River City Rocker

I've always wondered exactly the reason why Catcher in the Rye is always being challenged, or even banned from the school. Is it strictly the foul language, or is it the fact that parents are afraid that their precious children could or would relate to Holden Caulfield's feelings and attitude? I read that book in senior year. I was one of maybe three or four students in my class who liked it. The rest were like "Eww! This book is messed up!" -Ben

Oh, speaking of JLA/Avengers... Check this baby out! Print it and find your colored pencils! -Ben Edit: I should've taken a closer look at the thread and not assumed that someone hasn't posted that B&W picture yet. Heh...

I was part of an e-fed a long, long time ago. What we did was roleplay through email to the other members, and the three or four writers booked the matches into two or three shows. Basically, it was quantity over quality. I could do two stellar roleplays, and my opponent would do TEN, and he'd basically kill my wrestler on the Monday show. My biggest accomplishment was getting Owen Hart a World title reign. I had two strikes against me; the first was that Owen beat a fictional wrestler after the kid who roleplayed as him threw a tantrum and quit the e-fed. The other one was that Owen lost the belt a week later to New Jack. Otherwise, all I remember was the endless flood of roleplays and cards in my mailbox, and having to put up with the egos of some of these kids, who were taking this thing much too seriously. Towards the end, the original president got hurt in real life and couldn't use a computer for a while. I ended up taking over the e-fed and shut it down a month later when I finally got tired of everything involved with it. The same e-fed was revived later that year, but it lasted about a month or two before more political bullshit put it on "hiatus". When the guy in charged asked me to come back, I said no. If I ever wanted to run anything like an e-fed, I would just collect a bunch of CAWs for WWF No Mercy, set things up, and handle everything all alone. That way, everything goes relatively smoothly, and I don't have to worry about a 12-year-old prima donna trying to disrupt the whole fed by pitching a fit that his wrestler wasn't handed every title after his first match. -Ben

Boy, thank God JR wasn't in charge of hyping "Twilight Zone: The Movie" "Kids, this is the scene where the actor and those kids were decapitated by the copter! They weren't hosses!!!! BOOMER SOONER!" -=Mike ...We'll get sick of the Lita lisp thing soon --- but it's got a good day or two left Heh! In that case, I'm just glad J.R. wasn't in charge of 9/11... "Stay tuned folks, this is where business is about to pick up! Two jet planes crash into the World Trade Center! It's gonna be a slobberknocker! By gawd! By gawd, the towers are collapsing, King! Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold!" -Ben

Yeah, but that match was a regular tag team match. No cage. I'm personally hoping that two Wargames (1987, 1992) matches get included, and maybe the Tower of Doom match from GAB 1988. Okay, maybe that last one won't be as popular with the rest of you, but hey... Another childhood favorite is Bruno Sammartino and Tito Santana versus Randy Savage and Adrian Adonis in the cage. I loved that match as a kid. -Ben

I'd say Watchmen is the greatest graphic novel of all time, followed by The Dark Knight Returns. Funny how I've heard people slagging DC Comics for years, yet the same company manages to release the two best graphic novels ever created, and in the same YEAR, too (1986, if memory serves correct). I've heard nothing but good things about Maus too, so I'm curious to check it out soon. Personally, I've been a mark for Crisis on Infinite Earths for a long, long time, but I don't know if you'd find it on too many "greatest graphic novel" lists... -Ben

I remember that! I also remember that Raven's leather jacket got torn, and he didn't bother replacing it for months. There was also an incident from Nitro in early 1997 where some kid ran in during an Outsiders promo or beatdown (I forget exactly which). He later came to an AOL message board about wrestling, and explained why he did it, making sure that the first sentence contained the phrase "massively drunk". A lot of board regulars, myself included, did spend quite a bit of time chewing him out for being completely stupid. -Ben

Yeah, somehow it all makes sense now. And isn't it some kind of unwritten rule around here that Sid shitting himself in the ring has to be brought up every so often? Personally, I feel every lengthy essay on wrestling should end like this: "...and in a nutshell, that was how Vince McMahon botched the Invasion angle, and sent wrestling into its current downward spiral littered with bad television. And Sid shit his pants." -Ben

Metal Sludge also seems to think that sales is a much more important factor in determining a band's greatness. In that case, why wasn't Pink Floyd on that list at number one? HOW many copies of Dark Side of the Moon got sold in 30 years? Although I do agree with Sludge that Motley Crue and Def Leppard are better bands than Radiohead or Phish. (ducks thrown projectiles) -Ben

Through most of my school life, I always got insulted over three things that were untrue: that I was either gay, retarded, psychotic, or occasionally, a combination of the three. Even though I now realize that people in school are generally unimaginative in their insults, it still always hurt, because it wasn't true. And trying to defend yourself never worked, did it? The most ludicrous insult I ever got was in the eighth grade, during the height of the first Persian Gulf War. I apparently didn't give someone the reaction they wanted, so he accused me of being an Iraqi supporter loud enough for the entire class to hear. This is only funny considering the other kid worshipped Vanilla Ice (yes, really!) to the point where he had the word ICE shaved in the back of his head. So when he tried to spread a rumor through the whole school that I was an apparent Iraqi supporter, he got blown off quite a bit, even by his own clique... -Ben

Mine was way back during the boom period in the mid-80s (1987). I went to a house show in Farmland, Indiana, a small town 20-odd miles east of Muncie. This was during the days that the WWF had enough wrestlers to have three tours going at the same time. Still, the fact that Farmland got a house show at its high school kind of intrigues me. I don't remember much aside from the main events being Greg Valentine versus Brutus Beefcake, and the British Bulldogs beating whoever they were booked against that night. I want to say the Islanders, or even the Hart Foundation, but I honestly don't remember. There was only one no-show: Danny Spivey. I was a bit of a Spivey mark when I was 11, so I was a little disappointed. -Ben

One better: defecate in the middle of the store. Strip naked. Chant in tongues and fling it at people.

Yes, not every IWC personality has wrestlers challenging them to fights, do they? I always wondered why someone as prissy and effeminate as Sean Shannon is was such a big fan of ECW. Doesn't that seem like the LAST thing he would ever follow? I've got to hand it to Chris Hyatte, though...when he wants to humiliate somebody, he will not hold back. -Ben

How can people in Detroit stand watching CBS on channel 62? -Ben

Speaking of "Big Daddy", check this out. More background here if you like. It should give you more than enough evidence that Idi Amin was a fucking lunatic. -Ben

For those of you that had LiveJournals, I added all of you to that splendid list of friends I have. Hope you folks don't mind. -Ben

Yes, and here's mine. -Ben

When I was in second grade, a friend and I broke into a shed behind a vacant house and poured paint and other chemicals all over the backyard. It was one of those things which I never got punished for it, but somehow, a lot of people knew what happened, my parents included. And the kid who used to live there wasn't too thrilled with me either. Of course, he was an asshole even at that age, so I regret nothing. I also dipped kittens in bright green paint that summer just to see them make pawprints on the driveway. This is much more "cute" than bad now, but still... But the things I got in trouble for the most during my life were always pertaining to school, like I wasn't trying hard enough, my grades were less than stellar, I flunked a test and had to bring it home to be signed, etc. Later on, I got yelled at more than a few times for "not socializing" and "being anti-social" in high school. Yes, hardly anyone in school wants me around, so it's MY fault. I've been accused of doing a lot of bad things in my lifetime, though. I almost got kicked out of high school for allegedly stalking a former girlfriend and several of her friends. As it turned out, it was a plot to get rid of me, but the deans never took action against them. -Ben

Rhino is promising an "exciting" DVD release for the fourth quarter of 2003, according to Satellite News. Details are still up in the air, but this could mean that there could be some new episodes being released, or, even MST3K: The Movie. -Ben

I admit it. I love those movies. I still laugh like a schoolgirl at the "Wendy, I can fly!" scene. -Ben

I'll watch it whenever nothing else is on, but I infinitely prefer the British version. I have four VHS tapes filled with old Whose Line goodness that I recorded ten years ago. Lately, my beef with Comedy Central is that if they even bother to show old Whose Line, they cut at least three or four minutes out of the episodes now. And when it's one I've seen or taped, I can almost guess which routines got edited out. Fortunately, Canada's Comedy Network doesn't do any noticiable editing of episodes, I learned. -Ben

Anyone want to bet that if Black is convicted and sentenced to a lengthy prison term, he's probably going to tell the judge, prosecutors and jury that their mothers "suck cunt"? I've got a feeling he's NOT going to go quietly if convicted. Rob Black would try to start a riot. -Ben

I Died Wallop Pantsweasel Scrambled Debutante Drowning Witch My Secret Just Swallowed Burbank

From the Associated Press: U.S. Fears Janitor is a Security Threat PHILADELPHIA (Aug. 6) - In 19 years of using his security clearance to sweep floors at a plant owned by defense contractor Lockheed Martin, janitor Michael Lynch has done nothing to arouse suspicion. Co-workers and bosses speak glowingly of Lynch, a brain-tumor survivor who's active in his church, building homes for poor people in Maine and West Virginia. But because he and his family have struggled financially, the government now sees him as a threat to national security. Defense Department officials believe the janitor may be tempted to sell government secrets to get out of debt. Last month, they asked a judge to revoke Lynch's security clearance. Lynch, who considers himself a patriotic American, is fighting back. His lawyer calls the government's actions "outrageous" and asked Administrative Judge James A. Young to allow Lynch to keep his clearance. A decision is expected by Labor Day. Although Lockheed has promised Lynch a job even if he loses the clearance, "It's a matter of pride for him," said his attorney, James Katz. "The notion that this individual would pose a security threat is just extraordinary to me." The Defense Department didn't respond to a request for comment. "Mr. Lynch has been here for many years. He's been a dedicated employee and that's something we recognize," Lockheed spokesman Ken Ross said. Lynch's troubles began shortly after the Sept. 11 attacks, when an official reviewing Lynch's security clearance began raising questions about a 1993 bankruptcy, an unpaid tax bill and some discrepancies on paperwork that Lynch filled out in 1999. By January of this year, the department had concluded that Lynch, who makes $16.85 an hour sweeping floors at Lockheed's plant in Moorestown, N.J., was a threat and moved to revoke his clearance. Defense Department policy states that "an individual who is financially overextended is at risk of having to engage in illegal acts to generate funds." The policy says that a history of financial trouble and an "inability or unwillingness to satisfy debts" are among factors that could raise security concerns. But the 1992 directive also says that officials should take into consideration whether the financial trouble was recent, or caused by a hardship beyond the applicant's control, when deciding to either grant or revoke clearance. Lynch, a former cabinet maker, was out of work for three years after surgery in 1981 to remove a brain tumor. When he was well enough, he got a job at the radar and missile guidance systems plant, then owned by RCA but later acquired by Lockheed Martin. The Lynches ran into severe financial problems in the early 1990s after his wife, Kay, stopped working to help their blind daughter, Christy, with her studies. The family couldn't make ends meet on Michael Lynch's wages and declared bankruptcy. Kay Lynch eventually went back to work, but quit again after Christy was accepted to Temple University's music program. Again finding themselves short of money, the Lynches decided to pay their daughter's tuition instead of city wage taxes, which Lockheed did not deduct from Michael Lynch's paycheck. Katz acknowledged the decision was a bad one. But he said the family has since paid $7,000 toward their tax bill - most of what they owe. "Ironically, he's in better financial shape than he's ever been," Katz said. The government also accuses Lynch of lying on his security clearance application. When Lynch updated the application in 1999, he erroneously said he hadn't filed for bankruptcy in the past seven years and hadn't had a debt older than 180 days. Katz said Lynch simply made a mistake. A letter from Lynch's neurologist says that because of his physical condition, he has trouble with dates. Lynch, 50, who lives in a Philadelphia row house with his wife and two daughters, declined to comment. Jeff Fogel, legal director for the Center for Constitutional Rights, said Tuesday that Lynch has been treated poorly. "The government is certainly overdoing it. They are leaping to conclusions that are just not there," Fogel said. "You've got bureaucrats taking the approach that (it's better to be) wrong in this area than allowing someone who is a potential security threat." At a hearing last month, Lynch's supervisor, James Numbers, testified that Lynch was an honest and conscientious employee. And co-worker Diane Carr told the judge she'd "trust Mike with my life," according to a newspaper account of the hearing.

They also air spelling bees and poker games on ESPN or ESPN2. And last I checked, those weren't sports. But then again, any network billing itself as a "competition network" probably wouldn't last too long. -Ben, who does watch Slamball and enjoys it, too.