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Toshiaki Koala

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Posts posted by Toshiaki Koala

  1. Posted · Report reply

    Smarks Board Name: Toshiaki Koala

    Wrestlers Name: “The Critic” Scott Pretzler

    Height: 5’11”

    Weight: 232 lbs.

    Hometown: Toronto, Ontario

    Age: 29

    Face/Heel: Heel

    Stable: None – former member of Revolution Zero

    Ring Escort: None

    Weapon(s): His wrestling ability.

    Quote: “Feel the swankness.”

     

    Looks: The Critic is a handsome and clean-cut young man, but not as youthful as he once was. His blond hair is fairly short and is combed straight back; plain but good-looking would be the best way to describe his face. He is in excellent physical shape but his body shows no signs of steroid use. Since the last time we saw him, he has acquired one notable feature: a straight scar, about eight inches long, on his right shoulder. He wears traditional black trunks with a metallic red tildebang insignia (~!) on the front and “SP” in jagged red letters on the back. Black wrist taping, black kneepads and black boots with red laces to match his trunks complete his ring attire. He has deep-set blue eyes. He will sometimes wear a black robe with red trim and the tildebang logo over his heart. The red/black color pattern for his trunks and robe may be reversed.

     

    Ring Entrance: As the choral opening to “Force Ten” by Rush soars over the speaker system, a red light flashes in the entryway, growing in frequency, until the guitar kicks in and Pretzler emerges onto the stage.

     

    Tough times demand tough talk

    demand tough hearts demand tough songs

    demand…

     

    He stops and places his hands on his hips as he stares down smugly at the audience, their boos like music to his ears.

     

    “Making his way to the ring… from Toronto, Ontario, weighing two hundred thirty-two pounds… SCOTT PUUUUUH-REEEETZLEEEER!”

     

    We can rise and fall like empires

    Flow in and out like the tide

    Be vain and smart, humble and dumb

    We can hit and miss like pride… just like pride.

     

    Taking his time, he walks down the ramp, climbs the steps, and enters the ring with pride. The audience continues to boo as he paces the ring.

     

    Look in

    To the eye of the storm

    Look out

    For the force without form

    Look around

    At the sight and the sound

    Look in look out look around…

     

    Stats:

     

    Strength: 5

    He cannot lift bulky opponents, but is capable of fearsome bursts of energy and puts a great deal of power into his impact moves and holds.

     

    Speed: 3

    Pretzler prefers to keep the match in one place. When he does fly, his aerial attacks are precise and devoid of flash.

     

    Vitality: 6

    His small size makes him vulnerable to power moves, but he has GREAT stamina and almost never submits.

     

    Charisma: 6

    Charismatic is the last way Pretzler would describe himself, but his command of the audience’s feelings (namely, hatred) is absolute. His promos are verbose and condescending.

     

    Style: Priding himself on his technical abilities, Pretzler works a style that features impactful moves with little flash or style. Because the Snowflake Clutch puts pressure on the neck and back, Pretzler will relentlessly attempt to wear down this area using strikes, holds, and backbreakers. His contempt for the audience will sometimes lead him to intentionally slow the match to a crawl, and when this happens he revels in the crowd’s frustration. He never uses weapons in a match, but outside of the ring his actions may take a less disciplined course.

     

    Signature moves:

     

    Suplex Trifecta - Any three suplexes strung together in a logical way. Can be a finisher, depending on the specific moves used. Examples: German-German-Dragon, German-German-Snowflake, Snap-Snap-Brainbuster.

     

    Octopus Hold – Pretzler bends his opponent over so that their upper bodies are perpendicular, hooks his left leg over the back of the foe’s head while placing his right in front of the other's left, and wrenches the right arm back in his own direction.

     

    Powerbomb – Done high-speed à la Chris Benoit’s Wildbomb. Pretzler always holds on for the pin, and sometimes flips over in a jackknife.

     

    Brainbuster – Not a complete vertical drop like Hashimoto’s, this is still very punishing to the neck.

     

    Guillotine Leg Drop – One of Pretzler’s few aerial maneuvers. He will attempt it only if he is certain that it will not be avoided (could therefore be considered a rare move as well.)

     

    Front Guillotine Neck Lock – With both men standing, Pretzler applies a front facelock and then scissors his legs around the opponent’s body, pulling him down to the mat.

     

    Crossface Chickenwing – Used to wear down the neck in preparation for the Snowflake Clutch, this can also end a match by itself.

     

    Common moves:

     

    Knife-Edged Chops

    Elbows to the back of the neck

    European Uppercut

    High-Angle Dropkick (Best in the business!)

    Lariat

    Powerslam

    Back Drop

    German Suplex (With or without bridge)

    Butterfly Suplex

    Front Neck Lock (Opponent either standing or seated)

    Pendulum Backbreaker

    Headlocks! Technical headlocks. Lots of them.

    Shoulder Neckbreaker

    Grounded Neck Lock w/ Arm Scissor (Samoa Joe's 'Joejigatame')

    ARM-BAR~!

     

    Rare moves:

     

    Tope Suicida – Pretzler has a beautiful suicide dive, but he rarely busts it out as the risk for him is too great.

     

    Top Rope Frankensteiner – Another junior-style move that Pretzler has the ability to execute but will do so only when desperate.

     

    Snowflake Suplex - A cross-arm German suplex, also called a Strait Jacket Suplex. Near-impossible to escape, but equally hard to hit.

     

    Finishers:

     

    Snowflake Clutch – A camel clutch variation in which the opponent’s arms are crossed in front of his chest. Unlike a regular camel clutch, this starts with the opponent in a seated position. Nearly identical to Jinsei Shinzaki’s Goku-Raku Gatame. Often set up with a hard elbow to the back of the neck causing the opponent to fall to his knees.

     

    The Tildebang – Pretzler puts his opponent in a rear facelock and lifts him up as if to deliver a reverse brainbuster; when the jabroni’s body is at a 90-degree angle, Pretzler drops him down into a Michinoku Driver. (See the “Yukiguni Driver β” in Fire Pro Advance.) Pretzler will almost never use this on opponents heavier than 250 lbs.

     

    Notes: Scott Pretzler despised Sports-Entertainment. A former world champion in the northeast-based Ring of Respect promotion, he came to the SWF with the lofty goal of “saving” North American pro wrestling. Both highly educated and a superb athlete, he simply could’t help believing that he was better than everyone else – his every word and action dripped with arrogance. His superiority complex allowed him to overlook any morally questionable actions he may take, and on very rare occasions he was willing to play dirty to get the job done. Pretzler racked up an impressive record in his first year of competition, with an undefeated streak followed by multiple Cruiserweight Championship victories. It seemed that nothing could stop him.

     

    Then, on September 7, 2005, Pretzler tore his rotator cuff in a match against the Crimson Skull. While doctors told him the injury would sideline him for no more than six months, a botched surgical procedure greatly aggravated the condition and made it unlikely that he would ever wrestle again. For over two years, not a word was heard from him.

     

    Now, without warning, Pretzler has returned… but is he the same man he once was?

  6. AvA

    in Music

    Posted · Report reply

    In late 2005 and early 2006, Tom gave a number of very enthusiastic interviews about AVA's upcoming debut album. He called it, among other things, 'the greatest Rock and Roll revolution'. He said it was 'the best music made in decades', with 'the conceptual depth of Pink Floyd, the anthemic architecture of U2, the energy and youthful vibrancy of Blink-182.

     

    Don't kill the funniest man alive.

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