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Their manager Mo Greene, who's stuck slumming it in OVW trying to get his WWE deal back. God, the WWE really screwed them up bad, as they usually do.

Obviously a lot of good names out there that would be worth having on the roster. It'll be interesting to see who they put out there.

We open with Ken Anderson in the locker room watching last week's show on a big screen TV. Clips are shown in black and white and letterboxed of last week's show as Anderson talks about them. God, this is so Tarantino/ECW style, with Anderson even cutting a Dreamer/Raven type ECW promo. Anyway, read last week's report. The jist of it is Anderson says he may not be a nice guy, but he'd never attack someone from behind. Anderson was impressed with Albright and says he's the man. He always does business face to face. Tonight you will see a different Mr. Anderson. Really cool intro to the show with Anderson's promo acting as a recap and a prologue to this week's show, almost in a sort of narrator context. Buy the frigging July OVW tape already. Let the BODIES Hit the Floor! Maria starts us off and she's lost her IQ points again. It's “Tank and Chad the Tolands” with a “Blonde Bombers” chyron. Ah, Jillian Hall with an unobstructed face. Maria interviews Jillian. Maria is all stupid again. Apparently the Tolands are the most dominant tag team in OVW history or something and they're going to face the winners of a Battle Royal (Seth Skyfire and Paul Burchill OMG SPOILERZ OF A HOUSE SHOW YOU CAN'T GO TO OR SEE UNLESS YOU HAVE A TIME MACHINE) at Six Flags. Anyway, Jillian talks about how they've beaten everyone and crap. They're going to draw two random names to fight them tonight. It's Deuce Shade. It's DA BEAST. Blonde Bombers (w/ Jillian Hall) v.s. Deuce Shade/Da Beast Dean Hill says Al Snow is going to be in the Hall of Fame. Yeah right. Da Beast is a small hoss but he looks huge compared to the midget Tolands. Hell, Maria looked huge earlier. Beast tosses the Tolands around until he punches one of them and then hurts his hand. Shade in. He does some cartwheels and moderately impressive moves but I hit FF because I only have a half hour before this week's OVW show starts. Anyway, Jillian inteferes but Shade fights her and Chad off, only to get booted by Tank. Snow isn't calling Toland Wicks this week. One of the Tolands hits the cravate about 3 minutes in. Shade goes for the hot tag at the four minute mark. Beast has left because he's “hurt”. Shade hits his lame comeback, gets cut off, vegematic gets the 3 at exactly 6 minutes. Winners: “The Tolands”. Da Beast stands in front of the announce table while Dean Hill and Al Snow run down the card for this week's show, blocking the camera so you can just see his backside. Cool shot. Hill says we'll talk to you after the break. Cornette's voice lives! Steal the GAB with OVW! OVW card guaranteed to be better than the GAB card! OVW in E-Town! We're back, and Da Beast is cutting a promo. Beast says he would fight for my bruddah, this ain't the streets and Shade isn't Beast's bruddah. Here comes Elijah Burke! He stares down Da Beast. He says Beast abandoned his partner out there. Beast says his hand in broke. Burke says you cross Shade, you cross me. Beast says “go wrestle”. Elijah Burke v.s. Russell Simpson. Some usual stuff to start. Burke reels him in like he's Petey Wiliams about one minute in. X-Factor. Snow says Simpson is done. 1-2-3! Your Winner: Elijah Burke (=~ 1 min) Let's go backstage where we see the camera move up in the hallway to Elijah Burke. Apparently our announcers can talk to the wrestlers this way. Albright has his arm slinged up... in fact it looks exactly like Orlando Jordan's arm was this past week (7/28) on Smackdown. Snow asks Albright for a comment. Albright has no comment about getting keylocked by Puder. Snow badgers him as he goes into the locker room. Doring, Roadkill, and Thrillseekers are in there. Snow gets another “no comment” from Albright. Cappotelli says that's messed up, that was the same move that almost took out Kurt Angle. Albright gets in his face and says Matt needs to show respect and be less concerned about what he did to Kurt Angle and be more concerned about what Puder did to Albright. He's sick of people talking about Kurt Angle. Matt says he needs to get out of his face because he's not the one going after Albright's OVW title... yet. Albright gives him a headlock with his good arm. Albright tells Jeter to control his parnter, which gets Jeter all pissed. Albright says he'll take on anyone as some random jobbers hold him back. OVW in Vernon! OVW in London... KY! Aaron Stevens and Beth Phoenix are out. Here's Ken Anderson out with a mic. He says he does things face to face, eyeball to eyeball. I would never do something behind your back... which brings me to HER. Because... if you'd have seen what she was trying to do in the locker room last week. Stevens turns to look at Phoenix... allowing Anderson to jump him from behind! Big DDT! Anderson shakes Stevens' hand. Rolling Samoan Drop (Rocca Roll). Up to the top... SWANTON BOMB! 3-count. Where'd that come from? Squash! Let's go backstage to where Maria and Alexis Laree are bouncing as Alexis is going to announce her big announcement. Beth Phoenix is whining about Stevens getting beat right off camera and the noise screws the interview up. Cat fight coming. Alexis says Phoenix shouldn't worry about the stuff in the ring from Idol, but who he's doing backstage. Slut! Hooker! Tramp! Maria gives us a “poopy pants”. They make a match for Six Flags and Idol pulls Phoenix away. Backstage, Seth Skyfire is cutting a promo about being in the Battle Royal at Six Flags. OMG the lights go out.. there's some crashing and noise of stuff flying around. Hahahahaha. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SOUL I'M GOING TO TAKE HOME WITH ME TONIGHT. HAHAHA ARE YOU STILL AWAKE? SHOULDN'T YOU BE SLEEPING? HISSSSS. GRUNT AAHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM DA BOOGEYMAN AND SOMEBODY'S GONNA DIE. EVIL LAUGHING. RIP Seth Skyfire Back at ringside, Hill and Snow have Lawlergasms over the prospect of Beth Phoenix v.s. Alexis Laree at Six Flags. They do some recap of stuff, particularly Ken Doane taking out Ric Flair at Six Flags. Nick Nemeth is out. He says last week Ken Doane, the 19-year punk gave him a RKO and blindslided him. He says Doane overlooked him. Kenny Bolin is out. He starts a promo but Nemeth starts choking him out. He pummels Bolin... but gets RKOed out of nowhere on the concrete! There's Ken Doane! Nemeth is dead. Doane hits the Orton pose in the ring. Jobbers are out to attend to Nemeth as we take a quick break. Doane says... look, is that Seven? Hey, redhead, I'm talking to you. It's Seven/Mordecai/Kevin Fertig. Wasn't he FIRED? He has the baseball cap of annoyance. Doane says you're an OVW legend. Rats chant “Seven”. Doane says if the has been had his gear on, he'd give him a TV title shot. Staredown in the ring. Refs separate them. Seven says he'll take the title and shove it up his ass. Doane says he doesn't have his gear and may not even have a ticket, he's not supposed to be in this building. One of the refs calls Doane chicken and he accepts the challenge. “The Golden Boy” Ken Doane (w/ Desiree) v.s. Seven Snow says Seven is on a “World Tour” and just stopped by OVW to say hello. Lots of stalling and a headlock. Hoss shoulderblock. Wristlock and shoulders against the arm and that's your two minutes of action. Shoulderblock. Headbutt. 2 count. Elbow. Clothesline. 2 count. Seven goes for Desiree. Doane goes for the RKO blow , low blow. Doane takes Seven's belt and WHIPS HIM LIKE A GUVAMENT MULE BY GAWD. Chris Kay notices the belt and takes it away. Stomps. Reverse chinlock takes us to the break! Big dropkick by Doane! 2 count. Knees, 2 count. Seven makes his Nash-like comeback, but Doane cuts him off with an eyepoke that gets 2. Doane unhooks the turnbuckle. Doane chokes out Seven with his wrist tape. Big headlock. Elbows by Doane. Headbutt misses. Seven with right hands and more right hands, clothesline. Clothesline. Whip to the buckle, splash, splash. Samoan drop. 2 count. He goes for another Samoan Drop, Doane gets out, ducks a clothesline... DOANEation! 2.99! Doane calls for the RKO.. blocked! Kick to the head, Seven goes for a powerbomb, Doane shakes free and flips off the rope to get to his feet, then hits an RKO! Seven is dead and motionless 3-count. Your Winner: Ken Doane (9:30) Backstage, Puder is coming to the ring. Next week, MNM returns to OVW! Backstage Ms Blue and Mike Mondo tend to Kenny Bolin, who is koed and is talking in a squeaky voice. Quite funny. He freaks out over a medical guy who has a plastic glove on his hand (ala a Prostate exam). Doane and Desiree come in. Doane says he took out Nick Nemeth 2x, Ric Flair, and Seven. One of these things is not like the others. He says this Friday Night at Six Flags, he's coming for Orton! Hill and Snow run down the card for Six Flags at the announce desk. Dan Puder comes out with a mic. Ken Anderson comes out and says he's disappointed in Puder. He says Puder is no man because a man doesn't hit people from behind. Face to face, eyeball to eyeball, blah blah. The day I attacks someone from behind is the day I'm just like you Puder, nothing more than a CHICKENSHIT! Puder says we can go right now. Albright runs in as the two circle. Anderson tries to get Albright to fight Puder. Albright looks to have the better of Puder as Anderson watches. Anderson hits Albright from behind! Puder locks in the keylock! Albright tries to fight out as we go off the air! We start with Maria in a hallway as MNM enter the Arena. Maria calls them former tag team championS causing Melina to choke a bitch. OH MY GOD. Melina says she doesn't want to hear that from a Raw girl. Nitro: “How'd she ever get a microphone?” O-V-Dub chants as we go to the ring! Dean Hill says there will be a big announcement or something Ken Anderson/Dan Puder v.s. James Smith and Jason Nelly Ken Anderson does the ring announcing. Looks like OVW finally bought a wireless microphone... which is EXTREME for Louisville. Anderson has a great announcer voice. He says the opposing team weighs in at “935 and ¾ pounds”. Anderson says he's the Franchise of O V Dub and a bunch of other stuff. He repeats his name a few time for kicks. Puder comes out and it's all knuckle-up time or something as he's all MMAed out. Puder starts out and is wrestling totally UFC style! Double leg takedown, waistlock, throwing the guy around. His partner in... sick double leg slam. Mounted punches. Fallaway slam! Ken Anderson gets tagged in and hits the swanton off the top for a 3 count! Anderson/Puder win! Backstage, MNM and The Tolands get in a confrontation over MNM stealing Jillian Hall from them. MNM says they're going to take back the Southern Tag Team Titles. Chad thinks Melina is kinda cute as we leave. Chett the Jet v.s “The Golden Boy” Ken Doane (w/ Desiree, Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin, Ms. Blue, and the TV title trophy) Doane puts the TV title on the announce desk. Desiree has a new name but I'm too lazy to decipher it (Sosay?) Shoulderblock, Hiptoss blocked, armdrag, another, armbar. Chops. Jet in control. 2 count. Chet goes up top, but Doane dropkicks him off the top! Looks like there's no more “Over the Top Rope = DQ” rule. Doane stomps away as Jet is hung up. 2 count. Elbow. Stone Cold Elbow. 2-Count. Doane chokes Jet with the tape on his wrist. Randy Orton headlock. Doane backdropped over the top rope but holds on, but gets backdropped back in. Clotheslines a plenty, head to the buckle. Stinger splash, bicycle kick to the face gets TWO. 10-punch count in the corner, pushed off, Doane on the 2nd rope.. jumps into a spinebuster for 2.99! Doane goes to bail but is stopped, some whips around and then RKO attempt blocked, Novocaine by Jet gets 2.99! Suplex reversed, spun around, Doane hits the RKO! 1-2-3! Your Winner: Ken Doane Nick Nemuth runs out. Grabs Sosay, kisses her. Doane pissed, Nemuth hits a baseball slide on Bolin. Chases Doane around the ring. Finally hits a RKO on Ken Doane! Play his lame Collective Soul Song. Nemuth hits the Doane ripoff of the Orton pose. Meanwhile in the locker room, MNM run into the Thrillseekers. Matt respects MNM because they represent OVW. MNM say that should have been a speech at Hawk's funeral, what a ruuush. Jeter says they'd like to wrestle them but they already have a match tonight. Matt says he can get that changed. They agree to wrestle later tonight, winner gets a title shot at the Southern Tag Titles. Tension between Jeter and Matt. Here comes Deuce Shade. Hill and Snow run down the next Six Flags card when Da Beast blocks the view of the desk. Deuce Shade v.s. Osama (w/ Mo Green) Total squash more or less for Shade. Hits the Deuce's Wild for the 1-2-3. Beast and Shade face off. Beat goes to hit Shade but his hand is hurt. MNM run into Brent Albright. Albright says the Tolands are a tough team. Any time, any place, he'll put the belt on the line if you guys want to see how tough you really are. MNM v.s. The Thrillseekers (Winner gets Southern Tag Team Title Shot, person scoring the winning pinfall gets an OVW Heavyweight Title shot) MNM get their titantron entrance, which is kinda lame. LOD chants. Great noncensored ass shot from the cameraman. This is your MAIN EVENT. Get a coke or something because this is a long one. First let's take a break. Match starts as we come back. Chris Kay your ref. Mercury and Cappotelli starting off. Collar and Elbow, both guys reverse and push each other around. Waistlock by Matt, reversed. Mercury takes him down. Bit of matwork, Matt gets up. LOD chants from the crowd. Another tieup. Headlock by Matt. Reversed to an armbar, back to the headlock by Matt now. Mercury reverses to his own headlock. Into the ropes, shoulderblock by Mercury, goes for the elbow but nobody home. Armdrag, armbar. Jeter in. Jeter off the top with an axehandle. Kick in the corner, Mercury tags in Nitro. Kicks tin the corner, kneelift, headlock. Into the ropes, shoulderblock, leapfrog on the 2nd try, armdrag by Jeter blocked, kick to the gut, Jeter goes for a Rocker Dropper but gets flipped... Jeter turns it into a rana! Kick to the gut, Matt in. Punch, Head to the buckle, Irish whip to the buckle. Nitro slides in REALLY fast but Matt jumps over him. Armdrag by Matt. Nitro grabs the hair, tags in Mercury, doubleteam in the corner. Head to the buckle, again, chop WOOO. GO MATT GO CHANTS. Chop. Mercury poses, turns around into a choke, Matt comes back with chops. Biiig powerslam, 2 count. Mercury grabs the tights and throws Matt into the 2nd turnbuckle. Nitro in. Double whip, double clothesline ducked, double clothesline by Matt!. Jeter in, double hiptoss, double nipup, double forearm to Mercury outside the ring. Jeter gets a 2 count. Whip, double sledge gets two. Nitro whips Jeter to the buckle, runs into a boot, another armdrag to an armbar. Matt in, axehandle to the arm, thumb to the eye, head to the buckle by Nitro, Mercury in. Suplex, reversed to a waistlock, Mercury pushed into the buckle, Matt follows him in and runs into an elbow. Whip to the buckle, Mercury runs into a boot, but gets pissed and lariats Matt over the top rope!! --- Nitro with the big kneelift. Nitro pose. Stomp. Punches. Modified Octopus-type hold from Nitro, into a real Octopus. Nitro exposes his back to the heel corner and tags in Mercurty, who smacks Matt in the back! Nice. Whip, knee to the gut. 2 count. Eddy Guerrero stomp to the face. Melina chokes Matt, which draws Jeter in. Doubleteam stomps. Nitro with kick to the abdomen. Double legdrop, Nitro in between the legs and Mercury on the neck as Mercury is tagged in. 2 count. Whip to the buckle. Big spear into the corner knocks Matt through the ropes. Matt pulled back in, waistlock but Matt draws on his Fighting Spirit. Matt tries to elbow out, but misses an elbow as Mercury releases the hold! Northern Lights Suplex (w/ Bridge) gets 2!! Headlock, Nitro in. Double gutbuster. 2 count. Belly to back suplex attempt, Matt lands on his feet, shoves Nitro into Jeter who punches him, Matt rolls around Nitro to get the tag! Jeter in Clotheslines, flying forearm, backbreaker, 2 count! Whip, a little sequence... jumping spin kick by Jeter(~!~!). 2.99 as Mercury pulls the ref out. Melina distracts the ref. Mercury throws Jeter into the ringpost! Aww yeah, extended Southern Tag Formula baby! Melina gets thrown out! WEGOTTAGOTOABREAK! As we come back from the 30-second break, Jeter tries to fight out of a headlock. Punches, Whip, reversed, sunset flip but blind tag before that! Nitro tagged in. Right hands, 2-count. Leglock by Nitro, Mercury tagged in and drops the leg, 2 count. Jeter tries to fight back as the crowd chants GO JETER GO. A couple punches create space until Mercury comes back with a sick kick to the head. Mercury puts his arm around the ref to tell him something while Nitro elbows Jeter on the apron. Slingshot into the bottom rope. Jeter outside and gets tossed back in. Whip to the heel corner, big clothesline. Nitro chokes him. Mercury steps on Jeter's throat, Nitro in. Headlock sets up crossfaces from Nitro. A couple more. Cravate~! Seriously, is Chris Hero an OVW trainer now? There's a cravate in every match now. 17 minutes in at this point. Punches and an armdrag frees Jeter, but Nitro knocks Matt off the apron! Jeter pulled to the heel corner. Big kneedrop by Mercury behind the ref's back. Suplex. 2 count. Crowd really starting to buzz. Backbreaker. Mercury mocks Heidenreich's arm motion. Big elbow. 2 count thanks to sloppy cover. Nitro tagged in, Mr. Perfect neck snap, Nitro slingshots into the ring with an elbowdrop! Nice! Matt breaks up the pin attempt immediately. Mercurty tagged back in, back rake. Another backbreaker into a submission attempt. Jeter kicks out of the hold. Jeter tries to get to his corner, but gets grabbed by the tights. Scoop slam reversed into a Jeter inverted DDT!! Race to Tag Time! Nitro in to stop Jeter! He grabs a leg but Jeter hops and tags in Matt!!! Punch, clothesline, whip, backdrop! Swinging neckbreaker. Punches in the corner. Whip, MNM sandwiched in the corner, big kneelift, jumping leg lariat on Nitro, Mercury clotheslined over the top rope. Big D'Lo Brown Legdrop... 2.999!! 20 minutes in! Whip, revsered, Mercury grabs Matt. Mercury is grabbed by the hair. Nitro goes to hit Matt, misses and hits Mercury! Rollup, 2.9! Crisscross, double clothesline! Melina back out with a chair. Kay tries to kick her out. Mercury nails Chris Kay from behind! He's out. Mercury takes the chair in the ring. He goes to blister Matt... hits Nitro!! Matt dropkicks the chair into Mercury's face, knocking him outside the ring! Cover, no ref! Matt goes to revive the ref, throws him into the ring gingerly. Matt and Nitro fight, Matt whipped into the ref on the apron! Kick to the gut. Chop by Jeter, Chop by Matt, repeat for about 30 seconds, double chop, double fist. Matt holds Nitro as Jeter goes for something, but Mercury lowbridges him! Lowblow by Nitro. 25 minutes gone. They call for the Snapshot. They hit it! No ref still. Nitro covers him. Mercury clals for another ref. 2.9999!!! Big pop for the kickout. MNM can't believe it. They go for another one, no double whip, they go for a flapjack... reversed into a double DDT! Matt goes up top. Melina knocks him off the top! Maria out... here's Heyman's contribution to the Southern Tag Team Formula... CATFIIIIGHT CATFIIIIGHT! ECW-style of course. About 3 or 4 refs are suddenly out to break it up (where were they earlier when the ref got bumped?) They get them broken up. Jeter finally gets up. All four men in the ring. DOUBLE SUPERKICK. 1-2-3! Both Chris Kay and Ray Ramsey (the other ref) count different people. About 27:30 all together. I rate that *** 3/4 Your Winners; The Thrillseekers... Your Number One Contender for the OVW Heavyweight Title is now... Matt Capotelli AND Johnny Jeter?? Fade to Black

That doesn't mean she can wrestle worth a lick. Probably can't. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> She developed a good rep as a wrestler back in the indies as Macaela Mercedes. God only knows if she has maintained that skill through all the surgical alterations though. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> How did a woman who already knew how to wrestle get past WWE HR? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Same way Nick Dinsmore got in, I believe she went to OVW on her own and then got signed to a developmental deal.

That doesn't mean she can wrestle worth a lick. Probably can't. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> She can, she's pretty good for a women's wrestler by WWE standards. Melina too.

Could be an error knowing Meltzer, but it wouldn't surprise me if Bret was on the flight since he lives overseas now.

They already cherry-pick whoever they want from indies. Most everyone they sign to deals is from some other indy promotion and then he goes to OVW to continue training. Most guys smarks like to see in indies are too small for WWE to have an interest in signing then. Dumping a bunch of money into random promotions around the country so they can draw 300 people isn't going to work.

They really dropped the ball on this one. Breaking kayfabe on the Kane/Lita storyline doesn't help either. Why didn't Matt mention he got fired? Hardy's promo was okay, but I agree in a couple months he's going to be back to curtain-jerking.

That seriously may have just been the best promo of Michaels' career... wow. And Michael Hayes was Larry Fling in the old Billionaire Ted skits, didn't look like him tonight though.

Melina is actually good worker but there's only so much you can do with a non-wrestler like Torrie Wilson. Put her against a Trish or Victoria and she'd look much better. Although WWE has done well with MNM compared to most of the teams, they've definitely messed up by putting more focus on Melina. In OVW, all three of them were on equal status, neither of them was "the leader", and it worked beautifully. The sum of the three is greater than the individual parts. These guys were Cornette's baby for a year or so and it shows with the various influences the characters have (it's no accident that Melina reminds you a little of Tammy Sytch). They just had a 4-star, 30 minute match with the Thrillseekers in OVW on TV this Saturday. If Spanky is coming back, I'd love to see he and London reteam and feud with MNM for the belts.

This is the kind of thing people have been talking about for at least a couple years as far as the WWE product goes. I really doubt Raw is going to completely tank and become pure Sports Entertainment since HHH is there and he's a huge Flair/NWA golden era mark. There's enough good stuff going on, plus Cornette has made me a mark for a lot of the misused OVW alumni that I'll keep watching. WWE long ago lost me from the B-Shows and I'm definitely not afraid to miss the crappy parts of Smackdown. I roll my eyes at the parts that make me embarassed to tell anyone I watch this stuff. This last week was bad and there's a glut of bad angles at the moment, but there's fortunately some pretty good ones. Not saying it's great TV right now but things have been a lot worse. As long as they keep rolling up a decent/good match or two on all the shows, it'll be hard for them to lose me, although I'm definitely more of a fan of TNA and OVW than WWE at the moment. About the "new fans", if people started watching in 1998 and stuck around this long, they're there for the wrestling and not for the storylines. The only pet peeve I have with them is people who were literally kids back then (who are now 15-16) trying to act like they know everything and lecturing me on how some of those angles went. But hey, I did the same thing on RSPW back in 96 or 97, so I guess that's part of being an Internet Smark In Training.

The summer of 99 is when Nash had booking power and it was *really* bad. The Nash/Savage feud was probably the worst of all time since Macho Man had roided up and lost all wrestling ability and Nash never had any to begin with.

More like trying to get a split crowd.

Best promo by Michaels since 1998, easily. And there's going to be women screaming for him no matter what he does, that doesn't make him a face.

We are now leaving THE TWILIGHT ZONE on Louisville's WBKI! Stay Tuned for A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT From OVW Owner Danny Davis Davis in here in a pretaped statement in front of a blue screen. In 1999, OVW got the chance of a lifetime when Jim Cornette joined OVW. Jim worked tirelessly to provide OVW as the premiere training ground for WWE. His good friend Jim Cornette is stepping down from OVW's matchmaker position and the TV commentary position. Instead, he is pursuing other avenues to expand OVW and it's operations (SCREW YOU WWE!) Davis thanks Cornette for all his accomplishments in the wrestling industry. LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOR! THQ'S DESTROY ALL HUMANS PRESENTS: OHIO VALLEY WRESTLING Your Hosts are Dean “ie the Martini” Hill and Al Snow Your Booker is Paul Heyman (!) Taped from the New Davis Arena in Louisville, KY on July 13th Let's take you to the ring where Maria(!) welcomes us to OVW and introduces Danny Doring and ROADKILL. Dang, Lillian better watch out, she's got potential. Loud “E C DUB” chants. Doring goes to kiss Maria but Roadkill covers his mouth since that's not the Amish way apparently. AND YOUR NEXT TAG TEAM... it's the Thrillseekers. Danny Doring and ROADKILL v.s. The Thrillseekers (Johnny Jeter and Matt Cappotelli) Dean Hill at ringside with Al Snow. Hopefully Heyman can keep them on track. Snow continues Cornette's tradition of giving Hill a new nickname at the start of the show. This is a rematch from Six Flags (which actually happened after this match was taped... how confusing!). Hill gets his “Chris Kay is your referee, kickin' things off on the Dubya B” catchphrase in. Jeter and Doring to start. Tie up, waistlock. Wristlock. Punches by Doring. Snow is exciting to be back on the air in OVW. Go Jeter Go chants!. Blind tag to Captoelli whose last name I will misspell differently every time this week.. Some kind of neckbreaker by Jeter and then Matt bounces off the ropes a few times and hits the D'Lo Brown legdrop. I'm sure Matt is going to get some lame fake first name from South Park now that Hardy is back (Stan? Kyle?). 2 count. Jeter in off the top rope on an axehandle. Thumb to the eye, clothesline by Doring to get back control. Roadkill in. Clubbering forearms. Whip to the ropes... BLACK HOLE SLAM! Jesus, they're teaching every moderately big guy in OVW that move now. Big Slam, sidewalk slam to Cappotelli. Vader bomb off the 2nd rope on Jeter. Jeter kicks out. Jeter fights back with fists. You can already tell these guys are wrestling harder than in the Cornette era. Cornette's name I also frequently misspell typing it up for some reason. Doring in... HART ATTACK. 2 count when Cappotelli breaks it up. Roadkill comes in but the ref actually stops the heel! Doring goes for a suplex by Cappotelli catches Jeter on the way down... double superkick!! 3-count Winners: The Thrillseekers Tonight, The Shooter v.s. “Mr” Ken Anderson. Let's go to pretaped comments from Ken Anderson in the locker room as he tapes up his fists. Tonight he's going to be OVW champion and that will bring him a lot of opportunities. He wants the whole world to know who I am. One thing, eyeball to eyball, that's how I do business man to man. Tonight I'm willing to do anything, anything... to take your title. Tonight there will be a new OVW Heayvweight Champion. His Name is Ken Anderson. Good promo. Cornette's Voice LIVES. OVW Live at the Derby Park Expo 5! Steal the WWE PPV the Great American Bash with OVW! Dean Hill voices over a bumper for OVW in Etown Ky. As we come back, Doring grabs a cameraman backstage (!!, no magic invisible camera), and goes to the Thrillseekers with Roadkill. Doring says you guys beat us tonight and you guys are the better tag team. He shakes their hand. You guys made believers out of us. If anyone in OVW is not a believer, they can go choke... “THEIR CHICKENS” says Roadkill, as he does his pose. The Thrillseekers start laughing and shake their hands and say “that guy's cool”. “The Giant Killer” Mike Mondo is out. No Bolin at the moment because he's in a meeting with Ken Doane. Mike Mondo v.s. Elijah Burke Wow, this should be good. Chain wrestling to start. Mondo gets a headlock, whip, Mondo holds on to the afro. Burke gets a headlock and then he grabs Mondo's hair when he tries to run out of it. 2 count. Shoulderlbok, Leapfrog---> atromic drop, dropkick, 2 count. Back to the headlock. 2 count. Another shoulderblock. Clothesline off the 2nd rope misses and Mondo gets a 2 count. Crossfaces to Burke. Burke comes back. Kneedrop by Mondo gets 2. Snow isn't annoying yet tonight which is an improvement. Face to the knee by Mondo. Reverse neckbreaker, 2 count. Another 2 count. Another 2 count. Mondo hits the boring CHINLOCK! Burke makes goofy faces and sticks out his hand to channel the crowd's FIGHTING SPIRIT . Mondo hits a sleeper, countered with a jawbreaker. Right hands, right hands. Big uppercut, clothesline, Russian legsweep, 2 count for Burke. Sky high powerbomb... 2.999! Burke calls for it, blocked, rollup blocked. Mondo hotshots him on the top rope, grabs the tights... 2.99!! Afro to the turnbuckle. Whip to the corner, Mondo rolls through but gets backslided.. 3 count! Your Winner: Elijah Burke 2 for 2 so far. The lovely Maria is backstage with Alexis Laree. Maria got a brain transplant apparently that only works in Louisville. Laree says today is going to be a career changing moment. Anderson interrupts her and says he's going to be getting a title shot and all the hot chicks in Kentuckiana are gonna want to want to be with me. Go buy me some ham and eggs (points to Alexis). Laree looks pissed. Anderson says if you're pissed that I'm not a Southern Gentlemen, do something about it. Laree calls him a jerk and makes a hand like she's going to claw him but leaves out of the camera frame. Anderson says he's not a jerk, he's a BLEEEEEEP. He goes to hit on Maria but Albright interrupts him. Albright says try beating up on someone your own size. Anderson fakes being scared. Albright slaps him. Hey Ken Anderson, I just picked a fight with you, and I'll see you in the ring TONIGHT. Staredown! Man, Heyman really gets how to book these guys, that sounded like a Benoit promo. OVW returns to the VERNON Gym, call Jerome Croney for info! They actually give out his phone number on air. OVW in London, KY! It's slow-motion highlights of Randy Orton and audio of a phone call from Randy Orton. He apologizes to the fans for missing the last Six Flags Show. Orton says he is the Legend Killer and runs down everyone who he's beaten and how he was in Evolutoin, longest reigning IC champ, youngest WWE champion, blah blah blah. Orton says he's coming down July 29th to confront Ken Doane and put “an end to your mouth”. Quick cut to the ring where Ken Doane (w/ Desiree and Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin) is in the ring. RKO Chant. Doane says he hears it everywhere. He says bull@#$%. I will prove once in for all that I am the future of the business today. Blaster Lasheley is there too, apparently. He says he's going to beat Orton with the RKO not because he likes the move, but because he can. Randy Orton, after Six Flags, I hope you enjoy being number two, because Ken Doane is number one. Bring out my opponent. OVW TV Champion “The Golden Boy” Ken Doane (w/ Bolin Services) v.s. Nick Nemeth RKO immediately when Nemeth hits the ring! Nemeth is dead. Doane hits the Orton Pose as Desiree starts grinding up and down on him. No match, apparently. Doane is still frozen in the ORTON POSE as we go to break. Six Flags Summer Sizzler. Ken Doane v.s. Randy Orton in a RKO Challenge. More Matches NEXT WEEK. Let's go to the BOOGEYMAN backstage. B-O-O-G-E-Y-M-A-N. (to the tune of the ABC song) I'M DA BOOGEYMAN. AND SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE. SO TONIGHT AFTER THIS TV SHOW IS OFF THE AIR HAAHA YOU ALL GO TO SLEEP NOW YOU HEAR HAHAHAH EVIL LAUGHING Hill calls the Boogeyman twisted. I think it's twisted that someone thinks this gimmick is a good idea. Here comes the Tag Team Champions, the Blonde Bombers w/ Jillian Hall. The Blonde Bombers (Tank and Chad Toland w/ Jillian Hall) v.s. Seth Skyfire and Chris Cage. Wow, this should be good too. Hill calls the Bombers “Tank and CHAD THE TOLANDS”. Cage is Tank Toland's former tag team partner from a year ago and Skyfire's partner was injured by these two, so these team makes a lot of sense. Tag Belts on the line... NEXT Everyone in the ring to start, and it comes down to Cage and Tank to start. Backdrop. Whip to the buckle, Tank comes off and runs into the Hitman Bulldog. Kneedrop. 2-count. Double whip, double hiptoss, double elbow and Skyfire is in. 2 count. Kick to the gut. Chad in. Kicks to the gut. Wristlock. Flippy flop to reverse to a headlock. Shoulderblock. Snow calls Chad Toland “Chad Wicks” a few times since he hasn't made his quota of fucking up the commentary this week. Hiptoss blocked by Chad, duck, spinning headscissors by Skyfire. Tank comes in to interfere but Skyfire comes off the top rope over the ref to give him a spinning kick! I can only describe the next move as a body walk dropsault. Skyfire whipped to the buckle but climbs to the top... this side kick misses! Snow calls Chad “Wicks” again. 2 count. Tank in. Punch to the back. Face to the knee. Elbowdrop. 2 count. Chad back in. Punches to the back. Whip to the buckle, stomp. Tank in, Chad holds the legs up so Tank can drop an elbow. 2 count. Cravate(~!). Jillian Hall slaps the canvas with her hands which causes FIGHTING SPIRIT(~!) to transfer from the crowd to Skyfire. The cameraman zooms in a bit on her implant breasts bouncing upppp and down, uppp and down. Armdrag. Chad gets backdropped but Skyfire hurts his back. Trading punches. Chad takes out Chris Cage. Skyfire flips off and goes for a tag but there's no Cage! Chad up to the top, Vegematic! This gets a “JESUS H. CHRIST” from Dean Hill. You Winners: “The Tolands”. Ken Anderson hits the ring and grabs the mic since he hasn't had enough promo time. He high-fives everyone. Don't go anywhere... because I want you sitting front row and show you how good the OVW Heavyweight title looks on MEEE KEN ANDERSON. Let's get this show started! Albright get your BUTT out here riiight freaking noooow! UP NEXT IT'S ABOUT TO SPLODE! OVW Heavyweight Title Ken Anderson (w/ Jillian Hall, Chad, and Tank Toland) v.s. Champion Brent “The Shooter” Albright Skyfire and Cage are still being helped out of the ring when we come back. This is your TV main event. It looks like Cage and Skyfire will stay at ringside to protect Albright's back. Dan Puder is out. He stares down both men! Ken Anderson, you're the hottest prospect in OVW today, you took my spot... I want it back!! Hold on one second. Brent Albright, you are the OVW Heavyweight Champion. You're a shooter, well, I'm a shooter too. I hooked Kurt Angle with my keylock but I had to show him mercy to protect his career. I think I can do that to you too. Puder challenges the winner of this match... at Kentucky Kingdom. Puder looks a lot bigger than he did on Smackdown, probably because OVW is full of midgets now. Anderson and Albright lockup, Albright goes for a waistlock and does some mat wrestling which is nifty but I'm too lazy to describe here. They roll around a bit, amateur style. Albright finally gets a headlock. Armbar setting up for the crowbar. Anderson reverses. Albright runs Anderson out to the floor to break the hold, then Anderson comes back in and is dumped out of the other side. Cage and Skyfire toss him back in the ring. Anderson takes Albright into the buckle. Anderson looks like mini-Heindreich if he was about 6'2” and could wrestle. Albright goes for the crowbar but Anderson gets to the ropes. Kick to the gut, punch to the back by Anderson. Back to the turnbuckle. Clubberin on the back. Weak “GO Brent Go” chants. Whip to the buckle, undersold by Albright. Albright does his own whip falls down on the way and then Anderson crashes on top of him with a headbutt. My, that was convoluted. Hall distracts the ref. Tank clocks Albright. Cage and Skyfire brawl with Tank and Chad out of the building. Ref does the 10 count, Albright and Anderson get up. Anderson goes for a cheap shot but bails when Albright sees him. And we go to an abrupt break. We're back, both men circling, Anderson with a punch. Punch. Okay, maybe he's not much better than Heidenreich. Head to the buckle. Zzzz. Choked on the ropes. Punch. Belly to back suplex. 2 count. Pace really slowed down. Anderson looks a little gassed after five minutes. Kick to the gut, punch, punch. Albright back with rights. Whip to the ropes, reversed, Anderson elbow. 2 count. Cravate! Is Chris Hero training for OVW now? Albright punches out, Anderson punches him in the back a few times. Choke. Rake to the eyes, more choking, fishhook. Snow says Anderson is totally off his game. Punch, Albright comes back with some stiff looking rights. Anderson clocks him with a flurry of rights and Albright is out on his knees... big boot off the ropes from Anderson! 2 count, no leg hooked. 2 count. 2 count. Snow oversells. Forearm, whip to the ropes, clothesline ducked, Albright gets the waistlock, DRAGON RELEASE SUPLEX! (Called WHATTA Suplex). Albright goes for the pin, gets 2.9. Dean: How in the wide world of sports is he able to kick out of that? Albright chops away on Anderson, whip, backdrop telegraphed and kick by Anderson. Suplex blocked twice... ROLL OF THE DICE by Albright! Nice sequence. 2 count. Forearms by Albright. Whip to the corner, revesred, Anderson gets him and gives him a rolling slam from a Samoan Drop position. 2.999! Albright is dead... Anderson goes for a big neckbreaker, reversed by Albright into a Dragon Sleeper, then straight into the crowbar!!! Anderson taps like crazy. Your Winner: Brent Albright. Snow sells it like we just saw Flair/Steamboat. Hey it was a good match, I admit. Albright gets his hand raised. Crowd chants “YOU TAPPED OUT!” Anderson calls for the music to be cut off. Anderson and Albright shake hands because they respect the Code of Honour. Anderson leaves... Albright poses, Puder runs in and hooks in the keylock, Anderson tries to roll out but Puder is shootin! Albright pounds away on him. Anderson and a bunch of refs try to pull him off, but they can't break it! Al Snow comes in and since he's a badass or something he breaks the hold. Puder looks over Snow and Albright. Puder SUCKS chants. Snow calls for medical attention. WHAT HAS PUDER ACCOMPLISHED TONIGHT? Nice debut for Paul Heyman in the booking spot, with good angles and better wrestling than we have seen in OVW in a long while.

This was a great show... Joe/Dutt was better than Crazy/Rey or Benoit/Eddy on Smackdown which is really saying something. Probably the best Impact they've ever had fairly easily. I liked the Raven/Jarrett stuff since they have a good history in TNA. It's easy to hate Jarrett when he's playing off his backstage character and I can handle him having a two month feud with Raven if he finally goes out of the main event after that. Loved how they played off the PPV finish.

Most everyone is on roids in WWE. You don't look super ripped without using something, that's why you didn't see guys with those physiques back in the 1950s.

I assume Spike will send out a release announcing their Saturday Night lineup at a later date. Doubt we see much mainstream stuff from them until September.

Stuck between UFC and Stern it'll do better than a 1.0 easily.

Bring back "This Year's Model" Mark Magnus!

I guess Mark Magnus can join the FBI since he's Italian.

Saturday Nights isn't a bad slot for wrestling. The Saturday Night show on TBS was the NWA and later WCW's flagship program until Nitro. And of course, there's Saturday Night's Main Event for the WWF. Just glad to see TNA get a deal, hopefully they do well enough for Spike to move them into a weeknight primetime alongside UFC.

Yeah, I always heard he was supposed to come back at WM 17 and be a guest ref or something, not wrestle a match. Michaels was in real bad shape after RR in 98 (even though he was drugged up at WM 14, you can see him cringe about 10 min into the match for the rest of the way). I know he didn't have surgery for quite a while afterwards, close to a year, and he was trying to let himself heal up naturally. People still thought he couldn't handle wrestling more than an occassional match (the old "one bad bump and you're crippled!" idea) until Summerslam 02. He gradually worked up to more or less a full-time schedule over the next year or so after Summerslam 02, although he takes some time off fairly regularly. It's really amazing that he's gotten a second chance at his career, and his stuff over the past year and a half is at the same level or better than his 1995 stuff (HBK/Jericho, HBK/Benoit, HBK/Benoit/HHH, HBK/Benjamin, HBK/Angle).

Looks like everyone else besides those 20 guys gets no payday... too bad! *WAY* too many singles matches.

Pretty clear this isn't his last singles match. I know he and Austin have both talked about wanting to wrestle each other.