Toxxic

Tom may not walk on water, but he does run on porter.

I should play for the hell of it. I'll be picking guys on whether I like their names.

I hate it when waves drift away before I can swim to them. Way to go TBS - you kept your head, AND your trousers.

What do you mean? Rane grew as well, didn't he?

I realised that we were the only two three-time World Champions who were ever active in the fed at the same time, and thought the match should be done but I have an opponent in mind for Ground Zero and after that who knows what might be going on. So since the Flesher character had already moaned about no World Title matches on Smarkdown and the Toxxic character is getting a bit more laid-back I thought I'd have Toxxic suggest the match for the hell of it because the Flesher character would snap it up. The reasons I suggested it are 1) for the hell of it and 2) because the only other time I faced Danny one-on-one he'd gone MIA after his previous match and didn't return until just recently. So I won by no-show, which is by-and-large the story of my career when it comes to the career-defining matches (of which that was one). So I thought I'd ask him for another just to see which of us will win THIS time. Of course, now YOU'RE back I'll just have to request a match with you as well. After all, it seems a shame to face off against one and not the other...

Yeah, but it went up late, much like the promo where I arrange a match with Danny Williams - the FIRST EVER match between two three-time World Champions. People read the show when it goes up and don't pay attention to it after that. After all, why should they? They now know who won THEIR match. And no, I'm not implying that I don't do exactly the same thing.

My favourite wrestler has to be Randy Myers. And the answer to your question Johnny: Taamo.

My Mystery Opponent (and all future ones, ESPECIALLY Danny) should note that my stats have changed a little. To be honest I can't remember exactly how, since i did it a couple of days ago and I've been ill since then. Maybe it was just that I'm now edging towards tweener. But whatever, they've changed. Don't say I didn't warn you. Oh yeah, I'm also 6'7 now.

Smarks Board Name: MikeofEvil Wrestler’s Name: Amy Stephens Height: 5’10 Weight: 171lbs Hometown: Nottingham, UK Age: 21 Face/Heel: Face Stable: 'Drunk & Disorderly' with Bruce Blank Ring Escort: None Weapon(s): A studded black leather bracelet that she wraps around her fist and uses like brass knuckles if she can get away with it. Quote: ‘You what!?’ *SMACK* 'Innit!' 'Ya get me?' Looks: Amy is a pretty girl with baby blue eyes, although she has a slightly chubby face. Since she’s started wrestling her figure has toned up a bit, but there’s definitely some meat on her - the only six-pack she’s ever likely to see in the mirror is the beer in her hand, and she still spills over her trousers a bit. Her black hair has a fringe, and the rest comes down past her shoulders in an undercut which gets tied back during matches. IMPRESSIVE cleavage, although that’s also partly from the fact that she‘s a tad overweight by ‘traditional’ standards. Her clothes vary from day to day, but in the ring she tends to wear baggy black Criminal Damage skate trousers, a cut-off T-shirt, normally of a band like the Ramones, and pink-and-black Vans. Ring Entrance: The blasting opening of ‘Blitzkrieg Bop’ by the Ramones fires up, leading to a cheer from the crowd. After a few seconds Amy comes out onto the stage with a can of lager (usually Stella Artois) in her hand and charges down to the ring. -FUNYON STUFF- Amy climbs to the second buckle, raises her lager and leads the crowd in a chorus: “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” As Joey launches into the first verse proper Amy drops down to the ring again, takes a few pulls from her can and then puts it down on the apron before getting ready for the match. Stats: Strength: 3 - Amy is a beefy girl and can hit just as hard as her brother Speed: 5 - She’s not exactly… streamlined. In fact, she’s a bit top-heavy. That sort of cuts down the high-flying moves. And besides, she can’t be bothered with all that fancy crap. Vitality: 6 - Whoops. She doesn’t jump around as much as her brother, so she can take more of a kicking before she finally goes down. Not invulnerable by any means, but surprisingly resilient. Charisma: 6 - If you can penetrate the Nottingham accent and high-speed delivery she has an engaging directness that makes her brother look like a master of diplomacy. And let’s face it, the tits mean she’s gonna get cheered by every straight guy or lesbian in the audience no matter what she does. Style: Brawler. Straight-up and simple. Sloppy, unrefined and aggressive, a cool head and some wrestling knowledge should take care of her, but underestimate her determination and desire to smash your face in at your peril. Signature Moves: Headbutt/Diving headbutt - one of her main weapons, can and will target any part of the body. Lou Thesz press and punches Illegal use of her studded bracelet for a ‘Power Of The Punch’ type move ‘Double D T’ - SNAP DDT, Kick-out-the-leg-and-whip-backwards Lita-style. And yes, it’s a bra size joke. Sitting surfboard - Amy stands on her opponent’s back when they’re on their face on the mat, grabs their wrists and then drops back to a sitting position, bending their upper body backwards. ‘Face Breaker’ - grabs the opponent’s head in both hands while facing them, then jumps up and drops back whilst bringing both her knees up to smash into their face on landing. Imagine a Lungblower done to your face. Reverse Full Nelson neckbreaker - she may well have picked this one up from Toxxic, who loved to invent things. Amy hooks an opponent as if for a backslide but locks her hands together as if applying a full nelson, then drops down into a neckbreaker which delivers an added ‘kick’ on the neck and upper back. Moonsault - the rarest of the Sigs, since if she’s going to jump off the top rope she generally likes to see where she’s going. Common Moves: Slams Punches Kicks (nothing special) Polish Hammer 2nd rope elbow 2nd rope leg drop Biting Chokes Bronco buster/Stink Face Rare Moves: ‘Sex On The Beach’ - Corkscrew Swanton Bomb/Spiral Tap. So named because it happens less often than you’d want and it’s never as good as you expect. Plus, it’s another alcohol reference. JackDanielsHammer - cruiserweights ONLY Finishers: ‘Last Orders’ - rear naked choke with body scissors (preferred). ‘Vodka Kick’ - Scissors kick. Can be done off the second rope if the situation allows. NOTES: -She’s trained… sort of. Her brother certainly had a hand in her training, and we all know how much he knew about the finer points of technical wrestling, so how good he’d be at passing it on is anyone’s guess. However… -She’s nuts. Not screaming, demented psychotic nuts, just your average, common-or-garden have-a-few-pints-and-start-on-someone nuts. Relative size, weights and strength don’t really matter to her, if she thinks you‘re looking at her funny, she‘ll have you. She bit half someone’s ear off once in a club, although admittedly it was after he’d headbutted her. No-one knows what she did to get headbutted in the first place. Feel free to ask, if you dare. -Damn those Stephens kids and their inferiority complexes. Toxxic had to prove to everyone that he was the best wrestler in the company; Amy originally got offered a ‘Diva’ contract by Peters, and now feels that she has to prove she belongs in the ring. -She's not your typical WWE Diva. Not only can she brawl, she doesn't exactly use her sexuality. If you tear her shirt off, she use it to strangle you. Chants of 'show your tits' will NOT endear the crowd to her. Basically, if you remember Toxxic's old manager/girlfriend Jet... she ain't like Jet. Think of her as a female Stone Cold. BIO: Amy Stephens had Toxxic as an older brother, and that pretty much tells you all you need to know about her childhood, and why she’s turned out quite so cheerfully violent. Although hardly unintelligent she lagged behind her brother at school, and perhaps her envy/dislike of him is why she ended up going in a different direction. Toxxic went straight-edge, went to the gym and took out his aggression by learning to wrestle; Amy got slaughtered as often as possible, went out clubbing and took out her aggression by starting fights with anyone in the vicinity. After her brother started hitting the big time and sending home large amounts of money for the family their relationship improved somewhat as she respected the validity of his choices, but then things changed again. Toxxic left the SWF after Ground Zero ‘05 to come back and live in Nottingham. Amy had started to get some wrestling training and Toxxic added to it, along with a bit of advice on playing politics. However, one autumn morning he just… disappeared. With no contact from their son Amy’s parents got rather alarmed despite their belief that he could take care of himself, and finally Amy, newly turned 21, headed off to try and find him. The most obvious port of call was the SWF, but Joseph Peters denied all knowledge. Amy travelled across America looking for any rumour of her brother but found nothing, and eventually had to start wrestling in order to make enough money to continue her search. Now she’s come back to the SWF, aware that Joe Peters sees dollar signs in her relationship to a former World Champion, and she’s determined to get enough money out of him to continue her search once her six month contract is up. One thing that has been made clear however, is that this isn’t a mission of mercy; she’s looking for her brother, Michael Stephens, to put her parents’ minds and rest and then beat the shit out of him for making them worry. This ain’t going to be a pretty family reunion. TAG STATS Team name: 'Drunk & Disorderly' (with Bruce Blank) Entrance Music: 'Too Drunk To Fuck' by the Dead Kennedys Style: In the vein of the Hart Foundation in that it’s a big power house teaming with a smaller, faster partner – except here BOTH are freaking nuts. Weapon of Choice: D & D will most likely carry an Igloo Cooler to the ring with them, you know for cold beers and stuff, ice cubes… a hidden weapon now and again on Bruce’s part. The cooler itself also doubles as a weapon that can be used if the situation gets desperate enough (a rarity) Double Team Signature Moves: -Bruce gorilla pressing Amy onto opponents, whether this is as a splash while in the ring or over the rope to the outside is the unknown factor in the match – be creative when Bruce has Amy raised in the air, but bear in mind that if she considers that he groped her while she was up there there'll be hell to pay. -'Beer Nuts': The Dudleys' 'whassup' headbutt, only without the 'WHASSUP'. (Amy on the top rope in case you didn’t know) -Rocket Launcher Elbow: Amy on the top rope, Bruce helps her leap forward by giving her a push to cross 2/3rds of the ring for a Randy Savage style elbow drop. -'Tequila Slammer': Amy on the top again, Bruce grabs her under the arms and brings her off to slam her down HARD in a rolling senton onto an opponent. Double Team Finisher -'Disorderly Conduct': Bruce has the opponent in a wheelbarrow powerbomb position and Amy comes off the second rope with an axe kick to the back of the head. Used to see life in the fed as the 'Decapitator', courtesy of Dace Night and Va'aiga.

Happy Birthday Munchie!

Given that we are able to write whatever we damn well please and aren't generally limited by budget, fire regulations or whatever, we have had some pretty kick-ass entrances for wrestlers. So... which ones are your favourites? Either someone's regular entrance, or a 'special occasion' one where someone's pulled out all the stops. You CAN mention your own if you have a particular hard-on for it, but please explain why. My faves: Trinity-era Janus/Terrence Bailey: I just really dug the 'Height: 7'2, Weight: 360lbs, Status: RELEASED' shit, and the searchlight effect. Sacred: Possibly slightly ripped from the nWo, but still a very, very good entrance. And although I've never actually heard his entrance music the description of it makes it sound very unique. Kibagami: The combination of music and pyro was always very vivid and made him seem like a superstar. Edwin: How can you not love the mini-promo? Honourable Mention: Ejiro at G4. Ripped, but intentionally so.

I thought it was Danielson who did that? At Survival of the Fittest, right?

Come on, this is the Insane Luchador. You think a little thing like being dead is going to stop him?

The Main Event - Six Man Tag Team Match Wild and Dangerous and Lil' Buck vs. Martial Law © (Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez) and Ejiro Fasaki © ~I'll say W&D&B, probably due to in-fighting from their opponents. ~SDvsRaw gives me a match that actually follows the N.American formula, as MartialJiro keep Buck isolated for the first 12 MINUTES before he makes the hot tag. In the end Johnny makes Ejiro tap to his own Cobra Crossface. What a bastard. Toxxic vs. ??? ~I'll say this, my opponent is easily capable of beating me. ~SDvsRaw agrees, as Toxxic succumbs to my opponent's finisher. Acropolis Now - SWF Hardcore Championship Match Zyon © vs. JJ Johnson vs. Mak Francis ~I don't see any way for Mak not to win this, if we're honest. But a Zyon victory would rock. As indeed would J3, with the VINEGAR MIST~! Olympic Wrestling Exhibition (Non-Title) "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke © vs. Arch Griffon ~Yeesh. I'll say Hawke. Manson vs. Austin Sly ~If Sly writes, he can take this. This question is, will he? And not to mention the fact that if Manson writes, he could take this too... "The Maniac" Bryan Rodgers vs. Ghost Machine ~Rodgers, assuming he writes and Ghost Machine puts in a performance like last time. Jumpin' Jack Flash vs. "Big Country" Martin Hunt ~Cherry Coke vs Southern Comfort. COKE WINS~!

Good promo, but I have to say I don't like Flesher as an actively nasty character given that he's in power. I think the trick will be finding the balance between a slightly vindictive person who occasionally uses his clout to arrange things that might not QUITE be fair and the generic heel commissioner. Especially since he doesn't like me much, either...

I say make him Commish. Come on, ZOMBIE Insane Luchador? It'd be awesome! That being said, have fun IL and I hope we see you around.

I am never, EVER guessing at a ??? man again. Ever. In my life. That one had NO RIGHT to be ELM, but I threw out the suggestion in the predictions thread and lo and behold, there he was. Maybe I should just start predicting all the old stars will come back and they will?

Raynor is possibly the coolest thing to ever happen to this fed. The descriptions, the graphics, the crazy stips... in that last one particularly he's like Thoth, but waaaaaaaaay better. *assaults people with question marks*

Seconded.

MAIN EVENT CRUISERWEIGHT EXHIBITION Wildchild v. ??? ~I'm thinking WC. As for the ???, well I REALLY doubt it's Drea since Buck is still active as far as I know (and if not, I doubt she'd drop him for Andrea immediately). Sacred seems a good possibility, lord knows Muzz is due to return soon. Although I look at the markers, and I don't see ELM anywhere... GRUDGE MATCH Johnny Dangerous v. Tom Flesher ~If Tom goes over then I'm a left-handed ham sandwich. SINGLES MATCH Steven Brody v. Ced Ordonez ~Brody SINGLES MATCH Ghost Machine v. Martin "Big Country" Hunt ~I'm going to be pessimistic and say DNS

Pretzler just gets cooler and cooler.

No. You just get a record as a sex offender, and that's something you DON'T want to have. Just ask Jacko.

Well, Landon's in the UK so I'd say that counts.

You know, Jimmy Yang/Akio IS of Korean heritage... IT'S MONEY!!!

Happy birthday Landon - you're finally legal to drink! And also legal to have gay sex, IIRC.