Toxxic

I know I know, it's Long Island and you're a face here. I've never been to Long Island, I'm just jumping on the bandwagon of hating it. Because quite frankly, Tom Flesher hates it and that's good enough for me. I'd vote for that man.

Getting Long Island over with seems like a good idea to me.

Since Amy's apparently back in in-ring competition, here are her stats: Smarks Board Name: MikeofEvil Wrestler’s Name: Amy Stephens Height: 5’10 Weight: 171lbs Hometown: Nottingham, UK Age: 23 Face/Heel: Tweenerish. Her brother’s the biggest heel in the company, but it’s not impossible for her to get some sort of positive reaction. Stable: Revolution Zero Ring Escort: None Weapon(s): A studded black leather bracelet that she wraps around her fist and uses like brass knuckles if she can get away with it. Quote: ‘You what!?’ *SMACK* ‘Innit!’ ‘Ya get me?’ Looks: Amy is a pretty girl with baby blue eyes, although she has a slightly chubby face. Since she’s started wrestling her figure has toned up a bit, but there’s definitely some meat on her - the only six-pack she’s ever likely to see in the mirror is the beer in her hand, and she still spills over her trousers a bit. Her black hair has a fringe, and the rest comes down past her shoulders in an undercut which gets tied back during matches. IMPRESSIVE cleavage, although that’s also partly from the fact that she‘s a tad overweight by ‘traditional’ standards. Her clothes vary from day to day, but in the ring she tends to wear baggy black Criminal Damage skate trousers, a cut-off T-shirt, normally of a band like the Ramones, and pink-and-black Vans. Ring Entrance: The blasting opening of ‘Blitzkrieg Bop’ by the Ramones fires up, leading to (these days) a mixed reaction from the crowd. After a few seconds Amy comes out onto the stage with a can of lager (usually Stella Artois) in her hand and charges down to the ring. -FUNYON STUFF- Amy climbs to the second buckle, raises her lager and leads the crowd in a chorus: “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” As Joey launches into the first verse proper Amy drops down to the ring again, takes a few pulls from her can and then puts it down on the apron before getting ready for the match. Stats: Strength: 3 - Amy is a beefy girl and can hit just as hard as her brother Speed: 5 - She’s not exactly… streamlined. In fact, she’s a bit top-heavy. That sort of cuts down the high-flying moves. And besides, she can’t be bothered with all that fancy crap. Vitality: 6 - Whoops. She doesn’t jump around as much as her brother, so she can take more of a kicking before she finally goes down. Not invulnerable by any means, but surprisingly resilient. Charisma: 6 - If you can penetrate the Nottingham accent and high-speed delivery she has an engaging directness that makes her brother look like a master of diplomacy. And let’s face it, the tits mean she’s gonna get cheered by every straight guy or lesbian in the audience no matter what she does. Style: Brawler. Straight-up and simple. Sloppy, unrefined and aggressive, a cool head and some wrestling knowledge should take care of her, but underestimate her determination and desire to smash your face in at your peril. Signature Moves: Blitzkrieg Punches - Amy mounts her opponent in the corner, but instead of the normal ten punches with the crowd counting along she does eight while they chant “HEY-HO-LET’S-GO!” twice. Headbutt/Diving headbutt - one of her main weapons, can and will target any part of the body. Lou Thesz press and punches Illegal use of her studded bracelet for a ‘Power Of The Punch’ type move ‘SNAP~! DDT’ - Kick-out-the-leg-and-whip-backwards Lita-style. Sitting surfboard - Amy stands on her opponent’s back when they’re on their face on the mat, grabs their wrists and then drops back to a sitting position, bending their upper body backwards. ‘Face Breaker’ - grabs the opponent’s head in both hands while facing them, then jumps up and drops back whilst bringing both her knees up to smash into their face on landing. Imagine a Lungblower done to your face. Reverse Full Nelson neckbreaker - Amy hooks an opponent as if for a backslide but locks her hands together as if applying a full nelson, then drops down into a neckbreaker which delivers an added ‘kick’ on the neck and upper back. Moonsault - the rarest of the Sigs, since if she’s going to jump off the top rope she generally likes to see where she’s going. Common Moves: Slams Punches Kicks (nothing special) Polish Hammer 2nd rope elbow 2nd rope leg drop Biting Chokes Bronco buster/Stink Face Rare Moves: ‘Sex On The Beach’ - Corkscrew Swanton Bomb/Spiral Tap. So named because it happens less often than you’d want and it’s never as good as you expect. Plus, it’s another alcohol reference. JackDanielsHammer - cruiserweights ONLY Finishers: ‘Last Orders’ - rear naked choke with body scissors (preferred). ‘Double-D T’ - Double-arm DDT. And yes, it’s a bra size joke. NOTES: -She’s trained… sort of. Her brother certainly had a hand in her training, and we all know how much he knows about the finer points of technical wrestling, so how good he’d be at passing it on is anyone’s guess. However… -She’s nuts. Not screaming, demented psychotic nuts, just your average, common-or-garden have-a-few-pints-and-start-on-someone nuts. Relative size, weights and strength don’t really matter to her, if she thinks you‘re looking at her funny, she‘ll have you. She bit half someone’s ear off once in a club, although admittedly it was after he’d headbutted her. No-one knows what she did to get headbutted in the first place. Feel free to ask, if you dare. -Damn those Stephens kids and their inferiority complexes. Toxxic had to prove to everyone that he was the best wrestler in the company; Amy originally got offered a ‘Diva’ contract by Peters, and now feels that she has to prove she belongs in the ring. BIO: Amy Stephens had Toxxic as an older brother, and that pretty much tells you all you need to know about her childhood, and why she’s turned out quite so cheerfully violent. Although hardly unintelligent she lagged behind her brother at school, and perhaps her envy/dislike of him is why she ended up going in a different direction. Toxxic went straight-edge, went to the gym and took out his aggression by learning to wrestle; Amy got slaughtered as often as possible, went out clubbing and took out her aggression by starting fights with anyone in the vicinity. Amy came to the SWF looking for her brother in 2005 after he’d disappeared. What she found was Landon Maddix, and got involved with him partially in the hope that the sight of his sister shacking up with an old enemy would encourage Mike back, and partially because she fancied a shag. In the process she took a contract to get some money to keep on with her search if this plan didn’t work, and ended up winning the Hardcore Title by stopping the monstrous reign of Bruce Blank. When Mike didn’t return quickly Landon went all EVIL~ and started attacking Amy, which led to Mike finally returning and beating Landon, then being forced into the unlikely tag team of the Galacticos. When that relationship went down the toilet Mike picked up his old ring name again and formed Revolution Zero, with Amy still hanging around in the background doing what she does best. Drinking.

It says to send everything to Ace309, so I guess so. *didn't do a promo, so wasn't paying attention*

Umanga? See, I have it on good authority from someone who's actually studied Polynesian culture and language (to a certain extent, not massively massively in-depth, but enough) that yes, 'Umaga' IS pronounced 'Umanga'. So actually, Regal's smarter than everyone else on the WWE roster, and all of you. But then again, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know... [/sean O'Haire]

MANSON always has a choice, Muzz. In fact, he has THE choice, and you just go along with what he wants.

a) I can't see anything in your stats about Wildchild not being able to suplex 240lbs. It says he rarely does the Wild Ride against people over 230lbs, but can lift people of 250lbs for it as an absolute maximum - I couldn't see anything about how much he can suplex. I thought I remembered seeing something in your old stats about Wildchild not being able to lift over 240lbs - if that was inaccurate, I apologise. b) Dunno. We got it right last time. I was working from the stats I have saved on my laptop which, now I look at it, are version 1 stats for 2007 and did not include the new tag entrance music. Sorry.

Hmm. My original plan looks to have gone up in smoke, so we'll see whether you get anything from me or not.

...Toxxic was revealed as being gay just before he left in 2005. Jet revealed it to Chris Card while they were out at the Electric Ballroom in Camden, London, shortly before Ground Zero 2005. Also, what did you think all Landon's homophobic jibes were about in 2006? Also, what about the bit in my stats where it says "oh yeah, and he's gay, but it's just a background character thing, not an overt part of his gimmick"?

And the wonderful thing? Toxxic's gay now, so there's unlikely to be any friction in the Rev-0 camp! Excellent promo though, I liked it a lot. It's always hard to write promos that are basically dialogue back and forth, but for something like this all that matters really IS the dialogue.

Am I wrong, or didn't that actually go down fairly well with the fans in question?

That's the point. I really want to think of an incident where an unpopular wrestler ('the proverbial shit') attacks ('has hit') a member of the crowd ('the fan'), but I can't. If I could, I might have managed to be damn funny. Unfortunately I'm having to settle for theoretically funny, which isn't worth a damn.

I thought it was Heyman and the Dudleys who put Bearer in concrete, not the Cabinet? Incidentally, with the whole 'stable' discussion, does no-one remember King Booker's Court? You know, who basically made Lashley's life... well, mildly inconvenient... for however many months? However, I've always been a fan of stables and something like that would appeal to me greatly. Unfortunately I don't think the WWE comprehends the idea of even two guys with a common goal anymore, let alone three, four or five.

*tries desperately to think of an incident where an unpopular wrestler attacked someone in the crowd, just to make a really bad pun*

For Jeff Hardy, I mean.

Fuck, again? He looked fairly on track recently.

Didn't Ian lose to Windy's sister?

It's gotta be Vince. He's held the WWF AND ECW World Titles. Gotta be.

This is the best build to a match involving Another Octopus I've ever seen.

I wasn't paying any real attention to Meltzer or spoilers at the time, I was just watching the product. I had no knowledge of what was meant to happen, but I had a nasty sinking feeling that Benoit was going to lose again (or at least not win, maybe I thought he was going to be the odd man out of the finish, I don't recall). Either way, I was very, VERY surprised when he made Triple H tap out clean.

Well, we're back in the UK, and you know what that means... ...yup, Toxxic's face WC, you're getting booed, sucker!

The company should have kept Molly Holly around just to do that same angle with every new Diva. Or not.

Alas, the double-post.

PN News I was too young to really take in when I first saw him in WCW (and God, he was bad looking back). PG-13 I don't know, Public Enemy I only have a passing acquaintance with, Too Cool always were laughable and Rappin' Cena... well, my point is that Cena and PN News at least were MUSIC-based gimmicks (and Too Cool as well, they just danced to it instead of 'making' it). Granted, the music they were associated with was music traditionally associated with black culture, but it was music-based. Cryme Tyme aren't a music-based gimmick, they are a thuggery-based gimmick, but a CARTOONISH thuggery based gimmick, and that's what disturbs me. Let's look at Homicide (in ROH, since TNA are too scared to let him speak), the heel Homicide was a violent thug who had a finisher called the Cop Killa, for crying out loud. But that's the point, he was VIOLENT and NASTY, and sure the ROH fans respected him as a wrestler, but the character he portrayed was someone you did not want to fuck with. Cryme Tyme on the other hand... those vignettes that aired before they debuted where they did their thuggish things of mugging someone, carjacking, all the time with that goofy and very very white voice doing the voiceover. I seem to remember a ROH show where the cameras show Homicide beating the shit out of someone outside (his opponent for that night, i think). That's the difference, with Homicide the violence was real, it was not laughed at, it was respected. The man could hurt people, and no-one doubted this. With Cryme Tyme the violence (and let's face it, mugging and carjacking involves violence or the threat thereof, and not to an adversary in tonight's match but to members of the public) was made to seem inconsequential, and so the respect was not there. To a kayfabe watcher, Homicide was primarily a vicious, nasty guy who could hurt people, whereas Cryme Tyme are a double-act that not only reinforce stereotypes of black people as ghetto thugs, but also trivialises the violence they are seen to do. It ends up as as a sort of 'oh, those funny black people, let's laugh at their antics as they mug and carjack'. And don't even get me started on the implied rape of Maria. Am I making any sense here? I know what I'm trying to say, but I'm not sure if I'm getting it across as I intend.

Because I never truly believed they'd actually let Benoit win the title. Let alone over Triple H, by a clean tapout, at Mania.