Cuban Linx

For steals so far, how about Clint Barmes? Currently ranked 5th among batters and playing out of his mind, and he wasn't even drafted at all, i picked him up as a free agent on a whim before the season started. I seem to have good luck with free agents in this league, last year i grabbed Adrian Beltre and ended up with a MVP candidate. While i very much doubt Barmes will be that good he's looking like a runaway Rookie of the Year at least.

If Edge was from Oklahoma, a former football player or Steve Austin i'm sure JR would bother to learn his moves correctly, unless a wrestler fits into one of the above categories JR hardly sems to care anymore, and hasn't for a long time.

Hawke IL

A 7-0-3 win that puts me in dead last place. And now i get to face the 1st place team, lucky me.

As for me, my numerous failures have left little to be proud of, though there's a small handful of matches that seem to indicate i didn't always totally suck. There's a few back in my IGNJL/SJL days before i became the no-showing monster i am today, from the SWF there's only really one match that warrants mention. 13th Hour 2003 The opening match of 13th Hour to be exact, Beezel vs Crow vs Renegade vs Johnny Dangerous vs Stryke, five-way elimination for the ICTV Title #1 Contendership, one of my countless return matches. Off the top of my head it's the longest non-Clusterfuck/Non-Wargames/Non-Divefire match i can think of, clocking in at a verbose 17,002 words. I don't know if it still holds up, and looking back it seems part of the middle section with the first elimination was cut off when it was posted, but it's the only SWF thing i've done that got any notable amount of praise, and i suppose i am rather proud that i was able to turn the ultimate thrown-together PPV match into something memorable that got more comments than anything else on the show, putting over the debuting Crow something huge as well which i always wanted to do with new guys. Out of my many blown opportunities to be something in the SWF, this also stands out as probably the biggest, after this match and then beating Danny Williams for the ICTV on the next show (he no-showed to job the belt, but we can overlook that) i was the highest i've ever been here, but as is my style i made a royal mess of things and within a month had no-showed my way back out of the SWF again.

I wrote the opening portion to the match, but what i did do was just awful, so not only did you beat Thoth and Spider Nekura, but you did it with the the handicap of a useless parter as well.

Detroit start their title defence in impressive style, beating Philadelphia by 21. While there's little doubt on who will advance between the two i expected the 76'ers to be a little more competitive than that.

If his last two games are any indication it certainly looks like Mulder's gotten over whatever caused him to completely fall apart over the second half of last season.

Mark Teixeira is starting to heat up, his second two-run homer of the game for a 10-1 run lead. As one sided as the score is it should really be even worse for the Yankees, Texas leaving a ton on base, notably Hank Blalock with 8 so far.

I was robbed.

My pitching staff is going to drive me nuts by the end of the season, everyone keeps bouncing from shit to outstanding and back to shit again. Weaver goes back and forth between shutouts and getting nuked for 8 runs in 2 innings, Vasquez stinks until i bench him where he proceeds to throw 7 scoreless innings, Ryan Drese is winning but looking extremely shaky in the process, El Duque had two good games with a shit one in between, Pedro Astacio & Mark Redman have been strong but neither inspire me with confidence to keep that going all season, i expected my pitching to be suspect but with my offence looking neutered to start the season it's all the more apparant.

Predictions of very little thought: Heat over Nets 4-1 Pistons over 76ers 4-1 Pacers over Celtics 4-2 Wizards over Bulls 4-3 Suns over Grizzlies 4-2 Spurs over Nuggets 4-2 Sonics over Kings 4-1, 4-2 if Brad Miller can play Mavericks over Rockets 4-3

Stupid players going on the DL just after the weekly rosters lock in place. Kris Benson did it to start the season, now Bengie Molina does it leaving me a player down for the week. Not that there's much in terms of free agent catchers laying around, but still.

The Reds still have Ryan Wagner waiting in the wings to eventually supplant Graves as closer don't they? I remember alot of talk about him taking over as closer before last season, until Wagner got shelled early and Graves started racking up saves left and right in spite of himself. I haven't heard a word about Wagner since, but he can't be much worse than Danny's 'give up a run, two hits and a walk but somehow still escape with the save' act.

Pedro Astacio continues to perform great for the Rangers, pitching 8 scoreless innings vs Oakland. He's put up an ERA of 1.64 and a WHIP of 0.91 after 3 games, he'd be 3-0 if it wasn't for his bullpen sucking and running into a Roy Halladay complete game.

Darius Miles puts up a career high 47 points on 57% shooting in a loss to the Nuggets, a shame he couldn't do something like that back when the games actually mattered.

SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP Toxxic (SWF World Heavyweight Champion) v. "The Franchise" Mak Francis -> Stryke SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP Johnny Dangerous (SWF International Champion) v. Landon Maddix -> Stryke MYSTERY MATCH ??? v. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins -> Stryke SWF WORLD CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP LADDER MATCH Wildchild (SWF World Cruiserweight Champion) v. "The Critic" Scott Pretzler -> Stryke SINGLES MATCH Lil' Buck v. Lord David -> Stryke SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP JJ Johnson v. Insane Luchadore -> Stryke RANKINGS MATCH "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez v. Ejiro Fasaki -> Stryke SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP #1 CONTENDERSHIP Jay Hawke v. Manson -> MANSONOSITY BAR ROOM BRAWL Arch Griffon v. Mohammed Koran -> Stryke

Are you sure this is the worst win-loss record of all time? Upon checking it isn't, the Lakers 34 wins this year beats out their 33 wins from 1994 and 30 from 1975, they also have 19 and 25 win seasons if you want to go back as far as the Minneapolis Lakers. EDIT: Beaten to it by Kurt Angle Mark

Clearly the best solution is to just give me the #1 Contendership. Toxxic vs Stryke, resulting in the SWF's lowest ratings ever.

I was always a bigger fan of Doggystyle out of the two, though i haven't listened to either, particularly The Chronic, in far too long. Either way both are right at the top of my favorite albums of any genre, this threads as good a reason as any for me to finally get around to listening to them again.

My team performs to expectations this week, winning every offensive category by a comfortable margin, and that's with guys like Beltre, Rolen and Teixeira yet to really get going. If they get hot and i can get at least one or two stats from my cruddy pitching staff every week things should be looking OK. Hopefully Pedro Astacio can keep performing well and make up for Javier Vasquez bombing badly, though giving me damn near anything will be better than what Home Run Javy's done for me.

One particular result that caught my attention: I have little desire to see Bull Buchanon and Chuck Palumbo face each other for more than 5 minutes, let alone THIRTY. I can't imagine it being anything other than a trainwreck, yet i'm morbidly curious to see just how they could possibly pull it off.

I too avoid using public toilets unless it's absolutely necessary, it's probably more sanitary to just shit in your pants than using some public restrooms.

Anyone want 'sack of crap' Javier Vasquez? Three shitty performances is enough for me, someone else can deal with him.

Pretty much every joint cracks for me, fingers, toes, neck, spine, ankles, knees, elbows, wrists, i'll be a walking advertisment for arthritis in the future. My shoulders and hips are about the only places on my body that don't crack regularly.