Ted the Poster

What, you've never seen the infamous Viking Kittens??? What rock were you under? Viking Kittens! ENJOY! That was... odd. Cool, but still very odd.

I can't remember; what did he do?

Ah dammit, I HHHate contract segments.

and... cue Jericho.

Damn I'm glad I don't drink. Although, while looking at those pictures this popped into my head: "Extreme Fireball fever: Catch it!"

Ouch. Seeing that with my contacts in was bad enough. Looking without them is even worse. It must be the Kerataconus. Oh well, that was still pretty amusing anyway.

Here is a video of an exploding whale. Some have probably seen it before.

A few months ago I stuck a toothpick in some dog crap and went across the street to my asshole neighbor's car and smeared it in his car's keyhole. It had no driver's side window due to an "accident' with a rock, and he was too cheap and lazy to get it fixed. From there I went to his front door and ran the toothpick through that keyhole. I did this every day for almost two weeks. Stupid bastard never did figure out why his keys, and consequently his hands, kept smelling like shit.

How can he try to do something that Chave has already accomplished? herpes is the name of Munky's blow up doll made out of beef jerky.. he's just weird like that. Any man that can shape beef jerky into a sex doll and then inflate it gets my respect. I also have an odd sense of respect for a man who can jerk into jerky.

Are you suggesting that a six year old girl can be as strong as a twelve year old boy? Idiot.

Now I won't sleep tonight. "C'mere boy, I'll show ya what it means to be stiff." Seriously though, who ever heard of a clothesline causing a stinger? I'm inclined to think Morgan took the bump wrong and that was combined with a stiff Holly clothesline.

Goddamn right. That performance was brilliant. He and William H. Macy both should've been nominated. Macy never gets recognition from the academy. That said, I hope Bill Murray, Ken Watanbe(who is the coolest fucking samurai EVER), and Charlize Theron win. I don't give a shit about Supporting Actress personally.

Coolest. Transformer. Ever. HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hey, I am NOT a snackist. I have always been in favor of affermative snacktion. *rimshot*

...and guys like Colin Powell should be Oreos. and just like the man in your Sig you went and sucked the life out of this thread...see? Everybody's leaving now Oh shit, did I really? I'll try to resuccitate, Dr. Soul. Ok, uh... snack foods representing races/religions... White= Cracker Black= E. L. Fudge Asian= Oodles of Noodles Latino= Male/Doritos, Female/Fritos Jews= Vlassic Pickles Catholics= Bot Scout Cookies It's no use; he's too far gone. The family wants us to pull the plug. BEEP... BEEP... BEEEEEEEEEEEP *note to mods: this is meant to make fun of stereotypes; not to encourage them*

...and guys like Colin Powell should be Oreos.

My monitor says it's in "power save mode" and the diagnostic lights on my PC recently went to yellow-yellow-green-green. I was told this means there is something wrong with my memory modules, and to re-seed them. Well I did that and nothing changed. What else could be wrong? I've already checked the video card, and the only other thing I can think of is that the motherboard died.

*screams with glee like a little girl*

That was awesome Rando. If this show was animated, who should animate it? Seth MacFarlane? Matt Groening? Butch Hartman? I know that I'm too insignificant a poster to be in the show, but I am handy with a pencil, and could draw up some character sketches so that we all have an idea of what the show would look like. Hell, pick your own animation style for your character. If I know the style, I'll draw you! This could take some time though; possibly 2-3 days per person. I'd need a brief physical description from most people. Or if this just seems like a retarded idea, fuck it!

Most of my favorites have been said already, but what the hell. The Princess Bride "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Oh, and the whole "your ears you keep" speech. Awesome. Monty Python and the Holy Grail "Well let me go back and face the peril." "No, it's too perilous." Family Guy "You know what I got for Christmas? It was a banner freakin' year at the Tiger house. I got a pack of cigarettes. My dad said smoke 'em up Tony; they're grrrreat!" Quagmire: "Hey, maybe we should set Peter up with another lemon snowcone." Peter: "No thanks. That last one you gave me didn't even taste like lemon. It tasted like... oh, you guys are asses." Caddyshack "Na na na na na na na na..." Sometimes I just say that while standing in line for something. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back "Snootch to tha nooootch!" But the movie I quote the most from has to be Coming to America. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, who's next?" "The royal penis is clean your highness." Damn, that is one of the funniest movies ever.

I was hyped for this one because of Aniston's first show but damn it; that barely rose above sucking. I was praying for something great to save the show, but of course nothing did. Speaking of great, I think they should bring back the Bill Brasky sketches. I can totally see Forte, Armisen, Richards, and maybe even Amy Poehler doing them. Those were fucking awesome, IMO, and could be done with or without Will Ferrell, even though I'm a big Ferrell mark.

Well, you'll need to put another fan on it, otherwise it will overheat. Whoops, I meant the plastic fan cover. Sorry for the confusion.

My computer keeps making this weird noise that sounds like a tiny dog is growling at me. At first I thought it was dust inside, so I got cleaning stuff but it didn't help. Does anybody know what this noise is or how I can fix it?

I found the problem. After prying off the fan cover with a screwdriver, I found the fan to be working fine. Looking closer, however, I saw that my processor with COVERED with dust. I mean I could barely see the damn thing. Then I realized why. On a Dell Dimension 8100(anybody else have this POS computer?) the fan cover, which incidentally you need three hands to remove unless you use a prying tool, is shaped so that when it collects dust the fan blows it RIGHT ONTO THE PROCESSOR. Needless to say, I took that out permanently.

That's easy. Just beat up the cable guy. "We're not bad people; we just don't want to pay $10 a month for Cinemax."