JoeDirt

Sylvain Grenier picked him up at the bar by asking "Can I push in your stool?"

Pictures and a story are here: http://www.noreastuncensored.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=337

Not really...I think it's just the usual face vs. heel booking. Plus, they're leading to a divas battle royal at Taboo Tuesday, so they're getting them all involved now.

I don't think Vince would fire someone for using steroids... It has to be worse than that.

FULL LINEUPS FOR QUADRUPLE SHOT! ------------------------------------------------------------- IWA Mid-South Wrestling, in association with NWA Midwest, returns to action with another quadruple shot of events! The lineups have been announced. There has been a slight change in a few of the matches on the Bloomington and Evansville shows, as TNA management had to pull both Petey Williams and Alex Shelley from the shows due to their flight schedule for Wrestle Aid in Japan. As a result, the scheduled Williams vs. Sabin vs. Shelley 3-way in Bloomington now becomes Sabin vs. Christopher Daniels. The scheduled 4-way in Evansville with Styles vs. Sabin vs. Daniels vs. Williams will now have CM Punk in Williams' place (Punk was originally to face Shelley in Evansville). Here's all the card information for each stop, just over a week away! ------ WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 20TH - BLOOMINGTON, INDIANA National Guard Armory - 3380 S. Old State Road 37 Bell time 7:30pm - Tickets $20 front row, $15 general ***IWA World Heavyweight Title Match*** [Champion] "Anarchist" ARIK CANNON vs. RODERICK STRONG "The Phenomenal" AJ STYLES vs. CHRIS CANDIDO CM PUNK vs. SUPER DRAGON "Fallen Angel" CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. CHRIS SABIN SAMOA JOE vs. RYAN BOZ "Sexy" ACE STEEL vs. AUSTIN ARIES MERCEDES MARTINEZ vs. TRACY BROOKS "Spyder" NATE WEBB vs. CHAD COLLYER "Double C" CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI vs. BRANDON THOMASELLI IAN ROTTEN vs. DAVEY ANDREWS EDDIE KINGSTON & BLACK JACK MARCIANO vs. EVAN STARSMORE & ANTHONY FRANCO SHANE HAGADORN vs. MATT TURNER ------ THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21ST - EVANSVILLE, INDIANA National Guard Armory - 3300 Division Street Bell time 7:30pm - All seats $15 ***IWA World Heavyweight Title Match*** [Champion] "Anarchist" ARIK CANNON vs. AUSTIN ARIES ***Four-Way Special Attraction*** "Fallen Angel" CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. CM PUNK vs. "The Phenomenal" AJ STYLES vs. CHRIS SABIN ***Battle of the Big Men*** SAMOA JOE vs. ABYSS ***Challenge Match/Collyer's Request*** NIGEL McGUINNESS vs. CHAD COLLYER CHRIS CANDIDO vs. DANNY DANIELS RODERICK STRONG vs. "Sexy" ACE STEEL BJ WHITMER vs. SUPER DRAGON JC BAILEY vs. RYAN BOZ MERCEDES MARTINEZ vs. MsCHIF ------ FRIDAY, OCTOBER 22ND - LAFAYETTE, INDIANA National Guard Armory - 5220 East 200 South Bell time 7:30pm - Tickets $20, $15, $12 "The Revolution 2004" Strong Style Tournament ***First Round Match*** SAMOA JOE vs. AUSTIN ARIES ***First Round Match*** RODERICK STRONG vs. BJ WHITMER ***First Round Match*** EDDIE KINGSTON vs. SUPER DRAGON ***First Round Match*** HOMICIDE vs. B-BOY ***Eight Man Tag Team Special Attraction*** CM PUNK & "Sexy" ACE STEEL & "The Phenomenal" AJ STYLES & MATT SYDAL vs. "Anarchist" ARIK CANNON & CHRIS CANDIDO & DELIRIOUS & "Double C" CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI RYAN BOZ vs. ABYSS MERCEDES MARTINEZ vs. DAIZEE HAZE EVAN STARSMORE & ANTHONY FRANCO vs. DAVEY ANDREWS & MATT TURNER "Spyder" NATE WEBB vs. SHANE HAGADORN ------ SATURDAY, OCTOBER 23RD - HIGHLAND, INDIANA Lincoln Center - 2450 Lincoln Street Bell time 7pm, Ceremonies 6:30pm, Meet & Greet 3pm Tickets $40, $25, $20, $15 (the bleachers are back!) Meet & Greet and Anniversary t-shirt are exclusive to $40 ticket holders "IWA Mid-South's 8th Anniversary Show" ***IWA World Heavyweight Title Match*** [Champion] "Anarchist" ARIK CANNON vs. "The Phenomenal" AJ STYLES ***Tag Team Grudge Match*** IAN ROTTEN & "American Dream" DUSTY RHODES vs. CHRIS CANDIDO & "Metalhead" STEVE STONE ***IWA Light Heavyweight Title/First Blood Match*** [Champion] JIMMY JACOBS vs. DELIRIOUS ***IWA World Tag Team Title Match*** [Champions] EDDIE KINGSTON & BLACK JACK MARCIANO vs. HOMICIDE & B-BOY ***Six-Man Tag Team Attraction*** SAMOA JOE & CM PUNK & "Sexy" ACE STEEL vs. AUSTIN ARIES & RODERICK STRONG & NIGEL McGUINNESS ***NWA Midwest/IWA Mid-South Women's Title Match*** [Champion] MERCEDES MARTINEZ vs. MICKIE KNUCKLES ***Former Tag Team Partners Collide*** DANNY DANIELS vs. BJ WHITMER ***Six-Way Match/One Fall*** DAVEY ANDREWS vs. ANTHONY FRANCO vs. MATT TURNER vs. SHANE HAGADORN vs. EVAN STARSMORE vs. "Spyder" NATE WEBB MATT SYDAL vs. CHRIS SABIN "Double C" CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI vs. CHAD COLLYER RYAN BOZ vs. ABYSS Driving directions to each of the venues can be found at http://www.freewebs.com/iwamidsouth/directions.html Call the IWA hotlines at 502-569-1701 in Louisville and 630-585-3958 in Chicago CHEERLEADER MELISSA & CINDY ROGERS ADDED TO 11/20! ------------------------------------------------------------- IWA Mid-South Wrestling is happy to announce two new additions to the next IWA-MS Women's show, to take place Saturday afternoon, November 20th, at the Lincoln Center in Highland, Indiana. West coast based wrestler CHEERLEADER MELISSA has been signed to compete on the card, in addition to our event on Friday, November 19th in Lafayette. Melissa comes to us from All Pro Wrestling in California, and has competed overseas in Japan for the Arsion promotion, in addition to touring Europe. The esteemed Cauliflower Alley Club honred Melissa as a "Future Legend" at their 2004 banquet, and she is highly regarded as one of the top female wrestlers in North America today. For more info on Melissa, visit http://www.cheerleadermelissa.com/ and check out http://www.clickwrestle.com/ for some of her matches. East coast based competitor CINDY ROGERS has also been added to our 11/20 Highland women's card. Cindy is a product of New Jersey's Monster Factory, and regularly appears for Afa The Wild Samoan's WXW promotion in Pennsylvania, which featured Cindy as part of its Elite Eight women's tournament this past weekend. Visit http://www.maelstormm.com/cindy/ for more on Cindy Rogers. The 11/20 women's show roster now looks like this: NWA Midwest/IWA Mid-South Women's Champion MERCEDES MARTINEZ, former champ LACEY, TNA's TRACY BROOKS, east coast competitor and GLORY Champ ARIEL, DAIZEE HAZE, MICKIE KNUCKLES, MsCHIF, California's SARA DEL RAY, CHEERLEADER MELISSA, and CINDY ROGERS. Look for more additions to the women's show in the coming weeks! www.iwamidsouthwrestling.com www.midwestwrestling.com

Thanks SD. The Jamie Knoble ass cheek infection thing is weird.

Weighing in at 235 pounds..."The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels!

I was hoping for GUITAR on a POLE~!~!~!

Plus, you can't go wrong with Paul London on PPV.

Maybe they'll have "exclusive footage" of someone on the roster attacking him at the bar, who knows. At least that would set up a feud for him (probably with CCC) when he gets back.

I'd definitely bet on it being a work. If Cena really got beat up in a nightclub, why would they mention in on RAW? He probably got "jumped" by Carlito Caribbean Cool or something, who knows.

OLD SCHOOL SHOW OF THE DAY FOR 10/6/04: HALLOWEEN HAVOC 1994 I thought I'd start a daily or so thread where I post an old WWF, WCW, or maybe even ECW PPV and we all post our thoughts about it on here. Have you seen the show? What matches were good? Bad? Did you like the show? Post any thoughts or comments about it here! Our first show is the Hogan/Flair retirement match (HA!) show, Halloween Havoc 1994! ===================================================== Halloween Havoc 1994 October 23,1994 in Detroit, MI Joe Louis Arena drawing 14,000 ($189,000) Shown live on PPV (0.97) 1. Booker T pinned Brian Armstrong. (DARK MATCH) 2. WCW TV Champ Johnny B. Badd drew Honkytonk Man (10:00). 3. Paul Orndorff & Paul Roma beat Patriot & Marcus Bagwell (13:47) to win the WCW Tag Title when Orndorff pinned Bagwell. 4. Dave Sullivan beat Kevin Sullivan (5:17) via countout. 5. Dustin Rhodes pinned Arn Anderson (9:50). 6. WCW U.S. Champ Jim Duggan beat Steve Austin (8:02) via DQ. 7. Vader pinned The Guardian Angel (8:17). 8. The Nasty Boys beat Terry Funk & Bunkhouse Buck (7:56) when Knobbs pinned Funk. 9. WCW World Champ Hulk Hogan pinned Ric Flair (19:25) in a "steel cage retirement" match. Mr. T was the special referee.

Well yeah, he not only created the Rumble, but I think he layed out how it would go every year. I wonder if there will be a noticeable difference in the product or not when he's gone.

I'm looking for any RAW or Nitro from 1997 or 1998 that I don't have. It'd be cool to get a collection of 3-4 on each tape, so I don't get cluttered with too many tapes. Or if you know anywhere that puts them on DVD, that would be cool too. Let me know what you have, since I have some stuff from 1997 and a little from 1998, but still want a lot more. I'm also looking for a good deal on a WCW Great American Bash 1997 pay per view. I might add more here as I think of more stuff I want. Thanks!

Didn't Patterson always help book and set up the Royal Rumble, too?

Keep the votes coming!

There's a lot of talk on the CZWFans.com board right now about this shit. Moral of the story: Support Chikara!

More matches announced tonight for the 10/20 and 10/23 shows... 10/20 Bloomington Show --------------------------------- CM Punk vs. Super Dragon Ace Steel vs. Austin Aries Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley AJ Styles vs. Chris Candido Samoa Joe vs. Ryan Boz 10/23 Highland show -------------------------------- Arik Cannon vs. AJ Styles Ian Rotten and Dusty Rhodes vs. Chris Candido and Steve Stone Wildcards vs. B-Boy and Homicide BJ Whitmer vs. Danny Daniels Joe/Punk/Steel vs. Aries/Strong/Nigel Mercedes Martinez vs. Mickie Knuckles

Posted by Prazak... ====================================================== Headlines: --REVOLUTION 2004 FIRST ROUND ANNOUNCED!! --BIG JAPAN STARS IN ACTION THIS THURS & SAT!! --FULL RESULTS FROM IWA EAST COAST 10/5!! FIRST ROUND PAIRINGS FOR STRONG STYLE TOURNEY ----------------------------------------------- The first round matches for IWA Mid-South Wrestling's "The Revolution 2004" strong style tournament, to be held on Friday night, October 22nd at the National Guard Armory (5220 East 200 South) in Lafayette, IN have been set. SAMOA JOE vs. AUSTIN ARIES RODERICK STRONG vs. BJ WHITMER SUPER DRAGON vs. EDDIE KINGSTON HOMICIDE vs. B-BOY In addition to the eight man tournament that night, several non-tournament bouts will take place on the card as well, featuring the likes of CM PUNK, "Sexy" ACE STEEL, "The Phenomenal" AJ STYLES, CHRIS CANDIDO, "Double C" CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI, MERCEDES MARTINEZ, LACEY, DAIZEE HAZE, and more. More matches for the quadruple shot week (Oct 20 through Oct 23) will be officially announced at the weekly IWA-MS Tuesday night chat session this coming Tuesday, October 12th. The IWA-MS chats are held at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/iwamidsouth/ in the chat area. Just added to the quadruple shot events: CM Punk's first graduating class of students from the ROH wrestling school! Also, mark your calendars for Thursday, October 28th, as the New Albany event on that night will feature "The IWA Mid-South/NWA Wildside Challenge" pitting the stars of IWA-MS against stars of NWA Wildside in a series of matches. We will also have an event on Friday, October 29th (location to be announced shortly) for those looking to make the trip. THURS 10/7 NEW ALBANY; SAT 10/9 SCOTTSBURG ----------------------------------------------- IWA Mid-South Wrestling is back in action this Thursday night, October 7th, with a live event at the National Guard Armory (2909 Grant Line Road) in New Albany, IN, just minutes outside of Louisville! Bell time is 7:30pm. All seats are just $10 and will be available at the door. Ringside seats can be reserved in advance by leaving your name and how many tickets you'd like held on the IWA Louisville hotline voicemail at 502-569-1701. ***Grudge Match/Former Tag Team Partners*** CHRIS HERO vs. NIGEL McGUINNESS IAN ROTTEN vs. ZACH GOWEN RYUJI ITO vs. JC BAILEY "Spyder" NATE WEBB vs. DAISUKE SEKIMOTO DANNY DANIELS vs. TRUTH MARTINI Plus DELIRIOUS, MAD MAN PONDO, "Double C" CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI, BRANDON THOMASELLI, and more IWA stars in action! Then IWA-MS returns to the National Guard Armory (1015 S. Main Street) in Scottsburg, IN this Saturday night, October 9th. Bell time is 7:30pm. All seats are just $10 and will be available at the door. This will be our return to Scottsburg after an eleven month absense from the venue, and we're looking to make it a usual stop on the schedule, given fan support locally. The Scottsburg Armory is located less than one mile off Exit 29 on I-65. A battle royal will begin the Scottsburg event, with the order of elimination to determine the match pairings for the rest of the night. Signed for competition on both our Thursday, 10/7 event in New Albany, as well as Saturday, 10/9 in Scottsburg: Big Japan Pro Wrestling stars Ryuji Ito and Daisuke Sekimoto, in addition to your IWA favorites. Don't miss the rare opportunity to see these international stars live! Directions to the venues can be found at http://www.freewebs.com/iwamidsouth/directions.html IWA EAST COAST RESULTS 10/5 NITRO, WV ----------------------------------------------- IWA East Coast held its debut event this past Tuesday night, October 5th, at the Community Center in Nitro, West Virginia before approximately 250 fans. Here are your results... 1. ZACH GOWEN def. EL DRUNKO following a moonsault. 2. MICKIE KNUCKLES def. ALLISON DANGER with a northern lights suplex. 3. CHRIS HERO def. "Double C" CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI with a frankensteiner into a rollup. 4. DAISUKE SEKIMOTO def. IAN ROTTEN with a human torture rack. 5. MAD MAN PONDO def. RYUJI ITO after outside interference by 2 TUFF TONY. 6. ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER def. THE NECRO BUTCHER in the main event of the evening with an elbowdrop. The event will be released shortly at www.smartmarkvideo.com for those interested. For more info on IWA East coast, visit http://www.iwaeastcoast.com/ _________________

Thoughts? Comments? Agree? Disagree? Credit goes to OnlineOnslaught.com. ======================================================== "I mean, what nobody seems to understand about this business is that it has nothing to do with wrestling. It's entertainment. If you can wrestle, that's just icing on the cake. Well, I mean, you DO have to be able to wrestle... but what I'm saying is it's character driven -- NOT gimmick driven -- but character driven, and there's a major difference." -- Raven, shortly before tearing your Humble Webmaster a new asshole during an interview Raven spoke those words back in 2000, back when I was still pretending to be on the fringes of the wrestling business and could land such interviews. And he was talking specifically about Brian Pillman when he spoke them. And yet, here in the Year of Our Lord 2004, I find myself flashing back to this snippet of conversation when I try to put a singular explanation to exactly what it is that has happened to my beloved pro wrestling lately. Because for all my free-form rambling about how this is all Randy Orton's fault and how pregnancy and weddings suck ass and how dumb it is to be killing Paul Bearer and crashing hearses, I've got this big ol' brain on me, and it likes to Get To The Bottom Of Things. And although I've had an inkling that Raven's morsel of wisdom would be at the core of this column MONTHS ago (when I first contemplated the issue), it was really tonight's SD! that drove things home and inspired me to figure this out and put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) once and for all. For one, you had the major league debut of Carlito Cool (yet another of 2004's cookie-cutter, one-dimensional GIMMICKS, except in this case, displaying enough depth and charisma that he evolved into a CHARCTER). And for another, well, I'm a big enough asshole to take a jab at JBL and note that for as good a character as he's become, he's violating the Wisdom of Raven at a very base level (because goddammit, if what was happening in that boring-ass brawl with Bob Holly was "wrestling," then I have no idea how I ever became a fan)! So with the evidence in front of me, and with some general ideas percolating in my Wrestling Brain for the better part of a month, it finally dawned on me how I could sum up the ills of wrestling in one, concise idea: that the calendar may say 2004, but WWE is trying to treat us like it's 1984. Seriously. Think about it; it's a pervasive and all-encompassing aspect to the WWE product. No longer spurred by competition (sorry, TNA, you don't count until you can put out a product that appeals to the general wrestling populace and NOT just to some miniscule percentage of NASCAR-fed southerners), WWE doesn't seem to have any real motivation to be creative, original, or edgy. So they tend towards playing it safe, and easy, and dumb. It's like they are trying to put the Attitude Genie back in its bottle. And it manifests itself in a number of ways, too. I'm not NEARLY a big enough dick to complain as loudly as others have about the last two years of the Fed's push to implement the "WWE style" of safe in-ring work. But I'm a big enough dick to point out that, yes, it's noticeable that the company is getting away from anything resembling the 1997-2001 highspot-laden, 100 miles per hour type of matches that made the careers of guys like Mick Foley, HHH, Edge, Christian, and the Hardys. I'm glad that guys are working safer, and I'm plenty aware the good matches (AWESOME matches, ones that I saved on video and still enjoy to this day) existed before 1997, so it's not a huge deal. But this is also a case where things like Hell in the Cell and Ladder Matches are largely getting by past glories; because the gimmicks might still get busted out in the present day, but from past training, us fans go into them expecting one thing, and almost always getting another. And maybe it's only really the difference between a Match of the Year Video Keeper and something that's only a Really Good Match, but until such time as WWE gets us fully trained to forget the Attitude Era, it's one aspect in which the company's attempted roll-back to simpler times causes fans to feel a sense of disappointment. Another area where I'm massively disappointed and think all manner of bitching, moaning, and complaining is justified is in WWE's push to eliminate anything even remotely smart or honest in their internet and publications business. There was a time, really not more than 18 months ago, when a fan might reasonably visit WWE.com to be enlightened and given something to think about. The Kevin Kelly Era of "Byte This" was generally a worthwhile show, the weekly Ross Report supplied fans with the web's only true First Generation Insider News, and articles were ALL written with a behind-the-scenes slant. Today, WWE has turned the website into Just Another Part of the Show; and while it's good and cool that they are using it as an outlet for more footage and clips and historical matches and stuff, it sucks that they didn't retain at least SOME area where fans looking for a bit of honesty might get their information straight from the horse's mouth. I think you could reasonably declare WWE's issues with the internet to be a psychosis or a phobia; the company seems to fear and dread any kind of honest discussion, and compulsively hides behind the "if you're not in the business, you don't deserve to criticize us or even TALK about us so shut up and watch TV and quit trying to think, suckers" rationalization to eradicate the smart-fan mindset. They do this now because they can; during the late 90s, however, they realized the VALUE of being honest with fans (even had Vince McMahon cutting the "won't insult your intelligence" promo) and in an attempt to win the war with WCW, they opened up this can of worms themselves. Now that there is no competition, us worms who like to talk about wrestling in a slightly more-in-depth way than spouting off "Orton RULZ, dood" and high-fiving our body-spray wearing, frosted-hair douchebag of a friend are being told to kindly go fuck ourselves. And WWE can conduct its business as they please, I guess; but I can conduct mine as *I* please, too, and I think it's completely sac-less of them to be so scared of a bit of genuine discussion and honesty to the point that high level backstage discussions are spent telling workers how to avoid leaking news to the internet when they SHOULD be putting their energy into making sure the product doesn't blow. And as per a previous column/rant on this issue, mostly I just don't understand how WWE could mindlessly cut off a potential revenue stream (they COULD make money of smart fans, if only they had the balls and the creativity to do something like a company-funded and -sanctioned version of OO -- nobody, NObody, is suggesting that they let ignoramuses and stop-watch-using goons what populate most websites run the show, but there ARE smart AND responsible ways to do insider talk) just because they are afraid of a little criticism. The same goes for the Fed's magazine business. Here, it started significantly longer ago than 18 months, but it was no less precipitous a dip when RAW Magazine went from being practically a must-read item every month (and not JUST because of the half-naked diva pictures, though those never hurt) to every bit as stultifyingly dumb a read as its counterpart, WWE Magazine. I mean, those things are great if you're a kid, maybe. I remember reading WWF Magazine when I was in grade school, and have probably a good 5 or 6 years worth of them in a box somewhere at my mom's to prove it. But even when I was a kid, something in me realized that the WWF Magazine was pretty freaking lame, and started buying the PWI magazines by the time I was 12 or so. And after flirting with pertinence (and after once again getting me back on subscriber lists for a couple years, even!), WWE's publications are right back where they started: appealing to nobody except the absolute dumbest or most naive. And these aren't even the really CORE problems. I mean, like I said above, there were good matches in the 80s, and they didn't involve flying through tables. And the dumbening of WWE's internet and publications presence is horribly frustrating, but it also really only hits at a secondary level of fandom (you have to be a big enough fan that you don't just like wrestling, you like READING about wrestling, and when even WWE's own publications only circulate about 200,000 copies a month, as compared to weekly viewers on the magnitude of tens of millions, this really ISN'T a key market for them). So I'll try to leave those minor quibbles behind, and get to the point... cuz what's important is this issue of Gimmick vs. Character, and how it manifests itself in the on-screen product. And specifically, it's a slide back to the 80s and early-90s mentality that "gimmick" is enough to get by that's hamstringing WWE creatively these days. Nobody will deny that every good character needs a hook, but in 2004, it seems like WWE has forgotten that once that hook is exhausted, there was to be some depth for fans to much care about a performer. I can't remember the last year in which the list of debuting characters has been so one-dimensional. And instead of them being "archetypical," they're basically only stereotypical, too. Predictable, boring, dumb. Just like the 1980s. Now, I don't want to shit too much on the era that made me a fan (and if you're roughly my contemporaries, that you probably remember fondly, too), but when you think back, you pretty much HAVE to grant that it's a good thing you were a kid in 1988, cuz otherwise you would NEVER have been watching that crap. For every Jake the Snake Roberts, you had a dozen Hillbilly Jims. For every relatively effective button-pushing gimmick like the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff, you had embarrassing nonsense like "Saba Simba." For every attempt to spoonfeed fans a new character that worked, you STILL had massive revolts even from the weak-minded unwashed masses (what nobody remembers is that the Honkytonk Man made his debut on TV as a BABYFACE, and with the endorsement of HULK HOGAN, but was so roundly booed that they had to change gears and pretend like that never happened). As you moved into the 90s, WWE's lust for cartoony gimmicks expanded into wrestling plumbers (TL Hopper), wrestling monks (Friar Ferguson), wrestling clowns (Doink), wrestling hockey players (forget his name, dammit), and even -- in the height of pure missingthepointery -- a WRESTLING WRESTLER ("the Pug," who did Kurt Angle's amateur wrestler GIMMICK year before Kurt himself showed up and used it to build his CHARACTER). And then, wrestling grew up. The Monday Night Wars meant the WWF had to quit being so bloody-mindedly stubborn about THEIR vision for what was "good wrestling," and start producing something that would appeal to fans and get them to quit watching that other show. Attitude was born, clowns were killed, Steve Austin was allowed to ditch the "Ringmaster" GIMMICK and develop his "Stone Cold" CHARACTER, and we have spent the better part of the last 7 years enjoying performers who maybe didn't debut as really deep and complex characters but who quickly developed into them thanks to quality storytelling and better performances. But it doesn't seem like this maturation has stuck. Because we sit here today with WWE ejaculating characters that we might have expected 10 or 20 years ago, but which I thought we were past here in 2004. This year's debuts? It's stuff like "Mordecai," whose lone personality trait was apparently that he like dipping his head in bleach, because other than that, he was nothing but a GIMMICK (he hated sinners). And like Simon Dean, whose vignettes are SO well-produced that they are just as predictable and fast-forward-able as a REAL commercial (his gimmick is he hates fat people). On the horizon, we've got Mohammed Hassan, who might get over in that Iron Sheik sort of "press the hot button" way, but who is also about as lazy and easy a gimmick (he's a Muslim!) as you can imagine. And do you know how close we came to having Hirohito's grandson (who I'm sure would have hated all WWII vets as his primary hook) as a gimmick, instead of Kenzo Suzuki? Apparently, gone are the days of letting a guy come in and use some part of his own personality to get over with fans. In 2004, there have only been two cases of guys DITCHING lame gimmicks to be more "real" when debuting with WWE (Tyson Tomko and Luther Reigns). And while only one of them (Luther) has really shown the spark of becoming a CHARACTER, this still doesn't mean that I want the core of simple realism to become the exception rather than the rule. And with the over-powering gimmickry taking over, it's ALSO worth noting that the only two gimmicks that I think will have a non-zero shelf-life are also the only two gimmicks that have been backed up with enough storytelling and have been performed with enough gusto that they are CHARACTERS. One is obviously Eugene. What could have just been The Wrestling Retard gimmick (and which would probably have been shipped back to OVW even quicker than Mordecai was) was given real meat thanks to interactions with William Regal, and later with Triple H. And it also helps IMMENSELY that Nick Dinsmore is just damned fine at pretending to be retarded; it's one thing to go out and seem natural when you're portraying a character named "Carlito Cool," it's another entirely to create the seamless illusion that Dinsmore has with "Eugene." And without that, the character would have flopped months ago. And as noted above, I think the other gimmick-cum-character is Carlito Cool, who frankly impressed the hell out of me last night. Yeah, he's doing Razor Ramon (right down to the apple spit replacing the toothpick toss), but he's doing it well enough that when you watch (or least, when I did) I wasn't thinking in terms of him "doing" anything. He was just coming off really naturally, not as an affected gimmick. I get the impression that maybe I'm in the minority on this one, but I say "Yay" for Carlito getting the US Title and for -- in one night -- showing more natural personality than Randy Orton has shown in three months. Which brings me to my last point on the gimmick vs. character discussion... because this isn't JUST about debuting superstars and how they've taken a turn for the dumb in 2004 as part of WWE's Turn Back The Clock Campaign. Like I said at the outset, this is an all-pervasive aspect to the product, and it's a HUGE part of what's wrong at the main event level. I'll just gloss over SD! and JBL (I made my joke; JBL has made me eat crow by becoming a tolerable TV personality, but when his Match Ceiling is "Average," I just don't see enough of a WRESTLER there to back up the character)... because if you've been reading along with the Rick for the last few months, you know it's RAW and Randy Orton that have been sanding my vagina with regularity. And it's because of this Character Issue. Quick: in one sentence, who is Randy Orton? Because no, Randy is not a "gimmick" in the sense that Eugene is (though both appear to have the same basic level of intelligence!), but he's also NOT anything resembling a character. His "legend killer" shtick sort of set the tone for Randall being a Disrespectful, Pompous Punk Kid... but there are only so many legends to be killed, and now that he's trying it as a fan favorite, that potential character element has to be toned down. What we're left with is just a beer-fruiting, line-fumbling, chin-locking shell of a dude. If we leave our preset notion of what is a "wrestling gimmick," and just grant that the core issue Raven was getting at is the distinction between building up a mere facade (doing things on a surface level) and creating a real, complex persona, then WWE's treatment of Orton fits in perfect with this notion of gimmick vs. character. Week after week, they try to do glossy, surface-y things to build up Orton; and week after week, fans might give him the kneejerk reaction to those isolated moments (does Orton get cheered when he makes these appearances? Sure, but it's VERY telling that when he's NOT on-screen, fans will chant for somebody ELSE to come out to interrupt or make a save or whatever, and have never ONCE been caught begging for "Randy, Randy, Randy" when there are "HBK, HBK, HBK" and "Benoit, Benoit, Benoit" chants to be had). But I honestly don't think Orton's even one of RAW's top three babyfaces today even with the massive promotional effort. Exactly ONCE has Orton been put in a spot where he was able to convince us that there's something going on inside that head of his besides an internal dialogue of "Look, me posing now". Of course, that was last week and the Flair promo. Over those 10 minutes, Orton was speaking with conviction, and seemed like he might be a real guy; he's a guy who was a Wrestling Dork when he was a kid, prancing around in his bathrobe pretending to be Ric Flair. Perfectly sensible for a kid from a wrestling family, but a really nice little touch of realism. Orton's emulation of Flair is something that probably struck a chord with a lot of fans. For that one week, we understood a LITTLE bit of what Randall was all about. So of course, this week, we're back to square one. Orton has no personality of his own, so they send him out to do Stone Cold Steve Austin's shtick. Orton, who is ostensibly feuding with Ric Flair and who has designs beyond that of eventually getting his hands on HHH and the World Title, clears the ring of 15 b-teamers because SOMEbody thought, "Hey, fans will HAVE to believe Orton kicks ass if he can RKO the Coach!"... how fucking lazy is that? But it also fits in with WWE's overall plan with Orton. Nothing the kid has done since July has built on the previous week, really. A randomly generated title shot here, getting kicked out of Evolution there, it's all just a stream of one-off moments, and although even *I* was enthusiastically contemplating the many cool possibilities of the Demise of Evolution, we got NONE of that. Nothing. No over-arching story, no real reason to give a shit about any of it. It starts with not being given a reason to give a shit about Orton. This is also part of the reason why, in my mind, HHH should be the babyface in the equation (Orton leads Evolution against its master), because he IS a character, he HAS spent years convincing us of what he's about, and even if what he's about is being a singularly world-title-hungry asshole, that CAN be vaguely respectable. Give fans the chance, and they'd cheer for HHH without having to be goosed with fabricated "moments." And I guess I can't escape this without also noting that there IS a Performance Aspect to all this. Flair promo and one or two glimmers of conviction during the Foley Feud aside, Orton really hasn't been the sharpest promo guy in the world. Mayhap it's telling that when he gets good material, that's when he delivers it well... but to really click with fans, you need to be "on" all the time, just like Eugene. Thrice a year doesn't cut the mustard if you're trying to craft a complete character for yourself. But performance aside, this really is a problem of WWE's mindset... rather than paying attention to details and telling stories that matter and even listening to how fans are reacting, they are back to that Tunnel Vision of the pre-Nitro era. They don't have to take a Big Picture View of anything, cuz they are the only game in town, and the McMahons and their minions can sit there and tell themselves "We know how to run a wrestling company, so we'll just do this our way," and it'll all be a self-fulfilling prophecy as long as nobody minds declining ratings and box office numbers. Their solution to RAW's Randy Orton problem is NOT "Stop, think, and improve our storytelling to specifically suit Orton's -- and the brand's -- needs." It's "run Randall out there to do the lazy, surface-y babyface crap that has worked for us in the past, and fans will cheer for him because we're WWE dammit, and they'll do as we say." It's wrong, I say it's part of this whole Character Issue, and I think it's one of the clearest signs that WWE's desire to dumb the product back down to 1980s levels DOES have negative effects on things besides where hardcore fans get their insider news. I'm not advocating the return of crotch-chopping and gravy-bowl matches, necessarily... but there were good things that came out of the Attitude Era that have gone missing lately. The creativity, the putting personality ahead of gimmickry, the basic sense that this was a product for grown-ups, and not just some predictably one-dimensional Hogan-esque morality play... these things probably shouldn't have been dismissed so easily. Grown-up stories with subtlety and depth DO have a place in wrestling; if they didn't, then Paul London and Billy Kidman wouldn't have been able to rope in the fans and steal the show last weekend on PPV. Having that little TASTE of complex characters makes it all the more frustrating when WWE surrounds them with rank gimmickry. Like Raven said, "It's ENTERTAINMENT." And I tend to think that there's a reason why we had a convergence of wrestling "growing up" and also becoming massively popular in the late 90's: because the product was damned entertaining once it ditched the crutches of the preceding decade. And now whether its the spirit-sappingly lazy gimmickry of debuting superstars (Mordecai, Mohammed Hassan, et al) or the soul-crushingly inept handling of world title contenders (just handing Orton superman shtick from the past and expecting that to suffice), WWE is starting to revert back to those crutches. And that just ain't cool. And the Rick, he spits in the face of any wrestling company that doesn't want to be cool. Imagine an apple-take, and we are through here, kids. Enjoy the weekend (play-off baseball and a bunch of HUGE college football games should make that an easy thing to achieve), and I'll be back here on Monday to play catch-up on some of the news I've missed today, and also to get you ready for RAW and the rest of the Wrestling Week...

I really like your booking of Wrestlemania 9.

I think you mean Wrestlemania 2000.

The Summerslam 93 stuff was just ridiculous. "Yeah! He beat him by count out! YEAH!!!!" IYH#4 had the bad Diesel/Bulldog match with a DQ finish the fans shit all over. I am one of the few that like Wrestlemania 9, but the end sucks, I have to agree. King of the Ring 1994 is a good show that ends with a horrible Lawler vs. Piper match. Ugggh. I'm sure there's a lot of WCW stuff I'm forgetting too.

1) Norman Smiley and Vader d. Steve Austin and Sabu at 7:56 in the show opener. Austin and Sabu dominated Norman Smiley throughout the match, but were unable to score a pinfall. The end of the match came when Sabu tried a triple jump moonsault to the floor through a table on Smiley, but Norman moved out of the way. With Sabu out of action, Smiley hot tagged Vader, who cleaned house. Austin came back with a stunner on Vader, but Smiley broke up the pin. Austin hooked the million dollar dream on Smiley, but Vader avalanched them both in the corner. Vader shoved Smiley aside and hit the Vader Bomb on Austin for the three count! **1/4 -After the match, Austin gave Sabu a stunner for leaving him alone in the ring to get double teamed. 2) Funaki and Johnny Stamboli d. Scott Hall and Road Warrior Animal in a big upset at 7:04. Another match where Hall and Animal dominated, isolating Funaki for most of the match. The end came when Animal hoisted Funaki onto his shoulders for a Doomsday Device. Scott Hall went to the top rope, but Stamboli distracted him with a bottle of liquor, allowing Funaki to get a victory roll for the shocking pin! **1/4 3) Steven Regal and Dean Malenko d. Steve Armstrong and Taka Michinoku at 3:45 in a glorified squash. Regal and Malenko stiffed the hell out of Armstrong and Taka, and tied them up like pretzels with different submissions. After Taka missed a dive to the floor, Malenko hooked the Texas cloverleaf on Armstrong. Regal added a facelock and Armstrong quickly tapped out. *1/4 4) Jamie Noble and Tommy Dreamer d. Big Stevie Cool and Dunn at 4:30 in another glorified squash. Stevie and Dunn did indeed try to rock things like a hurricane, with Stevie getting a quick Stevie kick on Dreamer for 2, as Noble had to dive in to break it up. Dreamer then took out Stevie with a Spicoli Driver, and Dunn quickly fell prey to a tiger bomb from Noble for the three. * 5) Rey Misterio Jr. and The Rock d. Hakushi and Mick Foley at 18:46 in the match of the night. Misteriou and Rock work extremely well together, with Misterio hitting plenty of high flying moves while Rock hits his usual high impact stuff. Hakushi and Foley rally, with Hakushi taking out Rey with a space flying tiger drop while Foley uses a chair behind the ref's back to take out Rock for a 2 count. Foley continues to work over Rock, and gets the mandible claw, but Rock counters to a Rock Bottom but can't cover. He tags in Rey who hits a springboard leg drop for 2, as Hakushi breaks it up. We get a pier six, with lots of signature moves it. Rock spinebusters Foley and tries the people's elbow, but runs into a springboard shoulderblock from Hakushi! Misterio ranas Hakushi out of the ring, however, and sets Foley up for a 619 into a Rock Bottom and people's elbow. Misterio hits another springboard leg drop and Foley is finally pinned. ***3/4 6) James Tighe and Sting d. EdOMac and Kanyon at 4:55. The British high flyer Tighe looked very impressive here, and EdOMac quickly fell prey to a Scorpion Death Drop, leading to a victory for Tighe and Sting. *1/4 7) Chris Benoit and Tokyo Magnum d. Brock Lesnar and Jim Neidhart at 6:50. Brock tossed the much smaller Magnum around like a rag doll early on. Lesnar and Neidhart even reached into the Hart Foundation's bag of tricks, hitting a Hart Attack clothesline on Magnum for 2. Benoit finally got tagged in and cleaned house, hitting a flying headbutt on Lesnar for 2. Lesnar then scooped up Benoit for an F5, but Benoit swung out of it and shoved Lesnar into Neidhart on the apron. He rolled him up for 2, and then right into the crossface for the submission. **1/2 8) Shelton Benjamin and La Parka d. Dusty Rhodes and Low Ki at 12:53. Low Ki, not surprisingly, works most of the match for his team while Dusty parks his fat ass on the apron. Low Ki and Benjamin have the "Kung Fu movie" segment, with them each trading quick kicks and strikes. La Parka gets in and the chairman crowns Low Ki with a chair shot that would have gotten his team disqualified had Benjamin not been distracting the referee. La Parka gets a few 2 counts on Low Ki, but Ki fights back and hooks a drgon clutch on Parka before Benjamin breaks it up with a seated dropkick to Ki. Benjamin goes for a whip but Ki sends him into the corner and hits the Tidal Crush kick! Ki scoops him for the Ki Krusher, but Benjamin counters with an inside cradle for 2. Ki drops Benjamin with a kick and tags Dusty. BIONIC ELBOW! BIONIC ELBOW! BY GOD, ANOTHER BIONIC ELBOW! Dussssthty drops an elbow onto Benjamin and covers him for 2, as La Parka breaks it up. Ki takes out La Parka, and Dusty holds Benjamin so Ki can kick him, but Shelton ducks and Ki knocks out Dusty! Shelton drops Ki to the floor, scales to the top, and hits a flying body press on Dusty as he gets up! 1...2...3! Benjamin and La Parka advance! ***1/2 9) Eddie Guerrero and Abdullah the Butcher d. Chuck Palumbo and Kane at 8:45. Eddie is isolated most of the match, but he ends up tagging in Abdullah, who takes out Chuck with a running clothesline. Kane tries to chokeslam the Butcher, but can't lift the big man! Abby elbows him and pulls out his fork! Eddie distracts the referee as Abby gouges Kane's forehead with the fork! Palumbo tries to stop it, but Abby sticks a fork in his head, too! Abby drops Kane and tags in Eddie, who heads up top and hits a frog splash off of Abby's shoulders onto Kane for the pin! ** 10) Raven and Bret Hart d. 911 and Diamond Dallas Page at 6:40. DDP got off to a hot start in this one, hitting a discus clothesline and front face piledriver on Raven. He set up the Diamond Cutter, but Raven countered into one of his own for 2! Raven tags in Bret, who goes for the 5 moves of doom on DDP...but DDP counters a Russian leg sweep into the Diamon Cutter (BANG!) for 2, as Raven dives in to break it up. DDP tags in 911, who chokeslams Bret, but once again Raven breaks it up. 911 tries to chokeslam Raven, but Bret chop blocks him and hooks the sharpshooter! Raven knocks DDP to the floor and gives him the evenflow on the floor! 911 taps to the sharpshooter! **1/4 This sets up our night two matches! 1) Norman Smiley and Vader vs. Johnny Stamboli and Funaki 2) Steven Regal and Dean Malenko vs. Jamie Noble and Tommy Dreamer 3) Rey Misterio Jr. and The Rock vs. James Tighe and Sting 4) Chris Benoit and Tokyo Magnum vs. Shelton Benjamin and La Parka 5) Eddie Guerrero and Abdullah the Butcher vs. Bret Hart and Raven Vote for the winners to those matches now! The five winning teams move on to the ten man battle bowl final!

Nice work man.