Rawknight

I know you're not an idiot, i was just no selling you giving me shit *grins*

It's an insult to a Maori used by the colonists turned on it's head, kinda of like "Nigga" is to sections of the African American community. The biggest Maori gang in New Zealand is the Mongrel Mob and is something like a cross between the Crypts and the Hell's Angels. So now you know.

I posted the template ASAP (and the tactic worked! TONS of replies!) Card alterations after the template post are theerefore inedible. No wait... Inscrutable. No.. Inevitable. That's it

Aecas = definate bump fodder. Me = last post on all three boards! oh.. Bowers, Aecas, Maddix, Demon!

My avatar was made by me, by using rock's palette on austin and drawing bits on And i'd like to add that no matter how much Sacred and Thoth try to make themselves look scary with lighting and poses... Thor is still the scariest man in the SWF/SJL system

I'd just like to say... BOO-YAH!

Tom said his pic base would be Lash LeRoux. I know Judge is LaFours SWF Gensis for GameCube SWF Storm for X-Box And to be on the SWF Battleground box.. i'd need to know what pic base you'd use! EDIT: Judge gave me a pic that better fits his idea or his dude

BOO-YAH! *comments end* Seriously, i'll do more deatlied ones when i've read a bit more of the show

More like THIS Mark?

Hardcore-Gamers Championship Hardcore Match WildChild © v. Quiz Singles Match Va'aiga v. Nathaniel "Silent" Kibagami Tag Team Match The Boston Strangler and Xstasy v. Erek Taylor and Andrew "The Sacred One" Blackwell Tag Team Match The Bemani Cross Wizards (Thoth and Ced Ordonez) v. Justice and Rule (Judge William Hearford III & Ejiro Fasaki) Main Event The SWF World Heavyweight Championship Singles Match "The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v. Dace Night

yeah but a good soft focus blurring effect takes years off ya OK let me throw it open to people more "urban" and "street" than me. Someone young and cut from ANYWHERE with tied back dreads

Cut but not overly ripped, tied back dreads... Busta? I can always fuck with the skin colour etc, hide the tats behind other guys.

and who'd have thought that Southern Fried Chicken was good for your wrestling

October 9th. 5am. A door creaks open and into the blackness of a small apartment steps a large shadow. The low click of a light switch, the low hum of a refrigerator and a muttered expletive are the only sounds as the room is flooded with bright light. Now lit up, standing in the doorway, wincing at the light is the massive form of Va’aiga. The Maori groans and stretches, cracking his neck and wincing at the pain. Taking a seat on his own couch, Va’aiga casually flicks on the television and scans aimlessly through a few channels, grunting in disapproval at his inability to find anything worth watching before flicking it off again. Stretching again Va’aiga leans backwards and winces a second time, reaching an arm behind him and trying in vain to work free a knot in his own shoulder muscle, to little effect. Va’aiga lays back across the couch, flicking a magazine out of the way of where his head is going to lay. Staring aimlessly at the ceiling the massively built Maori takes a couple of deep breaths and folds his arms behind his head, grunting again and fiddling to try to find a position that doesn’t hurt. The Maori rolls onto his side facing the television and presses hard onto his controller again, sending the screen flashing into life. Reaching for the controller for his video, Va’aiga rewinds the tape that’s in the machine to the start and presses play. Bobby Riley : Welcome to SWF Lockdown!. Fans, we’ve got an exciting show coming up tonight, right up until our main event. We can only hope that Erek Taylor decides to interject himself, rather than make us watch Tom Flesher defend the SWF World Title against the Boston Strangler unimpeded. Va’aiga grunts again and shrugs his shoulders, suppressing a little noise of pain. The Maori spins on… Bobby Riley: Christ could Wildchild get any more miserable? When you’re renaming moves so they reflect your tortured soul… Cyclone Comet: Shut up! Cover! Va’aiga sighs and spins on… Cyclone Comet: CITIZEN CED DUCKS! John Duran just took out his teammate! What do you have to say for their lack of experience now, Bobbo? Bobby Riley: …I have nothing to say Va’aiga arches an eyebrow and spins on again… Cyclone Comet: That was a big mistake for Xstasy, and it looks like the Wonder kid is capitalizing. The Boston Strangler: Erek can definitely wear him down out here, especially with the momentum on his side! Va’aiga spins on again… Cyclone Comet: AND VA’AIGA WINS! Va’aiga wins with Bastion’s brother’s move! And wouldn’t Thugg, lying in his hospital bed right now LOVE to be the one doing that to the psychotic Bastion? Va’aiga focuses on the screen as the shot turns to show what the Maori Badass is watching Va’aiga lays spark out on the canvas, shattered from the effort, clutching his back. Meanwhile BASTION, blood pouring from his back and face slowly stands, STILL not looking like he can be taken down for more than a few precious seconds, and walks over to the fallen Maori Badass. Bobby Riley: Va’aiga may have won the battle, but I don’t thing Bastion is done with the Maori Badass… Bastion picks Va’aiga up and the crowd’s wild cheers turns to boos as Bastion lifts Va’aiga up and hoists him up for a MASSIVE powerbomb! Bastion holds on and hoists Va’aiga up again, and AGAIN slams him down with a huge crash on the mat. His face a blank picture lacking any emotion, the sociopathic Bastion hoists Va’aiga up for a third consecutive powerbomb, this time casually dropping the Maori out with a BIG release on the bomb. Bastion steps over the ring ropes and to a massive round of boos strides up the entrance ramp. Bobby Riley: THE THIRD OFFENSE! Bastion may have lost to Va’aiga, but he’s STILL made a statement. And that statement is... Don’t mess with Bastion, because you’re gonna get hurt! Folks we’ve got to take a commercial break, and while the EMTs tend to Va’aiga some people will try to sell you stuff. …back in the apartment Va’aiga sighs, rewinds and watches the post match attack by Bastion again. Growling occasionally at the pain in his back, the Maori Badass watches carefully, trying to work out what he did wrong, or maybe just grimly focusing on the attack, memorising what happened for some unknown purpose. The tone of Va’aiga’s phone interrupts the Maori Badass’ studies. Va’aiga slides down the volume on the TV set and listens out for the message, not really wanting to move from his stationary position. Va’aiga: Yo, you’re through to the Maori. Leave a message and I’ll get back to ya. The answer phone Beeps. HVille Thugg: Yo, Va’aiga. It’s the Thugg here, bro. Saw the match, and I know I didn’t think ya could do it, but you beat my brother. Respect for that, blood. The answer phone’s tape clicks off. Va’aiga smiles briefly and flicks off the TV, lays back on the couch and closes his eyes. October 9th. 1:30pm. Grand Slam Mark Stevens walks into his office, remains of a low fat tuna sandwich in one hand. Looking round the accolade laden office at the SWF headquarters, Stevens notices the light on HIS answer phone is flicking on and off. The Heavy Hitter flicks the button and listens. Stevens Answer Phone: You have TWO Messages. Message One. Va’aiga: OK Grand Slam. You saw what happened. I took the hits, I got the fall, and I got the respect, what little there is of it for beating the big guy. Now I’m left tidying up for you again. I’m gonna give Silent the beating of his god damn life, but I told you, I ain’t nobody’s errand boy, even if that errand IS making some biyatch hurt. You owe me, man. Stevens Answer Phone: Message Two. Va’aiga: BOO-YAH!

Hardcore-Gamers Championship Hardcore Match WildChild © v. Quiz - Survey says... Wildchild don't lose many of these. Singles Match Va'aiga v. Nathaniel "Silent" Kibagami Piss off Grand Slam. Get the Maori. No prediction. Tag Team Match The Boston Strangler and Xstasy v. Erek Taylor and Andrew "The Sacred One" Blackwell Strangler and X in this "Hell lets throw lots of people with not much else to do in a tag match" Match Tag Team Match The Bemani Cross Wizards (Thoth and Ced Ordonez) v. Justice and Rule (Judge William Hearford III & Ejiro Fasaki) The Team that's only lost one straight tag ever (I believe) Main Event The SWF World Heavyweight Championship Singles Match "The Superior One" Tom Flesher © v. Dace Night As much as i'd like to back Dace, and as much as Dace canshock anyone... it's Flesher. Close though.

Bodybag Match English Dragon v. Crow ? Match Wildchild v. ? Non-title Tag Match The Bemani Cross Wizards (Thoth and Ced Ordonez) v. Sin-Quizition (Quiz and John Duran) Singles Match Erek Taylor v. Xstasy Hardcore Match Bastion v. Va'aiga ICTV Singles Match "The Franchise" Mak Francis v. "The Sacred One" Andrew Blackwell Elimination Triple Threat for the #1 Contendership to the World Title! Dace Night v. Michael Craven v. Nathaniel Kibagami World Title Singles Match The Boston Strangler v. "The Superior One" Tom Flesher

Oh and apparently there's Va'aiga vs Bastion on Lockdown too!

*Stingers Janus thorugh HIS Fued with Crow*

*notes own characters name does not appear ONCE in final show, despite being nominated for a couple of awards* *Kills everyone*

::oK I know why my match lost. I'm not even anywhere CLOSE to asking for marking notes on my loss. Ejiro's just fucking ruled, was a TON longer than mine and had a far, FAR better and more equivocal finish. I do however consider I'd be doing the world a idsservice if the live rendition of the Ejiro song and the special guest stars are omitted form your lives. I also want comments.:: The arena drops to pure blackness, lit only by the occasional flash bulb firing, and the crowd noise drops to a low hush. Riley: Who killed the lights? Comet: Well this could be a super heroic entrance. Or something like that. There is a low murmur across the near hushed crowd as the lights stay down for a good 20 seconds before a single sound echoes through the arena. TAKATU! The darkness is pierced by a luminous pattern, the circles and swirls that form the traditional te Moko tattoo patterns of the Maori peoples. The complex tribal patterns cover the spaces of a human face and arms, and the sound emanates from them again. TAKATU! PAE! From the darkness more patterns appear. Each individual and personal, each a proud statement of the tribal roots of the bearers. The luminous designs draw a round of awed “oohs” from the gaping masses. RAERE…. MANA! And the lights around the arena go up to reveal Va’aiga standing proud in the middle of the ring, sleeveless hooded top showing off all his tattoos, covered in a thin layer of fluorescent paint. Flanking Va’aiga are a team of 12 other Maori, all dressed in traditional tribal gear, painted up as the warriors they are. Va’aiga steps forward and readys himself and with a nod, the Maoris move, led by the Maori Badass in front… KA MATE, KA MATE! KA ORA, KA ORA! KA MATE, KA MATE! KA ORA, KA ORA! TENEI TE TANGATA PUHURUHURU NANA I TIKI MAI WHAKAWHITI TE RA A HUPANE! A HUPANE! A HUPANE KAUPANE WHITI TE RA! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Comet: The Haka Te Ra! The Traditional Maori Wardance. What a way to open up this, the fourth year of SWF Genesis. With a final leap into the air the Maoris scream out the last call of the Haka, The Maori contingent falls silent and begins to slowly file out as an easily recognisable bassline fires up. The crowd goes ballistic as Va’aiga points to the entrance ramp, and through the great pillars steps METHOD MAN! Method Man: Wazzzzzzup New York! The bassline booms through the arena as the Mizza walks slowly down to ringside, rapping along to the beat of his own god damn tune…. Method Man: I came to bring the pain hardcore from the brain Let's go inside my astral plane Find out my mental's based on instrumental records hey, so I can write monumental Methods, I'm not the King But niggaz is decaf I stick em for the CREAM check it, just how deep can shit get Deep as the abyss and brothers is mad fish accept it In your Cross Colour, clothes you've crossed over Then got Totally Krossed Out and Kris Kross Who da boss? Niggaz get tossed to the side And I'm the dark side of the Force Of course it's the Method, Man from the Wu-Tang Clan I be hectic, and comin for the head piece protect it Fuck it, two tears in a bucket, niggaz want the ruckus Bustin at me bruh, now bust it Styles, I gets buckwild Method Man on some shit, pullin niggaz files I'm sick, insane, crazy, Drivin Miss Daisy Out her fuckin mind now I got mine I'm Swayze And VA’AIGA GRABS FOR A SPARE MICROPHONE!! Method Man & Va’aiga: Is it real son, is it really real son Let me know it's real son, if it's really real Something I could feel son, load it up and kill one Want it raw deal son, if it's really real Va’aiga: C’MON! Method Man: Brothers want to hang with the Meth bring the rope the only way you hang is by the neck nigga poke off the set comin to your projects Take it as a threat, better yet it's a promise Comin from a vet on some old Vietnam shit Nigga you can bet your bottom dollar hey I bomb shit And it's gonna get even worse word to God It's the Wu comin through sickin niggaz for they garments Movin on your left, southpaw em it's the Meth Came to represent and carve my name in your chest You can come test realize you're no contest Son I'm the gun that won that old Wild West Quick on the draw with my hands on the four nine three eleven with the rugged rhymes galore Check it cause I think not when this hip-hops like proper Rhymes be the proof while I'm drinkin 90 proof Huh vodka, no OJ, no straw When you give it to me aiy, give it to me raw I've learned when you drink Absolut straight it burns Enough to give my chest hairs a perm I don't need a chemical blow to pull a hoe All I need is Chemical Bank to pay da mo' Va’aiga: All my fans, can I have a BOO-YAH for the MEEEETHHOOD MAAAAAAAAAAN… The crowd as one rises with a massive call of “BOO-YAH!” Riley: Well, that’s ONE way to make an entrance, I’ll admit. Comet: Va’aiga starting this evening off with a bang. Riley: How is Ejiro going to top that? The arena drop to darkness again, and two spotlights focus on the entrance area as three figures walk out into the entrance gate. The first spotlight picks up the cut Asian figure of Ejiro Fasaki, and assisting him as he has had to recently, Wildchild. The second picks up, armed and deadly with a microphone in her hand… AVRIL LAVIGNE! The pair stride down the entrance Avril Lavigne: OOOOOOOOOOH EJIROOOOOOOOOO YOU’RE MY HEROOOOOOOOOOOO NOTHING RHYMES WITH FASAKI EXCEPT MAYBE EPOXY SO I HOPE THIS STICKS WITH ALL THE KRAUTS AND THE MICKS WELL I GUESS YOU’RE IN HEAVENNNN IN THE MAGNIFICENT SEVENNNNNNN! TOM FLESHER IS COOOOOOOOOOOOOL! AND YOU’RE IN JUSTICE AND RUUUUULE! OOOOOOOOOOH EJIROOOOOOOOOO YOU’RE MY HEROOOOOOOOOOOO NOTHING RHYMES WITH FASAKI EXCEPT MAYBE EPOXY SO I HOPE THIS STICKS WITH ALL THE KRAUTS AND THE MICKS TOOOOO BAD JANUS WENT NUTS AND FUGUE GOT IN A RUT ATLAS LEFT TO GO MOPE WHILE WILDCHILD SELLS DOOOOOPE OOOOOOOOOOH EJIROOOOOOOOOO YOU’RE MY HEROOOOOOOOOOOO NOTHING RHYMES WITH FASAKI EXCEPT MAYBE EPOXY SO I HOPE THIS STICKS WITH ALL THE KRAUTS AND THE MICKS HEY HOW ABOUT A TIP THIS SONG IS SUCH A JIP I FEEL LIKE A JERK BECAUSE EJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRO WROTE IT AT WORK After holding the Ejiro note for a LOOOONG time in the centre of the ring, Avril takes a brief rest to grab her breath. Ejiro produces a microphone of his own and announces to the crowd… Ejiro: Please stand for the American National anthem, as performed by the two finest singers ever to enter the SWF. That would be Avril Lavigne. And me. And they start, in almost perfect disharmony, Ejiro almost, but not ENTIRELY as off key as Roseanne Barr. Wildchild stands behind them with a distant look on his face, holding a US flag framing the two “singers”. Avril & Ejiro: Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light, What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? The crowd boos heartily at the near massacre of the American tune, and Ejiro pauses and smiles out into the audience, beginning again… Avril & Ejiro: On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep, Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes… …and Va’aiga SMASHES an lariat across the back of Ejiro Fasaki’s neck! Avril runs screaming form the ring and Va’aiga grabs the impeccably dressed Funyon and grabs him firmly by the throat. Va’aiga: DO the formalities now or I’ll kick your ass as bad as I’m gonna kick his! Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the SWF UNIIIIIIIIITED STAAAAAAAATES CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAMPIONSHIIIIIIIP! Your referee is Eddy Long. Introducing first, from Rotorua, Aotearoa. He stands six feet and nine inches tall and weighs in tonight at three hundred and five pounds. He is a former SWF Tag Team and Hardcore Gamers champion. He is the master of the Maori Drop, and tonight is representing the Unholy Trinity stable of wrestlers. He is the Maori Badass… THIS IS VAAAAAA’AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAA! Va’aiga raises his fists to the crowd who cheer wildly for the massive Maori! Va’aiga stares across the ring at Ejiro who is dusting himself down and picking himself up. Funyon: And his opponent, hailing from Sarasota, Florida. He stands five feet and eight inches tall, and weighs in at one hundred and eighty-eight pounds. He represents the Magnificent Seven and is one half of Justice and Rule, he is the master of Ejirocation, and of the Cobra Crossface. This is the Reigning SWF UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, EJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIROOOOOOOO FAAAAAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIII! Ejiro salutes the crowd, who respond with a hearty round of boos. Eddy Long signals for the bell, and the timekeeper starts this, the opening match up of SWF Genesis IV. Comet: And here we go! Riley: This is it, this is the biggest Pay Per View spectacular in the whole of SWF history. And this isn’t your average wrestling hyperbole. This really is it. Comet: I get tingles just being here, Robert. Ejiro and Va’aiga walk into the centre of the ring, and Va’aiga offers a test of strength. Ejiro goes for it, much to the surprise of everyone, but Va’aiga stands back in the test and avoids Ejiro’s entirely predictable kick. Va’aiga steps up and powers down, forcing the Japanese American down to his knees, and then applying a strong side headlock. Va’aiga works the headlock with a pair of sharp locking motions, but Ejiro fires Va’aiga off to the ropes, and Wildchild trips the Maori Badass up, sending Va’aiga face first to the canvas. Riley: Wildchild could well be the difference in this match. Comet: You’re advocating the bending of rules again, aren’t you Robert? Riley: I’m not advocating it. I’m IMPLORING it. Ejiro smiles to himself as Va’aiga picks his big Maori form up off the mat. Va’aiga throws a vicious snarl at Ejiro, and Ejiro counters with a sharp smirk. Va’aiga lunges for the cruiserweight across the ring, but Ejiro grabs quickly for an arm of Va’aiga and wrenches the Maori round with a top wristlock, flowing effortlessly into a hammerlock. Va’aiga reaches back, looking for a snapmare, but Ejiro wheels round and down quickly, taking Va’aiga back to the mat with a drop toe hold and then floating round amateur style over the downed Maori to lock in a grounded front chancery. Riley: Ejiro TOTALLY outmatches Va’aiga in wrestling ability. If the Sarasota Superstar can keep the big lug down on the mat and keep wearing him down, that whole power advantage thing is gone. Comet: There’s still well over 100lbs weight difference and a clear foot of height to deal with though. Riley: Well, there’s no height difference if Va’aiga is horizontal. Ejiro works on the headlock for a few seconds before Va’aiga shakes himself a little leverage and rolls over, loosening the pressure. Ejiro looks to lift Va’aiga off the canvas for a short inverted DDT, but Va’aiga springs up, gaining enough purchase behind his legs to get to his feet, back to Ejiro, and as Ejiro tries for a back waistlock, Va’aiga fires off a quick series of back elbows to free himself. Va’aiga shoots Ejiro to the ropes with a lightning fast Irish Whip, but as Va’aiga sets off in the opposite direction, looking to set for a running shoulderblock, AGAIN Wildchild trips him up, and Ejiro drops an elbow into Va’aiga’s upper back and sets in the grounded front chancery again. Comet: So you want to see the larger, more muscular man lying face down, flat at floor level. Riley: Yes I do, why? Comet: Just wondering, Robert. Ejiro slowly levers Va’aiga to his feet and transitions from a chancery to a full side headlock, firing a pair of stiff knees up into the solar plexus of his opponent. Turning to the crowd and sneering, Ejiro pushes Va’aiga off, and as the Maori stumbles, Ejiro fires off a stiff kick to the rear of the Maori’s kneecap, taking Va’aiga down to his knees. Ejiro backs off and rushes at Va’aiga but as Ejiro leaps, looking to hit a knee to the Maori Badass’ face, Va’aiga stands and grabs a tight bearhug on the cruiserweight! Va’aiga sends Ejiro down HARD back first to the mat with a Bearhug slam, almost a Farooqesque spine buster. Comet: And Ejiro goes down to the mat with that tremendous slam from the Maori Badass. Riley: Are you going to be cheerleading for the Maori all the way through this match? Comet: Are you going to be cheerleading for Ejiro? Riley: I am a fair an unbiased journalist of unparalleled moral standing. Va’aiga drops a quick elbow on the Japanese American beneath him and stands again quickly. Va’aiga shoots himself against the ropes, only to be stopped in his tracks, kicking out at Wildchild who makes a THIRD grab for his legs. Va’aiga backs off a half step, only to fall prey to a sneak attack from Ejiro, who schoolboys the Maori! Eddy Long drops to count… ONE! T.. a VERY short one count as Va’aiga kicks out. Eddy Long goes to the ropes and points at Wildchild dramatically, then dressing-room-wards. Wildchild doesn’t look overly unhappy about being thrown out, but Ejiro resists the temptation to protest, using the distraction to the referee to plant a FIRM kick between the legs of Va’aiga. The crowd’s cheering is replaced by a round of boos as Ejiro moves to pin again… ONE! TWO! T.. and Va’aiga kicks out. Comet: Well I guess Wildchild isn’t going to be a factor in this match any more. He did however allow one low blow to be fired at the Maori Badass, and that could have sealed the Maori’s fate early. Riley: It doesn’t matter if you have balls of New Zealand Extreme Weather Resistant Granite™. Ejiro can low blow ANYONE in enough ways to ensure victory. As the pair stand, Ejiro fires off a quick pair of kicks and whips the Maori to the ropes, grabbing the Maori’s arm as he rebounds and hitting a single arm DDT on the big guy. As Va’aiga impacts shoulder on canvas, Ejiro holds on with a short armbar. Va’aiga shakes loose enough to put his foot on the ropes and Eddy Long orders a break, Ejiro taking 4.9999 of his five count to break. Ejiro stands and fires some quick kicks to the grounded Maori’s shoulder and bicep and Va’aiga is forced to roll away out of the ring to recuperate. Ejiro strikes a pose in the ring to draw ANOTHER round of boos, and Va’aiga finds a camera at ringside to growl into. Riley: Ejiro already starting to work on the arm of the Maori Badass, looking as ever to limit a bigger man’s offence with skilful and well placed attacks. Comet: I’ll admit, Robert, it’s a sound strategy. Va’aiga takes five to get back into the ring, and Ejiro is prepared, firing away AGAIN at the shoulder of the Maori, clean precise shots designed or the most impact with the least effort, each shot sending a resounding crack throughout the arena. Ejiro stops to turn and leer at the audience, who respond with a small “Ejiro sucks” chant, badly out of time. Riley: You know the morons can’t chant more than three syllables without losing their tiny little minds. Ejiro lifts Va’aiga up off the canvas and steps through the Maori, snapping Va’aiga down with a modified STO, spinning through a little to land Va’aiga solidly on his shoulder. Va’aiga winces a little as he lands and Ejiro pounces, locking in a high scissors, almost a shoulderlock on the Maori Badass, grinning as he sees the Maori actually show some small signs of pain. Riley: Ejiro Fasaki, like a coiled tiger, ready to strike. Comet: Don’t you mean snake? Riley: Ejiro Fasaki, like a coiled tiger, ready to snake? You’re an idiot, Comet. Va’aiga spasms on the mat, slamming himself back first into the mat, trying to release the grip of Ejiro’s legs on his shoulder, slowly working his way towards the ropes. Ejiro grips tight, wrapped around Va’aiga’s arms, trying his best to rip Va’aiga’s arm clean from it’s ball and socket joint. Va’aiga tries to free himself, reaching his other arm over to prise himself free and somehow the big Maori unlocks himself engouh to slide his arm half out of Ejiro’s grip, leaving the Floridian with barely enough purchase to hold on, and Va’aiga scoots to a rope and sticks a leg out, Ejiro AGAIN taking 4.99999 to break on Eddy Long’s command. Comet: Is it just me or is Ejiro Fasaki a little reticent to break on the referee’s command. Riley: If you have a hold, you don’t want to break it just because some idiot above you starts counting. If I had my way the referee would only be there to count pinfalls, and that’s it. Anything else is overstepping their bounds. Comet: So you’d have every match a no DQ match? Riley: Certainly not. Those things are dangerous. Who do you think I am? Jamie Drazon? Comet: The resemblance is stunning. No Really. Riley and Comet continue bickering as Ejiro fires off more kicks down at the grounded Va’aiga, grabbing hold of the rope to add a little height and bounce to a couple of shoulder aimed stomps. Placing the heel of his boot directly into Va’aiga’s shoulder, Ejiro grinds away, placing his full body weight, rope assisted onto his downed Maori opponent. Eddy Long orders Ejiro away from the ropes and gets a concise and entirely rude answer, and the crowd sticks up for Eddy with another boofest. Comet: The crowd really getting on the back of Ejiro Fasaki today. Riley: I see Eddy Long’s fan club and his mother are sharing the same seat again. Bolstered by the crowd Eddybrigs Ejro off the ropes and points to his badge, holds his shirt and gives the whole “I’m the official here, you do as I say” speech as Va’aiga slowly drags hiself up on the ropes. Ejiro gives a look of disdain as he turns form Eddy Long, STRAIGHT INTO A BACKDROP OVER THE ROPES! Ejiro flies clean over the ring apron and lands in a crumpled heap on the outside. Va’aiga back up and rushes the ropes on the opposite side of the ring and as Ejiro stands slowly, dusting himself down Va’aiga SAILS OVER THE ROPES WITH THE DISGUSTINGLY UGLY AND HORRIFICLY EFFECTIVE MAORI SLINGSHOT PLANCHA! Comet: PLANCHA! PLANCHA FROM VA’AIGA! Riley: I haven’t seen that ugly a pile of bodies lying on the floor since.. umm.. err… never mind. Va’aiga stands slowly, clutching his shoulder as one member of the crowd shouts out “¡UNO MAS!” to some laughter from the front sections of the audience. Eddy Long starts the count on the people on the outside as Va’aiga grabs an arm of the man known as RULE~! And whips him straight towards the ring steps, sending Ejiro clattering into them with a resounding clang! Va’aiga charges at Ejiro but the wily Asian positions himself round far enough to DROP TOE HOLD VA’AIGA INTO A PIECE OF RING STEPS! Va’aiga thuds off the steel and Ejiro rolls quickly into the ring and out again. Riley: Ejiro resetting the count there. Sound strategy again from the Magnificent Seven stalwart. Comet: Did you hear the clang of Maori on Steel as Va’aiga hit those steps. Riley: I think his head bounced off. Nowhere that could do serious damage to the Stone Headed Idiot. Ejiro kicks away AGAIN at Va’aiga’s shoulder and stands, looking at the guardrail. Ejiro lifts Va’aiga up and leads him by a headlock over to the guardrail. Ejiro smashes Va’aiga down into it, adds a knee to the gut to make Va’aiga bend double over the guardrail. Ejiro stands back and then swings his leg up, over where Va’aiga is hunched and brings it down DRIVING VA’AIGA’S SHOULDER INTO THE GUARDRAIL! Va’aiga reels away in pain clutching at his shoulder as Ejiro bows to the booing front row. Riley: FASAKI FUSER INTO THE GUARDRAIL! Comet: A stinging attack from the master of psychology, Ejiro Fasaki. Riley: El Gigante would look like a master of psychology fighting the Maori Dumbass. Ejiro drags Va’aiga to his feet and slings the big Maori back into the ring. Sliding in under the bottom rope himself, Ejiro reaches across for a quick cover… ONE! TWO! THR.. and Va’aiga kicks out. Ejiro curses quietly and stands, considering his options. Dropping his level of subtlety further Ejiro fires off a quick kick, kick, knee, knee, elbow smash series onto the Maori as he stands, and watches in glee as Va’aiga is left standing stunned. Ejiro taps his elbow, drawing the ire of the crowd again, and spins round, whipping his arm round into a SCREAMING ELBOW TO VA’AIGA’S SHOUDLER! Va’aiga staggers back, clutching the arm to try desperately to relieve the pain and EJIRO FIRES OFF A SECOND SCREAMING ELBOW, RIGHT IN THE SWEET SPOT AGAIN!! Va’aiga reels and slumps backwards in the corner, grimacing and clutching hard on his arm. Riley: TWO SCREAMING ELBOWS! I think Ejiro Fasaki wants that arm as a trophy. Comet: You know something else. I think that’s Va’aiga’s Lariating arm that Ejiro is working on. Ejiro stands on the second turnbuckle and uses it as a springboard up to a snap kick into Va’aiga’s arm, before grabbing hold and hitting an armbar takedown out of the corner, holding on for a Fujiwara armbar. Ejiro screams for Va’aiga to tap, but the takedown didn’t take the Maori Badass far enough away from the ropes and Va’aiga slides a toe over the bottom rope, forcing another break, AGAIN held to the max before Eddy Long has to physically pull Ejiro off Va’aiga to make the Justice and Rule member obey the rules. Riley: On that last point, let’s have a look at the first time Ejiro Fasaki faced the Maori Badass. The picture in picture shows Ejiro still stomping away at Va’aiga’s RIGHT arm in the corner, as the main shot shows Va’aiga charging at Ejiro and making the poor unfortunate Japanese Expatriot swing 360 degrees round his tattooed arm with the JUST AS GUTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL TO WATCH THE SECOND TIME RIGHT ARM LAAARIIATTOOOOH… Riley: I’ll admit you have appoint there Comet. Ejiro is being more cunning than even I imagined. Ejiro lifts Va’aiga up off the mat again by the damaged arm and smiles at the wincing Maori as he moves round to a top wristlock, then to a standing armbar. Ejiro smashes the back of Va’aiga’s skull with a vicious roundhouse enzuigiri, and as Va’aiga falls forwards to the mat Ejiro holds onto the Maori’s arm, locking in an armbar on Va’aiga as he falls! The crowd starts it’s first “VA-ING-UH!” chant of the match as Va’aiga slams his free arm against the mat, trying to work both himself and the crowd up as Ejiro asks Eddy Long to check on Va’aiga. Comet: Va’aiga locked up in a deadly armbar from the master of arm submissions Ejiro Fasaki. Riley: Fasaki seems to be the master of many styles tonight, grasshopper. Ejiro Fasaki grabs on tight to the arm of Va’aiga and screams out as he tries his hardest to hyperextend every joint he can wrap his arms and legs round. Va’aiga grimaces and lets out a low growl as he himself focuses his energies on escaping, twisted to a defiant NO! as Eddy Long asks him if he wants to submit. Ejiro screams a massive “ASK HIM!” in his slightly trans-Pacific accent and Va’aiga rocks with the pain, trying his hardest to power his way out of Ejiro’s vice like grasp. Riley: Va’aiga is going to have to tap out soon. All the pressure on his arm from the tonight spectacular Ejiro Fasaki is going to tell in the end. Comet: Va’aiga is a tough cookie in any fight tough. He doesn’t crumble. He rearely breaks. Riley: Not much like a cookie at all then. Comet: Well a REALLY REALLY tough one. Ejiro again calls for Eddy Long to check on Va’aiga, and again Eddy checks on the Maori Badass. Again the screamed “NO!” replay leaks nothing but defiance from the Maori Badass’ emotions. Ejiro draws breath and lets out a frustrated howl as he grabs TIGHT on the arm of the Maori and desperately tries to force a tap, swinging his body round to make the position the armbar is being applied more powerful, and more comfortable himself. Riley: From a standard armbar to a Fujiwara armbar again! Ejiro is going through the A-Z of armbar related hurt. Not even the Lionheart himself could have THIS great a knowledge of the fine art of armbaristry. Comet: A master wizard in the dark arts of Armbarmancy Riley: An ambarophile who leaves every victim armbarphobic. Ejiro wrenches back, Va’aiga sweating at the brow and straining every last muscle in his body to find some way, any way to escape the lethal hold Ejiro has on him. Va’aiga wriggles one way and another but Ejiro is like a Florida Gator with it’s jaws locked round it’s prey and there is NO WAY that the Asian-American is letting go. Eddy Long asks again, and this time to “NO!” form Va’aiga is a little quieter. Riley: This HAS to be the point where the Maori Badass gives up. HAS to be. Va’aiga tries to break but his wriggling is lessening and lessening with every second passing, as Ejiro cranks and cranks on the pressure. Va’aiga gives another negative replay to another Eddy Long ask, and Ejiro jaws with people in the front row giving him aggro, as the confidence of near certain victory boots his spirits. Comet: Va’aiga looks to be fading here. Ejiro has this match totally in the balance as the Maori Badass is stuck in the vicious armbar of Ejiro Fasaki, the Rembrandt of Armbaristry. Riley: While Va’aiga is looking more an more like a Picasso with his face all scrunched up in pain there. Ejiro wrenches again, and the unnatural bend in the arm in Va’aiga’s arm is near sickening, but the Maori still refuses, ever more softly mind, to tap. Ejiro screams at Eddy Long to check Va’aiga again, and Eddy lifts Va’aiga’s free arm as the Maori Badass fails to respond to see if the Maori hasn’t just tapped, he’s passed out through the pain. Sucking wind and wracked with pain, Va’aiga closes his eyes and the arm falls to the canvas. Riley: This is it! This really is it for the Maori Badass! Ejiro has the retention of his US title totally in the bag. Ejiro adds a little bitter “He’s done for now” to guide the crowd into booing him, rather than riling up Va’aiga. The crowd decide to go back to their original intentions, as a “VA-ING-UH!” chant builds slowly around the arena, and Ejiro’s face turns to a scowl out to the audience. Eddy Long again lifts Va’aiga’s arm, and again the arm drops limply, lifelessly to the mat below. The crowd noise builds as Ejiro screams out a “SHUT UP!” to the packed MSG house. Comet: The crowd getting on the back of Ejiro Fasaki. Riley: Yeah but that’s not gonna matter. They can boo all they damn well like, but when that arm hits the canvas again, it’s goodnight Vienna, arrivaderci, goodnight, goodbye and maybe even kia ora. Comet: Nice to see you’ve learned a little Maori for our Va’aiga fans out there. Riley: I’m sure they’re both very happy about it too. Eddy Long moves round to lift Va’aiga’s arm for one last time as Ejiro nods frantically, knowing that soon the match will be over and he’ll be able to walk out of the arena, still US champion. The chants for Va’aiga are now up to the near deafening levels, and as Eddy Long releases the hand it drops… …and stabilises about three inches above the mat, fist clenched! Va’aiga’s eyes open and he convulses on the mat, drawing his legs ion closer to his stomach. Ejiro’s head changes from nodding in agreement with what’s going on as he nears victory, to shaking his head furiously, with a look of shock on his face! Va’aiga draws his legs in near enough to plant his feet down and slowly begins to stand as Ejiro is now holding on for dear life, but Va’aiga gets enough purchase to swing a MASSIVE left cross punch into the face of Ejiro Fasaki, and Ejiro staggers backwards, releasing the hold. Sensing what’s going on the crowd calls “ONE!” Comet: OH MY GOD! Va’aiga breaks the hold!” Va’aiga breaks the hold! Va’aiga… Riley: …breaks the hold, we know. Va’aiga draws his massive meat hook like fist back for a second time as the semi stunned Ejiro, taken aback by both the breaking of the hold and the suddenness of the blow finds his face assaulted with a second massive punch. The crowd calls “TWO!” as Va’aiga draws his arm back again and readies the third punch. Comet: here we go. It’s approaching that time of day again. Riley: What time? Va’aiga smashes a third punch into the staggering Ejiro Fasaki (“THREE!”) and still favouring his right arm he draws it back and places his fist to his lips. The crowd warms up an oooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA as Va’aiga prepares his swing and with a sickening thud Va’aiga’s right uppercut hits Ejiro… (“BOO-YAH!”) Comet: BOO-YAH TIME! …and the blow sends BOTH men staggering backwards! Ejiro steadies himself on the ropes and feels around inside the side of his tights as the referee checks on Va’aiga and asks if his arm is ok, and if he wouldn’t mind awfully not using a closed fist. Riley: See there’s always going to be this problem with Va’aiga. Intelligence. He just lacks it. Comet: That’s a harsh criticism! Riley: Would YOU fire off a punch from you injured arm? Comet: Well… no. Va’aiga turns back to Ejiro and charges but Ejiro fires off a punch, and Va’aiga drops to the canvas with all the grace and poise of your average earthquake. Ejiro slides something inside his tights as he turns and puts on a back press, facing AWAY from Eddy Long as he drops to count… ONE! TWO! THR… and Va’aiga kicks out! Comet: Ejiro Fasaki just hit Va’aiga with a foreign object! Riley: Va’aiga IS a foreign object. Comet: He cheated! Riley: Did he get caught? Comet: No. Riley: He DIDN’T cheat. Clearly frustrated Ejiro slides back into his tights and pulls out his chain, wrapping it round his fist (again? Dear reader, YOU decide!) but Eddy Long spots Ejiro flagrantly breaking the rules and grabs the chain off the Floridian and throws it clear of the ring, landing the chain on the timekeeper’s table to a smattering of ironic applause from that section of the New York crowd. Ejiro rants and raves to Eddy Long and even goes so far as to push the referee, who promptly spills over Va’aiga as he gets up, and Ejiro uses the opportunity to PLANT Va’aiga with a massive, MASSIVE low blow. The males of the crowd wince. Comet: Well you HAVE to consider THAT cheating Robert! Riley: Did the referee see it? Comet: No. Riley: Well then. Learn the ways of the dark side. Ejiro drops to pin Va’aiga, but as he gets the cover, the cunning Fasaki realises that knocking over the ref is a double edged sword, and breaks as Eddy Long takes a fair amount of time to stumble to a counting position. Ejiro stands over Va’aiga, still laying on the mat and stomps his feet, calling out to the crowd “THAT’S IT!” and flipping Va’aiga over like a burger, Ejiro grapevines the injured arm of Va’aiga, locks in a half nelson and wraps his arm around the neck of the Maori Badass… Riley: COBRA CROSSFACE! COBRA CROSSFACE! …but as Riley calls the move, Ejiro can’t quite get his crossfacing arm around the bridge of Va’agia’s nose as the Maori Badass slowly rises to one knee, shaking Ejiro free from the grapevine. The Maori just gets enough purchase to jump a little off the ground and fall backwards, landing directly on Ejiro with his full body weight! After landing n a sort of ugly back press, Eddy Long drops to count… ONE! TWO! TH.. and Ejiro kicks out. Riley: NO! Comet: Va’aiga counters the Cobra Crossface with a modified Samoan Drop! Va’aiga rises slowly to his feet, anger rising in his expression, veins slowly bulging out on his forehead, eyes bulging too, hatred laced stare pointing straight at Ejiro Fasaki’s form on the canvas. Ejiro stands slowly, half backing off the Maori Badass as Va’aiga approaches him. Ejiro leaps up and goes for a spinning heel kick, and Va’aiga swats him away like an irritating little housefly with his left arm, sending Ejiro crashing back to the mat. Comet: Va’aiga is recovering. Va’aiga is coming back into this match, and this could mean big trouble for Ejiro Fasaki. Ejiro, still half shying away from Va’aiga recovers his feet, to be greeted by a “COME ON!” from the massive Maori, growing in confidence. Ejiro cautiously attacks, firing off a chop into the stomach of the Maori Badass, who doesn’t budge an inch… Riley: I can’t watch… …Ejiro backs off and takes a second savage swipe at the chest of Va’aiga, drawing little more than a grunt from the Godfather of Booyah. Ejiro tires a third time and.. GETS HIS HEAD NEAR RIPPED OFF WITH A STOMACH TURNING, MILK CHURNING, NITRO BURNING AND FUEL REACTION, BURY ME A LARIAT VICTIM I NEED SOME SPINAL TRACTION *LEFT* ARMED LAAAAARIIIIIIIIAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOOOH! Riley: …Ow. Comet: Well what do you know. Va’aiga CAN use both arms. Lets have a double feature on THAT. As Va’aiga stalks Ejiro, waiting on the Sarasota native’s wobbly legs, The main picture shows Ejiro being turned inside out and flipping 360 degrees as Va’aiga’s arm makes contact with his throat at scary, SCARY speed. As the PiP fades out and the match happening fills the screen, the thooooooooooousands in attendance and miiiiiilions watching around the world are treated to seeing Ejiro BLASTED with a running tackle, left shoulder first, sending the Asian star crashing down to the mat, and Va’aiga holds on for a mount position, firing off left hands into Ejiro’s head. Eddy Long forces Va’aiga to break and as he starts a lecture on the use of a closed fist, Va’aiga makes the crowd pop and Long back off with a… Va’aiga: BOO-YAH! Riley: Is Booyahing a ref a disqualifiable offnse? Comet: I’m not sure, would you like to go ask the Maori if it’s ever happened before? Riley: Ummm. No. Va’aiga, fire in his belly for the first time in this match lifts Ejiro off the mat IN a back waistlock and suplexes him practically from the mat, almost a modified wheelbarrow suplex, sending Ejiro flying across the ring. Va’aiga recovers first and brings the stomps, then drops an elbow and covers… ONE! TWO! THR… and Ejiro kicks out. Va’aiga stands, dragging Ejiro up with him and forcing the Japanese descended cruiserweight into a standing head scissors. Va’aiga wrenches Ejiro up onto his shoulders and SMASHES the cruiser down to the mat with a release powerbomb! Va’aiga: AH YEAH! Comet: Va’aiga really has the wind behind him. Riley: So would you if you saw his high carbohydrate diet’s contents while he’s been adding muscle mass. Va’aiga scrapes Ejiro back off the mat again and slams him down HARD, with a nice old fashioned bodyslam. Peeling Ejiro off again, Va’aiga whips the current US champion into the ropes and as Ejiro rebounds Va’aiga pushes him up into the air and then SPIKES him down to the mat with a massive left arm Flapjack! Va’aiga drops to cover… ONE! TWO! THR.. and Ejiro kicks out. Comet: Va’aiga is hitting his stride here. When the Maori Badass gets a head of steam behind him, he’s one of the most brutal competitors you could ever face. Riley: Yeah but Ejiro is tough, Tough, TOUGH. It’s going to take more than going through your arsenal of big power moves to take out a Magnificent Seven stalwart like Mr Fasaki. Va’aiga lifts Ejiro up again and fires off a knee into his opponent’s stomach. With Ejiro bent double, Va’aiga half suplexes Ejiro up over his shoulder, maybe looking for a southern lights bomb, but Ejiro slips down, rolls through and scissors up Va’aiga’s body, looking for a double leg rollup! Va’aiga gets rolled over and his shoulders down… ONE! TWO! THR.. and Va’aiga kicks out, shocked and annoyed. Mostly annoyed. Va’aiga dismisses Ejiro with a punch, but from the mat Ejiro reaches up and grabs a leg, schoolMaoriing Va’aiga and drawing Eddy Long down to count again… ONE! TWO! THR… and Va’aiga kicks out again, MORE annoyed this time. Ejiro curses himself. Comet: It looks like Ejiro is looking to finish off Va’aiga any way he can! Riley: It’s a sound strategy to break up Va’aiga’s pattern of thought and slow his momentum. Va’aiga stands first, but Ejiro is quick to his feet as well, and Ejiro leaps, looking to calf kick Va’aiga and stagger the big man, and Va’aiga… CATCHES EJIRO FASAKI ACROSS HIS CHEST! Va’aiga turns four quarter turns, showing where Ejiro is trapped before SNAPPING OFF A MAORI DROP! Va’aiga hooks the leg… ONE! TWO! THR… and Ejiro kicks out! Riley: Wow! Ejiro kicked out of the Maori Drop! Comet: Ejiro is Tough, as you said Riley. Riley: I’m always right. Va’aiga keeps hold of Ejiro and lifts the Japanese American up across his chest again, looking to fire off a second Maori Drop, but Ejiro slips round and grabs the bad arm of Va’aiga, and getting an armbar takedown! Va’aiga groans and Ejiro slides round looking to grapevine the arm, looking for the Cobra Crossface! Va’aiga is wise to a second attempt however and slips loose, catching Ejiro looking for the half nelson too early and wrenches Ejiro down to the mat, tying him up in HIS OWN COBRA CROSSFACE HOLD! Comet: Va’aiga has the Cobra Crossface! Va’aiga has the Cobra Crossface! Knowing the hold like the back of his hand Ejiro easily slips out, and has time to hammer another shot away at the arm of Va’aiga. Va’aiga reels from the blow and EWjiro lifts him off the mat and wrenches the big Maori up across his chest… and promptly collapses backwards under the weight of the 305lber. Eddy Long drops to count… ONE! TWO! THR… and Ejiro kicks out. Comet: Well Va’aiga failed miserably with the Cobra Crossface, but even with adrenaline, skill, technique and a vicious streak the size of Lake Superior, Ejiro Fasaki cannot Maori Drop the Maori Badass. The pair stand again, and Ejiro uses his edge in speed to beat Va’aiga to the first strike. Ejiro grabs STRAIGHT for the arm and applies a quick top wristlock, moving through to a hammerlock, and then looking for a standing armbar, and an armbar takedown. Va’aiga counters quickly, fearing for his arm’s safety and drags Ejiro back in looking for a short arm clothesline, which given the foot’s height difference Ejiro ducks with ease. Ejiro tries to drag Va’aiga back round, and gets as far as extending Va’aiga’s arm out for a whip, but Va’aiga spins and twists Ejiro back round, locking Ejiro’s arm across his own throat! Va’aiga steps through, and bends down, racking Ejiro Fasaki up across his back in a modified Argentine Backbreaker, Ejiro’s arm still trapped across his own throat. Comet: Uh oh. Va’aiga has Ejiro in a half straightjacket choke torture rack thingy. I can’t say precisely what the Maori Badass has planned, but MAN is that a lethal looking submission. Riley: Make it stop, please God make it stop. Va’aiga keeps Ejiro racked for a good ten seconds, and then SITS OUT, DROPPING EJIRO OVER HIS SHOULDERS AND SENDING THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN MEMBER HEAD FUCKING FIRST INTO THE CANVAS, TOTALLY UNPROTECTED. Va’aiga hooks a leg of the totally sparked out Ejiro and Eddy Long drops to count… ONE! TWO! THREE! Comet: Va’aiga wins! Va’aiga wins. EMTs rush out to the ring and put Ejiro on a stretcher, and purely for safety’s sake his head in a gurney, as half of the SWF’s most successful tag team, EVER is still woozy looking. The ringside doctor gives him the basic concussion check and thumbs up to the back indicating that Ejiro is not only not dead, but for a man dropped on his head VERY hard, basically OK. Meanwhile in the ring Va’aiga pushes Eddy Long away as he attempts to raise his right hand, and forces Long to raise the Maori Badass’ left instead. Funyon: Your winner, and NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION, VAAAAAAAA’AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIGGGGAAAAAAA Va’aiga grabs Funyon’s mic off him as Eddy Long helps tie the US title around the massive New Zealander’s waist. Breathing heavily into the mic, exhausted from the brutal match and his right arm drooping by his side Va’aiga prepares to speak. Riley: god no. Not only does he win, but he’s grabbed the stick. Va’aiga: THIS BELT…. THIS BELT…. ANYONE… ANY TIME. And Ejiro. You’re welcome to come face me first. Just take a few days to heal up from that STINGER…. BOO-YAH! Comet: Blunt and to the point. Riley: And ending in Boo-yah. Comet: That’s Va’aiga, and that’s your NEW SWF US Champion. Riley: Well just look at what’s left to come on this card. Tom Flesher! The tag titles! Tom Flesher! The commissionership decided! Tom Flesher! It’s such a packed night, no need to dwell on the US title leaving such an upstanding American citizen as Ejiro and being placed around the waist of a large, uncouth psychopath like Va’aiga. Comet: And word from the back says that Ejiro is perfectly okay folks. He’s just had doctors advice not to get “Stingered” by any psychotic Maoris in the next couple of days. Or ever again, for that matter. Riley: I have to concede that’s a VERY special move the Maori pulled out to win. Now let’s never speak of this match again. Comet: Well let’s talk about the future then. The Future of the SWF. English Dragon vs John Duran is up next.

EJIRO vs VA¡¦AIGA comments. Again I say, Z¡K I was HCG Champion! ¡§Va¡¦aiga comes into this match a little lighter than we are used to seeing him,¡¨ notes The Cyclone Comet. ¡§I have to wonder if he dropped some weight in the last week in order to improve his stamina for what is sure to be a war of attrition between him and Fasaki.¡¨ Yeah, I spent all that time bulking up 20lbs too ƒº Boxing to start giving Va¡¦aiga a full Eight count! Don¡¦t mess with the Maori Ejiro tries to get tricksy, and east a couple of shoulder blocks. K.I.S.S. in action. (Keep it simple, Stupid!) Va¡¦aiaga busts out the full nelson (kiss that Duran!) and the Half Decapitator. Puts over the Decapitator proper. Leg work from Ejiro and a FUNK SPINNING TOE HOLD~! Don¡¦t really like Va¡¦aiga screaming in terror, it¡¦s just a bit wussy sounding. Screaming in pain is fine, screaming in terror¡¦s a bit heely. Va¡¦aiga breaks Ejiro¡¦s momentum with a Capture Exploder. Funky. Great bit of legwork from Ejiro.. and Va¡¦aiga with the ROLLUP? Ahhh I took the bit about hating cheap pins out of my style didn¡¦t it. I¡¦ll have to put that back in. More funky legwork from Ejiro and the Powerbomb from Va¡¦aiga. Bit of fannying about and Ejiro takes control and goes back to the leg. Breaking the STF with a big ol¡¦ bite! JUSTICE~! And LUNCH~! Trading bog moves, and STO for an overhead B2B. Few little covers (another Maori cradle), and other bit of Submissions from Ejiro and a Flash Maori Drop gets 2. Super Maori Drop (move that won me the SJL title, no less) gets countered. Gah! DISGUSTING underselling of the Lariat from Kivell! Va¡¦aiga kicks out of the chain strike! Go Va¡¦aiga! Brawling form Va¡¦aiga, cheating from Ejiro¡K and you forgot a NO! with Ejiro¡¦s THREE with the super Memphis cheaty cheaty pin. Second ONE-TWO-THREE-BOO-YAH! Misses. As it should, there¡¦s no way you should get away with two of them in a match. Ejiro stalling out with slow and not overly deadly submission holds leads to the crazy finish with Va¡¦aiga busting out a bunch of big spots. Maori Drop gets THREE~! Just after time expires. Well what did I think? -ves neither guy REALLY got a run of moves going. It was all a bit of one guy, then a bit of the other. Don¡¦t think the Lariat got enough death going around it, cos it¡¦s basically my #2 move now, below the Drop. If you wanted a surefire pin for the match ending, maybe Genesis would have been the time to bust a Stinger out. +ves Brilliantly written (duh) and the finish is a true MASTERWORK. I mean it rules, rules, rules, rules, rules. A match I¡¦m happy to lose to, and you won¡¦t hear that from me too often. And now go read my match on the losers thread, you miserable bastards!

RIGHT! I DEMAND EJIRO BE STRIPPED OF THE US TITLE NOW! My charge is... RULING WAY TOO MUCH TO HOLD A LESSER TITLE! Seriously. Opening a PPV with a classic, fantastically written broadway draw? I mean I often think "Now why did I lose?" or "That was a good match of mine, I'm dissapointed that didn't win." but this time I got the back end of a torpedo of writing goodness. I'll read more of the PPV later. And Z forgot that I'd won the HCG belt in my Tale of the Tape. Gah. If King used the Hammerlock Inverted DDT so did I, a good four years before joining the fed. And for that matter in a gimmick involvng the heavy use of playing card metaphors.

If IL gets bumped, can I have his SWF debut match, cos he had my SJL debut? GO IL~!

something mid 7300s, not really hopign to beat Ejiro, but something really good looking on the losers thread. I like the intros.

Due to visits from both Newcastle in the North of England (from my kid bro) and the first visit of a freind from down south for FIVE YEARS, I have written diddly squat so far. I'm sessioning BIG STYLE on sunday, so it's either going to flow like fine wine, or suck like a fine hoover. Now WHY would the craziest party week of my year coincide with the biggest SWF PPV of the year? Because as you know I have the worst writing luck in the whole world ever. I'll be sure to post my match on the losers thread for all my fan though.