Toxxic

I'll catch you Flesher! Just you wait! (Y) for the return of the Holt Report

What? Duran has a mother!? Nice promo, and I for one am intrigued to see where it's leading. Why did Duran allow Gus to tag along if he didn't want him inside? Who was the wrong number? Why did Duran leave so quickly? Why did Gus's van break down? Why did Duran offer Gus a lift? And who WAS that masked man, anyway?

*puts on parachute pants* *touches Landon* *gets sued*

4,976, and we're just starting to get into it properly. Kibs, you know I said I was long-winded on PPV? Well, this is shaping up to continue the trend.

The screen shows Kibagami and Toxxic, both down on the mat after Kibagami delivered the Dangerous Backdrop in the six-man tag match on Smarkdown. Each man slowly starts to crawl towards his corner as in the background, Sexton Hardcastle makes his count. As the footage plays, Toxxic’s distinctive British accent does a voice-over of sorts. “The referee’s ten-count. It’s a long time.” The footage changes, and it now shows Kibagami reaching up to tag in Dace Night, and Toxxic tagging in Tom Flesher. “We’ve both felt it. Different to your basic one-two-three, different to pushing your opponent down and keeping them there. You have to hurt him so badly he cannot stand.” The screen cuts to moments after Toxxic won his first SWF Title - the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship, won at the expense of Aecas at From The Fire. The Straight-Edge Sensation is backing up the ramp, belt slung over his shoulder, bloody and exhausted and looking back at the ring with a mixture of pride and regret. It was the last night the fans would ever cheer for him. “I’ve said before that I don’t enjoy hurting people, I just enjoy winning. I won’t enjoy hurting you on Sunday, Nathaniel... but I will enjoy beating you.” The match is Toxxic vs Blazenwing. David sets up the Full Effect and lashes his boot out at Toxxic’s jaw - but the straight-edger catches it. And one side of his mouth quirks up in a humourless grin. “No - I need to beat you.” The screen shows the Last Man Standing match from Battleground. Nathaniel Kibagami punches Zenon in the head, and the interim Commissioner goes down... and stays down. “We all know you can do it, Kibagami. But can you do it to me? Sure, you’ve got moves that can keep me down-” [The shot cuts to a still frame of the moment Kibagami dropped Toxxic on his head with the Demonstar Driver in their second meeting] “-but first you’ve got to catch me.” The footage from Genesis IV plays, of Edwin MacPhisto delivering the Air MacPhisto to Nathaniel Kibagami. “I’m 11 years younger than you, so that’s eleven years’ less abuse.” The screen shows the Southern Lights Bomb from Va’aiga, and the unnatural angle of Kibagami’s neck on impact. “Then there’s the two broken necks, as well. You see Nathaniel, I keep myself in shape...” More footage from Genesis IV - this time, Silent sitting up at the count of six after a MacPhisto enziguiri. “...I’ve never ravaged my body with the painkillers, the anabolics, the drugs. Even if you’ve jacked them in, I know for a fact you’re still on the cigarettes. After fifteen minutes-” The screen shows Toxxic ducking the springboard gamengiri in the corner. “-twenty minutes-” Toxxic evades the Fall From Grace. “-twenty-five minutes-” The footage shows Kibagami Irish-whipping Toxxic into the turnbuckles, only for the rookie to vault upwards and then backwards with the Role Reversal. “-when your neck is screaming and your legs are burning, when you’re trying to suck in air but all you’re breathing is the black shit that coats your lungs - will you still be able to get up? Will you still be able to carry on? I won’t make mistakes this time...” The screen shows the moment that Toxxic attempted a hurricanrana on the River Dragon, and slows down to a freeze frame as Kibagami traps the straight-edger’s arms behind his back, ready for the Demonstar. “...I can afford to wait you out. If you think you’ve heard the last of me...” Footage plays from Toxxic and Kibagami’s first meeting - the straight-edger has Kibagami on his shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry position, then spins him off and sits out, hooking the leg on the way down. Kibagami’s head crunches into the canvas with the Caffeine Bomb- “Prepare To Be Proved Wrong.” Suddenly, Bad Religion’s ‘Sinister Rouge’ kicks in as moments from each man’s careers flash up on the screen in quick succession. -Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table with the Toxxic Shock Syndrome... -Kibagami getting up from the Extinction Level Event onto a chair, and a close-up of Alex Zenon’s shocked expression... -Toxxic shoving half a lightube between Aecas’ teeth and delivering the infamous Glass Jawbreaker... -Kibagami burying an elbow in Janus’ chest with the Last Rites... -Toxxic backflipping through the air to land the Underkill across Dace Night’s throat... -Kibagami countering a Todd Cortez hurricanrana with the Demonstar Driver... -Toxxic posing on the turnbuckles with the Hardcore Gamers and ICTV belts... -Kibagami spiralling downwards to hit the Year of the Dragon on Danny Williams... -Toxxic dropping Jake Helmsley through an open chair with the Caffeine Bomb... -An exhausted Nathanial Kibagami triumphantly raising the SWF World Heavyweight Title above his head... -Toxxic attacking Kibagami with a pipe after his loss to Williams in the rematch... -Kibagami throwing Toxxic through the glass doors of the General Motors Place... The images flash by, faster and faster, until the song comes to its explosive end and the screen is dark for a moment. Then... 13th HOUR TOXXIC The screen shows Toxxic taking Insane Luchador off the ladder and through a table with the Dangerlust. NATHANIEL KIBAGAMI The moment from Genesis IV when Silent delivered the Demonstar Driver from the second rope, ending Edwin MacPhisto’s career. LAST MAN STANDING...

Just wondering if anyone knows if he's even still wrestling. I quite liked him towards the end of his Velocity tenure.

*wonders when Card is actually going to WRESTLE again*

Dustin - relax. Your chance will come. Besides, Ced is rusty but if you knock him off you'll probably be in good standing for a Cruiserwieght shot.

*wonders if this can help his quest to become World Champ, since it's virtually impossible to STOP me promo-ing* *realises that if this were true, Rando would have won the damn thing five times by now*

*is sure that Sacred was World Champion at least once*

Dub-Cee, if you can put asses in seats for the next PPV despite being retired... I will fall down and worship you as the GOD of the Midcard. In the meantime I have the nasty feeling that I get the role of Justin Credible in the Brit-Clique.

I'm sorry, I didn't understand a word of that. Yeah, sorry, it must be my Nottingham accent coming through in my typing. [Toxx is actually from Suffolk, but not even British people seem to know where that is. Except Landon]

Yeah, cos I need MORE comparisons to Randy Orton... I'll have you know I'm over, thank you very much! *goes off to sulk until Aecas throws Yorkshire puddings at him*

DAMN RIGHT! Kaientai were AWESOME! Oh, and Farooq's "Damn!"

"Poopyhead!?" *would plot IL's destruction if it hadn't just become clear that IL runs the fed*

Luchador - you'd better be selling the Dangerlust off a ladder and through a table like fucking DEATH, man. Just to make up for Rando's no-sell of the Rage Unleashed...

MAIN EVENT SIX-MAN MADNESS~! Toxxic, Tom Flesher, and Ace Lezaire vs. Nathanial Kibagami, Dace Night, and Ryan Dustin ~One word: Clusterfuck ~SD5 predicts me pinning Kibs after the Toxxic Shock Syndrome IMMEDIATE TITLE SHOT CASH-IN OF DOOM FOR THE ICTV TITLE~! Janus vs. Johnny Dangerous ~I want Janus to win, then beat Danny at the PPV, then set off on a monster two-title run. That I will end (Y) ~Jonny does well first off, but Janus hits the RAGE UNLEASHED~! for the win MYSTERIOUS MAN CONTINUES TRAIL OF DEATH… OR DOES HE~!? “Deathwish” Danny Williams vs. Masked Man ~Gotta back Danny. He beat Graps when he was, well, Graps... I'm not seeing TMM having the same ring presence. FOUR-WAY ELIMINATION NO-DQ WACKINESS FOR THE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE NO. 1 CONTENDERSHIP~! Crow vs. “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins vs. Jimmy “The Demon” Liston vs. Todd Cortez ~It's between Crow or Todd, really... I'll say Crow. ~This goes on INSANELY long, only for Todd to pin Spike after he bumps from a fucking knife-edge chop... FOLLOW-UP FRAY~! David Blazenwing vs. Insane Luchadore ~Blazenwing. Come on man, don't make me predict wrongly three times in a row. ~Blazenwing gets it done with the Tri-Attack OPENING ONSLAUGHT~! Tryst vs. Munich ~Munich, since Tryst is AWOL

IMPORTANT NOTE - I updated my stats a week or so ago, so they won't be the same from when Kibagami last faced me.

To quote him more or less directly, i believe Jonny's exact comment was not that he didn't want the title shot (because he was angling for an ICTV shot at me which I was going to take him up on before I ended up gunning for Kibs and jobbing to Janus), but that he didn't think they MEANT anything since he won a USJL Title shot back in March (no-show vs Spike Jenkins, if I recall) and never got it. I'm not trying to argue with you Z, but I THINK that's what he actually meant. Even if he might have been a little grumpy in stating it. Dace - I apologise for the WWE comedy hardcore, but since Toxxic isn't meant to actually LIKE hardcore I try and do weird things that still work rather than the same old lightube fests. And yeah, I did squash IL a bit - but then again if I'd been less than 99% sure he wouldn't show maybe I'd have tried to write a more balanced match. As it was I was virtually sure he wouldn't, so could afford to do a rush job and get myself some free time. Sorry, IL. But you laughed after a chairshot, so I didn't bury you.

If Wildchild never returns, it will be a great shame. I'm sorry if the Cruiser title didn't get the respect you think it deserves, but I guess there's just too many titles wandering around. And Wild and Dangerous certainly did have great chemistry.

I have no real preference between Jindrak and Bradshaw. However Teddy Long is REALLY starting to grate. He was damn good working with Rodney Mack, Mark Henry, Jazz et al. He's not worth shit working with Jindrak because he tries far too hard and doesn't shut up... ever. Jindrak is at least starting to get something down in the ring. The work's not great, but the little things are there - cockily setting someone up for the dropkick, checking in a mirror after someone's hit him in the face, the press-ups/ab crucnches/kip up he does after the dropkick... he at least has SOME ring presence now, which is more than can be said for Garrison Cade.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you the one singing the praises of SmackDown only a couple of days ago, saying it was by far the better-written show? I mean, I know I make a persuasive argument, but damn... As for this - i SEVERELY doubt that there are any old-time WCW fans out there who will be persuaded to tune into WWE that don't already watch, or who have watched and then given up on it. For a lot of people if you want to watch professional wrestling on TV these days, you watch WWE. The addition of one 40 year-old is unlikely to break into a previously-untapped market. So the reasoning is; 'this show sucks, let's not waste anyone on it' as opposed to 'this shows sucks, let's start to try and make it better'? I don't care what capacity they have him in, if Sting is gonna go anywhere it HAS to be SmackDown. Booker, Eddie, Taker (please God no), RVD, Cena, whoever - maybe he could have more enjoyable matches on Raw, but someone needs to do SOMETHING about SD!, and fast. Besides, **** matches aren't what you're going to get out of Sting - he's about the gimmick.

MAIN EVENT TAG TEAM MATCH Janus/Landon Maddix vs. Danny Williams/Alan Clark BEST-OF-FIVE SERIES UWF-i POINTS SYSTEM MATCH Dace Night (2) vs. Tom Flesher (1) ENDLESS FOUR CORNERS MATCH The Masked Man vs. Ryan Dustin vs. Tryst vs. Jimmy Liston RETURN SINGLES MATCH Munich vs. David Blazenwing TRIPLE THREAT FOR THE #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE ICTV TITLE Ace Lezaire vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Johnny Dangerous SINGLES MATCH John Duran vs. Todd Cortez HARDCORE MATCH Toxxic vs. Insane Luchadore SINGLES MATCH Jacob Helmsley vs. Austin Sly

Superstar's wrestler before The Masked Man was Charlie "Grappler" Matthews, the man who defeated Va'aiga for the World Heavyweight Title at From The Fire, successfully defended it against Landon Maddix between PPVs then lost to John Duran at Battleground. So no, not a jobber.

You mean they have? Anyway, with regard to Hirohito - no, I wasn't aware that was the Emperor's name in WWII, and now that's been explained everything FINALLY makes sense. Well, all apart from why the HELL the WWE thought that this could POSSIBLY go down at all well in Japan. Can their xenophobia get any more blatant?