Toxxic

Oooooooh. I wonder how much trouble Sean is going to get in for denting Funyon's car?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JANUS. *pounce-huggles Janus* Bitch.

Yeah yeah, act all superior and make light of Sectarian violence. No, go on, do it.

These people all rock in various ways, even though I have hardly seen any of them write. Congratulations to all, I fervently hope that I may too be admitted some day in the distant future. What's happened to the Awards Polls, btw?

I think Dagda might actually get a pop, since I believe I'm correct in saying that his second name is that of an old Irish god.

Just for noting purposes - as an Englishman in Ireland, I would probably be booed out of the building. So me and Rev-0 are back to being heels again.

I wrote to job, as Kibagami had earlier in the evening thrown me through the plate glass doors of the General Motors Place and Toxxic was barely able to stand, let alone wrestle. The plan was that Kibs would cost me the ICTV title, then I would hunt down and go for his World Title in revenge. Of course, Kibagami being Kibagami, he no-showed his defence that night against Danny and it went out of the window, so we faced off in a Last Man Standing while the new ICTV champ Janus faced World Champion Danny. Janus didn't even write for our match.

Uh-huh. One pinfall loss to Alan Clark One tag loss (w/ Jimmy Liston) vs Flesher and Grand Slam (FLesher pinned Liston) One strap match loss to Janus One pinfall loss to Kibagami One ladder match loss to Janus One tag loss (w/Jamie Drazon) vs Flesher and Landon (Flesher pinned me. With my own fucking move, the bastard ) One pinfall loss to Jonny Dangerous And a WHOLE LOT of wins via no-show.

10,870-ish, and done (barring edits). Sorry Mike.

Thoth just wants me.

I nominate Xero. Oh and Dace - I'm going to print out my match 1,000 time, drive down to Reading, find where you live and paste it all over the walls of your halls. Just to make you SUFFER~!

To clear up WC's question - no, I am not a ringer. And to make Spike feel better, I've only known Sarah's true identity for a few weeks. And to make him feel even better, I didn't even know who 'Sarah' was at first. However, I am Dace's father. He only found out after I'd cut his hand off and offered to rule the Universe with him. That's why he's absent from the fed you see, as learning how to type with a dodgy prosthetic welded to your body by a mobile trash can that speaks in Morse code can take a little while. Hope this helps.

Hey, I think he sounds fucking great. Then again, the moment La Res stopped being French and started being Canadian they were great too (but I have a decent reason for hating the French - namely, the history of wars with them rather than a minor tiff over invading another country).

MAIN EVENT WORLD TITLE BOUT STREET FIGHT Toxxic© vs Annie Eclectic ~I'm in fucking ENGLAND. If I can't retain the damn thing here, I don't deserve it. HELL IN A CELL "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens vs The Suicide King ~The feel of the feud, plus the WWE-influenced nature of the writers, leads me to believe that Mark will take this one and set it to rest. SINGLES MATCH Manson vs Nathaniel Kibagami ~If Kibs shows with his full force, he'll take it. If they double no-show after all the effort I went to setting this up, I will fly to America, track them down and anally violate both of them with anything that comes to hand. TAG TEAM MATCH Todd Cortez & ??? vs Sean Davis & ??? ~My ??? is harder than your ??? ICTV TITLE BOUT ROYAL BEATING MATCH "The Icon" Max King© vs Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix ~Maddix can take this writing-wise, but I don't know if he might job it to head after the World Title. WOMEN'S TITLE SINGLES MATCH Kelly Connelly© vs Megan Skye ~Whoever of Maddix and Max has more time. SINGLES MATCH Andrea Montgomery vs David Cross ~Cross is good, but Drea is Drea. So Drea. CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins© vs Austin Sly ~This should be very close indeed. But I doubt Sly will show (and I know he's got other shit going on at the moment anyway), so stable pride and common sense collide to give a prediction of Spike. HARDCORE TITLE MATCH Carnage© vs Christian Fury ~Ohh... I like Carnage, but I think Fury could take this.

Yeah, but as a United fan your opinion hardly counts. But then again you lost 2-0 to PORTSMOUTH, so maybe I should go easy. ...naaaaah. Oh, and Grand Slam - absolutely no-one gives a shit about baseball over here. Just an SWF cap will probably do it. Edit to add: Note for Americans and other aliens - Manchester United are similar to what I understand the New York Yankees to be. Annoyingly good at what they do, stinking rich, loved by loads of people who aren't from Manchester (or even Britain), and hated by everyone else in the country. There's no middle ground with Man U - you either love 'em or hate 'em

happy Birthday Raynor! And what is this, something like the fourth SWF'er in a row to have a birthday? IL, Supes, Drea and now Raynor?

Two points: first, it's the Manchester Evening News Arena. That's why it's so frustrating when JR says 'Fans in Great Britain! The WWE will be coming to the Manchester Evening News Arena in Manchester!' Secondly, as a general note: If you are trying to get face pops, do NOT wear a Manchester United shirt. Anyone wearing a Man U shirt in Manchester gets BOOED. Wear a Manchester City shirt and all will be fine.

Scene: A hotel room in Toronto, Ontario Time: Just after Lockdown Toxxic collapses back on his hotel bed, exhausted. Beating Manson hadn’t been easy, and if it hadn’t been for that video going off... The video. Kibagami, again. It sounded like the sort of stunt he’d pull, but then again... I haven’t seen him in all this time. No-one has, except the guys in the production truck and I don’t know if I can trust them. It doesn’t feel like him to wait for this long without showing himself, without attacking me. Irritably, the Straight-Edge Sensation pulls his black holdall towards him and reaches into it for some paracetamol. He pulls the packet out and goes so far as to open it - then stops. For some reason, the thoughts of Kibagami going round in his head make him unwilling to resort to painkillers tonight. So let’s suppose it isn’t Kibagami. Who is it? Annie? I doubt it, doesn’t seem like her style and the vids have been turning up for longer than she’s had an issue with me. Cortez? Maybe, but he seems more likely to try and kick my head off than play mind games. I’d have said maybe Mike, but... Toxxic stops short. A memory surfaces, of a masked man running down when he and Sean were attacking Todd Cortez at ringside during Spike’s Cruiserweight Title match with Ryan Dustin. The masked man had used the Code Red, and at the time Toxxic had assumed that it was simply Mike Van Siclen having one last hurrah before he skulked off to dazzle the locals with his teeth in Shitsville, Idaho or wherever he’d crawled to in his retirement. But if that was Mike, and he was planning on making another appearance... ...it could be. Mike might not be as gone as he should be. It’s not like the SWF doesn’t employ masked weirdos without enquiring into their background, and besides, it’s not unheard of for wrestlers to come back under a mask. I know Birdman seemed awfully familiar, for one. Mike could slip in, get away with using his favourite moves by dedicating them to ‘the memory of Mike Van Siclen’ or some such bollocks, and try and get close enough to me to get revenge... and screw with my head in the process. A muffled beeping from his bag alerts the Straight-Edge Sensation to the fact that he has a message, and he plunges his hand into the holdall in search of his mobile phone. However, the first thing it encounters is a piece of paper, and Toxxic doesn’t remember putting any pieces of paper in his bad. Curiously, the World Champion draws it out and unfolds it. His eyes first widen, then narrow suspiciously as he reads a message in unfamiliar handwriting. ‘There is a coffee shop just off Toronto’s main square. Go there tomorrow morning at 10am and wait for me. Come alone - I will know if you bring a friend, no matter how well they hide.’ “Hey, what’s that?” Jet asks, emerging from the bathroom wrapped in a towel. “Someone’s playing silly buggers,” Toxxic tells her, screwing the paper up and throwing it neatly into the room’s wastepaper bin. “And tomorrow morning I’m going to find out who, and why.” ________________________________________________ Scene: A coffee shop in Toronto Time: Just after 10am Toxxic looks down at the crumpled piece of paper he rescued from the bin that morning. This is a coffee shop, certainly, but who’s to say it’s the one mentioned? He went into the first one he saw assuming it was the only one fitting the description, but you never know, there could be another. In fact, Toxxic realises, he’s been so concerned with whether he’s in the right place or not that he hasn’t been thinking about who he’s here to meet. Van Siclen or Cortez seems unlikely, unless they have a hankering to be detained in Canada on an assault charge. An ex-girlfriend is pretty much out of the question, unless one of them has emigrated since he’s been away from Nottingham. Whoever it is, they must have had access to the backstage area of the Air Canada Centre and been able to slip into his room undetected... so that at least rules Aecas out, Toxxic thinks with a wry smile as the mental image of the seven-footer with the black-and-white painted face attempting to sneak unnoticed past security flashes into his head. The notion so amuses him that it takes a second for him to realise that someone has sat down opposite. “Sorry, I’m waiting for someone,” Toxxic tells him, throwing the man a cursory glance. “Not anymore, you’re not,” a soft voice replies. The accent isn’t Canadian but the voice is vaguely - very vaguely - familiar, and Toxxic turns to see who has spoken. For a moment he stares blankly at the unremarkable face looking into his; then realisation dawns. “Well... I certainly wasn’t expecting you,” Toxxic says, setting his coffee down. The man smiles, a movement of the lips that never reaches the tired-looking eyes. “No-one ever does.”

That was ripped from Winnie-The-Pooh, i think. No, i'm serious.

Word. Give the WWF their money and help them save the planet, God knows it needs it.

Happy Birthday to THE craziest, weirdest and possibly hairiest (as in, has the longest hair) person in the SWF. BORT!

Mistress Sarah.

You know, Sarah, assuming that's you in your avatar, and I can vouch for that being me in mine... do you think that's Spike in his? *ducks* Just kidding, Spike...

Hippy pappy, birthithdath, thuftdth, bifirthday.

Dude, ouch. I might show just in spite of you now, man. Good. It'd be great if you did. But let's face it, the last time you showed a competitive match was two characters ago when Insane Luchador beat David Blazenwing. And even that's stretching 'competitive' a bit... Go IL. Prove me wrong. Please?