OVW TV Report for 7/9/05:
The Last Dance or Cornette's Last Stand...
Taped on 7/6/05 from the New Davis Arena in Louisville KY
Let the BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!
Your Hosts are Jim Cornette and Dean “The Howard Cosell of Kentuckiana “ Hill
Tonight, Elijah Burke v.s. “The Golden Boy” Ken Doane (ooo, what a match to go out on!), war between Team OVW and Bolin Services, the controversy continues between “The Shooter” Brent Albright and Aaron “The Idol” Stevens, my gawd, it's deafening in here!
Chris Cage/Nick Nemeth v.s. ???
I really like the look of Cage and Nemeth as a team coming out. We'll see how they look in the ring. And their opponents...
It's Danny Doring and Roadkill (w/ Tank Toland, Chad Toland, Ken Anderson, and Jillian Hall). Cornette tells us these two are the former World Champions who will fight the Thrillseekers at Six Flags. I mark for how Dean Hill announces Roadkill's name. Roadkill does the pose! Chris Kay is your referee, kickin things off on the WB!
Cornette says it looks like Roadkill came off the top of a wedding cake, and being former ECW World Tag Champions was like being the “nicest guy in prison, it's not much of an honor”. Doring and Cage start. The Tolands join us for commentary. Basically, the Thrillseekers have to beat Doring/Roadkill to get a shot at the Tolands aka the Blonde Bombers these days. Doring/Cage work off a headlock. Leapdrog, dropkick, 2 count by Cage. Nemeth and Roadkil in. Roadkill pose! Kick to the gut, crappy punches, Nemeth punches away on Roadkill, then hits a spinning headscissors that looks all crappy cuz Roadkill is selling it. Doubleteam, double elbow on Roadkill, 2 count. Cornette says “Roadkill is living up to his name”. Roadkill runs into an elbow, dropkick off the 2nd rope by Cage gets 2. Tank says on commentary they're being good spots to even let the Thrillseekers have a chance to get a title shot. Cage collides with Doring after being whipped into the ropes, and Roadkill gives him a slam. Vaderbomb off the 2nd rope gets 2. Doring in now. HART ATTACK! 2 count. Doring stomps away, drops some elbows. Roadkill in, kick to the gut. Scooop slam. Roadkill goes for a splash off the top, but he misses. Doring in, Cage rolls out of his way and tags in Nemeth. Punches for everyone! Backdrop! Dropkick. Superkick to Doring, Roadkill breaks it up. Cage in on Roadkill. The ref acttually does his job and gets Cage out of the ring, allowing Roadkill and Doring to doubleteam Nemeth. Roadkill holds Nemeth in a wheelbarrow position and Doring comes off the top rope with a legdrop to vegamatic him! 3 count. I'm sure that has some sort of ECW name but my mind is blank. Weak ECW chants.
Next, an interview with team OVW!
Derby Park Expo 5, steal the next WWE PPV with OVW!
See RAW LIVE with BATISTA, HHH, Benjamin, Ric Flair, and CHRIS BENOIT, plus Chris Jericho, Trish Stratus, Edge and MORE
Cornette is at the announce desk introducing a recap. It started as a tag match but ended in a riot!
<Burke in. Hiptosses. 2 count. Shade back in with a slingshot splash. Mondo with a clothesline. Lasheley in illegally but Burke takes it to him. Shoulderblock, flying forearm takes him down. X-Factor on Mondo but the ref is distracted. Ken Doane in and hits a NICE RKO on Burke. Mondo gets the 3 count!
A couple other refs come from the back and try to tell the ref what happened (Doane cheating), but Mondo takes them out. Bolin waves to the back... it's BIG GUIDO. Cornette says “By gawd, he's gotta be 7 feet tall!”. A bunch of jobbers come out of the back but Guido holds them off. We gotta get some help. Cornette says he has no business in the ring. Burke's eye is busted up. We're outta time! Bolin has declared WAR!>
Back “live”, here comes Elijah Burke and Deuce Shade to the ring. They play Shade's music which disappoints me greatly. Cornette introduces them and shakes their hands. Cornette says this Friday, Bolin Services is going to have a war! Shade says Bolin Services has declared war. You can tell he got the Jimmy Snuka Jr gimmick because he can't cut a promo to save his life. Shade says he made a few calls to Vegas and talked to a bookie. All the odds, everyone is betting on Team OVW. Shade knows the bookies at thegreek.com? They are going to experience some bombs from Team OVW. Burke says he knows about experiences, he had 8 experiences last week from the vicious attack last week. It failed in comprarsion to what they're going to do to BS. Brother this is a war we're gonna finish. Come 6 flags, me Deucemaster, we're gonna get funky like a monkey!
Cornette says this isn't a normal tag match, this is going to be a COWARD WAVES THE FLAG MATCH. The match can't be stopped until the cornerman for one team waves the white flag. Bolin will be in one corner... and the other cornerman is going to be... Jim Cornette! He's going to be there. Whoops, that might be a problem, now you've screwed over a Six Flags event WWE. Cornette calls Bolin a gutless coward and he's going to be waving the flag. Cornette doesn't care, he's never going to wave the flag even if his guys have bones sticking out of their legs. Cornette says Bolin is a gutless coward, and when he sees his life investment Bolin Services in the middle of that ring pummeled in the middle of the ring, he's going to wave the flag. His wrestlers can beg the referee, but the ref will say he can't stop it, only Bolin can. Team OVW is going to make sure Bolin Services has the worst day of their life.
Update on the OVW title... next!
Six Flags Summer Sizzler Series. Randy Orton face to face with Ken Doane. Team OVW v.s. Team Bolin Services. Cornette says he'll be in Team OVW's corner again here. Brent Albright v.s. Aaraon “The Idol” Stevens. Thrillseekers v.s. Doring/Roadkill. Plus two more BIG MATCHES!
Cornette is gonna talk and take us back to last week... ZZZZ. Read the report. Basically Idol slaps the figure four on Albright after the match outside th ring.
Let us take you to pretaped comments from Brent Albright, being interviewed by Maria. Maria doesn't sound like a ditz. Albright says it's going to take more than one submission hold to hang with the shooter. You can't hang with a 7-time freestyle wrestling champion who has the most devasting hold in pro wrestling today, the Crowbar. On July 15, it's going to be the crowbar v.s. The Idollock. After the match, the title and your arm all go home with me! Great promo.
Here comes
Aaron “The Idol” Stevens” (w/ Beth Phoenix) v.s. Chet the Jet.
Fat ringrat chants for Chet. Idol backs Chet into the corner. Cornette explains how the top-rope rule works in OVW. Chet taunts Idol as he gets the better of a couple exchanges. Shoulderblock. Akward wrestling sequence. Lots of headlocks and headscissors but it looked sloppy. Kick to the nuts by Chet, suplex. 2 count. Chop, chop, whip to the buckle, reversed, elbow, Phoenix on the apron and rakes Chet's eyes. Chop block, kick to the knee a few times by Idol. Idol cranks on Chet's knee. Some unique legwork offense here. Chet fights back but gets kicked in the knee. He goes for another kick to the knee but Chet spins around and clotheslines him. Plenty of punches. Suplex into a Falcon Arrow for 2. Chet screws up, hits his knee on the buckle, Idol-Lock! Chet taps! He won't break the hold. Here's Brent Albright. He rolls Chet over, reversing the pressure of the figure-four and then locks in the Crowbar on Stevens' arm. Stevens taps like crazy. Phoenix rakes both their eyes to break the hold up.
We'll be back with Seth Skyfire in action!
Raw LIVE in Louisville with all the RAW SUPERSTARS... and BATISTA AND CHRIS BENOIT
Seth Skyfire v.s. Cliff Compton. I smell Boogieman run-in. Cornette says it sounds like Beatlemania when Seth Skyfire comes out to the ring. Spinning headscissors is botched. Cornette says Seth Skyfire is “So quick he's sudden, and any other Gordon Solie cliches I can think of”. Running dropkick. Oh noes, it's the HALLOWEEN MUSIC! Cornette says “our sound man has obviously made a miscue”. My god, it's the Boogieman out from the ring apron. He's got INFLATABLE HORNS ON! And a STAFF! Cornette says he must have been under the ring since this afternoon. Cornette says this man has a history of violent assault. The wrestlers and refs bail. He definitely has Warryah style facepaint on. Cornette says this man lied about his record when he was on Tough Enough. He gets the mic and goes
HAHAHAHA. He says the Itsy Bitsy Spider song and the crowd laughs. BOOGIEMAN. BECAUSE YOU CHILDREN FEAR BOOGIEMAN HAHAH! YES AND YOU ADULTS YOU BEGIN YOU PRETEND LIKE YOU NOT AFRAID OF the BOOGIEMAN WELL YOU SHOULD BE HAHAH YEAS THIS FRIDAY NIGHT WHEN DARKNESS FALLS ON SIX FLAGS HAHAHA. YES I WILL MAKE ALL OF YOU BELIEVE IN the BOOGIEMAN BECAUSE THE BOOGIEMAN IS REAL THE BOOGIEMAN IS HERE THE BOOGIEMAN WILL MAKE YOU BELIEVE WILL MAKE YOU ALL BELIEVEEE BOOM-SHAKKA-LAKKA! (Yes, I'm not shitting you, he said "BOOM-SHAKKA-LAKKA" like he just dunked in NBA Jam).
It took him about 2 minutes to say that.
ROTFL, that was GREAT! Cornette says Six Flags is no place for someone this mentally unstable. This totally worked on a Plan 9 from Outer Space Level. Crowd chants “BOOGIEMAN”. He goes after some little kid in the front row, and goes out the emergency exit BACKWARDS as Cornette screams to go to break!
Okay here comes Bolin Services. Here's Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin, Ms. Blue, “The Giant Killer” Mike Mondo on Big Guido's shoulders FBI-style, Blaster Lasheley, “The Golden Boy” Ken Doane with Desiree and the TV title trophy. Whew. Dean Hill is doing this interview. He says Bolin Services will have all they can handle at Six Flags this weekend. When it comes to Randy Orton, Ken Doane can handle anything.
This Friday night, Ken Doane will prove why he is the best in the business today. He says Orton's record will be dust in the wind. Bolin says he's a ruthless heartless CEO and he could care less about the wrestlers' pain. He'll never wave the flag. He asks Mondo if he wants him to wave the flag and Mondo says he'll never surrender. Don't ever utter those words again. You want a war, you've got a war. You want a fight, you got a fight. It's going to be a dog fight, because we're going to punch and kick and do whatever it takes to survive. Ms. Blue hands a Boxing Pad to Bolin and Mondo throws some punches at it. At Six Flags, there's going to be no whistle-blowing, bring everything that you have, I'm going to show you guys what gutcheck time is. Blaster Lasheley says wave that flag in his squeaky voice. God, he sounds like Michael Jackson trying to talk in a deep voice. He says as far as the flag goes, we don't need a flag. Bolin says he brought in Big Guido to be his bodyguard so that nobody could make him wave the flag, and he swears on his father's grave he won't wave it this Friday!
Next: Ken Doane v.s. Elijah Burke for the TV title.
Elijah Burke v.s. Ken Doane (w/ Desiree and Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin)
Burke's right eye is bandaged up. Burke throws Doane into the ring and punches away on him. This should be good, with two guys who should be at least WWE midcarders in a year or two. He punches away like crazy. Head to the buckle. Doane tries to bail but gets punched. Whip to the buckle, backdrop! Cover, 2 count. Scoooop slam. Shade comes to ringside to guard Elijah Burke's corner. Burke goes up top... but Doane knocks the ref into the ropes and Burke falls violently off! 2 count. Doane stomps away. Head to the buckle. Punch to the back of the head. 2 count. He pulls off the bandage around Burke's eye. Burke tries to fight back but eats a knee. Head to the buckle. Scoop slam. Stone Cold elbow drop. 2 count. Head to the buckle blocked, Doane to the buckle! Doane comes back with a thumb to the injured eye. Doane acts like he kicks Burke on the apron, but he misses by a mile. Burke still rolls out of the ring. Burke thrown back in the ring. “Porky” chants. 2 count. Elbows, kicks, stomps in the corner. Bolin attempts to choke Burke in the corner but Deuce Shade chases him away. Kneedrop, 2 count. Man, this kick has the WWE style down already. Whip to the ropes, elbow. Reverse chinlock, cranking on it Orton style. Burke fights back. Whip to the ropes, clothesline ducked. Double crossbody at the same time and the ref counts to 10. Both men up. Burke gives him some big punches and kicks, chops, clothesline. Atomic drop. Flying forearm. 2 count. Whip to the buckle, Doane moves out of the way but Burke grabs him and whips him into the buckle again (that looked like a blown spot). Burke misses with a splash into the corner. Spinebuster by Burke! Bolin distracts the ref. Shade gets Bolin. Desiree hits Burke in the nards. Ring the bell, that's a DQ. Here comes Mondo and Lasheley. Cornette says “This Whole Arena has GONE WILD” as the crowd is dead silent. Shade triple teamed. He tries to fight them off to no avail. Powerslam on Shade by Lasheley. Burke in the ring with a kendo stick. By Gawd! He's laying it to them. It's going to be a war this night at Six Flags.
Okay, not as good of a show as it looked on paper from Ffing through it.
Is this the end of Jim Cornette? We'll find out VERY soon.