Murmuring Beast

List your qualifications, work experience in order of chronology. List your qualities and experiences in life and what you could offer to that position with these experiences. If you can speak any languages or are good with computers or maybe even something like music, the boss will see a dedicated person who will apply themselves outside of the workplace. Basically talk yourself up and prove that you are the best man for the job.

Lennon and Harrison for a Beatles final tour. Carl Wilson to get the Beach Boys back together, as well as Dennis.

Directed at myself, because I am -IB-.

I've got two weeks in Boston coming up, with my parents admittedly. Hopefully something will happen worth retelling.

You are actually improving as a poster, I'll give you that much. Try not to post so much though.

He's DonkeyLips.

I'd paint that bitch green, strap a towel to the back of it and cruise down the streets at 120 km/h while The Hurricane's theme music plays loud through the speakers I seriously can't get over that.

Abba Gold. Seriously! I was 12.

I agree.

This is horrible.

Peter Buck John Lennon Jesus

Wow, that is fucking scary.

You are so kind...

Yea, sucks being a teenager

EDIT: FUCK GEOCITIES!

Has MAD magazine paid you royalities for using your visage on their cover for the past several decades? Harsh, Chevy. But no, no royalties.

Old Pic This is fairly recent but a lot of the hair has gone. My Hair~~~

I work on a switchboard which accepts incoming calls about government benefits from London, England, which is weird because I'm in Glasgow, Scotland. Anyway, I've been doing this job for about 2 months now and it's quite good as the money's ok and I'm on fair hours. So today I get a call from some Cockney loud-mouth: Hello, my name's Martin, how can I help you? I want the sick section. I'm on sick benefit There's no such section as 'sick' so I ask him if he's on incapacity, the proper name for the benefit someone ill or who is unable to work is on. Are you on incapacity benefit, sir? I'm on sick. Sick benefit. So it's incapacity then.. NO, it's SICK Don't make me repeat myself! In frustration, I cut the guy off. Partly the reason for this was because I had a caller earlier on who was so kind and who was patient with me when I was trying to look up a phone number which they could ring to get assistance. I thought this guy was just being a pain in the ass. However, the guy phones back and gets through to a more senior member of staff. She's sitting just across from me and I can guess with her tone that it's the same guy. She apologizes for the fact that he was cut off, citing that it might have been accidental on the switchboard operator's part. Then he tells her he wants to speak to a manager about it. Before she puts him through, she asks whether he was speaking to a male or female operator. He obviously says male. Now, there were only two males members of staff in today and the other guy was on his lunch at the time so... Shit. She puts him through to a manager and I get up to go to the toilet to pull myself together because I know I'm in for a roasting. Because the person I was covering for returns for lunch I have to move to another computer to work, and as I sit down I explain the situation to the woman next to me. She is supportive as says she would have done the same thing. I'm not so sure. Anyway, the woman supervisor who answered the phone comes up to me and confronts me about it. I get out of my seat to meet her and we talk in full-view of some other members of staff. Did you have a Mr... on the line, Martin? I say yes in reply. Do you cut him off by accident? I knew I couldn't lie so I put my hands up, literally, and said that I did it deliberately because I didn't care for the way the guy was speaking to me. I explained to her that I regretted it as I was feeling pretty guilty about it. To her credit, she didn't fly off the handle but gave me a stern 'make sure it doesn't happen again' talk. I sat down relieved. Later on in the day, I think the switchboard manager gets wind of the whole situation but she doesn't say anything to me. So all in all, this was quite a fuck-up which could have gone a lot more wrong than it did. And all this after I was given a new 6-month extension on my contract... Any similar stories?

Blunkett's an arsehole. I voted Lib Dem.

They have a new album out.

I watch her ass sway back and forth as we walk up the steps towards her office. She also wears dresses that stop abover her knees, and while I'm in her office often does the repeated leg crossing. Tell me Banky, should I go for it? Pics?

My psychologist's name is Ruth. She has perky tits, a peach shaped ass, and legs that go on for forever. Cute face too. Do you have sexual feelings for her? Forget it, pal, they are never interested. They are asexual.

Screw that, I have my own shiny badge.

STOP POSTING is the catchphrase of the year. And it's no coincidence I quoted KingOfTheRing909.

You're fired Cunt. Where's my compensation? Don't drown in the shit Your humour me and I want to be a subscriber to your weekly publication.