Mecha Mummy

Outside of four characters - Kraven, Venom, Green Goblin, and Doctor Octopus - Spider Man's foes look more suited to tangle with the Ambiguously Gay Duo. Check out the rest of these bad boys: Beetle (guy dressed in bug armor that shoots electricity) Electro (guy dressed as a green and yellow lightning bolt that shoots electricity) Shocker (guy dressed as a quilt and shoots "vibro-shock" blasts) Vulture (old "genius" - har har - who can fly around) Hydroman (guy who can turn into water) Sandman (guy who can turn into sand, manipulate his own density) Scorpion (green guy with a cybernetic tail) Mysterio (guy who wears a fishbowl and shoots mind-altering gasses) Prowler (former cleaning guy who shoots sleeping gas pellets) Rhino (giant indestructible guy dressed as a rhino) Lizard (giant lizard) Jackal (C-level villain who was responsible for the most inane 18-part Spidey crossover of all time) Carnage (idiotic second-rate Venom knockoff who was responsible for the second-most inane 18-part Spidey crossover of all time) Hammerhead (he has a big head) Puma (he has super-senses) Boomerang (he throws a boomerang) How this gaggle of morons compares to Batman's demented carnival of villains is beyond me. I could do the exact same thing you just did with the Batman Rogues Gallery. Joker (Insane. Looks like a clown.) Riddler (Slightly insane, obsessed with riddles. Wears a green suit with question marks everywhere.) Two-Face (Insane. Flips a coin.) Scarecrow (Dressed like a scarecrow.) Etc etc. But that wouldn't make it a proper criticism.

1. Rasputina @ Chop Suey, '04 2. Weird Al Yankovic @ Puyallup Fair, '03 3. The Nova Project Benefit Concert (Botox Aftermath, Left Hand of Fate, Red Scare, Superduche, Sci-Fi Life & Death, and some other bands) @ the Vera Project, '04 4. Gorillaz @ the Paramount, '02 5. The White Stripes and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs @ Seahawks Stadium Exhibition... Place. Thing. Whatever it was called, it's a terrible venue., '03 *Ducks fruit being thrown at him for this list.*

I enjoyed Wings. Not entirely certain why, but I did. Tony Shalhoub was good in it. I mean, it's definitely not a show I'm going to go out of my way to see, but I liked it. Coach, though, I never particularly enjoyed.

I thought the SAME THING and went through the SAME PROCESS as you did. On Saturday I saw DKSA in the library and checked out the first part, and to some extent I thought it was solid. Flash's attack on Supes was really cool. Then I read the second part and got confused (though admittedly I enjoyed Plastic Man and Elongated Man bickering). Really confused. Things just sort of stopped making sense. And EVIL DICK GRAYSON? What the FUCK was that? That didn't even begin to make sense. The last few pages was just like... Evil Dick: Batman I love you! Batman: *Starts acting like a loudmouthed abusive ex-boyfriend.* Gosunkugi: WTF? I could have tolerated it as a whole if it wasn't for that ending. But the existence of this is one of the reasons why I think Kingdom Come is better than Dark Knight Returns (also because DKR didn't keep pulling me back in and having me reread it like Kingcome Come has).

The Shark Boy/New Jack segments in TNA were pure gold because they were so absurd. New Jack playing Candyland was absolutely hysterical. "I GOT QUEEN FROSTINE! I GOT THE WHITE WOMAN!" Also, Spanky was gold on the RoH Round Robin Challenge DVD. After the Low-Ki/Christopher Daniels match where Daniels once again refuses to shake hands with Low-Ki, thereby disrespecting the Code of Honor, Daniels walks into the locker room and runs into a pissed off Hit Squad (who then proceed to sound like total tools), who yell at him until he storms off, and the camera goes to follow... but Spanky stops the cameraman and has him record Spanky singing along to "Hit Me Baby One More Time" or something like that. Really great execution, Spanky is a totally underrated heel.

Is it just me, or does Cable look like a temperamental European male model?

Mmmhmm. AND they're getting the Styles/Lynn/Low-Ki X Division matches, Jarrett vs. Styles, Raven's start in TNA, the New Jack/Shark Boy segments, some great tag matches, and tons of great segments (D'Lo's debut, anyone?). I'd say it's a fair trade.

For CIMA, the best match I've seen him in was CIMA vs. Genki Horiguchi from El Numero Uno '03. The rise and fall of H-A-G-E is a sight to behold.

He had a very fun match against Chavo Guerrero Jr. for the Cruiser title at one point, too. Of course, if this all happens, all I can say is that this is the result of Ultimo's bad karma in that he never properly put over any of his students other than CIMA, and then Ultimo promptly stole CIMA's thunder after jobbing anyway.

Damn. What'd Xias do to get banned so quick? Anyways, I haven't scene any puro from '04 yet, so the most recent puroresu match that I really liked was probably most of the matches from the Toryumon PPV in Yoyogi in December. The only two matches that I can remember as straight-up not being good were Masaaki Mochizuki vs. Araken and the Florida Brothers match, and you don't watch the Florida Brothers for good wrestling.

Pneumonia, I believe.

His manager is Goldylocks. Get it now? ... *Groan.* What is it with TNA and stupid names? I mean, I like the fact that they're using Shelley, especially since he'll still be working RoH, but come on now, BABY BEAR? Yeah, I would prefer "The Next" to "Baby Bear" anyday. *cough this is not Ring Of Honor, TNA could care less what they do cough* *cough THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT cough* Yes, it is. He's called "The Next" because of a stable and storyline in ROH, that has no relevance or meaning in TNA. That's the point. Nnnno, that really isn't the point here. The point is that he should have a nickname that doesn't make him sound like a complete and total wuss. I mean, I thought changing Elix Skipper's ring name to "Primetime" was dumb, but I honestly cannot think of a nickname as bad as "Baby Bear" like EVER. And besides, Shelley had been using The Next for a while before Gen Next, and it wasn't just in RoH.

Now THAT is an amusing thought, or, at least, to me it is.

Umm Taka Michinoku Sho Funaki Dick Togo MENS Teioh they seem to have full names. Funaki is very rarely referred to as Sho Funaki in WWE. MAYBE when he debuted. But I'm talking about recently as is. Michinoku I'll grant you.

Just a minor pet peeve: Why is it that Japanese wrestlers almost NEVER have first names when wrestling in America? Except for Kenzo. I mean, Akio, Sakoda, Miyamoto, Minnamino, and now Asai. Jesus.

Wow. She's an "actress", all right.

Maaan. Am I the only fan of Akira Kurosawa's films here?

His manager is Goldylocks. Get it now? ... *Groan.* What is it with TNA and stupid names? I mean, I like the fact that they're using Shelley, especially since he'll still be working RoH, but come on now, BABY BEAR?

The Seattle Times didn't care for it as well, calling it unoriginal and more or less saying that Ron Burgundy is a complete Ted Baxter knockoff (and they actually make real comparisons). I'm gonna see it anyway.

... Holy shit. Only one match that I have no interest in seeing and even that has a reason for me to watch it since I've never seen Onyx and Hernandez work. I'm most def tuning into Impact tomorrow.

I watched it and enjoyed it. Nothing spectacular but it was good. Ed McMahon was especially fun to watch.

In one fed I'm in, we did the "Hogan tries to retire, Vince won't let him" angle (with different characters, of course), then they did it. I think it's more a coincidence than anything, though, because those two occurrances were really close together.

Indeed they did. Then they forgot about it. Then Rosey became Hurricane's sidekick by... uh... kicking Hurricane's ass, then deciding that he hated Teddy Long and Rodney Mack and becoming the sidekick of the man he beat. Yeah.

... I very much want to see that. Looks hilarious.

Ohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigod. I didn't think it'd actually happen... wow. Here's hoping London gets a good reign. Oh, and that Kidman guy too.