Adam

Seconded.

Awesome show, I really didn't expect CWM's swerve at the end. Caboose being added to the mix makes it *that* much more interesting. Great job by Hoff on the opening promo, set the tone for the Axel/Crystal segments to come. Also some good stuff to build up PRL/Panther. Next week should be just as good, and AngleMania should be one to remember, that's for sure.

Axel has something to say about his two possible AngleMania Main Event opponents, and a match with OAOAST Enhancement Talent, Tom Goran.

Well Vince let Eddie Guererro fulfill his obligations with ROH and bring the IC Belt onto the show, so I doubt he'd have a problem with the Cruiserweight Champion having a match on a ROH show.

Hey, maybe London will have a 20 minute interview segment to hype his match with Chavo.

Wow, that's awful man. All the best for a full and speedy recovery.

Well technically Hussan is an 'Arab American' - he has never specified which Arab country his heritige comes from. So he could still introduce The Iron Sheik.

Doesn't really I suppose, but it gives me an excuse, as others had reason to because he was/is an ass.

Wow, at least I was right in hating the fucker. Anyway, really good show guys, props to NYU for putting it together and writing an awesome promo, as I really think he is one of our best promo guys. To Hoff, good Main dude, and I really like how you did the ending. Who is Prince Killings????? The contract signing next week should be very interesting indeed. I like how the crowd are slowly starting to cheer Zack again, but not too much after what he did. I also like how zack hasn't really changed his persona at all, he's just the default baby when going against Black T. Good stuff in the PRL/Panther feud again, nice attempt at comedy from PRL with the whole Mr. Boricua thing. Overall a very good show. Feedback is short and sweet because of this journalism essay I'm writing but it will be better next week, as weill my contribution to the show.

You could just go completely random and take signs that no one gets, but yet everyone finds funny as its so fucked up and out there. Could work. Love the "This Sign Is Too Small To Be Pushed" and "Carlito spits, but Randy swallows" though. This place is always great for sign suggestions.

How bout Australian?

I: Andre the Giant v. Big John Studd (Bodyslam Match) II: Don Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff III: King Harley Race vs. The Junkyard Dog IV: Ricky Steamboat vs. Greg Valentine V: The Brainbusters vs Strike Force VI: Jake Roberts vs Ted DiBiase VII: Randy Savage vs. The Ultimate Warrior VIII: Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Sgt. Slaughter, Virgil & Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie, Repo Man & Nasty Boys w/ Jimmy Hart (just to get some of these guys on the card) IX: Mr. Perfect vs. Lex Luger X: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart XI: Lawrence Taylor v. Bam Bam Bigelow XII: Hollywood Backlot Brawl - Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Goldust XIII: The Undertaker vs. Diesel XIV: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels, WWF(E) Title XV: Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn XVI: Two Fall Triple Threat Match: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho, IC and European Titles (I just had to get this match on here) XVII: TLC 2 (Dudleys-Hardyz-E&C), Tag Titles XVIII: The Rock vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan XIX: Triple H vs. Booker T, World Title XX: John Cena vs. The Big Show, US Title

I'd be very happy with Batista and Cena switching shows. Then perhaps Cena could go back to his edgier persona and cut some reasonable promos. Batista and maybe Jericho to SmackDown could also work with Cena and Reigns to RAW.

Why can't we have it on the 3rd again? I mean yeah, its WrestleMania, but still, there are a few people that won't be able to use Easter weekend to finish their matches and get them in if they are visiting family, etc. At least by the 3rd everyone will have sufficient time. Plus, I think an extra week of build would be good for the show.

Announcment about next week's HeldDown, and more build for the Main Event angles leading to Mania.

You are an evil bastard for making me think of that show.

Axel: "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys "Breathe" by The Prodigy "The Game" by Disturbed; and currently... "Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed Like NYU, seriously considering changing after AM. AJ Flaire used "Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains, while Gunner Sharps used "Debonaire" by Dope to complete the double ECW ripoff. The stable I brought in for two months last year, AWOL, used "Frantic" by Metallica.

The Popick pic never fails to bring back memories of the Ejac Chamber. And Zack, I am SO withholding (sp?) all comments right now.

Here's a quick summary for those who can't be stuffed reading the entire awards show, which, with the exception of Tony's and CC's speeches, was written entirely by myself, Hoff and NYU. Best Gimmick: Zack Malibu Rookie of the Year: Drek Stone Best Tag Team: Black T Best Stable: The Thrillogy Best Writer: NYU HomoSexual Tendancies: Rick Shirley Best Feud: Zack Malibu vs. Crystal Best Entrance: Axel Best Face: Crystal Best Heel: Drek Stone Best Finisher: Hoff's Future Shock HeldDown Match of the Year: TIE (OAOAST Champion Crystal versus Sly Sommers; Axel and Ragdoll versus Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstein) Pay Per View Match of the Year: War Games (Zack Malibu, Calvin Szechstein, Hoff and Gibraltar versus Crystal, Sly Sommers, AJ Flaire and Northstar) Superstar of the Year: Zack Malibu

MICHAEL COLE Welcome to the 2005 Angle Awards! Ladies and Gentlemen, to present our first awards, Gimmick of the Year and Rookie of the Year, please welcome my two broadcast colleagues, Jonathon Coachman, and current OAOAST Fall of Haimer, Caboose. *Mild applause* Coach and Caboose walk up to the podium, decked out in as expensive suits as they could afford on crappy announcers wages, and begin the FUNNY COMEDIC SPIEL~! COACH You know Caboose; there have been many great Gimmicks in the history of this federation. CABOOSE Yes Coach, gimmicks such as ‘Totally Endorsed’ Calvin Szechstein, Naz Mistry, and Ragdoll have ranged from the funny to the insane. On the other end of the spectrum, there was Damaramu, and if he asks, no, we didn’t read your work you hypocritical fuck. COACH But tonight, the Best Gimmick of the year 2004 will be announced. The nominees are: Zack Malibu, the psychotic Franchise, Fall of Haimer, obsessed with the OAOAST Title; ‘The Dark One’ Axel, a hybrid of many dark characters, including Raven and the Undertaker; Rick Edwards, who transformed from superhero The Blurricane, to a bitter star; Phenom, the newest enigma to grace the OAOAST; and Crazy Vampire, quite possibly the worst idea for a character ever. COACH And the winner is… CABOOSE Well, this is no surprise… Zack Malibu! Zack makes his way up to the lecturn and smiles at the crowd, but before he can utter a word, his microphone is cut off! CABOOSE Sorry Zack, we're running voer time already! Let's move onto Rookie of the Year! COACH Well, moving on, we come to our second award of the night. CABOOSE This is one of those main event awards, in my opinion. It’s now time to decide the Rookie of the Year -- and, in my opinion, there really is only one correct decision to be made. COACH Hmm. Well, I’m pretty sure I don’t have to ask who you were going to say. Either way, 2004 has just been an absolute great year for rookies. To the point where four of them have actually had a major OAOAST title this year. CABOOSE Don’t forget two of them even managed to capture the Heavyweight Championship! COACH ….Phenom? CABOOSE What the hell are you talking about? COACH You know…Phenom. 24/7 Champion. BAM BABY, THAT’S WHAT I LIKE. The whole deal. Come on Boose, you know! CABOOSE No. He wasn’t even nominated for this award. COACH ……hmm. Really? Well, this is a little awkward. I should have done my research for this thing, huh? CABOOSE You…you MORON! You just ruined the entire flow we had going! You couldn’t stick to the teleprompter? You have to include your own comments?! COACH Well, it’s not like you have to yell about it! CABOOSE Ugh…well, anyway, let’s just get to the nominees. Chris Bryte. Been an effective thorn in the side of Panther all year. Along with The Hand, this evil mastermind was able to put both Tina and Panther on the sidelines for several months -- and let’s not forget, actually being responsible for a murder as well. Drek Stone. The current OAOAST Heavyweight Champion. Managed to run roughshod over some of the biggest names in the sport today -- and looked damn stylish while he did it too. Also a former Italian Champion and Round Robin Tourney winner as well. Gunner Sharps. Former 24/7 Champion and possibly THE strongest guy to ever step into an OAOAST ring. Just an absolute monster, and everyone knows it. Once he hits you with that spear, you can just say goodbye. Hoff. Former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion and 24/7 Title Holder. Also managed to win the Emperor of Death tournament along the way. His evil streak was shown in 2004 with Thrillogy, but he remains one of the most popular superstars in the federation today. Leon Rodez. The current OAOAST X-Division champion. Definitely one of the best fighting champions to hold the title since he won it back in October. And, let’s be honest -- not just anyone could actually get more popular by starring in a seedy porno video. COACH And there we go. I think we finally have everything set. CABOOSE I would hope so. COACH Well, without further ado….the Rookie of the Year! Coach tears open the envelope -- or at least tries to. He finds himself actually unable to open the flap. COACH Jeez…this is some tough glue they used, you know? CABOOSE Oh, for the love of… Caboose tears the envelope away from Coach and manages to open it without a problem. Coach looks down sheepishly, as Caboose reads the results. CABOOSE And the winner is…. YES!! DREK STONE!! Immediately after the announcement, that all-too familiar theme song starts playing. Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One Drek Stone stands up from his table with a wide smile on his face and starts walking up to the stage slowly, arrogantly taking in the moment for all he can. Dressed in a black-and-white tuxedo, with the Heavyweight Title glittering around his waist, Drek moves up to the podium and simply winks at the camera. Caboose can be seen clapping excitedly in the background, while Coach can’t help but keep his eyes on the floor. Drek then accepts the award and holds it above his head, obviously still cherishing the moment. DREK Well, I can safely say that this night is certainly starting off on the right foot. I mean, I didn’t have any doubts whatsoever that I would be winning Rookie of the Year. Honestly now, how could I not have? Think of all the accomplishments I’ve achieved in the ten months I’ve been in the OAOAST. Think of all the people I’ve defeated to get here. From The Mad Cappa to Panther. From Sly Sommers to Calvin Szechstein. From Crystal to AJ Flaire. From Leon Rodez to Damaramu. I’ve been successful in Ladder Matches, I-Quit Matches, Hardcore Matches, Run for the Gold competitons…..hell, even in an Elimination Chamber! I’ve done it all, baby. Along the way, I even managed to successfully capture the Italian Championship -- oh yeah, not to mention the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship as well! I’ve done it all in the past ten months! I’ve done more than these other guys could ever wish to do. And that includes that bastard Hoff over there as well. Hoff rises out of his chair slightly, earning a cheer from all the other wrestlers sitting in attendance. Axel gets up and tries to get the Zero Hour contender to sit down, but Hoff continues to stare up at the stage. DREK Oh yeah, Hoff. That applies to you. This is why I’m standing up here and you’re down there, without a single award in your hand. What have you managed to do in the past year?! You lost to CWM at AngleMania….quite the accomplishment. You were the mop-up bitch for Thrillogy for a few months. Congratulations. Oh, and let’s not forget that you just barely squeaked by Crystal at World Without End to win the Heavyweight belt -- and then suddenly had to give it up. Hoff, for anyone else, that kind of year would be an embarrassment. For you, it’s just completely normal. Did you really think you would win Rookie of the Year?! Did you even think you would get that close?! Are you THAT deluded?! What an absolute JOKE you are! The camera catches another glimpse of Hoff, who continues to stare up at Drek Stone, silently seething at the Champion’s comments. DREK I love that jealousy in your eyes, Hoff. I really do love to see it. But, as great as it is, it’s not going to come close to seeing the pain that will be in your eyes tomorrow night when I walk out of Zero Hour with the Heavyweight Title still around my waist. Folks, you were all right with this particular decision. I AM the Rookie of the Year. And I really do hope you all made the right decision once again later on tonight when I walk away with the Superstar of the Year award as well. These guys -- they have nothing on me. And it’s damn sure about time that people recognize that very fact. Thank you very much. As “Woke Up This Morning” hits up over the loudspeakers once again, Drek steps off the stage and starts walking back to his table amidst a slight amount of booing from the wrestlers in attendance. Nearby, Hoff starts to slowly sit down once again into his seat with a frown still on his face. Looking for some kind of consolation, he grabs the nearest Smirnoff Ice near him and starts to chug it down. CABOOSE What a drunk….couldn’t even go for a respectable alcohol drink. COACH So there we go. Zack Malibu and Drek Stone both walk away with the initial two awards tonight -- and there’s still a lot more to get to! COLE Now, throughout the night, we will be looking back on the five Superstar of the Year candidates one by one. Four out of the five stars were former OAOAST Champions, and one has since left us. Let’s start with The Female Phenom, Crystal. “Set it Off” by Audioslave begins, as we are treated to a montage of Crystal’s year, including her OAOAST Title victory, victory over Zack Malibu in War Games, and her one hour draw with Sly Sommers at HeldDown Australia; coupled with comments by her peers. AXEL She’s amazing; the stuff she can do in the ring is unmatched. ZACK She is one of the toughest opponents I’ve worked against, and what she has done is incredible. HOFF Crystal? Jeez, that girl can wrestle. The barriers that she has broken down for her gender are amazing, she can do things that no guy could ever hope to do. DREK She’s a sure-fire future Fall of Haimer, and one of my toughest opponents. SCOTTY STATIC The girl is an inspiration. I hope she wins it. JOHNNY JACKSON Me too. Go girl! *Commercial Break*

COLE OK, it has come to this Ladies and Gentlemen. I have been given the honor of co-presenting the Superstar of the Year award, but here with me to read the name is none other than the 2005 Royal Rumble winner and smark darling, BATISTA! Batista's theme song plays and the Metrosexual Monster appears walking to Michael Cole at the lecturn. He shakes hands with Cole and poses, enticing a small pop from the smark wrestler who are so fond of DAVE~! COLE Dave, thanks for being here. BATISTA Quite alright Michael. COLE Have you got any picks for this award? BATISTA Well I'd like to see Hoff win it, he throws a mean spinebuster. Axel's is better though. COLE Fair enough, I agree. The nominees for Superstar of the Year are... CRYSTAL. ZACK MALIBU. SLY SOMMERS. HOFF. DREK STONE. COLE Incredible field there. Ok Dave, do the honors... BATISTA Alright. And the winner of Superstar of the Year award is... ZACK MALIBU! DREK WHAT? Drek Stone has stormed up to the podium in protest, as Zack cannot accept the award for being thrown out earlier. Drek snatches the award off of Batista, who snarls at the OAOAST Champion. DREK I AM THE GREATEST WRESTLER EVER TO BE IN THIS COMPANY! YOU ASSHOLES HAVE NO IODEA WHAT YOU JUST DID! ZACK MALIBU IS A HACK! A PHONY! I HATE HIM! I'M THE CHAMPION DAMN YOU! I'M THE SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR! HOFF Wait just a second! Suddenly, Hoff has stodd up, microphone in hand, and is addressing the irate Champion! HOFF You don't deserve shit Drek! I'm going to prove that tomorrow night you selfish son of a bitch! But first, Dave, show these people how to throw one! Drek turns around, award in hand, where DAVE HAS HIS SHIRT OFF AND IS POSING LIKE AN ANIMAL OMG GAY MOMENT.... SPINEBUSTER BY BATISTA TO DREK! HOFF See you tomorrow night, Champ. COLE Well what a way to end the 2004 Angle Awards! Goodnight everybody! END SHOW

*Back from Break* COLE And now, to the two awards that recognise a great amount of effort from a great amount of talented writers. We had so many good matches this year in the OAOAST that we had to break down Match of the Year into two categories - HeldDown and Pay Per View. Here to present the HeldDown award are none other than two guys who have been involved in more Match-of-the-year-candidates than any other two wrestlers - Good Old J.R. - Jim Ross, and Stone Cold Steve Austin! Jivin' JR STONE COLD! STONE COLD! AUSTIN WHAT? Yes, JR, it's me, and we're here to present the award to the best HeldDown match of the year. Jivin' JR BAH GAWD I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! STONE COLD IN THE OAOAST! STONE COLD! STNE COLD! *Austin lays out JR with a solid right hand* AUSTIN WHAT? Dammit, lets get on with this, the nominees are... OAOAST Champion Crystal versus Sly Sommers OAOAST Champion Crystal versus Drek Stone OAOAST Italian Champion Drek Stone versus Calvin Szechstein OAOAST 24/7 Champion Hoff versus Chris Stevens Axel and Ragdoll versus Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstein AUSTIN And the winner is... WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAAAAAAAATTTTT?????? ITS A TIE! Both of HeldDown: Australia's matches have won ladies and gentlemen, Crystal versus Sly, and the Dream Tag Team Partner match! Axel, Calvin and Crystal all come up to the stage to accept their awards, as Zack, Ragdoll and Sly are not at the event. AXEL OK, I'll go first, just quickly, thanks to those involved in the match, thanks to Ragdoll who couldnt be here tonight, and thanks to Zack and Cal for helping us put on a hell of a contest down in my home country. Thanks. CRYSTAL I'd love to take all the credit for this, but I can't. Either way, HeldDown is a worse place without one Sly Sommers. I miss ya pal! *applause* COLE Please welcome our next presenters, Shawn Michaels and "Mr. PPV," Rob Van Dam!! The audience cheers as Michaels and Van Dam hit the stage. The two men shake hands, and Van Dam makes an inaudible joke that sends both men into laughter. Shawn dries his eye and turns to address the people, and Van Dam does likewise. MICHAELS Folks, it's the HBK and RVD comin' atcha, LIVE at the Angle Awards!! "WOOOOO!" VAN DAM Yeah, and this next award is TOTALLY killer. For the OAOAST pay-per-view Match of the Year. Now, Shawn, everyone knows that you always bring something special to your pay-per-view matches. Shawn nods, smiling. MICHAELS And everyone knows that YOU are mister P-P-V. RVD does the thumbs along with Shawn's words. VAN DAM That's right, and we know something about great pay-per-view matches. So do tonight's nominees. But there's like...um...ten, or twelve, o....shit, I lost count....wait, what's going on? MICHAELS Rob, are you....are you high?! RVD looks blankly at Shawn. MICHAELS ....Well. The winner of the OAOAST Pay-Per-View Match of the Year.... Michaels opens the envelope. MICHAELS WARGAMES!!!!! The crowd applauds....as several people stand up. In oe part of the room is Crystal, who looks tenatively at the others standing. Not too far from her is Hoff, her former rival turned friend. In another part of the room stands Calvin Szechstein, and he and Hoff exchange an unsure glance. AJ Flaire is seen backstage, happy about it, but not in a hurry to come backstage. The other participants in the match -- Gibraltar, Sly Sommers and Northstar -- are only notable by their absence. MICHAELS Well, this is awkward....hey, HEY WAIT!! ROB!! Before anyone can really react, Van Dam simply grabs the award statuette off of the podium and runs off. Michaels looks at him in shock, then starts to tun after him -- but then turns back to the audience. MICHAELS Well, congratulations to the winners!! A cheesy orchestral version of "Sexy Boy" plays as HBK chases after RVD, who pulls some Funnyuns out of his jacket pocket. Meanwhile, the four Wargames participants all sit down, never taking their eyes off of one another...as we go to our next award! COLE Our final nominee for Superstar of the Year is one you know only too well. Lets have a look at the quickest rise to fame of any wrestler in this company, the OAOAST Champion, Drek Stone. CRYSTAL He's some sort of prodigy, its unbelieveable. "Woke Up This Morning" begins, as we are treated to a shot of Drek Stone's debut in the OAOAST. The montage features his battles with The Mad Cappa, his victory agaijnst Panther in the Road to the Elimination Chamber, and finally his World Title victory at Thanksgiving Star Wars. HOFF I look forward to beating him. AXEL As do I, but it won't be easy. CAPPA One of the toughest guys to wrestle in the company, just a great wrestler. *Commercial Break*

*Back from Break* COLE And now, to the two awards that recognise a great amount of effort from a great amount of talented writers. We had so many good matches this year in the OAOAST that we had to break down Match of the Year into two categories - HeldDown and Pay Per View. Here to present the HeldDown award are none other than two guys who have been involved in more Match-of-the-year-candidates than any other two wrestlers - Good Old J.R. - Jim Ross, and Stone Cold Steve Austin! Jivin' JR STONE COLD! STONE COLD! AUSTIN WHAT? Yes, JR, it's me, and we're here to present the award to the best HeldDown match of the year. Jivin' JR BAH GAWD I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! STONE COLD IN THE OAOAST! STONE COLD! STNE COLD! *Austin lays out JR with a solid right hand* AUSTIN WHAT? Dammit, lets get on with this, the nominees are... OAOAST Champion Crystal versus Sly Sommers OAOAST Champion Crystal versus Drek Stone OAOAST Italian Champion Drek Stone versus Calvin Szechstein OAOAST 24/7 Champion Hoff versus Chris Stevens Axel and Ragdoll versus Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstein AUSTIN And the winner is... WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAAAAAAAATTTTT?????? ITS A TIE! Both of HeldDown: Australia's matches have won ladies and gentlemen, Crystal versus Sly, and the Dream Tag Team Partner match! Axel, Calvin and Crystal all come up to the stage to accept their awards, as Zack, Ragdoll and Sly are not at the event. AXEL OK, I'll go first, just quickly, thanks to those involved in the match, thanks to Ragdoll who couldnt be here tonight, and thanks to Zack and Cal for helping us put on a hell of a contest down in my home country. Thanks. CRYSTAL I'd love to take all the credit for this, but I can't. Either way, HeldDown is a worse place without one Sly Sommers. I miss ya pal! *applause* COLE Please welcome our next presenters, Shawn Michaels and "Mr. PPV," Rob Van Dam!! The audience cheers as Michaels and Van Dam hit the stage. The two men shake hands, and Van Dam makes an inaudible joke that sends both men into laughter. Shawn dries his eye and turns to address the people, and Van Dam does likewise. MICHAELS Folks, it's the HBK and RVD comin' atcha, LIVE at the Angle Awards!! "WOOOOO!" VAN DAM Yeah, and this next award is TOTALLY killer. For the OAOAST pay-per-view Match of the Year. Now, Shawn, everyone knows that you always bring something special to your pay-per-view matches. Shawn nods, smiling. MICHAELS And everyone knows that YOU are mister P-P-V. RVD does the thumbs along with Shawn's words. VAN DAM That's right, and we know something about great pay-per-view matches. So do tonight's nominees. But there's like...um...ten, or twelve, o....shit, I lost count....wait, what's going on? MICHAELS Rob, are you....are you high?! RVD looks blankly at Shawn. MICHAELS ....Well. The winner of the OAOAST Pay-Per-View Match of the Year.... Michaels opens the envelope. MICHAELS WARGAMES!!!!! The crowd applauds....as several people stand up. In oe part of the room is Crystal, who looks tenatively at the others standing. Not too far from her is Hoff, her former rival turned friend. In another part of the room stands Calvin Szechstein, and he and Hoff exchange an unsure glance. AJ Flaire is seen backstage, happy about it, but not in a hurry to come backstage. The other participants in the match -- Gibraltar, Sly Sommers and Northstar -- are only notable by their absence. MICHAELS Well, this is awkward....hey, HEY WAIT!! ROB!! Before anyone can really react, Van Dam simply grabs the award statuette off of the podium and runs off. Michaels looks at him in shock, then starts to tun after him -- but then turns back to the audience. MICHAELS Well, congratulations to the winners!! A cheesy orchestral version of "Sexy Boy" plays as HBK chases after RVD, who pulls some Funnyuns out of his jacket pocket. Meanwhile, the four Wargames participants all sit down, never taking their eyes off of one another...as we go to our next award! COLE Our final nominee for Superstar of the Year is one you know only too well. Lets have a look at the quickest rise to fame of any wrestler in this company, the OAOAST Champion, Drek Stone. CRYSTAL He's some sort of prodigy, its unbelieveable. "Woke Up This Morning" begins, as we are treated to a shot of Drek Stone's debut in the OAOAST. The montage features his battles with The Mad Cappa, his victory agaijnst Panther in the Road to the Elimination Chamber, and finally his World Title victory at Thanksgiving Star Wars. HOFF I look forward to beating him. AXEL As do I, but it won't be easy. CAPPA One of the toughest guys to wrestle in the company, just a great wrestler. *Commercial Break*

COLE Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, we are getting into the big awards now. Our next two awards are two ofthe most prestigious singles awards in the business. So here to present Best Face, please welcome one of the biggest babyfaces in the wrestling world today - John Cena! CENA Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo. CROWD ..... CENA Is John Cena in the OAOAS-Tee, and everyon betta bow down and worship Mee, the Rock wanna-bee, pinnin JBL at Mania one two three. Yo yall, the Best Face is a tight award yall, tight like YO MAMA! OMG LOLZ2005! CHAIN GANG! THIS IS HOW WE DO IT! YO MY NAMES JOHN CENA AND I'M AWESOME! CROWD ...... CENA Uh... I'm not used to no canned heat, dis shit be wack! Nominees, mofos! Crystal, one of the most popular wrestlers in the history of the OAOAST, and a girl who has opened doors for women in wrestling like never before. Panther, the man who has been fighting off Chris Bryte all year on HeldDown and Pay Per View, and the man that everyone wanted to see win the Road to the Elimination Chamber and become the OAOAST Champion back in November. AJ Flaire, who, even with a severely broken back, still managed to make a comeback this past January when he faced off with Drek Stone for the Heavyweight Championship of the World. Gifted athlete who has captured the fans' imagination. The Mad Cappa, although he has turned on the fans now, Cappa was at one time one of those superstars who brought a crowd to its feet whemever he stepped into the arena. His major accomplishment of 2004? Beating PRL and ending that titanic feud. Sly Sommers, who was liked because, well, Zack Malibu didn't like him and Zack was a bad man. CENA And the winner be... Oh MY! DA WINNER BE CRYSTALLLLLLLLLLL! The crowd collectively goes 'yay', quite possibly because Cena is getting off of the stage. Crystal is seen getting out of her seat and almost knocking over a few drinks along the way, and then falling up the stairs on the way to accept the award. He staggers over to Cena who gives her the award, and begins her speech. CRYSTAL Like there was any doubt? Look at the competition! Whatta bunch of schmucks! Oh, I kid. But seriously, is schmuck a word? Because I use it all the time and would hate to use such improper English that excessfully. I'll go check... (Goes checks while the audience is murmuring in confusion. After a minute or two, she comes back a bit out of breath.) Alright, according to dictionary.com, it is a word, but it's slang. Whew, close call. I've been drinking a little. Apparently I'm a lightweight. (giggles) Thanks for the pretty trophy! OAOAST rules! (falls off stage) I'm okay! *applause* COLE Presenting the next award is an absolute legend in our business. Frankly, I’m shocked we actually got this superstar to appear on our awards show -- but to be honest, anything is possible when you’re writing for an internet wrestling federation. Hereto present his second award ofthe night is the one and the only….Nature Boy Ric Flair! Many of the wrestlers in the banquet room stand up and start applauding as Ric Flair slowly walks out through the curtains, strutting with every step. With wild, wide-opened eyes, Flair looks out at the group of superstars before speaking. FLAIR You know something? When Bill Watts called me and asked me to present an award here tonight, I said sure….anything to give my man Triple H an award! THE GREATEST WRESTLER OF ALLTIME! WOOOOOOOOO!!! Flair starts strutting around the stage once again, with the wrestlers looking on, somewhat less assured that the Nature Boy has the mental capacities to continue his speech. FLAIR Then Watts told me that you guys weren’t actually awarding Triple H for anything. So I thought about it some more, and said I’d still be happy to come out here. Until….he told me that it would be for the Best Heel of the Year! COLE ….uh oh. FLAIR Now let me tell you all something! The term “heel” is not something that should just be useed freely. These fans?! They shouldn’t USE OUR WORDS! They should be calling us Bad Guys and that’s it! THEY SHOULDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE WORD HEEL MEANS! When they hear the word “heel”……THEY SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT THE BACKSIDE OF A SHOE! NEXT, THEY MIGHT START THINKING WRESTLING IS FIXED! Cole starts motioning for Flair to wrap his speech up, but the Nature Boy is on a roll here. FLAIR DON’T ALLOW IT! DO. NOT. ALLOW. IT! KEEP…..THE SANCTITY…..OF OUR BUSINESS…..ALIVE! WOOOOOO! THAT’S WHAT THE NAITCHA BOY THINKS! Put up the nominees! Calvin Szechstein. Former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion. Outlasted 29 other superstars back in the Royal Rumble to defend his belt, and came very close to beating Zack Malibu at AngleMania III. Perhaps the glue that held Thrillogy together. Hoff. Responsible for some of the most heinous acts of 2004. Crippled AJ Flaire by giving him a spinebuster through a steel chair. Locked Axel in a casket and threw him off the stage. Much like Calvin, he was another essential member of the Thrillogy. Drek Stone. The current OAOAST Heavyweight Champion, and one of the most arrogant superstars to ever step into a ring. Always willing to insult his opponents or the fans, Drek will resort to absolutely anything - and I mean anything - to get what he wants. Chris Bryte. As said earlier, he was certainly one of the most prominent evil masterminds of 2004. Broke Tina’s heart at the altar, made sure to torture Panther throughout the year, and wreaked absolute havoc with The Hand along with the way. Ragdoll. His sheer sadism was realized near the end of 2004 as he did his very best to torment Axel and drive him out of the federation. Spitting a fireball into the Dark One’s face might be at the top of a very long list of evil actions for Ragdoll this year. FLAIR Well, with that out of the way, let me just say… Ric opens the envelope and smiles as he looks at the results. FLAIR SINCE THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A HEEL, DREK STONE IS THE BAD GUY OF THE YEAR!! WOOOOOOOO!!! The superstars in the building groan once again as Drek stands up from his seat with a wide smile on his face. He makes sure to grab his Rookie of the Year award and take it along with him as he walks up to the stage. Flair shakes his hand excitedly, then moves over to the side and watches as the Champion makes his speech. DREK Well, first off, I’m sure everyone here is thrilled I’m actually walking away with a second award! But if I’m being completely honest, I don’t understand the logic behind this. The way I see it, I’m not a heel. I’ve been the savior for this federation. Raising TV ratings single-handedly with my appearances on HeldDown. Many people have bought Pay-Per-Views simply because they heard I might be making an appearance. I’ve brought publicity to this federation through appearing on talk shows, magazine covers -- simply put, I’ve done more for the OAOAST than everyone else put together. And through it all, I’ve put my heart into every single aspect of it, providing the most entertaining result for each and every one of you. So, with all that being said…..JUST HOW IN THE HELL COULD YOU PEOPLE VOTE ME TO BE THE HEEL OF THE YEAR?! As Drek starts scolding the crowd filled with wrestlers and nerdy super-fans, Ric Flair starts to strut over the stage for absolutely no discernable reason. DREK If there’s anyone in this federation that should be labeled a face, it’s ME! I’ve conquered the most hated superstars to step into this federation -- AJ Flaire! Crystal! Panther! I’ve beaten them all solely for you….and you have the nerve to vote me as Heel of the Year! My god, I’ve braved walking through the slums of Detroit, Charlotte, Cocoa Beach….the entire state of New Jersey, for that matter. I’ve had the sheer nerve to step out and look at you slack-jawed yokels with the missing teeth and the coke-bottle glasses and the bellies hanging over their knees….and you all vote me as the Heel of the Year?! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU ALL THINKING AS YOU HELD THAT PEN IN BETWEEN YOUR GRIMY FINGERS?! Suddenly, Drek pauses for a moment and starts rubbing his chin lightly with his fingers. DREK Now that I think about it, I really am a pretty damned good heel. Well, I guess you folks got it right again. But make no mistake: I don’t actually thank any one of you. I earned this award ALL by myself -- which is what a typical heel would say anyway. Congratulations, yada yada, and so forth. At least I could rest easy in the fact that….HA! I have beaten Hoff a second straight time for an award we were both nominated for! See you all again later tonight when I win Superstar of the Year! As Drek holds his two awards up to the crowd and walks down the steps to his table, Ric Flair continues to march around without any regard for rational behavior. FLAIR WOOOOOOOOO!! FIRE ME!! I DON’T EVEN WORK HERE!! FIRE ME!! I DON’T EVEN WORK HERE!! FIRE ME!! As Flair struts around the stage, he then intelligently drops a knee drop across an imaginary opponent on the floor. Unfortunately, the Nature Boy soon comes to the realization that this isn’t a bouncy mat -- it’s actually a hardwood, non-gimmicked stage. Which is why this legend is now forced to hold his knee and roll around in actual pain. FLAIR SHOULD. NOT. HAVE. DONE. THAT. WOOOOOOOOO!! As Flair attempts to massage his knee, the camera simply moves away from him to focus on the next award instead. ANNOUNCER (over the PA) Please welcome our next presenter for the "Best Finisher" award.....BARRY HORROWITZ!!! "Hava Negila" or whatever that song is plays as Barry Horrowitz steps onto the stage. Horrowitz pats himself on the back before taking the mic. BARRY Now, I've been in a lot of finishing moves in my day... *canned laughter* BARRY But these nominees are the cream of the crop. The best of the best. The-- "WHAT?" Barry is cut off by a voice from the crowd. BARRY Huh... "WHAT?" A man stands up in the back of the room...and it's STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN. Suddenly, Jivin' J.R. bum rushes the stage. J.R. THE RATTLESNAKE!! THE RATTLESNAKE!! AUSTIN, AUSTIN, AUSTIN!! MAH GAWD! MAH GAWD!! MAH GAWD!! J.R. waddles back to his seat as Austin hits the stage. Barry turns to ask him what he's doing here...and EATS A STONE COLD STUNNER!!! The audience cheers as Austin flips Horrowitz the double bird! AUSTIN WHAT? "WHAT" AUSTIN WHAT? "WHAT" AUSTIN The nominees for Best Finisher are: video footage plays AUSTIN Leon Rodez' Because the Lady Loves... CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN Hoff's Future Shock... CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN Axel's Axel Slam... CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN Sly Sommers' Cravateface.... CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN And Ragdoll's Devil Doll. CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN I SAID THE DEVIL DOLL! CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN I SAID THE DEVIL DOLL! CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN WHAT? CROWD "WHAT?" AUSTIN WHAT? CROWD "WHAT?" Steve Austin smiles a big, Texas-sized grin as he opens the small envelope containing the winner's name. AUSTIN And the winner is....Hoff for his Future Shock! What? A horrible, jazz version of "Black" plays as Hoff steps up onto the stage. Hoff shakes hands with Stone Col', who offers him a Steveweiser. Hoff takes it and cracks it open, taking a sip before he turns to address the people. HOFF Wow. The audience cheers the popular big man. HOFF I gotta say, this is an honor. To be chosen for an award like this...I tell ya, there's no better award than something you can get for dropping people on their heads. The crowd laughs, as Hoff puts down his beer ad grabs the Angle Award statuette. HOFF But you know, there's one person I have to thank. Someone without whom this would never have happened. That man is.....IGOR STOYANOVICH. The SOVIET NATIONAL ANTHEM plays and in the back of the room, Igor gets up to a big cheer. Igor, the simple Russian, looks dumbfounded, looking up at a smiling Hoff. HOFF Come on, Igor, GET ON UP HERE!! Igor, in a RED tuxedo, slowly makes his way to the front of the room. He steps onto the stage, and shakes Hoff's hand, looking completely overwhelmed. HOFF Igor, my man. I don't know if you remember, since you got dropped on your skull...twice...but it was you who took the first-ever Future Shock, on July 15th, 2004. Do you remember? Igor nods....then says "no." HOFF Well, Igor, I do remember, and I just want to say thank you for being a willing victim. The crowd laughs. HOFF But seriously, after all that's gone down with us, you've stayed my friend and biggest fan, and so I just want to say thank you. CROWD Awwwwwwwwwww. Hoff throws one big arm around Igor's shoulders, and the two men smile genuine smiles. HOFF Now, I'm not gonna give you the Future Shock tonight, buddy. But I've got one in store for tomorrow. One for a certain somebody. The camera pans to the OAOAST World Champion, who is frowning. HOFF Drek Stone...tomorrow night, you've got a date with an Angle-Award winner. And when I hit you with it -- and I promise you, I will -- but when I hit you with this move, you will know why they call me the Future. See you tomorrow night, Drek. Keep my belt warm. Hoff exits the stage, with Igor in tow. Drek simply rolls his eyes, waving his arm in dismissal. COLE Now, lets take a look back on the year that was for one of the fastest rising Superstars in the OAOAST, Hoff. The first shot we see is that of The Thrillogy, standing side by side, with Hoff wearing the 24/7 belt. His theme music, "Black", begins to play to the montage, and we are then treated to footage of Hoff winning the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship from Crystal at World Without End. AXEL Amazing power and athleticism. A ring general. Throws a nice Spinebuster. ZACK Classic performer, draws the crowd in. CRYSTAL Always fun to work with. DREK Intense. CRAZY VAMPIRE I LOVE HIM! HE RULLLLLLLLLLLLES! *Commercial Break*

COLE Welcome back to the Two Thousand Five Angle Awards, looking back on the achievements of the OAOAST Superstars from the previous twelve months. Over the past year, there have been many people that have displayed incredible homosexual tendencies, thus causing everyone to assume that they are gay. Here to present the ‘Most Homosexual Tendencies’ Award, Ellen DeGeneres! ELLEN Well, thanks Michael, its great to be here for this night of nights. Having homosexual tendencies is nothing to be ashamed of, unless you live in the south. *mild laughter* ELLEN The nominees are… Stephen Joseph, creator of INTEN5E, and the man that pretty much fucked up the end of the Living Anglously Pay Per View. Tha’ Puerto Rican, a man whose life work is to replace the word ‘if’ with ‘when’ in the statement ‘when I win the OAOAST World Title…’ Northstar, the former General Manager of HeldDown, and a guy who acts gayer than Dustin Rhodes in Stamford. And Rick Shirley, the short lived but well remembered character with a lust for life, and other men. ELLEN And the Angle Award goes to… Rick Shirley! Shirley rushes up to the podium, obviously ecstatic at the award. SHIRLEY Thank you, thank yo- hey! Stephen Popick son shoves Rick Shirley out of the way, clutching a beautifully painted picture of FrigidSoul in his arms! POPICK Pssh, I should have never been nominated for this award anyway! You're all childish! Un-fucking called for! Popick square dances off stage, and Rick Shirley soon continues his speech. SHIRLEY Come on now, folks. Even I don't think I'm any more fruitier than that guy. Night, y'all. MWA! *applause* COLE Thanks to Ms. DeGeneres. Next we have two of the more interesting awards tonight, so here to present the Angle Awards for Best Feud and Best Entrance, please welcome two former OAOAST X Division Champions, AJ Flaire and K Money. AJ Hey Ken, you were involved in one of the most brutal feuds in OAOAST History, with your brother Austin, also known as Ragdoll. How did you capture that magic with him? K MONEY Well AJ, bottom line was at that time we were genuinely pissed off at each other, he was an addict; I was trying to maintain a career in the upper echelon of this business, so there was personal animosity there. I think it helps if a feud is personal, that makes it all the more entertaining to the fans. AJ I can name a lot of feuds that have surfaced in the last year that could be worthy of this award, but instead, I’ll let the voiceover guy take it away, and tell us the nominees for Best Feud of 2004. Zack Malibu versus Crystal. These two former friends became bitter rivals in spring of last year, all over the greatest title in our industy, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. This feud spawned many Pay Per View Main Events, including their classic battle at AngleSlam when Crystal finally realised a dream in capturing the OAOAST Championship. Sly Sommers versus Calvin Szechstein. Calvin saw potential in Sly and recruited him for Totally Endorsed, before turning on the boy to join Zack Malibu and his Thrillogy. Sly and Calvin had titanic battles from May of 2004 to July of 2004. Axel versus Ragdoll. Axel is, in Josie’s words, ‘like a brother’. He is a surrogate member of the Baker family. When he brought Ragdoll back from his addiction to the sport he loved, it looked like Ragdoll was happy for Axel, but soon one of the most bitter and personal feuds in OAOAST History began, culminating in the Careers Las Vegas Deathmatch at Bloody, Battered and Beaten. Drek Stone versus The Mad Cappa. The Rookie Monster in the first big feud of his career against one of the most beloved OAOAST Superstars of his time, The Mad Cappa. All about the OAOAST Puerto Rican title, which Drek renamed the Italian title. A brutal, match-of-the-year-candidate Hell in a Cell match finished this feud. Panther versus Chris Bryte. This feud lasted for nearly a year, and it never stopped being intense. The advantage switched so many times, but finally, after months of buildup, Panther emphatically ended it. Blurricane vs. Father. Father put Blurricane in the hospital and then manipulated the naive Rick Edwards into thinking that the entire OAOAST roster had turned on him. When he was found out, Blurricane was back, and he was out for revenge. *mild applause for the nominees* AJ Ken, would you do the honors… K MONEY And the winner of Best Feud for 2004 is… Zack Malibu and Crystal! AJ Wait a minute… Zack Malibu isn’t actually here to accept this award, and we have been informed that Crystal has had two, count-em, TWO glasses of wine, and is currently vomiting backstage. We’ll accept this award on their behalf, and say that it was a great feud while it lasted, and I was honored to be a small part of it, even if it meant getting my back broken. K MONEY We move onto Best Entrance. Now I think you'll agree with me here AJ when I say that an entrance can get any match off to a fine start. If an entrance can draw the crowd in and get them pumped up, then the match will be all the better. We have some good nominees for this category, and this year they are: Axel, who uses the same tactics as legends such as The Undertaker, intimidating his opponents from the moment 'Down With The Sickness' begins to blare. Drek Stone, who uses the well known Sopranos theme to amplify his Italian heritiage and make the fans boo from go to woe. Damaramu, who's entrance no one can really remember, unless it was against RYAN SMITH! OMG RYAN SMITH IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN BEAT HIM! LEAVE FEEDBACK! The Global Party Exchange, who get the crowd right into all of their matches with their happy, rocky entrance. Chicks dig them. AJ Star-studded lineup right there. OK, the Angle Award goes to... well, I'm happy with this: Axel! Shocked at the gong, Axel jumps out of his seat and plants a wet one on Crystal on the way through. He shakes hands with Hoff on the way through, and runs up to the stage, obviously pretty happy with the award. AJ and K Money congradulate him, and leave him to his speech. AXEL Well, wow, this is bloody alright, ay? Unexpected, but great guys, thanks to all those who voted. Its a great feeling to know that when you put some significant effort into your entrance, that it is appreciated. I try my hardest to make my entrance the most dramatic and entertaining that it possibly can be, and keep the fans guessing as to what is going to happen. I also want to thank all the people in the company who have given me the freedom to be creative, and all those people here tonight that have been with me throughout my career. Crys, Zack, Hoff, Drek, Ragd, AJ, Ken, all of you, thanks. *applause* COLE Thanks to AJ and K Money, two former great X Champions. Our third nominee for Superstar of the Year is, unfortunately, no longer with us. Let's have a look at a tribute to Sly Sommers. *no video plays, Cole looks confused* COLE Wha-what? There's no video? Zack vetoed - ah, right, ok ladies and gentlemen, there will be no Sly Sommers video, but he is one of our nominees tonight. He might not have too many huge highlights, but I'm sure he'll poll well. We'll be right back here at the 2004 Angle Awards. *Commercial Break*