SamoaRowe

Deaf by 30? Pfffftt. At the rate I'm going, I'm gonna be deaf by 25. I almost said "deaf by 20" but then I remembered that will be in three months. Oh, and standing in front of the speakers for Ra was real smart.

Shit, I voted for the Playboy match... completely forgetting Goldberg vs Lesnar. My bad Or would it be... THEIR bad?

All of the underused former ECW talents and all the other WWE talent who they have neglected to do anything interesting with as of yet.

I bought No Way Out on Sunday before heading over to my friend's for Wrestlemania. So far I haven't gotten too far into it since I've been busy, but I really liked the Heat match (I saw all those guys in Manchester, NH on monday night as well, which added to the novelty). Hell, I think the only guy on the No Way Out card who I didn't see monday night was Brock Lesnar.

I'd like to order a Brock vs Angle matchup review. Even with the botched SSP, it's one of my faves

I'll play this game, why not.

WWF Raw! August 7th, 2006 The pyro for Raw goes off and Al Snow welcomes us to Raw. He announces that Jim Ross is taking some time off from broadcasting to relieve his hefty work-load. Some unfamiliar music plays, and out comes MIKE TENAY! He waves to the crowd and takes his spot right by Al Snow. Snow: What a shocker! Welcome to Raw! Tenay: Thank you, I cannot begin to tell you how good it is to be here tonight. It’s been a very emotional week for my family and me. I just want to thank all the fans and the boys in the back for their support. Snow: It’s great to have you here, Mike. Now on with the show! Shawn Michaels Has Words to Say! HBK makes his way to the ring. He stops to high-five Mike Tenay and he dances his way into the ring. HBK: So far, I must say being the General Manager of Raw has been a blast. By not being an active competitor gives me a great opportunity to interact with the WWF superstars in a such a way that I have really never been able to. They are no longer my opponents, but more so my friends. However, I am still in charge and I still must enforce my rules! For starters, last night on Heat, Justin Credible got himself involved in a match between his tag partner, Lance Storm, and Christian. His interference failed and Storm lost the match, so the consequence for this action will be less severe. Credible will still get his Intercontinental Championship shot tonight… but now Lance Storm will be the special guest referee! For Justin’s sake, let’s all hope that Storm isn’t TOO pissed about the loss. Furthermore, I must add on to my New Rule. I want all the superstars in the back to listen closely to this one, especially Austin Lee. No harm is to come to referees anymore. Period. Any sort of physical violence towards referees from this point on, will result in direct discipline from myself. If a referee is “accidentally” knocked down during a match, I will use my discretion as to whether or not there was any malicious intent behind it. I hope I have made myself clear. Tenay: HBK continues to deliver on his promises to reform Raw! Snow: He sure is, but you can imagine that the young degenerate, Austin Lee, is none too happy about this addition to the New Rule. Women’s Championship: Trish Stratus © vs Taylor Matheny Match Background: This match is for the WWF Womens title. Trish Stratus has been WWF Womens champion since 27 June 2006. Stratus is also scheduled to defend the title against Victoria at Summerslam. The Match: Taylor is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Taylor Matheny is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Big forearm by Taylor Matheny makes me want to go to the mirror and check MY teeth. Taylor Matheny misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! Wicked suplex out of the corner from Taylor Matheny, is executed so well, it hurt MY back. Cover, but there's no one to count for Taylor Matheny! Trish Stratus powers out of a Taylor Matheny headlock. BAAACK Body drop by Taylor gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Big piledriver on Taylor. Hooks the leg for a two count. Spear! Taylor is down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Taylor Matheny pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Trish walks into a jaw breaker. Pin, but Trish is out just before the three count. Trish counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Victoria just slid into the ring out of nowhere! Victoria has a chair, and drops Trish and Taylor with devastating blows, causing the referee to call for the bell. This match has been ruled a no contest! Victoria has a chair. Trish turns and takes a brutal shot to the head. Taylor is next to take a hard shot. Victoria has demolished everyone! My Opinion: *** for a good match, but a little too short. Tenay: Victoria has cost both women of the win, and Matheny of the title! Snow: You can only imagine that Shawn Michaels is not going to be happy about this! Winner: No contest due to outside interference. The Lodi and Ozzy Show Lodi is sitting in the dressing room, reading the newest issue of WWF Magazine (with Chris Benoit on the cover) when Ozzy Benton comes up to him. Ozzy: Hey man… about last week, I’m sorry that I got so made when you came to check on me. Lodi: Oh, honey, don’t worry about it! Ozzy: Dude, don’t call me that! Anyways, it’s just nice to have a tag partner who gives a damn, and I overreacted. Lodi: Oh, sweetie, you know I’ll be here for you no matter what! Ozzy: Don’t call me that! Lodi: But Sweet-cheeks, what am I to call you? Ozzy: Argh! Just call me “Ozzy” like everyone else does! Lodi: But you’re special to me, you… (Ozzy grabs Lodi by the throat). Ozzy: SHUT UP AND LISTEN! I know what you are all about but that’s NOT me! I have some freaking self respect for myself and for my gender! You make me sick and I’m in this partnership only because I want to get somewhere in this company. Cut the crap, now, or I will make you pay. (He let’s go of Lodi). Lodi (genuinely hurt): Okay… Ozzy. Brian Kendrick vs Christian Match Background: Brian Kendrick recently came to Raw. Christian has been feuding with Raven for the past several weeks. The Match: Brian Kendrick just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Christian. Double arm suplex by Christian connects as Kendrick hits hard. BAAACK Body drop by Kendrick gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. BAAACK Body drop by Kendrick gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Brian Kendrick avoids a Christian avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Brian Kendrick hits a rolling kick on Christian. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Lightning kick by Kendrick on Christian. There's a two count on the pin. Christian blocks a punch. Kendrick walks into a jaw breaker. Hooks the leg for a two count. Front legsweep slam aka The Stroke by Christian. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Kendrick powers out of a headlock. Kendrick hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Christian blocks a kick from Brian Kendrick. A Gut buster connects on Kendrick and hits hard. Kendrick scores with a forearm, sending Christian down into the corner. The referee pulls Brian Kendrick away to get the break. Wait! Christian has pulled something out of his tights. Brian Kendrick walks over...and gets floored by a punch! 1....2....3! The referee never saw the brass knuckles! Raven comes running down the aisle with a chair! Christian is just leaving the ring...and Raven scores with a brutal chair shot! Christian falls to the floor holding his head. Tenay: It’s RAVEN! He’s giving the CLB exactly what he deserves! Snow: Christian’s antics kept Raven away from Raw last week, but Raven is back and more brutal than ever! My Opinion: Slightly above average match. Only gets a **3\4 rating from me. Winner: Christian New Generation of Degenerates The Coach is standing by backstage with Austin Lee. Coach: Lee, earlier Raw GM Shawn Michaels announced that he will not tolerate any more physical abuse towards referees. You singled you out specifically, why do… (lee cuts him off). Lee: Look, I know exactly why I was singled out! I attack referees more than the average guy does. But you know what? It’s because I’m sick of being held down! I’m sick of everyone in this stupid company. I’m sick of Shawn Michaels, I’m sick of all the guys in the locker room, and I’m sick of you, Jonathan Coachman. (Suddenly Coach is jumped from behind.) Tenay: It’s Adam Hastey, the last X Champion from TNA! Lee: Haha, Michaels said we couldn’t hurt the referees anymore, but he didn’t say JACK about beating up spineless announcers. I’d like to reintroduce all of you to Adam Hastey, a good friend of mine and a soul-less son of a bitch. We own Raw now, but more so we own Shawn Michaels. When we are through with him, he is going to rue the day he ever inspired us all those years ago to disobey authority when he started D-Generation X. We are the new generation of degenerates and we aren’t going to take crap from anyone, especially washed up, former degenerates like Shawn Michaels! Snow: The irony of this is sickening! Tenay: Seeing Adam Hastey here in the WWF is just plain surreal! He was the last X Division champion of the NWA! I cannot believe this! Intercontinental Championship: Tommy Dreamer © vs Justin Credible Match Background: This will be a special guest referee bout. Lance Storm will be the referee for this match. This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Tommy Dreamer has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 20 February 2006. HBK made Storm the guest referee in response to Justin Credible cheating on Storm’s behalf on Sunday Night Heat. The Match: Tommy Dreamer hits some punches. How generic. Justin Credible fights out of a grapple. Justin Credible hits a right hand on Tommy Dreamer and follows it up with a couple more. Tommy Dreamer charges, Credible moves, and the referee is knocked silly! Sloppy discus punch from Justin Credible barely connects on Dreamer. Cover, but there's no one to count for Justin Credible! Credible walks into a drop toe hold. Justin Credible charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Spinebuster by Tommy Dreamer. Hooks the leg for a two count. Powerbomb on Credible. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Justin Credible elbows Tommy Dreamer in the face to break a hammerlock. Credible hits a piledriver on Tommy Dreamer. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Dreamer blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Justin Credible can barely stand. Here it comes - Dreamer Driver. 1....2...3, it's finished. Tommy Dreamer is still in the ring celebrating. Justin Credible gets in Lance Storm’s face! He’s demanding to know why Storm “cost him the match.” Storm just makes an annoyed face and leaves while Credible continues to whine. My Opinion: ** rating is all it gets from me. Tenay: Storm called it down the middle, you have to admire that. Snow: True, but what could this do to the Impact Players? Winner and STILL IC Champion: Tommy Dreamer Old Allies Come Together The camera opens to a dark corner of the parking lot. Raven steps out of the shadows. Raven: Christian, your antics have ceased to amuse me. As funny as I think you are, I have had enough of this pointless game of cat and mouse that we have been playing. This is going to end, and it will end at Summerslam. (CM Punk, Julio Dinero, and Alexis Laree suddenly appear out of the shadows behind Raven). Raven: At Summerslam, I want you, Test, and a partner of your choosing in a six man tag against all of us. Should you choose to accept it, spectacular. Should you decline, than this war we have been raging will continue on. I promise you, it will not be pretty. Quote the Raven… Evolution is in the house! Triple H, Steven Richards, and Victoria come out to the ring. They pose and HHH grabs a mic. HHH: You know, it’s funny how so much can change but so much can stay exactly the same. Four years ago, Randy Orton was no one. Aside from his last name, he was totally unrecognizable. Then I did what no one else would, and I took the little guy under my wing. Then what happened to me a year later? The little bastard turned on me! He spit on the good name of Triple H and he spit on the good name of Evolution! Years have gone by, and he’s the same little punk that he was when he was in Evolution. The difference is, he is now the enemy of Triple H. And that, my friend, is something that no one wants to be. HBK’s music plays and he comes back out on the ramp. HBK: Yeah, Hunter. You’re right. The lack of change is really funny. It’s funny how those two little hooligans, Adam Hastey and Austin Lee, think they are going to punk me out. What is also funny, is how no matter what I do, your goons don’t seem to get that interfering in matches is no longer acceptable! I saw what Victoria did earlier tonight in the Women’s title match. As a result, I am stripping Victoria of her number one contender position! (Victoria throws a temper tantrum, Richards tries to console her). Next week, in this very ring, Victoria will have the opportunity to regain the number one Contendership if she can pin… Taylor Matheny! (Crowd pops huge). HHH: Yeah, that’s funny too, Shawn. We should come up there and beat your ass this moment. HBK: Before you do, realize that I just booked a match for you and Richards… right now! You are going to face the guy who pinned you at Bad Blood… Masato Tanaka! (HHH is pissed). And you will also face the newest member of the Raw roster… Billy Kidman! Good luck, assholes! Masato Tanaka and Billy Kidman vs Triple H and Stevie Richards Match Background: Tanaka and HHH had a feud in June, where Tanaka got the fluke pin over HHH at Bad Blood. This is Billy Kidman’s first night on Raw. The Match: Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Stevie goes down. Hard back suplex on Stevie. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Covers for a quick two count. Kidman tags out to Masato Tanaka. Kidman \ Tanaka whip Stevie into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Bodyslam by Tanaka. Stevie Richards avoids a Masato Tanaka avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Big piledriver on Tanaka. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag between Stevie Richards and Triple H. HHH hits a piledriver on Masato Tanaka. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Weak bodyslam on Tanaka by HHH sets up a legdrop. Masato Tanaka pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. BIG clothesline on HHH. Tanaka tags out to Billy Kidman. Billy Kidman strikes HHH. Tag between Triple H and Stevie Richards. Stevie takes a flying neckbreaker from Billy Kidman. Billy Kidman floors Stevie Richards...and climbs the turnbuckles. Through the air, Shooting Star Press! 1....2....3. HHH and Stevie remain in the ring. Stevie Richards does not look happy at losing. Triple H goes to leave, but gets pulled back in by Stevie. Tensions seem to be rising between these two. Victoria comes back in, and tries to cool them both down. My Opinion: Smack dab in the middle of the star spectrum for an average match. **1\2. Tenay: What a shocking upset from Billy Kidman! Snow: And look at Triple H! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he wanted to kill Stevie Richards just now. Winners: Masato Tanaka and Billy Kidman Simon Diamond and Chris Benoit vs Randy Orton and CM Punk Match Background: Chris Benoit is the reigning World Heavyweight champion, and has been since 27 June 2006. Snow: Simon and Benoit appear to still be in good spirits with one another. The Match: Simon Diamond snap suplexes Punk. Diamond drives a thrust kick into the chest of Punk. Hooks the leg for a two count. Diamond tags out to Chris Benoit. Diamond \ Benoit whip Punk into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. There's a two count on the pin. CM Punk charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. CM Punk powers out of a Chris Benoit headlock. Punk hits a piledriver on Chris Benoit. That used to end matches, you know. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between CM Punk and Randy Orton. Spinebuster by Randy Orton. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Fallaway slam by Randy Orton puts down Chris Benoit. Chris Benoit is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Vertical suplex by Chris Benoit. Benoit tags out to Simon Diamond. Orton gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Diamond! Tag to CM Punk. Punk gets caught with a short powerbomb from Diamond. CM Punk slugs Simon Diamond, sending him down into the corner. While Punk fires up the crowd, Diamond is removing the turnbuckle pad! CM Punk comes over...but Diamond grabs him by the tights and uses the leverage to slingshot CM Punk face first into the exposed steel turnbuckle! Simon Diamond rolls up the stunned CM Punk: 1....2...3! How did the referee not see that? Punk and Orton don't look like they're finished by any means...and they rush forward to attack Diamond and Benoit, and send them to the outside. Threats are exchanged as the chaos ends. My Opinion: Let me practice my math. 13 quarter stars equal a ***1\4 rating, right? Yeah, it does. That's what you get. Snow: Evolution won the battle, but I think Orton and Punk won the war, at least for this evening! Tenay: Yes, but look at Diamond and Benoit! They were a precise unit tonight, even after the announcement that they would be opponents at Summerslam! If this keeps up, then I would be very scared about Randy Orton’s chances of winning the World Heavyweight title! Winners: Chris Benoit and Simon Diamond Benoit and Diamond pose in the ring to end the show.

New post should be up in the next few days... look out for a new Raw!

I am lucky enough to know a friend who is ordering the show at her house and not charging guests Haven't been to her place to watch a PPV since No Mercy 2002, so this should be a good time.

No, the WWE would rather have the crowd chant "Boring" for whichever one comes second.

Seems as if the Raw wrestlers have been unhappy for the longest time. If so, I recomend they not resign their contracts and go work somewhere else. Otherwise, they should just get over it. I mean... Raven and D'Lo seem to be pretty happy.

No chance in hell of either happening.

Oh, it's tempting sometimes. Even if Smackdown did move to Spike TV, I still don't think Rhyno would be allowed to do that.

I liked most of it. But I'm a TNA mark.

Yet another reason why I love the FBI!

The segment went better than I thought it would. I had this fear that Austin was going to pull a stunt similar to one he did during the Alliance storyline: I was fearful he'd come out and stun everyone and have them fleeing in terror.

LoL, nice review. How about the ladder match from WM X next? And no luck getting La Parka for my WWF in my ewr diary, so I'm afraid I don't get to choose otherwise

Hehe, I really enjoyed the X Cup. I hope Laz did too. If not, it's okay, I like angry reviews too.

Yes, I am buying this regardless of how awful WM XX turns out. Not that I'm expecting XX to be awful, just disappointing...

Did this really need it's own thread?

WWF Smackdown! August 3, 2006 Clips from Rhyno's beatdown on Paul London from last week play and the show starts! Michael Cole and Tazz welcome us to Smackdown! Chris Kanyon and Sean O'Haire are already in the ring, and they look pissed. Some unfamiliar music plays, and out come the Briscoe Boys! Kanyan and O'Haire vs Briscoe Boys Match Background: M.Briscoe is making his debut at this show. The Match: Chris Kanyon with a spinning neckbreaker on J.Briscoe. Massive backbreaker on J.Briscoe and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Hooks the leg for a two count. Kanyon tags out to Sean O'Haire. Kanyan and O'Haire whip J.Briscoe into the corner. Sean O'Haire whips Chris Kanyon in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Sean O'Haire with a spinning neckbreaker on J.Briscoe. Covers for a quick two count. STIFF~! chop lights up J.Briscoe who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! J.Briscoe reverses a Sean O'Haire hammerlock. Springboard dropkick from Jay Briscoe. Nicely done. Tag between Jay Briscoe and Mark Briscoe. Mark Briscoe hits a rolling kick on O'Haire. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. SUPER frankensteiner on O'Haire, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Sean O'Haire fights out of a grapple. Tag between Sean O'Haire and Chris Kanyon. Chris Kanyon hits a bulldog off the ropes. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Chris Kanyon just KILLS Mark Briscoe! Pin, but M.Briscoe is out just before the three count. Kanyon scoops and slams Mark Briscoe. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? M.Briscoe counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Super kick by Mark Briscoe. Chris Kanyon climbs to the top rope, ready to leap at M.Briscoe. Sean O'Haire bounces off the ropes for an elbow drop without seeing his partner, and crotches Kanyon by accident. Chris Kanyon is in trouble. Cut-Throat Suplex! 1....2....3. Kanyan and O'Haire look like they aren't done...and they attack Briscoe Boys! After an exchange of blows, M.Briscoe and J.Briscoe are laid out in the ring. My Opinion: Absolutely solid match. A few minor things brought it down, so I'm tacking on a **** rating. Tazz: What a huge upset by Jay Briscoe and his brother, Mark! Cole: But look at what those two big bullies are doing! Tazz: They're just reminding the Briscoe Boys that their win was a fluke. Cole: But what makes you think that was any fluke! That was an awesome debut match for a tag team whom I believe could be the future of Smackdown! Winners: The Briscoe Boys The Sanders Administration for Rhyno's Success (SARS) Interview Mike Sanders, WWF Champion Rhyno, U.S. Champion Rodney Mack, Reno, Chuck Palumbo, and Bill DeMott make their way to the ring. Believe it or not but Rhyno is smiling! Rhyno: Did you all see SMACKDOWN last week? Did you see me GORE Paul London?!? That's how things go here on Smackdown, the WWF Champion runs the show and no two-bit nothing is going to take ANYTHING away from me. Mack: You're damn right, Rhyno. No one disrespects the WWF Champion. And no one disrespects the United States champion either. I'm in a fighting mood tonight, but I am not on the card. In which case, I will be in Reno and Chuck's corner for their tag match tonight against Johnny Stamboli and Chad Collyer. And since I'm in such a good mood, and because I have such faith in my teammate's abilities, if Collyer and Stamboli win tonight... I'll give them of them a shot at my U.S. title at Summerslam! Cole: Such arrogance from the U.S. Champion. Rhyno: You're a good man, Rodney. Better than me, but see if I give a flying crap. You might be a fighting champion, but I'm not. I'm not on the card tonight and that is just FINE with me. This title is not going anywhere! They are cut off by Paul London's music. Rhyno: WHAT DO YOU WANT! London (on the ramp): So, Rhyno, you are not a fighting champion? Rhyno: You got that RIGHT! London: So, a good translation of that would be... you're chicken? Rhyno: NO! It means that... I make the people PAY to see me defend my title. They can wait for Summerslam, when I DESTROY whoever the unlucky number one contender might be. And if there is no number one contender, then I guess I just get the month off. London: So you wouldn't be interested in wresting me... tonight? Rhyno: HELL NO! You're beneath me. London: Or maybe you are just chicken! Rhyno: No... I'm not afraid of anyone! Just because you beat me in that six man tag.. or floored me at Fully Loaded... DOES NOT MAKE ME AFRAID OF YOU! London: Okay, then fight me tonight! It doesn't even have to be for the title. Just prove that you're half the man you say you are. Rhyno: YOU'RE ON! Commercial break. Cruiserweight Championship: Frankie Kazarian © vs Ultimo Dragon vs Kid Kash Match Background: This will be a triangle bout. This match is for the WWF Cruiserweight title. Frankie Kazarian has been WWF Cruiserweight champion since 16 July 2006. The Match: Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Kazarian goes down. Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Ultimo goes down. Frankie Kazarian pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Second rope flying axe handle, Kash goes down. One day, Kazarian might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Ultimo crushes Kazarian with a running senton. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Kash hits a dropkick on Ultimo Dragon and gets right back up. Ultimo kicks Kid Kash in the gut to reverse the momentum. Kazarian \ Ultimo whip Kash into the corner. Frankie Kazarian whips Ultimo Dragon in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Diamond Dust from Frankie Kazarian and Kash is out! Ultimo Dragon connects with a back heel kick on Kazarian and gets back up quickly. Kazarian blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Hard back suplex on Kash. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Kid Kash can barely stand. Here it comes - Wave Of The Future. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Some blown spots really drag this match down a notch, so its ***1/2 for you. Cole: Kazarian does it again! Tazz: Amazing accomplishment by this young Frankie Kazarian. He just beat two veterans to retain his title. Winner and STILL Cruiserweight Champion: Frankie Kazarian A new face on Smackdown. We come back from commerical and some unfamiliar music plays. Tazz and Cole are in shock as ERIK WATTS makes his entrance. Cole: It's Erik Watts! What is he doing here? Tazz: What an incredible shock! NWA-TNA was just bought out by the WWF four days ago, and here we are with Erik Watts on Smackdown! Watts: First off, I'd like to thank Shane McMahon for allowing me to be here tonight. It hasn't been an easy week to be Erik Watts. A company that I put a lot of hard work into for the better part of three years is no more. But what is done is done. I have come to Smackdown because I have noticed some ill practices performed by my old rival, Don Callis! I've noticed that a few talented WWF Superstars have had some trouble with Callis and his clients, so I'm here to present an open offer to anyone on the roster who hate Don Callis. Anyone who would be interested in my managerial services need only ask. I ask the boys in the back to take this offer to heart. You may one day find that in order to defeat Callis and his men, you need to have a backup weapon. And men, I am that weapon. Oh, and Rob Van Dam... good luck! Cole: Oh my, you can bet that wherever Don Callis is right now, he isn't happy! Tazz: Who does this loser think he is? AJ Styles vs Sonjay Dutt Styles grabs the mic. Styles: Erik Watts? Hmm, that name doesn't ring a bell... oh yeah! He's from THAT company. The one that felt I wasn't worthy of carrying the company on my shoulders. The same company that could hardly afford to pay me or Don Callis, so we got our asses over to WWF as soon as we could! And as far as RVD goes, I beat your ass THREE times in championship matches! Just because the WWF title isn't on the line this time does not change a thing. You are retiring out of choice now, but by the time I am through with you, you will have no choice but to quit! The Match: Dutt uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Flying reverse elbow by Sonjay Dutt. There's a two count on the pin. Sonjay Dutt misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. AJ Styles kicks the leg, knocks Dutt down, and goes to work on it. Hard back suplex on Dutt. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. There's a two count on the pin. Springboard dropkick from AJ Styles. Nicely done. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Styles uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Sonjay Dutt once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Dutt crushes Styles with a running senton. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tiger suplex on Styles. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Flying elbow from Sonjay Dutt connects. Dutt just WAFFLES Styles with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Styles pushes out of a Sonjay Dutt hold. Dutt takes a flying neckbreaker from AJ Styles. Springboard dropkick from AJ Styles. Nicely done. Sonjay Dutt is in trouble. Styles Clash! 1....2....3. AJ Styles leaves the ring and heads off down the aisle at speed. Styles has the victory, and isn't hanging around for Sonjay Dutt to look for revenge. My Opinion: Oh, look out...almost ***, but not quite. **3/4. Cole: Styles got out of there pretty fast. Tazz: He's pissed a lot of people off, Cole. He knows that he's an open target out there. Winner: AJ Styles Matt Hardy Interview Josh Matthews is with Matt Hardy Version One. Josh: You are set to face the WWF Tag Team Champions tonight. AJ Styles just wrestled, so who is your partner tonight? Hardy: That's the best you've got, Josh? I mean, seriously, who pays you to come up with such rediculous questions! I think anyone could do your job better than you! No offense, man, but you suck! Well, I was going to have Low Ki team up with me tonight, but it seems that he's found something better to do. So I just got off the phone with Don Callis and he told me that Matt Stryker is on his way to the arena. Josh: Stryker is back? Hardy: Yout bet he is. Tonight he will play the role of my newest Mattitude follower, and we shall pick up a victory over the best tag team there is. (Haas and Benjamin walk by and hear this, they look disgusted). Reno and Chuck Palumbo vs Chad Collyer and Johnny Stamboli Match Background: If Stamboli and Collyer win this match, they both get a U.S. title shot at Summerslam. Last week, Reno disguised himself as airport security to keep Collyer from reaching the arena on time. The Match: Johnny Stamboli connects with rights and lefts and Chuck Palumbo is down! Chuck Palumbo charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Palumbo walks into a face-first flapjack. Palumbo tags out to Reno. Reno slams Johnny Stamboli. Stamboli blocks a kick from Reno. Stamboli scoops and slams Reno. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Tag between Johnny Stamboli and Chad Collyer. Stamboli \ Collyer whip Reno into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Collyer crushes Reno with a sweet running senton. Slingshot senton by Collyer, crushing the chest cavity of Reno. Tag to Johnny Stamboli. Reno takes a nasty tumble from the top to the outside after a shove from Johnny Stamboli! While Reno is outside the ring, a group of cops rush in. Cole reminds us that Reno had charges pressed against him last week for posing as airport security. Reno runs off through the audience to get away while the cops are in hot pursuit. The referee counts Reno out due to him being the legal man. Collyer and Stamboli win! My Opinion: Let me practice my math. 13 quarter stars equal a ***1\4 rating, right? Yeah, it does. That's what you get. Tazz: Has Reno been avoiding the police since last week? Cole: It appears so, either way Stamboli and Collyer are going to Summerslam for a U.S. Title shot! Winners by count-out: Johnny Stamboli and Chad Collyer Non-title match: WWF Tag Team Champions The Basham Brothers vs Matt Hardy Version 1.0 and Matt Stryker Match Background: Basham Brothers are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Basham Brothers are the reigning WWF Tag Team champions, and have been since 16 July 2006. The Match: Danny walks into a high dropkick from Matt Stryker, almost losing several teeth in the process. Hard back suplex on Danny. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Matt Stryker and Matt Hardy Version 1.0. Stryker \ Hardy whip Danny into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Danny Basham by Hardy. Remember when that was a legit finish? Hardy charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Full nelson slam on Hardy. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Danny Basham and Doug Basham. Spinebuster by Doug Basham. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Basham slams Matt Hardy Version 1.0 down and motions to the crowd. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Basham tastes a high angle back suplex. If Spike Lee can sue TNN over the Spike TV nonsense, then Kurt Angle should be able to sue SOMEONE for that. Tag to Matt Stryker. STIFF high kick on Basham by Matt Stryker. Tag to Danny Basham. Danny takes a flying neckbreaker from Matt Stryker. Danny Basham grabs Matt Stryker from behind and shoves him into the ropes, then scores with a roll-up...but Stryker rolls through with the move! He used a pull of the tights to get Danny over! 1....2...3! The referee was out of position and didn't see it! Hardy \ Stryker remain in the ring, celebrating their victory. My Opinion: Almost got a **** match, but was lacking in certain areas, so i'm knocking off a quarter of a star. Yes, there is such a thing as a quarter star. ***3/4. Cole: Hardy and Stryker have stolen a win! They have (Low Ki appears out of no where and grabs Cole's headset). Low Ki: There is no honor in this company! What the hell did Stamboli and Collyer do to get a U.S. title shot? NOTHING! I demand that I am included into that match up. I was robbed of my U.S. Championship in the first place and I never got my rematch! It is only fair and it is the honorable thing to do! Tazz: Well spoken by a mistreated man. Winners: Matt Hardy and Matt Stryker Summerslam Hype Tazz and Michael Cole announce that the theme song for Summerslam is the new single from the band, Powerman 5000 (it's 2006, surely they'll have something new around then). They run down the list of matches, and announce that officials in the back have signed Rodney Mack vs Low Ki vs Chad Collyer vs Johnny Stamboli vs Summerslam. They also take a look at the history between AJ Styles and Rob Van Dam. This includes clips from their matches from Wrestlemania XXI, Judgement Day 05, and Summerslam 05. Non-title Match: WWF Champion Rhyno vs Paul London Match Background: Rhyno is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 16 July 2006. Paul London pinned Rhyno in a six man tag match two weeks ago. Last week Rhyno beat down London after his match with Bill DeMott. The Match: Paul London strikes Rhyno. Rhyno avoids a Paul London avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Rhyno ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. London walks into a face-first flapjack. Cover, but there's no one to count for Rhyno! Paul London fights out of a grapple. London hits a dropkick on Rhyno and gets right back up. London crushes Rhyno with a running senton. There's a two count on the pin. Springboard dropkick from Paul London. Nicely done. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Rhyno powers out of a Paul London headlock. London walks into a side slam. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Rhyno misses a clothesline, but connects with another. Rhyno waits for London to get back to his feet and goes for a Gore! London dodges it, and Rhyno goes running into the ring post. London capitilizes by jumping to the top rope and nails Rhyno with the London Calling!!! He goes for the cover and 1...2...3! Cole: PAUL LONDON HAS PINNED RHYNO AGAIN! Tazz: OH MY GOD! My Opinion: Almost got a **** match, but was lacking in certain areas, so i'm knocking off a quarter of a star. Yes, there is such a thing as a quarter star. ***3/4. London slides out the ring. Rhyno is just coming to and he realizes what happened. London is making the the title gesture to his waist. Rhyno grabs a mic. Rhyno: YOU THINK YOU ARE SUCH A TOUGH GUY! THAT WAS A FLUKE! I AM SO SURE THAT WAS A FLUKE THAT I'M GOING TO CHALLENGE YOU TO ANOTHER MATCH! YOU AND ME, PAUL. AT SUMMERSLAM! FOR MY WWF CHAMPIONSHIP! London grins and gives Rhyno a thumbs up. Rhyno throws a temper tantrum as Smackdown goes off the air. Winner: Paul London

LoL. Okay, I'll see if La Parka is available.