SamoaRowe

One time my friend and I were heading to a movie. I was going over the speed limit by 5-10 mph and this guy behind me was tail-gating me. Keep in mind this is a long and windy NH road and there is no passing. He finally passes me, and I suddenly get irritated. I honk my horn for a good 30 or 40 seconds and I begin to tailgate him. We catch up to traffic and have no choice but to do the speed limit so it becomes even easier to be right on his ass. That is probably one of the few times I've ever participated in road rage purposely.

I don't so much mind emo music, but I tend to find emo fans to be very annoying (or at least the ones who went to my high school).

I didn't watch it, but if Ernie gives his stamp of approval, then it must suck. Riiiight. Out of curiosity, what else do I like that sucks so much?

So far 2005 is just very tedious. 2004 was an awesome year for me, so hopefully 2005 will be the encore.

I LOVE the captions.

I'm taking my girlfriend out for dinner and then she's going to a get together with her old friends from high school and I'm going to my friend's party.

LoL. That worked out well.

This is not going to end well. I give it a month before we hear a report of an injury because Job Holly wanted to teach someone a lesson. Sweet, I'm going to a Smackdown house show on Monday and I think I'd like to see this

I've been reading your shows. I've been meaning to read Dean's Raw shows. And I'd like you to continue.

Smackdown! December 6, 2006 The show opens in a hospital room. Erik Watts is out cold in a bed, with Johnny Stamboli sitting beside him. Stamboli’s head is all bandaged up after being thrown through a popcorn machine last week. Stamboli is calmly reading this month’s issue of WWF Magazine (with Randy Orton and John Jeter on the cover) when suddenly Sean O’Haire busts into the room. O’Haire catches Stamboli off-guard and destroys him with a crutch. With Stamboli down, O’Haire gets into the unconscious face of Erik Watts. O’Haire: I stole your bitch from you and made him mine. If I could offer you any advice, Erik, do not come back to Smackdown. You would not survive. The pyro goes off, the fans cheer, and Michael Cole is overjoyed that Smackdown is underway! Cole and Tazz take a moment to send their sympathies out to the families of Johnny Stamboli and Erik Watts and wish them a speedy recovery. They also mention that tonight Smackdown General Manager Mike Sanders will make a big announcement tonight as well as a match pitting WWF Champion Rhyno and the #1 Contender Rodney Mack against none other than Doug and Danny Basham! Acid’s Cult The ominous music of Acid’s Cult blasts across the arena, and out come Trent Acid, JC Ice, and Scoot Andrews. The crowd gives them some tremendous heat as Acid goes for a microphone. Acid: Mike Sanders has forbid us from recruiting any more Smackdown superstars for our cause. This initially angered our master, but in the light of recent events, this has been revealed as a blessing. I could not ask for a better cult. JC Ice is the best cruiserweight on Smackdown and will be the next Cruiserweight Champion! Scoot Andrews is the single most talented technical wrestler I have ever met! And Sean O’Haire is the most brutal, relentless, monster of a man I have even crossed paths with! My Cult is unstoppable! Stamboli and Watts are never going to come back to Smackdown as long as we are here and we shall never vanish! Jamie Noble’s theme plays and out comes the Cruiserweight Champion, along with Frankie Kazarian and Ultimo Dragon. Noble: What did I just here ya say, boy? Did you just say your little varmit, JC Ice, was going to be the next Cruiserweight Champion? Over my dead carcass, he is! Did ya also say Scoot Andrews was the best technical wrestler here on Smackdown? Nah, my boy Ultimo Dragon is! And anything you just said about O’Haire does not mean squat since he isn’t standing in that ring! Acid: Why don’t you get down here right now and back that up! Noble, Kazarian, and Dragon rush the ring and we have a match set up for after the commercial break! Trent Acid, JC Ice, and Scoot Andrews vs Ultimo Dragon, Jamie Noble, and Frankie Kazarian Match Background: Jamie Noble is the reigning WWF Cruiserweight champion, and has been since 28 September 2006. Noble and JC Ice are on a collision course for a Cruiserweight title match! The Match: The match started during the commercial break, but as we come back we see Ultimo Dragon locking Trent Acid into the dragon sleeper! Cole and Tazz catch us up to speed, as apparently the entire break was Noble’s team dominating Acid’s Cult! Out of patience, Scoot Andrews breaks up Ultimo Dragon’s submission and piledrives him to the mat. Acid goes for a cover, but Dragon gets a shoulder up. Acid tags in JC Ice, who goes to work on the right arm of Ultimo Dragon. As Ice twists his arm back, Dragon reaches with his other for a tag. Kazarian holds onto Noble’s ankles as Noble leans all the way into the ring for the tag. The referee lets it go! Noble begins to clean house on JC Ice with a series of clothes lines! Ice is in a daze so Noble lifts him up on his shoulders and spins him around, finally throwing him up and moving out of the way! Noble goes for a cover, but Ice kicks out at 2! Noble locks on the trailer-hitch, and Ice is about to tap out when Trent Acid enters the ring and distracts the referee! Michael Cole has a temper tantrum about how Noble’s team cannot use any submission holds against the Cult because it keeps being interrupted! Noble tries to get the attention of the referee, but Ice low-blows him and rolls him up. The ref turns around and 1….2….NO! Ice could not cheat to put Noble away! Noble tags in Frankie Kazarian, but Ice escapes and tags in Scoot Andrews. The two dive at each other and both get knocked down! Kazarian gets up first and powerbombs Andrews. Kazarian goes for a cover and only gets a 2 count! Andrews pulls out a hurrancanra out of nowhere and snaps Kazarian down for a cover. 1…..2…..3! That finish came right out of left field! My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4. The Cult are celebrating their victory, but Ultimo Dragon and Jamie Noble are still relatively fresh. They jump Andrews and Ice and lay them out. Acid charges both of them, but Dragon and Noble floor him. Noble locks the trailer-hitch onto Acid, as Dragon gets on him and puts on a dragon sleeper! Cole and Tazz are amazed as they’ve never seen such a combination of submission holds. Acid screams in agony as referees swarm the ring to break up the attack. The Cult won this battle, but they did not win the war. Cole and Tazz discuss possible revenge tactics the Acid Cult may dish out later on. Winners at 8:11: Trent Acid, JC Ice, and Scoot Andrews Angle Speaks The music of Kurt Angle plays and out comes the Olympic Hero. Tazz and Cole speculate over how we have not heard Angle speak much since his return last month. Angle gets a mic. Angle: Two years was a long time for me to be away, but since returning to Smackdown I feel as if I never left! The World Wrestling Federation is where I belong and I have not been this happy in years. Unfortunately, while some things stayed the same, that was not a good thing in all cases. Shelton Benjamin is still a sniveling punk, Charlie Haas is still a spineless follower, and I cannot stand the sight of either one of them! That is okay though, as the original Team Angle was no good, I have gone and found suitable replacements. I would like these two men to join me out here right now, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the NEW Team Angle: Jimmy Rave and Nova! Rave and Nova come out to a good pop, they are now wearing wrestling tights that resemble Angle’s. They stop at the stage and point up and Angle’s pyro goes off. It is a pretty neat sight considering the superstars Rave and Nova have been. Angle: You two are everything that I wanted Haas and Benjamin to be. You are loyal, you are trustworthy, and you have already displayed your ability to be selfless. You are (Shelton Benjamin’s music plays, and he appears on the stage with Charlie Haas). Benjamin: Angle! This is the worst insult yet! How dare you suggest those two inbreds in the ring standing beside you are actually better than Charlie and myself! I am a former WWF Champion and Charlie and I are FIVE TIME WWF Tag Team Champions! What did Jimmy Rave and Nova ever do? They had an epic one week reign as Tag Champions and that is it! To call those two our superiors is nothing short of a sick joke! (Suddenly, Mike Sanders shows up on the titantron). Sanders: Everyone shut up and listen to me. I am the general manager of Smackdown and I am sick of everyone here acting like they can run the show without my blessing. I did not approve of any interview time for any of you! I want some wrestling on my show, dammit! Jimmy Rave and Nova, you two are going to face Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas right now! Beat the hell out of each other and just end your stupid debate once and for all! Jimmy Rave and Nova (with Kurt Angle) vs Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin Match Background: Haas and Benjamin are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. These two teams have collided several times in the past couple of weeks, first at the Survivor Series in the ten-man tag and last week in a six man tag also featuring Kurt Angle and AJ Styles. The Match: Jimmy Rave hits a rolling kick on Haas. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Rave crushes Haas with a huge legdrop. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Jimmy Rave and Nova. Jimmy Rave and Nova whip Haas into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Nova hits a dropkick on Charlie Haas and gets right back up. Covers for a quick two count. Haas walks into a high dropkick from Nova, almost losing several teeth in the process. Haas counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Tor-NADO DDT from Charlie Haas, Nova got planted! Haas tags out to Shelton Benjamin. Vertical suplex by Shelton Benjamin. Michael Cole takes a moment to inform us that the action will continue after a commercial break. When we return, Nova and Shelton Benjamin are having a test of strength. Gutwrench into a stomach breaker. Nova may be winded. Shelton walks into a drop toe hold. Tag between Nova and Jimmy Rave. Super kick by Jimmy Rave. Power drive elbow by Jimmy Rave. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! STIFF high kick on Shelton by Jimmy Rave. Shelton Benjamin is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Doctor Bomb and Rave is hurt. Shelton goes for a cover, but only gets a 2. Rave begins to pick up some momentum, as Haas tries to interfere. The referee tries to keep Haas from entering the ring and AJ Styles comes running down the ramp with a chair. He enters the ring and swings at Rave, but misses and hits Shelton Benjamin. Angle enters the ring to get rid of Styles, so Styles just flees. The referee turns around and sees Angle standing there next to a steel chair and a flattened Shelton Benjamin. The ref calls for the bell, disqualifying Rave and Nova! My Opinion: Great match. Most people would give it ****3/4 or more, but I guess I'm a harsh grader. ****1\2 for you. Cole: What the hell! AJ Styles just cost Rave and Nova the match! Tazz: Nonsense, Cole. Haas and Benjamin had everything in control, they would’ve won anyways. Haas and Benjamin roll out of the ring and have the nerve to celebrate their “victory.” Team Angle remains in the ring, shaking their heads. Winners by DQ at 23:18: Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas The Overstressed GM Rhyno and Rodney Mack are in their dressing room, preparing for their match against the Basham Brothers. Mike Sanders is going through his paper work. Sanders: Okay, gentlemen. I know next week you two will be facing each other for the WWF Championship, but I just want to remind you two that it is going to be a friendly and competitive match to thank Rodney for his months of service. You two are still a team and tonight I want you two to destroy the Basham Brothers! Rhyno: It will be a PLEASURE to GORE the HELL out of those two WIMPS! And next week, it will be a REAL pleasure to GORE a REAL man! Rodney: So that’s how it goes? You two both think it is a foregone conclusion that I am going to lose the match next week? Perhaps it will be time to rename our group to the Sanders Administration of Rodney’s Success! The two men get into each other’s face, Mike Sanders jumps in between them. Sanders: Hold on, now! Rhyno, you are the greatest WWF Champion in history, so relax! And Rodney, if you should win the championship next week I know you will do the right thing. Everything will be fine! Now settle down! Rhyno: You are damn right, Mike. I AM the greatest WWF Champion EVER! Rodney: ….. so, Mike. What is your big announcement tonight? Sanders: I don’t think I need to tell either of you. I’ll give you a hint though. It has to do with the WWF Championship match at the Royal Rumble next month. Rhyno: WHAT!?!? YOU ARE PREPARING FOR THAT MATCH WITHOUT EVEN CONSULTING WITH ME FIRST?!? Sanders: That’s right. We are not going to be handpicking a challenger for next month. Rhyno: WHAT?!?! Sanders: Just wait. You might end up liking my idea in the long run. Rhyno: I had BETTER! United States Championship: Paul London © vs Simon Diamond (with Rob Conway) Match Background: This match is for the WWF United States title. Paul London has been WWF United States champion since 16 November 2006. London and his partner, Chad Collyer, have recently been feuding with Ken Shamrock and Simon Diamond, who are the WWF Tag Team Champions. At Survivor Series the champs debuted their new back up plan, Rob Conway, who has been presenting himself as a Simon Diamond wannabe. The Match: This turns out to be a highly competitive match. Diamond walks into a high dropkick from Paul London, almost losing several teeth in the process. Paul London connects with a back heel kick on Diamond and gets back up quickly. Diamond takes a flying neckbreaker from Paul London. Flying elbow from Paul London connects. Paul London misses a clothesline. Simon Diamond snap suplexes London HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Diamond is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Massive back suplex! Paul London got snapped in half, but not literally because that would just end the match now wouldn't it. Covers for a quick two count. Simon Diamond misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. London crushes Diamond with a huge legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Diamond Dust from Paul London and Diamond is out! Pin, but Diamond is out just before the three count. Diamond backdrops Paul London out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Simon Diamond. Simon Diamond connects with a HARD right hand, sending the opponent down to the mat again. London counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! London hits a dropkick on Simon Diamond and gets right back up. Paul London has Simon Diamond down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Through the air, London Calling! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Consider yourself lucky, a ***1\4 is hard to get. Rob Conway storms the ring, but London rolls out. He holds his title up high as Conway and Diamond look on in disgust. Winner at 7:45 and STILL United States Champion: Paul London Rhyno and Rodney Mack vs Doug and Danny Basham Match Background: Basham Brothers are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Rhyno is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 16 July 2006. Rhyno will be defending his WWF Championship against Rodney Mack on Smackdown! next week. These two teams collided a couple of months ago while heading into No Mercy and the Bashams were brutalized. The Match: Doug Basham and Rhyno start the match off. Doug taunts Rhyno, which inspires Rhyno to start off with some stiff right hands. Doug blocks them and goes for a side-headlock and tries to take down the Champion. Rhyno whips Doug into the corner and Doug hits with a thud. Rhyno wraps his arms around Doug from behind and tries to suplex him, but Doug hangs on to the turnbuckle. Rhyno instead nails Doug with some shoulder thrusts into the kidney area. Rhyno lets Doug fall to the ground and Rhyno goes to work on Doug’s left leg. Michael Cole points out that Rhyno can wrestle a good technical match and held his own against Chad Collyer when it came time to wrestle. Rhyno makes a tag to Rodney Mack. Rodney immediately locks on the “black-out” onto Doug Basham and this inspires Danny to enter the ring and break it up. Rodney lifts Doug to his feet, but Doug comes back to life with a series of stiff shots to the head of Rodney Mack. With Mack in a daze, Doug whips off the ropes and clotheslines him to the mat. Doug locks on a headlock and Rodney tries to make it to the ropes. After about a minute of trying, Mack’s fingers just barely skims the ropes, but cause the rope to fling. The referee calls for Doug Basham to break the hold and he does. Doug tags in Danny Basham. Danny starts kicking the life out of Rodney Mack as Tazz informs us that we’re going for a commercial break. After the break, Rhyno is back in the ring and he has a rear-naked choke on Danny Basham. Doug is clapping and getting the crowd to do so with him. Danny fights out of the hold and DDT’s Rhyno straight to the mat. Danny goes for a cover and 1….2…. NO! Rodney Mack enters the ring and the evil duo double suplex Danny Basham. Rodney leaves, and this time Doug Basham enters the ring. The two unleash a double DDT onto Rhyno and Danny goes for a cover again! 1….2……….NOO! That was so close, the crowd actually thought that Danny Basham had pinned the WWF Champion! The crowd is not pleased and begin to chant “Bullshit” which does not go over so well with the censor board. Rhyno barely manages to tag in Rodney Mack, but Rhyno is so out of it that he simply falls to the floor. Rodney Mack becomes the victim of not one, but TWO double DDT attacks by the Basham Brothers. Doug rolls out of the ring, and the referee counts the 1….2…..3! Danny Basham has pinned Rodney Mack! My Opinion: This was such a good match, it caused star ratings to magically appear... ****1\4 Cole: The Basham Brothers pick up a huge upset win over Rhyno and Rodney Mack! Tazz: It looks like Rhyno is just realizing what has happened! Rodney is standing in the ring, looking really upset with himself. Rhyno rolls in and looks mad. Rodney tries explaining to Rhyno what happened when suddenly the look on Rodney’s face changes. He slaps the taste out of Rhyno! Tazz: I think Rodney Mack is holding Rhyno responsible for the loss! Rhyno looks puzzled, but that changes when he hits a sudden GORE on Rodney Mack! The crowd actually pops for the gore, as Rhyno stands over Rodney Mack, shoving the WWF Championship in his face! Cole: Oh my God! What the hell is going to happen next week? Winners at 14:11: Doug and Danny Basham The GM’s Big Announcement. Mike Sanders makes his way to the ring. He promptly takes a microphone. Sanders: Before I get to my big announcement, I just have a few other things to say. First off, I’m very disappointed in what just went down between my two associates, Rhyno and Rodney Mack. I’m telling them both right now that if they do not compete in a civilized wrestling match next week, I will make them both sorry! Furthermore, next week I have signed two more matches! Jamie Noble will defend his Cruiserweight Championship against JC Ice and Paul London will face Rob Conway in a non-title bout! Now onto my big (the music of AJ Styles plays, and Styles joins Sanders in the ring). Styles: You are going to announce the #1 Contender for the WWF Championship at the Royal Rumble, aren’t you? I heard about what you said to your associates earlier! I just came out here to make sure that you are not seriously considering giving that shot to anyone but me? You have to remember that I was the champion for an entire year and that I have NOT GOTTEN MY REMATCH since losing it MONTHS AND MONTHS ago at Wrestlemania! I think I demand more respect than that! (The music of Orlando Jordan plays, and he joins them in the ring). Jordan: Hold your horses, cracker! It’s great and all that you held the title for so long, but are you forgetting why you did not get any rematches after Wrestlemania? It was because you pissed off the wrong person and that person was me! You spent months getting your ass kicked left and right by me! Now you want another title shot? I think it is high time that I get my turn! It should be my time to run with the ball, only I will not blow it the way you have! (Low Ki’s music plays and Low Ki joins us in the ring). Low Ki: I’m so sorry to interrupt! Orlando Jordan, you have no honor! You could hardly get by Kid Kash last week! You are weak and pathetic and have no chance! You say you have never gotten your shot at the WWF Championship? Well, neither has Low Ki! (The music of Chad Collyer plays and he joins the gang in the ring). Collyer: You all have your points, but the fact of the matter is that I have unfinished business with Rhyno. I have to admit that I despise that human being. He robbed me of my Championship and he has yet to beat me since. He did not beat me at No Mercy, for I never said “I quit!” I need some closure in my struggles, I need to take down Rhyno, leave him staring at the ceiling, and let him lay there in a daze as he hears me announced as the new WWF Champion! I have to do this, and it is not fair that you have forbid me from competing for the belt anymore! To get ready, Paul London and I will become the next Tag Team Champions, but I will remind you of this, Sanders. If you do not let me fight Rhyno for the title at Royal Rumble, then I will have to enter the Rumble itself and beat 30 other men. If I don’t meet Rhyno in January, you can bet your ass that it will be me humiliating him at Wrestlemania! Sanders: If you would all shut up for five minutes, I would tell you who will be getting the chance to compete for the WWF Championship at the Royal Rumble! It will be…. AJ Styles! (Styles is overjoyed). And Orlando Jordan! (Jordan smirks and Styles gets right into his face). And Low Ki! And Chad Collyer! (The superstars in the ring look confused now). And Paul London! And the Blue Meanie! And Alex Arion, Ken Shamrock, Simon Diamond, Sonjay Dutt, Kid Kash, Sean O’Haire, Jimmy Rave, Nova, and everyone in the Smackdown locker room! You see, I will not be naming any #1 Contender this month, as it will be earned for once! Every Smackdown competitor, except the two men fighting for the title next week, will participate in a tag team tournament! The teams will be named by myself and I will present the brackets next week! The winning team will then face each other in a singles match! The winner of that match will face the WWF Champion for the title at the Royal Rumble! (Collyer and Jordan look intrigued by this, but Styles looks pissed as hell since for a few seconds earlier he had thought he would be given the shot right away). The show ends with Styles and Low Ki having a temper tantrum while Jordan and Collyer laugh at them.

That's cool. It was actually my intention after Survivor Series to just do simple match overviews, but I would always get carried away and find myself writing out full, detailed matches anyways. I really can't help it.

It's ok. No one likes Billy Gunn. Billy Gunn doesn't like Billy Gunn. Billy Gunn's mom puts a paper bag over his head every time she kisses him.

Um...that's not copy and paste. That's written out. The matches are copy & paste. If you read my Survivor Series and most of the shows after that event, I started writing out the matches myself. The reason I copy and paste matches from EWR are for a few big reasons: 1) I'm a college student with two jobs. To keep updates coming I would just copy and paste matches so I could focus on the interviews and such. 2) Most people just skim over written out matches anyways (I know I do when I read other journals). This way I still have a match there if anyone cares but otherwise it is a quick fix. So I understand if you don't like the copy and paste matches, but the life of my diary has been backstage segments and interviews. If you want written out matches, read Survivor Series (a few matches are still copy and pasted, but most of it is written out) and then read the few shows after it. If you still hate my diary, fine. Others have enjoyed it and that is all that matters to me.

Both Amy and Dawn have been nude in a movie before. And well...Christy was a juggy. :/ What movie was this?

The link isn't working for me But I thought they were all gay?

On what grounds? Seriously, why can't people just offer constructive criticism.

I find Amy Weber to be strangely attractive... I'll just download the pics or something.

In that case I raise my rating to *3/4

I don't blame RVD either, but I do commend the others who did go.

X-Men Legends is 29.99 at Best Buy this week. I'm getting it for Christmas.

LoL. We'll see about that one, right now I'm planning to write a review for No Mercy 04 after Xmas.

Yes, my friends. I have purchased the Great American Bash 2004. Was it a worthwhile purchase, considering much of the IWC considers this show to be the all-time worst pay-per-view in WWE history? Actually, I've seen worse PPVs, and this one was a breath of fresh air from the two awfully dull Raw pay-per-views Bad Blood and Vengeance. There are good parts of the GAB, but what's bad is very bad. United States Championship: John Cena © vs Booker T vs Rene Dupree vs Rob Van Dam This match was actually quite well done, though there are a few annoying parts. Cole and Tazz make a case to point out that Booker T takes the time to just stand outside the ring and watch the others fighting, but when Rob Van Dam does the same thing, it's not really a big deal. Likewise, Rob Van Dam eliminates himself from a match yet again, after delivering frog splashes onto both Dupree and Booker T, John Cena gets the cheap cover on RVD. Not a very good way to keep Cena over as a face in front of the live crowd, eh? After that, Booker T gets to pin Dupree, and then Cena and Booker T get a good little show-down to foreshadow the upcoming best of five series. Eventually, Cena wins, and the live crowd is still happy. Match rating: *** Nothing too special, but very entertaining match. Cena retaining was a good idea, kept the crowd happy. With what was to follow, they NEEDED to have something to be happy about. Next, we see Charlie Haas and Ms. Jackie hanging out in the backstage area, and Haas is all dressed up to wrestle... even though he wasn't previously announced on the card. It's little things like this that I wish WWE would pick up on. Either way, Luther Reigns and Mr. Angle stop by and harass young Haas, and Angle is quite critical of how far down Haas has gone since being a part of Team Angle. Ooh, consistent storytelling, this I like. Angle then books Haas against his new protege, Luther Reigns, and the crowd goes mild. Next, Sable interviews herself, in a segment that was designed to torture me. Charlie Haas vs Luther Reigns Mr. Angle slaps Luther before the match, to which Luther responds by smiling. The smile is soon gone and Luther is all business. Good intensity from Haas starts up the match, as he corners Luther. This does not last long, as Luther eventually gets the upper-hand and attempts to dominate. The two men have clashing styles, but manage to make a decent story out of it as Haas tries to wrestle but Luther tries to brawl. The crowd comes close to turning on the match (I think I heard a few fans scream "boring" but no chants) and Mr. Angle is at ringside giving Luther commands. In the end, Luther does his own version of a power bomb and Haas is done. Match Rating: **. Not as bad as others have made this out to be, I prefer this over the Jericho/Batista match at Vengeance where Batista made me hate the surf-board stretch. This match also told a better story and did a good job of making Luther look good without killing the wrestling credibility of Charlie Haas. Next, we get an angry JBL promo. He's upset over the out-come of Judgment Day, and this time he's promising victory and a WWE title win in his Texas Bull-rope match against the champion, Eddie Guerrero. Not a bad promo, but not as good as his post-title win promos. Cruiserweight Championship: Rey Mysterio © vs Chavo Guerrero After Jacquelyn and Chavo Classic enjoyed reigns as Cruiserweight Champion, this match was a welcome return to the norm. Mysterio and Chavo put on a good clinic of how to build up a match here, as they started things off slow and continued to build to a good finish. Not too long into the match, Rey is thrown outside the ring and buckles his knee. From here, Mysterio does a good job of selling the knee injury, yet being able to perform his high spots in a way that suggests he can only still pull off these moves out of sheer will since he's hurt. Rey manages to kick out of an excellent Gory bomb at one point, that I would have bought as a finish except for Michael Cole proclaiming that the match would be over. Once Cole does this, you know it's not. In the end, Rey gets the win, the crowd is happy once again, and some credibility has been restored to the Cruiserweight title. Match Rating: ***3/4. Not quite a four star affair, but a very very good match-up. Their No Way Out match had more heat, but this was technically a better worked match, as Mysterio looked good in victory and Chavo didn't look weak in defeat. We go back to the hot tub, as now Torrie Wilson is sharing it with Funaki, Spike, and Billy Kidman. The best part is when Torrie stands up, all three gawk at her in her bikini, including Kidman, who is actually married to her and presumably gets to sleep with her on a regular basis. Funaki states "God Bless America" which is funny, but then later becomes a catch-phrase of Kenzo Suzuki. Speaking of which... Kenzo Suzuki (with Hiroko) vs Billy Gunn The best part of this match is Michael Cole getting pissed at Tazz for constantly mispronouncing "Hiroko." Kenzo enters the arena to no heat whatsoever, while Gunn gets the "Hey, we know who you are!" pop. The match is absolutely awful, as it is stretched out to seven or eight minutes or so (their two minute Smackdown match was much more enjoyable). Gunn goes for an awful looking fame-ass-er, but Suzuki comes back and gets the victory (with little to no help from Hiroko, who had played a big role in the first Gunn/Suzuki match by throwing white powder into Gunn's face). To Suzuki's credit, he does manage to pick up some heat during the match, but this was still seven or eight minutes of my life that I will never get back. Match Rating: DUD. This match wouldn't even be an acceptable house show match. Next, we see Paul Heyman with a tied up Paul Bearer. It's funny to me that WWE thought that Bearer would be a good sympathy character. Heyman goes on and on about how Undertaker must "do the right thing" in the Concrete Crypt match against the Dudley Boyz, or he will be buried in concrete. He won't reveal what the "right thing" is exactly, but we can only assume it's lay down for the Dudleyz. What bugs me most about this whole angle is that we are supposed to believe that Heyman and the Dudleyz kidnapped Paul Bearer on nation television and have him held prisoner and are going to kill him in front of a live crowd unless the Undertaker loses a match. This is asking a bit too much of the audience if you ask me, we can only stretch our disbelief so far. Sable vs Torrie Wilson This match is not even worth me recapping. Sable used to be a half decent worker, what the hell happened? Torrie Wilson has made no progress on her in-ring work since she came to WWE, so this was the usual awful Torrie match. Match rating: DUD, say no more. Back to the hot tub, Dawn Marie is interviewing Rene Dupree, who is still pissed off about not winning the United States Championship. Dupree does try and hit on Marie, informing her that the French are known to be great lovers, when the FBI shows up. Nunzio points out that he wears a size 15 boot and "you know what they say about people with large feet." It takes Dawn Marie a few seconds to figure it out, but when she does she delightfully accompanies Nunzio off screen. Johnny Stamboli then takes the time to point out how small Dupree's feet are. The FBI crack me up, it just kills me that they are never pushed. Hardcore Holly vs Mordecai Mordecai actually gets a decent little pop from the audience, as you can see people standing up for his entrance. Hardcore Holly's reaction is basically "What the hell, you still work here?" It's kind of funny to me that after this match, WWE deemed Mordecai unworthy of being on the active roster and sent him back to OVW, yet he has a better match with Holly than Suzuki had with Gunn. Suzuki is still on Smackdown, so what the hell? Anyway, this match had a great finish as Mordecai countered an Alabama Slam into his version of The Razor's Edge. 'Nuff said, as Mordecai makes a jobber out of Holly before being demoted. Match rating: 3/4* If only for not being a DUD. WWE Championship: Eddie Guerrero vs John Bradshaw Layfield This is a Texas Bull-rope Match. This means the two superstars must remain attached to the bull-rope and have to touch either corner of the ring consecutively without having their momentum halted by their opponent. This turns out to be a really great match after an awkward beginning, as JBL and Guerrero get more accostomed to having the bullrope around their wrist. Lots of great spots, with Guerrero trying to make it to the fourth corner, but JBL attaching himself to the opposite ropes. JBL attempts to put Guerrero through the Spanish Announce table, but fails. This leads to a brawl that recreates the chair shot from Judgment Day, but this time with JBL on the receiving end. JBL bleeds, though no where close to the gore-fest that was Eddie Guerrero at Judgment Day. JBL eventually does manage to use Eddie's momentum against him and Eddie goes flying on the the Spanish Announce table. With Eddie in a daze, and the table still standing, JBL powerbombs Eddie through the table. This would normally be a good thing, but JBL cannot win the match without Eddie in the ring. Eddie attaches himself to the ring ropes just as JBL did earlier, preventing JBL from winning the match. Eddie manages to mount a come-back, and they find themselves both touching the corner turnbuckles instead of trying to stop each other's momentum. This leads to both of them needing to touch the last one, with Eddie trying to jump over JBL to touch it. It seemingly works and Eddie is crowned the winner to a HUGE pop! This could have been a glorious moment in Eddie's career, until Mr. Angle comes back out and reverses the decision, showing footage of JBL's back hitting the corner before Eddie's hand. The winner is John Bradshaw Layfield, your new WWE Champion. Match Rating: ****. Awesome match, very innovative and both men worked their asses off. Unlike Judgment Day, I didn't feel like this was Eddie carrying Bradshaw, but Bradshaw carrying his own weight as well. I would have given this match a higher rating if it weren't for the severe bad taste left in everyone's mouths by the decision reversal at the very end. JBL as champion just pisses everyone off. Concrete Crypt Match: The Undertaker vs The Dudley Boyz THIS IS A MAIN EVENT?!? Wow, just wow. The match starts off horribly, with Paul Heyman interupting everytime Undertaker is gaining some momentum, threatening to pour more concrete on Paul Bearer (which he does). Finally, Bubba Ray Dudley gets pissed and orders Heyman to cut it out and have some faith in the Dudleyz. Bubba won overness with me for that. After that, the match goes on solid enough, though it's really no better than your typical Smackdown match. 'Taker battles off both Dudley Boyz and gets the pin on D-Von. Heyman gets pissed and goes to pour the rest of the concrete on Bearer, when lightning strikes the concrete truck. So Undertaker has saved Paul Bearer then? Nope, Undertaker inexplicably picks up Heyman's microphone and states "I have no other choice. Paul, rest in piece!" Undertaker then proceeds to pour the concrete on Paul Bearer himself, to which the crowd responds with deafening... silence. So Undertaker turns heel by killing Paul Bearer? This is quite possibly the worst ending to a pay-per-view since Austin dropped that car that supposedly had Triple H in it at Survivor Series 2000. Honestly, I hate this entire storyline, but after this show it was brought up again once on Smackdown. Undertaker found some way to justify his actions and turned face again right away. Match Rating *. Would have been a fine Smackdown match, but had absolutely no place being the main event of a Pay-Per-View. The Concrete Crypt stipulation was terrible and must have looked even worse to the live crowd, who would then see Bearer rescued from the crypt the second the cameras stopped rolling. Final thoughts: The three title matches are all good to excellent, though it was depressing to see Guerrero's title reign come to an end at the hands of JBL. However, everything else on this show is either very mediocre or despicably bad. Gunn vs Suzuki had no business being on a Pay-Per-View, Reigns vs Haas was thrown on at the last moment, and Mordecai vs Holly was added because the two of them got into a random brawl on the previous Smackdown. All in all, this felt like the first ever Velocity Pay-Per-View (and most of the cruiserweights are still left out regardless). This show isn't as bad as Judgment Day 2003, which had even less going for it, but I would say rent this and watch the three title matches and nothing else.

Thanks, man. Hope I can get Vengeance up sooner than later (two more Smackdowns and one more Raw to go).

CM Funk's card and my ratings: WWE World Heavyweight Title Chris Benoit © vs. Batista Rating: ***3/4. Benoit carries Batista to a damn good match. WWE Undisputed Championship John Bradshaw Layfield © vs. The Big Show Rating: *. As much as I like what both guys have become, this has "trainwreck" written all over it. Triple H and Ric Flair vs. The Rock and Mick Foley Rating: ****. The mark-out value alone would be worth it. Hall of Fame Inductees Hulk Hogan, Ted DiBiase, Ricky Steamboat, Road Warriors, Rick Rude, Terry Funk, Jimmy Hart, Yokozuna, Barry Windham. Interpromotional Kurt Angle and Edge vs. Shawn Michaels and Eddie Guerrero Rating: ****1/2. I'm drooling at the thought of this one. Interpromotional Randy Orton vs. John Cena Rating: ***. Another mark-out match. These two were destined to tangle sooner or later. Big Show and Booker T vs. Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak Rating: **. Another Big Show match? Either way, this one could be decent. Interpromotional The Undertaker and Kane w/ Lita vs. Snitsky and Heidenreich w/ Trish Stratus Rating: *3/4. Won't be a good match, but will tell a good story. Interpromotional Ten-Man Tag RVD, Rey Mysterio, Eugene, Shelton Benjamin and Chris Jericho vs. The Dudleys, Simon Dean and Christian. Rating: **1/2. Has the possibility to be a hot opener and a good spot-fest. Would be a pity to see Jericho, Rey, RVD, and Shelton in this slot. My Card: WWE Championship: JBL © vs John Cena World Championship: Edge © vs Randy Orton Kurt Angle vs Shawn Michaels Last Team Standing: Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit vs Triple H and Batista Eddie Guerrero vs Christian WWE Tag Championship: Rey Mysterio and RVD © vs Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak IC Champion vs United States Champion: Shelton Benjamin vs Carlito Caribbean Cool Cruiserweight Championship: Billy Kidman © vs Paul London vs Chavo Guerrero The Undertaker and Kane vs Gene Snitsky and Heidenreich Women's Championship: Lita © vs Molly Holly

LoL. After skimming through that I did not notice many (if any) matches with less than *** ratings. Seeing that the site is a list of WCW matches that Meltzer has given ***+ to, I would say that's a pretty accurate statement. True, there more than i thought.