UseTheSledgehammerUh

Well, Lita's dildo that Cryme Tyme stole and sold was wrapped up, but the shape was clearly of one. Vince will do anything.

WCW Monday Nitro - May 27, 1996 Live from Unannounced Hosted by Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko (Hour 1) Hosted by Eric Bischoff and Bobby Heenan (Hour 2) First 2-Hour Edition of Monday Nitro The American Males Vs. Ric Flair & Arn Anderson (with Woman & Miss Elizabeth) The American Males come out doing "the clap" and a few male fans in the crowd do so, as well, ensuring a beatdown the next morning from their classmates. Flair and Riggs start, and Ric dumps him to the floor where the Horsemen work him over. They try it again but the Males fight back, with Bagwell dropkicking Flair repeatedly and Riggs punching Arn to the floor. My God, the whole arena is doing the "Clap". Bagwell and Arn fight on the floor, with Anderson getting the worst of it. We go to commercial. We're back with Bagwell fighting out of the Horsemen corner, dominating both wrestlers, and backdropping Flair. Riggs gets tagged in and almost immediately gets beaten down by Arn & Flair. Arn works on his right leg. Flair pours Schiavone & Zbyszko some champagne while he's wrestling Riggs. All year Riggs has been portrayed as the much "weaker" member of the team. Arn continues to work the leg. Flair delivers the shinbreaker. Riggs hits a desperation enzugiri on Anderson and sends him to the floor. Riggs crawls as Flair and the referee shove each other...and...finally...tags Bagwell! Bagwell with big right hands for the Horsemen. Dropkick for Arn. Backdrop for Flair. Beautiful missle dropkick off the top for Flair! Small package gets reversed several times, but only gets Bagwell two. Bagwell delivers the fisherman's suplex, his finishing maneuever, but Anderson breaks up the count. Bagwell attempts a pin on Flair, but Woman rakes his eyes, and Anderson hits a DDT. Flair makes the easy pin at 9:55. **. Okay match, end result never in doubt. With commercials this was about 14 minutes, so you can see the result of giving Nitro two hours already. Post-match, Gene Okerlund interviews the Horsemen. Anderson doesn't fear football players and Flair can easily get Mongo's wife. They don't need any special pads or gear. Flair sings! "Skyrockets at night, WHOOO! Afternoon delight!" Flair is ranting like a lunatic about baseball, then starts kissing the women and insulting McMichael. Classic crazy Flair. Okerlund cuts Flair off towards the end of the interview as he rants about Elizabeth's bankroll. An incredibly boring "workout video" airs showing Steve McMichael & Kevin Greene hitting the weights in the gym. Steve Doll Vs. The Mauler (with Col. Rob Parker) Good God, who's idea was THIS match? The Mauler is Mike Enos with leather chaps over his tights. He pounds away on Doll, screams a lot, and then hits a sick fallaway slam off the second rope. Mauler charges at Doll and both men go over the top rope, then do some brawling on the floor. It's like a time vortex sucked in some AWA wrestlers with no heat and put them on this Nitro. Mauler posts Doll. We go to commercial. During THIS? Mauler drops Doll across the top-rope as the crowd is reacting to something. And it's the wrestler formerly known as Razor Ramon from the WWF, in a denim outfit walking through the crowd toward the ring! "Razor" hops the guardrail, gets a microphone, and enters the ring. Doll has disappeared and Mauler stands there pissed off, but Parker persuades him to head for the locker room. * at 3:15 for a no-contest and not the best choice for a match to hook viewers for what seems like a big angle with "Razor". He's on the mic...you know who he is but not why he's there. He mocks Ted Turner and Randy Savage, then says he goes wherever he wants. The announcers are sppechless. He has a scoop for "Scheme Gene", and threatens to lay down a challenge later to "that Ken Doll wannabe" Eric Bischoff. The challenge is for "Dubya-See-Dubya, A Yuck Yuck", because if they wanted a war, they just got one. Schiavone and Zbyszko can't explain what's happened. Sgt. Craig Pittman (with Teddy Long) Vs. "Diamond" Dallas Page Page mocks Pittman, but that's a mistake, firing up the "Pitbull" and getting into a losing battle on the mat. Pittman has an awful mohawk haircut, and Zbyszko claims Long has softened him up. They do some silly, sloppy wrestling, and Page hits an ultra-sloppy "neck snap" on the top rope to take Pittman down. Pittman alledgedly locks on the "Code Red", but it's on wrong. Page shoves Teddy Long, and Pittman goes to check on him, allowing Page to hit a nice "Diamond Cutter" to absolute silence for the pin at 2:59. * for an awful match. A special video takes a look at Randy Savage's mental instability, attack on a WCW referee, confrontation with an executive, arrests on television, banishment from the arena, and losing his money to Elizabeth & Flair. Gene Okerlund Interview with The Shark Shark says Kevin Sullivan threw him out of the Dungeon of Doom, so Shark is angry and wants to take Giant's WCW World Title tonight. Giant's just the new "big man on campus". A special video takes a look at Hulk Hogan and his celebrity friends. George Foreman, Shaquille O'Neal, Dennis Rodman, Kevin Greene, "Sugar" Ray Leonard are shown. Hogan's TV work in "Thunder in Paradise" and "Baywatch" are shown, and his movies are mentioned. Bischoff & Heenan welcome Hour #2, with Heenan ranting about how Flair & Anderson will embarass the football players. Bischoff won't even dignify the earlier interruption by the former Razor Ramon. The Shark Vs. WCW World Heavyweight Champion The Giant (with Jimmy Hart) Giant's really ripped here. Shark has shark teeth painted on his face. Shark jumps him but a Giant headbutt shrugs him off. Giant takes him off his feet with a clothesline, then stands on him. Shark with a double-axehandle from the second rope and some big forearms. Shark can't bodyslam The Giant. But The Giant can bodyslam The Shark with ease! More shoulderblocks in the corner from Giant. This is horrible. Shark with some thrilling shoulderblocks. Giant eats a big boot in the corner. Shark hits a clothesline off the second rope. Shark grabs Jimmy Hart, but Giant is up, delivers the Chokeslam, and gets the pin at 4:01. A generous *. Big Bubba comes into the ring and cuts/shaves half of The Shark's head bald. Maxx Vs. WCW Television Champion Lex Luger Maxx looks like Mike Awesome with a mohawk. Luger's still one-half of the World Tag Team Champions with Sting. Lex is in full babyface mode, slapping all the fans' hands and waving hello. Maxx is DDP's ex-bodyguard and generic big 'roid monster. Even Bischoff makes fun of his hair. Maxx hits some shoulderblocks. Wow, this Nitro has just been hideous. Lex with a running clothesline. And another. But he runs into a Maxx powerslam. Maxx kicks him many times. Yawn. Side-slam gets Maxx two. Maxx gets a headbutt. And elbowdrop. And clothesline. The #1 Contender to the WCW World Title is getting worked over by a guy called "Maxx". Maxx eats a boot in the corner. Luger with the running bionic forearm, which Bischoff claims "dropped Yokozuna like a sack of rocks". Luger alledgedly hits a powerslam. He tries once, then again to lift up Maxx in the "Torture Rack", and finally gets him up, with Maxx submitting after 5:44 of putting me through hell. * for remembering they have a Television title for a week. Gene Okerlund interviews Lex Luger afterwards. Luger doesn't make the matches, so don't blame him for suddenly getting DDP's title shot out of nowhere. They replay Luger getting chokeslammed through the table from 2 weeks ago. Luger can't believe he did it and tried to take him out. Luger wants every "big man" WCW has before he wrestles The Giant! This couldn't get any worse. Wait...this is great... "Hardwork" Bobby Walker Vs. Brad Armstrong "He's been training very hard. Probably harder than anyone else. Hence the handle - 'Hardwork' Bobby Walker", claims Bischoff. Arm drag from Walker, but Armstrong gets one of his own. Armstrong isn't giving Walker any clean breaks. Armstrong monkey flips Walker, but Walker lands on his feet, and falls. Then Walker leaps to the top rope, and slips off, then gets back up and hitting a cross-body for two. Armstrong slows down Captain Botch with an armbar. Walker gets a headscissors on the mat. You can hear a pin drop in the arena. More basic matwork. Brad seems to be heeling out here. Small package and a backslide both get Walker a two count. Backdrop by Walker. Walker jumps to the second rope...WAIT FOR IT...then hops to the top and falls AGAIN (!), then gets back up and dives towards Armstrong with a headbutt. Walker gets the pin at 4:26 to end this. * for some mat stuff, but wow did Walker aggrivate the 5 people paying attention with his slipping all over the place. Bischoff tries to cover for him, at least. Lord Steven Regal (with Jeeves) Vs. Alex Wright This should be good. Regal with a fancy arm-drag, but Wright kips up and cartwheels to regain the momentum. Wright does it again to escape a Regal take-down. Two high-arching flying headscissors take Regal to the arena floor. Wright hits Regal with a baseball slide, then delivers a plancha as we go to commercial break. We're back with Regal poking the eyes to gain control. Regal grinds Wright into the mat with a headlock and palm strikes. Wright dodges a European Uppercut and hits a belly-to-belly suplex, but Regal's back in control quickly after. Bischoff apologizes for the interruption earlier, then calls Wright "green". They trade European Uppercuts, Wright backflips off the top rope, and gets a roll-up for two. Wright gets a high dropkick. Backdrop on Regal. Running elbow in the corner, and then, uh, a "standing, jumping back wheel kick". What? Wright tries a monkey flip out of the corner, but Regal blocks it and rolls him up nicely for the pin at 7:15. **, they tried, but the crowd is asleep and they've done better. Gene Okerlund is in the ring to interview Regal. Regal calls Alex Wright "Junior Adolf", HA! He talks about all the wackiness going on in WCW, and wants to have his say. Regal lays down a challenge to Sting, so that he can beat him and get a shot at the "bloody circus freak we have for a champion". Scott Steiner Vs. Sting First-ever singles match between these two. Sting is half of the World Tag Team Champions with Luger. The Steiners want the belts. They shake hands. Armdrag from Scott. Hiptoss from Sting. Scott hits two forearm smashes and a gorilla press! Nice criss-cross sequence ends with a Sting dropkick. Nice flying back elbow off the second-rope by Sting, and a clothesline sends Scott to the floor. Slingshot plancha by the "Stinger" takes Scott down! Back in, Scott hits an awesome double-underhook powerbomb. Spinning belly-to-belly suplex sends Sting to the floor. Scott flies off the top with a double-axehandle to the floor. Good match so far. Scott runs full steam into a Sting boot, but catches Sting with an overhead release belly-to-belly suplex. Crowd's still asleep. Bischoff mentions WCW always has back-up microphones for the anouncers, and I'm guessing the mics went out on Monday Night Raw a week ago or something. Scott works over Sting on the mat as things have slowed way down. Scott tries a suplex but Sting reverses it into an inverted DDT. Stinger Splash! But a second one misses! Holy crap Sting just took a Dragon Suplex from Scott! Here comes Lex Luger to cheer on Sting. And here comes Rick Steiner to even things up. Scott delivers a Samoan Drop off the second-rope. Sting dodges the "Frankensteiner" and puts the Scorpion Deathlock on, but Scott's in the ropes. Scotty tries a tombstone piledriver, but Sting reverses it and kills Scott with one of his own! Sting gets caught attempting a splash and goes to the apron. Sting suplexes Scott to the arena floor, and Luger gets involved, breaking up another suplex attempt. Lex and Rick get into a slugfest, and Lex runs into the ring. The Steiners and Sting & Luger get into a big brawl as the undercarders hit the ring to break it up at 10:14. ** 1/2 for a good little bout that was killed by the dead crowd, ending in a no-contest. At the announcer's table, the former "Razor Ramon" hits the booth and claims that "WE are sick of your big mouth." Get three of Billionaire Ted's best, like "The Nacho Man" or "The Stinger" to stand up for WCW. "...'cause WE are taking over. You want a war? You got one. Let's do it in the ring where it matters. 'Cuz WE are coming down here, and like it or not, we are taking over." Bischoff gets a toothpick flicked at his face as they sign off.

Live report from someone else @ CZW site, 7th row hard camera: "That was me! I had a Vince Fears Necro! sign. They took it 1 or 2 matches into it. I asked why, he said nothing. I responded by saying it was about Katie Vick and HHH and it almost worked. Then he said no and asked me if I wanted to make something out of it. My friend had a Bring Back Machoman Randy Savage sign. They took that also and that really baffles me, because before the show they played a video with him all over it and I believe the Survivor Series opening video had him in it. Then I was chanting Fuck You Cena, like about 1/2 crowd. This security lady came up to me and said stop cursing there are kids. I said I'm sorry, then I thought about it, there was a DILDO in the ring tonight. I asked her if that was appropriate for kids she got really mad at that point and told me to keep quiet. Security was really fired up tonight. They must of taken at least 20 signs at ringside and had talkings to a lot of people for random things. That's a lot worse than they where at Raw over the summer and that on regular TV."

Back in my day, Bob and I would banter back & forth with pages of flames in the TV folder, no less. Ah well, thems be the new rules, I guess.

"ok, but to say 'Stick in a fork in RVD'..." Read the points I have prepared and see if you change your mind, Scroby. It deals with how RVD's credibility and interest have been destroyed since July 4th. - Rob Van Dam was a very popular holder of both the WWE and ECW World Titles. - He lost both titles on consecutive live television broadcasts. - ECW celebrated its return to Philadelphia by jobbing RVD to THE BIG SHOW. - RVD was not seen on TV for a month. - He comes back and HE IS LEFT OFF OF SUMMERSLAM. - RVD then gets into a feud with HARDCORE HOLLY, proven ratings nightmare. - The big "RVD Vs. Show" rematch is seen on ECW TV on back-to-back weeks, drawing in no new viewers and setting up ANOTHER rematch. By the way, perhaps due to Show's injured state, BOTH MATCHES ARE AWFUL. That screams "I'll pay to see it again!" - So the story in ECW is "Okay RVD, you got your title match." What does WWE do? GIVES 4 OTHER PEOPLE A TITLE SHOT, TOO! Such faith in RVD as a draw! - CM Punk is put with DX and given a big rub in Philadelphia. - Lashley is brought to ECW and subsequently bulldozes through Show and Holly in 1 week...damn, that RVD needed months to get the best of them! - RVD comes back to Philly... AND GETS PINNED BY FUCKING TEST CLEANLY. "Hell its not like they were the only two who were booked badly tonight." Other wrestlers' storylines doesn't change the fact that Van Dam continues to be jostled down the card in ECW and he is booked badly tonight. The emotional payoff for the Philly fans was non-existant after the July 4th bullshit that probably killed 1/2 of Philly's ECW viewership. Now I'm hoping that RVD *doesn't* get the belt at the PPV in a week, just because it'll hurt the company, being that the marks now see RVD as the #3 babyface and the smarks don't see any competition for Van Dam outside of the terrible Test, Holly, Knox, and Show.

"Hawk is obligated to say that a women's match involving Mickie was the highlight of the show." Hawk is right, though, he's not being a smartass. The women's match was the co-best match on the show. It was decent-good, with weak "punches" but great transitions, false finishes, and execution. I give that and the U.S. Title match both ** 1/2. Best matches on the show. Dunno about Cole, but Jim Ross, VERY quickly during the DX match, mentioned that Orton had survived the past three years.

Everything's up to date for Survivor Series '06. Got rid of a lot of dead weight. Check it out.

Oh, and anyone who actually saw the show... How AWESOME was Taker's chairshot post-match on Kennedy!!?? Wow, Kennedy took it full on, and the flat part of the seat actually folded and Kennedy's head pushed through it. Taker swung it so hard, too.

MVP in with a chair. Ref fights with him over it. JBL and Cole claim MVP has the chair to hit Kennedy. Ref gets bumped to the ground, MVP turns around swinging the chair and hits Taker. MVP hit an okay chairshot, with Taker having both hands up way in advance, and the chair clearly hitting the hands. Taker gushed blood. Ref sees it. Match over. WHAT A FINISH...awful as it sounds. I have no idea why they'd even tease MVP v. Kennedy, as Cole said "I'm not sure Undertaker was MVP's target there!" MVP is nowhere near over enough to help Kennedy get face heat and sustain it.

CM Punk held down the heel team tonight.

X-Factor has been my favorite comic this year. Booze, cool third-rate mutants, sex, and great writing.

When Chavo and Lita are involved in the co-matches of the night on a "Big 4" PPV, there is a problem. Where to begin? The most anticipated main event type match is a SQUASH. A SQUASH. They should have named Survivor Series "Babyfaces on Parade". Lita/Mickie was actually pretty good, eons better than their Cyber Sunday match with some nice false finishes. Stick a fork in RVD. Chavo actually worked harder and looked good, decent little match with Benoit. Lashley and Batista are this decade's Diesel and Ahmed. Welcome to the new generation all over again of big powerhouses who blow. Why didn't they just book MVP Vs. Undertaker and save Kennedy from his accidental involvement in the match and subsequent destruction? Hey JHawk, so much for tradition. Would they go your route and do 12 min. and 25-30 min. SS matches? Would they go my route and give two long matches? Somewhere in the middle? Nope. They gave both the fun, good workers and lumbering oafs very short, unentertaining matches. Like bad Raw main events, they were. So much for Orton's cool little streak. The Cryme Tyme thing was neat but dragged. Survivor Series gets an "F", November was a huge trainwreck for WWE PPVs coming off a nice No Mercy show. Aero said: "Couldn't sit through SummerSlam, Unforgiven, or Cyber Sunday." You missed two **** matches at No Mercy and Regal stealing the show.

The Hellfire Club were psychic images created by Cassandra Nova.

We'll see. But keep this in mind: In 2003 and 2004, the shorter matches featured the "B-Show" main eventers. '03 featured Smackdown w/ guys like Morgan, Jones, Holly, Bradshaw, A-Train, who were all fodder and quickly eliminated. '04 featured Smackdown again, and was very one-sided. Totally different dynamic this year, with a good mix of strong workers and/or uppercarders from each show mixed together. I feel that both of the "big" SS matches will be given 20-30 minutes, plus entrances.

If Rutgers beats West Virginia by say 3-7 points, could you tell me what you think their ranking would be heading into the Bowl Games and what Bowl they'd likely be in?

"Cena/Show: 12 minutes" No chance in hell.

Oh yeah, if you like "THEY WERE ALL A DREAM!" endings to previously good stories, then you'll love this arc... To be honest, I really liked the first 5 parts of the story, especially Kitty's involvement and Beast chasing Wolverine around. But wow. Way to have a good story end like crap because your superstar writer is basically castrated from the rest of the Marvel Universe.

(Boogeyman's entrance) "And it is the main event. And it is from Smackdown!. World Championship on the line..." - Michael Cole. (Earlier match) "Smackdown! has the main event at the Survivor Series for two reasons: King Booker and Batista." -JBL It's the main event. I know my semantics. "And tonight, it's a special MAIN EVENT MATCH as The Demon faces..."

Because Angle picked a fight with LAX by getting involved in their business and they're evil and hurt people. Rhyno was out there to celebrate because he was happy Daniels and Styles fixed their problems unlike Rhyno and Christian. See the Genesis PPV when Rhyno plays Dr. Phil.

By the way... Batista Vs. King Booker is the MAIN EVENT for the Survivor Series, as announced on Smackdown!. So change those predictions. Wow, in a span of 11 months, Philadelphia got: Batista vacating the World Heavyweight Title Angle winning the World Heavyweight Title Edge winning the WWE Title Big Show winning the ECW Title Batista winning the World Heavyweight Title? Bet that never happens again in one town. 10 bucks says the scroll that Batista and Long signed says "Batista never gets a title shot" or "Non-Title Match".

Kendrick/Regal, Yang/Helms, Benoit/Finley, and hell, even Kane/MVP were four AWESOME matches. I nominate this for free TV show (Raw/Smackdown/ECW/TNA) of the year.

They definately edited the Joe/Angle promo. When Angle is talking they do a BLIP camera switch and he begins a new sentence.

I advise you go to PWTorrents, where sign-ups are/were open.

"I'm suprised I haven't seen that much bitching about the fact that the champ is no way involved in the main event. Speaking of Cena..." It's Survivor Series. Same thing happened in 1989, 1991, 1994, and 2000. Weakest of the "Big 5/Big 4" PPVs so no one really cares, I suppose. I hope SS pops a huge buyrate somehow (not bloody likely with two PPVs already in November and another one, brand-exclusive, just around the corner) and WWE makes next year have like 5-6 elim. matches. Predictions: Dusty Rhodes wishes Batista good luck backstage. Batista PINS BOOKER to win the title. Then the original referee reverses the decision and awards the match to Booker by DQ b/c of Batista using a chair, etc. This year's "screw job". Benoit over Chavo, hopefully. Team RKO over Team DX. Team Cena over Team Show. Lashley pins Show to win it. Umaga and Cena get DQ'd. Mickie over Lita. "Na na na na..." chant for Lita. Ross calls Philly an "edgy EXTREME city". Legends over Squad, no Legends are eliminated. Kennedy over Taker.

Does anyone think that "Sports Entertainment XTreme" could make a return? I ask this, because on the Genesis PPV, Mike Tenay, in both Sabin and Styles' matches keeps subtlely saying that "something is CAUSING (either name) to act this way...". Could the something be Russo, looking to bring back his two most successful SEX members to the heel side? Stranger things have happened. Note that Low-Ki tonight looked very disgruntled as well...