Toxxic

Shush. First lesson of Rev-0 - TAKE THE CREDIT.

I'd like to add my voice to Landon's. That opening was fucking FANTASTIC.

*blinks* Annie! Long time no see.

Coi ARE Japanese, aren't they?

I have to say, I'd be up for that tape.

Sleep deprivation, JJ, sleep deprivation. I could log back in now and I'd be in time to say 'hey' before I have to go.

None of you fuckers are in chat, no matter when i go. Not even Drea anymore.

Ignore me.

I do believe I actually have a small amount of respect for JBL and OJ now. Who'd have thought it?

The content of Matthew's announcing is very good, it's just his delivery makes him sound nerdy. Yes, even to wrestling fans. I still maintain that the greatest announce team in the history of this sport was Tazz/Matthews on Velocity. They knew no-one in management was listening, so they just let loose.

Hey, it's not MY fault you impregnated Megan. ...probably just as well, really...

Yeah, Drazen uses the Shining Black too. Spike uses the Dangerous Wizard, which is the Shining Enzuigiri. Pretzler is called 'Shining Wizard' on the Death Valley Driver forums, where he discusses the size of wrestlers' penises. Or should that be peni?

Well, this Mystery Team had better be good now. Everyone try and think who it might be, bearing in mind that unless Ejiro's pulling double duty it's unlikely to be J'n'R... ...although, given the way that Flesher laughed when Landon said it should be him vs Ejiro, maybe this IS a possibility after all. Better check and see if Judge is down to mark the match...

I know I'd mark out if you won with the Dreaded Hop Splash.

I call copyright infringement.

I SAID HALLELUJAH! TO MY SIXTEEN LOYAL FANS-AH! SO GET RIGHT DOWN ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN' KNEES! (Happy Birthday, Edwin)

If Tom's servicing ANOTHER hot Japanese chick on the side, then he just needs to die now. Apart from that, big up to the promoness!

“I’m telling you,” the man says in a distinctive South African accent, “there’s this big gangster from America, some wrestler or something, and he’s got a vendetta against diners!” The barman he’s talking to looks dubious, but the man isn’t going to be dissuaded from his story. “Look, I’m telling you, I was there…” [FADE IN] “Damn!” Li’l Buck says, pushing his chair back from the table and patting his distended stomach, “dat shit was da cracka!” “Glad you liked it,” the waiter smiles at Sugarhill’s Finest. “Could I interest you in dessert?” “No way, nigga!” Buck exclaims. “I’m stuffed, bitch!” Then a flicker of doubt crosses his face. “Why, what you got?” “Well, we are famed for our selection of pies,” the waiter replies, producing a dessert board for the King of Crunk. “Damn,” Buck mutters, “I like pie!” “We have apple,” the waiter suggests. “…nah,” Buck dismisses the idea. “Lemon meringue?” “Too sweet, fool!” “Banana cream?” “Do I look like a clown to you?” Buck snaps, and the waiter steps backwards waving his hands apologetically. “No, no, of course not! Well, for the real connoisseur, we do have something special…” A trolley is wheeled out, on which sits a large and resplendent: “Blick Cherry Pie!” “Say what?” Buck asks, tilting his head. “The Blick Cherry Pie,” the waiter repeats, surprised that Buck didn’t hear him the first time. “A what Cherry?” Li’l Buck asks again, raising his voice slightly. “A… Blick… Cherry?” the South African waiter says, now sure that something is wrong but still unclear as to what. “No, no, NO!” Buck roars, leaping up. “You ain’t talkin’ that shit to me, fucker! Now name the pie properly!” “Blick Cherry!” the waiter squeals in alarm. “Blick Cherry!” “I don’ believe dis!” Buck yells, pulling out a Glock (or something equally ‘hood’, whatever sort of device designed to shoot people is considered fashionable these days) and pointing it at a nearby couple sitting terrified at their table. “Do I have to execute every motherfuckin’ last person in this place to hear my pie correctly pronounced!? Say it, you bitch!” “…blick…” the waiter whispers. “WRONG ANSWER!” *BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!!* An assortment of bodies slump to the ground, bleeding in many family-friendly ways. Buck grins the barrel of his weapon into the waiter’s forehead and leans down low. “You got one more chance, MOTHERFUCKER!” Buck hisses. “Now, I will say dis one more time. NAME… MY… PIE!!” The waiter closes his eyes, says his prayers and gives the only answer he can. “….blick.” *BANG!!* [FADE OUT] “Heh, weird,” the barman says. “But the barman was OK, right? The barman is always OK.” At that moment Li’l Buck enters the diner, raises his Glock and fires. *BANG!!* This promo was brought to you by the inability of the South African accent to correctly pronounce the word ‘black’.

To show anyone who thinks that I write better promos than you that they can quite easily believe that two of mine - in fact, two of my best ones in my opinion - can easily be taken for yours with the addition of your name at the top.

AN SWF.COM EXCLUSIVE! “Spike.” The voice is clearly recognisable. It belongs to the Straight-Edge Sensation, and as the camera focuses in on Toxxic’s face it’s clear that the Brit is not in a good mood. “A nice little trick,” Toxxic says, unblinking. “How best to piss off a straight-edger? Spike his drink, of course. You of all people should know exactly how mad that’s made me, Spike… which makes me wonder why you did it.” A quick motion of the head, a snap from side-to-side that produces a vaguely audible clicking sound from Toxxic’s vertebrae. “Dense as you can be, you’d know I’d be bloody furious after that,” Toxxic begins again. “I don’t think even you would be dumb enough to do that just as some stupid prank. So what’s it in aid of?” the Brit continues, one eyebrow raising slightly. “My guess; you’re after another match with me. You haven’t been able to get the job done so far, so you wind me up to the point where you know I won’t refuse. Well, time for a little reality check, sunshine - I’d never turn down a chance to get in the ring with you. All you’ve done is made it into a pleasure.” Toxxic leans closer to the camera. All the traces of a more mellow, more relaxed and above all happier Toxxic have disappeared. For the moment at least, the only thing visible in the steel-grey eyes is bloodlust. “Unfortunately for you Spike, I’ve made the first move,” Toxxic informs his absent enemy. “I haven’t waited for your challenge - I’ve gone ahead and put my request in for 13th Hour to the Booking Committee. Took a little while to talk Flesher around of course, but once he’d finished being difficult for the sake of it he agreed with the others. It’s on, sunshine… but just how it’s on is my little secret. You won’t find out until after our match in Egypt.” A brief lopsided grin passes over Toxxic’s face, like a shark that has found something amusing. “That’s assuming you’re still in any condition to wrestle after Monday. Sweet dreams.”

I'll let you in on a secret... I wrote those.

The last Triple Threat I remember was me vs Janus vs Flesher nearly a year ago. No actually, it was the Jet vs Kelly vs Megan Christmas Star match at Slay Ride

Me with a scuba tank - well, i was curious why I was coming from the sea since it was hardcore and nothing to prevent me from coming in through the crowd and wrecking shit... except of course the hostile gangsta crowd who I'd already pissed off. And my earlier promo was somewhat WACKY~! so the scuba did sorta make sense...

That'll be the one. The entire ntl server for Nottingham was down for about 4 days, but it came back up this afternoon.

Extract from Wrestling Panda Newsletter for 6/3/05 Sources in South Africa say that the SWF was lucky to avoid a major incident the morning after their big show in Johannesburg when a member of the roster launched an apparently unprovoked assault on a staff member of hotel where he had been staying. According to eyewitness accounts, Toxxic attacked the receptionist after the man wished him ‘have a nice trip’. The reasons for this uncharacteristic action on the part of the former World Champion remain unclear although speculation abounds that it has something to do with his non-appearance at the Johannesburg show, believed to be the first time that Toxxic has not made a show he was booked to appear on. A hasty application of cash by SWF lawyers has prevented the receptionist in question from taking the matter further.