UseTheSledgehammerUh

Stats mean jack shit, especially when you're calling out Kendrick for throwing longballs in Citizens Bank Park, the mecca of homerun balls. The Phillies are not a conventional pitching team, as they are the definition of "keep them in the game" pitching due to the offense being able to back up the pitching. Other than Hamels, there isn't one traditional "good pitcher" on the team, bullpen included. Myers is okay. Speaking of silly stats, I love how Phillies.com claims Adam Eaton is a "Met Killer" for being 5-0 against them...despite tonight's pitcher Tom Glavine having beaten the Phillies *28* times.

The strike turned baseball from America's Favorite Game into "another sport", not Bonds.

I believe Thursday Raw Thursday was at the Manhattan Center, bub. The Skydome non-Monday Raw, in February 1999, right before IYH: St. Valentine's Day Massacre, was on a Friday, I believe. "- On a holiday." C'mon, Shawn superkicking Hogan was awesome on July 4th. And the Smackdown! Halloween Special from '02 gave us the debut of RAPPER CENA, Brock Vs. Mysterio, Eddie Vs. Angle, plus Dawn and Torrie in some hot outfits wrestling...and Angle giving Benoit an Angle-Slam through a table only to have Benoit, in mid-move, break a bottle over his head. Plus Stephanie in that witch outfit with the giant bust, making out with Bischoff.

"it's that future predictions are based solely on the most recent performance." Actually Al, if you read my posts, you'd have seen that my predictions for their future were based on the fact that the team, for an entire season, not "recently", has been the best hitting NL club. That is why, combined with "keep them in the game" overachieving by useless slugs Jamie Moyer and Adam Eaton, along with new guys Durbin and Kendrick who have been effective, I think they have a chance. The pitching is the key. I'm skipping tonight's game and heading back to the Ballpark tomorrow and for the BPS on Thursday afternoon. Unless the bats are healthy, tonight's probably a big loss begind Eaton. With the way the rotation got worked out for this series I'm glad Eaton's pitching the game I'm missing, as Moyer, who has nothing left at this point, is somehow at least decent every other start. Eaton just needs to retire, and drop Mesa off a cliff on the way. I pray the Diamondbacks get some hits tonight. Aside from Eric Byrnes having a great game, they were asleep last night due to Peavy pitching a gem. Go Snakes!

Seeing Jayson Werth get a graphic on Baseball Tonight, much less for getting 9 hits in 9 straight at bats, is astounding. I'm a Phils homer and all, and Werth's pretty damn underrated...but c'mon, Jayson Werth 9-9? 1 away from the NL Record, 3 away from the MLB record.

Just got home from the Phillies whooping the Mets asses. Loved it. Durbin's either really really good or really really bad. Glad he pitched well tonight. I don't know how being 3 games out of the playoffs with the best offense in the league is "dead", but to whoever said that, uh, okay. As long as the pitching can keep them in the game and overachieve, the Phillies will be right there 'til the end. Plus the NL West is notoriously un-clutch at tight races or in the playoffs. Hope that continues.

Raw felt like it was 9 hours long tonight, and a comp. show of "Bad DX Skits", "Bad Cena Matches" (love his PPV work, his Raw matches are always coldsores of matches), and "Boring Non-Finishes". Mr. Kennedy continues to have awful matches (Super Crazy, last week w/ Carlito, tonight with Hardy). And Kennedy won't be McMahon's son.

But the Mets, Phillies, Padres and DBacks all playing each other affects teams that can realistically win a World Series when healthy. The Brewers and Cubs and Cardinals cannot win said Series. In a perfect world, none of these teams even have a good enough record to be IN the playoffs. But someone has to win the Central. DBacks/Padres is probably the series of the month. The Best Team in The NL and the Best Pitching in The NL That's Starting to Hit, respectively.

"the mother of Vince's 'son' turns out to be Sable" Kayfabe, they were fucking back in 2003.

I would've put Mets/Phillies or DBacks/Padres under the thread title as FAR more important series than those shitty NL Central teams, but oh well. I'm headed out to Phils/Mets tonight. I got tix for Wednesday's game, too, and sold the tickets for tomorrow already. On a related note, Brett Myers may be the biggest piece of white trash ever, and I hope he gets injured for further embarassing himself.

We have a kickass chinese buffet with like 5 tables of assorted food and ice cream, too. MON-THURS 12-4 PM is $5.99 MON-THURS 5-10 PM is $7.99 FRI-SUN 12-4 PM is $9.99 FRI-SUN 4-10 PM is $10.99 On weekends they have endless crabs. So good.

"They obviously want to set up an Extreme Rules blowoff by having Morrison have to cheat to win." Anyone else getting Deja Vu with this excuse for Punk losing every month? Why, exactly, would a match being no DQ or whatever HELP Punk? Morrison looked great in an Extreme Rules match against Dreamer. Since when is Punk some God of "Extreme Rules" matches? Has he even been in one? I'd be more worried about the titles that actually have a little bit of value left before you throw your arms up about the ECW European Title. The loud-ass "BORING" chants for Khali/Batista trumped the Taker/JBL Stinker from '04, and Cena has no credible challengers that can actually have a fun match.

Motion to close the Benoit thread since it's become a Chyna's dick discussion.

Cena winning is awesome. Long live huge title reigns and Orton was, thus far, the weakest challenger during the reign...who REALLY thought he was ending it? Haha.

500,000 buys for World Title Matches featuring Orton, Khali, and Morrison? I SAY THEE NAY.

The Temple Football Coach has come to the booth in the 5th inning of the Phillies game and brought his team's bad karma. :::3-run home run hit::: "I'll let you call that one. That's an uh-oh ball." :::solo homer hit::: "Oh man, let this stop." :::Nunez misses a ball::: "You guys better get me out of the booth."

Whiny girl Giles costs the Phillies a run. He doesn't want to get in Ruiz's face again or an ass-whooping will ensue. I loved the close-up shot of Maddux earlier in the inning when crappy Padres 3b missed the tag on Victorino. "FUCK!" Okay, the Padres 3b is probably not crappy, but he had Victorino dead to rights and just...missed him. Incredible. In other news, candy-bar eating fat kid Mike Zagurski has season ending surgery. Never liked him.

I can say that this will be by far be the worst SummerSlam ever. There isn't one match on this card of interest to me, even to see free.

Champ on hot seat August 20, 2007 As Raw heads into North Carolina’s Crown Coliseum in Fayetteville, it is clear that Randy Orton will do anything to weaken John Cena before their showdown over the WWE Championship at SummerSlam. Just a little more than a week before the Biggest Party of the Summer, the Legend Killer sent Cena and all WWE a message when he attacked The Champ from behind on Saturday Night’s Main Event and flattened him with a thunderous RKO on a steel chair. What is Cena’s condition going into Raw, with SummerSlam less than a week away? And will Orton send the WWE Champion yet another painful message? The identity of the WWE Superstar who is Mr. McMahon’s illegitimate child remains unknown as Jonathan Coachman appeared unable to get to the bottom of the mystery on Saturday Night’s Main Event. The Chairman has rejected Eugene, Melina and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin as his potential love children. Will there be new developments this Monday in the billionaire’s quest to find out which Superstar could be the fruit of the McMahon family tree? Also, with the matchup for kingly supremacy announced, how will King Booker prepare to face the returning 10-time World Champion, Triple H, at SummerSlam? Can Booker and Queen Sharmell scheme a way to hold onto their royal Raw kingdom? Finally, with the big Dating Game date between Ron Simmons and Maria scheduled, will the jealous Santino Marella find a way to throw an Italian-sized kink in the game-show machinations of Raw General Manager William Regal? We’ll find out Monday night in the Tarheel State, live at 9/8 CT on USA Network.

When a reporter asked Jimmy Rollins if the Phillies were the "MacGyver" of baseball, a reference to the 1985-92 television show starring Richard Dean Anderson as an extremely resourceful secret agent, Rollins laughed. "Yeah, with duct tape and Motrin," Rollins said. "We'll just keep finding ways to get it done." Got tix for 3 of the 4 Phils/Mets games! The one game I didn't get tickets for, stupidly (at the time) was the Monday opener, which would've been Hamels starting. Fucking injuries! And whoever said Charlie Manuel deserves MOTY, that was funny. As if Manuel has made one productive move this year (His bullpen use is comical, not the shittyness of the bullpen, his swapping in and out of said shit or taking starters out WAY too early, not to mention idiotic line-up combos, keeping Iguchi at second at bat, keeping Roward below Burrell, moving Rollins around, not benching Howard a game after blatantly dipshit at-bats, there's endless things here...). The Phillies offense is what keeps them treading water, let's be real here.

No, you're a mark for using a worker's status to put yourself over on a message board, actually. And you know better. Or maybe you are untrained, I don't know.

Brian Gerwitz spilling food all over Santino Marella wasn't funny. Ironically, Santino's "written material" became unfunny when Gerwitz was in a sketch.

Cole's taking that Cy Young before all is said and done. And Howard can win the MVP if A) The Phils made the playoffs (different than last year when they didn't, he's not having as good of a year), B)He finishes with the HR and RBI lead and C)He stops striking out twice a game.

"Oh, Ron, the boardwalk is so big! How will we make it all the way to 12th Street in time?" "TRAM!"

WWE.com Preview Any time Raw rolls into the mecca of sports-entertainment – New York City’s Madison Square Garden – the strangest, most outrageous and most shocking things occur. This Monday night will be no exception, as heated rivalries build ever hotter toward SummerSlam, a crowning achievement seems inevitable, and WWE’s Chairman may suffer the consequences of some unexpected paternal affairs. It was the mother – actually, father – of all bombshells last Monday, when Mr. McMahon was served a summons relating to a paternity suit for an illegitimate child. In the past, the Chairman has considered himself a “genetic jackhammer”; now it seems there may be truth to his statement. Does another McMahon exist out there, and if so, will the man who sired him own up to his parental responsibilities? WWE Champion John Cena has never been one to back down from his commitments; however, his Garden obligation Monday night must have him considering it on some level. As if facing his SummerSlam opponent, Randy Orton, and Carlito in a Tag Team Match wasn’t going to be bad enough, Cena must do so with a savage partner who tried to destroy him last week: Intercontinental Champion Umaga. How can The Champ possibly co-exist with the Samoan Bulldozer and fend off a calculated attack from two of Raw’s most cunning Superstars? Read the full story ... On top of everything else, Madison Square Garden will also host royalty this Monday night. After a momentary distraction by Queen Sharmell cost him his match last week, Jerry “The King” Lawler must hail King Booker and crown him in a Royal Coronation ceremony. How difficult will it be for Lawler, a wrestling “King” for more than 30 years, to swallow his royal pride and acknowledge Booker as His Majesty in the kingdom of sports-entertainment? For the answers to these questions and more, be sure to watch Raw in Madison Square Garden, live at 9/8 CT, only on USA Network.