Kapoutman
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Posts posted by Kapoutman
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The commentaries are in French, by the same guys that did WCW in the final days. French is my primary language, and the commentaries bothered me because they also do "simultaneous translation" when wrestlers do promos, and the way the announcers dub over it is just so cheesy. I never thought someone could make a Styles/Daniels challenge sound so unintense.
Anyway, the wrestling is good, the commentaries suck. I could make a better job at it.
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Results of KPW Monday Night Mope December 6th 2004:
Paul London and Super Crazy defeated Los Conquistadors (Uno and Dos) when London
pinned Uno with the London Calling in 0:05:14.
Rating: ** 1/2
Magnum T.A. pinned Chris Sabin after a Thunder Fire Power Bomb in 0:07:52.
Rating: ***
(Magnum T.A. retained the KPW Television Title.)
Rene Dupree defeated Val Venis via pinfall in 0:08:42.
Rating: ** 3/4
S&M (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty) defeated
The OSTD (Lou Thesz and Verne Gagne) when Jannetty pinned V. Gagne after
the Rocker Dropper in 0:12:14.
Rating: *** 1/2
(S&M retained the KPW World Tag Team Titles.)
Steve Blackman pinned Dusty Rhodes with the Jumping Kick in 0:06:00.
Rating: * 1/4
Bret Hart pinned Owen Hart after a Victory Roll in 0:13:06.
Rating: ***
Honky Tonk Man defeated Randy Orton by disqualification in 0:05:30.
Rating: **
Chris Jericho and La Parka defeated Eddie Guerrero and Vader when Jericho
pinned E. Guerrero after a lionsault in 0:17:39.
Rating: **** 1/4
The Tap-Out Machines (Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko) defeated
Kurt Angle and Scott Steiner when D. Malenko made S. Steiner submit to the
Texas Cloverleaf in 0:14:36.
Rating: *** 1/2
Card rating: ***
Match observations:
The night started out strong with cruiserweight action as Los Conquistadores, including X Champion Dos, took on #1 contender Paul London and Super Crazy. For once, Dos and Uno went back to their original role, which means jobbing to the opposition. In the end, Uno was pinned by Paul London, giving a small hope to fans that Dos would lose his belt soon.
The second match opposed the always ridiculous Magnum TA to Chris Sabin of the great tag team "Strangers In The Night". Sabin fought all he could, but somehow, Magnum TA kicked out of his finisher, leading to boos from the crowd. Sabin went to apply his finished again, but Magnum quickly reversed into a Fire Thunder Powerbomb, almost defying gravity in the process. One could almost thing that Magnum TA has magic powers. Anyway, Magnum retained the TV title.
Backstage, after the match, Magnum was interviewed by Michael Cole. When asked about his recent behaviour, Magnum said that he didn't want any trouble, and that he was part of a knight order that existed only to keep peace intact in the galaxy. Michael Cole's already damaged brain almost fried from the stupidity. Magnum then issued some more threats for his PPV opponent, Val Venis, before leaving.
Venis himself was in action next against the #1 contender to the Canadian title, Rene Dupree of "The Future". In the end, Dupree ducked the Money Shot and rolled up the out-of-breath Venis for the win. One more for the French guy.
Up next was a promo from Shane Helms. He was standing in an interrogation room with Shark Boy, his former partner in The Masks of Justice. Shane asked Sharky if he had heard anything about "the assassin" posing as a wrestler. Sharky said that if he had to point at somebody who looks like a killer, it would be one of the new guys. Shark Boy said that Kane and Blackman could be it. Helms, not wanting to deal with Kane, decided to investigate on Blackman's side. He thanked Shark Boy and walked away.
In tag team action, Verne Gagne and Lou thesz could not overcome the powerhouse that is S&M. The leather-clad team defeated The Old School after a Rocker Dropper from Marty Jannetty. Yes, Jannetty picked up the pinfall. When Jannetty is improving to the point of picking up pinfalls, you know that it will take a lot of power to defeat S&M.
Up next was Dusty Rhodes facing Steve Blackman. Blackman and Dusty fought a great battle in the first few minutes, but the monstrous Kane entered the ring with a chair, looking straight at the ref and saying "If you end the match because of this, I will make sure that you can't walk home on your own tonight". The ref stepped aside, and Kane blasted Dusty Rhodes with the chair. Yeah, Kane is pissed because of last week's situation. Blackman waited patiently for Rhodes to get up and kicked him in the solar plexus for the win.
Bret Hart and Owen Hart headed for the ring and took a microphone. "All right Backlund. You are having a lot of fun running things, you fired my friends and we are already tired of you. Iron Sheik and Andre The Giant walked to the ring first, followed by Backlund. "Gentlemen, please teach these men to have some respect when talking to me". With this, Andre picked up Owen and slammed him to the mat while Iron Sheik hit Bret in the face with one of his Persian Club. Backlund then said that since they didn't understand the message, he was putting them one against the other RIGHT NOW.
When Backlund and his guards left, Owen and Bret wrestled for about 15 minutes. The match ended when Bret tried an Electric Chair Drop which was countered in a victory roll by Bret. A good little match, but both men were already tired from the previous attack.
Backstage, Backlund, Andre and Sheik were standing with Vader, Jericho, Guerrero and La Parka. He said that since Carpentier was already scheduled as the next challenger for Angle's title, they would face in a four-way match at "The Chicken Wing Rules" to see who would be the next to face the champion. However, tonight, it would be Jericho and La Parka against Vader and Guerrero.
In the ring, The Honky Tonk Man was ready to face Orton. Randy, wanting to be a good sport with this legend of the ring, offered his hand for a shake. Honky Tonk Man refused, asking Orton to "wipe the snot from his nose before". This angered Orton, who proceeded to dismantle HTM. He then kneeled in a corner, waiting for HTM to get up and hit him with the RKO. However, JBL was quicker and ran to the ring and hit the Clothesline From Hell on Honky, disqualifying Orton. Orton and Layfield argued, while Honyk escaped. He then picked a microphone and said "Thank you, you were a beautiful audience. And you two guys SUCK!" This angered JBL and Orton even more, as we left for a break.
Jericho and La Parka then defeated Eddie Guerrero and Vader after a Lionsault from Jericho on Guerrero. Jericho and La Parka are starting to act more and more as a team, and they are developping a great chemistry. Of course, Vader, frustrated of the loss, destroyed Jericho, Parka AND Guerrero after the match. He's far from being a good sport.
Andre the Giant was backstage, this time with Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko, known as the Tap-Out Machines. He said he was there to deliver a message from Backlund. The boss appreciate their work, which is athletic, mat-based and incredibly fancy, just like it should be. He then said that Backlund ordered a match for Kurt Angle and Scott Steiner, and as a favour to two men he admired, he was granting a main-event match to them against the champ and his guard. It looks like Benoit and Malenko are the only people to be on Backlund's good side.
Finally, in the main event, Malenko and Benoit didn't let Backlund down and after Benoit tossed Angle to the outside, Malenko got in to apply the Texas Cloverleaf on Steiner, who had no choice but to tap out. Backlund, Sheik and Andre came out to congratulate The Tap-Out Machines as the show ended.
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RAW: Batista, Benoit, Jericho, Nowinski, Christian, Edge, Snitsky, Kane, Hardy, Foley, Rhyno, Conway, Michaels, Benjamin, Richards, Grenier, Tajiri, Hurricane, Rock, Venis, Regal.
SMACKDOWN: Akio, Snow, Kidman, Booker, CCC, Haas, Chavo, Danny, Doug, Eddie, Funaki, Cena, Angle, Reigns, London, Dupree, Mysterio, Van Dam.
39/89 = 43.8 or 44%
Not bad.
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Results of KPW Monday Night Mope November 29th 2004:
Magnum T.A. defeated Rodney Mack via pinfall in 0:07:24.
Rating: * 1/2
(Magnum T.A. retained the KPW Television Title.)
Paul London pinned Shane Helms with the London Calling in 0:06:41.
Rating: ** 3/4
Four Corners Match:
Val Venis defeated Dusty Rhodes, Kane and Steve Blackman when Venis pinned Kane
with the Money Shot in 0:14:42.
Rating: * 1/2
Tiger Ali Singh pinned Randy Orton after a kick to the groin in 0:06:36.
Rating: * 3/4
(Tiger Ali Singh retained the KPW Canadian Title.)
Loser-Leaves-Town Match:
The Hart Brothers (Bret Hart and Owen Hart) defeated
Jim Neidhart and Davey Boy Smith when O. Hart pinned Neidhart after
a dragon suplex in 0:22:10.
Rating: * 1/2
John "Bradshaw" Layfield pinned Honky Tonk Man with the Clothesline From Hell
in 0:05:44.
Rating: *** 1/4
Dos pinned Super Crazy after an inside cradle in 0:04:06.
Rating: ** 1/2
(Dos retained the KPW X Title.)
Rene Dupree pinned Ron Killings with the French Riviera in 0:07:47.
Rating: ** 1/4
Kurt Angle defeated Vader when Vader passed out in the Ankle Lock in 0:08:25.
Rating: *** 1/2
(Kurt Angle retained the KPW World Title.)
Card rating: ** 1/2
Match observations:
This is the first Mope under the new administration, and we started with The Old School making their way to the ring. Edouard Carpentier had a huge smile on his face when he grabbed the microphone. He knew that everybody was waiting to know who he chose to become the law in KPW, and he picked the only man who knew enough about wrestling for the job. As a bonus, that man also brought two bodyguards with him. Ladies and Gentlemen, Edouard Carpentier and the Old School present the new Commissioner of KPW...
Bob Backlund, accompanied by Andre The Giant and The Iron Sheik!
Backlund came dressed in his usual bowtie suit accompanied by his guards. He made one thing clear from the start, Yes, he is granting the Championship match for the December Pay Per View to Carpentier. However, from now on, Backlund was here to be impartial. No more favour. He also said that as promised, he was disbanding the Hart Foundation. He made a match between Bret/Owen against Jim/Davey to make it clear. He also said that under his reign, KPW would see a lot of new blood. He announced that he could get, just in time for the show, Dusty Rhodes, Val Venis, Steve Blackman, KANE~! and The Honky Tonk Man signed. He also said that we could expect more and more fresh faces in the coming weeks. His final announcement was that since he was the boss around here, he was the man who decided of the PPVs, the lineups...even the names. He then named the December PPV "The Chicken Wing Rules". You should have seen Carpentier's face after that. Maybe his decision wasn't the best one after all. Backlund and his men walked off as we went to a break.
In the next match, the still ridiculous but now TV champ Magnum TA defended succesfully his belt against the goon of JBL's Empire, Rodney Mack. Mack somehow fell to Magnum's "magic" powers, and after a crucifix powerbomb, Magnum put his white robe back on and went back to the dressing room. Dave Meltzer says he saw a kind of sword dangling at the belt of Magnum's robe, but to this point, it is still a rumour.
Backstage, we saw Shane Helms without his mask on. His friend Shark Boy was wondering what was happening. Shane Helms said he would tell him, but that he would have to kill him should he reveal his mission. Shane said the CIA noticed his justice-keeping skills as a superhero and decided to give him a job as a "super-agent". Dead is The Hurricane. "The Super-Agent" Shane Helms is alive and well. Sharky questioned him about his mission. Helms said there were many, but that his first one concerned a new superstar. The CIA had heard from their intelligence report that an assasin was hired as a wrestler to kill unwanted opponents. That man could very well be a "Lethal Weapon", if you catch my drift, wink wink nod nod. Shane left, while Sharky was just wondering what Helms smoked.
Up next was the match to determinate who would be the challenger for the X Title at "The Chicken Wing Rules". Paul London, who disappeared since snapping last month after a defeat to Dos, defeated Shane Helms after his patented London Calling Shooting Star Press. London, who was still angry at Dos, decided to dish out a second London Calling to Helms for good measure. After the match, Shane got up and sai he had to continue his mission.
The following match was a four-way bout. Backlund decided to give opportunities to his new guys. The winner of the match between Kane, Venis, Rhodes and Blackman would challenge for the TV title at the next PPV. Kane, after chokeslamming everybody, was having everything under control until he decided to head outside for a chair. Of course, he smiled like a maniac like he always does. As he was about to kill Blackman with it, Rhodes stole the chair from him and hit him in the head. Venis then took out Rhodes, and hit the Money Shot on Kane for the win. Needless to say, Kane was a tad pissed at Rhodes.
Magnum TA came to the ring and told Val that he was without luck, because he was a guardian of purity and righteousness. He said that the evil had to be slayed, and that Venis was a part of the dark side. He then pointed a hand toward Venis, screaming "Choke! CHOKE!". Venis, of course, didn't react, as a frustrated Magnum put on hi hood and retreated to the back.
Tiger Ali Singh defended his Canadian title for the first time against The Future's leader Randy Orton. Tiger fell victim to the RKO, put was close enough to put his foot on the rope to break the count. When he came back up, he tossed his turban to the referee as a distraction before nailing Orton with a field goal to the groin. 1,2,3, Tiger retained and celebrated all the way to the back.
The Hart Foundation, now disbanded, went to the ring for their Tag Match. Backlund appeared on the Kapoutron and said that to illustrate his point of the Hart Foundation no longer existing, he had to make this match special. This was now a loser leaves town match, with the winners getting to fight...Nikolai Volkoff and Glacier on PPV. How cruel. With their jobs on the line, everybody fought hard, but in the end, a dragon suplex from Owen saved him and Bret, while Davey and Jim are now jobless.
In the back, JBL went to Honky Tonk Man to tell him he was proud to be the first to wrestle a legendary bad guy like him. HTM told him that JBL should shut his mouth, because he was a no-good, useless prick with a cowboy hat who thinks he is good because he need three guys to watch his ass. El Dandy was about to jump HTM, but was retained by IRS. HTM simply laughed, and said "See what I mean, son?" before leaving for the ring.
In the ring however, JBL defeated HTM after a Clothesline From Hell. He ducked a guitar shot from HTM and bounced off the ropes for the kill. He thought it would shut HTM for good, but as he was heading for the locker room, a voice in the arena said "See kid, I am still standing. You didn't do your job". JBL, pissed, turned around to see HTM shaking his knees despite his confused state.
In a rematch of the previous night, Super Crazy faced Dos to prove that the golden man's win was just a fluke. Of course, Crazy made short work of Dos, and he was ready to cover after a Spider Bomb. However, a pissed Paul London came in with a chair and tossed a penny to the easily distracted referee. He then leveled everybody with chairshots. Uno, the lifelong tag partner of Dos, saw this and entered the ring. He put Dos over Crazy to retain the title. Poor Crazy.
The next match was to name a #1 contender to Tiger's Canadian title. In the match were two men who came out of "Recipe For Hate" looking strong. Rene Dupree, who saved his team's ass, faced Ron Killings, one of the two survivors against JBL's Empire. In the end, Dupree won the match by hitting his finisher on Killings after a series of reversals. Dupree is going to "TCWR" for a Canadian Championship match.
Chris Jericho, La Parka and Jim Cornette were discussing backstage while Vader was stretching for his rematch. They talked about who should be the next challenger after TCWR, and the argument started getting heated rapidly. Jericho said he deserved it, La Parka argued he was the first champ and Cornette bragged that Vader would be the champion after tonight. Eddie Guerrero joined them, and warned them that he was now free to chase another title, and that he wanted more than the Canadian Championship this time. SUSPENSE.
In the main-event, Kurt Angle defeated Vader again. After a lot of effort, Vader missed the Vader Bomb, and Angle quickly applied the Ankle Lock. Vader's ankle was still sore from last night as a result of Steiner's attack, and he had no choice but to submit. Angle taunted Carpentier via the camera as the show ended.
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Results of KPW Recipe For Hate on November 28th 2004:
Elimination No-Time-Limit-Match (Also known as Hot Opener):
The Tap-Out Machines (Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko), Chris Jericho and La Parka
beat Siberian Cold (Glacier and Nikolai Volkoff), Matt Hardy and Scott Steiner
4 falls to 3:
x La Parka beat M. Hardy via a Skytwister Press in 0:07:51
x Jericho beat Volkoff via the Walls Of Jericho in 0:13:41
x S. Steiner beat Jericho via a screwdriver in 0:14:45
x D. Malenko beat S. Steiner via a Texas Cloverleaf in 0:18:11
x Glacier beat D. Malenko via a superkick in 0:18:54
x Glacier beat La Parka via the Diamond Dust in 0:21:14
x Benoit beat Glacier via the Crippler Crossface in 0:23:48
Survivors: Chris Benoit
Rating: *** 1/4
*We go directly in The Hart Foundation's locker room. Bret Hart is standing before his troops, trying to deliver a pep talk.*
BH: You know guys, should we win this, we will have to decide who books things on the fly around here. We will have full control of Kapoutland Pro Wrestling. We will decide of everything, and we will be able to rule with an iron fist. I want everybody to give their best effort, and even more, to make sure we come out on top tonight.
OH: Have you thought about who we should nominate should we win?
BH: I don't know. I thought about Bruce or Keith. I heard they aren't doing much nowaday.
JN: What about the Dynamite Kid?
DBS: NEVER. I don't want to spend the rest of my career being put in opening matches. You know he hate me.
BH: Guys, we will have the chance to think about that after our victory. For the moment I would like you to concentrate on the match. The strategy is really simple. These guys were imported straight from the 60's and 70's. You only have to counter basic moves, because that's all they are going to do anyway. The hardest thing you might have to try to counter will probably be a piledriver. Concentrate on the basic. That is the key.
JN: I think we can do that.
OH: Of course we can, Jim. Bret, I also wanted to mention this. As you know, this is an Hardcore Elimination Match. Which weapons did you bring guys?
DBS: I took care of that. I brought kendo sticks, rolls of quarters, brass knucks for everybody. I also got this from Eddie Guerrero for about 20$. I don't know where he got it.
BH: Let me take a look. It seems like it is a custom made wheel cap. It's made of gold. That's going to hit hard.
DBS: It says "Tiger" on it. As long as it is effective, I don't care.
BH: Let's go guys. Now let's finish preparing for our big match. This could change our career.
*We leave the locker room to go to our next match.*
No-Time-Limit-Match:
Dos pinned Super Crazy after the Vertebreaker in 0:11:18.
Rating: ***
(Dos won the KPW X Title.)
*Backstage, we switch to Tony Schiavone, who is standing in the interview area with Magnum TA. The man is all dressed in white. He takes the hood off his robe to reveal is always enormous mustache.*
TS: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here tonight with the man who orchestrated THE GREATEST COMEBACK IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT! Magnum, why did you concentrate your efforts on William Regal first?
MT: Tony, I am now more than a mere mortal. The Gods of Light granted me unbelievable powers, with the promise that I would make good use of them. When I told those entities that I was a wrestler, they told me I could use them to become the single most dominant force in history. The TV champion has to defend the belt at EVERY SHOW. I will get exposure, and my Lords are going to be happy.
TS: Who are those "Lords" that you are refering to all the time?
MT: You see, I am now a monk. A pacifist knight of the side of the light. My Lords are other knights that already defended this galaxy and so many others before from the Dark Side.
TS: "The Side of the Light"? "The Dark Side"? I could swear I heard that somewhere before.
MT: Very good Tony. That makes you one step ahead of the others. Stay on the good path my friend.
*Magnum TA leaves for the ring, leaving Schiavone by himself.*
TS: And I thought that Marty Jannetty was crazy.
Magnum T.A. pinned William Regal after a reverse crucifix powerbomb in 0:08:43.
Rating: ***
(Magnum T.A. won the KPW Television Title.)
*A camera manages to sneak into The Old School's locker room. We can see Edouard Carpentier, in front of a television, talking to the rest of the gang.*
EC: You see, this is a "Best of the Super J-Cup tape. I want you all to watch it. We still have two hours or so to go before our match. I know that we are great wrestlers, but we have to go with the time, my friends. If we want to be a real force, we have to learn some new moves.
*Carpentier puts the tape in the video, as moves like the shooting star press, the exploder suplex and the Shining Wizard are shown on the screen.*
KK: Excuse me Ed...
EC: Yes Kowalski?
KK: Do you really expect me to do a backflip coming off the top?
EC: Not really. I just want all of us to use some new moves to surprise the opposition. I think we can all do that.
LT: By the way, this is a Hardcore Elimination match. Anybody brought some weapons?
VG: I did. I bought this from Eddie Guerrero. It looks like heavy duty tire rims. The price was a real steal!
LT: There's something written on it. "Ali Singh Custom Car Parts Inc.". I wonder what is is.
EC: Don't worry guys. Let's just concentrate on the match. We could finally make this federation a good place to work if we win.
*The camera exits the locker room as the video keeps playing on the TV screen.*
Elimination No-Time-Limit-Match:
Mental Case (Ken Shamrock and Sabu), Ron Killings and Chaz beat JBL's Empire (El
Dandy, Irwin R. Schyster, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Rodney Mack) 4 falls to
2:
x R. Mack beat Chaz via the Blackout in 0:07:31
x Shamrock beat Dandy via the Ankle Lock Submission in 0:08:45
x Shamrock beat R. Mack via a wrist-clutch Exploder Suplex in 0:11:37
x I.R.S. beat Shamrock via an STO in 0:13:14
x Sabu beat I.R.S. via the Triple Jump Moonsault in 0:15:48
x Killings beat JBL via the Hat Rack Crack in 0:16:50
Survivors: Ron Killings, Sabu
Rating: ***
*Let's join Michael Cole, who is backstage with Kurt Angle and Scott Steiner.*
MC: Kurt, Jim Cornette and Vader promised that you would finally have the World Title Belt taken off of you TONIGHT! What do you have to say about that?
KA: Hey, if I had to be scared each time everybody said that, I would be taking Prozac today. I am the single most marked man today. Other than Vader, there is already La Parka and Chris Jericho who want my championship. It seems like every month, there is a new guy who wants a shot at me. Even The Old School and The Hart Foundation promised that they would grant themselve a World Title shot if they won tonight! Angle always oversomes the odds.
MC: You had one hell of a match against Jericho last month, but tonight, you are facing a man who is one-of-a-kind. Vader can do moonsaults AND powerbombs. he is agile and powerful. Do you think you can counter that?
KA: If anything goes wrong, I have Scott Steiner to back me up. Nothing can go wrong. Right Scott.
SS: Fucking right Kurt, you can fucking count on me. I won't fucking let you down, that's fucking sure.
MC: Do you mean you will cheat?
KA: Of course not. I meant that Scott would be there if Cornette wanted to interfere. :shifty:
SS: Yeah, I'll shove his fucking tennis racket up his fucking ass, the bastard.
MC: Ladies and Gentlemen, this was Kurt Angle and Scott Steiner. We apologise for the language, we should have told everybody to put the kids to sleep.
*Let's go to the ring for a title defense from the most exciting, in every sense of the word, team in KPW.*
No-Time-Limit-Match:
S&M (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty) defeated
Canadian Excellence (Lance Storm and Rick Martel) when S. Michaels pinned Martel
with the Sweet Chin Music in 0:12:24.
Rating: ***
(S&M retained the KPW World Tag Team Titles.)
Elimination No-Time-Limit-Match:
The Future (Chris Sabin, CM Punk, Randy Orton and Rene Dupree) beat The Masks of
Justice (Shark Boy and The Hurricane), Ultimo Dragon and Jushin Liger 4
falls to 3:
x U. Dragon beat Sabin via an Asai moonsault into an inverted DDT in
0:08:25
x R. Orton beat Hurricane via the R.K.O. in 0:11:33
x Liger beat R. Orton via the Running Lyger Bomb in 0:12:29
x Punk beat Shark via the Pepsi Plunge in 0:14:17
x U. Dragon beat Punk via a dragon suplex in 0:16:03
x R. Dupree beat U. Dragon via a Muscle Buster in 0:17:10
x R. Dupree beat Liger via the French Riviera in 0:20:03
Survivors: Rene Dupree
Rating: *** 1/4
*Let's go once again to Tony Schiavone, who is with Eddie Guerrero, for a last minute word.*
TS: I am right here with THE SINGLE MOST NEFARIOUS WRESTLER IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT, Eddie Guerrero. Eddie, do you think this will be the final chapter in your battle with Tiger?
EG: Tony, I have been trying to put the final nail in Tiger's coffin ever since we started this wrestling league, but Tiger is a bit stubborn and does not understand when to let go. Hopefully, with a victory tonight, I will be able to go on and defend my title against somebody else than that loser.
TS: I spoke to Tiger sooner, and he said that he would not lose this time. He seems serious about this.
EG: Tiger was also serious three months ago when he wanted to first take the belt off me. Let's face it. I burned down his house by accident, I stole his toaster and I am about to finish him once and for all. This is the last you will ever hear of him.
*Eddie storms off to the ring. Tiger Ali Singh arrives on the scene and sees Tony.*
TAS: Hey, Tony! Wanna interview me before the match? Want to hear the thoughts of a future champ?
TS: You, future champ? HA HA HA HA! *ahem* No, I won't interview you.
TAS: You will see. You will ALL regret this!
*An angry Tiger turns his back and walks to the ring while Tony just laughs.*
Toaster, Ladders and Chairs Match:
Tiger Ali Singh defeated Eddie Guerrero by grabbing the title at 00:20:42.
Rating: ****
(Tiger Ali Singh wins the KPW Canadian Title.)
No-Time-Limit-Match:
Kurt Angle made Vader submit to the Ankle Lock after Steiner's interference in 0:25:38.
Rating: **** 1/4
(Kurt Angle retained the KPW World Title.)
*Backstage, Michael Cole is there to witness the wrath of Vader, who is destroying everything in sight.*
MC: Mr. Cornette, what is going on here?
JC: What is going on? VADER IS A FREAKIN' MONSTER. He got screwed by Steiner and Angle, and he is MAD, you idiot!
MC: What are you two going to do now?
JC: As you can see, Vader is taking out his anger on inanimate objects, or else he would go to jail for manslaughter. And next week, whoever gets to choose the Commissioner will have to make an important decision, or consequences could be dire.
*Vader finishes detroying the catering area and heads out for the parking lot. A loud crash can be heard, following by an announcement over the PA system.*
PA: The owner of the car with license plate 506 EGT, please report to the parking lot. Your car has been destroyed by an out-of-control 400 pounds wrestler with a mask.
MC:
JC:
See you later Cole.*Let's go to the ring for the final match of the night, and what may be the most important match in the history of KPW.*
[Winner Chooses Commissioner]: Elimination No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:
The Old School (Edouard Carpentier, Killer Kowalski, Lou Thesz and Verne Gagne)
beat
The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, Jim Neidhart and Owen Hart) 4
falls to 3:
x O. Hart beat V. Gagne via a crucifix in 0:08:15
x Kowalski beat D.B. Smith via a double arm DDT in 0:18:57
x B. Hart beat Thesz via the Sharpshooter in 0:21:51
x Carpentier beat Neidhart via a Vertical Exploder Suplex in 0:23:25
x O. Hart beat Kowalski via brass knuckles in 0:25:35
x Carpentier beat O. Hart via the Shining Wizard in 0:29:01
x Carpentier beat B. Hart via a Bridging Tiger Suplex in 0:35:17
Survivors: Edouard Carpentier
Rating: ** 1/2
Card rating: *** 1/4
Match observations:
Recipe For hate 2004 is now in the books, and it is now official. The Old School will get to choose who will be the boss in KPW, and they will announce their decision on Mope next week! More on that later.
The show started with a great 4 on 4 match. It started as a massacre, as the faces took a 3 on 1 advantage. Glacier was the only member of his team left, and he made an unexpected comeback, taking out both Dean Malenko and La Parka, even using a Diamond Dust manoeuver for the last elimination. Chris Benoit did not waste any time though, and two minutes later, the dream of seeing Glacier as the lone survivor disppeared when he had to tap out to the crossface. Still, this is a great effort by a wrestler who is used to less than stellar performances.
In the next match, the unthinkable happened as Dos actually defeated Super Crazy to win the X-Title. Super Crazy had the match under control when he went for something a bit too dangerous for his own good. Dos was laying down outside of the ring when Crazy went to the top rope. He went for a Whisper in the Wind, but Dos moved out of the way. Super crazy damaged his neck and back with the move, and when he got up, Dos made his first offensive move in the match. A VERTEBREAKER ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR. He rolled Crazy inside for the suprise pin and the title win. Uno was there to celebrate with him. Of course, as soon as Super Crazy regained consciousness, he was a bit pissed off. I think that a rematch is in order.
In the next match, Magnum TA, once again dressed as a kind of monk, defeated William Regal to win the TV championship. Magnum accepted the belt without displaying any emotion, and only extended his hand toward Regal after the match, screaming "DIE. DIE!!!!". Regal quickly regained his bearings and leveled Magnum TA with brass knuckles after the match.
In the second elimination match of the nigth, JBL and his "Empire" were defeated by Ron Killings, Chaz and Mental Case. This match was not as surprising as the first elimination match. Mack and El Dandy were quickly eliminated, leaving IRS and JBL by themselves. In the end, Sabu and Killings were the only two left standing, eliminating both IRS and JBL in less than a minute. That was a convincing victory, and hopefully, JBL will stop bothering Killings and Chaz about becoming man servants.
S&M are rapidly becoming the first dynasty of KPW. They won their match against Canadian Excellence to retain the Tag Team title. Lance Storm had Jannetty in the single leg crab. While crawling to the ropes, Marty tagged in Shawn, which Storm did not see. Michaels gave him a violent Sweet Chin Music behind the head, putting him down for the count. Michaels and Jannetty embraced in the middle of the ring as we went to our next match.
The Future, who had been on a losing streak lately, defeated the cruiserweights team. Near the end, Rene Dupree was left by himself against Jushin Liger and Ultimo Dragon. After a suprising Muscle Buster and a French Riviera, Dupree managed to save face for his team with an impressive comeback. Orton and The Strangers In the Night congratulated him, establishing Dupree as a force to be reckoned with.
In another surprise, Tiger Ali Singh overcame the odds and defeated Eddie Guerrero in the first ever Toaster, Ladders and Chairs to win the Canadian Championship. He delivered a Tiger Driver through the announce table to incapacitate Eddie long enough to climb the ladder and grab the belt. Eddie almost won the match after a brainbuster on the toaster, but Tiger tipped over the ladder at the last second to save his own ass. Come on, look at it. Eddie got FOUR STARS out of Tiger Ali Singh. That was a great performance by both men, and hopefully, they will go on with their lives now.
In the World title match, Angle somehow resisted Vader's assault for about 25 minutes. Steiner gopt tired of it, and attacked Jim Cornette on the outside. As the ref tended to the Tennis Racket Man, Steiner grabbed a chair and slammed it against Vader's ankle. Angle applied the Ankle Lock for the win. Of course, Angle and Steiner fled after the match, just as usual. You can expect more from this.
Nobody expected it, but in the end, The Old School prevailed. They somehow updated their move set a bit, busting out a Shining Wizard, an Exploder Suplex and a Double-Arm DDT. The battle was fierce, and in the end, it was down to Bret and Edouard. After a series of reversal, Edouard went for a Tiger Driver, but Bret tripped him and applied the sharpshooter. Before he could be turned over, Carpentier used his leg strength to shoot Bret into the ropes. When he came back, he was met with a kick to the gut and a BRIDGING TIGER SUPLEX for the three-count. The Hart Foundation was furious, and it seems like after all, it is all back to the old way for everybody.
This is of course, the end of the show. See you all for the next Monday Night Mope.
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Results of KPW Monday Night Mope November 22nd 2004 #4:
Dos made The Hurricane submit after a headlock in 0:05:10.
Rating: *** 1/4
Ken Shamrock made John "Bradshaw" Layfield submit to the Ankle Lock Submission
in 0:10:19.
Rating: *** 1/4
William Regal made El Dandy submit to the Regal Stretch in 0:02:29.
Rating: ***
(William Regal retained the KPW Television Title.)
Tiger Ali Singh pinned Sabu after a top-rope neckbreaker in 0:12:09.
Rating: *
The Tap-Out Machines (Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko) defeated
Siberian Cold (Glacier and Nikolai Volkoff) when D. Malenko made Volkoff
submit to the Texas Cloverleaf in 0:09:14.
Rating: **
Rick Martel pinned Shawn Michaels after an STO in 0:15:06.
Rating: **** 1/4
Chris Sabin pinned Shark Boy with the Future Shock in 0:07:28.
Rating: *** 3/4
The New Foundation (Jim Neidhart and Owen Hart) defeated
The OSTD (Lou Thesz and Verne Gagne) when O. Hart defeated V. Gagne when
V. Gagne passed out in the Sharpshooter in 0:21:08.
Rating: ** 3/4
Kurt Angle and Scott Steiner defeated Vader and Kid Romeo when K. Angle
defeated Romeo when Romeo passed out in the Ankle Lock in 0:11:42.
Rating: ****
Card rating: *** 1/4
Match observations:
This is the last show before Recipe For Hate 2004, our PPV themed around Elimination matches. Sure, I am all inventive and stuff, so the January PPV will be themed around a Battle Royal, the March PPV will be our biggest of the year, and the June PPV will be a tournament. WOW, originality.
Anyway, we started with Los Conquistador Dos, #1 contender to the X-Title, actually DEFEATING The Hurricane. Sure, Randy Orton interfered and RKOed Hurricane while Dos was down and the ref had his back turned, but when he woke up, Hurricane was down and out. He applied a headlock, and Hurricane was not responding. Dos won by submission. With a headlock. Super Crazy was seen backstage ripping hair off his head. Could it...REALLY happen on PPV?
The next segment showed Bret Hart and the Foundation, in the ring, delivering a message. Hart was encouraging other wrestlers in the back to beat up on The Old School should they see them backstage. "We are doing this for you, guys. If Carpentier and his gang win, we will have to go back to the old way. We can't go back. We have to continue evolving. Come on. Help us." Out came The Old School, and of course they had an argument to counter the Foundation. "Guys, leave this to be an honest match. We already have an idea of who the General Manager will be if we win. That person will be righteous and just to everybody. We will make sure the decisions get respected. We will also make sure that...The Hart Foundation gets disbanded..." All of a sudden, all of the boys watching in the back were interested. No more Foundation to try to run everything? That might be a good thing.
Ken Shamrock was elected by his team to face the captain of their opposing team for Recipe For Hate. That man was JBL. Shamrock managed to make the modern-day JR Ewing submit to the Ankle Lock. The rest of JBL's Empire tried to save the day, but they were blocked by Ron Killings, Chaz and Sabu. JBL and his troops retreated to the back without a fight.
William Regal then faced El Dandy for his weekly title defense. Dandy, of course, went down. The match itself was nothing special, but the post-match antics were something to notice. All the lights went off, with only a white spotlight pointing at the ramp. Magnum TA, in a white robe, was standing there. He took off his hood to reveal his mustache and a microphone. "Regal, I am a new man. I am a monk. I am the disciple of the power of the light. I will guide you to the right path. Come with me, and hand over the belt. Resistance is futile." Regal replied with a simple "Bloody wanker", which Magnum didn't appreciate. "Very well. Then...DIE!!!" Magnum pointred his hands at Regal, and started shaking. Just like in the Ghostbusters movie, Magnum TA was acting like Gozer. The difference is, Magnum didn't really shoot lightning from his hands. Magnum then put on his hood again, and went back to the dressing room. Regal was just puzzled, and decided he would kick the guy's ass on PPV.
In the next match, Tiger Ali Singh defeated Sabu in a practice match for the Toaster, Ladders and Chairs match that would take place at RFH. Eddie Guerrero was doing special commentary with Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan, and once Singh won the match, Guerrero jumped into the ring and offered a handshake to Singh. Tiger refused and tried to punch Eddie, who ducked. He then planted Tiger with a DDT and finished things off with a Frog Splash.
Malenko and Benoit, known as the Tap-Out Machines, defeated Volkoff and Glacier in an easy match. Jericho and La Parka were just on guest commentary, Jericho saying smartass jokes and La Parka dancing on top of the table. Unless Steiner and Hardy can do miracle work on PPV, the night will be easy for the team of La Parka, Jericho, Benoit and Malenko. Let's hope Steiner can teahc a thing or two to the hasbeens.
Backstage, Cornette was telling Vader that after the beating they endured last week, he was able to secure a tag team match against Steiner and Angle for tonight. The thing is, nobody wants to team with Vader, probably because he is a dangerous lunatic. Vader said he would find himself a partner, and that Cornette should worry about nursing his injuries.
Rick Martel once again defeated the leather-clad Shawn Michaels after a STO. Martelwas already the man who pinned Michaels last week during the six-men tag match. Could this spell the end of S&M's Tag Title reign? Lance Storm and his partner are on the good path at this moment.
Chris Sabin then defeated Shark Boy in an impressive match. The two put on quite a show, which will probably be the same on PPV. The Future vs Liger, Dragon, Hurricane and Shark Boy might be the show stealer at Recipe For Hate.
In Tag-Team action, Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart defeated Lou Thesz and Verne Gagne. Gagne had his dreaded Sleeper Hold locked on Neidhart, but Hart was there to save the day. He knocked Thesz off the apron before tagging himself in when Gagne was too close to his corner. He took Gagne down, and less than a minute later, Verne had submitted to the Sharpshooter. This battle will end once and for all at Recipe For Hate, and the winner will decide who will be the General Manager of the federation.
Kurt Angle and Scott Steiner then came out for the main-event. They were waiting for Vader to come out, and after about two minutes, Vader emerged from the back with...Kid Romeo? Yes, Vader was carrying the Kid on his shoulders, and Romeo was just trying to get out of there. Vader was simply yelling "SHUT UP! YOU WILL BE MY PARTNER!". After dominating everybody for most of the match, Vader made one error. He taged in Romeo. One Angle Slam later, and Kurt and Scott escaped with the victory. Vader, of course, was encouraged by Cornette to take his frustrations out on Kid Romeo to end the show.
Here is the final card for...
KPW Recipe For Hate 2004
-No Holds Barred, No DQ, Hardcore Elimination Match, Winner decides of General Manager
The Old School (Carpentier, Thesz, Gagne & Kowalski) vs The Hart Foundation (B. Hart, O. Hart, Neidhart and Smith)
-KPW World Heavyweight Championship Match
Kurt Angle © vs Vader
-Toaster, Ladders and Chairs Match for the KPW Canadian Championship
Eddie Guerrero © vs Tiger Ali Singh
-KPW Tag Team Championship Match
S&M © vs Canadian Excellence
-KPW TV Championship Match
William Regal © vs Magnum TA
-KPW X Championship Match
Super Crazy © vs Dos
-Elimination Match
The Future (Orton, Dupree, Sabin & Punk) vs Ultimo Dragon, Jushin Liger, The Hurricane & Shark Boy
-Elimination Match
JBL's Empire (JBL, IRS, Rodney Mack & El Dandy) vs Ron Killings, Chaz, Sabu & Ken Shamrock
-Elimination Match
Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Chris Jericho & La Parka vs Matt Hardy, Scott Steiner, Nikolai Volkoff & Glacier
Remember:
-2 points for predicting winner
-1 points for each survivor predicted.
Predict now!
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Results of KPW Monday Night Mope November 15th 2004 #3:
Super Crazy pinned Uno after a dragon suplex in 0:05:06.
Rating: *** 3/4
(Super Crazy retained the KPW X Title.)
Magnum T.A. pinned Rico with the Belly-to-Belly Suplex in 0:07:10.
Rating: *** 1/2
William Regal defeated Chaz when Chaz passed out in the Regal Stretch in
0:11:50.
Rating: *** 1/4
(William Regal retained the KPW Television Title.)
Canadian Excellence (Lance Storm and Rick Martel) and Tiger Ali Singh defeated
S&M (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty) and Eddie Guerrero when Martel pinned
S. Michaels after a German suplex in 0:15:04.
Rating: ****
Matt Hardy pinned La Parka with the Twist Of Fate in 0:08:07.
Rating: ** 3/4
Vader pinned Scott Steiner with the Choke Slam in 0:07:27.
Rating: ***
Rene Dupree pinned Jushin Liger with the French Riviera in 0:10:57.
Rating: *** 1/4
Verne Gagne made Davey Boy Smith submit to the Gagne Sleeper in 0:08:19.
Rating: *** 1/2
Kurt Angle made Lou Thesz submit to the Ankle Lock in 0:36:18.
Rating: *****
(Kurt Angle retained the KPW World Title.)
Card rating: *** 3/4
Match observations:
We started the night off with a Squash match, as Super crazy faced the partner of the #1 contender to his X-Title. Yes, we are talking of Los Conquistador Uno. Of course, the match was short and painful, and Crazy's victory never was in doubt. Super Crazy will meet Los Conquistadors Dos at Recipe For Hate, and you know that can't be good for buyrates.
Kurt Angle then came to the ring to brag about his abilities, and to simply say that even though Vader was a big, scary, manly monster, he was not afraid. He even said that he would wrestler the toughest the World had to offer. Out from the back came...Lou Thesz! "Sorry Lou, but Prince Iaukea was supposed to come out here as a joke so that I could hae a squash match" said Kurt. Lou replied that he wanted to give everybody a real good match, and the fans of course agreed at the thought of that dream match. Kurt knew that he could be overmatched for once. Lou, being a good sport, said he would give Angle until the end of the night to prepare instead of having the match right now like it was scheduled. Angle fearing his title could be in jeopardy before Recipe For Hate could ever take place, retreated to the back.
The lights then went out, and a strange, monk-like music ressembling the old theme of Hakushi started. Out came a man wearing a white robe, and yes, it was Magnum TA, full of mustache as usual. Rico then made his entrance, laughing his ass off. A calm Magnum kicked his ass with asiatic thrusts and karate chops. It looks like Magnum did get some training in the time he was gone. After about 7 minutes, Magnum ended it all for his first win in a while, ending his losing streak. A quick challenge to William Regal's TV title was then made, which shows that Magnum is now full of confidence.
The Hart Foundation was then bragging, as always. Tonight, Davey Boy Smith will face Verne Gagne, in another match in the never-ending war. Edouard and his troops entered the Foundation's locker room, warning them that even though they have the upper-hand right now, they still have the experience, and it can mean a lot. Jim Neidhart laughed an evil laugh, which prompted an insulted Killer Kowalski to try to rip off his goatee. Dozens of officials were needed to break up the fight.
Canadian Excellence and Tiger Ali Singh defeated S&M & Eddie Guerrero when Michaels was pinned by Martel after a German Suplex. Both teams functioned pretty well actually, and of course, the ref had a hard time keeping Guerrero and Singh seperated. Tiger seems to be a man on a mission, but Guerrero just won't lose his focus so easily. Guerrero has been the Canadian Champion for a while now, and it looks like nothing will stop him. S&M, on the other hand, are still happy, even though they lost.
Two new elimination matches were then announced during a commercial break. The Future will face Ultimo Dragon, Shark Boy, The Hurricane and Jushin Liger, while Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, La Parka and Chris Jericho will face Matt Hardy, Scott Steiner, Nikolai Volkoff and Glacier. All of this at Recipe For Hate!
In what can be considered an upset, since I am the guy booking this thing, Matt Hardy defeated La Parka CLEAN. After a Twist of Fate, La Parka was down for the count as Matt Hardy was congratulated by Volkoff and Glacier, who were accompanying him to the ring. What can I say? These two losers would be happy to be associated with Roseanne if it meant they had a friend. Matt Hardy tried to escape their hugs, to no avail.
In what could be a preview, Vader KILLED Scott Steiner. Not really killed him, but Vader dominated the match from start to finish. Steiner fell victim to a choke slam in the end, and Vader had the victory, Angle looked on from the monitor in his locker room, and of course, his concentration was broken.
In the next match, Rene Dupree defeated Jushin Liger, but not without an interference from Randy Orton, who was just angry that soemone got the better of him last week. Dupree and Orton ran away, celebrating, before Liger's friends could do anything. That could make for another interesting match-up at Recipe For Hate.
Verne Gagne then proceeded to defeat Davey Boy Smith with a friggin' SLEEPER HOLD. I get those holds where more powerful back in the day, just like an armbar in a Gagne vs Bockwinkle match. Anyway, it was still a classy match, until the end, that is. A giant melee including every Hart Foundation and Old School members started, and by the time it stopped, blood was everywhere. The Recipe For Hate stipulation in the Main-Event will be welcomed.
In the main-event, a still exhausted Lou Thesz, who participated in the previous battle, brought Kurt Angle to the limit. After 35 minutes of back and forth battle, Angle reversed an attemped Thesz press into an Angle Slam. He then applied the Ankle Lock for the win. Surprisingly, they both shook hands after the match, until Vader came from behind and leveled Angle. Steiner was there to protect his boss, and ten chair shots later, Vader was down. Jim Cornette was then brought in, and was put in the Ankle Lock until Vader came to his sense. As soon as he got up, Angle and Steiner fled, leaving vader to pick up his manager and bring him to the back.
Yeah, another great show.
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Results of KPW Monday Night Mope November 8th 2004:
Canadian Excellence (Lance Storm and Rick Martel) beat
Nikolai Volkoff and Glacier in 0:05:04.
Rating: **** 1/4
Dos pinned Paul London with the Impaler in 0:07:19.
Rating: * 1/4
William Regal defeated Dean Malenko by countout in 0:05:34.
Rating: * 1/2
(William Regal retained the KPW Television Title.)
Chris Benoit made Scott Steiner submit to the Crippler Crossface in 0:11:20.
Rating: *** 1/2
Rodney Mack and Irwin R. Schyster defeated Mental Case (Ken Shamrock and Sabu)
when R. Mack pinned Shamrock after a double underhook piledriver in 0:12:12.
Rating: ** 1/4
Eddie Guerrero pinned John "Bradshaw" Layfield after a frog splash in 0:14:33.
Rating: *** 1/4
(Eddie Guerrero retained the KPW Canadian Title.)
No-Time-Limit-Triangle Match:
Vader defeated Chris Jericho and La Parka when Vader pinned La Parka after
the Vader Bomb in 0:25:13.
Rating: **** 1/4
Randy Orton and Ultimo Dragon battled to a no-contest in 0:05:21.
Rating: ** 3/4
No-Time-Limit-Match:
Bret Hart made Edouard Carpentier submit to the Sharpshooter in 0:25:09.
Rating: **** 1/2
Card rating: *** 1/4
Match observations:
The Recipe For Hate card is starting to shape up, as we had ever more matches announced this week. We started the show with The Hart Foundation out to announce their decision. With Neidhart's victory against Verne Gagne last week, The Foundation was able to decide that the Elimination match at the PPV would not only be to decide who would make the decisions around here, but the match would also be a No-DQ, No Hold Barred, Hardcore Elimination match. The Foundation said that it was to make sure that the Stable War would be over once and for all after that. Edouard Carpentier and his gang came out, and Carpentier challenged Bret to a one-on-one match at the end of the night. Hart agreed, saying it would be a preview of things to come in two weeks.
In the first match of the evening, Canadian Excellence solidified their position as the #1 contenders to S&M's tag team title by defeating the team of Nikolai Volkoff and Glacier. These two decided to stick together for a while, and even decided to call themselves "Siberian Cold". The name "No-Good Jobbers" probably was already trademarked.
Dos, of Los Conquistadores, won a Battle Royal last week to be named #1 contender to the X-Title of Super Crazy. People wanted to know if it was a fluke, and somehow, Dos triumphed again tonight by defeating the poor Paul London. This seemed to bring out a more aggressive side of London, who decided to let his anger out by leveling Dos with a chair. London was about to execute a shooting star press on Dos, but Uno made the save by dragging his partner out of the ring.
Backstage, JBL's Empire was plotting when Chaz and Ron Killings came in. JBL said that at Recipe for Hate, him and his gang of financial thugs would face Chaz, Killings and two partners of their choice. Chaz said their choice was already made, and when questioned of who it would be, Killings said that they would know when their partners would face Rodney Mack and IRS later on. MYSTERY!!!
It was also announced that the two losers of the triple threat match of the number one contendership match tonight would team with the Tap-Out Machines at the PPV against Matt Hardy, Scott Steiner, Nikolai Volkoff and Glacier in an Elimination match. Upon announcement, Steiner cursed as usual and said it was time to take care of business.
Steiner wasn't bluffing, as the next match, scheduled between William Regal and Dean Malenko, ended with a count-out. Malenko was dragged out of the ring and beaten down by Steiner after an unfortunate ref bump. Regal was angry, but didn't want to lose his title. Who will face Regal at Recipe For Hate? Nobody knows for sure at this moment.
Benoit ran in for the save, and challenged Steiner to an match on the fly. Steiner ended up tapping-out to the Crossface. Benoit and Malenko retreated after a great moral victory.
Backstage, in The Future's locker room, the morale was low. Dupree's loss last week meant that their stable was out of the running to decide of who would make the decisions in KPW. In came Ultimo Dragon, who for apparently no reasons at all, challenged Randy Orton to a match tonight. Thinking it would be a good way to take out his frustrations, Orton agreed. What might come out of this?
Finally, IRS and Rodney Mack came out to the ring. Chaz and Killings finally introduced the team of Sabu and ken Shamrock, known as Mental Cases, as their partners at Recipe For Hate. Unfortunately for them, as Shamrock had Mack in the ankle lock, JBL and El Dandy ran to the ring. Layfield threw Dandy as a sacrificial lamb to Chaz and Killings. He took the oppotunity to hit a Clothesline From Hell on Shamrock. Mack finished him off with a piledriver for the win. We can be sure that it will be a great match on PPV.
Eddie Guerrero was then scheduled for action against Layfield himself. Guerrero picked up the victory, but after the match, Tiger Ali Singh finally got revenge on Guerrero by hitting him with his beloved toaster. After the beatdown, Tiger laid down his challenge for the PPV. Guerrero against him in a Toaster, Ladders and Chairs match. Guerrero of course agreed, wanting to put an end to all of this. YES, I invented a new match type. :cool:
In the #1 contender match, Jericho and La Parka entered first, waiting for the introduction of the mystery man hyped by Jim Cornette last week. After a great intro by the tennis-racket wielding man, a familiar musci hit. "IT'S TIME! IT'S TIME! IT'S VADER TIME!". The monstrous Vader came out to the ring, stricking fear in his opponent's heart. After a great match, La Parka fell victim to the Vader Bomb, securing Vader's place as the number 1 contender to Kurt Angle's World Title. In the back, Kurt Angle watched on, shaking in his boots at the thought of facing such a monster in the ring.
A weird promo aired. Magnum TA, who disappeared a few months ago after a losing streak, was with Monks, sitting Indian-Style and meditating. He had a hood over his head, and when he finally noticed the camera, he said this: "You know, after losing week after week, I thought I didn't have my place in wrestling anymore. I was wrong. After clearing my head for a while, I realized that I still had wonderful hings to accomplish in my career. Great things are in store for me. Peace to all of you. Magnum TA is coming back soon.". The rest of the locker room laughed their asses off at the sight of Magnum TA wearing a white robe and a hood.
Randy Orton then faced Ultimo Dragon, thinking he would have it easy. It turned out to be just the opposite as Jyushin Lyger, Shark Boy and The Hurricane ran in to beat Orton down. Hurricane took the microphone to say that this was not a new stable, but an association. He said that the silent guys, like Dragon, Lyger and Sharky were never getting recognition. The only thing that they want is to be noticed, and what better way to achive this than beating down a great stable leader? Hurricane barely had time to challenge The Future to an elimination match at Recipe For Hate before Dupree, Punk and Sabin ran out for the save.
In the main-event, Bret Hart and Edouard Carpentier fought in a great match, giving everything they had for over 25 minutes. In the end, Carpentier submitted to the Sharpshooter, and Hart celebrated with his teammates. The show went to an end, and things are looking good for the Hart Foundation.
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Results of KPW Monday Night Mope November 1st 2004:
William Regal pinned Ron Killings after an arm trap shoulder neckbreaker in
0:07:23.
Rating: ** 3/4
(William Regal retained the KPW Television Title.)
Tiger Ali Singh pinned Chaz after a Tiger Suplex in 0:07:05.
Rating: **** 1/4
S&M (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty) defeated Scott Steiner and Kurt Angle
when S. Michaels pinned S. Steiner with the Sweet Chin Music in 0:10:51.
Rating: ***
(S&M retained the KPW World Tag Team Titles.)
20-Man Battle Royal:
Dos won a 20-man Battle Royal:
x AmDrag threw out Hijo del Santo in 0:11:00
x Iaukea threw out Lyger in 0:13:10
x Rave threw out Volkoff in 0:14:41
x Sabin threw out Rave after a facerake in 0:14:52
x Glacier threw out Sabin in 0:15:10
x Shark threw out Villano IV after an arm bite in 0:17:49
x Nana threw out Glacier after a side headlock in 0:20:31
x Villano V threw out Punk after a diving tope in 0:20:39
x Iaukea threw out Uno after a facerake in 0:27:53
x Hurricane threw out U. Dragon after a duck-down move in 0:28:13
x Hurricane threw out Iaukea in 0:28:14
x Shark threw out Dandy in 0:32:41
x Villano V threw out Hurricane after a vertical suplex in 0:34:03
x London threw out Shark after a flying dropkick in 0:35:51
x London threw out AmDrag in 0:35:53
x Romeo threw out Villano V in 0:41:31
x Dos threw out Nana in 0:42:15
x Dos threw out Romeo after a legdrop in 0:46:08
x Dos threw out London after a side step in 0:50:34
Rating: ***
Four Corners Match:
Verne Gagne defeated Jim Neidhart, Rene Dupree and Rodney Mack:
x R. Dupree beat R. Mack via the French Riviera in 0:15:03
x Neidhart beat R. Dupree via the Flying Shoulderblock in 0:20:05
x V. Gagne beat Neidhart via the Gagne Sleeper in 0:22:22
Rating: * 1/2
Card rating: ** 1/4
Match observations:
Well, we had a great show coming off a great PPV. We started with Bret Hart in the ring, unveiling his master plan. At the November PPV, titled "Recipe For Hate" like that great Bad Religion song, there will be a "Survivor Series" theme. Two of the three stables will face each others in an elimination match, and the winner will be able to decide who will become the General Manager of KPW. The GM will be able to make decisions on the fly, unlike the current president, who shows up once in a while. Tonight, a lottery will be held in each stable. There will be one man chosen to represent each stable, and they will face off in a three-way match. The wrestler who gets pinned gets his stable out of the match.
Everything was fine, until JBL, El Dandy, IRS and Rodney Mack came out to the ring. They just noticed that there was a stable feud, and they want to control the show too. They got a letter from KPW president that allows them to participate in the main-event. The match is now modified, and theis will be a four-way elimination match. The first two men eliminated get their stable out of the PPV Main Event. The last two wrestlers in the match will continue to fight, and the winner also gets to decide which stipulation shall rule the match. Bret Hart is once again frustrated to see his plans stopped by somebody else.
We then had a TV title match pitting Killings against Regal. The match was still fairly even until El Dandy was sent to the ring with a chair. The ref saw him, which allowed JBL to sneak from behind and get the Clothesline on Killings. Regal turned around to see Killings slowly getting up, and he executed his neckbreaker for the win.
JBL and his gang made their presence felt AGAIN in the following match. Tiger Ali Singh was facing Chaz, who was about to finish things off. IRS ran to the ring, got a big lowblow on Chaz, and Tiger Ali Singh only had to cover the poor Chaz, who was caring about his future children. It looks like JBL and his Empire are still looking for trouble.
While waiting for his next opponent to be decided, Kurt Angle tried to add more gold to his collection by teaming with his bodyguard, Scott Steiner, against S&M. They were not ready for Shawn and Marty's new found chemistry, as the two leather-clad men were able to dispose of their opponents with relative ease. Angle is a great wrestler, but nobody can match S&M's as a team.
Just after that, La Parka and Chris Jericho were seen backstage, trying to decide who should get a rematch against Kurt Angle. After all, but men had a pretty good match against Angle. They agreed to a match next week, with the winner getting the title shot. It is then that Jim Cornette came in, with his tennis racket. He said that he had a special someone who deserved a title shot more than anybody. A man that had been screwed by everybody during his career. He said that the man in question was coming to KPW NEXT WEEK, and that he was about to make an impact. Jericho was a bit curious to know who the third mystery man would be, while La Parka shook his knees.
Up next was a great X-Division Battle Royale to decide who would face Super Crazy at the next PPV. With names like El Hijo Del Santo, Ultimo Dragon and Jyushyn Lyger in the match, fans knew they would get a great bout. Instead, they got Prince Nana, Kid Romeo, Paul London and Los Conquistador Dos as their final four. Somehow, Dos was able to survive and actually WIN the ballte royal. Yes, a man in a golden bodysuit and mask will face Super Crazy for the X-Title.
In the main-event, it turned out to be Jim Neidhart, Verne Gagne, Rene Dupree and Rodney Mack battling for a place at Recipe For Hate. Mack was the first to go, followed by Dupree. In the end, Verne Gagne defeated Jim Neidhart, so The Old School will be able to decide the environment in which they will face The Hart Foundation on PPV.
Tune in next week for more KPW action.
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Results of KPW Anxiety 2004:
X Title Match:
Super Crazy defeated Nikolai Volkoff and Glacier:
x Crazy beat Volkoff via the Spider Bomb in 0:05:09
x Crazy beat Glacier via the Spider Bomb in 0:07:10
Rating: ** 1/2
(Super Crazy retained the KPW X Title.)
In the backstage area, Michael Cole is interviewing Chris Jericho about his big
match later on in the night.
MC: So, Chris, this is your first Championship match and you entered KPW less
than a month ago. Are you confident in your chances to win this match?
CJ: Of course I am Michael. You see, Kurt Angle won't have the support from
Scott Steiner in this match because the juiced up bastard will be occupied
with La Parka anyway. Also, Kurt Angle sucks, and the only guy that probably
sucks more than Kurt Angle on the roster is Scott Steiner. I would say that
my chances are pretty good.
MC: You seem to forget that Angle is an Olympic Champion.
CJ: So what? That was eight years ago. You wanna know what I was doing eight
years ago? I was already wrestling my ass off all over the globe. Even then,
I was better than Angle is now. His reign is a fluke. When you have to try
two times to defeat La Parka, your reign is probably a fluke.
MC: La Parka is probably the most dominant champion KPW had until now.
CJ: La Parka was the only champ before Angle.
MC: Point well taken.
CJ: Anyway, the only thing you gotta remember is this. Angle sucks, Jericho
rules. Even if Angle gets another fluke victory tonight and defeat me, you
know I will make it back to the top of the mountain for another title shot
anyway. It will just be delayed. Oh yeah, and I saw Kurt Angle doing sexual
things with El Dandy backstage.
MC: That is irrelevant.
CJ: Yeah, but that will probably throw off his concentration.
MC: That was Chris Jericho folks. Let's wish him good luck for the Title
match tonight.
Tag Team Match:
Canadian Excellence (Lance Storm and Rick Martel) defeated
The Tap-Out Machines (Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko) when Martel made D. Malenko
submit to the Quebec Crab in 0:16:34.
Rating: *** 1/4
This time, Tony Schiavone is backstage with Kurt Angle, while Scott Steiner is
standing behind Angle doing what bodyguards do best, namely looking menacing.
TS: Kurt, in what is probably the greatest match IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT,
you are going to face Chris Jericho in a World Title match. Jericho basically
said you sucked. What is your answer.
KA: Oh listen, it's not because I have a head shaped like a penis that I
suck! Jericho is probably on crack, or on that strong "Canadian beer" that is
supposedly so reknowned all around the world. Well guess what. While Canada
was busy bragging about their beer, I was busy kicking ass all around the world
for the best part of the last 5 years. I just triumphed here in KPW, and even
though I got that title on my second try, it would be foolish to think that
my victory is a fluke.
TS: Why would it be foolish? Many people claim you have that belt because
Steiner blatantly interfered in your match last time to hand you the belt on a
silver plate.
KA: Come on. Steiner is my bodyguard, we are working like one unit. He did
not do anything wrong. Anyway, Jericho is gonna tap-out tonight, and that is
the important thing.
TS: What makes you think you will make Jericho submit?
KA: Well, I set up a bear trap at the door of his locker room. Hopefully, he
will stick his foot in it, crushing his ankle just in time for our match where
he will fall victim to my ankle lock. YES.
Schiavone walks away while Angle points to his brain and Steiner laughs for no
reason at all.
TV Title Match:
William Regal made Matt Hardy submit to the Regal Stretch in 0:10:46.
Rating: *** 1/4
(William Regal retained the KPW Television Title.)
JBL, IRS and El Dandy all enter Ron Killings and Chaz's locker room. The group
stops in front of them and JBL starts to talk.
JBL: All right guys. As you know, I have something prepared just in case you
two still refuse to join the ranks of my employees. I warn you. You should
accept, because that surprise could very well spell your end. So, what are you
saying?
RK: Look John, I spat in your face, Chaz and I fought you all over the country.
I thought we made ourselves clear. You can bring in whatever you want, we will
take it and still fight you after.
ED: Come on boss, let me kick their asses!
JBL: Calm down Dandy. This was their last warning. Right now, we are going to
go to the ring, and once it is all said and done, a fury of epic proportions
will be unleashed upon them.
C: I am shaking in my boots right now.
JBL and his empire leave the room, with the mystery of just what is going to
happen still complete.
Tag Team Match:
Ron Killings and Chaz defeated Irwin R. Schyster and John "Bradshaw" Layfield
when Killings pinned I.R.S. with the Hat Rack Crack in 0:14:41.
Rating: ** 3/4
Immediately following the match, while Chaz and Killings are celebrating, Rodney Mack himself appears from the crowd with a lead pipe and bashes Chaz's head in. Killings tries to mount an attack, but he is stopped by El Dandy of all people. Of course, IRS and JBL quickly join the fight. Killings and Chaz end up bloodied, in the middle of the ring, while JBL and his gang celebrate their moral victory.
Somewhere in a locker room, just before their big match for the #1:
contendership for the Tag Team title...Chris Sabin and CM Punk are playing
rock paper scissors.
CS: YES. I WIN AGAIN.
Randy Orton, who has no match tonight, is quick to scold his teammates like the
good leader that he is.
RO: Come on guys! The team that wins this match has the chance to go for the
Tag Titles. You know we need this to lead some credibility to our cause. It
looks like nobody takes us seriously.
CS: Don't worry. I put sleeping pills in Gagne's arthritis pills. This one
is in the bag.
RO: :wtf:
CP: Yeah, and I tied the shoes of Jim Neidhart together. Just don't worry
Randy. We got this one under control.
RO: You know guys, I really questionned your decision to call yourselves after
a masturbation technique, but I accepted it. But this is serious. I would
really like it if you really prepared instead of playing childish pranks on
your oponents.
Strangers in the Night look at each others and look quite insulted.
CS: Randy, I thought you trusted us. Just let us do what we think is right.
I garantee you that you will love the results.
CP: Yeah. Now please let us play Twister. It's part of our stretching
routine.
RO: You're on next guys.
CS:...Oh.
Sabin and Punk get up and run to the ring, while their music is already
playing.
#1 Contendership to the Tag Title:
Strangers In The Night (Chris Sabin and CM Punk) defeated
The OSTD (Lou Thesz and Verne Gagne) and
The New Foundation (Jim Neidhart and Owen Hart) when Sabin pinned Thesz
with the Future Shock in 0:23:01.
Rating: *** 1/2
Grudge Match:
La Parka pinned Scott Steiner with the Twisting Bodyblock in 0:13:36.
Rating: ****
Tony Schiavone is BACKSTAGE, LIVE with...Marty Jannety. Oh, the excitement.:
TS: Marty, lately, we could't help but notice the dissension going on between
you and Shawn. It looks like he was at first relunctant at the idea of
teaming with you again. Then he was just pissed at the uniforms you are using
for this team, which includes latex and short leather outfits. Do you think
this is the end of your partnership?
MJ: *sniff* Tony...I just feel betrayed. Sure, I will go out here tonight and
do my best to defend the belt...But I can't garentee anything. I just feel so
down. I thought Shawn and me were a team. *sobing* I wrote a poem for this
occasion, I hope Shawn is looking at the monitor in his own private locker
room.
Shawn, my friend and partner
I tried my best to please you
I thought you could look past the leather
And see I'm trying my best too
I know I always end up on the floor
With you there to save my ass
Your sweet chin music makes me want more
Like laying down with you in the grass
Will you be my teammate again?
Stay with me until the end...
Janetty now cries like a baby. This is a...most touching scene.
TS: Thank you for these...sensual rhymes Marty. now stay the hell away from
me you creep.
Janetty slowly walks to the ring, crying all the way. Will Shawn be there for
him?
Tag Team Title Match:
S&M (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty) defeated
Mental Case (Ken Shamrock and Sabu) when Jannetty pinned Shamrock with the
Showstopper in 0:24:13.
Rating: *****
(S&M retained the KPW World Tag Team Titles.)
After the pin, Marty gets up, exhausted. Shawn looks at him with a sad face. Marty just looks deperate. Shawn does not quite know what to do...and hugs Marty. It looks like Marty's resilience won Shawn over! What a happy ending!
Tony Schiavone managed to run from one locker room from another, and also:
managed to take a long shower between the interview with Janetty and this one.
He is now standing with the very angry Tiger Ali Singh.
TS: Folks, I am here with the GREATEST INDIAN ATHLETE IN THE HISTORY OF OUR
SPORT! Tiger, do you think your chances of winning the title are that good?
TAS: This is not about the title Tony. Sure, if I could win the belt, that
would be a great thing, but what I want right now is just to DESTROY Eddie
Guerrero. What he did to me was an insult. He made this personnal. He...
A toaster comes in from nowehere and clonks Tiger right behind the head.
Tiger stumbles but still stays on his feet.
TAS: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
TS: That was a toaster hitting you behind the head.
TS: I HATE EDDIE GUERRERO! HE MUST DIE! HAAAAAAAAAAA!
Tiger Ali Singh runs to the ring, leaving Tony wondering what the hell
happened. You can hear Eddie Guerrero's distinct laugh as the segment comes
to an end.
Canadian Title Match:
Tiger Ali Singh defeated Eddie Guerrero by disqualification in 0:21:21.
Rating: ** 1/4
(Eddie Guerrero retained the KPW Canadian Title.)
World Title Match:
Kurt Angle made Chris Jericho submit to the Ankle Lock in 0:31:53.
Rating: *****
(Kurt Angle retained the KPW World Title.)
Card rating: *** 3/4
Match observations:
The night started out strong with a match that tortured the viewing crowd. Fortunately, Super Crazy was able to do quick work of the two washed-up hasbeens. This means that once again, the champion is in search of a challenger, but who will step up to the plate?
The Tap-Out Machines suffered in a defeat at the hands of Storm and Martel. Malenko had no choice but to submit after Benoit had been neutralized outside of the ring with a chairshot behind the ref's back. Of course, this is not over. The thing to ask though is how will these two teams settle this feud? We will know soon enough.
JBL & and gang introduced their newest thug, Rodney Mack. Even though the group lost to Killings and Chaz, JBL successfully showed them that he always have the last laugh. Of course, a group consisting of JBL, IRS, El Dandy and Rodney Mack would strike fear in anyone's heart, but will it be enough to dispose of the two resilient superstars?
William Regal retained his title during the bout with Matt Hardy. While it was nothing to write home about, it was still a respectable bout. Matt seems out of the title picture now, but rumours have been running around about Batista. The big man, who disappeared of the federation shortly after losing his TV title, seems ready for a comeback. Will he want a shot at Regal once again? Why do I always end up these match comments with questions?
Marty Janetty was a happy man following S&M's victory over Sabu and Ken Shamrock. It seems like Shawn Michaels finally accepted the fact that Marty was a bit "different". Let's wish the team a long life, and a long title reign.
Speaking of Tag Team title, Strangers in the Night did exactly what they said they would do and defeated The OSTD and The New Foundation for a shot at S&M. That should should take place on Mope soon. SITN are confident about being the first team to bring gold to their respective stable. However, you can bet that Marty will not let his belt go away that easy, especially after a tearful reunion with his partner.
La Parka successfully defeated his foe Scott Steiner. Steiner was dominating the bout completely until he made the mistake of doing push-ups to show off after a mighty overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Steiner got completely blown up after his push-ups, and had a lot of troubles getting up. La Parka took his chance and connected with his finisher for the well-earned win.
In one of the longest runnign feuds in KPW, Eddie Guerrero retained his Canadian championship even though Tiger Ali Singh triumphed. Eddie was down after a Tiger Suplex, and Singh saw an occasion to punish an helpless Guerrero once and for all. He grabbed a chair and completely destroyed Eddie, who had to be carried away on a stretcher after losing too much blood. Eddie won by disqualification, and once again, it does not look like these two settled their argument.
In the final match, Angle and Jericho went at it full tilt in a 5 star match. In the end, Angle won cleanly for once after a missed Lionsault that gave him the opportunity to pu on the Ankle Lock. After seevral minutes in the hold, Jericho had no choice but to tap-out. Of course, Steiner celebrated with his boss, but was blown up after trying to lift Angle on his shoulders.
Tune in next time for a Survivor Series-style PPV. You're gonna love it.
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My friends and I wrestled in front of about 100 people on gym mats, not even in a real ring, just because we liked it.
Even us got trained by a wrestler before we started wrestling. Everybody who tries to wrestle should be trained.
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I have that entire video.
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Rico + Kane = The Flaming Homosexuals.
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I find it funny to see JJ Rougeau on FLI wrestling against Kurrgan and all, since JJ Rougeau is about 13 or 14 years old.
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Does anybody has a pic of the Cattle Mutilation?
And I'll try to describe the Haas of pain.
1. Opponent on his belly.
2. Lock legs like you would for a Regal Stretch, but instead, put your right foot on the leg that is locked behind the opponent's knee.
3. Pull back until you are side to side with the opponent. The guy looks like his back is about to break.
http://haasofpain.com/images/wwe/011.jpg
http://haasofpain.com/images/wwe/012.jpg
Hope it helps.
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My Real Ghostbusters figures were a great stable, that's for sure. They had a feud against the Ninja turtles. I had my Stay Puft marshmallow man be a kind of unmovable monster, who only lost once, to that Frankenstein-like figure from the real gostbusters series.
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The Texas Cloverleaf is a good idea. I see a lot of matches where people try to do sharpshooters, but nobody goes for the cloverleaf. If you want an impact move, the enziguiri, if done right, is also a good idea. When I was wrestling, one of the small guys used an elevated reverse DDT. You go for a normal reverse DDT, lift the guy in a suplex and fall forward. That's a safe landing on his back, and it looks good.
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Mick Foley
Vader
Tommy Dreamer
Taka Michinoku
Jim Neidhart
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514 = 10, which makes Montreal a somewhat important city I guess.
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Bret is the best of the two. The guy who said that Bret only had two ***** matches in his career is on crack. Also, Flair needed a quality opponent to make his matches look good. Bret could get good matches out of Lafitte, Diesel, Yokozuna and pretty much anybody.
On the other hand, I look at Flair vs Rhodes, Flair vs Luger, etc. Sure, they are above what it had any right to be, but that does not mean it makes it good. On the flip side, check matches Bret had with bad wrestlers. It was not just above what the opponent was used to. It was GOOD.
That's the difference.
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The best thing is the guy who posted a pic of Jim Duggan with his thumbs up saying "Come on, sit on th dildo blender, tough guy!"
That had me laughing for about ten minutes.
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You have a soulseek account so that I can shamelessly download all of that from you?Yes... Do you?
Yes. Add me as Kapoutman and message me.
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Wow. There is a lot of stuff in there. Reading one page took me half an hour. I wiil go back there though. This is great.
And what's the thing about The Anvil and Davey anal-rapign their wives? That is a disturbing image.
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You have a soulseek account so that I can shamelessly download all of that from you?
Most Obscenely Funny Song
in Music
Posted · Report reply
Bloodhound Gang's "A Lapdance Is So Much better Whne The Stripper is Crying" probably has the funniest lyrics I ever listened to.
And I thought "Detachable Penis" was by Butthole Surfers?