Toxxic

First up - Haffy has a Signature move with a name but no description. I'd like to put out a quick 'WTF'?

It's true. In at least one Toxxic/Maddix confrontation last year Landon was writing Toxxic too American. But let's be fair, having never lived in America (as far as I know), how is Landon meant to get *everything* right?

You're all so bloody cynical, that's your problems. And Bruce... if you'd care for a rematch you only have to ask... lightning will NOT strike twice.

You mean apart from the fact that any non-cruiserweight could overpower him, and what he knew about mat wrestling could be written on the back of a postage stamp? Even towards the end of his career Toxx was still only average on the mat, and a proper wrestler could tie him in knots.

Rumble skills (brawling, hardcore, power, strong style and shoot fighting): TORU Takahara: 95, 91, 90, 93, 75 Toxxic: 78, 88, 67, 70, 70 Technical skills (mat work, chain wrestling, submissions): TORU: 35, 30, 40 Toxxic: 60, 55, 77 Flying skills (aerial abilities, flashiness): TORU: 85, 80 Toxxic: 95, 100 Sportz Entertainment (microphone, charisma, acting, looks, and superstar quality): TORU: 25, 75, 50, 65, 75 Toxxic: 95, 96, 98, 90, 97 Performance skills (wrestling basics, psychology, safety, consistancy, selling): TORU: 80, 82, 70, 75, 81 Toxxic: 78, 65, 90, 95, 75 Physical skills (athleticism, toughness, stamina): TORU: 80, 90, 90 Toxxic: 96, 75, 84 Extra shit (intensity, resilience, sitffness, menace, refereeing): TORU: 80, 92, 90, 88, 60 Toxxic: 95, 78, 75, 70, 75 Backstage skills (business, booking, respect): TORU: 50, 50, 75 Toxxic: 85, 77, 80 Oh...and give me an idea of how over you would be in the U.S. please be honest, lol...minumum of 65 out of 100 for the United States. TORU: 75. I'd say the same for KOJI, since Card didn't put it down Toxxic: 100. Bitches.

Is anyone else worried that a roughly 500-word match, written by my tag team partner when he was pissed out of his MIND, can beat our Number One Contender? Anyone? Anyone at all? Does it make it better or worse when I point out that it was Wednesday when I pointed out to Spike that he was actually facing Card and not me? And re: the end to my match - Zyon asked for him to be taken out of action for a while. So since I've had enough of injuring people and retiring/temporarily retiring, I had him take himself out. Crazy bastard. In other news Bruce Blank proves that he is still damn hard to beat in wacky hardcore stips, ELM says that Spike belongs nowhere near the World Title (and seriously Spike, if you can't beat THAT then unless you were the victim of computer failure I'd say the man has a point) and Todd Cortez turns his fortunes around. Go fed!

Did I say i was talking to you?

Shut up, Thoth.

Hopefully never, at least until they both DRASTICALLY improve.

I couldn't control my opponent's decisions to no-show. I WAS able to control the fact that I wrote and submitted something each and every single time.

Because you've made the Number One Contender's position look like shit. I mean come on, Card is a good writer and a former World Champion, but he was also pissed out of his mind, super-rushed and, from the conversation I had with him that day, fairly unmotivated for the match. But it was this guy, who is in a tag team with me because neither of us wants to have to give too much commitment to singles matches at the minute, who took the time to put in 500 words so that SOMETHING made the show. I'm jumping down your throat because after weeks and months of complaining about never getting a World Title shot you've basically had one handed to you, not through beating other contenders but through an angle where Tom was always going to job (and fair enough, I've got nothing against angles), but then you don't get anything in for a match that in kayfabe AND reality, you should have won. Even a 1k match would have beaten Card's. And what's this about the card? I don't know about you, but I tend to look at the card BEFORE I start a match. And don't give me that about Storm - how long has Storm been the hardcore show? EVERY SINGLE MATCH having hardcore rules? Since shortly after New Year, I believe. If you haven't got into the rhythm of that yet I think there's something wrong here. Now, it might be that come Ashes 2 Ashes you'll wow us all with a fantastic match and win the World Title, in which case good luck to you. My problem is that in the run-up you've made yourself look incredibly weak. I just don't feel that someone challenging for the World Title (or holding the World Title, for that matter) should be someone who only pays attention and puts the effort in when they're challenging for or defending the belt. It's about long-term commitment and consistency. *gets off soapbox*

Nooooo problem. CC, can we have a 'Gag The White Trash' match please?

Here's a can of Carlsberg. Now be quiet. Thank you.

A strip bar.

Well, according to the card my match was meant to be before KOJI/Spike. So I blame Raynor.

Blame Drea. She linked me to it, but was too chicken to bump it herself.

You got me. Guilty as charged.

Wait and see if you've caught any STDs. If not, go back and tip her.

Is this where Kibagami got his inspiration from?

You come easily. I've heard the stories.

Well we can't all live in tweenerland and then be over like Steve Austin just cause we face a heel yanno Only cos you're not trying. It's not MY fault the fans hate you and Ward so much

Tim Dillon. He's not the same person as Petey, OF COURSE NOT!

Yup, pretty soon you'll ascend to CC and begin booking Bubblegum Bagder On Stilts matches.

Yes OK, you get love for that. Softens him up nicely for me.

^Don't tempt me. And Landon... I know that Petey the Penguin and Insane Luchador are the same writer, but Insane Luchador and IL are the same CHARACTER! One's just an abbreviation of the other! Foolish boy... although I'll admit they'll be easy to defend against. Big up for Drea's sound effects too.