Toxxic

I'd settle for 'Boom, explosion, everyone dies but Wes Davenport'. Fuck it, that'd win, hands down.

OK, who's about? i know WC isn't, I know Hawke isn't. I have received other communications as well. Anyone who has not specifically told me or Landon YES or NO to the next show, either post here or PM us if you feel like being secretive, ASAP, I thank YOU. We're looking at Thurs Feb 14th. Word limits will be kept low.

We got no Fucks. NOTHING. Not a single Clusterfuck. Not even a 'Boom, explosion'. Seriously people, this shit is bad. We don't want to do a show with no Clusterfuck, that's the point of the show, that's the name of the show. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has until 7pm EST Sunday 27th to get something in. ANYTHING in. The door is wide open again, please please please write SOMETHING and get it to either me or Landon so we can at least pretend there are still people interested in this fed.

Markers now up! ...oops.

Duly noted.

An update - From The Fire will NOT be the SWF's next show after the Clusterfuck. We're having a middle-of-February show, then From The Fire at the end of Feb. So the Clusterfuck winner will still get the shot at From The Fire, they'll just have one show inbetween to gloat/compete/be attacked by the current champion/attack the current champion/whatever.

Maybe it was a one off. It's worked since then. I'm so pissed off with not being able to store a finisher anymore, btw.

No, you're not.

Well, on Impact they said Sharkboy requested the match against Tomko. However I think I lost my way, this was meant to be in the Comments Not Warranting...

One other thing - where the fuck is Hardcore Sharkboy going?

My problem with Black Reign is that Black Reign mysteriously takes over Dustin in time to do his makeup, put on his outfit and be ready at the top of the ramp in time for his music to hit. And always sticks around for long enough to finish the match, win or lose. Incidentally, has it ever been worked out whether Rellik is really Black Reign's deepest darkest nightmare? My mate is convinced that in TNA kayfabe he's actually meant to have been created by Black Reign's disturbed psyche, meaning that Dustin would not only have a personality disorder with a great sense of timing but which is also capable of bringing 250lb+ wrestlers into existence and getting them TV time.

The SWF in 2008 Well, Landon’s in charge with me kicking around as backup/dogsbody/voice of reason/person who’s around at weekends. We’ve moved away from anything approaching a regular schedule and towards doing things as we want, when we want, how we want! Think of it less as abandoning a comforting routine and heading towards a confusing, bewildering mess of chaotic uncertainty and more of leaving a cloying, intrusive and demanding regimentation and heading for the carefree and live-for-the-moment attitude so rarely realised by the modern public. Either that, or we realised that people just don’t want to write 5000 words a week and took pity on you in an effort to save the fed. Take yer pick. So, leaving that ballyhoo (but no pyro) aside, on to business. Put simply, we feel that perhaps a few changes are needed in the SWF and how we have done things in the past. And when I say ‘we’ I obviously mean anyone except me and Landon, because we are of course faultless. Mainly, I’m talking about the whole sordid issue of pushing people. We are a match-writing fed. The results of matches affect your position within the fed, we all know that. But how do we decide who gets what match in the first place? Well, that’s where we perhaps need to focus on things a bit. Take note: 1) WINNING MATCHES Kinda obvious. Win matches and you’ll get bigger, better, more exciting matches, perhaps for titles. 2) PUTTING THE EFFORT IN So you always write, but you don’t win. That’s not good. That’s not motivating. Do you deserve to be buried in the SWF’s undercard simply because you’re not so good at this whole thing? Not if you’re trying. Will we put you over a better match on the basis of you keeping trying? No. But what we will do is keep putting you into positions where you get the chances to do something. Whether you’re the plucky face who always fails at the last hurdle or the fan favourite or the monster heel Kane-clone whom everyone fears but everyone defeats but still gets big matches on the basis of being big, or even the chicken-shit heel whom everyone likes to see get beaten up, there’s a place for you on the card and a reason for you to get just one more opportunity… as long as you’re putting the effort in. And maybe this time, it’ll work out for you. 3) CONSISTENCY So you’re a great writer who puts in a great match one time in three, no-shows the second time and does a 500-word squash the third. And yet mysteriously, your best matches always seem to coincide with the ones that matter, the title shot or the chance to get a title shot, whatever. This is not good. It’s understandable that you’ll be more motivated for some matches than others, but if we see that you are only bothering to put effort in when there’s something in it for you, you will stop getting those chances. Please, show some respect for the fed and your opponents and if you’ve agreed to be booked, write to somewhere near what you’re capable of. 4) NAME VALUE It’s official, name value means shit in the new-and-improved SWF. The big name returnee might get a high-profile return match if they warrant it, and we’re not above putting a one-off return up as a marquee match to make everyone happy. What I’m saying is, don’t expect that because you’ve done it all before and you were owning all the competition in *insert year here* you will get consistent main-event treatment now if you’re not bringing the goods. There’s a bunch of current mid-carders working their butts off who deserve a World Title shot ahead of you. Get in line. That said, if you are a Name who IS bringing the goods, we’ll pimp you like Jesus Brand Whiskey, just don’t expect special treatment on name alone. (p.s. www.pleasecomeback.com) 5) ANGLES Storylines are good. Storylines are fun. Storylines are what makes pro wrestling more than two or more people of sometimes indeterminate gender rolling around on canvas in their underwear. WE WANT TO SEE ANGLES. Big, complicated angles! Angles that twist, and turn (yet are non-Russo). If you can organise, co-ordinate or play a major role in an angle, you’re taking the time and trouble to get involved in the fed and we will take the time and trouble to reward you… at the end of the angle. Angles should be about the story, not about “I want the title”. Sure, that can be a part of it, but there needs to be something else there too. Give us a good story and we’ll give you at least a chance of getting that title. Try and crowbar your way into the title picture and we’ll more than likely no-sell you and the angle you rode in on. That’s all folks. Discuss/flame/ignore at your pleasure. Oh, one more thing. Are we still happy with Mak and King as an announce team, or do we need to change? And if so, who to?

None of you have anything on Frisco.

Lovely bunch, aren't they?

Anyone else finding the whole Hardcore Rejuvenation thing doesn't work? My guy got bloodied by an opponent and did I get a full momentum meter? Did I jack.

Is it churlish of me to suggest that sometimes Meltzer gets it right, sometimes he gets it wrong, but that he is perhaps better informed than some?

Oh, and Gail Kim. You know, former WWE Women's Champion. TNA DEFINITELY have better women's wrestlers. They've got the best North American women's division bar SHIMMER that I know of.

that would seriously rule. Right. If it now happens, I'm claiming royalties and you can back me up. *disappears to make T-shirts with the slogan "I'm crying about Kwik Killings"*

Surely the crowd will turn on Austin now he's Stunnered Stacy for no good reason? Surely Booker T will beat Triple H at WM 19? Surely Jericho will beat Shawn Michaels at WM 19? Surely TNA will realise how utterly, thoroughly sick their fans are of Jeff Jarrett? Surely it's impossible to fuck up a Samoa Joe main event push? All you have to do is put him in the ring and let him hit people, and greatness ensues.

Yes, but, different environment, and Brock was prepared for it. Despite knowing slightly less than Jack Shit about MMA (except that the African Assassin was totally out of his depth on 79, even I could see that), I'm willing to bet that you don't stand in the octagon going "well this guy's going to hit me in a second, I'd best brace for it". You try and AVOID getting hit. Also, Brock would have known that two chairshots and then he rolls out of the ring. It's a bit different to the factor of getting hit in the face and starting to stagger and realising that now you're off-balance you're going to get pounded into fertiliser until the referee calls a stop to it.

That seems (seems) like a rather honest interview from Orton. Although I'm willing to bet some of that was heel persona shining through in a non-kayfabe situation.

Thank God there's no such thing as HD Playboy magazines, or lives may have been lost through the vehemence.

Actually, my mistake. That's more like it.

"I'm Kwik Killings, and I hate myself because I discriminate against myself AND I CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" OK, I'm calling this. Ron Killings will return as Kwik Killings, black emo gangsta who beats people up and then cries about it. His entrance music will be My Chemical Romance remixed by Method Man, and his TitanTron video will be MySpace phonecam shots of himself. What do you reckon?

Don't forget comedy gangsta. How soon Cryme Tyme can be forgotten. I suppose Killings would at least be guaranteed a decent payday in WWE for a while, even if he gets jobbed out. I am surprised he's interested in returning to be honest. I imagine TNA has copyrighted the name 'The Truth'? If the WWE had any sense they'd bring him back as Ron Killings and have him as a prominent but ultimately unsuccessful mid-to-upper midcarder, just to remind everyone that a TNA World Champion can't make the top level in the WWE.