Toxxic

You had an EVInsane Luchador LARIATOOOOO as well, but I decided not to mention that.

Hell, if I'd have known you'd be around I'd have put the Cruiserweight Title match on the card. OK, you have a match.

While both Va'aiga's and IL's matches were good, although somewhat no-sell heavy on both counts (), IL's nabbed it because it flowed a little better and had a better overall story. Va'aiga's match had some kickass spots, IL's seemed to be more of an actual match. Even little things like having King plug Frost Brand cigars, and then later have that cigar used to light the table. It was just more cohesive.

Joe's current character is hideous. "I want more money and guaranteed title shots, but I won't sign on the contract to get my more money until I actually win the title". Not only does that not make sense, but it could lead to Cornette influencing the outcome of Joe/Angle just to get Joe to sign, which would be an awful, awful move.

The trouble is by burying the Guns they then went on to bury 3D and Devine by pushing Lethal over all three. So instead of pushing three guys, they effectively de-pushed five. And with the weight limit thing... I think I've missed one Impact since last summer, otherwise have watched week in, week out until my ears bled and my wife watched with me, and both of us never heard anything saying that it was specifically for 3D. We just heard things like Shelley and Sabin saying "we want a 275lb weight limit so you two fat bastards can't wrestle", that sounded to me more like a general rule that was going to specifically inconvenience the Dudleys. Maybe it was on the show I missed earlier this year. That said, I am enjoying the heel run of the Dudleys in a certain perverted way. For me, they manage to pull off goofy bully heels pretty well. The segments where they were trying to stick to the diet were funny, but they're nasty enough in the ring to actually be believable heels. As opposed to Angle, who's just goofy.

Coming LIVE to tape/DVD from the Liacouras Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! All matches/promos due by 7pm EST, March 13th. Send all marked matches/promos to King Cucaracha. Another new era has dawned on the SWF, after From The Fire. Tonight marks the first night of SWF General Manager Toxxic's reign alongside Commissioner Maddix, the first night of show names that Landon doesn't get and the first night I'm sure of wacky mismatched partners re-united! That's for the boardroom though. If we have a boardroom. I'm pretty sure we don't. The real action will be out in the ring, where more contenders will be found for a possible battle of the belts at Battleground! Dead Or Alive (Alan Clark and Walter Reynolds) vs Slaughterhouse Five (Michael Alexander© and MANSON) Tag Title Contendership Match Clark's back, with a friend. And let's face it, after a terrible showing against Tom Flesher and a barely improved one against DDD, it looks like he needs it. World Champion, Michael Alexander wants yet more gold. And MANSON wants to crush and destroy. Winners get a shot at VDN some time in the future, possibly as soon as Battleground(?). Rules: Tag. Use the tag ropes. Word Limit: 5500 Send To: Toxxic Tracey Bruner vs Dance Dance Dragon Tracey wants some ass to whoop, and it seems he really hates goofy Japanese pop-culture crazes. Don't get him started on Pokemon, seriously. Dance Dance Dragon is in the way and needs to measure his dance skills against Bruner's seemingly-overwhelming power. Rules: Standard singles Word Limit: 5000 Send To: JHawk Va'aiga vs 'Hollywood' Spike Jenkins Va'aiga was doing so well, but you should never bet against the Insane Luchador in a hardcore environment. The Maori Badass now faces a new challenge - can he retain his excellent record against the returning Jenkins, or will Spike make March his month? Rules: Standard singles Word Limit: 5000 Send To: King Cucaracha Taiga Star vs S.I.N. Taiga will get a shot at the Cruiserweight Title, as soon as we can actually track Wildchild down... in the meantime she goes face to face, head to head and nose to nose with S.I.N., who had an impressive first showing. Two rookies meeting, I still haven't had a chance to mention The Year Of The Upset™ yet. Sigh. Rules: Standard Singles Word Limit: 4500 Send To: King Cucaracha HARDCORE The Fabulous Jakey vs Insane Luchador Jakey isn't looking so fabulous these days, but Luchador pulled out a win to shock a lot of people when he beat Va'aiga in the Into The Fire match. He's been rewarded with a chance to do some stomping on familiar territory, and the promise of a hefty boost up the card if he wins his second match in a row. For Jakey... well, this might just come down to survival. Blah blah The Year Of The Upset™ blah. Rules: Hardcore. Pins/submissions count anywhere, no DQ. You know it. Word Limit: 4500 Send To: Dace59 Tom Flesher vs Annie Eclectic Sometimes real life gets in the way. Flesher showed up drunk, Annie was at a strip club and lost track of time. Both have been 'chastised' and get another go at it. But further down the card. Rules: Standard singles Word Limit: 5000 Send To: Toxxic Johnathan Clarke & Ced Ordonez vs ??? Clarke and Ordonez go into this match with the handicap of not knowing who their opponents will be. Double Jeopardy? Y2Chris? These and equally unlikely possibilities will be whispered in the arena, leading to inevitable disappointment... probably. Rules: Use the tag ropes Word Limit: 4000 Send To: King Cucaracha

Va'aiga/IL and Tom/Annie (such as it is) are up.

*gasp* IT LIVES! *starts hastily dismantling lightning conductor*

I know. My answer was for the benefit of Jakey and Manson as well.

Why would anyone have love for Drazon?

He probably hasn't. However, he assures me he'll check in to mark.

A good explanation of why a manager is a good idea, a good study of a veteran trying to help while his cocky protege thinks he's too good for it, and a subtle reference to Samoa Joe without actually name-checking him. All in all, a damn good promo.

No, you haven't, promos are always performed in character.

"Prat" is a good word, and should be used more.

I've informed Taiga of that little bit of RL. Unless we make it common policy to divulge all our members' (and past members') closest personal details to everyone who joins, well, I think we're going to run into these situations every now and then. Let's just take it as something performed in-character.

IL, if you can write a match half as good as this promo was, Va'aiga's in for a real fight. Respect to you my friend.

Good stuff as always. Card at his best when he brings the ranting Maori.

I've seen Curry Man before and on the occasions I'd seen him, he didn't have hair at the back of the mask. However, now someone says that he has had it before, that takes away what seemed to be a problem with continuity. And like I said, my wife thinks he has a slightly different skin tone (which I can't comment on, due to aforesaid colourblindness). I was just asking opinions, is all.

First time round, yes. In his next heel run he was running scared of Hardcore Freakin' Holly.

It could have been due to specific storyline events, or the preferences of the bookers at that time.

Manson's sort of an unnerving mix between Ultimate Warrior and a Satanic Hogan. With a bit of Jim Mitchell thrown in for good measure.

OK Stevie...

In classic triple threat style, DQs are not actually in force. However, gratuitous hardcore is not encouraged simply because there's no DQs.

Mistique!

Sickness happens to us all. I'm sure your time will come again.