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Was there any.........Jagermeister there?

So, what did you guys have for breakfast today?

Sappy? Yes maybe a little. But it involved Norm fuckin' MacDonald. So I read it, enjoyed it, and am eagerly awaiting the movie version. Can I play Barron?

Here I am as requested! ....and whats your purpose? To leave a good looking corpse........who's got a gun and believes in assisted suicides?

62?. He makes the users of this board feel like they have big penises 63. Has flatulence so potent it could end a marriage 64. His lack of showering saves water for the rest of us Sorry, I been drinking and couldn't think of any more........or maybe I just don't care 65. I don't care about him, so he is not another reason for my hair to fall out

You fuckin commie.

I would, but I am trying to keep my geek factor to a minimum tonight.

Here I am as requested!

As least no one is talking badly about me, the most beloved man on the board.

I can understand the conflict of interest point you may be trying to bring up, but I haven't heard anyone complain about TNA in any interviews on any sites. Has anyone? TNA doesn't do house shows, so there is no low payoffs. Plus they have medical insurance. What is there to complain about?

That is spectacular. I am all for this. First off, that was extremely well written. And I agree with everything you say. Segments of the church are extremely corrupt, and should be thoroughly investigated, regardless of the endless bitching that was come from the super religious nutcases.

From CNN.com TYLER, Texas (AP) -- A former priest who fled to South America to evade prosecution was sentenced by a jury to life in prison for sexually assaulting a 13-year-old altar girl. Gustavo DeJesus Cuello, a Colombian national who was returned to Texas in July to face charges, pleaded guilty to aggravated sexual assault two weeks ago but requested a jury trial on the punishment phase after state District Judge Cynthia Kent said she would sentence him to 50 years. The victim, now 21, thanked the jury after the sentencing Thursday, saying, "After seven years, I can finally live in peace because this monster is going away." She told Cuello she hated him for destroying her life and yelled to the courtroom, "To everyone supporting him, all I have is hate for you." A number of parishioners had spoken in Cuello's defense during the two days of testimony, including one woman who said the victim was partly to blame. Cuello, 40, was removed from the priesthood after his 1997 arrest for the systematic abuse of the victim in his office at Our Lady of Guadalupe Catholic Church in Tyler. He fled the country after he was released on bail, raised largely by parishioners. Cuello was married and working in the private sector when he was recaptured six years later in Ecuador. In a confession to FBI agents who tracked him down, he admitted having sex with the girl once or twice a week for at least six months.

That sucks. I hate hearing about how the guys are having a rough time these days.

The transcript of Kobe Bryant's interview with ESPN's Jim Gray: GRAY: What was your reaction to Shaq saying the Lakers are his team, and everybody knows it? BRYANT: It doesn't matter whose team it is. Nobody cares. I don't, Karl [Malone] doesn't, Gary [Payton] doesn't, and our teammates and the fans don't either. There's more to life than whose team this is. But this is his team, so it's time for him to act like it. That means no more coming into camp fat and out of shape, when your team is relying on your leadership on and off the court. It also means no more blaming others for our team's failure, or blaming staff members for not overdramatizing your injuries so that you avoid blame for your lack of conditioning. Also, "my team" doesn't mean only when we win, it means carrying the burden of defeat just as gracefully as you carry a championship trophy. GRAY: Do you consider Shaq to be a leader? BRYANT: Leaders don't beg for a contract extension and negotiate some 30 million [dollars] plus per year deal in the media when we have two future Hall of Famers playing here pretty much for free. A leader would not demand the ball every time down the floor when you have the three of us [Malone, Payton, Bryant] playing beside you, not to mention the teammates you have gone to war with for years -- and, by the way, then threaten not to play defense and rebound if you don't get the ball every time down the floor. GRAY: Shaq says that you have not been a team player. Is he right? BRYANT: That's ridiculous. I have been successfully sacrificing my game for years for Shaq. That's what Phil [Jackson] wanted me to do, so I did it. Last year Phil told me Shaq was not in physical condition to carry the trust of our offense, so he asked me to do it. But then he saw Shaq was getting upset that the team wasn't running through him, so Phil asked me to pull back and I did. This year is no different; my role is whatever Phil want it to be. Period. GRAY: Through out the preseason, your leg and conditioning has been lagging. Are you in the proper shape to start the season? BRYANT: My knee is not strong enough to play yet. I know it. When it is I will play. GRAY: Does that mean you will miss the opener [Tuesday] night and other games? BRYANT: I probably won't play tomorrow night or until I'm ready. But I don't need Shaq's advice on how to play hurt. I've played with IVs before, during and after games. I've played with a broken hand, a sprained ankle, a torn shoulder, a fractured tooth, a severed lip, and a knee the size of a softball. I don't miss 15 games because of a toe injury that everybody knows wasn't that serious in the first place. GRAY: Kobe, Shaq said if you didn't like what he had to say you can opt out and leave next season. Will you leave the Lakers? BRYANT: I won't make that decision until the end of the season. I told Shaq last year that I was planning on opting out. He knew before anyone. I told him out of respect for what we have been through together. I thought he should be the first to know. The fact that he acts like this is such a big shock is a mystery to me. If leaving the Lakers at the end of the season is what I decide, a major reason for that will be Shaq's childlike selfishness and jealousy. GRAY: Do you feel Shaq has been supportive in regards to your legal situation? BRYANT: He is not my quote unquote "big brother." A big brother would have called to lend his support this summer. I heard absolutely nothing from him. I spoke to Devon [George], Rick [Fox], Mitch [Kupchak], Phil, and our owner Jerry Buss. And Shaq's own Uncle Jerome called and left three messages. Other teammates like Derek [Fisher], Mark [Madsen], and [stanislav Medvedenko] left messages as well. Opponents called like [Chris] Webber, [Mike] Bibby, and many others. So did a lot of coaches. Michael Jordan, who didn't have my home phone, tracked it down to lend his support. So did Tiger Woods. But yet from my so-called big brother, I heard nothing. GRAY: Why not resolve this behind closed doors? Why is this so public? BRYANT: I asked Phil on Sunday [yesterday] to say something to calm this situation down before it boiled over. But he backed away, so now here we are. I have been a bigger person every time something happened with Shaq, and I don't expect this to be any different. But somebody in this organization had to speak up, because his unprofessionalism hurt us last year, and I don't want it to hurt us this year.

Malone doesn't need to bitch;he could just drop Kobe or Shaq with his vicious Diamond Cutter!

Thanks, but I am only called that when I am wearing my bathing suit. I even considered getting elephant ears tattooed on each thigh.

Tiny Lister could never be President, let's be realistic. The whites in America would never elect a.............guy with a cross eye. He would make a great President. The US could no-sell any atomic attack; but God forbid Al-Queda ever learn the "Hulk-up," or get a large suply of baby powder. Every country would be hiding all their shit every time President Lister stopped by. "Oh shit, it's Deebo!"

Hmmmm, do I have access to every input?

I expect a segment on Confidential.

Chicks dig a little bit of a gut, don't worry about it.

**Hello Warriors. Those of you who have continued to follow my career going-ons know Ultimate Warrior has long been waiting for the perfect (and principled) time to unleash a ring return. Amidst the never-ending rumors and mistruths spread by others, the time to return has come and is now and it is with Acclaim! An entertainment promotion with class, pride and integrity. After many years of absence, I am thrilled to be working again with Acclaim’s talented, creative and professional staff on the new, next-level of their Legends of Wrestling: SHOWDOWN video game! Acclaim has assured me that Ultimate Warrior rises and soars and rules, shakes ropes, shatters hopes and awakens the Gods of Parts Unknown again in this incredible opportunity to settle ALL SCORES, unfinished business and even new beefs!, in the ULTIMATE place to do battle -- THE SHOWDOWN RING! The intensity of Ultimate Warrior lives again. AWESOME! F-F-F-e-e-l t-h-e P-o-w-e-r!! For more lowdown on Showdown go here: http://www.LegendsShowdown.com** What a cheesedick............

from smnnews.com "Rumor is going around that Zakk Wylde has been kicked out or left OZZY. But the rumor has been shot down by a spokesman for Zakk. Now we just need explanation on why Buckethead was rumored to be playing with OZZY."

from CNN.com LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Actor Tom Sizemore Monday was sentenced to six months in jail for beating up his former girlfriend, the one-time "Hollywood Madam," Heidi Fleiss. Sizemore, best known for his parts in "Saving Private Ryan" and "Black Hawk Down," was convicted in August of domestic violence, making criminal threats and harassing Fleiss during their stormy one-year relationship. The 41-year-old actor, who has admitted an addiction to crystal methamphetamine, must first complete a residential drug rehab program that he started last month before beginning his jail term in January. He was also given three years probation and ordered to undergo anger management counseling. Sizemore was convicted of hitting Fleiss in the jaw during a brawl at a posh Beverly Hills hotel. Fleiss, who served time in jail for running a 1990s call-girl ring for Hollywood's rich and famous, also testified at trial that Sizemore stubbed a cigarette out on her and once knocked her to the ground outside his home. The actor later terrified her by making more than than 70 obscenity-laced phone calls. Sizemore, who denied the charges but did not testify at trial, said in a letter to the judge released Monday that he was "very chastened by the trial and my convictions." "In recent months, I have permitted my personal demons to take over my life. I do not want to make excuses but I am convinced that if I had not been under the influence of drugs, I would have controlled my behavior," Sizemore wrote. Fleiss said in a statement that she "loved that man and I was very good to him and what he did to me was wrong. I want to pretend I never met him." She had testified that she decided to go to the police after Sizemore threatened to kill her younger brother.

Wait, Lenny's a black and a jew? I always thought he was queer too, I mean "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" Speaks for itself, doesn't it?

Well I posted the story on the problems between Kobe and Shaq yesterday only to find out it was in that other thread I would never bother to read. I second the fact that there will be a lot of big stories coming out of the NBA this year that should probably get their own threads. And I don't even give too much of a shit about basketball. Besides I like starting threads because i am an ATTENTION WHORE!