Adam

* DING DING DING * BUFFER The following contest is the unsanctioned loser leaves town match for the tag team championship of the world! When the bell rings the referees in charge of the action are senior official Earl Hebner and Nick Patrick. Are you ready? Wrestling fans, ARE...YOU...RRRREADY? Then for the thousands in attendence here at the beautiful Trump Plaza and Casino... ladies and gentlemen, LLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRUMBLLLLLE! The lights go funky as "Heart-Shaped Box" begins blaring over the loud speakers. The arrival of Synth and Logan, clad in black jeans and Las Vegas Outlaws jerseys, sparks a big pop for the duo looking to fullfill a promise they made to their publicst and girlfriend of Logan Mann -- win the tag team championship. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers...from Sin City, here is the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time, the 2006 Anderson Cup champions... the HEAVENLYYYYYY RRRROOOOOOOCKERRRRSSSS! COLE The Heavenly Rockers come into this match with heavy hearts. For the past year they have been subjected to abuse from the New New Midnight Express and Jim Cornette. It all stems from when Jim Cornette conned the Heavenly Rockers into signing J.C.E. with promises of tag title shots, cross-promotion with various media outlets just so he could suck them dry of the riches they were pulling in from their records. It was also with the urging of Jim Cornette that he got the Heavenly Rockers to fire Holly-Wood, the one person who saw through his lies. When the Heavenly Rockers finally found out the truth about J.C.E. they and Holly managed to patch things up. That's when it really got heated between the two sides, a war that will end tonight with the loser leaving the OAOAST. COACH And it won't get any easier for whomever comes out on top because the Sooner Bruisers, the Anderson Cup runner-up, have already challenged the winner. It should be them here tonight, not the Heavenly Rockers. CABOOSE Let's not get into that again, Coach. But I do concur with your statement, the Sooner Bruisers deserve a title match. A small pop goes up in the air as "Chase" hits, which immediately is overwhelmed by the venom those in attendence hold for the 3 men making their way to the ring. His trademark tennis racket in one hand, the guitar his team took from Holly-Wood's home on the other, Jim Cornette leads Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned to the ring, both of whom are also in street clothes for this unsanctioned match. BUFFER And their opponents...being led to the ring by their manager, the legendary James E. Cornette... the World tag team champions, the NEW NEW MID-NIGHT EXXXXXPRESSSSSS! Simon and Ned stop near ringside to remove their championship belts, exchanging words with the Heavenly Rockers in the process. Once the belts are removed their attempts to enter the ring are stalled as Synth and Logan wait with smiles on their faces, pysching the champions out. Jim Cornette calls his boys down for a team meeting, concluding with a chant of "champs" on 3. Simon and Ned again stop before entering the ring as the Heavenly Rockers still have that sinister smile etched on their faces, drawing the ire of fans quickly tiring of the champions stall tatics, which plays right into the hands of the NNMX as they use the opportunity to jaw with irate fans ringside. The referee outside, Nick Patrick, tells Simon and Ned it's time to get it going but they ignore his request. Having had enough, an impatient "Wild Child" Logan Mann runs up the turnbuckles and hammers Ned Blanchard with a double axe-handle smash from the top to the arena floor! Logan pumpels Blanchard until Simon pulls him off and throws him up against the guardrail. Simon turns to the ring to search for a weapon and gets wasted by a SUICIDE DIVE from Synth, sending the Sultan of Sarcasm stumbling over the body of Logan! Now back on his feet Ned subjects Logan to a stomping, kicking him right in the heart. Logan fights back, grabbing Ned's leg and after returning to his feet drives Blanchard into the edge of the ring apron, where he proceeds to wail away on the Handsome Hustler. In the aisleway, Simon and Synth brawl themselves, whipping each other into the guardrails. Leaned up against the rail with Simon's right hand around his throat, Synth jabs a fan's Los Diablos "devil horn" mask into the eye of Simon and slams him on the thin piece of carpeting on the arena floor. Just feet away Ned and Logan are involved in a heated slugfest, punching and chopping each other wildly, with the Wild Child getting the best of the Handsome Hustler. The roar of the crowd gets louder and louder as Mann beats Blanchard all the way down to the seat of his pants. Those roars turn into concern as Jim Cornette BLASTS Logan with the RACKET! But the adrenaline flowing through Mann's body absords the blow. Logan dramatically whips his head around and stares Cornette directly in the eyes, causing James E. to just about wet his pants as Logan chases him around the ring. COLE Get him, Logan! COACH How can you say that? James E. isn't apart of the match. He's just a poor defenseless manager. CABOOSE With a tennis racket as a weapon. Down the stretch they come, James E. in the lead but Logan closing in fast. Cornette rounds the corner and hides behind Ned, who, having removed his BELT, clotheslines Logan with his belt and begins CHOKING him out with it. Ned then wraps the belt around his fist and gets ready to drive the point of the buckle into the head of Mann when Synth pulls him off and rams him face-first into the STEEL STEPS! Again. And again! Synth panders to the crowd as he looks to send Ned into the steps a fourth time, but it's he who gets sent into the steel, smacking his head on the RINGPOST following a Sarcastic Simon running knee to the back. Simon scoopes a BLOODY Synth up and tosses him inside the squared circle. Ned, positioned outside, holds the Synthmeister's right arm out as Simon drives the knee into the outstretched arm! COLE Synth writhing in pain as the tag team champions focus now switches to that twice broken arm. COACH The Heavenly Rockers wanted it this way. They made such a big deal about spilling the blood of Sarcastic Simon's and the Handsome Hustler's and who's the one bleeding? Here's a hint: it ain't Simon or Ned, baby boy. Simon paint-brushes the bloody Synthemeister before he and Ned send him off to the ropes, taking him over with a double hip toss into short-arm scissors. They crank back on the arms, laughing at the painful agony Synth is experiencing while Jim Cornette tells the timekeeper to ring the bell. Vince McMahon he isn't, as the timekeeper refuses to do so. In addition to that, while his back is turned, James E. misses Logan crash down onto both Midnights with a springboard crossbody! CABOOSE We may have a double pin! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! Logan might not have gotten the pinfall but he's got the next best thing -- he's on top of Ned Blanchard. He peppers the face of the Handsome Hustler with closed fists, even going as far as to BITE him! Simon gets out from under the legs of Logan holds him up for Ned. Blanchard re-wraps the belt around his fist and hits the ropes for added momentum, but hits the wrong man as Logan torques his head to the left and it's Simon who gets drilled in the face with the point of the buckle! "YEEEAAAHHHHH!" COLE Ned hits his own partner! CABOOSE Who's now a bloody mess himself. If you didn't believe that, you would after we get a close-up of Singleton's bloody face as he crawls to the corner and rests his head on the bottom rope. Blanchard, meanwhile, turns around and gets knocked out by a wicked~ left hook! But instead of going for the pin, Logan wants to hurt the Midnights some more. He summons Synth to pick Simon up as he does the same with Ned, and then they ram the Midnights heads together for a meeting of the minds! The rockstars-turned-wrestlers isolate the Midnights in separate corners and climb onto the second rope as they drive their fists into the skulls of Simon and Ned, teaching the crowd how to count in a Romanian accent! 1... * BLAH * 2... * BLAH * 3... * BLAH * 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! And for those who love to take a walk on the darkside, Synth bites the bloody forehead of Simon and gets blooded splattered all over his mouth and chin. Then licks it off! Ewwwwww! The Midnights fall to their knees and continue to get the shit beaten out of them, with Logan telling Ned "I'm gonna make you bleed, bitch!" But he won't get the chance to at this time, as Ned grabs the top of his jeans and throws Mann out to the floor. Logan tries to quickly slide back in, but a vicious kick in the face knocks him back out to the floor. With Synth still hammering Simon to a bloody pulp, Ned runs up behind the Synthmeister and nails him with the 90210 enzurigi! Blanchard exits the ring as Simon makes the cover, a weak drape of the arm across the chest. ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! While Synth and Simon are down in the ring, Ned unleashes hell on Logan, whipping him so hard into the guardrail it flips Mann into the crowd! Security storm the area to keep the fans at bay as Ned climbs over the railing and clotheslines Mann to the ground. He takes a sip out of a fan's -- female, FYI -- beers and spills the rest on Logan, arrogantly kicking him upside the head. As he seemingly gets off on what he's seeing, the Handsome Hustler smiles as he scoopes Logan up and suplexes him on the concrete floor! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! A big cheer goes up inside Trump Plaza as Logan gets his shoulder up before Nick Patrick's hand slaps the concrete a third time. The belt still wrapped around Blanchard's hand, Ned cradles Logan's head and repeatedly drives the fist into the face of Mann, busting him open from the point of the buckle to the head. COACH Baby! Baby! Baby! Guess who's bleeding now? Need a hint? Logan Mann, kiddo. COLE The Handsome Hustler has drawn first blood on Wild Child. What's going on inside the ring, you ask? The longest chokehold known to man. Singleton finally breaks to remove the turnbuckle pad in the corner, where he tries to ram Synth into the steel bolt, but Synth puts up the boot and blocks it. Simon is about to go in face-first when he responds with an elbow strike to the ribs, then smashes Synth's arm down on the steel bolt! The Synthmeister goes down in a heap, clutching the arm. Outside, Logan is sent into the guardrail with such force the railing pops open. The security already down there do a great job in blocking off the area so it doesn't become the Texas/Mexico border. Blanchard picks up the busted guardrail and slams it across the back of Mann. Simon calls for his partner to toss him a CHAIR, and Ned does just that, but overshoots Simon and the chair falls into the hands of Synth! Synth jabs the chair into the midsection of Singleton and front facelocks the head for a DDT, but Simon drives him into the exposed corner and brings him back out, hitting the single-arm DDT he calls DIVORCE COURT ON THE STEEL CHAIR! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! Simon puts his hands on his head in frustration. What more can I do, he's thinking. Jim Cornette can't believe it either, taking out his disbelief on Earl Hebner, saying that was a slow count. Ned sets the guardrail up against the ring apron outside, throwing Logan into it and grinding his bloody face into the rusty railing. Simon has his own little thing going on inside the ring, using the athletic tape around his wrists to tie Synth to the top rope. Fortunately for Synth, his squirming around prevents Simon from taping both hands to the rope, giving him some sort of defense as Simon tries to bash his skull with the chair. Back out on the floor, Ned has grabbed ahold of another chair and with Logan lying on the guardrail swings for the fences, but Mann moves and the reverberation from steel hitting steel causes Ned to drop the chair and shake off the fingers. In the ring, Simon gets in a few jabs before hitting the ropes and charging at Synth with the chair cocked, only for Synth to low his shoulder and BACKDROP SIMON OVER THE TOP AND ONTO THE GUARDRAIL OUTSIDE!!! COLE That's the damnest Slip 'n' Slide I've ever seen. Sarcastic Simon sliding down the guardrail after being backdropped from the ring. Oh, my! Synth frees his taped hand from the ropes as Ned sprints around the ring and enters from Synth's blindside, clotheslining the Synthmeister as he turns around. Blanchard celebrates his feat when he, too, is leveled by a clothesline as he turns around, causing the Handsome Hustler to 360 in the air! Logan quickly picks Ned up and sets him on the top turnbuckle, going up to the second rope himself. But just as Logan places Blanchard in a front facelock, Simon clubs him from behind and delivers a back suplex. Ned straddles the turnbuckle, resting, as Simon attempts to brand his footprint on Mann's chest. Synth shows Simon he isn't the only one who can sneak up on somebody, sending Simon on another trip over the top rope. Simon didn't land on anything guardrail this time, but he does get walloped by a CORKSCREW PLANCHA! Jim Cornette waddles over and bashes the racket across the back of the Synthmeister, taking care of him for the time being. Meanwhile, Blanchard and Mann are about ready to get physcial again, as both men shake off the cobwebs as they rise up. Perched on the middle turnbuckle, the Handsome Hustler times his leap perfectly and jumps off as Logan turns to face him...and gets caught coming down in a bearhug! Logan slingshots Ned to the corner, where Blanchard strikes his head on the ringpost! Ned staggers out of the corner towards the center of the ring, jelly-legged and all. Logan hits the near side and grabs the back of Blanchard's head, driving him to the corner and RAMMING NED'S FACE INTO THE EXPOSED STEEL TURNBUCKLE BOLT as he leaps over the top rope onto the apron Randy "Macho Man" Savage style! "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COACH Oh, no! Ned is bleeding! COLE And boy, is he bleeding. CABOOSE It's like a fountain of blood. Ned's blond hair quickly turns crimson red as the blood continues to pour out of his forehead. Logan remains in the corner, watching with the rest of those in attendence as Ned struggles to get up, an evil glee in his eyes. Suddenly, Mann falls flat on his face. The camera pulls out to reveal Simon holding onto Logan's legs. Every male watching winces in unison as Simon pulls Logan's legs in, crotching him in the ringpost! Cornette helps Singleton place the ring steps to his liking, removing the top deck and placing the bottom deck near the timekeeper's table, then hops up on the apron himself. COLE What's Cornette doing? CABOOSE So much for him being a "poor, defenseless manager," eh, Coach? He's been getting involved throughout the match. COACH Can you blame him, 'Boosey? The man has got A LOT to lose. The fans rise as one after Simon slams Logan on the steel steps and climbs up to the top. With Cornette serving as the launcher, he blasts Simon off the top and down onto...THE STEEL STEPS!!! COACH DAYUM~! COLE Synth moved Logan out of the way! Synth decks Cornette and steps inside the ring, pulling himself up onto the middle turnbuckle as Ned remains down mid-ring. SECOND ROPE ELBOW DROP! COACH Oh, my God! No! ONE... TWO... THREE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH! COLE He kicked out. Blanchard kicked out! How did he do it? The man has lost a lot of blood; he may have a concussion as well. CABOOSE Everything is on the line -- pride, money, the tag titles and their careers. It's a tough sport, but I fear for these men. Nobody is going to go down easily. Perhaps to the death. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE What's this?! COACH Back-up power, baby boy! The SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA and SHYANNE hit the ring and attack the Heavenly Rockers. Cornette jumps for joy on the outside, a new lease on life for his Midnights. Having been involved in a grueling fight, Synth and Logan are no match for a fresh SCM. Cornette pyschs his boys up as the SCM beat the stuffing out of the Heavenly Rockers with slapjacks. Vincent scrapes Logan off the mat and holds him up for Marcellus, who cocks his slapjack back... "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" ...only to run into the SOONER BRUISERS! The Sooners and SCM duke it out in the ring until the action spills out on the floor and into the crowd. With Logan down on a knee, his back turned from the action, Jim Cornette sneaks up behind Mann with his TENNIS RACKET in hand. The crowd ERUPTS again as HOLLY-WOOD sprints into the ring and KICKS CORNY IN THE GROIN AND GIVES HIM A DDT! COLE Holly! Holly! Holly! COACH What's she doing out here? This is no place for a woman. Holly kicks James E. out of the ring and looks to exit herself, but bumps into Shyanne. The two have a super staredown, each calling the other every name in the book. But it's Shyanne who makes the first move, shoving Holly back. Holly returns favor. Shyanne steps back and takes a swing at Holly, but Holly catches the hand and spends Shyanne around, giving her a PILEDRIVER! COLE Oh, yeah! Payback is a bitch, bitch! The crowd loves what they've just seen, but Holly isn't out of trouble yet. Now she's face to face with Ned and Simon, blood running down their faces and stained on their denim jeans. Not taking any shit from anybody, Holly takes a swing at Ned but Simon grabs her arm and holds her up for Ned. Blanchard verbally abuses her, saying all the carnage and blood spilled is the fault of nobody but her. Ned RIPS Holly's shirt open, exposing her diamond-studded bra, and wipes the blood off his face with it. If the verbal abuse and the tearing of her shirt wasn't bad enough, it's about to get worse as Ned forcefully opens Holly's mouth and is about to stick that blood-stained shirt into it when Logan jumps on his back, taking Ned down to the mat where he drives his face into it, trying to give Blanchard mat burn and a possible staph infection by rubbing it violently into the mat. Simon repeatedly clubs Logan in the back of neck, but all the anger and adreanline running threw his body absords the blows (like earlier). Cornette tosses in the loaded racket and... * BOOM * ...that gets the job done. "Finishing Mann up in front of her," Cornette shouts. Simon and Ned nod their nods having received the order to finish Logan once and for all. And they plan on finishing it with a bang, a DOUBLE DDT. They hook the head and in one last act of arrogance, glance over at Holly with smiles on their faces. DDT... NO!!! Synth springboards off the top as spikes both Midnights into the canvas with a DOUBLE BULLDOG! The Midnights get up groggy, which explains why they walk into a pair of DDTs from the Heavenly Rockers!!! COLE Oh, they got it! ONE... TWO... THREE! NO!!! COACH HOLY SHIT! THEY KICKED OUT!? That just about sucked the air out of the entire arena. Nobody can believe Simon and Ned kicked out. Only the handful of NNMX supporters can be heard. Logan's like, fuck this shit, and sets Ned up for another DDT, but Blanchard somehow manages to find the strength to ram Logan back into the corner. Ned is like a drunk man walking out on a busy highway as he staggers into the direction of an incoming Synthmeister, who gets caught coming in with a kick to the midsection followed by a botched spinning neckbreaker that results in a modified STUNNER, drawing a large pop because of Ned's striking resemblance to Steve Austin. Blanchard pops up still in a confused state and again gets lucky, HOT SHOTTING a charging Logan Mann and falling right on top of him. COLE Oh, my! The Heavenly Rockers thrist for vengeance may have just come back to bite them. ONE... TWO... THREE...NO!!!! All 4 men are out of it, breathing heavily as they lay in the ring. The only person standing is Holly-Wood, as Jim Cornette remains down from her DDT outside. Amazingly, Ned and Logan are the first to stir and eventually get up to their feet. They stagger around with stars looming over their heads as they bump into each other. They turn and after a brief dramatic staredown, re-engage in an all-out slugfest to a loud roar. COLE Not much left to their punches, but the fact they're still coming at each other strong is incredible. Their hate outweighs their physcial limits. Ned momentarily stuns Logan with a thumb to the eye, long enough for him to take Mann to the ropes and set him up for a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX from the inside out onto the guardrail leaned up against the ring apron! Ned tries getting Logan up, the fatigue is heavy at this point. Ned tires again to no avail. He connects with a series of rabbit-punches before attempting the suplex a third time, only for Holly-Wood to reclaim possession of Spirit, the guitar Ned took from her home, and jab the handle into the groin of Ned's! Logan then steps out on the apron and hits a piledriver on the railing, sending he and Blanchard sliding down. "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" COLE Mann with the cover! ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING * CABOOSE The New New Midnight Express are no more! COACH I can't believe it! COLE Well believe it, because it happened and happened at AngleMania V. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, history has been made. The winners and NEW OAOAST tag team champions of the world... the HEAVENLYYYYYY RRRROOOOOOOCKERRRRSSSS! "Heart-Shaped Box" cues up as Holly and Synth help Logan up. Synth goes to get the belts and Spirit from referee Earl Hebner as Holly and Logan share an emotional hug and kiss. Synth hands Logan his title belt, who proudly holds it up before putting it and Holly up on the apron. He rolls into the ring after asking Michael Buffer for the microphone. LOGAN Cut the music. There's something I wanna say. First off, I wanna thank our fans for standing by us each and every step of the way. I know that when we first showed up, we weren't the coolest kids on the block. Hell, we were assholes. But after a while we changed our tune, and you picked up what were putting down. Since then, you've been by our side, when things were at their best, and when things were at their worst. Thank you for that. It's been a long, grueling road to the promise land. We've just been through hell, but finally having these belts in our hands feels like a little piece of heaven. It made all the blood, the sweat and tears worth it. We didn't just win the tag belts for us, but for our fans as well. And there's one special fan Synth and I would like to thank, especially yours truly, "Wild Child" Logan Mann. And that's Holly-Wood! Baby, you stood by me when you could've gone your own way. When Blanchard and Singleton got personal I wouldn't have blamed you if you had decided to run off and never be heard from again. God, I don't know if I could've been as strong as you under the circumstances. But you didn't run and for that the Sythmeister and I thank you. You're so amazing. These belts are as much yours as they are ours. Without you, we don't exist. Without you, we're covering Motley Crue songs in a biker bar in Fresno. You're the heart that keeps our music pumping. You're the heart that keeps my soul alive. And not only did we keep our promises to you, girl, but we also got Spirit back. Yeah, we got spirit, yes we do. We got spirit, how 'bout you?! "YEEEAAAHHHHHH!" Outside the ring, officials help Ned up and escort him, Simon and Jim Cornette to the back. LOGAN I'm a bit tired, but there's one last thing I gotta do. Over a year ago Holly became our publicst and eventually my girlfriend. In that year we've been through a lotta ups and downs, but we stuck together. Now it's time for us to be stuck together FOREVER! That line grabs everybody's attention, particularly Holly's, especially when Logan gets down on a knee to everyone's surprise. COACH Is--Is he gonna propose? Is Logan low enough to propose in front of Holly's real true love, Ned? CABOOSE Pipe down. COLE All right, Logan! LOGAN Holly... Holly... COLE Do it, Logan. Say it. Ask her the question. LOGAN (CONT'D) ... Will you marry me? COLE He did it! COLE & CABOOSE CABOOSE Attaboy, Mann. On the verge of tears Holly nods his her head and says... HOLLY YES! COLE & CABOOSE SHE SAID YES!! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" "Heart-Shaped Box" cues up once more with a hug and a kiss from Holly. The two then hug Synth, who playfully hits Logan on the shoulder, lip readers able to tell he said "I can't believe you actually had the balls, bro." The cameras pan around to various woman crying, some kissing their boyfriends, and even Randy Savage twirling his index finger. COLE What a night! We have new tag team champions and an in-ring marriage proposal. This is what makes our job so great. CABOOSE And we still have the Alfdogg vs. Peter Knight for the World Title and Two for the Money coming up next, Cole. COACH Yeah, let's talk about that because The Coach can't take anymore of this puppy love crap. COLE What a Main Event it should be guys, Alf looking to take back his belt, Peter Knight looking to keep his glory. Should be awesome. But now, we've got a great tag match coming up for you. Wait, we actually have an interview then the match. The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room where we see a close-up of a drawing of Tha Puerto Rican doing the Corporate Eyebrow with sunglasses on. The camera zooms out to reveal that "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is in the room looking at the drawing. The crowd boos loudly. PRL is holding his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder, and is wearing his usual Corporate attire of Puerto Rican flag bandana, sunglasses, earring on his left ear, white dress shirt, red tie, black sports jacket, $500 Rolex watch on his left hand, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. PRL has a smile on his face while looking at the picture. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Yeah, I like it. Real nice. Real nice. Got the Corporate Eyebrow. The Corporate Sunglasses. My handsome face has been forever immortalized in this picture. I love it! Suddenly, an OAOAST crew member bursts into the room. CREW MEMBER Exscue me, Puerto, you have a-- THA PUERTO RICAN What the hell are you doing here? Don't you have any matters? You're supposed to knock first, you jabroni! Jesus. CREW MEMBER Sorry PR, but-- PRL But nothing! Now get your candy ass out of my room! CREW MEMBER (scared for his life) Uh...okay P.R. THA PUERTO RICAN Yeah, and go fix Tha Puerto Rican a sammich. No cheese. CREW MEMBER (OFF SCREEN) Yes sir. Tha Puerto Rican goes back to admiring the drawing. Just then, there's a knock at the door. PRL is annoyed. THA PUERTO RICAN Now what? Come in! The door opens, and it's the OAOAST's resident metrosexual interviewer Josh "J. Math" Matthews with a mic in his right hand and an interview on his mind. Josh nervously walks up to the Corporate 24/7 Champion. JOSH MATTHEWS Uh...P.R. Can we get an interview at this time? PRL Sure. Sure. Go ahead. JOSH MATTHEWS Uh, okay. Well, Puerto, you must feel pretty confident coming into tonight's Ladder Match. Many people say over the past few weeks that you've PWNED Leon Rodez. Your match with him at Zero Hour went to a draw when the 15 minute time limit ran out. You gave him the Corporate Nightmare and pinned him to win the Latino Thug Street Fight three weeks ago. And then this past Thursday on HeldDOWN~!, you may have pushed him a little too far. PRL smiles evilly, since he knows where Josh is going with this. J. MATH Let us take you back to what happened last Thursday on HeldDOWN~!. Leon Rodez was in the ring, speaking on the mic, and you interrupted him. This led to a brawl between The Lightning Crew, the former members of The Lightning Crew, Otaku II, and Leon Rodez. Things were going Rodez and his friends way, but then you AMBUSHED Leon Rodez. The OAOAST AngleMania V logo flashes across the screen. We cut to HeldDOWN~! last Thursday night during the big brawl between The Lightning Crew, Leon Rodez, Otaku II, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and John "Rock Hard" Brickston. We see a freeze frame of "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican about to hit Leon Rodez in the back of his surgically repaired right knee with his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt. A circle is drawn over Leon's right knee just as he is about to get hit with PR's belt. The circle remains as we see PR hitting Leon's surgically repaired right knee with his 24/7 Title belt. JOSH (V.O.) You caught him from behind. You hit him with your belt to the back of the knee, that surgically repaired right knee, taking Leon Rodez out, obviously hurting his knee. And then to make matters worst, you and The Lightning Crew took the ladder that was standing in the ring, placed it on the mat, took Leon's right leg and placed it in between the ladder, and then slammed the ladder onto the right knee, hurting it even more. We see footage of what Josh just described. MATTHEWS You may have given yourself the advantage as you get set for your Ladder Match tonight. Now my question to you P.R. is this: you must feel pretty good about yourself. This is your biggest title defense tonight. What are you thinking about? THA PUERTO RICAN Well Tha Puerto Rican is thinking about slapping the yellow off of ya teeth if you keep asking stupid questions. The fact of the matter is this...hold that microphone up jabroni before Tha Puerto Rican sticks that microphone where the sun don't shine! PRL turns his attention directly to the camera. PUERTO RICAN Leon Rodez, you donkey raping shit eater. You one legged man, you have as much of a chance at beating me tonight, as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest! Wait a minute. I just realized something. That analogy came true. You ARE a one legged man, and while this is not an ass kicking contest, Tha Puerto Rican IS going to kick your candy ass all over the Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center! The crowd boos. PRL (CONT'D) Leon Rodez, tonight you go one-on-one with the Corporate One. And your monkey ass is going to be made famous, compliments of PRL! I want to know exactly how you're going to climb the Corporate Ladder and reach for Tha Puerto Rican's 24/7 gold with just one leg. Tonight, Leon Rodez, you're going to pay for what you've said about Tha Puerto Rican. That Tha Puerto Rican is a joke. That Tha Puerto Rican isn't as good as you. That Tha Puerto Rican has been lucky to hold the 24/7 Title for almost one year. Tonight, at the Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center in Atlantic City, New Jersey, Tha Puerto Rican is going to go out there and do what he does best, and that's lay the smackdown on your roody poo-- CROWD CANDY ASS! PRL (annoyed) Uh-uh! No! No! No! You don't do that! Leon Rodez, tonight, in front of the millions and millions of The Lightning Bolts, Tha Puerto Rican GUARAN-DAMN-TEES that he is going to prove that he IS the Corporate Champ. Tha Puerto Rican IS the greatest Puerto Rican athlete of all-time. And Tha Puerto Rican IS, without a shadow of a doubt, the most electrifying man in professional wrestling, and Tha Puerto Rican IS the best damn One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion there ever was and there ever will be! THE CHAMP HAS-- CROWD SPO-KUN~!!! PRL glares angrily at the camera. THA PUERTO RICAN Atlantic City, this is not sing-along with Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican says it himself! The crowd boos. PRL takes a deep breath. THA PUERTO RICAN THE CHAMP...HAS...SPO-KUN~!!! PRL does the Corporate Eyebrow. JOSH MATTHEWS Well thanks P.R. Now back to Triple C-- "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" SHUT UP! Back to the jabronies at ringside! Tha Puerto Rican smiles a real good bullshit smile. The smile then turns into a sneer, followed by the Corporate Eyebrow. The crowd boos loudly. CABOOSE I guess he means you and Coach. COLE Yeah. I bet.

In the beginning, there was an imaginary beltshot. JR: Good Evening, BAH GAWD, and Welcome to AngleMania! I HHH get's to his feet and kicks AS to the gut to set up the Pedigree once again! AS counter's and grabs HHH's leg and locks on the AngleLock! HHH refuses to tap saying he'll never job to AS! Chris Jericho appears through the crowd and tells the Time Keeper to ring the bell! * DINGDINGDING! * The Crowd go ApeShit! Medal plays as Jericho spits on the crying HHH and leaves! Fink-'The winner of the Match and NEEEWWWWWWWWWW One & Only AngleSault Thread HeavyWeight Champion of the World, AngleSault!!!!!!!!!'. AS picks up the Belt and stares at it and starts to cry! The aWo return to the ring and lay a beating on HHH who has curled into the foetus position and is sucking his thumb! The aWo spray 'aWo 4-Life, Just 2 Olympic For You!' on HHH! II ...Zack kicks (Anglesault) with his good leg, and hops over his back with a sunset flip...ANGLESAULT ROLLS THROUGH...He's got Zack by both legs...CATAPULT OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE...NO! NO! ZACK SKINS THE CAT! Anglesault sees this and grabs him...ANGLE SLAM...NO! NO! ZACK slips out, LANDING ON ONLY HIS LEFT LEG! ZACK LANDED ON ONE LEG! Kick to the gut...POP DROP! POP DROP! ZACK MALIBU COVERS! 1... 2... 3! III Calvin stands up, kicking at Zack, stomping, whatever, yelling "why won't you DIE!" to his most hated opponent. He picks Zack up, then quickly grabs the arm, taking Zack to the mat as if he were Chris Benoit looking for a crossface, but before he can get a good grip on the arm, Malibu somersaults forward, dodging the potential submission, and as Calvin gets up to grab him.... ...SCHOOL'S OUT ON CALVIN STOPS HIM DEAD IN HIS TRACKS~! Malibu collapses across Calvin's body, not even able to hook a leg, as this cover is purely out of desperation! Earl Hebner slaps the canvas, as the crowd counts along... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! BUFFER (faint) Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...and the NEW...WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUU~! IV COLE No way! He just hit one Axel Slam! Is he going for -- Sure enough, with Drek now basically out cold on his shoulders, Axel jumps up -- AND SPIKES THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION INTO THE MAT WITH A SECOND CONSECUTIVE AXEL SLAM! COLE CHAIN AXEL SLAMS! CABOOSE Wait! Come on! This can’t be it! IT CAN’T BE IT! With Drek out cold on the mat, Axel rolls him over and hooks the leg. The fans scream wildly with the referee as he counts! ONNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!~! TWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO~!~! THRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!~! *DING! DING! DING!* “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” The roar rising up from the crowd is monstrous as the bell rings, signifying the Drek Stone title reign has finally come to an end. COLE HE DID IT! HE DID IT! AXEL HAS DID IT! V The screen fades... to a shot of Peter Knight and Alfdogg, face to face. Voiceovers from the two men follow as their feud is shown in flashes. PK I will stop at nothing to keep what's mine. ALF I'm taking my belt back. PK Alf, tonight is MY AngleMania moment. ALF You won't be as lucky as you were on HeldDown. PK I'm gonna finish your career Alf. ALF We'll see who's holding the belt at the end. THE VOICE~! suddenly greets us. "So it has come to this. One night every year, a legend is born. In this, the fifth year, will that legend be brand new... ...or reborn? We will find out... Right Now! RIGHT NOW! C'mon, it's everything RIGHT NOW, Catch a magic moment, do it Right here and now It means everything And Now... The One And Only AngleSault Presents... ANGLEMANIA FIVE!!!!! BOOOOM!BOOOOOMMM!!!BOOOOOMMM!!!!BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!! A pretty display of pyro says hello as the JAM PACKED Trump Plaza lights up to welcome the biggest e-fed sporting event of the year. The camera pans around the crowd, while Tony Schiavone's voice greets us. SCHIAVONE Good evening and welcome everyone to AngleMania FIVE! Tony Schiavone here under the AngleTron along with Jesse 'The Body' Ventura, and a very special guest to kick it off, Jesse! JESSE That's right Tony, I've been critical of this man in the past, but I can tell you, he's put on a hell of a show tonight, the boss, the General Manager, Axel! AXEL CRIKEY! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF IT! *all three laugh in a contrived, Million Dollar Man way* SCHIAVONE Axel, its going to be a hell of a night, and you'd be hoping for a good one for your good friend, OAOAST Champion Peter Knight. AXEL PK's ready guys, he's trained his ass off for this night. It was my moment last year, its time for Peter to have his moment. If some guys would step into the background and let these youngers stars have the spotlight, then the world would be a better place. But now's not the time for anti-Alfdogg sentiments, that will all come after the show! JESSE We've got some amazing matches coming up Axel, the Twenty-Four Seven belt is on the line, Leon Rodez challenges Tha Puerto Rican in a ladder match. AXEL Well you know PR's been a good champion, he's defended that belt against some tough competition. John Brickson, Spanish Fly, he's shown that if you put your mind to it, if you're smart about it, you can be a long term champion. Should be a tough battle. SCHIAVONE And what about the Tag Titles, The Heavenly Rockers against the New New Midnight Express! AXEL *puzzled* Whats a tag division? JESSE Okay... moving along, Two For the Money. AXEL No comment. SCHIAVONE And, finally, we have to ask you about the big tag... JESSE Shut your cakehole, Tony! I've been wanting to ask this for weeks. Axel, tonight, Black T take on the returning Drek Stone and Hoff. We know you had something to do with the contracts. We know you're behind the scenes here. We know you're somehow responsible. What are your thoughts? Axel looks at Jesse, before stroking his goatee for a second. He brings the mic to his lips... ...and FLOORS Jesse with it! SCHIAVONE WOAH! WAIT A SECOND! AXEL That enough of an answer for you? Don't badger me into a response you no good son of a bitch! I'll talk when I'm damn good and ready, and that might be sooner than you think. Enjoy AngleMania. Axel throws down the mic and leaves Jesse holding his head, and Tony flabbergasted. SCHIAVONE I.. I'm not sure what to say here guys! That was uncalled for, and we still don't have answers! Now I've got to cross to Sofa Central, where Michael Cole is standing by! *CUT TO SOFA CENTRAL* COLE Thanks Tony, and we now know how to agitate the GM. COACH He shouldn't have to answer any questions like that! Thats business! CABOOSE Oh bullshit... and I can say that, BECAUSE THIS IS ANGLEMANIA BAYBAY!!!! COLE Thats right 'Boose, AngleMania Five! Live from the Trump Plaza! I'm Michael Cole, he's Coach, and the guy in the facepaint is Caboose, former two-time OAOAST World Champion! We're ready, we hope you are too! KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* COLE And here we go with the opening match at AngleMania V! “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. The crowd stands up and boos loudly. Vitamin X comes out, doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, pumping the crowd up. Right behind him is Mr. Boricua, who grunts, snorts, and cracks his knuckles. Dollar signs are superimposed over the steps and the aisle. VX smirks at the crowd, and then high fives Mr. Boricua. Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X walk down the steps, X bobbing his head to “Bling-Bling”. Vitamin X also does some bad dancing. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the opening contest, here at AngleMania V, is scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute time limit. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by the bodyguard of The Lightning Crew Mr. Boricua. From Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 248 lbs. He is the Financial Consultant for The Lightning Crew. VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! Vitamin X jaws with the fans as he walks down the aisle. VX is wearing yet another custom made jersey. This time, it’s a yellow soccer jersey with red stripes and VX written on the sleeves in red cursive font. VITAMIN X is written on the front in cursive, and there is also black tape on the front, with COLOMBIAN HACK written on it. On the back of the jersey, YO! is written on top of the jersey in red, the AngleMania V logo is in the center, and I JUST BEAT THE HEAT! is written underneath it also in red. APRIL 2, 2006 is written underneath that. X is also wearing black elbowpads, black sweatpants, and black Reeboks. COACH What a great way to start AngleMania V! The X-Man, Vitamin X is set to make his AngleMania debut taking on that piece of lower class filth, Colombian Heat! COLE Vitamin X is set to finally go one-on-one with the man whose life he has made a living hell since Anglepalooza, Colombian Heat. Vitamin X hates everything about Colombian Heat, and I’m sure Heat has no love for Vitamin X either. CABOOSE Colombian Heat has bitched and complained and moaned about being screwed by Vitamin X at Anglepalooza. Vitamin X didn’t screw Colombian Heat. Colombian Heat screwed Colombian Heat! If he had only pay attention to Tha Puerto Rican, he wouldn’t have gotten pinned and lost his chance to become 24/7 Champion. Vitamin X had nothing to do with that. Vitamin X hops onto a turnbuckle. He crosses his arms in an X, drawing more boos. Vitamin X hops off the turnbuckle. He high fives Mr. Boricua, who has also entered the ring. COLE Vitamin X had plenty to do with that! Colombian Heat had the match won! He gave Tha Puerto Rican the Colombian Necktie, and then pinned him to become 24/7 Champion, but Vitamin X revealed that Thomas Rodriguez wasn’t an official OAOAST Referee, so the decision did not count! That was all Vitamin X! He said it himself. He put the bullet in the gun, and Stephen Joseph pulled the trigger. He hates Colombian Heat and that was his way of messing with him! Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua stand close to the ropes. A spotlight shines on the both of them. Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua look at each other, and then do The Lightning Crew Salute, drawing more boos. VX taunts the crowd and points to his shirt, saying, “Colombian HACK! Colombian HACK!” CABOOSE Well, it’s not like Colombian Heat deserved to be 24/7 Champion. He’s a HACK. He’s Colombian HACK. And tonight, at AngleMania V, the biggest show of the year, Colombian HACK is going to get his ass kicked by the jungle cat, the X-Man, Vitamin X! Vitamin X is going to extinguish the Heat once and for all! The lights go back in the arena. Vitamin X raises his arms out triumphantly, confident of a victory tonight at his first AngleMania. He does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle once again and bounces off the ropes. Mr. Boricua applauds Vitamin X. He high fives him. COLE Well, he’s going to have to rely on his talent to beat Colombian Heat tonight. CABOOSE Vitamin X can beat Colombian Heat with one hand tied behind his back. He’s ready for this match. He has to be. It’s AngleMania! I also like the fact that he’s got Mr. Boricua there. Mr. Boricua on his own can kick Spanish Fly, John “Rock Hard” Brickston, Leon Rodez, and Otaku II’s asses. Now Vitamin X won’t have to worry about any of Colombian Heat’s friends making an appearance. Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle staring at the entrance. Mr. Boricua is still in the ring with him. “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. COLE Colombian Heat is about to wrestle at his first AngleMania. A piano plays a melody causing the crowd to cheer loudly. The lights go down in the Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center, turning back on in tune with the melody. DMX COME ON! *BOOM!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The crowd cheers loudly as Colombian Heat runs out onto the entrance stage. Heat raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. Colombian Heat fires up the crowd, pointing to both sides of the Convention Center, and starts walking down the steps. BUFFER And his opponent. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia, but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN— *BAM!* CUBAN WALL and THOMAS RODRIGUEZ attack Colombian Heat from behind! The crowd boos loudly. COLE Hey wait a minute from behind! Cuban Wall and Thomas Rodriguez are attacking Colombian Heat! CABOOSE Hey! Nice! COLE Didn’t they soften Heat enough last Thursday? Do they have to do this? CABOOSE I doubt Vitamin X is complaining! Cuban Wall and Thomas Rodriguez punch Colombian Heat all over his body sending him rolling down the steps. They continue the beating on the aisle, laying into him with their boots, laughing manically. Thomas Rodriguez picks Colombian Heat up and holds him in place. Cuban Wall goes to punch Heat. However, Heat moves out of the way and Wall hits Rodriguez, knocking him down! COACH Oh no! Cuban Wall is shocked, but doesn’t apologize. Colombian Heat grabs Cuban Wall and punches him repeatedly in the face, getting him dazed, and then finishes with a jumping back kick to the jaw knocking Wall down! Thomas Rodriguez gets up again, so Heat punches him, knocking him down! COLE Wall just clocked Rodriguez and Colombian Heat cleans house! With Cuban Wall and Thomas Rodriguez down and out, Colombian Heat turns his attention to Vitamin X who is in the ring, panicking. VITAMIN X Uh-oh. COLOMBIAN HEAT You’re mine now, boy! Colombian Heat runs down the aisle into the ring. COLE And here we go! The opening match of AngleMania V has begun! Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X leave the ring as soon as Colombian Heat enters it. COLE Vitamin X’s first line of defense is down. His plan backfired, and now The X-Man is going to have to fight a 100% healthy Colombian Heat! “Gasolina (Remix)” dies down. Vitamin X stands at ringside with Mr. Boricua while Colombian Heat stands in the ring ready to fight. Vitamin X shows hesitation to get into the ring, and when Colombian Heat lunges forward, X runs to the other side of the ring. COACH Get yourself together, X-Man! Then you come into the ring! Mr. Boricua warns Colombian Heat to stand back, but Heat will have none of that. He wants to attack VX, but referee Nick Patrick holds him back. Vitamin X slowly slides into the ring. COLE I tell you, this is personal. This is not just about what happened at Anglepalooza. This is about Colombian Heat’s way of life vs. Vitamin X’s way of life. Colombian Heat, a product of the streets. Vitamin X thinks that just because he’s made a few million dollars that he can treat people like crap! CABOOSE Now hold on a second. Colombian Heat is a lazy S.O.B. who coasts through life without a care in the world. Vitamin X actually made something with his life and became a multi-millionaire. Both VX and Heat live in Miami, but X lives in a million dollar mansion, while I’m sure Colombian Heat lives in the sleaziest, most ghetto part of the city. If you ask me, Vitamin X should be cheered, not Colombian Heat! COLE Colombian Heat is nice. Colombian Heat is sweet. Colombian Heat has a heart and actually CARES about other people. He may not be rich, but you can’t deny that he has a likeable personality. Money can’t buy you that. CABOOSE Yeah, but money can buy you a lot of things, and that’s the way, Vitamin X, and I, like it! Vitamin X is in the ring. Colombian Heat is ready to fight. Nick Patrick calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* OPENING MATCH GRUDGE MATCH COLOMBIAN HEAT vs. VITAMIN X Vitamin X looks like he is having second thoughts about this match taking place. He looks at Colombian Heat, the crowd, and then at Mr. Boricua. Vitamin X makes some stereotypical karate sounds, and does some faux karate of his own. CABOOSE Colombian Heat is not the only one who knows karate! Vitamin X kicks, punches, and yells…and then slides out of the ring. Colombian Heat slides out also, and chases Vitamin X around ringside. COLOMBIAN HEAT Come here, you lil’ bitch! COLE And the chase is on! CABOOSE Look at the jungle cat go! Vitamin X slides back into the ring, followed by Heat. Colombian Heat goes for a clothesline, but Vitamin X ducks. Heat bounces off the ropes, Vitamin X LEAPFROGS over Colombian Heat and stops to pose. When he turns around, Colombian Heat is waiting, nailing Vitamin X with a spinning heel kick to a pop! COLE Spinning heel kick! Goodnight X! CH waits for Vitamin X to get up. Tired of waiting, Heat grabs X, and throws him into a turnbuckle. Colombian Heat unleashes a combination of punches and chops on Vitamin X’s body. A look of rage appears on Heat’s face as he chokes Vitamin X out. NICK PATRICK That’s it. Break it up. One. Two. Three. Four. Colombian Heat lets go. He starts hammering away on Vitamin X, to the point that Vitamin X’s head hits the bottom turnbuckle. The crowd starts cheering since they know what’s coming up next. Indeed, Colombian Heat heads to the opposite turnbuckle, does the “low-rider” hand gesture, and then charges forward…but at the last second Mr. Boricua pulls Vitamin X out of the ring. Luckily, Colombian Heat stops before he hits the Broncobuster, and instead lands on the bottom turnbuckle! The crowd boos. CABOOSE HA! Beautiful! COLE And Mr. Boricua moved Vitamin X out of the way! Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua walk around ringside. “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* COLE Colombian Heat is getting what he wants, a match one-on-one with Vitamin X at AngleMania. We thought we were going to get that match last week on HeldDOWN~! with the Corporate Street Fight, but The Lightning Crew showed up. Vitamin X walks up the aisle, but is stopped by Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat stomps on Vitamin X, and then whips him into a barricade! Heat grabs X and throws him back into the ring. COLE Where was Vitamin X going? CABOOSE Umm…it’s strategy. That’s what it was. It was strategy! Mr. Boricua punches Colombian Heat in the back! He punches Heat again! Mr. Boricua picks up Colombian Heat and hoists him up…throwing him crotch-first into a ring post! COLE YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-OUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH! CABOOSE Ow! Ow! HA! HA! Great! Colombian Heat drops onto the floor, grabbing his johnson. CABOOSE Have you ever seen anything like that? HA! HA! Colombian Heat lies on the floor in pain. Vitamin X gives Mr. Boricua the thumbs up for that move. Nick Patrick begins his 10 count in the ring. 4… 5… Vitamin X is counting along. 6… 7… 8… 9…. Colombian Heat enters the ring! But Vitamin X is there to meet him with a soccer kick to the stomach! X does another soccer kick to the stomach! VITAMIN X You like that? You like that? CABOOSE Funny, I thought Colombian Heat was the soccer player, not Vitamin X! COLE Both men making their AngleMania debuts, and now Vitamin X is, believe it or not, in control of Colombian Heat. Vitamin X picks up Colombian Heat and throws him into a turnbuckle. VX continues the assault on Heat’s stomach with knees to the gut. He then slaps Heat across the face! COLE What a sign of disrespect! CABOOSE Well, Colombian Heat is a piece of lower class filth after all. Vitamin X pulls Colombian Heat off the turnbuckle. He gives him a snap suplex. VX covers Heat. 1… 2… KICK OUT! VITAMIN X Damn it! Vitamin X chokes Colombian Heat on the mat. He has an evil smile on his face while doing so. Nick Patrick warns X to let go, and he does at the count of 3, but not before giving the ref a dirty look. X picks Colombian Heat up and sends him into another turnbuckle. He goes back to kneeing Colombian Heat in the gut, driving the air out of the former Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew. He slaps Colombian Heat across the face again, dropping him to his knees! COLE Why can’t Vitamin X have a fair fight with Colombian Heat? CABOOSE Why not? Because he doesn’t want to. He can beat Colombian Heat easily, but he chooses not to. He wants to take the easy way out. That’s why. COLE Somehow, I have a hard time believing that. Vitamin X picks up Colombian Heat and whips him into the ropes. And follows…with a Spinebuster? COLE Spinebuster from Vitamin X? CABOOSE Uh-oh! I know where he is going with this! Colombian Heat lies in the middle of the ring. Vitamin X stands over him. He taunts Colombian Heat and then…kicks Heat’s right hand onto his chest. VITAMIN X This is for you, Puerto! The crowd starts booing loudly while Vitamin X removes his right elbowpad, spits on it, and then throws it down onto Colombian Heat’s face. He “smells the electricity”, and then does some weird hand signals, before bouncing off the ropes, jumping over Colombian Heat, and then bouncing off the opposite ropes. CABOOSE It’s now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, the IntenseZone Elbow! COLE Performed by Vitamin X? CABOOSE Yeah! Vitamin X stops to do a SHIMMY~!, before dropping the IntenseZone Elbow…that MISSES! COLE And nobody’s home! CABOOSE Oh no! Vitamin X and Colombian Heat both lie on the mat. Both men start getting up. Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua gets onto the ring apron. Referee Nick Patrick goes over to him to tell him to get off. He must have some big balls to do that. While Nick Patrick scolds Mr. Boricua, Colombian Heat gets up. *DING!* And he gets hit with a low blow from Vitamin X! COLE Low blow by Vitamin X! The referee had his back turned! Colombian Heat falls to the mat. The crowd boos. Mr. Boricua gets off the ring apron just after the low blow, so Nick Patrick sees Colombian Heat holding his balls, while Vitamin X is on his feet. He calls for Mr. Boricua to hand him something. Mr. Boricua gets the message and looks underneath the ring apron. COLE What’s going on now? COACH I don’t know, but it can’t be good for Colombian Heat! Mr. Boricua comes out of the ring apron with Vitamin X’s blue gym bag. Mr. Boricua unzips the gym bag and searches it, coming out with…a Kendo Stick! The crowd starts booing again as Mr. Boricua gives the Kendo Stick to Vitamin X. COACH Here we go! Now this match will get REALLY good! Colombian Heat is crawling around the ring. Vitamin X twirls the Kendo Stick in his hands doing some mocking karate poses. Nick Patrick warns Vitamin X about the Kendo Stick, but he won’t listen, as he slams the Kendo Stick over Colombian Heat’s back! COLE Vitamin X attacking Colombian Heat with that Kendo Stick found in his gym bag! Vitamin X slams the Kendo Stick over Colombian Heat’s back again! He hits Heat with the Kendo Stick a third time! And then a FOURTH time! CABOOSE He’s taking Colombian HACK to the woodshed! COACH Look at Colombian HACK squirm! Look at him squirm like the piece of lower class filth that he is! *CRACK!* Vitamin X hits Heat with the Kendo Stick a FIFTH time! *CRACK!* *CRACK!* Two more Kendo Stick shots, and the Kendo Stick is still in one piece! *CRACK!* An EIGHTH Kendo Stick shot to the back! NICK PATRICK Okay, that’s enough! VITAMIN X BUZZ OFF, PATRICK! Colombian Heat uses the ropes to pick himself up. He holds his back, which must be red by now. Vitamin X twirls his Kendo Stick some more, and then bounces off the ropes, charging forward with the Kendo Stick… BUT COLOMBIAN HEAT BACK BODY DROPS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE AND TO THE FLOOR! VITAMIN X SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! COLE X tossed over the top rope! CABOOSE X, are you all right? Vitamin X lies face down on the ground. Colombian Heat is starting to get up. He dropped his Kendo Stick on the mat. VX is starting to get up himself. He uses the ring apron for help. When Vitamin X gets to his feet, Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes, and comes crashing down on Vitamin X with a Pescado! COLE Over the top rope goes Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat lays into Vitamin X with lefts and rights. Heat is just furious, doing the mounted punches on The X-Man while the crowd cheers loudly. COACH Stop it! Just stop it! This is manslaughter! This could be classified as manslaughter! Colombian Heat then starts slamming Vitamin X’s head on the protective mats, his face now turning red. COLE Colombian Heat remembers. He remembers Vitamin X’s smug look on his face after he screwed him. He remembers the laughing and the beatdown after the match. He remembers the taser shot. Colombian Heat remembers all of this, and now he’s getting some retribution tonight at AngleMania! Colombian Heat throws Vitamin X back into the ring. But then, Mr. Boricua runs up behind Heat and punches him in the back again! He hits CH with a MASSIVE clothesline knocking him down! CABOOSE All right Boricua! Teach that Colombian HACK a lesson! Beat his ass! Beat. His. Ass! Mr. Boricua yells at the crowd. He grunts and snorts. Mr. Boricua picks up the weakened Colombian Heat and throws him into the ring. Vitamin X is now getting tired from the match. He wipes the sweat from his forehead, and then gets to his feet. The crowd is booing again, pissed off that Colombian Heat just got clotheslined by Mr. Boricua. Vitamin X picks up Colombian Heat and gives him a neckbreaker! X then unleashes some fast kicks onto Colombian Heat, weakening his former stablemate even more. X picks Colombian Heat and starts doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle drawing boos. COACH Oh yeah. He’s feeling it. He’s feeling it! Vitamin X taunts Heat, and then does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. He punches Heat. He punches Heat again! VX does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, and hits Heat with another punch…BLOCKED! Colombian Heat punches Vitamin X! He punches him again! Colombian Heat hits Vitamin X with a right jab! Followed by a second jab! Then a third jab! Colombian Heat DANCES~! And then hits Vitamin X with a fourth jab to complete the Shake, Rattle, & Roll. COLE Shake, Rattle, & Roll from Colombian Heat! COACH Oh no! Colombian Heat yells at X, and then bounces off the ropes. He does a SHIMMY~! and then drops a knee onto Vitamin X’s forehead. Shaky Leg Kneedrop! COLOMBIAN HEAT Punk motherfucker! Colombian Heat picks Vitamin X up. He jaw jacks with him, and then slaps HIM across the face. Colombian Heat Irish whips Vitamin X into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but Vitamin X ducks, and shifts his body so that he can give Heat a Floatover DDT! VX covers Heat. 1…2…KICK OUT! VITAMIN X DAMN! “KILL THE X-MAN!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “KILL THE X-MAN!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “KILL THE X-MAN!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* “KILL THE X-MAN!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* COLE Vitamin X has been very impressive tonight. CABOOSE As if there were any doubt! This is AngleMania! He has to show off his best! Vitamin X gets back up. He sees Colombian Heat down on the mat, and decides that it’s time to end this match. Colombian Heat lies in the center of the ring. Vitamin X leaps onto the ring apron, and climbs the top rope. COLE This could be it. This could be the end. He could be going for the Leap Of Faith now! COACH Do it now, X-Man! Do it now! CABOOSE Finish him off! Finish him off! The crowd starts buzzing as Vitamin X positions himself on the top rope. COLE Vitamin X is going to climb the ropes now. Leap Of Faith maybe coming up! Vitamin X stands up on the top rope. He sees Colombian Heat on the mat. He looks at the crowd, and then at Mr. Boricua, who is yelling at him to do the move. Vitamin X smiles evilly at Colombian Heat, and then leaps off the top rope, extending his right arm in the air, and then pulling it up, so that the elbow meets Colombian Heat’s head, doing the Leap Of Faith… THE LEAP OF FAITH MISSES! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Leap Of Faith misses! Vitamin X has failed to hit the Leap Of Faith! I don’t think that has ever happened before! I don’t think Vitamin X has ever missed the Leap Of Faith! COACH No! No! CABOOSE Oh God! This can’t be good! Vitamin X lies on the mat in pain. He holds his back and screams out. Colombian Heat soon gets to his feet. The crowd is starting to get hot, feeling that the tide is shifting. COLE Vitamin X can be in trouble here! Colombian Heat covers Vitamin X. 1… 2… 3—MR. BORICUA PULLS COLOMBIAN HEAT OUT OF THE RING! COLE And Mr. Boricua has Colombian Heat in his hands yet again! Mr. Boricua pushes Colombian Heat into the ring steps! He then charges forward, but Heat moves out of the way, and Boricua hits the ring steps shoulder first causing the top step to fall! COLE Boricua hit the stairs! Boricua hit the stairs! CABOOSE Oh no! Mr. Boricua lies on the ground. CH enters the ring. Vitamin X is starting to get up. Colombian Heat notices that X’s Kendo Stick is still in the ring. So, not surprisingly, he picks up the Kendo Stick and twirls it around. He raises it over his head, causing the crowd to cheer. COLE He’s got the Kendo Stick now! COACH Hey, get that Kendo Stick away from him! Vitamin X is crawling around the ring, so Colombian Heat decides there’s no better time than now to slam the Kendo Stick over Vitamin X’s back! VITAMIN X OWWWWWWWWWWWW! CABOOSE DISQUALIFY HIM! Colombian Heat slams the Kendo Stick over X’s back again! VX NO! Vitamin X is on the mat, but Heat STILL slams the Kendo Stick over VX’s back a third time! CABOOSE Oh no! *CRACK!* COLE That was for Anglepalooza! *CRACK!* COLE That was for Zero Hour! *CRACK!* COLE And that was for the Corporate Street Fight! CABOOSE Somebody stop him! COLE Listen to that Kendo Stick across the back of Vitamin X! You can hear it all over the arena! VX uses the ropes to pull himself up. *CRACK!* He STILL gets hit with the Kendo Stick, which is shockingly still in one piece. VX goes over to a turnbuckle, where Colombian Heat slams the Kendo Stick across his chest, and then across his stomach! Twice! Three times! Four times! Five times! Six times! CABOOSE His body must be so sore now! I can’t look! COLE Colombian Heat is showing Vitamin X no mercy tonight! Heat hits VX with the Kendo Stick to the chest one more time and then finally throws it away. Heat then goes to his martial arts kicks all over Vitamin X’s body. The crowd comes alive. Heat finishes with a jumping back kick to the jaw knocking Vitamin X down to the mat! CABOOSE AAAAH! COLOMBIAN HEAT You want some more? CROWD YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Vitamin X uses the bottom ring rope to pull himself up. By doing so, his head rests on the bottom turnbuckle pad. The crowd cheers loudly, since they know what this means. And indeed, Colombian Heat heads to the opposite turnbuckle. He does the “low-rider” hand gesture. CABOOSE VX is going to need a miracle to win this! I gotta pray! Colombian Heat charges forward…and this time is able to give Vitamin X the Broncobuster! COLE Broncobuster! Broncobuster on Vitamin X! An AngleMania Broncobuster! Nick Patrick pulls Colombian Heat off of Vitamin X. Heat wants to know why, but Nick Patrick instead checks on Vitamin X. While this is going on, Mr. Boricua has entered the ring, the Kendo Stick in his hands. COLE Oh great. He’s back! Look out from behind! Look out! Mr. Boricua waits for Colombian Heat to turn around. When he does… *CRACK!* Mr. Boricua hits Colombian Heat upside the head with the Kendo Stick, which finally breaks! CABOOSE Yes! COLE Kendo Stick to the face, referee didn’t see it! Mr. Boricua wisely kicks the pieces of the Kendo Stick out of the ring, and then exits. Colombian Heat is down on the mat. Vitamin X is still resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. The crowd boos. CABOOSE My prayers are answered! COLE Mr. Boricua is back to the outside. The referee didn’t see the Kendo Stick shot! Nick Patrick begins his 10 count. Vitamin X slowly crawls over to Colombian Heat, who is still knocked out on the mat. COLE This will be a crime if Vitamin X wins this match! CABOOSE All you got to do is crawl across the ring and cover him, X! Cover Colombian HACK! Cover him! Vitamin X is still crawling towards Heat. The crowd is anxious, hoping the X-Man doesn’t pick up the win. CABOOSE What a match! Vitamin X is going to win at AngleMania! Vitamin X puts his right hand on Colombian Heat’s chest. Mr. Boricua yells out. Nick Patrick counts. 1… 2… 2 ½ 2.999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLOMBIAN HEAT KICKS OUT! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE And Colombian Heat kicks out! What resiliency from the Colombian! CABOOSE That was three, wasn’t it? COLE No, it was a two! Colombian Heat and Vitamin X are both on the mat. Nick Patrick has to do a 10 count again. Heat and VX both show signs of life. CABOOSE Come on X! Come on X! Vitamin X gets on one knee when the referee gets to 2. X tells the ref to stop the count since he’s up. VX is sweating bullets, breathing hard, and severely weakened by now. Still, he WANTS Colombian Heat to get up. When Heat takes too long to get up, VX just grabs him by his head, causing his Colombian flag bandana to fall off, and picks him up himself. X throws Colombian Heat onto the bottom turnbuckle, resting his head on the bottom turnbuckle pad. He then starts choking Heat with his right foot, an evil smile on his face. CABOOSE Yes! COLE This is illegal! CABOOSE What is? NICK PATRICK Come on now! That’s enough! 1! 2! 3! 4! Vitamin X lets go. The crowd stomps its feet in unison, trying to bring Colombian Heat back to life. But Heat is resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. Vitamin X walks over to the opposite turnbuckle, causing the crowd to boo. COLE Are we going to see X’s version perhaps of the Broncobuster? CABOOSE His version? Vitamin X INVENTED that move! COLE Oh come on! Vitamin X does the “low-rider” hand gesture, and then charges forward, going for the Broncobuster… BUT COLOMBIAN HEAT MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! And Vitamin X’s crotch meets the ring post! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” CABOOSE No! No! No! That’s twice tonight! He’s missed a move twice! Damnit! Vitamin X falls to the mat, holding the family jewels. Colombian Heat is crawling around the ring, slowly getting up. Suddenly, Mr. Boricua climbs over the top rope into the ring! COLE And again Mr. Boricua is out here, interfering in the match! Vitamin X is holding Nick Patrick’s shirt, distracting him. Mr. Boricua yells, and then charges forward, but Colombian Heat kicks him in the gut to stop any attack! COLE And this time! This time, Colombian Heat is ready! Kick to the stomach! Colombian Heat beats on Mr. Boricua a bit, and then finishes with a spinning wheel kick knocking Mr. Boricua down! Vitamin X is slowly getting up. Mr. B slowly crawls over to a turnbuckle, using the bottom ring rope to pull himself up. COLE Mr. Boricua went to the well once too often and paid the price! Mr. Boricua’s head rests on the bottom turnbuckle pad. The crowd starts cheering. Colombian Heat doesn’t even bother to go the opposite turnbuckle. He just runs a few feet, does the “low-rider” hand gesture, and then charges forward, giving Mr. Boricua the Broncobuster! COLE Broncobuster! Broncobuster on Mr. Boricua! CABOOSE Oh Dear God no! Heat gets off of Mr. Boricua, who is still resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. Vitamin X is starting to get up, so Colombian Heat grabs him and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Clothesline! Vitamin X gets up. Another clothesline! Vitamin X gets up again! A third clothesline! VX gets up AGAIN! A fourth clothesline! COLE Colombian Heat is in control of Vitamin X! Colombian Heat plays to the crowd some, and then picks up VX again. Heat whips X into the ropes. X goes for a clothesline, but Heat ducks, grabs X from behind, and brings him down with a Gangsta Slam! COLE Gangsta Slam! Gangsta Slam on Vitamin X! Heat gets up, and bounces off the ropes. He follows up with the “Where The Hood At?” Rolling Thunder onto VX! The crowd is getting more and more hot. Heat plays to the crowd some more and then exits the ring. Heat climbs the turnbuckle until he is on the top rope. He waits for Vitamin X to get up. VITAMIN X Get up, foo’! COLE Heat up top! Vitamin X slowly gets up. He is on his knees. CABOOSE I can’t look! I can’t watch! Mr. Boricua is still on the turnbuckle. Vitamin X is on one knee. Heat is still yelling at VX to get up. VX gets to a vertical base, but is having trouble standing. Colombian Heat jumps off the top rope, and NAILS Vitamin X with a picture perfect missile dropkick taking The X-Man down! COLE Missile Dropkick! Colombian Heat is dominating Vitamin X now! Colombian Heat sits up and looks at his right hand. He starts shaking it, which causes the crowd to cheer loudly. COLE Uh-oh! CABOOSE Oh no! COACH Damnit! COLE It could be time! IT COULD BE TIME! Heat shakes his head like he’s having a seizure. COLOMBIAN HEAT WASSSSSSSSSSSUP!? Colombian Heat does the Spin-A-Roonie to a loud pop from the crowd! COLE Spin-A-Roonie! Spin-A-Roonie from Colombian Heat! It’s an AngleMania Spin-A-Roonie! COACH I hate that stupid move thanks to Colombian HACK! CABOOSE Stupid Colombian HACK! Heat stands up and looks at the crowd. He does an Eddie Guerrero like SHIMMY~! and then puts his hands around his throat and pretends to gag. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE That’s it! Heat is fired up! He’s ready! He’s ready to hit the Colombian Necktie! CABOOSE Look out X! Look out! Colombian Heat is FIRED UP, DAMNIT! He points a finger at X, and then gets ready to give him the Colombian Necktie. The crowd cheers while X slowly starts to get up. COLE If Heat hits his move, it’s over! CABOOSE Look out! Suddenly, Mr. Boricua grabs Heat’s right foot. Heat turns around and attacks Mr. Boricua! COLE Mr. Boricua, making his presence known, AGAIN! Colombian Heat beats on Mr. Boricua, not knowing that Vitamin X is on one knee. Nick Patrick has to break up the fight, and then force Mr. Boricua to leave the ring. While he does this, Colombian Heat watches and Vitamin X gets to his feet using the ropes. COLE Mr. Boricua distracted Colombian Heat. Vitamin X is on his feet and Colombian Heat doesn’t know it! CABOOSE HA! HA! Always count on The Lightning Crew! They somehow, someway find a way to win! COACH They haven’t won yet, but I’m sure they will! Colombian Heat watches as Mr. Boricua exits the ring. He smiles. Vitamin X walks up behind him, which pisses off the crowd. COLE Heat look out! Behind you! BEHIND YOU! Vitamin X smiles evilly. Colombian Heat turns around, and gets kicked in the gut. X places Heat in between his legs, and then hooks his arms. COLE The Overdose! Vitamin X is going for the Overdose! We haven’t seen that move in a while! CABOOSE YES! Vitamin X lifts Colombian Heat up…but Heat escapes! Colombian Heat kicks Vitamin X in the gut, places him in between his legs, hooks the arms, and then lifts him up, turning him around so that Vitamin X’s feet are in the air. COLE Yes! CABOOSE NO! NO! NO! COACH No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! COLE Could it be? Is this it? Colombian Heat holds Vitamin X in the air for a few seconds, letting the blood rush to his head. Mr. Boricua is panicking on the outside. The crowd is cheering. Colombian Heat saids one more thing to VX… AND THEN BRINGS HIM DOWN WITH THE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Colombian Necktie! Colombian Necktie! The Colombian Necktie has been hit! CABOOSE OH NO! COACH NO! Colombian Heat covers Vitamin X. Mr. Boricua is still panicking on the outside. Referee Nick Patrick counts. The crowd counts along. 1… 2… 2 ½ 2. 99999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” *DING DING DING* (11:32) COLE Colombian Heat wins! Colombian Heat has gotten his revenge over Vitamin X! Colombian Heat pumps his fist in victory. The crowd goes wild! Vitamin X lies on the mat, practically knocked out, while Mr. Boricua groans on the outside. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. BUFFER Here is your winner…COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! COLE What a victory for Colombian Heat! What a victory at AngleMania V! CABOOSE Oh God! Oh God! I can’t believe it! Vitamin X just got beat by Colombian HACK! I can’t believe it! COACH Damn Colombian HACK! Damn him! Colombian Heat uses the ropes to pull himself up. Nick Patrick raises Heat’s hands in victory. Heat raises them again to get the crowd fired up. He slowly walks around the ring, holding his back. COLE Vitamin X wanted to prove he was better. Vitamin X wanted to prove that he was the superior wrestler, that his way of life was superior to Colombian Heat’s way of life. But tonight, at AngleMania, Colombian Heat shocked Vitamin X by pulling out the victory here in Atlantic City, New Jersey! Vitamin X now has a 0-1 record at AngleMania, while Colombian Heat is 1-0, and hopefully will add to that record for years to come! CABOOSE I can’t believe it! Colombian HACK beat Vitamin X. Colombian HACK beat VITAMIN X. COLE I guess he’s not such a HACK after all. Isn’t he? COACH Shut up Michael Cole! Colombian Heat is STILL a HACK! He will ALWAYS be a HACK! Colombian Heat was just lucky tonight, that’s all! He somehow managed to win, but The X-Man will be back, because he is better than Colombian Heat in every way, shape, or form and you can quote me on that! COLE Okay. Okay. Calm down a little bit, geez. Colombian Heat plays to the crowd, a smile on his face. He maybe fatigued, but he still has the energy to play to his fans. He pounds his chest and then does a SHIMMY~! as “Gasolina (Remix)” continues playing. Mr. Boricua has taken Vitamin X out of the ring, and is helping him walk up the aisle. VX is out of it, groggy, and in serious pain. He barely knows where he is. COLE Let’s take a look at the replay. The OAOAST AngleMania V logo flashes across the screen. We see the replay of the ending starting with Colombian Heat getting ready to hit the Colombian Necktie to Vitamin X. COACH Heat was ready to hit his stupid finishing move, but Mr. Boricua made the save. Instead of letting him sit there, Referee Nick Patrick FORCED Mr. Boricua to leave the ring. Luckily, Vitamin X still managed to hit the Overdose, but then Colombian Heat CHEATED, gave Vitamin X the Colombian Necktie and got the win! COLE He cheated? How so? COACH He did. I just know it! COLE You don’t know what you’re talking about! COACH I know more than you! COLE Get out of here! Mr. Boricua helps Vitamin X walk up the steps to the entrance. Colombian Heat has gotten a microphone. He looks at VX and Mr. Boricua. COLOMBIAN HEAT Aiyo! Aiyo! Yo! Yo! Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X turn around. Mr. Boricua is grunting and snorting. Vitamin X has no idea where he is. The crowd cheers. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down. COLE What’s this? COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, Vitamin X. I told ya. I told ya. But you didn’t listen. And ya paid the price because I DID make you feel the Heat UP IN THIS— “BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH!” HEAT Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn right! HA! HA! Colombian Heat puts the microphone away. “Gasolina (Remix)” starts playing again. Mr. Boricua yells at Vitamin X, who has to be held up by Boricua so as not to fall. The crowd cheers loudly as Colombian Heat taunts Vitamin X and Mr. Boricua, a smile as wide as the Cheshire cat on his face. COLE He was right. Colombian Heat made Vitamin X feel the Heat tonight at AngleMania V! CABOOSE He should have extinguished the Heat! It’s like his shirt says, HE should have BEATEN Colombian Heat! COLE Well he wanted to, but he didn’t. It will go down in the record books. Vitamin X lost to Colombian Heat at his first AngleMania. What a way to start AngleMania V! CABOOSE Oh well. It’s okay. Tha Puerto Rican is going to retain the 24/7 Title tonight. That should cheer me up. PRL winning, beating Leon Rodez in that Ladder Match tonight. That’ll cheer me up! COLE Well Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall lost the Battle Royal, and Vitamin X just lost to Colombian Heat, so what does that say about Tha Puerto Rican’s chances tonight? CABOOSE SHUT UP MICHAEL COLE! THA PUERTO RICAN WILL WIN TONIGHT! HE WILL WIN! HE WILL BEAT LEON RODEZ AND RETAIN THE 24/7 TITLE! HE WILL WIN! HE GUARAN-DAMN-TEED IT! IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TONIGHT! I PROMISE YOU! COLE Yes. Yes. I get it. I get it. Okay. You think Tha Puerto Rican will win tonight. CABOOSE He will. COLE Okay. Okay! Mr. Boricua helps Vitamin X walk up to the entrance stage. COLE Colombian Heat wins in his AngleMania debut! We still got more to come as we’re just getting started at AngleMania V! What a night this will be! Colombian Heat is still in the ring playing to the crowd. He does another SHIMMY~! for fun. He has a smile on his face as “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull continues playing.

So the card is... PK vs. Alf (World Title) Rockers vs. NNMX (Tag Titles) PRL vs. Rodez (24/7 Title) Two for the Money Black T vs. Drek/Hoff Columbian Heat vs. Vitamin X Bo/CW vs. COD Feel free to tell me what I've missed.

Adam. Apparently he's no longer a "Nice Guy." I'm still nice, this name's just easier to remember. In my old age of 19, I need to make it easier on myself. Alright, well you know how crazy this place gets after Mania, so the show won't be going up until a decent time after that. If I can get it up before my last class this afternoon I shall, but if not it'll be later.

I have to wait another two days to see it. Hooray. I'll download it before then.

That was great. The Main Event tomorrow night is going to be very, very interesting.

Wow, this is nuclear.

Yeah, Im having a bit of trouble every now and again.

Greg, stop talking about your kids. No one gives a fuck.

Bobby with the April Fools! Hahaha, brilliant.

The only way that post could be more ironic is if it was coming from Banky.

That post sucked, because we'll never see the AIDS Monster again.

28. The room is spinning

Dutch saved the thread.

Zuh? I know Sonjay is based in the US, not sure about his background, but really, zuh?

You win.

You're my hero.

Lets break it down slightly. Brand and Maggette are much better players now than in 05-06. Brand has become more of a scoring Power Forward than a rebounding one, as noted in his stats from the two seasons, which I am looking at right now. Jeff McInnis averaged 14, 2 and 6 in 01-02. Cassell has so far averaged 17, 3 and 6. Those stats are close, but you can't deny that Cassell has a larger overall impact on the way the team plays than McInnis. Cuttino Mobley has 15.7 PPG, 4.6RPG and 3.2APG, and has also made a major impact. Lamar Odom had slightly better numbers overall at 13, 6 and 5. Chris Kaman has been playing a blinder all year, with 11.5PPG, 9.5RPG, and 1.4BPG thrown in. These are slightly better than Michael Olowakandi's 11 and 8. Off the bench, Q-Rich and Miles were both very solid, but then again, so are Vladimir Radmanovic and Shaun Livingston. By the numbers, the teams are pretty much even, with this years' team averaging 2 more points per game, and having slightly better shooting percentages from the field and the line (although the 01-02 team did better from beyond the arc, but come on, they had Q). Overall, it comes down to record. The 01-02 team finished at 39-43. The current Clippers team, with 13 games left, is already two wins above that. Now, argue the hypotheticals all you want, but those are the stats.

If the mods would look at his posts in the V for Vendetta thread, and last weeks NBA thread, they'd see his stupidity and general annoyance. Please.

Yep, Leena does contribute intelligent discussion in Sports and LSD. Fanofcoils is a tool.

University of Tasmania, Australia - Just started my second year of a combined degree majoring in Journalism and Marketing/Business Management.

Just read the V for Vendetta thread, and I think I lost IQ points. That and his idiotic Clippers argument should get him banned.

I really should ignore Banky like everyone else does.

Wait, he said what? Doesn't he get the concept of time?