX!" *clap clap clapclapclap* Alix sits in the chinlock for a while, before suddenly saying "ooh, that's me!" and realising she should be getting back up. She fights back to her feet and fires elbows, trying to break Blonde's hold, eventually doing so. But as she hits the ropes, Blonde recovers and flips her over with a knee to the breadbasket. The fans boo again, never happy to see Alix hurt. Blonde delivers a double stomp to the ribs and covers... 1... 2... No! COLE James Blonde has wanted to hold this US Championship for some time, mainly it seems to impress Landon Maddix. And tonight he's getting his chance to impress his mentor, the chance he never got while Todd Cortez was champion. A scoop and a slam sets Alix, Blonde going to the middle rope. He preens at his hair as he prepares to come off, delivering the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop... BUT ALIX GETS HER FEET UP!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE But that will not have impressed anyone, except maybe Blonde's dentist! The fans rally behind Alix and both she and Blonde try to get back up. The referee reaches a count of five on them both before Blonde pulls himself up via the ropes. Nursing his jaw, he waits for Alix to get up and throws a right hand. But it's blocked and Alix fires back with a punch! Blonde tries again, but is blocked and punched again! A block, and a punch! COLE Alix is firing on all cylinders! Blonde is shot off the ropes and sent over with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! COACH Woah! C'mon James, get it together. COLE That'll be easier said than done, because the Alix Express is ROLLING~! Feeling good Alix raises the roof, imaginary backdrops for all. Blonde picks himself up in a corner and finds himself engulfed, a big flying avalanche from the fur-covered champion. So fun it was, that Alix decides to fly in again with a second avalanche and a loud "WHEEE!!" in mid-air. COLE Alix, big smile on her face, flying right towards you. But wake up James Blonde, this isn't a dream. Blonde staggers out of the corner and right into a Superkick! Cover by Alix... 1... 2... NO! Blonde tries to roll out of the ring but only makes it as far as the apron, before Alix reaches through the ropes and grabs hold of the hair. Blonde thrashes about, hanging by his hair. He's eventually dragged back to his feet and struck in the face. Alix then runs him down the apron, face-first into the outside turnbuckle. With Blonde dazed, Alix pulls him through the middle rope, then leaves him hanging... literally. From the middle rope, Alix soars with a legdrop, chopping Blonde down and the rest of the way into the ring. COLE That could do it right there! Rolling on top, Alix throws up a peace sign as the count is made... 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Alix looks confused as to why the counting has stopped, unaware of Megan's assist placing Blonde's foot on the ropes. COLE So much for Megan not getting involved. COACH Megan plays by her own rules. She's an independant woman. COLE When do you think someone will clue Landon into that fact? Arms folded, Megan does a good job of convincing the referee of complete dis-interest in the match. Which may or may not be acting. Alix pulls Blonde back to his feet, to his squeals of "not the hair". After a couple of slaps across the face, Alix turns and runs off the ropes. A quick recovery from Blonde surprises Alix, but she avoids his leapfrog, tucking and rolling through the legs. As Blonde turns around, Alix attempts to scoop him up. Apparantly over-estimating her own strength. Blonde slips out the over-arching back, hooking Alix's head and delivering a Reverse DDT! COLE The Fashion Statement! Alix got caught! Blonde reaches up and hooks Alix's leg, stacking her up... 1... 2... NO! "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" Brushing back his abused hair, Blonde balls up his fist, ready to strike. COACH Oh yeah. Show 'em what a man does, JB! Blonde measures Alix with the biggest right hand of his life. Unfortunately, Alix ducks it. Striking at the chest Alix chops and slaps away, forcing Blonde back into a corner covering up as best he can. After threatening the referee with the same, insisting she's a "honey on the edge", Alix grabs Blonde, snapmaring him out of the corner. Alix quickly jumps to the middle rope, ready to follow up with a high flying move. Blonde is up though and grabs hold of Alix, hurling her backwards. Luckily, Alix is agile enough to backflip, landing safely on her feet. She poses for style points, then dives forward with another avalanche... but Blonde sidesteps!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Nobody home! And Alix might have driven the wind out of herself. COACH Good. No wind, no talking, no dancing... no title. With Alix winded Blonde's eyes light up. He gives the signal, reeling Alix in and slapping on the cobra clutch. COACH HERE WE GO! Blonde has Alix all set up, but to everyone's confusion, he stops and just lets Alix go. COACH (wailing) ...what are you doing!? Wagging his finger, it's clear Blonde knows what he's doing. He appears to be the only one, as even Megan gets on his case. Blonde insists everything's under control though, as he takes Alix up into a fireman's carry. COACH He's going to win the title with Landon's move, Michael! What an honour! COLE Are you kidding me? Blonde walks Alix into the middle of the ring... but as he goes to throw her up in the air, Alix isn't there anymore. Escaping down the back, she slaps Blonde across the BUTT! Blonde wheels around with an elbow, but Alix ducks. And with Blonde off balance, she springs up and blasts him with KIDOLOGY!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE THERE'S YOUR SHOUTOUT! COACH Nooooo! Alix makes the cover, as Megan looks on disbelievingly, hands on hips... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Rock beats scissors, Krista beats Landon, Alix beats Blonde! COACH Damn you and poetic your logic! Alix skips around in victory, presented with her US Title again. Megan just stares, shaking her head at the idiocy of the KOed Blonde. BUFFER Your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPION... ALIX MMAAARRIIIIAAA... SSSPPEEEEZZZIIIIAAAAAAAAA!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Performance over, Alix takes a bow and blows kisses to the fans as she leaves. COLE Just another day at the office for Alix! COACH I doubt she even knows where she is, to be quite honest. COLE An impressive first title defence for Alix. Are we seeing the beginnings of a Chicks Over Dicks reign of terror? Sitting up in the ring, Blonde looks mortified at having lost and buries his head in his hands.

COLE Right now, let's send it back to Josh Matthews with some special guests. At the interview backdrop, it's a crowded scene. Matthews is stood in the middle, literally surrounded. Either side of him are Queen Esther, sat in her royal throne, and Landon Maddix with his SWF ICTV disguised as an OAOAST 6-Man Title over the shoulder of his red Cucaracha Internacional tracksuit top. Yes, they have tracksuits now. Even though only Landon is wearing is. Next to those two, off to either side, are their four respective stable members. MATTHEWS I'm standing by right now with two of the OAOAST biggest forces. To my left, Cucaracha Internacional and to my right, All The Queen's Men. And, first of all, I'm wondering why you wanted this time split between you? LANDON Well, that's really very simple. The past couple of weeks, you might have noticed that myself and the fair Queen here have entered into a little 'working agreement' and I just wanted to take this time to publicly thank the Queen for her graciousness... Landon reaches across, with a very staged handshake with Queen Esther, who fans herself in "surprise" and "humility". LANDON ...I know I've said many times that Cucaracha Internacional are the strongest unit in the OAOAST. And, it's still true. But, if there had to be a close second, it would be the Queen and her men. QUEEN ESTHER Why, thank you! Oh, what great fortune, to find a gentleman such as my Spanish-American friend here in this world. A man both of great honour and great integrity. MATTHEWS .....you mean Landon? LANDON Of course she means me! Now, with that out of the way, let's talk business. I wasn't in Iowa last week for the Halloween Spectacular. For many reasons. Not least, because it was in Iowa. BUT, I did keep my eye on the show from afar, on Pay Per View. And after watching what happened, I began to think that maybe this little business arrangement might have to become a permanent one. Because it's obvious, we're the only people in this entire company with any class whatsoever. Nods all around from everybody, except Faqu, who's grunting noises couldn't really be described as 'classy'. LANDON Don't even get me started on that costume contest. Total objectification of women, including Queen Esther. I was appalled. MEGAN So appalled, he had to take his laptop into the bathroom for fifteen minutes. ...... LANDON To vomit, yes. ...... QUEEN ESTHER As correct as you are noble, you most certainly are. Why, I may have to contemplate disposing of ALL footage from that awful show. All Hallow's Eve does just the worst of things to the most ordinary of people. It is quite terrible. But the most unedifying scene of them all was the indignation, suffered by my Hellfire Club. To be subjected to the unrequested nudity of another. OH! I'm all of a quiver just thinking about it. LANDON Me too. Quivering with [i]rage[/i]. Landon glares over at Megan, clarifying himself before she can make another wisecrack. LANDON It's pretty obvious these Nerdlys have got no shame. All week, I've been hit by what basically amounts to spamming... I think that's the term... by Melody Nerdly. E-mails. Texts. Facebook. Twitter. I don't have [i]any[/i] of them. But she does. And she's using them to try and start some 'campaign for justice', claiming that we didn't give Baron, Cash and her brothers a fair shot at our OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Titles. A 'campaign for justice'. Seriously. Little does this fresh-ai deprived geek seem to realise, I'm constantly scouting. Watching footage. Tracking stats. These 8-Man Titles are prestigious. And the reason they're prestigious is because Cucaracha Internacional are holding them. We issued an open challenge months ago, to any team who thought they could beat us. But that was just to get the ball rolling. Get the interest peaking. That window is slammed shut now. If Baron and his buddies want another shot at the strongest unit in the OAOAST, they're going to have to earn it. If they do, we'll be more than happy to give them a shot. Until then, step away from the computer, step outside your front door and step into the real world, Melody. With a finger, Landon beckons an excited James Blonde out of the group. LANDON As far as tonight goes, we're going to concentrate on more important things. Like bringing the US Title back into our Internacional camp. James, tell them about it. Eager, Blonde commandeers the microphone. BLONDE Alix Maria Spezia, you picked the wrong time to become the US Champion! Because Landon's done the deal, Landon's worked his magic, Landon's got me a shot at you tonight! I've been waiting for this opportunity for a year now. The opportunity to show Landon that I can follow in his footsteps! That maybe one day, maybe somewhere some time, I can be just as half as good as he is! And be a singles champion! Landon believes in me and he's given me all the confidence in the world! You're riding high right now and you're a big name in the OAOAST! But there's a bigger name in the OAOAST now! And his name is Landon Maddix! And his right hand man, me, the second in command, is going to take your US Title, tonight! Blonde pats Landon on the back and gives him a thumbs up, positively bursting with joy as we go back to the arena. COLE What a lovefest that was. Sheesh.

US Title, Alix vs. James Blonde. Other stuff.

Where-as, I'm a little behind on the World Title match. No good excuses. Just some killer writer's block. I've had a couple of good bursts, but that's about it (that's what she said). Probably be tommorrow now, since it's getting late here. There will never be another Leon/Krista match. EVER.

Brought to you by American Express Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan Host: Alix Maria Spezia Theme song: A Halloweeny theme for an almost Halloweeny show, the last show before the 2009 Halloween Spectacular. Alix Maria Spezia, hostess, was dressed as Al, from TV's hit situation comedy program "Tool Time". She introduced her "Halloween elves", who were Maya and Jade. Of course, they protested that elves were a Christmas thing and that they looked lame, but both arguements fell on deaf ears. Alix began to introduce tonight's horror movie, at which point she was reminded she wasn't Elvira, this wasn't Movie Macabre, this was Syndicated, there were no movies only wrestling matches and she was infact dressed as a fat fake TV carpenter. At this point and this point only did Alix realise she must have picked up the wrong costume at the costume shop, despite having introduced herself as Al from Tool Time earlier. Crack is a hell of a drug. ***Spencer Reiger -VS- Baron Windels*** With all outside parties banned from ringside, this was one on one, fair and even. So you'd think Spencer and Baron's tentative start to the match was interrupted by the arrival of Landon Maddix to join the commentary team. Baron's distraction allowed Spencer to attack from behind and take over on the big Texan. Landon insisted he was there to scout Baron and see if he and his team deserved the second shot at the 8-Man Tag Team Titles they'd been petitioning for (and by petitioning, that apparantly meant an online Myspace campaign by Melody), "despite losing the first one fair and square". Landon wouldn't get off that easy though. And he was forced to explain why he made Citizen Soldiers and The Christ Air Express wait so long, only to then set up an ambush. All the while Spencer and Baron fought on, with The One Man Triple Threat slowly picking apart his larger opponent's neck. Baron stuck in the match and with the crowd rallying behind him, he fought back. Big Texas rights rocked Spencer and he was pinballed around the ring by Baron's high-impact and above-all Texan offense. Heading to the top, Baron looking for the flying lariat. Spencer ran underneath out of the way, only for Baron to land on his feet and surprise everyone with a standing dropkick. Spencer bailed out, trying a cat and mouse tactic on Baron. Which worked, tricking Baron into sliding into the ring, before him, then delivering a running enziguri from the apron. Landon went into a long explanation of Baron's lack of intelligence and therefore lack of leadership qualities, unlike him. Which would have been a better arguement if, in the middle of it, Baron hadn't backdropped his way out of Reiger's Reiger Counter and delivered a big diving lariat, before polishing Spencer off with the Brigham Young Cocktail DDT to score the win! Winner: Baron Windels, via pinfall. Poor Landon was left uhmming and ahhing, as he was pestered about Baron surely now having earned a rematch. Before he could be forced to answer, he left the desk, clearly in a fluster. ***Christian Wright W/Lorelei DeCenzo -VS- Jumbo*** Match two of Christian Wright’s winning streak promise provided a hefty challenge in the big man from Chi Town. Being a smart man, Wright wisely avoided Jumbo early on. But this cat and mouse game caught up with him when Jumbo trapped him inside the corner. The big man took control of the contest, using his blubber to pound CW down. A close count was made after a second rope body splash from Jumbo. CW was able wrest the advantage away from his super sized foe with a low blow. After that Wright worked on the big man’s legs, chopping him down to size. Jumbo tried to make an inspired come back, but fell short after being struck with the Wright Off. CW hooked the legs and won his second match in a row. Winner: Christian Wright, via pinfall, 2 win winning streak. Post match Wright conducted his new spiel “From this calendar day forward, as long as the sun may set, and the moon shall shine, I, Christian Wright, will concede neither pinfall nor submission to any man! Los Diablos hosted an All-Male costume contest with some of the OAOAST Performers, who scandalously steal a paycheck by never wrestling but yet show up to dress in funny looking outfits! Damn these leeches! First up in the costume contest was Deuce Bigelow dressed as Maurice Gibb from the Bee Gees. DB showed an exquiste understanding of subtle hypnotism provided by a man shaking his jelly rolls of fat while wearing over a thousand sequins. Envy those who saw it live. Uno paid homage to the old school OAOAST by dressing as Angle-Plex. Sure enough Angle-Plex’s buffoonery extended to costumes as when Uno went to the top rope he slipped and stumbled to the outside. The curse of Angle-Plex lives even through spandex! Baron Windells and Tim Cash pleased both luchadores with their chippendales stripper outfits. Showing that they don't discriminate, Mariachi and Moracca hooted over Quentin Benjamin's topless gladiator outfit. James Blonde came dressed as Landon Maddix. Poor James Blonde, poor simple James Blonde, when will his homoerotic fanaticism find proper boundaries? Los Diablos seemed to like it, finding it “very sexy!”, and Blonde ran backstage to tell Landon that two weirdos in pink batman outfits find a costumed version of him attractive. As JB left the scene, Melissa appeared on it. She said the men were making a mockery of costume contests, and the girls would give everyone a show at the HS with the first ever OAOAST Hottie costume contest. She said all the girl’s costumes would be better than the men’s, and that her’s would be the best of all! Let's just hope I feel like writing it! THE HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR 2009: NO SOULS DAY~! OAOAST WORLD TITLE: Krista Isadora Duncan © vs. Leon Rodez GRUDGE MATCH: Reject vs. The Teal Tiger (If Reject wins, the Tiger must unmask. If it is revealed to be Alfdogg, then he will be banned from all OAOAST-related functions for life. If the Tiger wins, then Alfdogg will be reinstated to full capacity as a wrestler.) STEEL CAGE MATCH: The Heavenly Rockers vs. D*LUX OAOAST WOMEN'S TITLE: Morgan Nerdly © vs. Holly OAOAST UNITED STATES TITLE: Thunderkid © vs. Alix Maria Spezia TAG TEAM GRUDGE MATCH: Orange County Cobras vs. Mardi Gras Hellfire Club A recap of HeldDOWN from two weeks ago played ahead of the main event. Great. Alix was assigned voice-over duty to try and explain what was happening. Not so great. "Uhm, well, see Leon was attacking Alix... wait, that's me, gee, that's no good... so Krista came down, then I think The Heavenly Rockers came out, but then Holly went after Morgan... I don't know, it was a couple of weeks ago and it's all so very confusing. Can't we all just get along? You know, except Abdullah. " Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Intergender 8-Person Tag Team Match ***D*LUX, Leon Rodez and Morgan Nerdly -VS- Krista Isadora Duncan, The Heavenly Rockers and Holly w/Abdullah Abir Nerdly*** To do a slightly better job explaining, Leon and Morgan had beaten down Los Diablos and Alix. Krista came out to save her girlfriend and went after Leon. The Heavenly Rockers rushed out, but instead of going after Krista, they surrounded Morgan, ready for Holly to attack. D*LUX came out to get their hands on The Heavenly Rockers. And someone made enough sense of this mess to sign this match between eight Halloween Spectacular opponents. The rules meant that Morgan and Holly could not be legally paired off with any of the guys, but gender loopholes didn't extend to Krista. Morgan and Holly, thus, started out against each other. After a staredown and plenty of threats, Leon called Morgan over and tagged himself in to actually start, which forced out Holly. Instead we got the number one contender and the World Champion, resuming hostilities. And what hostilities they are. Holding nothing back before Halloween Spectacular, Krista and Leon went at it with a vengeance. Krista almost hit Kidology less than two minutes into the match, but was countered into a Liontamer attempt, which Krista countered by kicking out. As things descended into a wild brawl, Leon and Krista ended up in the corner where Logan tagged in and went to work on Leon. Which Krista didn't seem pleased with. When Leon finally managed to fight off Logan, he found himself in the strange position of going to his corner and being offered a tag by both of D*LUX. A weird flashback. And he took seemingly forever to actually slap hands with Tyler. D*LUX combined for a while and got lost in the moment, offering Leon the chance to join in the teamwork like old times and getting snubbed. Logan would eventually cut off Shayne and from that point, The Heavenly Rockers cut "Showtime" off from his partners. The match essentially became The Heavenly Rockers versus D*LUX, with Leon and Krista not co-operating with their partners and Morgan and Holly unable to tag in against the guys anyway. Logan and Synth worked over Shayne. But as they looked to put him away with the Double Percussion DDT, Krista distracted her own partners from the outside, allowing Leon to come in and clock their heads together. Weird. Shayne made the tag to Tyler, who ran wild on the only rock n' wrestling band that matters until Krista came in. But she was of no threat to Tyler, bypassing him and tackling Leon to the floor. Holly proceeded to do the same to Morgan. The champions and number one contenders brawled on the outside, while Tyler and Shayne used their 'tag team specialism' on THR. After taking out Synth, they set Logan for the D*LUX Capacitor. However, Abdullah jumped to the apron. Tyler accosted him, but with Synth tying up the ref, Logan grabbed the holy book and clocked Shayne in the head!! Synth then kept Tyler at bay, as Logan pinned Shayne to pick up the victory. Winners: Krista Isadora Duncan, The Heavenly Rockers and Holly, via pinfall After the match, Krista climbed back in to celebrate the victory, only to blast both Logan and Synth with the KIDology! Just when it seemed Krista would stand tall however, Leon pounced, smashing Krista across the back of the head with the OAOAST World Title! With Holly helping Abdullah tend to THR, it was Morgan and Leon standing over the bodies, Morgan holding her Women's Title and Leon looking longingly at the OAOAST World Title in his hands.

No HD this week, but I've got a couple of loose ends that I didn't get around to last week. So, we're doing Syndicated proper. Patty, if you want me to put the show together this week, say the word. And send me your stuff. Or post it. Whatever. Among other things: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Intergender 8-Person Tag Team Match D*LUX, Leon Rodez and Morgan Nerdly vs. Krista Isadora Duncan, The Heavenly Rockers and Holly

OAOAST World Title Krista Isadora Duncan © vs. Leon Rodez

"I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord And I've been waiting for this moment For all my life, oh lord Oh lord." Nonpoint's version of "In The Air Tonight" brings out the OAOAST's V.I.C.E squad, CPA cracking his knuckles ready for action and Detective Bosley in his casuals. Reaching into their front pockets, CPA pulls out a cigar and Bosley a cigarette. They light up, take a puff of nicotine and look out at the world contently. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, being accompanied by his V.I.C.E partner, TANGO BOSLEY. Weighing two hundred, eighty pounds and hailing from Miami, Florida... CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN... C... P... A!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Smoking away without a care in the world, V.I.C.E saunter down to the ring. Taking up a corner, Bosley calls over a cameraman and goes into a long rant about his weekend, "curbstomping underage drunk punk bitch pussies outside the local YMCA"... and the camera cuts away mid-story to CPA posing in the ring. COLE There's a guy with some issues, right there. COACH Yeah, of Maxim magazine. Because he's a man. Take some notes or something. As CPA is forced to put out his cigar by the referee, with no fanfare or music enters Biff Atlas, taking the crowd a little by surprise. What with the no music thing and all. Biff walks out deep in thought, occassionally looking up and seeing where he is. BUFFER And his opponent! From Venice Beach, California and weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF... AAAAAATTLLLLLAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE A warm reaction for Biff Atlas, who's been going through some mental trials and tribulations as of late. COACH That's what happens when you've got a brain the size of a pea. COLE Well Biff's got a lot on his mind. COACH I bet that hurts, what with it being the size of a pea. COLE You just have endless material at your disposal, don't you? Biff climbs into the ring, a little absent-minded as he almost trips on the ropes. That causes Bosley to laugh like a madman and Biff looks around bewildered. *DINGDINGDING* Getting his head together Biff squares up to CPA in the middle of the ring. The bigman smiles down at Biff, who looks around a little, before attempting a bodyslam! COACH Gotta be kidding me. After two attempts Biff limps away holding his back and CPA just shakes his head. Biff psyches himself up and tries again, but again fails to lift CPA's feet even a centimetre off the mat. Biff wonders why his powers have deserted him and tries to focus his energy... or, something... while CPA looks outside to Bosley, confused. COACH I thought we'd already ruled out super strength? COLE I don't even know anymore. The fans encourage Biff to try again and perhaps it's people power running through Atlas. CPA just stands and motions to Biff, letting him have a free attempt. Biff rubs his hands together and deep in concentration, he moves in again. CPA just smiles, confident he won't be lifted... ...but Biff doesn't even try, instead rolling Allen over to the mat and pinning him down! COLE Oh wait a minute! 1... 2... CPA kicks out! COLE Biff's smarter than we thought! He almost shocked CPA right there! CPA gets back up and is clubbed across the chest with a forearm blow. A second. And a third. Realising he's getting nowhere fast Biff turns and runs the ropes, getting more momentum behind a running forearm smash to the chest. But CPA just absorbs it. COACH If he were really smart, he wouldn't make the big black man angry! In need of a Plan B, Biff goes for a scoop slam... and soon remembers why he gave up on that plan in the first place. Biff's back gives way and CPA levels him with a clothesline. COACH For anyone not paying attention, yes, Michael Cole did think for a second that Biff Atlas may have out-smarted someone. COLE I don't know what I was thinking. Biff crawls to the ropes, looking for a reprieve. But doesn't get one. CPA stands on the back of Biff's head and leans on the ropes to force all his weight down on the skull of his opponent. As the referee backs CPA away, Bosley walks over and berates Atlas a little, before doing the same to a fan who dares to heckle him. Slowly pulled back up, Biff is leant up against the ropes by CPA, who shows him how it's done with a lung-emptying forearm. Biff gasps for air and is rocked with a headbutt! BOSLEY YEAH! BUTT HIM! BUTT HIM TILL HE BLEEDS BIGMAN! PENETRATE THAT FLESH! COACH :huh: An irish whip sends Biff for the ride, but the hapless hero amazes everyone by ducking CPA's clothesline. He bounces back off the ropes and lands a clothesline of his own, putting CPA back a step. CPA growls back at Biff though, throwing his own clothesline... but Biff throws his forearms up to block and strikes CPA across the chest with another clothesline! Atlas then hits the ropes, looking for a third with CPA off balance. But the bigman is right back at it and fells Biff with a Big Boot to the jaw! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Just as Biff was building some momentum. Cover by Allen... 1... 2... NO! Bosley chews out the referee, but CPA doesn't look too disheartened and drags Biff up again. COACH Could be Domination time. With a gutwrench, CPA throws Biff up over his shoulder, looking for the Dominator. Biff slips free though, landing on his feet! CPA cusses under his breath, turning around and getting forearmed in the face. COLE I tell you one thing, this is as much heart and resiliance as we've seen out of Biff Atlas in a long time. The will to win is certainly there. COACH Yeah, but what about the capacity to win? Biff blasts CPA with two more forearms, then tries an irish whip. The two hundred eighty pounder is going nowhere though. A firm tug sends Biff into a corner instead. Biff manages to sidestep out of the way of an avalanche though and CPA runs himself into the turnbuckles. COLE Maybe, Coach. Eyes lighting up, Biff sees an opportunity. He comes off the ropes with a big running high knee and CPA is staggered backwards, right back towards the ropes. Biff looks around, amazed. And he gives the signal for the big slam! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COACH He's mad, Cole. MAD! As Allen staggers away from the ropes Biff sets himself and with all his might, he stoops down and scoops CPA up... about two inches off the mat, before his back gives way. A disappointed sigh fills the arena. CPA clubs Biff across the back to break free of his grip, then hits the ropes. Fist clenched, he looks for the GIGATON PUNCH... ...but Biff drops to his knees, covers up for dear life and ends up clipping CPA's knee. COLE I don't know if that was intentional, but it worked! Emerging from his hiding place Biff sees CPA limping and gets another boost of confidence. Grabbing CPA, he whips him to the ropes and ducks his head for a back bodydrop. CPA sees it coming way too early though. Putting on the brakes, CPA keeps Biff's body pressed down and delivers a headbutt, directly to the spine. Again the crowd sigh, all hope for Biff disappearing. And all hope is then destroyed, as CPA scoops Biff up and plants him with the DOMINATOR!! COLE That quickly, Domination is dealt! 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN... C P A!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CPA rests his fist on Biff's chest, glaring out into the crowd as Bosley rolls in and hands him a victory cigar.

CPA vs. Biff Atlas I'll try to have more, but I've been busy re-decorating all week.

Even better show now...