Toxxic

Raynor, grammatical anality is my job.

Kibagami vs Jenkins has the makings of some awesome no-showing from at least one party. Bravo, bravo.

That was pretty good, for sure. The promo side of things works really well, my only concern is that the match reads a little vague due (understandably) to Blue Leaf not always being sure exactly what he's just been hit with, and the lack of familiarity with his opponent means he can't pull the move names out like Mak and King do. I'll be interested to see if you can continue with this style in more competitive matches, but if you're ever trying to sell yourself as an underdog face and taking a beating I think the lack of ability to describe due to increased ass-kickery might hurt you.

I'm with Sly. Here, half the crowd will love me, half hate me. And they'll start fighting in the aisles accordingly, maybe. (I know I shouldn't make light of sectarian violence, but hey, it's an e-fed. What don't we make light of?)

Killa, I'll do a full review of your match tomorrow.

This promo intrigues me, although how the hell you're going to do something MMA-related I don't know. Also, what is this sudden aversion to non-name capital letters?

What the hell happened to Alexander? JRR told me he was getting something in, and I've been in touch with Adonis, but given Godfish's debut and the fact he was browsing the boards last night I'd have thought he'd have shown on his second match.

I've just noticed 'Alan may write if he chooses'. Will Clark make the non-active Zyon beat Spike? Only time will tell...

When do we get stats, anyway?

Go back ten years and you might be right.

“Kibagami?” The word is pronounced quite specifically. It sounds like it should be picked up with industrial-grade tongs and dropped into an incinerator, but there is also an overtone of disbelieving scepticism that implies fault or lunacy at the source of the problem. The source of that problem is Tom Flesher, and the person with the problem is - as if there could be any doubt - Toxxic. “Yes Toxxic, Kibagami,” Flesher replies, casually sparking up a Camel not just for a nicotine fix, but also to hopefully deter his visitor and get him to leave a little quicker. Toxxic just narrows his eyes, and the Superior One continues, “you’re as perceptive as ever, but shall I assume you had a purpose in mind behind this visit apart from naming newly re-signed wrestlers?” “Why? Tom, why?” Toxxic asks, settling down into the chair in front of the Commissioner’s desk. “Drake wasn’t your idea, I accept that because I was busy beating your arse in active competition when he was signed.” “You did-” “Twice,” the straight-edger clarifies, examining his nail polish. “Danny, on the other hand, that was definitely your handiwork. A desperate move to try and spike a buyrate for a Pay-Per-View that you knew wouldn’t draw shit without me in some high profile match, and you couldn’t find Janus for me. When Williams choked against me, and then choked against Johnny of all people, and then finally failed to turn up against Jimmy The Freakin’ Doom, I thought you’d learned your lesson. But no, you run wailing back to the past like a toddler to his comfort blanket in the hope that some roided-up star from the ‘Golden Age’ can save this ailing vehicle it pleases us to call a wrestling company.” “Are you done?” Flesher asks acidly. “For the moment.” “Danny spiked a buyrate,” Flesher tells the straight-edger, “and I have every faith that it was as much his doing as yours, and a strong main event, because the crowd likes Landon and everyone loved to hate Drake.” He straightens some paperwork on his desk. “Danny thinks he’s the Saviour of Wrestling, and he can’t stand being proved wrong more than once or twice in the same year, so off he went. A pity, but there you go.” The Superior One looks up and fixes Toxxic with a stare. “Kibagami is under no such illusions. He is here to hurt some people and get paid for it, and I will get any use I can out of him. Nostalgia pop, badass that the crowd will pay to see, merchandise shifter, figure of hatred that everyone wants to see taken out… I don’t care what role he fulfils, and as long as he’s getting paid I’m fairly sure he doesn’t either. Bottom line, he will be good for business, at least for a while, and that’s why he’s here.” A faint smile quirks Flesher’s lips. “Why, are you scared?” “Ha!” Toxxic barks a laugh, “me? Scared? Of Kibagami? Do us a favour Tom. Three years ago, yeah, I’d have been scared,” the Englishman admits, “or apprehensive, at any rate. Now?” He grins, and leans back in the chair. “He hasn’t wrestled anywhere in three years, and believe me, I’d have heard if he had. He’s old, he’ll be out-of-shape physically, he’ll have so much ring rust he’ll squeak when he moves.” Toxxic spreads his hands and shrugs. “What’s there to be afraid of? Putting me in the ring with Kibagami wouldn’t be a ratings-winner Tom, it’d be an embarrassment. And that’s assuming he even shows up. Personally,” the straight-edger continues, “I’ve got fifty quid on at Ladbrookes that he doesn’t make it to the arena to face Sly tomorrow.” “Yes, Sly,” Flesher says, scribbling something down on his notepad, “I notice that your little Revolution is growing again Toxxic. Surrounding yourself with more incompetents in the hope of making yourself look better?” he asks with a thin smile. “Oh, please,” Toxxic groans, “you rate Jakey. Don’t tell me otherwise.” “OK, Jakey I’ll grant you,” Flesher concedes, “the kid’s got some talent, even if he is sartorially-challenged. But Austin Sly?” “Mainstream crossover due to his music career,” Toxxic tells the Commissioner, “you know Sly brings some of his groupies back to the fed as an audience every time he returns. That’s good for business.” “Maybe,” Flesher replies, “but-” “-and don’t forget the music,” Toxxic adds, “he wrote the Storm theme tune, or did you forget? And half the music in the latest SWF video game was done by him. And you know we get the rights to that stuff cheap because of our ‘special working relationship’ with him.” Flesher glowers at the straight-edger, wondering when Toxxic got so clued up on the business side of things. “OK, so that’s true,” he agrees reluctantly, “but it doesn’t change the fact that he sucks as a wrestler, and you know it.” “Oh?” Toxxic replies. “I count a tag win with me over JRR and Insane Luchador, and a three-way at 13th Hour where he neither submitted nor was pinned.” “He also didn’t win it,” Flesher points out. “So give him a one-on-one rematch and find out what he can do,” Toxxic shrugs, “oh, and don’t even start with me about Mike Cross. We’re always hearing about how the roster’s too small, so I go and bring back a guy who was on the verge of breaking out a couple of times, and no doubt you want to moan at me about it or make some sort of patronising comment.” “Do you even need me to do that?” Flesher asks, reaching for his bourbon. “Don’t worry Tom, I haven’t finished with the Revolution yet,” Toxxic assures the Superior One, rising out of his chair. “I’ve still got plans in the works, and I don’t think you’ll be able to have any complaints about them. Don’t worry.” He turns to go, closing the office door behind him and leaving Flesher with the bourbon glass still halfway to his mouth. “I hate it when he tells me not to worry…” Flesher mutters.

I completely understand where you're coming from. And now the entire main event should be quivering in their respective boots, because I assume you have no problems in going for the World Title with Bruner, which means we're highly likely to see him with the strap soon...

"During this time, an up-and-coming rookie named Toxxic made a splash by defeating several veterans and failing to even gain contendership to the Cruiserweight Title due to Alan Fucking Clark". Damn it Clark, Cruiserweight and then International, that's twice you've got in my way. In other news, you're all awesome and I have nothing to contribute.

I thought I read something else where you specifically said you wouldn't be writing, otherwise I wouldn't have come to that conclusion. However, if it is going to be competitive, all the better. A little perturbed by the idea of Bruner coming out of nowhere into the picture like this but hey, maybe for once the big intimidating roadblock in the way of the face actually succeeds...

Please, I beg you, never compare anything I do to Oasis.

Like WC's writing anyway.

You're also not a new guy, because the answer to the 'how did you find us' question was that you used to write here. Unless of course you meant that you used to write for TSM and not the SWF, in which case I've no idea why you wouldn't just use your board name from then. Unless of course you didn't have one and just wrote for the front of the site without coming on here, in which case... ...ah hell, I'm going to bed anyway.

Harken to the possibly-probably-n00b.

Guys, only time will tell whether Spike is or is not a threat to the World Champion. In kayfabe it's not unfeasible, we've seen that a) Spike is focused, b) Clark is a little worried by him and c) on the next show Spike will beat Zyon, who... well, he's midcard fodder at the moment, even in kayfabe, but due to the dislike between them we could always call 'derby form' and say that Zyon is a much harder opponent for Spike than he would be for most other people. Bottom line as it stands at the moment is that, in the time they have both been in the fed, Johnny Dangerous has been World Champion twice, and Spike has not won that belt yet. And one of Johnny's matches was a no-show win, but one was not. Now Spike should call in and the two of you can shout abuse at each other, which might be more interesting that Rando talking about the ins and outs and exactly what he WANTED to do with his Disney contract for five minutes, but now will not, and how Johnny 'didn't understand it'. I mean, it's OK as a cute plot device, but it doesn't need to be analysed in depth.

I could help out, but I have about as much clue about coding as I do about nuclear physics. So what that basically translates to I guess is "actually I can't help out until I know more about coding".

No, I was joking that in the time you 'zoned out' of the fed, you lost the World Title. Like, that you had 'zoned out' so much that you'd come back and didn't actually realise that you weren't champion anymore. Which is of course nonsense, because i strongly suspect that you knew that. It wasn't really in any way related to the influx of newbies you mentioned in your next sentence. Course, if you want to construct conspiracy theories, be my guest.

You lost the World Title.

There's nothing much you can say to the Fulminatus moveset. Any moveset that includes 'Anything. Feel free to be creative' as a signature move kind of writes itself. However, the idea of the character as a permanently-moving weirdo is certainly an interesting one.

The fed doesn't have a website because there was a) nothing we could put on it that we didn't do here, and b) the last one we had got half-built and then never went anywhere. There is a Hall of Fame, although I couldn't tell you who was in it beyond Flesher, Rane, Muzz, Thoth and all of the Carnival members that ever mattered.

From a very swift look over, it might benefit you to lose the Shining Wizard, as that's Landon's finisher.