Toxxic

KENTA hates you as well, Landon.

Well, you've come in with your own angle and for that you are to be applauded. What I would say is that it would be better if you'd saved an in-ring promo to go into the next Storm (you can do this by PMing it to Ace309 and asking him to put it in the show) because board promos are generally saved for things that happen outside of wrestling events. Also, whether or not the character exists in your federation, I'd stop using the name 'Spick' if I were you. Regardless of whether you intend it as such it's a word with unfortunate racial connotations, and I for one would like it if you didn't use it. Thank you. One last thing - in the SWF canon we aren't an "e-fed". We're a wrestling federation, just like the WWE or TNA or whatever. No SWF character ever refers to the company as an e-fed. A minor point, but it's one of those 'suspension of disbelief' deals. All that said, I'll be intrigued to see what you bring to the table.

Tell you what IS bullshit. Someone sounding off about how the fed's currently run, then not turning in a match, ANY sort of match, for the next show. You're in a match-writing fed, Mike. What part of 'match-writing' don't you understand?

I never used that chair, damn you... Great promo Danny. I think it gives a good atmosphere - one of dislike, yes, but also respect. Which to be fair is what I was trying to get over in that promo from the other week. I'm looking forward to this one.

FROM THE OFFICE OF TOM FLESHER The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation would like to announce that following a meeting of the shareholders they have parted ways with CEO Joseph Peters, effective immediately. Joseph Peters took charge of the SWF in late 2004 and was instrumental in introducing concepts such as the ‘three-tiered shows’ of Hardcore Storm, Pure-Wrestling Smarkdown and Family Friendly Lockdown. However, despite bringing such innovations such as the Lethal Lottery and the Elimination Chamber to the SWF the SWF shareholders have decided that Mr. Peters presence at the helm is no longer beneficial to the company or its interests. A new CEO will be announced by the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation on April 1st 2007. In the interim, Tom Flesher will be acting as a temporary CEO. The SWF wishes Joe Peters the best of luck in his future career.

Johnny/WC - just realised I forgot to edit in the Galactico's tag stats to my stats post when we made the new stats thread. This has now been corrected.

Oh, this tag match is going to be fun.

Storm Comments CLARK PROMO: This is some way for Clark to get around his ‘no hardcore’ contract stip, I’m assuming by now appearing as ‘Mirror Max’ (that’s an appalling pun, appalling). I’ll admit to not liking this as much as recent Clark promos, there seems to be a little too much forced levity in the description, but that might be just me. WC vs. J3 …and WC bitches about JJ’s choice of entrance music. Not that it’s not justified in some respects, but a tad overdone perhaps Now, onto the match. JJ attacking before the bell = good. Busaiku Knee Kick knocking Wildchild out of the ring = good. WC getting back to his feet, then being able to leap backwards and balance on a barricade directly afterwards = BAD. I don’t care how agile WC is - he’s just been hit in the back of the head by a Busaiku Fucking Knee Kick, which knocked someone the fuck out earlier in the year. He’s lucky he doesn’t have whiplash, but it’s sold as if it was about as damaging as a shove that took him out of the ring. KENTA hates you, WC. I’m not sure about WC getting back to his feet from the attempted Fujiwara and backing JJ onto the ropes, considering how much stronger JJ is. However, something like the leg lariat shows how Wildchild should be countering things, by using his amazing speed to take people off-guard. I’m a little torn on whether Wildchild’s speed should give him the advantage of a striker who in kayfabe is second to pretty much Danny Williams and no-one else in the fed right now, but that could easily be a case of circumstance decides the winner. A small point - an elbow suicida is, unless I’m mistaken, a suicide dive (between the top and middle ropes) that ends in an elbow smash, not an elbow smash plancha. Happy to be corrected if I’m wrong though. The Buffalo Sleeper sequence is good, and gives a nice impression of WC’s desperation with the final ‘swinging for Johnson’s head’. I’m a little dubious about the Dangerous German reverse spot though, mainly because if JJ’s popped his hips enough to launch WC across the ring as he plans he’s going to end up on his back from the effort, which means although WC might land on his feet he won’t be in a position to apply a rear waistlock immediately. It seems to be a spot that owes more to Smackdown vs. Raw than physics as I understand it but, again, I may well be wrong on this. The rolling cradle/hiza-jujigatame/sharpshooter sequence - I liked that a lot. I don’t have the technical knowledge to say how feasible it all is, but it reads well to me, and that’s what matters J From there it’s a great race to the finish with a variety of big moves and near falls, very well-paced. I do remember what JJ said about being mad that he always seems to be beaten by roll-ups, and the same thing happens here (well, it’s a flying Sunset Flip, but close enough). A good match that puts JJ over as a threat (although given his recent form, I don’t know why anyone bothers), but I’m a little confused where Wildchild’s bloodlust from last week went. DRAKE/LANDON PROMO I like this a lot. We’re in Mind Game City here… and bloody hell, I am racking up the enemies, aren’t I? But it’s the little uses of language I like here - Landon asking if this is a riddle at the start, and Gabe going back to that at the end - “And riddle me this”. Not to mention adjustments of “he who lives by the sword dies by the sword”, where Drake basically tells Landon that his association with Stephens is going to get him more enemies than if he was on his own. Excellent work. LANDON ENTRANCE Can I say this again? I love Landon’s character. He’s so air-headed it’s hilarious. It’s like Bill & Ted took up wrestling and were sponsored by Pepsi. DRAKE/MEGAN Another great promo. What this show lacks in matches, it makes up for in quality promo work. Drake really is an ominous character, and in more ways than he’s just bigger than anyone else in the fed. Mak’s given him an air of malicious intelligence that goes beyond the ‘GRR! GABE SMASH!’ intimidation element. He’s also completely unafraid of using violence to anyone to get what he wants, and the way he views Megan as a means to an end possibly makes it even nastier. And the “Now that… wasn’t the easy way” is cold man, cold. JOHNNY DANGEROUS vs. MICHAEL STEPHENS Now, as I was writing this I did wonder if it was too much of a squash. However, what I hope it came over as was a) Stephens is back in full-on heel mode and no longer gives shit what anyone thinks and b) a way to turn your opponent’s storyline to your advantage. Johnny was pissed with Stephens and also feeling guilty about what happened to Wildchild, that came over on the last show. So I tried to use that by having him start the match outside the ring (where Stephens is more than comfortable) in his desire for revenge, and second by having him distracted by Wildchild’s plight. I didn’t exactly want to be squashing a dominant tag team on my own, but I thought it was believable in the circumstances - I want to know what other people thought though. Oh, and regarding the pepper spray, the idea was that Stephens knew (or guessed) that Wildchild would be interfering and wanted a surprise to keep the odds from being stacked against him. ALAN CLARK & ZYON vs. ASIA UNDERGROUND Gaaah! Too much dialogue that would be inaudible to the fans! I don’t mind things that might be picked up on the ring mics, or on the TV cameras (like where I had Stephens ask Landon to get Johnny’s legs to lift him into the ring, I figured there’d be a camera close enough to pick that up), but I just don’t like it where two wrestlers say things in text that would not have been audible to the crowd or the TV audience. And yes, in my matches I’ll sometimes describe how a wrestler is feeling, or give at least some indication of their train of thought. How is this different? I don’t know, I just know it feels right to me. Presumably this style feels right to Clark and he’s perfectly entitled to write it… it just really, really grates on me, for reasons I can’t fully explain. And you can hear Akira’s thoughts as well. I just don’t like this. Sorry. Overall a good show for what there was of it - what I really want to happen (apart from people showing more) is to find out what happened in the end between Drake and Megan, and where and how Landon found out.

Landon and I are Edge & Christian, W&D are the Hardyz, and Flesher is Mick Foley, all circa 2000. IT'S TRUE

Wrestler’s Real Name: Edward James Alias: Eddy J Height: 6'7 Weight: 276 lbs. Hometown: Redwater, Alberta, Canada. Age: 24 Face/Heel: Face Stable: Ring Escort: Description: Body - Standing as tall as a giant and built like an ox never described anyone better than Edward James. His massive frame is just a prime specimen of excellent physic and fitness and is clearly at the top form that it can be. Face - A face that clearly displays his youth as it is unblemished with any wear, tear or facial hair. The blue eyes shine with innocence and naivety yet carry about them a glint of something dark and sinister. Hair - His hair is unlike his body or attitude. The brown hair adorned on his head is absolute mess, as it spans out in spikes all over the place. One would swear that he just woke up and left it exactly the way it is. Attire: Blue jeans, silver belt, white t-shirt, and red baseball cap. Standard attire for a standard sort of guy. Ring Music: Darkest Omen (A Remix by mv on VGMix.com of Yasunori Mitsuda’s Black Omen off of Chrono Trigger) Ring Entrance: Around the arena the lights drop out, leaving everyone shrouded in complete and total darkness. After a few moments of silence, an ominous voice bellows from the rafters as the SmarkTron slowly fades to life, showing a large crag of mountain that seems larger than life... "An overwhelming symbol of power..." ...the voice fades away as the opening notes of "Darkest Omen" cascade over the crowd, two large spotlights hit the entrance ramp, showing a large figure standing tall and looking out over the arena. The music continues and the man steps from the shadows, revealing himself to be none other than Edward James. With an intense look frozen in his eyes, Edward walks to the ring, his every step met with the mix of slow, classical tones and cymbal crashes of his music... (Funyon says his peace here) The crowd cheers the rookie as he climbs the ring steps, turning to face them as he reaches the apron. He raises one fist slow and delibrately, holding it high in the air for a moment before turning back and climbing into the ring, his motions like a caged lion - waiting to be unleashed onto the SWF. Stats: ¯¯¯¯¯ Strength: 10 [Eddy J is just naturally gifted with power. Meaning any power move hurts like hell.] Speed: 4 [Don’t get me wrong. Eddy J can be speedy, but is not athletic. Hence, he’ll use his power instead of his speed more often then not.] Vitality: 5 [Eddy J has a little more endurance than the ordinary person, but that is probably because he eats his veggies, takes his vitamins and is very consistent in his routines.] Charisma: 1 [Eddy J can cut a normal promo that gets his point across.] Style: Is a brawler, through and through. Expect most moves to focus on hitting and just mashing a person with absolute physicality. Sometimes he does some technical work, and a few mat moves here and there. If he's pumped up, he'll throw in one or two cruiser moves into a match (rare thing though). Common Moves: 01) Arm Drag 02) Ax Bomber 03) Avalanche 04) Back Drop 05) Belly To Belly Suplex 06) Big Boot 07) Bulldog 08) Clothesline 09) DDT 10) Knife Edge Chops 11) Leg Drop 12) Neck Breaker 13) Rib Breaker 14) Russian Leg Sweep 15) Suplex 16) Snap Suplex Counter Moves: 01) Neckbreaker - this is not Hurricane style, this is Triple H style. 02) Outside Crescent Kick - crusier move, so rarely use this. 03) Powerslam 04) Samoan Drop 05) Spinebuster Signature Moves: 01) Catatonic 02) Death Valley Driver 03) Double Arm DDT (Stevie T Style) 04) Double Ax Handle 05) Fall Away Slam 06) German Suplex 07) Powerbomb Finishers: 01) ??? - Canadian Backbreaker Crucifix Powerbomb (Opponent over your shoulders, ala Dominator. Grab their arms, spreading them out. After that, toss them over the shoulder and onto the mat). Move can also be varied into a variety of ways, sit-out, running, etc. 02) Vengeance - Cross-Armed Brainbuster (Cross opponents arms, then put into a side headlock while still holding onto person's arms, lift into a brainbuster and then drop on head). Rare Moves: 01) Drop Kick - Don't mock the drop kick. You mock, I use. 02) Exploder Suplex 03) Fisherman's Suplex 04) Sharpshooter - His only submission move, so only use if it is like submission match, ok? 05) Tiger Driver

MAIN EVENT - TAG TEAM ACTION! Asia Underground vs. Zyon and Alan Clark ~The odds of Asia Underground showing are small, so I say Clark and Zyon. STREET FIGHT OF NO PARTICULAR IMPORT Michael Stephens vs. Johnny Dangerous Special Guest Commentator: Landon Maddix ~We both lose. NON-TITLE CRUISERWEIGHT MATCH Wildchild © vs. JJ Johnson ~JJ could take WC, but JJ doesn't write anymore, so, WC. IN THE HOUSE OF MARVELOUS: Domo-Kun~! SINGLES MATCH OF TAG TEAM IMPORT "Cadillac" Calvin Szechstein vs. MANSON ~MANSONOSITY! HARDCORE MATCH Xero vs. Insane Luchador ~I'll go with IL, JUST.

I've got something in mind, but it's more of a guide to the fed for new writers, so they know who people like King and Mak are and vaguely what character they have, that sort of thing.

I whacked out a few comments for Skull Radio, but a couple of things I didn't have time to say - Landon's character and promo is awesome. Few other main-eventers would just razz their tongue at a long-time career rival, and the "umm... yes?" response to Gabe's breakdown of how the match could favour him is great, just great. I really like what Drea did with MANSON coming out with a crowd of Mansonites all in hooded robes, and doing the bait-and-switch with a follower/disciple/whatever. I really wish MANSON would do more crazy promos like that one where he was channelling a sort of Satanic Hulk Hogan, the character has the potential to go so wild and all it needs is MANSON putting a little more into it. Yeah, that's all I've got for now.

WC is entitled to his opinion. That doesn't stop him from being wrong In all seriousness though, i think that with the (largely) serious, down-to-earth nature of the majority of SWF characters, Landon's gimmick is refreshing. I can understand that some people might not like it, but it does us good to have an airhead character around once in a while. I mean, the whole HELL... in a CELL... LADDER MATCH! thing was awesome. Who else can do a bait-and-switch in three lines?

It's difficult to comment on something when it's a teaser, as there's not much to actually comment on. However, I'll be intrigued to see how Clark gets around this stip in his contract, even though it could potentially take away some of the dichotomy that makes the character interesting. And I hope he's talking about the Mir space station.

God, and I was joking.

With a slightly earlier due time, I too could get a match marked in for the show to go up on the Wednesday, if no-one thought that I'd have a conflict of interests in marking.

Feel free - MY tag partner's on commentary so will be on hand to thwart your nefarious schemes, you... babyface, you...

Had you caught up that we have one show a week now, or were you still wondering why you kept missing Lockdown and Smarkdown?

What precisely are you expletiving about, Thugg?

We do. As yet, none of them have submitted stats though.

http://groups.myspace.com/smartmarkswrestlinggroup There you go. Join us or die. I'm going to be posting the shows as bulletins - that way they should stick around. Any and all other topics go up as, surprisingly, topics. C'mon, let's make this work!

I've now actually looked at the bulletin, and I don't think it compresses the show too much. It's still fairly easy to read - i think this could be a solution, as not are bulletins wider and easier to read than topics, but also stick around much longer.

There's commentary. Mak Francis does play-by-play, Suicide King is on colour. Or color, if you want to be difficult. I think what the guys were talking about up there was guest commentators.

Everyone involved in Tag Team MashUp, take note: Stephens' chokeslam of Wildchild out of the ring has semi-turned him in the eyes of the fans, and he will no longer get such a face reaction. I'll edit my stats within the next day or so to demonstrate this properly, but bear in mind that I'm going to see Nine Inch Fucking Nails tomorrow, and everything else takes a backseat to that.