Mecha Mummy

I didn't watch all of it, but wow, he's nuts. He's barely making any sense half of the time.

Too bad I didn't hear this before Axxess, I would have died of laughter when I saw HHH.

Promo-wise Jones is all right. However, his workrate is what I'm interested to see.

I suppose the chorus is good enough to catapult it over "Who Let The Dogs Out?" Which I had actually managed to forget until now.

I would love this, but only if Christian lays off the rest-holds.

Best idea I've seen so far. That could work.

When he was a face in mid-2002 he got decent enough reactions, but clearly the "Down with the Brown" stuff wasn't working.

I hated the Ladies Man. However, Perspectives RULED. Oh, and I think Maya Rudolph's all right. She's useful because she can do ANY ethnicity, it seems.

Clearly D'Lo is better off in TNA. Yeah, the pay isn't as good, but he's main eventing and he's getting a GREAT reaction from the crowd.

Not as funny as his usual stuff and what he's said has been said before, but it's still cool to read a new Mattitude commentary, and it's cool to read his views on stuff like that.

Lilah over Jenny Willow over Fred Faith over Buffy Anya over Kate Kennedy over Tara Dru over Darla Cordy over Harmony Gwen over Glory Quarter Finals: Willow over Lilah Faith over Anya Dru over Kennedy (Apprentice Slayer, meet powerful vamp. Yeahhh, you're dead.) Gwen over Cordy Semi-Finals: Willow over Faith Gwen over Dru Finals: Willow over Gwen

"Somebody's Watching Me" by ... um... that guy. Rockwell? Only reason anyone cared was because Michael Jackson did the chorus as a favor to the record producer. Oh, and "I Know What Boys Like" is awesome. So there.

Molly Shannon. She started out all right but quickly became an over-dramatic spotlight-stealing annoyance. Need proof? The Fight Club 'monologue'. 'Nuff said. I didn't like Melanie Hutsell either. She could do one voice and that Tori Spelling 'impersonation'. Weak. Chris Kattan irritates me, too, but at least the Roxbury Guys made me laugh, which puts him above the aforementioned two.

I have his rap on Brock before their match, but I'm at school right now.

Dude, this is about STUPID signs. I actually got a laugh outta that one. *Steals it for Mania*

who teamed with Jim Ross, Brian Pillman, Z-Man, and BRAD ARMSTRONG to face off against GLOW at Family Feud.

It's definitely had its moments. The "You Played The Hero Once Too Often" thing was awesome, the whole thing put Christian and Jericho over huge (The walls on Stacy, handcuffing Test, Unprettier to Jeff, and chair shot to Michaels) in my eyes.

There are rumors circling that Stevie Richards and Victoria may be in an on-camera relationship. This is considered a shocker by nobody. Credit: The I Say It So I Must Be Right Report

I was actually bummed when Kat was fired, killing her angle with RIGHT TO CENSOR.

... No, I want to! Here's the first Gosunkugi "If I Say It It Must Be Right" Report! Kevin Nash will be returning eventually. He may or may not use the Diesel gimmick. Wrestlemania will be in Seattle this year. TAKA Michinoku is somewhere in Japan. (And now I start getting ridiculous.) Scott Hall has no plans to return to WWE because he is, in actuality, going to be the new leader of NWA-TNA's Sports Entertainment Xtreme faction. Brock Lesnar is actually Crash Holly after gamma rays. This is why you never see them in the same place. Actually, they did once, but that was a robot that looks like Crash Holly. WWE will be re-signing Mabel and moving Mark Henry to Raw so they can both be managed by Teddy Long and form quite possibly the most talentless stable ever with Rodney Mack. The new trainers of Tough Enough will be Triple H, William Regal, and Hardcore Holly. Expect most of the contestants to be injured or reduced to quivering masses by episode three. And that's the news. What? I don't name sources and for all you know I could just be completely random, so you KNOW I'm right!

*Laughs his head off*

Eh. That 6.7 Earthquake didn't phase me one bit, and all it did to my house was knock my Tenchi Muyo figurines off the computer. I wouldn't worry so much.

Beat me to it. Well, at least I might be able to spot some signs at Mania...

"Rebirth of Slick" by Digable Planets "What's Up" by 4 Non Blondes "99 Luftballons" by Nena "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve "96 Tears" by ? and the Mysterians "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell

Just for mentioning the "Sodas Rule!" promo/angle Edge gets a thumbs up from me. Good column.