Toxxic

MAIN EVENT TRIPLE THREAT TAG TEAM MATCH FOR THE WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES Janus & Aecas© vs Tom Flesher & Ann Onita vs Mike Van Siclen & Todd Cortez Danny Williams vs John Duran Nathaniel Kibagami vs Toxxic CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH Alan Clark© vs Johnny Dangerous HARDCORE MATCH Crow vs Dace Night USJL TITLE MATCH Stryke© vs Coy West vs Todd Royal BONUS MATCH FOR AN SWF CONTRACT “La Sensation Senegalaise” Said vs “El Hombre Sin Cara” Maskarade Austin Sly vs Insane Luchadore Newbie versus veteran AMAZING BATTEL!!! Landon Maddix vs Tryst With the Unnamed in his corner, does Maddix stand a chance of losing to Tryst?

Kilts are big in hip hop, urban fashion now, AS. And in cyber-goth too.

Regal called Dinsmore a "window-licker"!? That's... well, it's not funny, but coming from Regal it would be. If you get me. I hate his portrayal of all Englishmen as upperclass twats, but the voice he uses for it is brilliant for such phrases.

Yeah, but last week we did get a clasic interview. Bischoff(!) interviewing Paul E and Madusa. When Bischoff was talking to the camera Paul E was doing a stupid face and mimicking him behind his back, and when Bischoff was talking to Paul E Madusa kept shoving him. Gold.

MAIN EVENT TRIPLE THREAT TAG TEAM MATCH FOR THE WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES Janus & Aecas© vs Tom Flesher & Ann Onita vs Mike Van Siclen & Todd Cortez ~Trinity. Even though that damn Aussie took my title... Danny Williams vs John Duran ~Dan-e! Dan-e! Nathaniel Kibagami vs Toxxic ~If you have ANY doubt that Kibs is gonna kick my arse after losing to Clark - lose them. I'm toast. CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH Alan Clark© vs Johnny Dangerous ~Hmmm.... Clark's on something of a roll, but JD hasn't been doing too badly. I say the booking committee gives us a retention of the title, allowing Maddix to challenge for it. HARDCORE MATCH Crow vs Dace Night ~Dace all the way. Brit pride, man! USJL TITLE MATCH Stryke© vs Coy West vs Todd Royal Um... er... Stryke! BONUS MATCH FOR AN SWF CONTRACT “La Sensation Senegalaise” Said vs “El Hombre Sin Cara” Maskarade ~Let's go with the French gangsta Austin Sly vs Insane Luchadore Newbie versus veteran AMAZING BATTEL!!! ~I'm gonna back Sly again. Landon Maddix vs Tryst With the Unnamed in his corner, does Maddix stand a chance of losing to Tryst? ~Never seen Tryst's work, but I like Maddix so I'm going with him. Although Tryst thinks he comes from Nottingham... but I know Maddix comes from East Anglia. So go Maddix.

I want everyone to boo Todd Cortex until he realises that I'M THE SWF'S STRAIGHT-EDGER, DAMMIT! Oh, and Kibs is so gonna beat me and ruin my "only once a month" loss record. And i mark out for Va'aiga's graphix skillz.

Rando, please PM me Kibs' stats!

I WANT KIB'S NEW STATS NOW. So either Kibs or Clark, please PM them to me - cheers!

OK - here's mine. I can only assume that the fact that I cheated the stip hurt me in addition to anything else, but I was facing fucking Janus. The guy's 150lb heavier than me and I didn't see any way I could legitamately drag him in order to win. “Greetings Citizens, and welcome back to STOOOOOORRRRRRMMMMM!!” Comet gushes as the live feed returns. “We’ve seen some great matches so far this evening and the main event of Danny Williams vs Charlie Matthews is going to be amazing, but first we have a match for the ICTV Title!” “Featuring the man who beat Danny Williams on Smarkdown - Toxxic!” Riley butts in. “It should be Toxxic in the main event, Comet, and it should be for the World Title!” “Well technically it was Liston who actually pinned Danny Williams last show,” Comet points out. “Are you suggesting the Demon should be facing Grappler tonight?” “Well, I’m not sure I’d go that far...” Riley concedes. “Ex-actly, Robert,” Comet says, turning back to the camera. “Anyway, tonight Citizen Toxxic had better not be thinking about the main event, because he’s going to have more than enough to worry about with his challenger - the Anti-Heel Machine, Terrence Bailey!” As if the production crew are listening to Comet’s words the lights in the Joe Louis Arena suddenly dim. The crowd rise to their feet as red lights start to flash in synch with an ominous, buzzing alarm. Indistinct red letters appear on the Smarktron - letters that finally resolve into: [sTATUS: RELEASED!] The Joe Louis Arena ERUPTS as the chorus of Killswitch Engage’s ‘As Darkness Falls’ echoes out over the arena. Two spotlights swing around the crowd as if searching, and the familiar figure of the Anti-Heel Machine appears at the top of the ramp and throws his arms into the air! BOOOM!! The sound of cheering is momentarily lost amidst the sound of a storm of black and white pyrotechnics that blast into the air, shrouding the stage before Terrence strides down the ramp. “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Strap Match for the Intercontinental-Television Title!” Funyon booms. “In order to win, either man must touch all four turnbuckles in turn! Introducing first, the challenger; from Sydney, Australia; weighing 360lbs; he is one-half of the SWF Tag Team Champions... TERRRRR-EENNCCEEE.... BAAAAAAAAAYYYYY-LLLLLLEEEEEEYYYYYY!!!” Terrence reaches the ring and takes off his trenchcoat, leaving it on the ring steps before rolling under the bottom rope and rising back to his feet again. The Anti-Heel Machine turns to stare back at the entrance ramp, eyes green and calm but hands firmly gripping the top rope. “What a behemoth this man is!” Comet exclaims as Terrence waits. “A true athlete even at that size, Terrence Bailey has to be one of the most feared competitors in the SWF!” “Yes, but he’s feared for all the wrong reasons, Comet!” Riley responds. “Besides, these days it seems that he can’t win without letting out... the other guy.” “I think that is a gross slur on both Citizen Bailey’s self-control and the psychiatric services offered in this country!” Comet retorts. “I guarantee you Robert - Citizen Bailey will be able to win this match without allowing Janus to surface!” Demonstrating another eerie understanding between commentary and production the words “Prepare To Be Proved Wrong” flash up on the blacked-out Smarktron as the crunching guitars of Lostprophets’ ‘We Still Kill The Old Way’ kicks in. The screen cuts to a shot of Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table with the Toxxic Shock Syndrome, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the... GO! BOOOM!! ...blast of red pyro that heralds the arrival of the SWF’s premier straight-edger! As the smoke clears a figure appears at the top of the ramp... but it isn’t Toxxic. The figure raises a title belt in each hand and steps forward onto the entrance ramp, flicks her red-and-black dreadlocks back over her shoulder and glances back at the curtain that masks the entrance to the backstage area. A second later it is pushed aside, and Toxxic makes his way out into the hostile environment of the Joe Louis Arena! “And his opponent!” Funyon booms, reading from the card in front of him. “Accompanied to the ring by ‘Jet’; from Nottingham, England; weighing 218lbs, he is the SWF Hardcore-Gamers AND Intercontinental-Television Champion... TOXXX-XXXIIIC!!” With Jet leading the way, still carrying the ICTV belt but with the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship now slung over one shoulder, Toxxic makes his way down to the ring. The rookie’s eyes are focused intently on Terrence - and the Anti-Heel machine stares straight back. “Why Comet, I do believe you’re at a loss for words!” Riley chortles. “Wha- nonsense!” The superhero responds. “But there can be no doubt, Robert - that IS the same girl who mugged a Girl Scout for her uniform on Lockdown and then kissed Toxxic, AND who drove him and Liston to safety on Smarkdown! Now, the question is: who is she, and why has she thrown her lot in with this rookie?” “The question is; who cares about a girl when we’re about to see a blatant miscarriage of justice?” Riley replies. “Toxxic was right; this match isn’t a wrestling match, and no-one should have to be attached to that psycho! But then again, in a match which is going to be about speed and agility he should have Janus’ number...” “It’s Terrence at the moment, Robert,” Comet says as Toxxic rolls under the bottom rope, followed into the ring by Jet who hands the ICTV belt over to referee Matthew Kivell. “Somehow I don’t think Janus would be content to wait for the bell. Besides, Toxxic’s speed and agility are both going to be considerably constrained by THAT!” Kivell has pulled out the 12-foot long leather strap: Toxxic cracks his neck from side-to-side and looks dubiously at it, but a small smile plays over the features of the Anti-Heel Machine as he extends his huge left wrist. Kivell fastens the cuff on one end onto Bailey’s arm, then motions to Toxxic to allow himself to be similarly tethered. The Straight-Edge Sensation shows far more reluctance than his opponent, but finally allows it. Kivell stands back and motions for Jet to leave the ring, then signals for the bell. *DING-DING!* That faint smile still hanging around his mouth, Terrence extends his right hand in an apparent gesture of sportsmanship. Toxxic watches the hand cautiously, looks up into the face of the Anti-Heel Machine... and extends his own hand for a handshake, albeit a very brief one. “A surprising gesture from both men there,” Comet exclaims as Toxxic quickly backs away from his much larger opponent, making a couple of quick tugs on the strap as if to check that he really is tied to the Australian. “Terrence Bailey showing his true quality by shaking the hand of a man who severely hurt Aecas and mocked both Dace Night and Danny Williams. And Toxxic - well, I’m just surprised...” “Toxxic simply wants to keep the psycho happy,” is Riley’s opinion. “It’s bad enough he’s being forced to compete in this match at all; he also has to try and ensure he doesn’t get torn limb-from-limb!” The two men circle each other, waiting for the other to make the first move. After a few tense seconds Toxxic decides to do just that - and turns and runs for the turnbuckle behind him! The ICTV champion stretches out a hand... *WHAM!!* ...and Terrence steps back, yanks his left arm around and jerks Toxxic backwards off his feet and down to the mat! “TRI-NI-TY!” “TRI-NI-TY!” “TRI-NI-TY!” Toxxic clutches his left shoulder with his black-nailed right hand and glares up at the huge Australian, who raises a finger and wags it in a reproachful manner at the rookie, infuriating smile still in place. The Straight-Edge Sensation pushes himself up, brings the strap taut and pulls... grabs it with his other hand, leans into his efforts like a man in a tug-of-war and pulls some more... and finally gives up, having failed to budge Terrence one inch. “Citizen Bailey delivering a message to his opponent right from the start here,” Comet says as Terrence casually raises his right hand and runs it through his hair. “It is going to be HELL for Toxxic to shift the challenger at all!” “Which is what makes this encounter so unfair, Comet,” Riley answers. “Janus could walk right round this ring if he wanted to and tag all four buckles right now - in fact, that might be the most merciful way of doing this! It’d be a shame to see Toxxic seriously hurt due to a final burst of spite from Mark Stevens.” “For the last time Robert, it’s Citizen Bailey in there at the moment,” Comet replies tiredly. “And let’s just see what happens here. I don’t doubt that you’re right about the outcome, for once... but let’s just see.” Clearly realising that he’s never going to be able to overpower the Anti-Heel Machine Toxxic starts to cautiously advance towards his massive adversary. Terrence sets himself, ready for any attack - and as the Australian broadens his vertical base Toxxic dives forward and scampers through his legs! Momentarily outmanoeuvred Terrence gropes at thin air and Toxxic scrambles upright behind him to tag the first turnbuckle before dashing off at right-angles. Terrence is stepping over his own arm in order to avoid getting tangled up and his grab misses the ducking ICTV champion - who runs on to tag a second buckle! Toxxic is almost at the full length of the strap now from the floundering Terrence, and the Straight-Edge Sensation makes a run for the third buckle... only to be brought up short again as Terrence snaps the leather taut once more. This time Toxxic manages to avoid losing his footing, but as Terrence starts to bring the strap in hand-over-hand the Brit has no chance of resisting. The Anti-Heel Machine sets himself for one last massive heave that will drag the reluctant straight-edger within reach of a right-handed Knuckle Bomb - only for Toxxic to change his tactics at the last moment and come running in, the lack of resistance causing Terrence to stumble backwards and get nailed with a running dropkick that knocks him into the corner! The huge Australian is given no chance to rest as Toxxic comes running at him again, jumping into the air in order to deliver a running splash- “Gheerrrk!” -only for Terrence to reach out almost casually with his right hand and catch Toxxic by the neck! Striding out of the corner the Anti-Heel Machine looks around at the cheering Detroit fans... *WHAM!!* ...and plants Toxxic in the middle of the ring with a chokeslam! “Is this fair, Comet?” Bobby Riley asks. “Is it fair to tether a champion of Toxxic’s calibre to a man who can lift him with one hand?” “I’m not sure about fair exactly, Robert,” Comet muses. “It certainly is amusing though.” Terrence leans down to inspect the writhing Toxxic and appears to be satisfied with the result because the massive Antipodean turns and strides off towards a turnbuckle. Reaching it he slaps the top casually, then makes off towards another. The Detroit fans start to rally behind the Anti-Heel Machine as he reaches the second turnbuckle and calmly tags that one too. As Jet looks on in horror at ringside Terrence turns and strides diagonally across the ring, making for his third target - but as he steps over the fallen Toxxic and continues on his way the champion rises back to his feet! Terrence is unaware of Toxxic’s sudden revival and takes another step... then his left leg collapses under him, and all 7’2’’ of the Anti-Heel Machine topples backwards! *THUD!!* “He just dropkicked Citizen Bailey’s left knee out from under him!” Comet exclaims as Toxxic pushes himself up again, rubbing his throat and his back. “The champion isn’t giving in without a fight!” Terrence is stirring on the canvas, but Toxxic takes advantage of his opponent’s momentary incapacitation and jumps into action, tagging one turnbuckle... a second... Toxxic turns and makes for the third... but again he is brought up short by Terrence as the Australian forcibly applies the brakes. Looking back at his massive opponent Toxxic sees that Terrence is only on one knee... *SMACK!!* ...and dives in, delivering a massive superkick to the jaw! “Hah! Eat that, Janus!” Riley yells as Terrence slumps sideways, putting out one hand to catch himself. “He might not be able to kick you in the head when you’re standing up, but he can when you’re kneeling!” Grinning lopsidedly Toxxic turns and runs back towards the elusive third turnbuckle, but is halted again by the leather strap. The arm that Terrence put out on the far side to break his fall was the left arm, so the other end of the strap is even further from the turnbuckle than before. Toxxic grinds his teeth and charges back towards the Anti-Heel Machine... *BAM!!* ...only to get FLATTENED by a left-handed Knuckle Bomb! “Citizen Bailey saw the incoming threat this time, and Citizen Toxxic paid for it!” Comet cries as Janus straightens up, one hand rubbing his jaw. “What can Terrence do now?” The answer; tag a turnbuckle. Terrence slaps the one nearest then turns away and heads towards another, but again he fails to notice Toxxic get back to his feet behind his back. Unsteadily, the defending champion closes on the Australian from behind. *CHING!!* Terrence’s eyes bulge and he falls to his knees in front of the second ringpost, both hands clutching his groin as his face contorts in pain. Toxxic then dropkicks Terrence in the back of his head, sending his black-and-white bonce bouncing off the second-rope turnbuckle! “What disgusting tactics by Toxxic!” Comet yells as the straight-edger picks himself up and then walks on Terrence in order to tag the buckle and start his own sequence of four off again. “Oh come off it Comet,” Riley retorts. “It’s no-disqualification! Besides, if you were in the ring with Terrence - see, I got it ‘right’ this time - wouldn’t you resort to every trick in the book?” “Errr... wrong again, Robert,” Comet replies, staring at the ring. “Then you’re a fool,” Riley sniffs, sitting back as Toxxic reaches another turnbuckle and tags it. “No, I mean you got the name wrong again,” Comet says, sitting back in his chair slightly. “Toxxic isn’t in the ring with Terrence anymore.” “You mean...?” Riley’s eyes focus on the monstrous form that is now pulling itself up on the ropes. “Yes, Robert,” Comet confirms. “Toxxic tried to use an underhanded tactic to take out the threat, and only succeeded in awakening a bigger one. Janus is paying Detroit a visit.” Sure enough, the eyes that glare at the Straight-Edge Sensation are no longer a clear, calm green but a disturbing fiery red. Unaware of the change Toxxic is trying to reach his third turnbuckle, diagonally across the ring from the newly-awakened Hell Machine. The rookie heaves and heaves on the strap until it finally gives enough for him to reach his target. Toxxic gleefully turns away, ready to end this match, only to find to his dismay that the reason the strap had gone slack was because Janus is charging across the ring at him! Unable to respond in time the ICTV champion is sandwiched against the turnbuckle by Janus’ immense weight, and as he starts to fall forwards the Hell Machine scoops him up and raises him overhead in a press slam. “Oh dear,” Comet says as Janus lets out a roar to match any produced by the Detroit crowd. “If Toxxic ever had any chance of winning, it’s gone now. In fact, I think he’s going to be lucky to survive this...” Grinning triumphantly, Janus turns on the spot in the centre of the ring before flexing his massive arms one final time and dropping Toxxic behind him - but the Straight-Edge Sensation lands on his feet! Ribs still burning from being crushed by his opponent mere moments earlier, Toxxic manages to fire off a basement dropkick to the back of the Hell Machine’s knee that knocks it from under the bigger man. Janus lands heavily on the knee and grimaces, and Toxxic bounces off the ropes behind him before grabbing a handful of black-and-white hair on the way past, flattening the Hell Machine’s face against the canvas with a facecrusher! Janus almost immediately pushes himself back up again - only to eat a running basement dropkick! “Well Comet, who do you want to win now?” Riley asks as Jet screams encouragement to the champion from ringside. “The arrogant-but-talented rookie or the part-time psychopath?” “I may have to get back to you on that one, Robert,” Comet replies. With Janus flat on his back Toxxic appears to be at a loss, so focused on bringing the big man down that he is momentarily unsure what to do. However, the champion makes his decision and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Tagging it for good measure Toxxic prepares to leap off and hit a high-flying move onto the prone Hell Machine... ...but Janus turns his head to look straight into the startled straight-edger’s eyes, and yanks on the strap with an evil smile! Toxxic is hauled off the top... *WHAM!!* ...and lands HARD right across the Australian’s raised knees! “TER-RENCE!” “TER-RENCE!” “TER-RENCE!” The Hell Machine rises slowly to his feet once more, but the crowd’s chants seem to be having a strange effect on the challenger. The Australian rubs his forehead in confusion as if realising for the first time who is actually in control of his body, and stares around blankly at the Detroit crowd. For a moment the red fires in his eyes seem to fade and Terrence “Janus” Bailey stands uncertain - but then they return, and with the same sadistic smile creeping over his face Janus takes a firm grip on the strap and sets off across the ring, pulling the champion after him on his injured ribs. “It looks like Citizen Janus might have this match wrapped up now,” Comet says as the Hell Machine slaps the first buckle, “and with it the ICTV Title. Toxxic got lucky with the first two members, but it appears that third time is the charm for the Unholy Trinity!” “Luck has nothing to do with it,” Riley argues. “Toxxic outwrestled Aecas and Dace Night, but he’s been forced into this encounter which has about as much to do with wrestling as the Gobbledegooker!” Unaware of Bobby Riley’s references to the failed gimmicks of another federation Janus starts to stride towards the second turnbuckle, but is halted by the feeling that his feet have been tied together. Looking down, the Hell Machine realises that the obstruction is not rope or even leather strap, but Toxxic’s arms wrapped around his shins. Before the Straight-Edge Sensation can apply any more leverage and possibly topple his opponent Janus reaches down and grabs his head, then simply hauls Toxxic up by his hair! The squirming ICTV champion is helpless to do anything as Janus lunges forward... *CRACK!!* ...and sends his skull smashing into Toxxic’s forehead! The Brit is knocked backwards off his feet and slumps down, back resting against the nearest ringpost. Janus, still smiling, grabs Toxxic by the neck before picking him bodily up again. “TER-RENCE!” “TER-RENCE!” “TER-RENCE!” Whether the Detroit fans have simply not realised who is in the ring or whether they are trying to encourage the gentler side of the Australian to re-emerge is unclear - however, either way all Janus does is stare around for a moment before snorting and returning his attention to the straight-edger. Toxxic’s eyes are vaguely unfocused and the Brit is clearly suffering from the abuse he has taken so far, but that of course means nothing to the Hell Machine. Grabbing Toxxic’s arm Janus whiplashes his body, propelling him with alarming speed towards the opposite turnbuckles. In order to allow his opponent to crash into the buckles Janus has to follow Toxxic across the ring, keeping the strap slack - but as he approaches the corner Toxxic vaults upwards, then comes flying back at the Hell Machine with a leg lariat! “Role Reversal!” Comet yells as Toxxic’s right leg crashes into Janus’ jaw. The impact is enough to knock the Australian off his feet and he lands back-first on the canvas with a resounding thud. Toxxic himself seems to be firing more on instinct than intellect but hits the ropes regardless... only for Janus to lunge back up to his feet with a MONSTROUS clothesline that causes the champion to backflip through the air and land facefirst on the mat. Janus pulls Toxxic back to his feet and whips the Brit into the ropes again before ducking his head - but Toxxic puts on the brakes, drives Janus’ face into his knee with a facecrusher and then falls backwards, spiking the Hell Machine down to the mat with a DDT. “Sobering Thought!” Comet calls as the top of Janus’ cranium impacts on the canvas. “That little move combo has given Toxxic the advantage in several situations - will it be enough now?” The superhero’s question is answered soon enough, as even after having his head drilled into the ring Janus is still unwilling to stay down. With an audible growl the Hell Machine starts to push himself up again, but as he starts to straighten Toxxic kicks him in the gut, doubling the big Australian over again. With a speed born of desperation Toxxic places Janus in a vertical headscissors... hooks the right arm up behind his back... hooks the left arm... “He’s going for the Toxxic Shock Syndrome, and Janus is in the middle of the ring!” Bobby Riley shouts. “If he hits this then it’s over - Toxxic will be able to reach all four corners from there!” ...but whether as Janus or as Terrence, Australia’s biggest export seems to delight in upsetting the over-excited Mr. Riley. Toxxic’s preparations come to naught as Janus simply flexes his mighty biceps, wrenching his arms free from the Straight-Edge Sensation’s grip. Taking a hold on the back of his opponent’s legs Janus straightens with Toxxic draped over his shoulders, before leaning forward again to whiplash the Brit back down! “High-angle spinebuster!” Comet cries as Toxxic’s head bounces off the canvas. “Citizen Janus might have won the match with that move!” Sure enough, the writhing Toxxic doesn’t appear to be in any state to stop the Hell Machine from taking his title. Turning away from the fallen straight-edger Janus makes for a turnbuckle - but is brought up short by what he sees. Having abandoned the Hardcore Gamer’s Title at ringside the girl known as Jet is climbing to the top buckle! Astonished, the Australian pauses - and Jet launches off the top rope, wrapping her legs around his neck in a hurricanrana! Ermmm... Still standing tall in the ring, Janus appears slightly surprised by the pretty girl hanging head-down by her legs from his shoulders. Curious, the Hell Machine looks down only to see two startled eyes staring back into his as Jet realises that attempting this sort of move on someone around 200lbs heavier than yourself is rarely wise. Especially if that person happens to be the psychotic monster known as Janus. Grinning, Janus places a hand on either of his assailant’s hips and raises her back into the air... *BAM!!* ...before PLANTING her onto the mat with a sit-out powerbomb! The Detroit crowd are uncertain whether to cheer or boo, the fact that Janus was defending himself against interference from someone supporting Toxxic being cancelled out by the fact that it was Janus, not Terrence... and that the girl herself is damn cute. Unconcerned by the mixed reaction, Janus stares down at Jet’s broken body with eyes that burn red - but suddenly a leather strap snakes around his throat and the Hell Machine’s air is cut off! “Yes!” Riley yells, punching a fist into the air. “You get him, Toxxic! Teach that Australian lout how to treat a woman!” “You’re claiming that you know how to treat a woman, Robert?” Comet asks in surprise. “Or were you referring to Toxxic’s current attempts to strangle his opponent?” “Research indicates that most women would prefer to be choked rather than powerbombed, Comet,” Riley replies, shrugging. “I’m only reporting scientific findings.” Fingers clawing at his throat, Janus struggles to breathe. However, Toxxic has a long length of strap right around the Australian’s throat, and both feet placed between his opponent’s shoulderblades to increase his leverage. Leaning back the straight-edger tries to garrotte his monstrous opponent, and for several seconds he seems to be succeeding in his aim as Janus’ thrashing grows wilder but weaker. Matthew Kivell shouts into Toxxic’s face, but in the no-DQ environment his powers are strictly limited. “Will Janus pass out?” Comet asks rhetorically. “It may be that Toxxic has hit on the only tactic that will work, dirty as it may be.” “Better smeg than dead,” Riley replies, totally confusing all members of the SWF audience who haven’t seen Red Dwarf. Sensing that his aim may be in sight Toxxic tries to tighten his grip, but abruptly Janus reaches back behind his head and grabs the leather. Huge hands gripping firmly the Unholy Trinity member starts to pull, slowly but inexorably releasing the pressure on his windpipe. Despite Toxxic’s best efforts his arms are pulled further forwards... until finally with a tremendous effort Janus raises the strap over the top of his head and releases it, causing the Straight-Edge Sensation to roll backwards! “He did it!” Comet exclaims unnecessarily. “Citizen Janus got out of Toxxic’s... oh...” But the SWF fans at home will never find out what it was of Toxxic’s that Janus escaped, because as the man from Sydney starts to push himself slowly upright again, one hand massaging his throat, the eyes that stare out from under his black-and-white hair are a clear green once more. Glancing around, Terrence Bailey takes in the scene and notably flinches as his eyes light upon the form of Jet who is being carefully removed from the ring by the timekeeper and Matthew Kivell. The Anti-Heel Machine grimaces ruefully but has no further time to contemplate on Janus’ actions because Toxxic rushes into the attack once more! “The champion is well and truly fired up now!” Comet calls as the straight-edger starts pummelling his huge opponent with right hands, even starting to drive Terrence back towards the corner. “From the way he reacted after Janus powerbombed that girl Jet we can only assume that he is attached to her in some way.” “Perhaps, but currently Toxxic is attached to Janus by a leather strap!” Riley answers. “I’m amazed that Janus didn’t pass out a few seconds ago!” “Maybe Janus did pass out, Robert,” Comet speculates as Toxxic ascends to the second buckle, pounding down on Terrence Bailey. The fury of his onslaught quickly wears off however, and grabbing his opponent Terrence throws him off. Toxxic lands rolling and comes to his feet again before charging his huge opponent once more, but this time Terrence moves aside with surprising quickness for one of his bulk, allowing Toxxic to slam chest-first into the turnbuckle... and as the rookie bounces backwards, clutching his ribs again, Terrence’s huge hand closes around his throat once more. “He’s going for the chokeslam again!” Comet calls as Terrence hoists Toxxic into the air. “DROP HIM!” “DROP HIM!” “DROP HIM!” But the Detroit faithful are to be unrewarded, as moments before an untimely plunge to the mat Toxxic sticks his fingers into Terrence’s eyes! The big man howls in pain, drops the Straight-Edge Sensation and claws at his face whilst Toxxic massages his throat in unconscious imitation of Terrence a minute earlier. However, as Terrence stumbles backwards, left hand extended to blindly ward off any attack, Toxxic gets an idea. The champion moves quickly and circles Terrence until the strap is wound firmly around the Anti-Heel Machine’s legs - then dropkicks the back of both Terrence’s knees, sending the big Australian toppling forwards! The full seven feet two inches of Terrence Bailey falls like a mighty oak - and comes to rest throat-and-shoulders across the top rope. Eyes still blurry, Terrence struggles but is unable to free his legs and get the leverage to push himself off, and seeing what might be his last chance Toxxic dives in. The ICTV Champion grabs the top rope with both hands and launches his legs upwards, threading one under and one over Terrence’s neck before clamping them shut in a triangle-style chokehold! “Another choke from Toxxic, this one utilising the top rope!” Comet says as Terrence starts to go blue in the face again. “I doubt if the Citizen Bailey has fully recovered his breath from the champion’s last attempt...” Terrence thrashes, but he’s held fast. Unable to free his lower limbs he’s draped over the top rope, his throat locked in place by Toxxic’s legs. Terrence desperately tries to pry the straight-edger’s grip loose, but Toxxic’s baggy trousers hinder his efforts and he has virtually no leverage. Gritting his teeth, Toxxic wills himself to hold on as he attempts to choke the life out of his giant opponent, doing his best to ignore Matthew Kivell’s protests. Terrence’s struggles get weaker and weaker until finally... *THUD!!* ...Toxxic releases his grip, and all three-hundred and sixty of the Anti-Heel Machine’s pounds slump to the mat, totally deadweight! “Come on Toxxic, you’re nearly home!” Riley shouts. “Just touch the damn turnbuckles!” Legs shaking from the amount of effort they’ve just expended, Toxxic wobbles over Terrence’s prone form and touches the turnbuckle beyond him. Slowly, the rookie stumbles along the side of the ring, using the ropes as support, and tags the second. Then Toxxic sets off diagonally across the ring, his legs starting to get stronger, and touches the third... but now comes the hard part. As Toxxic tries to reach the turnbuckle on the corner diagonally opposite Terrence he is brought up short - as he obviously feared he would be. Setting his feet, Toxxic attempts to pull the Australian’s body towards him, but to no avail. At ringside the recovering Jet raises her voice to try and motivate her man, but still Toxxic can’t get himself any more slack. And Terrence starts to move. “Merciful Zeus!” Comet blurts out as the Anti-Heel Machine starts to stir. “Terrence is still in this! All he has to do it NOT move towards Toxxic!” “Are we sure that’s still Terrence?” Riley quails nervously. The eyes that stare unsteadily across the ring at the hated British rookie are green - but very definitely annoyed. Toxxic stands his ground, trying to look like the last thing in the world that he wants is for Terrence to approach him, but the Anti-Heel Machine is taking no chances. Ponderously, breath still wheezing, Terrence gets up to one knee and starts to haul on the strap, tugging Toxxic further and further away from his elusive goal... “So close,” Riley sobs. “So close!” Despite all he can do, Toxxic can’t halt his jerking progress across the ring. Terrence is in no condition to chase him down, but he doesn’t need to when he can simply reel his prey in. Toxxic is less that five feet from violent destruction when he plunges a hand into one of his baggy side pockets... ...and pulls out a Stanley knife, quite possibly the same one he used on Aecas at From The Fire. Terrence freezes, wondering if the rookie is about to lunge for him, but Toxxic has other plans. *click-click-click* Sliding out the blade, Toxxic turns it onto the leather strap on his left wrist! The sharp edge cuts through the leather in a second, and the straight-edger turns and makes for home... Terrence lunges forward with a crude rugby tackle... *THUMP!!* ...but misses! And with one diving leap Toxxic slaps the last turnbuckle, then rolls out of the ring! *DING-DING!* “What’s happened?” Riley asks, peering out from behind his fingers. “Did he win?” “I... don’t know.” Comet admits. Matthew Kivell is conferring with Funyon, and finally the ring announcer raises the mic. “Ladies and gentlemen; the referee has informed me that while the rules state both men must be tied together at the start of the match, there is no rule that says they must be attached at the end.” The Detroit crowd starts to stir restlessly, sensing what’s coming next, but Funyon continues anyway. “As a result; here is your winner... and STILL Intercontinental-Television Champion... TOXXX-XXXIIIC!!” “BOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Detroit makes its feelings clear as the guitars of Lostprophets blast out over the PA of the Joe Louis Arena, but Toxxic evidently couldn’t care less. Grabbing both of his title belts from Kivell the British straight-edger makes his way up the ramp as quickly as he can whilst supporting Jet. In the ring, Terrence Bailey shakes his head and goes to speak with Matthew Kivell before apparently deciding against it as we FADE OUT

OK: Nice promo to start off with, and I'm still not quite sure who this person is who's coming in. It COULD be Tryst - but the reference to "clean" makes me think it could be Crow, and the reference to only Edwin makes me think it could even be Kibs... hell, I don't know enough history. Austin vs Jake: Good match, decent psychology to working on the shoulder even if it never went anywhere - but then again sometimes you have to abandon one line of attack if it's not working. The REF BUMP~ made an appearance, and Sly came over well as a sneaky cheating heel. Only on criticism - the big long blocks of text were slightly daunting to read - perhaps try breaking them up into smaller paragraphs? Johnny vs Aecas: some good commentary moments especially (and that's not a slur on the match - I love reading other people do Comet and Riley). A good match, although perhaps a little to focused on Johnny as the Face In Peril when Aecas is just as big a face and can take a hell of a lot more damage. But still, big pops to Johnny - in WWE-land this would have earned you a tag title shot... Stryke vs Edward James: Eddy at least has an excuse for no-showing this time, it being cranial damage... good match, but I wish just once that a triple impact match wouldn't be stacked against one person. Sacred/Spike had the "Roll The Joint" as the signature move, this had a powerbomb - why is it that the match that wins always has one of the other person's sig moves as the move in question? Dace vs IL: And Dace's squash wins the match. Gotta love the non-kayfabe comments from Riley and Comet on these occasions. HOLY SHIT! IT IS SILENT! Clark vs Silent: And Clark beats him! What the FUCK!? My only comment. MVS is back! Which is always good. House of Todd beat the Superior Ones! Just like I said. AWESOME match. ...And I lose the ICTV Title. Fuck. And Danny beats Grappler - go Deathwish!

I've tried typing stuff in, and all I get is the chicken coming to the camera and waving a finger at me. Whether i type anything in or not. Any tips?

Hey-hey! Do I detect a hint of sibling tension here? Nice switcharound of perspective too, what with Scott and then the Onita twins and all. I like. Should add an extra element to your tag match as well. But let's face it, Allison BLATANTLY digs Flesher. And if challenged on it, will probably cite Annie's shagging of Wilson as justification. EVIL-JAP-FOREIGNER-SISTER-HEEL-TURN~!

Christ boy, isn't one of me enough?

That is the ONLY way it could work. And it'd still be tasteless.

MAIN EVENT SINGLES MATCH, NON-TITLE Charlie "Grappler" Matthews© vs "Deathwish" Danny Williams SPECIAL GUEST COMMENTATOR: "The Notorious" John Duran ~Um... er... what the hell - Danny. Congrats, Graps - me and Liston knocked the ringrust off him, now you get the REAL version... ICTV TITLE BOUT STRAP MATCH Toxxic© vs Janus ~Janus had his match done yesterday, mine is hardly started and i have yet to figure out how a cruiser can feasibly beat a 7'2'' 360lb psycho when he can't move more than 12 feet away from him at any time - and it's not even a real wrestling match. So i'm thinking the Anti-Heel Machine has this one. TAG TEAM MATCH Ann "Ichiban" Onita/"The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs The House of Todd ~Tom's good, Annie's good, but I think the House of Todd gets the nod. MYSTICAL MYSTERY MAN MATCH SINGLES MATCH, NON-TITLE Alan Clark© vs ??? ~Mystical Mystery Man Match? I pick it to be Tryst, and I say he wins. HARDCORE MATCH Dace Night vs Insane Luchadore ~Coffin for Mr Rickmen, please. USJL TITLE BOUT TRIPLE IMPACT MATCH Stryke© vs Edward James ~If both write - Stryke. However, things are never certain. SINGLES MATCH Johnny Dangerous vs Aecas ~Brit pride says the Black Angel. SINGLES MATCH Jacob Helmsely vs Austin Sly ~Heel vs heel? Eh? Well, should be interesting to read either way. I'm gonna go with the outsider and say Sly. *awaits steel pipe shot*

Well, just putting in my comments on the Danny/Dace match. To my eyes, the first part had far too many exclamation marks, but that's more a problem with punctuation than the match. Regarding the match - Toxxic didn't cheat, which is bang on, but Liston didn't cheat anywhere near enough. I liked the whole "muscles" bit (and you got Toxxic's disgust for Willaim's roid-peaks spot-on) but it was kind of over-played, maybe? i thought the whole Power and Glory thing was done a bit too much as well, but maybe that's just me. Oh, and Toxxic DOESN'T wear lipstick. Eyeliner and nail varnish yes, but not lipstick. Meh, I can't really find much fault with the match. My guess would be that Danny did the first half, since that seemed less familiar with Toxxic's character, and Dace did the second (specifically because I tapped to the Juji-Gatame, which I put Dace in during our ICTV match not knowing it was a "legit immediate tap-out" move). If we'd lost to that match, i wouldn't have been that disappointed. My only thought would be that perhaps Dace using the Juji-gatame on me as a way to get the move over hurt him, since I don't recall it being in his movelist at all, and it could have come across as an attempt to make a point rather than remain true to the character. But that's just a guess.

Sweet Baby Jesus. That is one stip that I CERTAINLY didn't see coming. Now if this was the WWE, the fact that I am a small heel holding a title facing the righteously-angry larger face I would be a dead cert to win. As it is, throw SWF meritocracy and the Terrence/Janus thing into the mix and I am gonna have to write my arse off here. Oh, and James - I won all but one of the matches in my first month, and that was because all but one of my opponent's no-showed. I got the Hardcore Title shot through a no-show. My record caused me to be top of Zed's listings, which meant I got a title shot of my choice - so I got a shot at IL for the ICTV Title on the basis of four wins over no-shows. When it came to the ICTV match, IL no-showed that too. But then again, IL had won it on a no-show cos Graps was concentrating on the FTF main-event - and won it on a no-show. Just write, man, and don't worry. Most of my career would have been as successful if my match had consisted of: *Ding! Ding!* Roll-up! ONE! TWO! THREEEE! *Ding! Ding!*

Great to see the true heelish traditions being upheld.

Hey Rando... Jimmy Snuka wants a word with you.

My mistake. Although I'd question whether you should be legal... *runs in fear from weedwhacker*

I think that's like two of us to them. You can count me in too. And unlike Dace, I'm old enough to legally drink

WE HAVE A HEEL! Excellent, we always need more heels. Nice opening promo too - even if your character is a little Jeff Jarrett-esque (wanting to make it big in music but also a wrestler?). Like the tie-in with Crow too. Like others have said, you need to make it a little clearer who is speaking each time, but the dialogue was good and Sly comes across well as someone who thinks everyone should be interested in him and doesn't really care what others think.

The moonsault - well, IL says that NOTHING is too extreme for his character, and he does have his Leap of Faith balcony moonsault in his moves, so i went for it. As for the Eel - i KNOW it was dumb, but the moment I imagined Bobby Riley shouting "He's an eel! He'll turn on ya!" my mind was made up.

All those who still think O'Haire sucks in the ring never watched Velocity after he was dropped from SD! when Piper got fired. He had improved WILDLY, was starting to show some decent psychology and was really connecting with the fans. He could have been used well. He's as big and as menacing as Batista, with at least equal charisma and a better moveset. If they're going to push Batista O'Haire should have been there as well. Main eventer? No, but upper-midcard hoss who can work relatively well was well within his capabilities. I know the matches vs Eddie and Benoit sucked. I tell you, he improved shitloads since then.

Pepsi tastes like figurative ass. *drinks Coke* I second this.