Toxxic

Sorry. No dice. That's an awful idea. This isn't 'Mortal Kombat - the TV Series', and I don't think it should be. There might (MIGHT) be an audience for that type of thing, but you wouldn't find it, and it wouldn't be as big. I mean, you'd lose ALL the die-hards. Every single one. BUT you'd also struggle to find new fans. I mean, how do you market that? And what happened to continuity? What about the revenue they make from their back catalogue? How do you explain that Benoit used to beat people by pulling their arm out of it's socket, but now he can morph into a giant wolverine and tear their throat out (or whatever)? (I wasn't serious) (But hey, every style should be taken into consideration) Just remember, I saw the adventures of Sho Funaki, Time Travelling Scientist. You can never tell with the RRR.

The Search function isn't working for me, so I can't link to the one I want. But if anyone else wants to find it for me, the match is me vs Dace Night for the World Title, taking place on Lockdown, August 11th 2004 from the Delta Center in Salt Lake City, Utah. [bACKSTORY] It's ten days after Toxxic won the World Title for the first time, and he's immediately put up against the man who had basically been his nemesis for much of his career, fellow Brit Dace F'n Night. They'd met twice before; once when Toxxic successfully defended his ICTV Title against Dace in what was, given our respective card positions at the time, probably the biggest upset of my career, and once shortly afterwards when Toxxic and Jimmy 'The Demon' Liston beat the team of Dace and his mentor Danny Williams (in another upset). Dace had said, correctly, that he had been in something of a writing rut at the time of those losses. The reason I am really proud of this match - even though my more recent stuff shows a better understanding of wrestling and pyschology - is that I went one-on-one with Dace Night, at a time when he was writing well and consistently, for the biggest prize in the fed... and beat him. Only just, but I beat him

So tell me, if the judges aren't judging anything now then why are they still commenting? Their opinions can make or break someone's chances. Case in point: Sharpie. People will read my promo, then read his comments and assume that he is telling the truth - that I lifted my promo straight from the SWF. They won't bother to go and check that out, because they'll assume he did. He didn't bother either. If the judges don't have any say anymore, they should stick to commenting in the Fan's Choice forum and just leave the promos be. I don't mind getting kicked out if people think my work is shit, but I don't want to get kicked out because Sharpie made a false judgement and posted it. And I respect differences of opinion and all, and I'm not saying by ANY means that I'm better than everyone else in there, I mean I like Faith's stuff and Tamu is at least good at putting things together, even if he is basically the HVille Thugg, but for Christ's sake tell me how SUGAR SHANE FUCKING PERRY can be getting 'not bad' votes for the SHIT that he writes? And 009 gets a 'not bad' comment for doing a promo that laughs at the judges for not being able to can him anymore, then does a fucking stand-up club routine? I've started this competition so I'll finish, but I honestly have no clue, NO CLUE what Sharpie and Brad use as their marking tools here. I could have followed your advice and omitted the ending with the SWF in it and they'd have still thought it was boring and crap.

Sorry. No dice. That's an awful idea. This isn't 'Mortal Kombat - the TV Series', and I don't think it should be. There might (MIGHT) be an audience for that type of thing, but you wouldn't find it, and it wouldn't be as big. I mean, you'd lose ALL the die-hards. Every single one. BUT you'd also struggle to find new fans. I mean, how do you market that? And what happened to continuity? What about the revenue they make from their back catalogue? How do you explain that Benoit used to beat people by pulling their arm out of it's socket, but now he can morph into a giant wolverine and tear their throat out (or whatever)? In terms of a business model, the WWE could probably do a lot worse than try and follow the sort of model that ROH uses. It's focused on the wrestling, you get some backstage antics and Sportz Entertainment stuff but never too much. You never have to REALLY suspend your disbelief (except for a few of the more contrived spots). For example, the Homicide/Samoa Joe fireball in 2004. Homicide thought he'd won, the referee denied it, the lights got killed and then he fireballed Joe. They never said it happened because Homicide had mystic powers, it was because he had Rocky Romero turn the lights off and he had some lighter fluid sneaked to him in those few moments of balckness. Backup plan.

So since you're not writing you've got 3.5k, right?

Toxxic entered because Tom Flesher entered him against his will - Toxxic thinks the competition is a load of crap since it's about talking instead of wrestling, and his fellow competitors are all mouth and no trousers, and wouldn't last five minutes against him in the ring. However, due to his nice little inferiority complex now he IS in he's going to try and win it.

Mine was a shade under 9k i believe, which clocks it in as the shortest PPV match I've ever done. Of course, the previous shortest was Slay Ride vs Landon, which lost...

Apparently Mak just gained access to the CC board. Atta boy. It's called a 'Rankings Match' in the card description Mike, it doesn't take a genius to work it out. AND I MUST BE SOME KIND OF GEEEENNNIIIIIIUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Sorry, brief Chris Card moment there...

Hey, at the start they said they DIDN'T want people talking about it like it was an actual competition. Wish they'd make up their fucking minds. And what, we're meant to have 8 MORE WEEKS or however many it is of people simply talking about how good they are? Jesus Christ, why don't they rename it the Self-Fellatio Icon?

I know. What the lot at X-Net don't seem to grasp is that it's possible to have a wrestler who is a WRESTLER and not anything else. As in, Toxxic doesn't have a dead sister who calls his name out, and hasn't killed for the mob, and isn't a preacher who lost his faith... he's just a wrestler, and so all his character development apart from his basic inferiority complex is totally tied to the fed. So I can't really RP outside of the fed. Which means it'll always look like an SWF promo. I suppose I could just have Toxxic start a fight with a big bloke every week...

I LIKE it. It's also cool that Drea remembered that Sean Davis doesn't speak in Ebonics... FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

I'm thinking he'd be better than a mole gimmick.

Please, show some respect for e-feds. The weirdest character I remember recently was Uncle Filthy, host of a truly disturbing kids' TV show... and even that was better than a prosthetic mole (actually, Uncle Filthy was bloody funny). I tell you, most e-fed writers could do better than THIS.

Those were all comedy promos, right? Hmm. Well, I think I can *probably* manage something... Give me a little while here.

OK. Then don't complain when you lose to actual competition because you haven't taken our advice. You're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

IL, I swear he was only about 6'1 last time I was beating him about the Wachovia Center. He's 6'4 now... and even lighter than before. He's more like Anorexic Luchador.

Yeah. My tortoise is a luchadore tortoise. He wrestles under a mask to prevent anyone finding out that he's so athletic.

SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP Toxxic (SWF World Heavyweight Champion) v. "The Franchise" Mak Francis ~Me to hold Mak down. SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP Johnny Dangerous (SWF International Champion) v. Landon Maddix ~Push. I think Landon's the slightly better writer, but Johnny shows much more regularly. I want them both to engage in a bitchslap war though. MYSTERY MATCH ??? v. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins ~I want QMM to be someone good, someone old school, someone who'll really get involved in the fed... it'll probably be Flesher coming back as a one-off to kick SPike around for no-showing. But I'll pick Spike to win in 500 words with the Ratings Crash. Come on, it's what he always does on PPVs. SWF WORLD CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP LADDER MATCH Wildchild (SWF World Cruiserweight Champion) v. "The Critic" Scott Pretzler ~Stable pride says Pretzler. If he really goes for it, he might just do it too. SINGLES MATCH Lil' Buck v. Lord David ~Li'l Buck owns you. Yes, even you David. SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP JJ Johnson v. Insane Luchadore ~J3 biznitches. RANKINGS MATCH "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez v. Ejiro Fasaki ~I'm liking this match whichever way it goes. I think Ejiro might just edge it out though. SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP #1 CONTENDERSHIP Jay Hawke v. Manson ~I'll play safe and say Manson, since we don't know whether Hawke will have time to write. BAR ROOM BRAWL Arch Griffon v. Mohammed Koran ~DOUBLE TURN!!

Oh stop it, you crazy old people. And incidentally, what was with IL gaining about 3 inches before his comeback this time? Are you channeling Rane, or what?

A Mexican tortoise with a gun.

OK... when we say 'Rules: None' do we mean that it's No-DQ? Or are we talking straight singles?

^ Here's your next main-eventer, people.

Sometimes I wonder what the fuck you lot are going to do for a reliable main-eventer once I retire Toxxic. And if nothing else, I'm living proof that you can get massive success and hold down the rest of the card (hey, why deny it any more?) not through being a great writer, but just by being consistent.

Well, Judge was face last time we saw him so I'm not sure it'd be him...

Er... what? Why would Mak be in Martial Law? He tagged with Landon once vs me and Sean, but that was only because they were two main-event faces.