Toshiaki Koala

I was about to say the same thing. Of course, leave it to the person who pinned me to bring it up first...

It's not hilarious, but this part certainly made me laugh:

No reason to get upset - you did ask about your spelling in the thread's sub-title. Nobody is calling you stupid. Hey, there are plenty of knuckle-dragging troglodytes around here with impeccable spelling and grammar, especially in a certain folder whose initials may or may not be 'C' and 'E'...

Has Show been reading Fierro lately?

That sounds like a fun course, but as others have said - Albano's book? Watching Raw every week? Ouch. Couldn't they at least watch some AJPW?

WHY, WHY, WHY is my computer too slow to download this during the span of my remaining lifetime?! It's not fair.

Dare I ask who you wrote to win? Oh well, I should very much enjoy feuding with you.

The Bahama Bomber vs. The Canadian Critic. Bring it on!

The fault is mine. I did receive Toxxic's message, but I forgot some of what he had said during the match and only left in the part about Johnny coming down late. This was pure stupidity on my part and I apologize sincerely. I'll make sure Johnny works extra stiff on Pretzler during the tag match!

Is there really a P rating in Australia? I'm kind of an expert on this stuff, and the OFLC website doesn't mention it at all. I could be wrong, of course, since I don't actually live there and you do. And if Leonard based the book character on The Rock, does that mean he's a wrestling fan? Hmmm...

The day Leslie is inducted into the Hall of Fame will be the darkest day in wrestling history, if not in world history.

Watch a Bryan Danielson match. His airplane spin is choice.

Fade in to Scott Pretzler, standing backstage in front of a large SWF logo. In one hand he holds a microphone; in the other, a piece of celery. “Twenty-three seconds.” He tucks the microphone under his shoulder, then grabs the celery with both hands and snaps it in half. “Twenty-three seconds. “That’s not a very long time. When you think about it, there really isn’t a lot that can happen in the span of twenty-three seconds. It took God six whole days to create the world, if you believe in that stuff. Hell, I’m pretty certain I’ve had orgasms that lasted longer than twenty three seconds.” “Self-induced, no doubt,” cracks Pete. “And yet that’s how long Stephen Dobbson was trapped in the Snowflake Clutch this Wednesday on Lockdown. That’s how long it took me, with the use of that maneuver, to break Stephen Dobbson’s neck. Yes, if you haven’t already heard, Kaine’s neck was broken during our match. His career is over. He’ll be lucky if he retains the ability to walk.” The crowd is shocked to silence. “Many people laughed when I first arrived here in the SWF. I don’t know why. But they did, they laughed. Especially when they heard the name of my finishing move. He crudely imitates a backwoods person: “Guh-huh! He done made him a in-side joke!” “This is a scenario that begs the question – as cliché as that question may be – that begs the question… “…Who’s laughing now?” BOOOOOOOOOO! “Certainly not Kaine.” PRETZ-LER SUCKS! PRETZ-LER SUCKS! “And certainly none of you. Surely you have now realized the gravity of the situation. The Snowflake Clutch, or the Goku-Raku Gatame or whatever you wish to call it, truly is the most painful and dangerous submission hold in the business today. I may have other cards up my sleeve that trump it, but this is an undeniable fact. “More importantly, you must surely have realized that I AM AT WAR. I am not here to entertain you, or to make you laugh, or even to laugh at you, although the temptation is often great. I am here because I have a mission that needs to be accomplished. And as you have seen, this is a mission that, when carried out, will leave casualties. Such is the nature of war. “Spike Jenkins. Cruiserweight Champion. You’re a boastful guy, Spike – you just love to tell everyone about how long you’ve held that belt, about how great a champion you’ve been. And to this I ask, Why? What makes you great? Are you great because you’ve held that belt for one hundred and nineteen days? Greatness, my friend, is not measured by longevity. As far as I’m concerned, your reign as champion has consisted of an endless string of boring matches, each one serving only to further sap the title of whatever prestige it once had. Therefore you complain about how no one respects the title. “The title which you made worthless. “You make me sick, Spike. You represent everything that is wrong with this business today – the emphasis of characters over match structure, of entertainment and athleticism over technical knowledge. Not that you’re particularly athletic, but my point stands. You are one of far too many wrestlers who tells his story on the microphone because he is unable or unwilling to do so in the ring. “What I see here is an amazing opportunity. If I can take just one title, just one division, and restore credibility to it, I can make a world of difference. I can make my dream come true. And make no mistake: I will defeat you. I won’t do it because I want the title more, or because the fans support me; I will do it for the simple reason that I am a good wrestler and you are not. When you get right down to it, that’s all that really counts.” He takes one of the celery halves and bites into it, holding the microphone to his mouth to amplify the sound of his chewing. He swallows it. “A little note, also, to the special referee Wildchild. This is my match. You are here to officiate and nothing more. Once I’ve won this belt you’ll get your shot at it, but until then… if you so much as lay a finger on me tomorrow night, I’ll snap your tan little neck even faster than I snapped Kaine’s. Is that a threat? Meh, I don’t know. What do you think?” The sarcasm here is more than evident. “Did he just say ‘meh?’” asks Pete incredulously. “I believe he did,” says King. “Nobody actually says that!” "He's a product of the internet culture. So what?" Pretzler has but one final pearl of wisdom to dispense. “So far, I’ve beaten a fat jobber and I’ve been a skinny jobber. Why should it be so difficult to beat a medium-sized jobber?” Fade out.

Samoa Joe was on Velocity? Wow. I almost don't want to know, but... Who squashed him?

Was that a Lyger mask I saw?

I do? News to me...

He lost to Hardcore Holly.

Godfather over Triple H. It wasn't clean, but that's about as humiliating as it gets.

Unless I'm misinterpreting your post, what you're saying is that people who don't get the joke because they don't watch the show are stupid and therefore shouldn't watch it in the first place? That's some logic right there.

The finish of the 2000 Rumble was botched?

Could you do that for me? I want to send him off with some measure of respect. Thanks.

Aja. Fucking. Kong.

As a mainstream star, I'm tempted to say that Hogan was bigger. In terms of wrestling ability, it's not even close - Austin's matches with Hart, Rock, and Benoit top anything I've seen from the Hulkster.

I'm not quite sure how to say this, but... Kaine quit.

He's probably torn between making me lose my first match and actually selecting the dreadful match I wrote as the WINNER.